


Dusk till Dawn

by RedCatRen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Canon Compliant, Caves, Dark Side Rey, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endor, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Force Lightning, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Loss, Love, Love Confessions, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Mirror Sex, Original Character(s), Planet Dagobah (Star Wars), Planet Naboo (Star Wars), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Pregnancy, Rescue Missions, Resurrection, Reunions, Rey & Rose Tico Friendship, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Skywalker, Rey Solo, Separations, Sex In A Cave, Sex in Space, Snoke Being a Dick, Soft Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Tragic Romance, Underworld, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 214,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21934474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCatRen/pseuds/RedCatRen
Summary: It has been three long years since Rey lost Ben on Exegol. His voice an empty echo in head as she learns to move on.Life carries on for galaxy until one day, the distance between the here and world beyond, begins to shift.And Ben begins to find a way back to her.Excerpt:[Stretching with a yawn, Rey rises from the cold, dewy grass. Clothes damp and clinging to her skin as a strange anticipation lurches in her gut. An old sensation rippling up her back in a way her sleep drunken mind is unable to fathom.Then she see’s it.A shadow inching forward in the half light, heavy footprints on the grass rising through the fog.Hesitant and unsure ,as if trying to find direction in this poor visibility.Rey watches with growing awe at a familiar silhouette forming against the brightening glow of the dawn.Her heart stops in her chest as her jaw begins to shake. Lips trembling as a name starts to shape on her tongue."Ben?"]Post TROS fix it fic.Eventual HEARatings to likely change in later chapters- mature content
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Maz Kanata & Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 395
Kudos: 581
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp, Post-TROS-fix-it, TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. Dusk

**Author's Note:**

> As like a Iot of people was left feeling a little unsatisfied and cheated at the end of TROS and the ending Rey and Ben were given.  
> Honestly, I grieved for about 3 days after!
> 
> This serves as my version of what happens next as a form of catharsis for this whole mess. 
> 
> Production on my other fics should begin again soon :)
> 
> Much love RedCatRen

No one is ever really gone  .

That’s what Leia had told her once.

And it is in  th ose turbulent first  weeks that follows their final, triumphant battle  that this sentiment sustains her long enough to get to find her way to Tatooine. To that bleak , orb of dust that reminds her so much of  Jakku , it pains her  almost  to stay here.

But heartbroken as she is and as isolated as it appears, this is the place her heart needs.

Here is where she is called by the Force, to grieve and  start again, to feel  the  guiding presence of her mentors and  take her final steps .

Moving forward now on her own, but not alone. 

Never alone.

Luke and Leia are the quiet words of encouragement that guide her now she can no longer find Ben ’ s voice within her head, learning instead to live for two as fate has ordained.

And yet.

Sometimes she believes sees him, a hazy, soft presence  at the limit of her sight in those times between times. At dusk, standing there tall and proud between the vibrant red of Tatooines setting suns.

Waiting for her.

Ever patient and finally at peace.

There are times  she considers walking towards him and never looking back, to succumbing to the deep emptiness and pain she still feels in her chest after all this time without him. Rey thinks how easy it could be just to let go, to lose herself forever to the desolate desert that stretch's out between them.

But , she knows that is not what he would want.

This is not what he gave his mortal existence for.

And a fter everything he sacrificed to let her live, free and complete, she cannot disrespect his gift of life with weakness.

Ben would want her to keep going  and  to keep fighting , to  keep loving those around her as she ha s always done.

So each  day , as the desert night begins to close in around  them , she stands and waits.

Hoping to see his outline , a brilliant dark haze against the soft pinks and reds of the dusk  , as he watches over her, never leaving.

The wind humming gently to her .

_ ‘You are not alone’  _

_ “Neither are you”  _ she whispers back. Her heart clenching e ach time  the dark tumbles in around her and Ben’s outline begins to fade.

And yet she no longer mourns this nightly separation, though this world without him has left her duller, less  bouyant .

She  has been left  more pained then before, but also quietly assured.

For she knows he will wait for her until the end of times in that world between worlds. Ever hopeful for what awaits them on the other side.

Together.

It is this that keeps her going those first few weeks alone, this thought  once more ,  that no one is ever really gone.

For he lives on within her, this small spark of hope and love.

And how she loves him even now as the months begin to pass and the call to leave this melancholic place becomes stronger from her friends. 

She’s  knows now she’s loved from  the first time their fingertips had dared to touch across the cosmos and she truly saw what lay in his heart. 

Ben’s heart.

Once she saw Ben Solo hiding behind the mask of the monster he tried to be, there was no turning back.

This ardor only increasing when he’d saved her from the dark that fought to claim her and the  permanence  of death.

Expending everything to pull her back to him.

That joy filled smile he had given her in his final moments still haunts her, so full of light and happiness even as he’d felt his life drift away from him. Grain by grain like sand slip ping  through his fingers

Ben had held on long enough to say goodbye, to show her what she’d always known.

That he had loved her right to the  very  end and  would remain to do so even  from the great beyond. 

Patiently waiting for her to join him there one day.

Every day Rey waits to see him for those blessed stolen moments and things continue on like this each gentle  sun  cycle, until they don’t.

* * *

Three months into her sojourn at the Skywalker homestead , Rey begins to dream less and less of him, to no longer feel the press of his hand on hers in that space between dreams and wakefulness. 

Rey tries to hold onto these tendrils of his memory as tightly as she can, to hold that feeling of his mouth on hers that stretched on for millennium. To freeze the  sensation of  Bens  arms around her , remembering that wonderful affection moment  she had never felt more whole or at peace.

It seems the tighter she holds on, the more she loses of him.

Each hook she tries to latch on, tears more and more of him away from her. The more she tries to bend the Force to keep him  here , the more the Force pushes them apart.

Eventually, with each setting of the sun his presence gets fainter and fainter, until one day there is nothing but the sky that greets her between those two great suns of Luke’s  home p lanet.

Rey no longer dreams of him.

No longer feels the small flickering ' s  of  Ben within her.

He is truly gone.

It is after this she finally cries, that she screams and mourns and grieves what could have been.

It is then knows she must leave , for the Force no longer wants her here.

Alone  and without  purpose.

And it is on  one  beautiful desert morning  that she finally resolves to move on.

Making one final act of letting go,  she retrieves Ben’s torn, but ever so soft undershirt from her hut. The  one last piece of him she still  possesses .

Wrinkled and almost shapeless after all the months she’d clutched to her breast at night , the shirt feels heavy in her hands. 

Inhaling what little scent of him remains, she forces herself to do what she hasn’t had the strength to do since he’d left here alone.

Tearing one small strip off the garment she wraps it around the hilt of her lightsabre, pressing the rest of it to her face as s he s obs quietly into the fabric.

After she  buries it deep into the sand as she had done with the Luke and Leia’s sabre, sending it to rest forever beside the last emblems of the once mighty Skywalkers.

“Goodbye Ben” she whispers once more to the wind, the sand offering nothing but a gentle hiss as the grains shift around her feet.

Stepping into her ship, she  turns on e last look  toward the homestead and the suns that had given her warmth these past six months. Knowing she will not return, there is nothing  left  here for her now.

* * *

After this she doesn't stop to breath or think or feel beyond her most basic needs .

There is too much to do.

So  Rey travels.

Far and wide across the galaxy.

Seeing every splash of green and place of beauty.

Because she must live, she must be who she promised she would be and  honour the second chance at live she has been given .

She will do as she has always done in her life, she will survive.

Scavenger and scrape together all she can to keep moving forward.

She has much to do now.

So she point s her ship homeward , to the only connection she has left.

Finn, Poe and  Chewie welcome her return with joy and verve.

Charting every course and helping with every effort of rebuilding she  demands.

Happy to take her guidance and use her sense of urgency to spark the renewal the new leadership  so desperately  nee ds .

And soon she  accomplishes all that  Ben had offered to her so long ago.

She brings a new order and balance back to  G alaxy, but never tak es t he  suggestion of power so many try to thrust upon her.

For she is no diplomat or senator .

S he is not what her  powerful  bloodline demands.

Instead she offers herself as  a  guardian and keeper of peace . Gently steering the ship until the Galaxy reforms and revives itself to its former glory, altered, but altogether stronger.

Rey  then  begins to train and mentor all those who come to her in search of guidance within the Force.

Finn and Jannah being her first students in this new school of thought. Balance the key to all that helps her school grow.

She teaches them well and soon they shine like precious gems, the light that surrounds them a glorious blue in the Force.

Finn and Jannah’s growing bond with each other reminding Rey so much of her and Ben, it her pains to watch them. Their bond, though platonic and more akin to brother and sister, simmers with a love and sense of belonging that Rey so fervently admires.

To see once more what might have been had fate chose different. 

And yet, she carries on.

Holding onto the memory, clutching at what once was hers a s she runs her fingers over the thin strip of black on her hilt. 

Missing him.

So much time passes and yet sometimes when she looks at the horizon, often at dusk, she swears can still see him. Tall and proud.

Waiting.

* * *

Three y ears after the battle at  Exegol , the galaxy is finally at peace.

The new  systems of governance ensuring all peoples from the core worlds to the outer reaches live in prosperity and safety.

All traces  of  the First Order and Empire  now  lost to the history books, dead with  no path  return.

Poe  Dameron now serves within the senate, carrying on the brilliant work his surrogate mother had started.  Honoring Leia  Organa with every action and measured decision he makes to guarantee her sacrifice will never be in vain. 

He is married  now  and the father of two beautiful twin s  named Luke and Leia ,  utterly at peace and free of the blind ambition that had plagued him before. 

Rey know he is happy. His holovids to her once a week tell her as much.

Finn  no longer lives in the core worlds and Rey hears from him a little less than either of them would like. Yet life moves on.

The former stormtrooper now  heads a new trooper de-radicalization and education program with Jannah and Rose in the lush jungles of Endor. Healing and helping those the First Order left behind to find themselves again in this better and fairer world. To help name themselves and reclaim all that had been stripped away as children.

All three  are  blissfully happy in this  new, enriching relationship despite the pitfalls such a complicated arrangement could cause.  And yet, it works.

Love and only love being the thing that matters.

Chewbacca finally retires from active duty after Finn leaves for  Endor , choosing instead to return home after all the years away he had spent in service of the Resistance. Satisfied old his friends' spirit’s will live on forever in the work Poe, Finn and Rey continue to do. Enjoying the peace on  Kashyyyk with the family he fought so long to protect. Finally at rest and revealing in what fate had graciously saved for him, despite the bitter loses he had suffered along the way. Always remembering Han, Leia and Luke on the sunniest of days as he plays with his children’s children amongst the newly revived forests of his home.

And just like that, their paths diverge. 

Intersecting, but running their own course towards purpose.

* * *

After a  time, Rey’s own feet began to itch and urge her to  travel again once m ore.

Her work now done and life moving on in the  new Galactic Republic  beyond a need for her guidance .

She has her freedom again.

And so, she slips away one night undetected by  her friends and all her students. 

Alone but not lonely. For she is never truly alone.

Ju mping in the Falcon  to fly  with no plan or direction, she finds herself at  Naboo after some time .

To the place Padme and Anakin had promised themselves to each other.

Entering the planet's atmosphere, her  urge to wander  stops immediately, for it is here  she is meant to be. Something within the Force coaxing her closer and closer.

Landing near to the Villa Padme had hoped to raise her children, Rey takes a moment to breath it all in, to absorb the peace she finds there.

For there is something familiar and intimate about it. She considers perhaps she had been born here.

After a time, Rey walks the gardens surrounding  Varykino , marveling at all the green and new life  blooming  around her. The loveliness of the evening birdsong and flashes of  colour in the trees a welcome contrast to the cityscapes she has recently become accustomed.

Rey walks and walks until she reaches a large meadow by a waterfall, dusk now beginning to f all. Here she stops, listening to the rushing water and letting herself remember.

Thoughts turning to him for the first time in what seems  an age.

Wondering where is this great and wide universe he is now.

Whether he is finally at peace.

Sitting in the grass she watches the sky change from blue, to pink before  it shifts to a large canvas of immeasurable stars. Drifting and shining above her like pathways to unknown stories.

For the first time in so long, something tugs at her. A ghost of things passed and gone, brushing the edge of her consciousness. The air shifting into something new and yet,  constant .

Lying back into the grass, her breath stolen, she traces the sky. A melody singing to her from the Force, across the stars, stirring something long thought long dead.

Closing her eyes, Rey lets the feeling fill her soul, soothing her pain and easing her to sleep.

That night, for the first time in a long time she dreams of him. Of his smile and  the warmth  of his depthless brown eyes.

In her dreams, she finally finds Ben again.


	2. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben work to get back to one another, but the Force has other ideas.

The meadow is filled with fog as she wakes the next day at dawn, the waterfall obscured by the thick wall of air as it swirls around her body.

The rising sun to the East barely visibly as Rey sits up, tired eyes blinking as they try to focus on the opaque pinks that greet her that morning.

  
Stretching with a yawn, she rises from the cold, dewy grass. Clothes damp and clinging to her skin as a strange anticipation lurches in her gut. An old sensation rippling up her back in a way her sleep drunken mind is unable to fathom.

  
Then she see’s it.

  
A shadow inching forward in the half light, heavy footprints on the grass rising through the fog.

  
Hesitant and unsure ,as if trying to find direction in this poor visibility.

  
Rey watching with growing awe at a familiar silhouette forming against the brightening glow of the dawn.

  
Her heart stops in her chest as her jaw begins to shake. Lips trembling as a name starts to shape on her tongue.

  
She takes one step forward, squinting into the gloom and shadows.

  
Daring to hope that this is no trick of her mind or the Force playing a upon her hopeful, tender heart.

  
Because she cannot begin to believe this is actually real.

  
Can it?

A spark in the air ignites within her and she knows, this is no vision.

A crackle of something long forgotten bursting into life.

  
The figure now surges forward with more purpose as he spots her silhouette on the other end of the meadow. Cutting through the fog and across the expanse that once felt insurmountable.

  
Rey finds herself running before she is even conscious of her movement.

  
Tears streaming down her face as Ben’s dark brown eyes shifts into focus, a beacon of longing in the cold, darkness of the dawn.

  
“BEN!” Her cry rings out in the quiet of the early morning, lethargic limbs stumbling over the uneven ground but heedlessly rushing forward none the less.

  
The enraptured smile that stretches across his mouth as she comes into view is worth more than all the stars in the galaxy.

  
“BEN!” she screams again, her mind in overdrive as his face becomes clearer through the drifting fog between them.

  
She doesn’t know how or why he is suddenly here, but she does not care.

  
Rey runs harder, Ben slowing to meet her with open arms and a smile so bright it makes her laugh with a sheer delight.

  
His form is solid and warm as she wraps her arms around his neck, kissing him with such a fervor it knocks them back a step or two.

  
Ben responds almost immediately, his big hand cupping her face as he kisses her back with desperation and relief.

  
Rey is still crying when she pulls back to look at him in awe.

  
He is really here; he has come back to her.

  
Alive, solid and clear.

  
She does not know how or why now.  
But she is happy.

  
So very happy, laughing again as he smiles at her so sweetly it makes her heart ache with joy.

  
Kissing him again, she finds herself lifted off her feet as Ben wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her up towards him.  
And the whole galaxy tilts.

  
Colour bursting back into Reys once dull and achromatic soul. The warmth of his chest against hers comforts and feeds her.

  
The smile she feels against her mouth is bliss as he kisses her back so fiercely, she feels he could consume her body and soul.   
And she is more than willing to let him.

  
A bond once dead, a connection once cut, blooms back into live and Rey can feel him there again within her mind. Brightening and sharing her joy.

  
Infinite and unbroken. 

  
"I have missed you so" he rumbles against her mouth. Resting his forehead on hers as his own tears flow free.

Running her hand down his face, reminiscent of how she had touched him before they had been cruelly parted, she searches his eyes.

Sees the life beating through the darkness and the love he reflects back at her.

"Not as much I have missed you" she manages to whisper back. Fingers tracing the waves of his soft, dark hair.

  
"How are..."she struggles through sobs "how are you here?"

  
Gently placing her back on her feet, Ben shakes his head, a troubled look on his face.

  
"I don’t ....I'm not sure.” His breath shudders. Brow furrowing as he tries to put it into words.  
“For the longest time...all I have seen, felt, been....is nothing but emptiness” he explains, his frown deepening as he searches his mind for the answer.

  
“That is until I woke up here on the far side of this meadow."   
He breathes deeply as though he too cannot believe what is happening.

  
"When I got to my feet, I just started walking. Each step bringing me here. …..To you."

  
Rey smiles back him softly.   
"I dreamt of you last night” she murmurs, grip tightening at the hair on the nape of his neck. Pulling him closer.

  
“The Force called me here and....it was the first time in years I have dreamt of you" Rey says slowly, reaching again to run her palms over his warm cheeks. 

  
His pulse hot and steady under her fingers.  
Disbelief rife within her, even as she feels the heat from his body and hears the strumming of his heart as she lays her head against his chest. 

  
Flesh, blood, real.

  
"Years?" Ben murmurs back, the question hanging in the air. Digesting this new information as he rests his cheek upon the crown of her head as she clings to him.

  
“Three years, it's been three years since Exegol.....since you..." Reys voice falters.

  
"Three years" he repeats solemnly, sounding almost crestfallen "has it really been that all that time?"

  
Catching her chin in his palm, he gently raises her face to meet his again. Expression sorrowful.

  
"I'm sorry it took me so long to find my way back”  
Rey shakes her head, tears still streaming from those big hazel eyes.

  
"It doesn't matter, I would have waited a hundred more."

  
"Me too" he answers, that same toothy, dimpled grin flashing at her. A smile she swears he only reserves for her. 

  
Wiping at her tears, he kisses her again, a contented hum rising from his chest.

  
Holding him tighter Rey melts into his arms. Strong and sure and real.

  
He kisses her until they are both breathless and bruised. For a while all they do is watch the other, incredulous to actually be reunited.

  
"I tried so hard on Tatooine to break through. To leave that cold, empty World between Worlds." He whimpers suddenly, his voice grave and face serious.

  
"That _was_ you!" Rey beams as she pulls back to look at him better.

  
"I knew I could feel you there"

  
Ben nods, expression almost grief stricken.  
"I tried for so long to push through, but the harder I pushed, the more the Force pulled me back. Further and further until I couldn’t find you anymore." Ben sighs sadly as he stares at the ground below.

  
" It doesn't matter. You're here now. You came back."

Reys beaming smile is the only thing he sees when he meets her eyes and the morose look on his face breaks as she exudes so much light, he can't help but give her a small smile in return.

  
"Always" he replies softly, brushing her hair away from her face to look deeply into her beautiful eyes. Her tender gaze proving to him the feelings they had shared have not dimmed one bit in the last few years.

  
She still loves him and only him.

  
She waited as he always knew she would.

  
A fact which make his next words all the more difficult to say to her. Because he knows, he can feel it.

  
The impermanence of this reunion.

  
"I wish it could be forever." He sighs unhappily and Rey freezes in his arms.

  
Her heart plunging into her gut. Knowing already what’s about to come.

  
As his face falls, this look of bittersweet regret etching his features, she feels only now she really sees him. 

  
All of him.

  
Too blinded by her joy at finding him to really understand what is going on.

  
Ben still shows the signs of their last battle of years before, the toil beaten into his lovely face. Bruises and cuts that never quite healed marring his cheeks as his gaze grows bleaker and bleaker. That same black undershirt she had buried deep in the Tatooine sands, stretched neatly across his immense chest.

  
He remains stuck in that day, never changing.

  
The Force has gifted them nothing more than a stolen moment in a long stretch of eternity.

  
"You can't stay" she trembles as she grips the material of his shirt desperately.

  
"No" Ben replies sadly as he gently removes her hands from chest and takes a visible step back "not yet".

  
"Please don’t go, not again. I can’t bear it. Not when I’ve only just found you" Rey begs, her tears and sobs returning as he pulls further away.

Matching every step he takes back, with a step forward of her own.

"This will not the last time we see each other, I promise " Ben deep voice trembles as he treads another step back, his emotions fighting to the surface.

  
Reys vision is impaired by sudden brightness of the large rising sun as it moves behind him, his form lost in the glare.

  
"Please don’t leave me". She begs, voiced filled with despair.

  
"I'll come back for you sweetheart, I promise" he whispers, his eyes once more the last things she sees before his body fades into the light.

  
"Ben?" Rey calls out desperately and all at once she is alone again. The silence deafening.

  
"BEN!" she shouts louder, collapsing to her knees.

  
"Come back, please, come back" her body wracking with long buried grief and face buried in the soft blades of grass as she collapses further.

  
“Come back!”

  
Nothing but the sounds of early rising creatures echo back at her and she feels broken.

  
Untethered in the wilds of loss.  
…....  
The days that follow on, pass with little change as Rey tries to piece herself back together again.

  
She does not mourn this time, her optimism intact despite the fact she does not see Ben at the next dawn or the ones that follow.

Every early rising and walk by the meadow adding nothing but pain and exhaustion to her daily routine.

  
But she endures.

  
At times, there are moments Rey believes she hears the whisper of her name on his lips. Feels the brush of his hand upon hers or his fingertips upon her cheeks.

  
There with her, but wistful as a spectre.

  
Stuck once more on the far side of a great divide.

  
Unreachable and unseen.

  
However, this separation is not like before.

  
The heat of small embers flicker inside, telling her what she has lost, is not gone.

  
Ben is still fighting, still clinging on to this world.

  
Trying to pull himself back to her. Inch by inch.

  
Hour by hour.

  
Sometimes as she meditates, she can see him coming into view, reaching, arching to catch the hand she keeps extended. The shape of him waning in and out of focus.

  
The mantra Leia had taught her; _be with me;_ finding a new meaning as she searches the beyond.

  
Clutching nothing but open air no matter how hard and far she pushes.

  
Rey keeps trying, stretching as far into the Force as her abilities will allow. Grasping for the hand she had refused more than once from him.

  
The hand she now wishes to hold forever.

  
Patience is a virtue she knows all too much about and she is more than accustomed with waiting for what she wants.

  
But even as the days pass and a frustration grows, Rey knows that this is exactly where she needs to be.

  
Naboo holding the key to finding their way back to each other.

  
To forge their path here as Padme and Anakin had done.

  
She feels this most as she explores the land of their ancestors. Naboo providing more and more answers to questions she never knew she wanted to know. 

  
History bleeding from every corner she turns, the ghosts of Anakin and Padme a bittersweet lesson and memory. So much love and tragedy still haunting each corridor in the home they shared, unfolding a sadness in Rey that makes her weep. For she knows this pain the Force shows her, the hope that was twisted to fear.

  
The love that was destroyed with hate.

  
The hate her own grandfather worked to perpetuate inside Anakin. His malice still lives here now, seeping out of every dark corner. 

  
Palpatine is a scourge upon this place that is not so easy to exorcise, even after many the years that have passed.

  
But Rey tries, works to fill the rooms of this house with all the love and hope she can muster.

  
But one souls light is not enough to heal these wounds.

  
For she knows this pain too and she cannot take it alone.

  
No one could make this journey alone.

  
After the seventh day in the villa, Rey is done waiting for Ben to do it himself.

  
She can feel his strength drifting and failing ,Rey no longer having the luxury to wait any longer.

  
To risk losing this tentative link they still hold.

  
Using all the will and courage she can find, she reaches deep inside herself, extending the tendrils of her search further than she thought possible into the darkness that holds him. The Force pushing back at her intrusion into this underworld, ferociously at odds with the dark hunger with which she plunders the energy around her.

  
Passion and peace driving her on in equal measure.

  
Reaching and forcing her way forward until the effort begins to make her breathless. 

  
Her consciousness waning.

  
But still she pushes, straining against the pain and exhaustion.

  
Willing her body to just hold on for one more attempt at the impossible.

  
Her control slipping as an eager hand finds purchase in hers, tethering itself as she begins to slip back.

  
Two ,where once there was only one.

_"Rey"._


	3. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey reunite again, this time granted a longer reprieve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is both longer and more angsty/fluffy then I originally intended....oh dear.  
> The chapter count has gone up one and may be even longer depending on how long the next chapter and the one following ends up being.
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the kudos, I don't usually hit over 50 until my 4th or 5th chapters!
> 
> They are so appreciated, so please do let me know if you like this work :)

* * *

For the longest time, Rey feels only darkness.

A hand clinging to hers  and soft words in her ear. 

“You’re okay, I got you.”

* * *

When Rey finally  starts to  come to on the floor of her chambers, her entire body aches with exhaustion.

Immediately she knows,  _ she is not alone _ _. _

Her eyelids fight to open, to see him with own eyes.

Because  Ben  _ is  _ there, leaning over her as his head presses to her chest. 

She can feel his uneven breath es  as he takes in great, shuddering  gulps of air . His whole torso heaving as he  suppresses the  urge to cry.

His desperation is clear as he lis ten s to the lazy thud of her heart, terror rolling off him as he holds her close. Fully aware just how far she has overextended herself to bring him here. 

Large hands support her neck and hips as she rests upon his lap, his eyes tracing her face with  apprehension  as she wakes. 

Watching as her eyes flutter and she becomes more and more aware of her surroundings. 

Weakly she shifts in his arms, groaning in discomfort.

Blinking as tries to make sense of the images swimming in front of her.

Rey’s initial confused expression softens as her eyes focus on Ben, a slow smile spreading across her face. Reaching up to  touch his jaw with shaking hands.

“Hi.” she croaks out blissfully, Ben’s own mouth quirking up momentarily as he exhales harshly in relief.

The brief whoosh an almost bitter laugh.

He is furious.

Rey senses as his thoughts turn to  the last  time they’d  found themselves in this position.

Their  unfortunate  postures mirroring Exegol so eerily, it makes Rey bolt up in shock as she realizes her mistake.

Déjà vu is an unwelcome reminder of what they had suffered as Ben frowns at her. Similarly disheartened to have  this  history repeat itself.

“That was too reckless, promise me you won’t do it again”  Ben grinds out, his lip trembling as he cups her cheek. Pulling her closer to him as she sits up further.

“I had to find you, there was no other way.” she whispers back, gripping his jaw  more firmly  in her hands as her thumbs run over his skin.

There’s something different about him this time around as she studies his face, noting a change that wasn’t there before. A freshness to his face as though the wounds  are  fainter , that his eyes shine brighter. More alive.

Like the pull to this world has healed him in some small way. Cleansing him of what still remains of that awful day. 

It is a development to Rey that both startles and gives her hope.

As if each tentative, dangerous step she takes to find him  could  pull him free of the underworld forever.

Rey beams at seeing the changes, her fingers tracing the softness of his face for the first time in days. Feeling the newly knitted skin and once mottled bruises soften under her hands, over joyed her efforts have been rewarded.

The connection  she had found  holding him here strong and unyielding at least for the moment .

T he Force’s pull  up on him nothing more than a gentle tug in comparison to the ironclad grip Rey maintains.

So deep rooted, she manages despite her weariness , to keep him grounded with her.

Solid and real.

Ben kneads his fingers into the tired muscles at the nape of her neck, a half-smile pulling at his lips.

“ Perhaps next time, try not almost kill yourself in the process.” he scolds, a gentle  humour flashing in his eyes despite his vexation.

“Worked didn’t it?” she shoots back with a grin and Ben scoffs.

“Be that as it may, the point still stands” he smirks in reply, unable to even pretend to reprimand her when she looks at him like that.

As though her whole world rests on his smile.

“Don’t be so foolish as to  think  work ing against the will of the Force is a wise solution . It’s not worth the cost.”

“It was  and it always will be,  I had to find you” Rey repeats with a coy smile,  feeling his resolve break a little. T ilting his face down a fraction to meet her waiting mouth , she silences his gripes.  Tired of his half- hearted castigation already.

Especially when the alternative is just so tempting.

“And you did. I’m here” he whispers back hoarsely  against her plush lips  as all other thoughts leave his mind, groaning as she kisses him deep and slow. Eyes fluttering closed as all lingering anger and concern at her, shifts into desire and longing.

Pulling her closer as their mouths explore further and tongues tentatively move against each other, Ben preens at the attention.

The new movements of their lips are awkward and hindered with inexperience at first, but no less thrilling. It leaves them both flushed and breathless after only a few moments , but so excited that neither of them can contain it.

Ben is panting and crushing her to him as her legs fall astride his hips. The heat of her core pressing against his stomach and down to his groin is a delicious torture as they move closer still. Feeding something dark  and ancient  as she shifts slightly on his lap.

Every kiss adding more and more fuel to a fire that’s beginning to burn within. A raging storm  of sensations which make him feel more human than he has in years . 

Rey’s groans  of enjoyment  stoking the want of a man being offered his heart's desire.

But it is not something Ben can accept at this time without guilt.

For as  alluring as the sensation is, it must be tempered for the benefit of them both.

Pushing forth  is  not an option.

Not when Ben can feel in his bones the strain Rey’s body has taken dragging him back here, her exhaustion a worrisome  condition .

Much as he wants to continue this new favorite activity of theirs, he must also be practical.

Conscious of how little time they may have together .

He for one  does not want to risk her losing conscious on him again.

Not when he will be unable to help her.

Pulling back with great reluctance, he quietly chuckles at Rey’s immediate pout, her  objection at stop ping altogether endearing.

And yet, she does not argue or push him.

Knowing this reprieve is the right decision. Her limbs  so  weak and head  so  cloudy with fatigue she can barely think .

So, she takes what gifts she is still allowed. 

And b eing here with him is more than enough for tonight.

Resting his head against hers, Ben drinks in the tender look in her eyes as she sighs happily.

“Thank you for not giving up” he murmurs earnestly, pressing a kiss to  her temple .

“You don’t need to thank me.” Rey smiles, sitting back slightly to look at him better.

“But you must know, you are a remarkably hard person to find” she teases, running the back of her hand  up and down his cheeks.

“And you are a remarkably hard person to get rid of” Ben smirks, laughing a little as she shoves him gently in protest.

“E chu  ta” Rey replies grumpily with a shake of her head.

“ Cyar’ika , what beautiful things you say” Ben responds playfully, laughing more heartily as she pushes him again with a bitten back smile.

“Your sarcasm is not welcome right now”.

“No?” Ben drawls, taking her hands in his and pressing them to his mouth.

“How about my winning personality?”

“Just about tolerable” she huffs with a pout.

“And my easy charm?” Ben a dds  with an arch of his eyebrow.

“Not as charming as you  may  think.” Rey retorts with a smirk.

The grin he gives her in reply is so wide and boyish, his dimples deepen into his cheeks. Rey’s resolve slipping as she smiles back. 

“But I guess, you can have your moments” she sighs mockingly, entwining her fingers in his. Marveling at the  size difference between their hands.  Each of his palms so huge she wonders if her whole hand could fit there within its  border .

Ben seems to read the challenge and presses their palms together, her hands childlike when matched against his great paws .

“A perfect fit” he muses out loud, his tone almost proud, smiling  at her  with wide eyed enthusiasm.

And Rey feels that all too familiar warmth spread through her chest.

It still comes a s a surprise to Rey, even with the connection they share, just how gentle and guileless Ben Solo is at times. A complete antithesis of the man Snoke ,and ultimately Palpatine, had tried to make him.

The big heart  of Ben Solo  too strong  and dauntless  to  be  t orn  down forever .

Palpatine’s  nefarious actions and plans thwarted by the simplest and most basic of things.

For the dark cannot conceive of the strongest bond in the universe.

T hat of the  love of a parent for their child.

And in the end, the love of  a  young man for his mother and father.

Holding faith and hope in the person d espite every mistake each party has made.  Believing there is goodness within.

It is an oversight that seal ed  the Emperors fate in the end.

Just as  he  had done with her own parents. 

For d eath is the price any of them would pay for their child’s life.A sacrifice such as this could  not b ut make a mark upon their child.

To  prove they were loved, wanted and worth saving. A so, delivering them further from the dark and into the light.

For now,  Han, Leia, her parents; they live on within them still.

At peace.

"It’s not just them he grossly underestimated” Ben says suddenly, fingers curling through hers as their palms stay pressed together. Looking at her with such softness, Rey feels her heart jolt. A flush spreads across her cheeks in slight embarrassment a t having her t houghts read so easily.

Leaning in, Ben rest his forehead on hers. Whiskey  coloured eyes all she can see for a moment.

“He underestimated you and that caring, courageous and  incorruptible heart of yours. That capacity for forgiveness only a true  jedi can possess.”

Rey blushes further at his words.

“I think you’ll find you possess some of those qualities too Ben” she murmurs earnestly.

“Just some?” he grins, brushing the stray strands of hair from her face , pausing to hold his  soft  palm on her cheek.

“Perhaps all of them, when you  feel so inclined ” she deadpans back and Ben snickers slightly.

“When I  feel so inclined ! You make me sound like a petulant child”

“Are you sure you’re not halfway to one already ? ” Rey counters and Ben scoffs in mock indignation. 

“Such malice you have wounded me deeply with” Ben  retorts,  pulling back to smirk at her attractively.

“Truly....you seem upset” she needles back in jest.

“Woefully.” his deep voice rumbles.

Rey laughs despite herself, leaning in to kiss him with a snort.

Ben wraps his arms around her, pulling her to his chest as he kisses her back gently.

The smile he gives her when they eventually separate again, takes her breath away once more as it always does.

He looks  truly  happy.

She opens her mouth to tease him further when a deep yawn suddenly bubbles to the surface. Rey all at once feeling every nerve within her body object to the cold, hard, wooden floors they rest upon.

The strain she had put her body under once more rearing  it’s ugly head. Her vision swimming a little as Ben watches her eyes focus and unfocus in quick succession.

Though her  body throbs for something more comfortable than the floor of her chamber, the thought of lying upon her doughy, inviting mattress fills her with dread.

Knowing once her eyes shut, Ben is certain to disappear again.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks more seriously, all traces of his playful  humour gone.

Concern etched in his beautiful brown eyes as he feels every lick of pain she shudders at.

“I’m fine, just tired” she sighs, looking down at his hands as they rest on her waist.

Holding her steady as her lightheaded moment passes.

Seeing her recover a little,Ben simply nods with a deep frown.

Not adding anything further as his mind ticks over the evidence.

Eyes trace her face silently as if debating whether to force her to bed in this state. Knowing what her slumber will mean. 

Rey catches the end of his  maudlin  train of thought, her expression darkening.

“Not yet”  she  says firmly “I’m  fine .”

“Alright , I believe you” he mutters, utterly unconvinced.

“At least let  me get  us  off the floor.” 

As she nods in agreement, Ben sighs, rubbing slow, soft circles  at her hips . Coaxing her closer to his chest as his arms slip under her knees and shoulders. 

Shifting carefully as he begins to rise to his feet. 

At first Rey thinks about protesting his help, unused to letting someone take care of her for once.

But the heat of his chest and security of his arms around her are a comforting warmth .

Soothing the aches that have set deep within her bones.

Truthfully, she is not certain she even has the energy to  stand anyway.

As he starts to walk towards the next room where her bed lies waiting,  now feeling just how weak her body has become,  Rey ’s voice is barely above a whisper as she objects.

" Ben, please " she murmurs softly.

"If I sleep...." 

Her face screws up with a pained expression and Ben's soulful eyes saddens as he understands immediately 

"I'm not ready to let go yet."

"I'm not ready to go either" he replies  despondently, his jaw working as he chews over the emotion that wells up inside him. Knowing what emptiness awaits on the other side.

"But you need to rest....and I can’t in all conscious allow you  to hurt yourself just to..."

Rey interrupts him with a searing kiss, arching up as far as her body will allow. Thankfully Ben takes the rest of the strain, holding her there against his mouth. Pouring everything that still remains unsaid between them into that kiss.

"Just a little while longer" Rey insists quietly, looking deeply into his eyes as they part.

Ben looks as though  he’s about to insist to the contrary, his mind turning over the problem.

Torn between what she wants and what she needs.

Sighing in defeat, he turns away from the bedroom and takes them  to the balcony that overlooks the lake.

* * *

Sett ling them in  against a love seat, Ben hums happily as Rey  snuggles  deeper into his chest. 

Her back warm and soft against him as they both look out at the lake.

The blanket he had found along the way, twists round them like a warming cocoon. Keeping the worst of the night ’ s chill away.

“Are you comfortable?” he murmurs in her ear, his voice a deep rumble as the vibrations roll into her body. Rey shivers a little in his laps as his breath tickle the back of her neck.

“Perfectly” s he s miles up at him lazily , pulling his arms tighter around her.

Ben’s smile in reply is soft and full of affection as he drops a kiss to the crown of her head.

Saying nothing more, they sit in the silence for the longest time. Watching the gentle lapping of the lake upon the shore,  t he reflection of a million stars  shining  from its water s .

These pinpricks of light in the inky black , a shimmering beauty against the dark shadows of the surrounding hills.

A spark of life in this place of solitude.

Rey considers, if  these moments are the last  they share, there are  few sights  and places of substance  that will compare to this breathless majesty. 

This utter sense of peace.

A realization  that all pain, no matter how  tearing and  bleak, is worth it for moments like  this .

For the quiet, uncomplicated stolen kisses  she earns from him  and the feel of their body heat intertwined.

T he se precious few moments they are the only two souls  left  alive in the universe.

It is memory R e y will  cling  to until the end of her days.

* * *

When Ben finally breaks the silence, the noise is almost jarring.

“I came here every year when I was a small boy, spending the Summer months with my parents.” Ben rumbles suddenly , interrupting the calm that had descended.

His expression is bittersweet as his  eyes  stare  wistfully out at the lake.

“My father taught me to swi m in that lake and  to fly small speeders in that meadow.”

He pauses, a smile curling at his lips at the memory.

“M y mother, she used to take me to this balcony to look at the stars” .

Rey shifts in his arms, leaning forward to look at him a little better. Intrigued by his tales of childhood.

Ben's tone is thoughtful as he continues.

“ There ’ s no better view of t he stars in the entire galaxy than right here. At bedtime, my mother would hold me  c lose like we are now.  Watching the night sky to t ell me the stories of old . The tales only the stars could tell ”

R ey smiles at him sadly as he meets her eye.

“My mother did too, of what I can remember.”

She blushes a little as she adds her next words, fully aware how it will sound.

“I had always hoped one day I would be able to do the same, if the time ever came for me”.

Ben’s expression saddens, the feeling of his heart being torn from his chest a  torturous hell as he digests her words. The implication behind her statement not lost on him.

For it is the one thing he cannot give her.

“You will, I know you will” he nods with conviction, ignoring the great maw of pain that opens up in his chest.

_ Just not with me.  _

The horrible truth hangs in the air.

Rey’s lip starts to tremble as she looks at him, tears starting to form in her eyes.

Because she knows it too, this irrefutable truth and tragedy.

Letting out a long, deep breath, Rey smiles at him sadly.

“Tell me a bedtime story” she chokes out, tears now falling freely.

Ben’s face crumples as he pulls her close to him, guiding her head to rest on his chest as she cries.

“Of course. It would be my pleasure”

Holding back his own tears, he runs his fingers up and down her spine as he tries to sooth her.

Voice rich and full of emotion as he begins.

“Can you see, in the furthest corner of the sky, there by the constellations of  Canis and Aquila?” 

Rey nods as she traces the line in which points.

“That is the twin star system of  Tyranus and Delilah, do you know that story?” he asks gently.

“No” Rey whispers back, tears still glistening from her beautiful hazel eyes. The iris of each almost green in the dark of the night.

“Well it’s one of my  favorites ” Ben smiles tenderly and Rey smiles back at him so sweetly he almost cannot stand to think this will all be over soon.

“You see  Tyranus was the cruel ruler of an ancient kingdom in the wilds of  Alderaan . A lonely, selfish man who had no regard for anyone else, until...”

At this Rey’s smile grows wider.

“He found Delilah?” she suggests.

Ben nods as his own grin broadens.

“Yes, but that is only part of the story.For falling in love is only ever the beginning, never the end.”

…...

The sky is a beautiful crimson when Rey wakes the next day at dawn.

The warmth of Ben’s body still lingers on her skin as she finds herself alone on the balcony, sun starting to stream in through the pillars.

Rey does not weep this time.

Does not lament this separation.

Because she knows, they will see each other again.

Even if it does kill her.


	4. Twilight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey continues to search for a way to bring Ben back as old friends come back to offer help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is more of a filler chapter....mostly as the chapter was getting way too long!  
> I will be hopefully finishing the next part by the 2nd of January (fingers crossed)  
> Thank you all for all your kudos and comments, I actually can't believe how big the response was to the last chapter and apologies for making a few people cry.
> 
> The angst will continue for a little while longer, but the next chapter will be heavily Ben/Rey and may have a slight ratings change to mature....I hope you continue to enjoy this tale. I very much enjoy writing it!
> 
> Any feedback is always welcomed.

* * *

It is during Rey’s second week on Naboo that the peace and solitude that she has become accustomed to is rudely interrupted. 

It seems that the authorities of this small, lush planet have taken none too kindly to her presence here in Varykino.

The villa that once housed the revered  Naberrie dynasty, stands now as an eternal memorial to Padme Amidala and all that were lost in the war.

A broken reminder of the suspicions that still surround their government galaxy wide, for allowing one of their own to rise to such dark power. 

Palpatine's vicious shadow especially long in the place of his birth, tarnishing the beauty of  Varykino with his vitriolic influence.

Even so,  Varykino remains sacred to the people of Naboo.

So, it comes as no surprise that the current Queen initially demands Rey leave immediately. 

Exile the only just punishment for trespassing upon the sacred  estate  and breaking their most unforgivable of taboos. No quarter given even for the galaxy’s premier guardian of the peace.

But Rey, will not be so easily dismissed. 

Not when she is so close to finding a way through. To opening that door to the other side, wide enough for Ben to crawl back home to her.

So, she resorts to lies.

To tell the bureaucrats and officers of justice, she is here to settle the final estate of Princess Leia, the last female heir of the noble name of Naberrie line.

Rey implores the Queen, begs her, to allow two more weeks in residence to  put everything in order.

And because of her long affection for the General and Princess, Queen  Dehvasa grants  Rey  clemency.

Believes the lie, because in some small way there is a truth in it.

Ben is Leia’s  last  piece of unfinished business. That  final  page she must finish before her story ends.

In exchange for  the Queens mercy, Rey promises her presence at a gala dinner  in a few days' time. The thought alone fills Rey with dread, but she soldiers on, keen to  honour her promise.

Two weeks is agreed  to  with no further disturbances at the estate.

And peace is restored.

For now.

Rey  is hopeful  this  reprieve will buy her enough time. To allow her enough hours here to scour what little of the Jedi texts she has left to search. 

To study everything she can on the world between worlds.

Two weeks to pull Ben back to the realm of the living.

She fears there  will not be enough minutes in the day.

And yet.

She has to try.

* * *

It is through the regime's discovery of her  presence  at Varykino ,that word get out to Finn on Endor.

His frantic  holo call leaves her shame faced and guilt ridden for leaving without a word. Too caught up in her own thoughts to see how her absence has left her friends bereft and riddled with anxiety.

"Rey!" Finn’s boisterous, full tenor voice cries as he sees her.

"What in the Maker are you _doing_ on Naboo? We have all been worried sick about you!"

Rey has the  decency to at least look sheepish before answering.

"I.....I just needed some time to myself. "

"That I understand, but why not tell anyone? Why leave without a trace? I know you've been blocking my attempts to reach you in the Force. "

Finn ’ s expression is anything but happy as he glowers at her.

"Mine too. It  has been li ke pushing against a brick wall" Jannah adds petulantly somewhere offscreen.

Rey squirms uncomfortably as his dark eyes burn into hers. Feeling the hurt she given him having left without a word.

But.

She cannot pretend she is sorry to have done it , not when she is so close to securing what she wants.

“It.....it’s hard to explain.” she sighs sadly.

Finn shakes his head. Eyes misty as he struggles to understand her distance.

“Please, please just try ....I just want to know you’re okay.”

“I am, I promise you I am. But....” Rey falters, not knowing how to put into words what the last two weeks have done to her. 

Why she keeps chasing a ghost.

“Rey?” Finn begins hesitantly, seeing the turmoil on her face.

“Just speak to me, you know you can tell me anything” he adds more  evenly .

“I second that” Rose’s gentle but firm voice says as she comes into focus. Kind eyes clouded with  worry as she takes in Rey’s uncomfortable expression.

“Whatever you’re going through ....we are here for you.”

Rey pauses for a second, almost considering telling them about Ben, such is the loneliness and isolation she feels about it.

But.

They will never understand.

Cannot understand the pain she still feels.

To them, Ben Solo is a tyrant who died doing one final good deed in a lifetime of horrors.

Rey cannot tell them.

It is a terrible path and burden she must carry alone.

It is this stark realization that tears a cleaving wound in her soul.

That even if she  _ can  _ bring him back, she will never be able to bring him home.

She will never be able to go back to them in the Core cities.

“I’m fine, I promise. I’ll only be a few weeks longer” she smiles weakly, the warmth not quite reaching her eyes.  The lie stealing all sense of light from her.

The look that passes between her three friends tell  her; they do not believe her.

Yet, they do not push for more.

They do not a sk for  anything else .

“There is much more at work here than you are willing to impart” a familiar voice interjects. The shrewd, all-seeing eyes of Maz Kanata suddenly staring back at her on the Holo net .

“You seek something that the Force is not willing to give you, is that true?” she ponders aloud.

“To find something you have lost”.

Rey does not reply, conscious  that  saying nothing is as much of a confirmation as the words themselves.

The old woman nods solemnly.

The smile Maz gives her is full of compassion and pity as she sees the truth on Rey’s face.

“No one is ever truly gone” she says with a sigh “But we cannot rest our future on the promise of the  past my child.”

“The belonging lies ahead” Rey smiles ruefully and Maz nods again.

“Let us hope for your sakes, it does.”

Her last smile to Rey is full of warmth as she looks at her with deep understanding.

“I hope to see you again my friend.”

With that, the  holocall video  shift s back to Finn.

“Whatever you are doing there, no matter how dangerous, just know you don’t have to do it alone.” he urges with conviction.

“I know” Rey replies , looking at him  with the most earnest of  expressions .

“But I must.”

“You don’t have  to, I want to help. I want to...” Finn splutters, getting more and more upset.

“Please don’t come, I beg you. Please, just let me finish this on my own.” Rey interrupts, voice cracking as tries to convey her feelings as bluntly as she can.

Finn’s face crumples as he hears the hard undertone in her voice even as it falters.

“We will be here, ready to call  in  the cavalry if  ever  you change your mind” Rose finishes for him, her face showing  disappointment in Rey,  but still , somehow remaining somewhat understanding.

“Thank you” is all Rey is able to add before the call is ended abruptly.

Finn’s eyes are angry as he cuts the connection and all at once Rey feels like she has made a grave mistake.

_ You are not alone. _

His voice a distant echo in her mind, the ghost of his arms wrapping itself around her shoulders as she lets her tears fall. Trying to sooth her  cries  as she mourns the lo ss of  trust and intimacies she had, hating the distance  to her friends so very far away.

* * *

Whilst studying the Jedi texts the next day, Rey finally falls upon something of use. 

A small side note in the margin of one page, the looping scratch of Luke’s handwriting imparting a seemingly innocuous anecdote about caves upon  Exegol .

Caves that could connect this world with the next if the  traveller wa s s trong enough with the Force to withstand the journey .

A portal  on  Exegol to the World between Worlds that serves only as an entrance .

Never  as  an exit back .

A  tunnel  of darkness  between here and there so long it could take a lifetime to traverse it.

Rey is beyond doubt this cave links to another somewhere in the galaxy.

A gateway back into the light.

The Force would not allow anything else to the contrary.

If Luke found it, Rey is not certain.

She sees now  perhaps the  jedi once had the answer,  the corner of one page is torn from the tome  that she searches. The information removed  per chance  as a security measure lest the location f e ll into the wrong hands.

The hands of the Sith.

Though it does not give her all the answers she seeks, there is at least now  a slim  hope Ben will find his way out before the dark locks him in.

_ I will find you. _

Rey will not stop.

…..... 

The following  afternoon  as she reluctantly prepares for the royal gala, Rey feels a familiar presence behind her. 

“I hear you have been causing  much  trouble my young one” Leia teases with a knowing smile, her motherly ,  blue tinged face a welcome relief after Rey ’ s days of strife. Her lack of progress in finding Ben again an added strain after the deals she’s had to negotiate .

Turning on her heel, Rey envelopes her mentor in a tight hug.

“Leia” she whimpers “Leia where have you been?”

The older woman chuckles.

“Here. I am always here. You can’t get rid of me that easy”

Rey laughs despite herself, releasing the former general as she stands to her full height.

“I  have  f elt  so lost these past weeks without you ” Rey admits, eyes despairing as her thoughts drift to Ben. It is the first time she’s been able to admit this terrible truth, the words flying from her mouth a surprise even to herself.

“I know my child, but you are so close. I promise  you.” Leia says soothingly, grasping Rey’s hands in hers.

“I have less than eleven days left and I do not know what to do next.”

Leia looks at her with a pensive frown.

“You do nothing, at least for tonight.”

Rey looks back at her dejectedly.

“But Ben...” she begins.

“Ben will be okay for a few hours. He is not going anywhere, yet.” Leia sighs tiredly.

For the briefest of seconds, her usual mask of calm and optimism slips and Rey see’s the tension below.

“Do you  ever  see  Ben or  speak to him within the Force?” Rey asks, already knowing from Leia’s expression the  bleak  answer she has .

“No, he is lost to me too. Stuck half-way between now and eternity” she answers soberly and Rey feels her gut sink.

Knowing she is also Leia’s last hope to see Ben again.

“What if I can’t get him back Leia.” 

Rey  walks away, unable to look at General for a moment. Her spirit feels  almost  stripped  of  hope  as she gulps down the sudden rise of bile in her throat. The burn of her held back tears a pounding in her head .

“What if he never finds his way out?”

Leia sits upon the edge of Rey’s bed, a contemplative  look on her face.

“Then you will have to learn to let go, to let him move into the next world.”

“I don’t know if I can” Rey whispers, a raw catch in her voice as she sits beside her former master.

“You will, if it means he came be at peace. You will find the strength to end your bond if it means setting him free.” Leia responds  decisively, knowing in her heart Rey will do what is right.

Reaching out to catch the young  jedi’s hand in hers again, Leia looks deep into her eyes as she speaks.

“And if you do, I will be here to hold your hand. To see you through those final steps.” 

Rey smiles at her sadly as a lone tear breaks a path down her cheek. Nodding in agreement, knowing Leia is right.

“I’ll miss him too” she adds so quietly, Rey almost misses the torrent of grief rolling underneath.

They sit there for the longest time, sharing a moment of joint grief and despair.

“Anyway....that is enough navel gazing for tonight, you have a gala ball to prepare for” Leia says more brightly after a long sigh.

“I know, I can’t believe I even agreed to this farce” Rey replies sourly.

Totally at a loss as to where to start.

“Come now, you will have fun” Leia smiles encouragingly “  Dehvasa is a wonderful host and conversationalist.”

“Easy for you to say when you were born with natural grace and an impeccable sense of style. I have nothing more than these to wear” Rey grumbles, pulling at her unchanging, habitual outfit of white robes.

“Oh, I think we can find something else for you to wear just for tonight” Leia grins conspiratorially, rising to open one of the large cupboard doors. The space within filled from top to bottom with Padme’s attire.

“Now, about your hair?” Leia begins.

“My hair?” Rey stammers looking at Leia in slight suspicion.

* * *

Feeling primped and polished to within an inch of her life, Rey finds the gala dinner less of chore then she had originally anticipated.

As Leia promised, Queen  Dehvasa is an engaging and generous host.

Regaling her with tales of the golden age of Naboo and bravery of Padme Amidala in the midst of the strife of war..

Rey responds with stories of her own, tales of battles won, of her work since the fall of the  Sith and the wonders she has discovered during her stay at  Varykino .

The conversation flows and Rey finds, for once, she enjoys all the pomp and splendor of this formal event.

There are a few wandering male eyes that trail her path as she walks with the Queen and Rey cannot but feel her pride rise in the face of all this admiration.

It is nice to feel pretty for once, to be known for something other than her battle scars.

In the back of her mind, she can feel Ben’s own veneration at her poise and diplomacy.

The spikes of delight he feels as she refuses dance after dance from eager, handsome suitors.

Rey also senses the downright envy and anger that rolls off him as she dances with the Queen’s brother Caen.

The refusal of his friendly offer of one waltz would have been too close of an insult for Rey to justify. The junior senator is nothing but a gentleman, but Ben quietly seethes.

Despairing that he is not the one to hold her close, to twirls and guide her round the beautiful palace ballroom.

_ It should be me. _

_ One day it will Ben. _

As the late evening closes in, Rey starts to see his silhouette form in the shadows. A flash of his watchful, honey eyes, a smirk upon his lips as he takes in her beauty and the telltale clenching of his hands into fists as he  sees her minor flirtations with the other party goers. 

Rey can feel him pulling closer.

Solidifying and becoming flesh.

The vision in the corner of her eyes growing stronger.

_ Come find me. _

Rey knows she will see him if she goes to  Varykino now.

Making her excuses, Rey makes her way to the gates of the palace.

* * *

To say she is surprised when the Queen steps out of the shadows to personally bid her goodbye, is a gross understatement on Rey's part.

“Your majesty, this is a sincere an  honour !” Rey curtsies with genuine astonishment.

“No need for that” the Queen waves her hand dismissively “I am simply being a good host as custom dictates between a sovereign and Jedi of your rank.”

“I am still humbled, your majesty” Rey smiles  sweetly, a smile that quickly fades as she takes in the guarded expression spreading across the dark features of the head of state.

There is something more to come.

“I hope you have found all that you were looking for  here ” Dehvasa’s husky timbred voice sighs.

“I am sure I will when the agreed time is up, I have resolved so much for General Organa already” Rey replies genially, trying not to let her impatience to leave  show . 

“And what about for yourself?” the Queen asks, her sharp violet irises seeing deep down into places Rey is not willing to go. Immediately sensing the double meaning to her words.

“I am not sure what your implying.” Rey answers more discourteously than she intends.

“I know who you are Rey Skywalker....or who you were before you took that name.”

The Queen says bluntly, pulling at the midnight blue material of her dress as she walks closer.

“I sincerely hope you do find whatever you need here. Whether it is truly for Leia Organa or not.”

Her beautiful, regal face is pinched as she stares  severely at Rey.

“Because once the next full moon rises, you are to  leave Naboo and never return.”

Rey holds her gaze and she knows, Queen Dehvasa sees more in her eyes than even her friends do.

She sees as Maz Kanata does.

The awful truth of family.

“I am not my grandfather” Rey promises gravely, voice rough and body trembling.

“Yes, I can  see that now. You have proven as much tonight.” the Queen softens.

“That is the reason you still have your life.”

Her face smooths  again as she looks at Rey sadly, clearly distressed to show such cruelty to her.

“But no Palpatine can make roots here ever again, do you understand”

Rey’s heart stalls at the mention of the Emperors name, of her own name.

“ Yes I understand, you need not worry. I will not stay where I am not wanted” she answers bitterly. The hearty welcome she had received earlier in the day turning to ash in her mouth as she sees the truth.

“Enjoy the rest of your party, I know I had a wonderful time.”

“Goodnight Master Skywalker, have a safe journey back to  Varykino ” the Queen replies blankly, watching as Rey begins to walk away.

Rey’s rage rising with ever step.

But she holds it in, breathes through the urge to cut all those liars to pieces at her feet.

Finds her balance despite her upset.

This gala had all been a ruse, a cruel trick she was all too naïve to see.

The elite wanted her there on show to judge if she was as pure of heart as the stories had  led them to believe. 

For  Dehvasa to ensure, Rey was no snake in the grass.

No new threat to the harmony on Naboo.

And in a way, Rey does not blame her. A stranger with Palpatine blood once more in their midst, is a dangerous state of affairs.

And yet.

Rey feels sick as she takes her borrowed speeder back to  Varykino , resentful tears falling as she leaves the capital and doesn’t look back.

Not when her belonging lies ahead.


	5. Nightfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our star-crossed lovers meet again at Varykino and Rey is in for small surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for you comments on the last few chapters! It's meant a lot :)  
> Having finally watched TROS again for the 2nd time, I am even more convinced they butchered Ben's story arc at the end.
> 
> This chapter has had to be split in two and it was getting too long, the next installment should be up by tomorrow as it is 90% done.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy updates.
> 
> If you have any feedback or comments please do let me know.
> 
> Ratings to change in the next few chapters.

* * *

The closer Rey gets to the familiar gates of  Varykino , the lighter she begins to feel.

All thoughts of  Dehvasa’s parting words are gone from her mind as she leaps off the speeder.

Not even caring to park the damn thing, letting its engines splutter to a halt as it drifts to a space of its choosing.

Rey is too busy racing up the stone steps of the villa to care.

Navigating the winding path that leads to the balcony overlooking the lake. Taking each step as fast as her legs will carry her.

Leaping as many stairs at a time as her feet will allow. Sailing up the pathway as if trying to fly to Ben.

This feat of endurance made all the more difficult by the long flowing dress and ridiculously high-heeled boots Leia had insisted she wear.

Apparently, her  favourite desert battered boots would not have been appropriate for royalty!

Rey curses this decision all the more as she almost tumbles in the last few strides her legs take.

Her balance restored as she reaches the last set just in time.

Rey is breathless and borderline burning with the exertion as she pauses at the top. 

Hoping her frantic scurry has not made her appearance too hot and disheveled.

She dreads to think how awful she will smell in a few moments if she begins to sweat in earnest!

But Rey finds, as she turns that final corner to the balcony, she does not care one iota.

For what are such trivial problems when you gifted such a sight as the one that greets her.

All pain is such a frivolous fleeting concern.

No more than when she finds him standing there waiting.

Because he  _ is  _ here again. No disembodied voice in her head, but here.

Tall and gentle.

Flesh and blood.

There in the place where they had last bid goodbye.

Rey exhales loudly in relief, taking a moment to drink him in as she stands hidden in the night’s shadow.

Studying his hulking form as he leans on the sandstone balustrade, his chest rising up and down as he hums contentedly to himself.

Ben initially remains oblivious to Rey, his back to her as he quietly watches the moon start to rise above the horizon. The half-light of its crescent illuminating the contours of the gently rolling hills that surround the lake. 

Edging silently closer, footsteps masked by the sounds of the waking nocturnal creature, Rey notes there is a hint of a five o'clock shadow on his jaw.

A brush of dark stubble upon this upper lip and  ch in.

She see’s the dark undershirt he wears has become more threadbare, fraying at the edges and around the hole where once her almost fatal blow had struck him. 

The cloth disintegrating around him, unable to stay in stasis as he holds himself in this world for longer and longer.

They are small, seemingly insignificant signs of change and growth, as if time is passing for him somehow.

Rey can’t help but be hopeful as she takes in these details.

A warm spark of something filled with wishful longing and anticipation igniting in the Force between them.

Ben’s huge shoulders hunch as he finally senses her there. 

Feels her light around him.

“Rey?” he sighs happily.

Rey beams at hearing her name on his lips, running to him as he turns to face her.

Wrapping her arms around him as he buries his face in the crook of her neck.

Breathing her in.

Relieved at seeing her again.

Rey sighs as shes it all in.

He smells of lavender and star dust.

Of warm summer nights and most strangely of all, salt water and the sea.

Of freedom.

The combination is familiar to her somehow, but she chooses not to dwell on it too long as she pulls him in.

Crushing him closer.

Ben is solid, strong and oh so warm in her arms that night.

“You smell of sweet wine and incense.” He laughs against her neck after a moment.

“The Queen insisted, it would have been rude not to imbibe a little” Rey replies grumpily.

“A little? Smells like a whole bottle" he teases as he pulls back to look at her with amusement. 

“It was not” Rey moans back, eyes narrowing as she pouts up at him.

“Your merry eyes tell a very different story” Ben smirks as he runs his thumb over her lip, his eyebrow arching haughtily as the digit comes away with the telltale stain of  Varykino valley wine.

“See, that is more than one glasses worth of tannin”

Rey wipes at her mouth with the back of her hand, expression stricken as she finds even more staining from the wine on her skin. She is sure now her teeth must look a travesty.

“It must have been a very big glass” she mumbles irritably, not enjoying his teasing one bit.

Rubbing at her mouth and teeth with a scowl.

“Or three” Ben baits again.

Rey scoffs loudly as she swats at chest, Ben giggling at her annoyance. 

“You are a very rude man" she gripes, scowling up at him even as he grins back good naturedly.

“And you are a very understanding...and most forgiving woman" he counters, giving her his most charismatic smirk.

“Perhaps, I could atone for my rudeness somehow?”

The question is so loaded, Rey has to roll her eyes at him to save herself from laughing.

Yet despite his arrogance, she but can’t help but smirk as she bites back a smile.

She is unfortunately not immune to his charms.

“Just shut up and kiss me before I change my mind” Rey sighs in defeat “you childish bloody  nerfherder ”

Ben laughs again and takes the invitation willingly, capturing her mouth in his with growl of hunger so deep it makes her toes curl.

Somehow her hands find his hair as she kisses him back ardent, groaning in satisfaction despite her attempts at indifference.

Those full lips of his are a drug to her.

Ben smiles against her mouth as he guides her stand between his legs, turning them both until her back is pressed to the cold stone of the balcony. Caging her in as he deepens the kiss.

Rey gasps into his mouth as he starts to move his tongue against hers, the sensation of it still so new it takes her by surprise once more. She responds in kind and soon feels another unfamiliar sensation build within herself.

Aching and demanding a resolution Rey can’t even fathom yet.

Sensing things are moving too quickly again, Ben pulls back to smile at her contentedly.

“You look breath taking by the way.” his eyes roving up and down the crimson material of her borrowed dress.

Rey shivers with delight at his praise. A hot flush spreading on her cheeks.

“Thank you”

“A dress definitely suits you” he murmurs, eyes flashing at her flirtatiously as he traces her face.

“Don’t get too used to it, this was a onetime exception.”

Rey can’t but smile wider as his hands slip down lower on her back, coming down to rest just above the arch of her hips. The heat of his touch a burning pleasure through the reams of fabric that cloak her skin.

“Don’t be sure” Ben answers “Once word gets out about your winsome charms, I am sure many more invitations will be sure to follow.”

“Thank you for your confidence, but I am not sure everyone is as enamored with my charms as you are.” Rey teases.

“Thank the Maker for such small miracles, you remain my best kept secret then” Ben eyes shining with affection as he dips to kiss her again.

The press of their lips is short, but full of meaning.

Resting his head against hers as they part, he smiles at her so sweetly Rey almost forgets to breath.

“I like your hair like this too” he murmurs.

His hands moving to trace the braided patterns his fingers as he looks at her.

Taking in every micro expression that flits across her face, memorizing every freckle on her cheeks and the devotion he finds in the hazel of her eyes.

Reflecting what he, yet, does not have the courage to say in words.

Rey is bewildered when Ben’s hands suddenly stall, his own expression morphing into confusion as he lifts his head.

Staring at the side of her head strangely, his forefinger runs over the braid there with a deep frown.

Confused.

“Who did this?” Ben croaks in shock, his body shaking.

“What my hair? You just said you liked it” Rey spluttered with hurt.

Ben seems to grab a hold himself as he meets her eye again.

Something hopeful in the whiskey hue of his eyes makes Rey pause. As if there was something much deeper at play here.

“I do, I really do" He replies more gently this time, conscious how his coarse words could be interpreted

"But this arrangement….it’s an ancient  Alderaanian braid”

His eyes are solemn as he runs his fingers over the thick twist of hair near the flesh of her right temple 

“ And I’m curious as to who did it? I’ve only ever seen it once before in a  holovid ”

“Your mother, this afternoon" Rey says simply, cocking her head to one side as she studies him. Utterly baffled by his shaken expression.

This dazed and terrified expression does not last long, his eyes softening again as he hears her answer.

Ben lips instead curl into a smirk so cocksure, Rey is now confident there is a story there.

“What, why are you looking at me like that?" Rey says suspiciously, arms crossing across her chest.

The movement causing a space between them to grow.

Rey steps back a little further to dissect the look he keeps giving her, the way his eyes light up as he looks at the pattern in her hair.

“Nothing” he smiles again, unable to stop the short burst of laughter coming from his belly.

He lets go of her, taking a half step to the side to look out at the lake. This unreadable expression on his face.

“Ben! Just spit it out” Rey demands, getting a little impatient. Huffing loudly as she stands with her hands on her hips.

“It’s just….the pattern she picked for you…it’s.... pushing some boundaries even from beyond the grave.” Ben laughs, leaning against the railings of the balcony as Rey continues to look at him darkly.

Convinced she has been the butt of a very unfunny and unfair joke.

“Why, what does it mean?” she asks sullenly, posture defensive now as he looks back with amusement.

Ben licks his lips before he speaks again, that same smirk on his mouth.

“In  Alderaan , each variance in the twist in braid and crossing means something different dependent on the combination…and yours….”

He laughs again, eyes shining with something she can't quite place. Almost like he’s euphoric about it.

Turning back to face her, he bites his lip to avoid laughing again.

“My mother sent a message to the whole  Nabooean high court and wider galaxy that you are….involved.”

Chuckling again, his glee grows as Rey’s face falls in response.

“Betrothed... In a manner of speaking."

“What?” Rey splutters, face paling considerably.

“The braid was only ever worn by someone intended to the crowned Prince of  Alderaan . Which is….technically” He pauses as his eyes shine “.....me”

Rey’s face twists into a grimace before flushing a vibrant scarlet.

“Please tell me you are joking?” she chokes out.

“You know by now, I can never lie to you” Ben hums happily “but if you don’t believe me, look at the archives of the new Republic, or whatever they are calling themselves these days”.

“God’s” Rey groans, covering her face with her hands.

“What are the chances anyone else knew this?”

“Fair to middling” Ben chuckles awkwardly “some of those dignitaries have been around since the Clone Wars”.

“God’s! They will think I've gone mad” Rey groans again, exhaling loudly as she tries to process her embarrassment.

Reaching out to her, Ben gently pulls Rey’s hands away from her face. All mocking and signs of smugness gone from his expression.

Warmth and affection shining through.

"Only a little" he murmurs happily.

Rey is still a crimson  colour as her eyes shift to avoid his probing gaze. 

“Your mother is an interfering, cunning and very bold woman” she gripes, shivering a little as his hand slips under her jaw. Tilting her face up to meet his eyes.

“As much as I agree with that statement, on this occasion, I like her style” Ben murmurs plainly.

“If I could, I would shout it from the rooftops. Let the whole galaxy know you are mine”

Those eyes of his darken as he looks at her. A deep sadness welling in them as he once more recognizes the truth.

This is braid in her hair is the closest he’ll ever get to claiming her as his own.

Rey’s lip trembles as she realizes the same. 

“I know” she whispers back “I would too”.

Rey wants to kiss him again, to drive that lost and broken look from his eyes.

But she finds, on this occasion, she can’t.

They must both face it.

“Let’s hope my mother’s meddling, does not cause you much trouble” Ben sighs bleakly, knowing such a political statement could be incendiary to some of the old guard.

“I am getting exiled in less than 2 weeks; I doubt they’ll think it worth the inconvenience.” Rey shrugs nonchalantly, moving away from Ben’s suddenly stifling arms.

She needs to breath for a moment, to  regather herself as the urge to cry rises up within her.

Every meeting with him seeming to end the same.

That changeless sweep of elation and longing, followed by the crushing knowledge that it will not last.

Ben watches her as she settles by the balustrade, staring out into the inky waters of the lake.

The comforting beauty of the stars absent on its waters tonight.

Moving to stand beside her, Ben maintains a healthy distance between them. 

Conscious not to touch her again before she is ready.

The turmoil and pain etched on her features makes his heart ache.

He feels it too.

“Exiled? Why?” he asks soberly, his voice quiet as he stares at his hands.

Rey does not answer for a moment.

The sigh that escapes bitter as her jaw clenches, the tightening of her fists on the stonework telling him all he needs to know.

“My grandfather casts a long and nasty shadow here and Queen  Dehvasa will not tolerate any part of him on Naboo. No matter who they are.”

“Fool” Ben mutters back, exhaling loudly as his own anger rises. 

“They are all fools to treat you like that”

“I can’t blame them entirely, I have been squatting here without permission for weeks” Rey smirks sardonically, glancing back mischievously with a glint in her eyes.

“Well, yes.... that may have been a little disagreeable for them” Ben quips back with a sly smile.

“I am lucky they didn’t kill me” Rey shrugs again.

“As if they could try, you’d have them on their asses before they could even blink” Ben smiles proudly.

“Perhaps” Rey sighs more softly this time, glowing at his confidence in her.

“But I don’t think even I could survive such an intergalactic incident.”

Covering her hand with his, Ben gives her another winning smile.

“You....can survive anything. Even death”

“Not without you” 

The words slip out of her mouth before she even realizes it as a thought in her mind.

Ben’s easy expression crumples as he hears them.

“You’re going to have to” he mumbles back.

“Not yet...” Rey says fiercely, her eyes suddenly hard with a determination so resolute, Ben is no doubt she means it.

“I think I may have found something....I just need more time”

“Time” Ben repeats sadly.

“Time is the one thing I cannot promise you”.

“But...” Rey begins, silenced by the press of his mouth on hers.

Insistent and unyielding.

Not wanting to dwell on this pain any longer.

“Let us make use of the time we actually have” he murmurs as he pulls back.

Rey looks as though she will argue at first, but as he draws her closer his body, her resolve breaks.

“Walk with me tonight, let me show you my  favourite part of  Varykino ” he urges between kisses.

“I thought that this balcony was your  favourite ” Rey teases, her fingers tracing up and down the line of his dimples as he smiles at her in reply.

“Fine, my second  favourite ” he retorts “Is that a yes?”

Rey considers the proposal for a moment before nodding in defeat.

“Let me get out of this dress first and I’ll meet you back here.”

“By all means, I please do take this walk in your underthings. I am happy to wait” he jests, eyes flashing with devilry and an almost wanton fire at the suggestion.

Rey’s face flushes again, this time with outrage at his forwardness.

“You wish Solo” she scoffs.

“Maybe next time?” he suggests, only half joking. His eyes telling her just how appealing the thought is to him.

Rey’s blush deepens as she splutters, unable to form a coherent response.

“Shut up!” she shoots back eventually, storming off towards her quarters as her embarrassment grows.

“I’ll take that as a yes ” he mumbles to himself with a smile.

* * *


	6. Daybreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben spend some quality time in the mountains as they grow closer.
> 
> Rated mature for sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this installment is a little delayed, I didn't quite finish everything I needed so the chapter is a day late!  
> This chapter has been my favourite so far and one of the most fun to write as you will see.
> 
> Please note this chapter contains some sexual language and situations as well as a little bit of dubious consent....I'll let you be the judge!
> 
> The narrative keeps expanding every chapter I write and such is the reason behind the gradual increase of chapters!
> 
> I hope the conclusion in a few installments time does not disappoint.
> 
> This story has had a much better response then I thought it would and I am so grateful for all the support I have received through Kudos's and kind comments. It has already proved to be my most popular fic yet!
> 
> I am so happy it has struck a chord with you all!
> 
> There will be a bit of gap until chapter 7 is posted as I am back to work on Monday and my night time writing hours will be greatly reduced!
> 
> I am hoping to have it done by Saturday next week (fingers crossed).
> 
> If you have any feedback, let me know.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> RedCatRen

* * *

There are no stars that night as they climb higher and higher up the hills that surround the Varykino, the glow from the crescent moon the only light that  guides them as they ascend. 

The air around them is thick and heavy even as they rise higher and higher, the unexpected cloud cover above holding and radiating all the heat from the day .

Rey’s loose, white robes are a welcome relief in the surprising humidity of the forest. The sturdy grip of her desert boots upon the steep, scree littered slopes an added vindication to her outfit change.

To attempt this climb in a dress , especially in this swelter, would have been an unmitigated disaster.

In her usual attire of light robes, the steep scramble merely feels like a muscle memory to her limbs, a never to be forgotten skill gleaned in her childhood.

Ben is starting to lag behind, unable to match Rey’s rapid pace clambering up the terrain.

“I’m beginning to think challenging you to a race to the top was an error on my part” he calls after her as he tries to hide his obvious wheeze.

Pausing red faced to catch his breath as she grins back him.

“Once a scavenger, always a scavenger” she replies smugly “This is child’s play”.

“Thankfully we are almost there and this torture can end” he grouses back with a grimace, the beginning of a stitch pulling at his side.

“Torture? This is fun” Rey replies playfully.

“Maybe for you, but these heavy limbs were not made for endurance in heat like this” Ben grumbles.

Swiping at his forehead with the back of his hand as he tries to dry his brow in vain.

“You would never have survived the desert. This is practically mild!” Rey teases again, shaking her head at his melodramatics.

“Clearly not” Ben replies with an arch of his eyebrow, leaning on his knees as his breathing finally evens out.

“Believe me … this is a much more agreeable environment to climb in than  Jakku ” she muses happily, admiring the lush green around them. 

Fingers running over the  colourful petals of the summer blooms with an unbidden delight.

Lost to the simple joy of new beauty.

There's an innocence to her in that moment that makes Ben’s heart clench pleasantly. A light thundering in his chest as his stomach twists with butterflies.

He cannot help but smile.

“What?” Rey mumbles inquisitively as she notices his stare.

Seeing a wistful look on his face that she cannot quite read and fe eling the pull of something deep within him.

An ache she has felt within herself more and more lately.

“Nothing” Ben replies with a shake of his head, walking passed her with a n enigmatic sm ile.

Rey trails after him with a bewildered look, but doesn’t ask again the meaning of  it .

It’s not worth the awkward drawbacks when things are so easy and  playful between them.

She will ask him another time.

Following him as he veers off the main path and down a small trail ,  Reys curiosity is piqued as they reach a gap in the trees.

The thick line of cypress pines opening out into a  wide  clearing , the inky sky spreading out in front of them like a dark canvas.

In the distance, the lights of the Capital shine like flickering candles in the wind. Twinkling like stars amidst the hills.

It is beautiful, but pales in comparison to the treasure Ben has brought her here t o see.

It takes her breath away.

In front of them, the clearing is filled from edge to edge with clusters upon clusters of wildflowers, flashes of reds, violets and purples covering every inch of the small meadow.

The smile that spreads across Rey’s face as she spots the seasonal flurry is effervescent.

So bright, it eclipses all other images for Ben.

“God's Ben.....” is all she manages to say as she stands in awe at the little blooms swirling around. Beaming at him in the dark. 

Ben finds, the discomfort and aches he had endured on the climb up here , i s altogether worth it to see her smile like that.

“It’s beautiful!” Rey finally whispers out “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome” he murmurs back warmly, watching her silently bend to examine every new flower she finds.

Carefully touching and inspecting each plant with such gentleness, he knows she is enthralled by it all.

Curious and contented as a child.

The verve and life that rolls of her is infectious and Ben cannot help but want to stay in this moment forever.

Just watching her in this state of pure happiness.

After a while, Rey pauses and reaches out her hand towards him.

Gesturing for Ben to sit with her amongst the thickest flush of flowers.

He readily  accepts, folding his long legs underneath him as they both sit cross legged in the thicket of lushness.

Fingers intertwining  as Ben captures her hand in his.

“I don’t think I’ve seen more  colour in the entire galaxy” Rey sighs happily, eyes still shining in disbelief.

“Nothing will ever be as beautiful as this meadow.”

“Not from where I am sitting” Ben murmurs honestly, looking at her with such devotion she swears she can hear her heart thundering outside her chest. 

Pulse racing.

“You are entirely too charming for your own good” Rey laughs, trying and failing to keep the shake of nervousness from her voice.

Ben huffs back a chuckle as he squeezes her hand gently.

“I try”.

His own suddenly apprehension stealing any other words from his mind, a tension building between them.

Crackling with energy and want.

He knows if he kisses her right now, he won’t be able to stop.

And she’ll let him.

But.

He wants to  savour this time with her.

To give her this memory free from the heady, confusion of desire they share.

So instead, Ben suggests a distraction.

“How about another story, like  Tyranus and Delilah?” he proposes sweetly after the tension has stretch on too long,

Rey’s gaze softens as she nods enthusiastically.

Shifting closer as his rich baritone voice begins to unfold another tale.

* * *

After some time, the stories they exchange grow briefer and briefer.

The lateness of the hour draining of them of their memory and imagination.

Leaning against Ben as the night grows deeper and darker around them, Rey’s eyes are heavy and sleep drunk. She does not have long until the weight becomes too much and she slips into slumber.

Ben is silent below her, fingers tracing the column of her spine absentmindedly as he loses himself to his own thoughts.

Relaxed for once and unperturbed by the lull in conversation.

The Force showing no sign of separating them yet.

“Ben” Rey whispers weakly out of the blue. The sound of her voice making him start a little.

“What’s it like?”

“What’s what like sweetheart” his deep voice rumbles back.

“Where you go, when you are not here?”

Ben stiffens underneath her, the question throwing him off for a moment.

She has never asked him this before.

“It’s....hard to explain....but...” he begins softly “It’s like I’m underwater. Dark and cold, but peaceful”

Breathing deeply, his chest shifts against her head.

“I can hear voices sometimes, not the words, but the muted sounds of speech as if I am hearing them through a raging sea . Sometimes I see flickers of light, motes  of  colour above me as if there is a surface to it”

Rey mulls this over in her mind, trying to make sense of it all.

“Do you ever try move towards it?”

“Yes” Ben sighs “with every ounce of strength. But often it amounts to nothing, like wading through tar. It sticks to you. Weighs you down”

Looking down at her as she rests on his breast, his expression is stark and open as he speaks again.

“It is only ever you that pulls me free. Your presence that yanks me to the surface....and then"

He pauses again, knowing how insane this next piece of information will sound.

"When I come to, all I can smell....is salt”

“Salt?” Rey repeats, rising to look at him strangely. 

Immediately remembering the scent, the tang of the sea, she had found on his skin when they had first embraced tonight.

Saltwater.

It had to be a clue, a missing link to where the gate of the World between Worlds led.

“Salt” Ben says again “and then, I am back. Whole and corporal as if I have always been here.”

He is silent again, pondering over everything in minute details.

Desperate to understand. 

To know what it all means.

“I will find you a path out Ben, I promise you I am so close.” Rey vows, her voice thick with emotion as she wishes for it to be true.

“I know. But you cannot lose yourself trying to attempt the improbable” he replies softly. Expression grave.

Rey’s expression crumples a little as she hears the cruel reality in those words. 

Because he knows.

See's, how each time she tries to reach him during mediation, it seems to take more and more from her.

Little by little.

Piece by piece.

The effort of keeping him here close enough to feel in her mind, is leaving her spent and drained of life.

Bleeding out into the Force that same life Ben had sacrificed for her.

Withering away.

“Ben...” Rey trembles, the telltale prick of tears at her eyes.

“Shush” he soothes, coaxing her head back to his chest.

“Let’s not talk about it anymore tonight. Sleep  Cyar’ika .”

Rey starts to groan at him in protest , fighting against his enveloping  arms.

Her cries slowly fading as his big hands begin to stroke her face. Placating her even as she aches for him.

Ben kisses her forehead as he breathes deep.

“Sleep.”

* * *

The night time hours pass as they sleep undisturbed and soon the warmth of the morning sun begins to rise. 

The Force granting them amnesty as the lie entwined among the summer flowers.

Warm and contented.

Rey wakes first, seeing the first signs of dawn as it heralds a new day's approach. Rising from Ben's chest, Rey looks around and sees nothing but the gentle bobbing of the meadow flowers in the breeze. 

It takes her a moment to fully realize she is awake, such is the surprise of finding Ben still here with her.

Warm and sturdy against her side.

Huffing with delight, the morning’s watercolor of brilliant of pinks and purples ,seems all the more vivid.

Ben snuffles in his sleep beside her, utterly unaware of the significance of this moment. His brow wrinkling as he dreams of something distant and forgotten. 

Turning her body back towards him, Rey studies him in the half-light of the dawn. 

Memorizing every angle and plane of his face as it shifts in sleep.

Admiring the gentle purse of his lips as they part in dream laden breathes.

She finds him beautiful at rest like this.

Free from all concern of the living world.

The urge to touch him proves too strong for her to resist at that moment.

Rey runs her hand tentatively through his thick dark hair as she feels her heart stutter, tracing down the line of his face until her fingers graze his neck.

Ben's even breaths falter as Rey does it again. Her curiosity piqued.

Drifting lower, her eagerness grows .

Knowing what lies underneath that black shirt of his.

A groan rumbles from Ben’s chest as her palm slides down his shoulders onto his left breast.

Reys own breathing quickening as she feels the power underneath her hand. The rise and fall of his rib cage pressing more of his muscle up into her hands as she ventures further.

One hand moving after the other as she slides down his torso.

She knows deep down this is wrong, to touch him like this when he is not able to consent to it.

But she cannot help herself.

Not this morning.

Inhibitions gone as Ben groans again in contentment, Rey repeats the journey. 

Spying a patch of pale skin peeking just to her left, that same swathe of exposed flesh his sabre had pierced all that time ago, Rey is enraptured.

Running her hand over it gingerly as she sits up further to reach him better. 

Marveling at the softness of him and r elishing the energy that moves between them as her skin meets his.

Surging like electricity.

Ben is starting to move more underneath her.

The low grunts and moans resonating from his chest, indicating he likes this exploration of hers very much.

Colour rising on the pale of his face as he reacts in his sleep.

Rey likes it too, watching his response to her touch.

Seeing his fingers twitch at his sides, hands aching to grasp what they cannot see.

A new and devilish impulse rises in her blood.  The swell of a rich desire and urge to consume.

Rey wants more. Needs more.

Throwing caution to the wind, she clambers over him and balances herself on his immense thighs.

Her hands caressing down his torso. Brushing all the way to the edge of his shirt and under.

The muscles of his abdomen twitching as she presses down a little, astounded at the solid mass below.

A soft gasp escaping her mouth as his stomach and hips jolt at the deftness of her fingers. Hands reflexively moving to grip at her hips as he almost growls.

Reys own face flushes as he grinds himself up into her unexpectedly, feeling the hardness that has grown between his legs. 

The graze of something hot and throbbing against her core.

Trailing fingers up his sides, Rey feels breathless. An unrelenting lust mounting in her pulse.

Groaning as he pressing himself up and into her again, grip shifting to push upon her backside. Sliding her back and forth in a lazy rhythm. 

Chasing his own fulfillment. 

Rey is unable to hold it in anymore, this fire within her that blazes to be released.

All concern at waking him disappears as she crashes her mouth into his.

Groaning in unison as their lips meet.

Ben take a moment to respond, his mouth slow and lazy as he catches up with her fervour. 

Panting with enthusiasm, he rolls his hips once more. 

Kissing her back with such passion she feels burnt by the intensity of it. The weight of him arching up against her, sends her mind into disarray.

She cannot hold it.

Pulling back to catch her breath, Rey watches as his eyes flutter open. 

Pupils blown with desire as sl eep finally releases him into wakefulness.

Ben's eyes widen as he grasps all at once, seeing that this is no dream.

This is really happening.

"Rey?" He murmurs thickly with confusion, voice hoarse from lack of use.

“Rey... what are you doing?”

At first, she feels ashamed for accosting him like this.

For using his body and trance like responses for her own pleasure.

Rey is not brazen enough to deny anything but roguish intent, especially when she has been caught with her hands literally resting on his chest.

Under his clothes, for that matter.

"I...I..." she stutters, cheeks flushing so hot she swears she could pass out from the blood rush to her face..

And yet, Ben is far from displeased by this state of affairs.

A sleepy but bemused smirk spreading on his face as he sees her blushes and senses her excitement.

His body excites her. 

Ben knows, at that second, he has her exactly where he wants her.

Feeling his rise in interest as she shifts awkwardly on his hips, Rey blushes brighter

“I am not sure" she replies honestly, seeing no option but to dip down and catch his lips tentatively. 

She can’t explain her actions anyway.

“But I don’t want to stop" her voice purrs as she drags her hand up towards his collar bone.

Ben swallows visibly despite his initial cocky bravado, the sultry look in her eyes stealing all pretense from him.

He is terrified.

And yet, it is also elated.

Rey knows  he's been holding back on her, tempering the baser instincts  that scream at him to take  her.

To make Rey his in every sense of the word.

For ther e is a darkness still within him, t hat n ow speaks of passion and desire.

A darkness Rey welcomes with open arms.

As her eyes cloud with a shadowy lust, Ben  cannot help the nervous shake on his lips as he speaks again.

“Then don’t”

Rey's own breath shuddering as his hand lifts to her face,  thumb running over the smooth skin of her lip.

“Don’t stop" he  repeats, the deep rumble of  voice and fire in his eyes telling her all she needs to know.

Crashing into him, Rey is met head on  with a kiss that burns all doubts and fears away.

Hands moving feverishly under his shirt as  she begins map ever inch of his flushing skin.

Ben’s own hands start to wander in the frenzy, slipping down to undo the belt around her waist. Fingers sliding under the soft material of her robe until he finds what he is looking for.

The warmth radiating from her back a delectable surprise.

Rey gasps against his mouth as the heat of his huge hands meets the softness of her skin. Their width spanning nearly the whole length of her abdomen.

Coarse fingertips a delicious friction as she feels a new need fill her senses.

She aches for more.

Grinding down harder on him, as she chases something she cannot even put into words.

Ben obliges with a thrust upwards of his own.

Growling with frustration and pleasure.

All at once their clawing, desperate movements against each other is not enough.

The barrier of their respective clothes a furious inconvenience to Rey.

Ben undershirt is instantly removed with minimal interruptions to their mouth’s frenzied dance, Rey’s own following in quick succession.

It is then they pause.

Eyes meeting in a searing gaze as they ache and lust in each other's arms. Chest heaving as their breath puffs loudly in the small space between them.

This the point of no return, a final line in the sand that separates their souls.

Rey cannot deny she is terrified of what it all means, but she is also terrified of what it means to never take this chance.

Bending down, she kisses a winding, tormenting line up the right-hand side of Ben's chest to his face. 

Tracing the line of a scar she had once marked him with, a violent stroke which marred his handsome face. 

Healed to just a shaded memory now by her own eager hand.

Ben’s eyes shine as their gaze meets again.

Totally captivated by her smile as runs her hands back up his chest.

His own mouth drifting to bite gently at the flesh of her neck as she pauses.

Confidence growing as Rey pulls his head closer, groaning as their bare skin slides together.

Adding new and more intense sensations as she squirms in reply to the movements of Ben's lips. 

Her self-control wavering once more.

Ben’s hands begin to burrow their way under the back of her breast band as he covers her neck and chest with heated kisses.

Testing her boundaries as he starts to tug at the binds.

Rey chuckles at this, stalling his hands with her own.

“Not yet” she teases as she kisses him once more. 

Ben grunts in disappointment as her hands remain upon his.

Stalling his less than honourable intentions.

But, he relents.

Relaxing into her kiss once more.

The meeting of their mouths another exchange of energy and want.

Their rise and fall in tandem this time is not like those that have gone before. 

The act itself consumes and burns to spark something addictive and self-nourishing. 

It is not something conscious that Rey or Ben do as they move together. 

Touching.

Feeling.

Wanting of this passion that drives them.

It is an instinct, an impulse older than the Galaxy itself.

A force so strong that nothing can toss it asunder.

For what awaits beyond this mortal compulsion declares the chance of renewal and promise of new life.

Both their hearts are racing at this fact as they part once more.

Rey sitting back a little on his hips as she breathes deeply.

She is shaking visibly as she places Ben’s hands at her hips, pausing just a moment before pulling the binds of her breast band free.

Exposing herself to the early morning air with a shiver.

Ben’s eyes fill with wonder as she bares herself to him, mouth agog as he stares up at her.

The blush on her face spreads to her chest as she smiles shyly and Ben cannot contain his adoration.

Expression reverent as his eyes trace the soft, pleasing swell of her breasts. The dusky pink of her nipples a surprising loveliness to her already undeniable beauty.

“Gods above, you are an angel” he whispers huskily and Rey flushes deeper.

Basking in his worship of her.

He seems too stunned to move, desperately wanting to touch her there. 

But.

Finding his nerves, a little too frayed to push forward.

Rey breathes deeply, steeling herself to make the final jumps herself.

To help him and her if she were honest.

Her hands drift to catch Ben’s shaking once, when all at once.

Something shifts in the cosmos.

For there is something terribly wrong.

Suddenly Ben's expression twists into a snarl, an anger and terror on his face she hasn't seen since he renounced  Kylo Ren.

A rage at the universe that boils from deep within.

Growling as he squirms below her, h is anger dips as quickly as it rises.

A whimper escaping his mouth instead as he pleads the unseen Force.

"No  no no....please not now."

"Ben?" Rey whispers frantically, trying and failing catch his face in her hands.

"Rey...." he trembles.

There is a plunging ache in her gut as if all the air around her has been draw away.

A sonic boom of energy as they are ripped apart and Rey scrambles to catch hold of Ben again.

Fingertips latching onto whatever places of him she can reach.

Clinging on despite the pounding upon her chest.

Blow after blow, as if in they stand in the path of a maelstrom.

Rey holds on. 

And then, something pulls her down.

Latching onto her like a parasite.

Ripping her down into an empty echo.

Her body tumbling uncontrollably as if she’s falling through an endless void.

Turning and twisting in a current of rage until she loses all sense of direction.

There is nothing but dark and coldness now that surrounds her.

She is drowning in it.

Ben's voice scream in her ear.

"Let go, just please let go!"

The tendrils of her grip will not comply and she is frozen in free fall with him.

Another voice joins Ben in his pleading.

Older.

Gruffer.

But familiar.

"Rey, let go" Luke calls her and Rey manages to find the strength to loosen her grip.

The ghost of his hands wrench upon shoulders and she is pulled free.

Ascending once more to the world she belongs.

Rey gasps as she surfaces, her senses coming back to her now as she gulps in a big lungful of air.

She is back in the meadow and.... she is alone.

Ben is nothing but a small flicker of light at the back of her mind.

Stuck again on some far corner of existence. 

Nothing but the flowers are there to comfort her as she rises again.

Her remaining clothes feel damp upon skin and her hair is wet.

As though she has been submerged. 

The chill in the morning air makes her shiver as the rivulets of water trace down her back.

Breathing in again deeply, Rey smells....salt.

Tastes the bite of sea salt on her lips as she licks them.

None of this makes sense.

But she is free.

Luke is now nowhere to be found, a soft whisper on the wind as he recovers his strength. 

He too has been drained by the effort to rescue her.

Free from immediate danger and recovering quickly, Rey can focus on the unfortunate physical state she now finds herself in.

Her whole body still keyed up from the activities of before.

The activities that had been so rudely interrupted.

Parts deep within aching in a way no medical balm will be able to fix.

"Maker!" She curses at it all, her body tense with desire and frustration. 

The Force as per usual having terrible timing. 

Forcing herself to her feet, Rey dresses quickly and begins to descend the hills of  Varykino with an uncompromising determination. 

A bout of intense train the only way she will be able to burn this energy off and focus on the what must be done.

Her mind must be clear if she is look beyond that great void of this world and where Ben’s raging sea begins.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I did Rey and Ben the dirt in the midst of their alone time!
> 
> Anyone guess where Ben is stuck yet?
> 
> The next chapter will also contain sexual content, so if you don't like mild smut, be warned.
> 
> See you all asap.
> 
> -Red


	7. Sundown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally has a breakthrough as she and Ben spend more quality time together.
> 
> Excerpt:
> 
> " I don’t know what to do or anyway other way to fix this, to heal this fracture I feel without him” she replies lowly, voice shaking. 
> 
> “I have searched the Jedi texts over and over again to find the answers and....all I have received in reply....” 
> 
> Rey grits her teeth as she spits out the final few words 
> 
> “all I have been given....is silence" 
> 
> Glaring back at him fiercely, Rey can feel tears starting to prick at her eyes. 
> 
> Cursing herself for her lack of control in front of her once Master. 
> 
> “What would you have me do?” she asks desperately, turning on her heel as she swipes at her eyes. 
> 
> Luke’s expression softens as he watches her start to leave. 
> 
> "Did you ever consider, maybe you are looking for answers in all the wrong places?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... this chapter has taken a lot longer than I intended!
> 
> Partly as I had suffered some major writers block despite having outlined this installment over a month ago....but this is also due to the fact this chapter has been split in two. As with all of my stories, the word count seems to have exploded along the way.  
> The next and more adult themed part 2 of this chapter should be finished by Sunday evening and posted before Monday :)
> 
> Thank you all for your very kind responses and kudo's , it has been such a pleasure to receive your feedback.
> 
> It's seems a lot of you have some strong suggestions for Ben's current location/prison!
> 
> The narrative will start to move a little quicker for the next 2-3 chapters.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

* * *

The sun is blindingly bright when Rey finally stops to breathe again, the heat of the midday swelter making training almost impossible as she rushes through each form with an unrelenting vigor.  Ignorant to how the temperature that surrounds has grown unbearable, even as the shade  from the Cypress trees hide her from the worst of the Summer’s rays.

Her focus so single visioned, the sweat that coats her is nothing but a minor inconvenience.

  
All of her frenzied energy seems to deflate as she pauses, eyes closing to feel the balance return for the first time in hours. Air drawing deeply into her lungs as she breathes slower, allowing the life that fringes her mind to flood back into her consciousness.

Nourishing her as the fire of action dims to a warm flicker.

Rey feels Force  vibrate strongly  through her as her tumultuous emotions slowly ease into a gentle pull upon her body. Each new, slow breath more calming then the one before.

But with each passing moment, a new weariness fills the cavities left by her waning intensity.

The hilt of her lightsabre is a heavy weight against her thigh now as she powers it down, body aching as that last rush  of  adrenaline starts to ebbs away.

Rey knows her limbs will be sore tomorrow after  what she has pushed her body to do , every form she’s worked through adding more and more strain to her muscles .

And yet feels calm again for the first time since awaking in the clearing that morning.

Focused.

Prepared.

And ready to do what must be done.

Rey’s eyes open slowly as she stares off toward the  distant  glistening beauty of the lake, the water shimmering like gold in the beaming sunlight. And all at once, Rey is lost in her own blissful thoughts for a moment as she watches the gentle flow of small waves lapping upon its small shore. The lakes cool waters more appealing  at that moment  than usual , as she shifts uncomfortably in her dirty robes and the day's the suffocating heat.

How she longs to dive deep into its soothing stillness. To quell the last of the fire within her bones.

But, this is a wish she must wait to fulfill.

Her fractured attention  instead drawn back to the edge of the forest , startled by the sudden cacophony of branches tumbling to bone dry forest floor beside her.

Seeing perhaps for the first time with clear eyes what she  has inflicted upon the estate’s Cypress grove in her bursts of zealousness and puissance.

Surveying the damage, Rey winces a little. Several trees now lying in pieces  at her feet, glowing red from the heat of her sabre cuts .

Perhaps , she has  overstepped a little today

Rey is certain Dehvasa will not appreciate this open disregard for the sanctity of Varykino’s beauty when she sees the destruction Rey’s temper tantrum has caused .

It is possible training here had not been  Rey’s best idea after all.

And yet, after yesterday's  shameful  debacle, Rey cannot find it in herself to care.

The royals had shown _her_ little respect at the ball despite Rey's attempts at civility.

Still, it seems petulant to say the least.

"I would greatly appreciate it” a voice begins out of the blue “..... if you could refrain from destroying anymore of my mother's trees for the foreseeable future" Luke's quiet  sigh  drawls behind her, his kind eyes fixing her an amused stare as she turns and jumps visibly.

Rey shrieks as she sees him. Exclaiming something so incomprehensible that Luke cannot but snort with mirth at her reaction.

Her sabre bursting back into life as she instinctively moves into a defensive position, the blade swinging straight toward his ghostly face.

Her master unmistakable blue form there standing amidst the still smoldering debris with a smirk. 

_"Kriff! Don’t do that"_ she whimper, unable to help the shake in her hands as she lowers her sabre a little.

“ Kark it all Luke, did you really have to sneak up on me like that” she wheezes.

“Maybe” he shrugs back nonchalantly.

“But I do think perhaps, for now, the flora of Naboo and I have endured enough” Luke adds with a chuckle, head nodding towards her buzzing yellow sabre glancing his throat.

Rey  blinks back at him with flushing cheeks, nodding after a moment in reply with sudden realization of her threatening posture.

She swallows visible as she shuts her sabre down again.

"I'm sorry, I seem to have gotten a little carried away" Rey replies sheepishly, her hand still clutching the material of her now off-white robe as she tries to hide her embarrassment at being scared so easily.

"Clearly!" Luke muses, his eyes tracing the half dozen still gently smoking stumps Rey had unceremoniously sliced apart in her fits of rage. 

The slight smell of ash and burnt oil  drifting in the  heavy, humid  air between them .

“I assume , said bout of _getting carried away_ , is now over?” Luke asks with a quirk of his graying eyebrow.

“Yes” Rey answers blankly as she looked over to the grove again , winc ing o nce more at the destruction she had wrought upon the defenseless plants.

“Well ....at least culling the old makes way for  the new ” Luke smirks amiably.

“I’m not so sure the royal family will see that way” Rey mumbles dispassionately.

“Do you really care” Luke countered with a knowing look.

Rey grunts in reply, shrugging her shoulders once more. There really is nothing else she can add, her shame growing at her own recklessness.

"I see your foolhardy trip to the beyond has not left you in want of energy then " Luke adds dryly, his expression a touch more serious as he catches her eyes again.

Rey’s face darkens at this. Mouth tightening as her eyes narrow.

"No" Rey responds  firmly , posture suddenly defensive "I am fine".

There is a flash of discomfort on her face as she realises how ungrateful she sounds to him.

“But….I am thankful for what you did"  she adds begrudgingly.

Luke looks back at her  dourly. Blue eyes studying the shadows under her eyes, the tight lines of strain around her mouth.

Seeing the words she fights from falling from lips.

She looks troubled.

"You do not seem fine...you’re running yourself ragged my girl. You must rest" he urges gently , his blue eyes losing all their sharpness as he looks at her with concern.

Rey scowls in reply, clipping her sabre to her belt with a pout.

"I do rest. In fact .... I had a relatively peaceful sleep last night"

Luke sighs at her truculent  response, shaking his head.

"You know that's not what I mean".

"I'm fine" Rey reiterates firmly, not looking at him.

"Rey..." Luke begins again "You cannot keep doing this to yourself "

Rey exhales angrily as she wipes the sweat off her brow with a spare length of material from her robe , the  cotton crumpling in her hand as her fist clenches.

Her eyes still avoid her master’s as she tucks the  ruined cloth into the  hollow  depth of one pocket.

"You know I can't leave him there." she replies bitterly, voice awash with pain.

"I can't abandon him to that place. Not when I have seen it with my own eyes"

Luke looks back at her with the deepest compassion as she finally meets his probing gaze with her own broken stare.

"The last two times you tried to follow him, nearly killed you.” Luke sighs sadly as he steps a little closer

“A third is sure to do it and I think you know that too. Deep within you, you know this to be true Rey.”

His former student’s face pales a little, but she does not break the deadlock.

“If I die, at least I go knowing I tried everything to save him” Rey replies darkly after a long silence . 

Luke exhales harshly at this, frustration making his jaw twitch as he looks at her.

“And how is that honoring Ben? How is that h onouring his sacrifice ?"

There's an edge to Lukes voice that strikes her hard, knowing on some level he is right.

"How does it pay tribute to his life ,offering that darkness your death?”

Rey looks away shamefully, knowing Luke has a point.

This quest does nothing but assuage her linger guilt. 

But .

She sees no other option.

" I don’t know what to do or any other way to fix this, to heal this fracture I feel without him” Rey replies lowly, voice shaking.

“I have searched the Jedi texts over and over again to find the answers and....all I have received in reply ....”

Rey grits her teeth as she spits out the final few words

“all I have been given....is silence"

Glaring back at him fiercely, Rey can feel tears starting to prick at her eyes.

Cursing herself for her lack of control in front of her once Master.

“What would you have me do?” she asks desperately, turning on her heel as she swipes at her eyes.

Luke’s expression softens as he watches her start to leave.

"Did you ever consider, maybe , you are looking for answers in all the wrong places?"

Rey halts, turning back to Luke with a pensive frown as her breath shudders.

"I have  _ all  _ the sacred Jedi texts...where else would  they be ?" she shoots back, almost enraged at his seemingly  veiled  suggestion of her incompetence .

"You and I both know from experience; sections of those tomes have been removed since they were first written" Luke replies simply, face blank as he remains unaffected by her caustic mood.

"Yes and?" Rey huffed back, growing tired of this already.

"Don’t you think that information would have been kept somewhere? Away from prying eyes?" Luke answers cryptically. 

Rey’s morose expression softens as the wheels within her mind start to turn.

"You don’t believe those pages were destroyed?" she suggests with a tentative optimism.

"No....I don't.” Luke answers softly, shaking his head as he sits upon one of the cooled stumps at the edge of the forest.

“The Jedi were not in the business of destroying knowledge, they instead wanted only to pursuing it.  To use what they had learned to enrich  and  expand on what they could teach  the next generation.”

Luke pauses, watching as Rey's sullen mood starts to shift.

"Why would they destroy sections of the most sacred texts of knowledge the galaxy has even known?" 

The question he poses hangs in the air as Rey frowns in thought. 

"Then....where...?" Rey splutters, a new hope kindling within.

"Indeed where?" Luke smiles, almost teasing her as he remains ever restrained with the truth she needs. 

Enjoying the burgeoning frustration spreading across her face as she scoffs loudly with impatience.

“ Your speaking in riddles is really starting to  grow old Master Skywalker !”

Luke  ignores her jibe as his smirk deepens.

"Perhaps  then consider who would have the foresight and wisdom to retain  the knowledge you seek , to hide  it  somewhere so innocuous, no one else would ever think to look".

Rey frowns again, growing  irritated at his  obscure clues.

"Luke...." she begins, her voice a low growl.

"Rey, search your mind. Use those gifts the Force has bestowed upon you" Luke urges softly.

"Reach....and see what you already know to be true. Find the voice that will guide you."

At first, she thinks about resisting his methods.

Demanding he just tell her.

But, then she feels it. A prickling sensation at the back of her mind.

The shadow of those gone before coaxing and guiding her to give in. 

Rey feels a shiver run up her back, a gentle hand at her shoulders. Urging her to close her eyes and follow this current of energy that crackles around her in the Force.

To let her fragmented thoughts drift to the answer.

Breathing deeply, she follows as she is instructed to do. Eyes closing as she reaches deep within.

The light of something pure and peace filled pulling her forward.

A voice calls to her, beseeching her to listen.

" _Alone, you have never been young one. In a dark place we find ourselves, a little more knowledge lights our way! If knowledge, you do seek, together, the journey you must take_ "  the ancient  call tells her.

A voice of comfort she has only heard once in such strength before.

"Master Yoda" Rey exclaims as it hits her, her eyes flying open. The answer so clear now.

"Dagobah. The missing texts are on Dagobah"

Luke smiles at her proudly.

"Dagobah.”

* * *

Long after Luke has left her to her preparations, Rey remains by the lake shore.

Transfixed by the shifting colours of the water as the afternoon glare slips into gentler tones. Her thoughts drifting as she digests all that she has learned today.

Rey knows she should be ravenous by now; for it has been many hours since she had last eaten at the royal palace.

And yet, her stomach will not settle. Her thoughts so filled with uncertainty , so taken by all the possibilities and outcomes  that Luke’s guidance has given her today, her gut roils with anticipation.

Food a secondary concern in the face of what she now feels.

Her hope a faltering flame in the once empty darkness of her soul.

Joy filled that there is still a chance.

But still...she worries.

For she fears what will happen once she leaves Naboo, the risk she takes leaving the  place  she had finally found Ben again.

What if this mission fails?

What if Varykino is the only mercy she finds in the Force?

What will she do if  Ben can only exist now here, along this beautiful shore of his ancestors?

How will she live without him again ?

Because once boards the Falcon and leaves the atmosphere of this lush planet, Dehvasa will never let her come back.

Rey does not know if it is worth the cost and yet,  the one thing she does know with perfect clarity , is she only has ten days of welcome and grace left with Queen Dehvasa .

Beyond that deadline, she will cause strife and bloodshed.

And that is not the way she wants things to go.

To cause violence by breaking her word.

Then ,she will be more like her grandfather than she will ever be willing to profess.

More self-serving than she will ever admit.

_Dagobah_.

She must go.

_ But _ .

Could it really just be that simple?

It will have to be.

Sighing deeply, Rey feels the ache and strain of these past few weeks deep in her bones.

Luke is right, she is exhausted.

Worn out and tired of failing. Frustrated by what almost happened in that beautiful field of flowers many hours ago.

The heat of the day is not making things any better, the scorching temperature an added irritation to her temper.

However, this discomfort is the one thing she can fix and control in the midst of all her chaos.

Standing to her feet,  Rey strips off before she can second guess herself.

Wading into the frigid, chill of the lake with a dogged determination.

Sighing deeply as the cool water's balm her parched skin.

She walks until her shoulders rest just above the murky surface. Not daring to venture  too  far from the shoreline , especially when her ability to swim has not improved  one bit  since her days on Jakku.

The water pays her no mind, lapping gently around her lean body as she basks in the peace she finds there.

Eventually, her  racing, turbulent  mind slows as her thoughts become clear.

She will go.

Tomorrow, she will take the Falcon to Dagobah and see what answers she finds there.

Turning back toward the shore, Rey feels lighter than she has in many moons.

Happy almost.

But it is with this sudden elation she loses concentration. Her feet stumbling over the smooth bedrock as her traction is lost. 

Tripping on the uneven , stony lake  bed, she slips upon some lake weed. Ankles tangling in the unseen tendrils below the surface.

Rocks and stones displacing themselves underfootas she plummets deeper into the water.   
Her immediate panic pushes her further away from the shore as she thrashing back in fright.

An uncontrolled push of the Force sending her even further back into the cloudy depths of the lake.

The  abyss that forms underneath her all at once unmanageable and unending.

Though it is but seconds in which this happens, to Rey it is seems an eternity.

Her terror rises as she flails helplessly against the empty space below her , unable to find the coordination to thrash her body up toward the surface. Each movement pushing her further and further away from the safety.

The darkness around her disorientating.

All consuming.

Rey knows unlike the terror she had faced this morning, this danger cannot be overcome by Luke.

She is actually drowning this time, her lungs starting burn  as they scream at her to inhale.

She curses herself, curses her folly and her selfishness.

Knowing, if she succumbs, she leaves Ben alone and stuck between this living world and the next.

Alone.

Forever.

_ Ben!  _

Her mind calling out to him in desperation and almost regret.

She is in  big  trouble.

But then, she feels it.

Two strong arms wrapping around her, guiding her towards the surface as she gasps loudly in release. The air that fills her chest is an indescribable relief.

She splutters as she is pulled tightly against the wet mass of her rescuers broad body and  hauled back towards the shore. Rey feels the muscles of his chest shift underneath her as he pulls them both through the water with each measured stroke.

The reassuring feel of solid ground soon  skims  under  Rey’s feet as she is helped  up, the brisk waters of the lake now a safe hip height as it laps against her skin.

She coughs loudly, expelling the last of the water from her lungs as her heart begins to slow. Panic ebbing away as she grips at the wrists holding her steady.

Ben’s concerned; dark eyes are the first thing she sees as she finally comes back to herself. Blinking rapidly back at him in shock as his hands shift to her face, his terrified eyes checking her over as he sighs in relief.

Rey gapes at him for a second, taking in the sodden tendrils of his hair as they hang over his tense brow. His jaw taut as he studies her chest slow to an even pace, expression softening as he sees her eyes focus on him.

Watching the delight spread on her face, as her expression widens and realization dawns. 

He has come back for her.

“Ben!”  Rey exhales in disbelief , throwing her hands around his middle as she buries her head in his bare chest. Shaking despite the comfort he brings.

“Are you okay?” his voice  a deep rumble  as it vibrates through her head , his arms  wrapping around her shoulders as  he pulls her tighter into his embrace.

Rey nods, unable to speak as she fights to catch her breath. An unexpected welling of emotion choking her for a moment.

Knowing just how close she came to finding herself in terrible trouble.

“I think you are determined to give me a heart attack one day. What the kriff were you thinking of getting into the lake by yourself ? There’s a sheer drop on this side” he chastises gently, kissing the crown of her head as she shivers against him.

Unable to find it in himself to reprimand her more than that, not when she clings to him to pitifully.

Ben is certain she has learned her lesson.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.....you know before the almost drowning” Rey groans apologetically, finally rising her face to look at him with diffidence .

“I  take it you had fun?” Ben replies sardonically, gently sweeping her now  sopping,  loose hair away from her face. Her beautiful braids long gone after the afternoon’s activities and struggle in the water.

“So much, can’t you tell” Rey teases back , as she rolls her eyes sarcastically.

Ben snorts in reply, a deep chuckle rising from his chest.

Rey beams at him, blushing a little in embarrassment. The ruddy flush on her cheeks a sharp contrast to the pale glow on her face from the cold. 

She shivers a little as she stands chest to chest with him. Now starting to feel a chill in the air as the late afternoon sun begins to sink lower in the sky.

Now her adrenaline has begun to abate in her bloodstream, the magnitude of what nearly happened finally hits her. All humour leaving her face as she bit at her lip.

“Thank you...for rescuing me” 

Her voice is soft and more solemn as she stares up at him.

“You don’t need to thank me, I am just relieved to reach you in time.” Ben murmured back, running his thumb over her cheek.

“But...please don’t scare me like that again.  I can’t watch you di....” his voice breaks as he finds it too difficult to finish his sentence.  Gulping down whatever dark thought had ridden up within him.

A deep sigh erupting out of his chest instead as he tries to collect himself.

The smirk he gives her after a moment, does nothing to hide the pain rolling off him as he speaks.

His troubled eyes telling a very different story to his tone.

“You need a teacher, a good one. Just in case, you  know, you ar e struck down by the desire to drown yourself again”.

Rey smiles tightly back at him, not wanting to disrupt his attempts at levity even as she feels the pain he is trying to mask with humour.

“I suppose you are offering your services.” she muses with an arch of her eyebrow, Ben’s eyes lighting up at the suggestion.

“Maybe, if you can refrain from being your usual ornery self.”

Rey scoffed at him in reply, pushing  free o f his chest with an amused smirk.

“Me. Ornery! You are such a hypocrite!” she hisses back, laughing despite herself as she attempts to splash him with the frigid water.

Ben’s belly laugh in reply is loud and high, his whole chest shaking as he tried to twist away from her assault.

Loving the sound of her giggles as she endeavors to douse him in the face. He splutters between great whooping laughs of , _ stop _ _ it  _ , as his words not  deter her efforts one bit. Giggles rising louder.

Her splashes fly higher as they hit him square in the mouth and eyes as her hands work faster. Scrubbing at his face, Ben huffs as she hits him harder ,a mischievous  energy growing between them.

“That’s it” he exclaims with a playful growl, rushing forward to catch her round the waist as she tries to run away. Rey s hrieking in delight as he lifts her up off her feet.

“You are getting dunked young lady” he threatens lowly.

Rey shivers as his breath tickles the back of her neck, suddenly all too aware they stand completely drenched in their underthings. His bare chest so warm and firm against her back, she cannot ignore the faint outline of something else stirring in his boxers as she pressing surreptitiously into him.

“Do your worst Solo” she challenges huskily, craning her head back to catch his eye. Ben’s gaze darkens as he grins at her.

“Oh, I intend to”.

* * *

Dusk has begun to fall around them as they remain in the water, even as the temperature plummets uncomfortably to bite at their skin. And yet they pay it no mind, Ben's patience and diligence paying off as he proudly watches Rey rise up in the water and swim with confidence towards him.

Each new stroke a little uncoordinated, but making ground as she uses all her bravery to push on.

Inch by inch, kick by kick, until she stops to laugh in almost in disbelief.

"I did it!" she smiles happily, eyes shining as she treads the water beside him. Beaming with pride and innocent happiness.

The view of her kicking legs is lost to the deep, murky gloom below them and yet she stays afloat and unperturbed by the distance.

A feat that had seemed almost impossible only an hour before.

"You did" Ben replies quietly, eyes tracing her happy face. Her childlike enthusiasm so enrapturing he is lost for a moment in her smile. The sense of triumph he knows he has given her is infectious.

"I am very proud of you" he adds earnestly.

The dark reflections of the waning sun hitting the water highlight the vibrant green in her eyes as she preens at his praise. Beaming wider at him.

In that moment, she is utterly beautiful.

Even as her sodden hair sticks out several directions like a fractured halo.

And in that brief, frozen moment, it leaves Ben speechless.

Rey flushes in reply, a shiver running up her back at his intense stare. Something soft and indefinable gleaming in the evening light.

Ben's piercing gaze breaks at her increasingly violent shaking.   


"Cold?" He suggests, rubbing his hands up and down her shoulders.

"Yeesssss" she shivers again, failing to hide the effect this particular action has upon her body at his sudden proximity. Thankfully he does not notice the difference.

"Too cold for anymore lessons?" Ben murmurs, his huge hand deliciously warm against her cool cheek as he moves to her face. Heat still radiating from his body despite the increasingly freezing temperature of the water.

"Yes " Rey nods, teeth chattering loudly in her jaw.

Truthfully the ambient temperature has become too much for her anyway. A prickling burn biting at her extremities now as the evening closes in.

"Come on then, hop on" he drawls with a small smirk, wrapping her arms around his neck even as she balks at the contact. Taking her by surprise as he turns his back to her and hauls her up against his shoulders, slowly moving them through the water before she can react.

"What are you doing? You know I can make it back by myself" Rey argues halfheartedly, already shifting to pull herself closer to his body even as she protests. Her thighs resting upon his hips as she relaxes against him. His body so warm upon her skin, it's too comforting an offer to refuse.   


Ben snorts in amusement at her posturing. Enjoying the sensation of her small body molding to his so willingly despite her griping to the contrary.

"I know, but consider it reward for all your hard work."

His strokes broaden as her arms move to his chest, feeling the imprint of her mouth against his shoulder as she tries to hide her smile.   


"Plus, no point in getting cramp just to save face Rey, I'm just too tired to have to save you again" Ben adds dryly with a snort.   


"Rude." Rey grumbles back, poking him in the breast in retaliation as he huffs loudly.

Ben continues to snigger as they glide effortlessly through the lake, the edge of the shore approaching quickly in the opaque pink light of impending sunset. 

Rey no longer feels the cold now as they move gently together.   


A whole different warmth building as he moves beneath her. The sensation of his back and shoulder muscles rippling just below the skin a hypnotic torture. Powerful and yet graceful with each rise and fall against her chest. Her hands press harder upon his pectorals in reply, relishing the movement of each fibre below her fingers.

She feels lulled by it and yet, corrupted by it. Sinful thoughts turning to the early morning and moment that had almost been, simmering and aching between them.

The explorations she had dared and wanted, unceremoniously cut short.

Resting her head against his back, she feels an unbidden ripple of something thrumming from deep inside.

A new drive overtaking her thoughts.

Rey is disappointed when the journey ends all too soon and Ben gently pries her hands from around his chest.   


The loss of his body heat, another immediate and stark frustration. 

Ben does not quite recognize the fire burning from her iris’s when he turns to face her. Mistaking it for relief after the bitter cold she had endured.

"Come on" he says sweetly, looking back at her with misplaced understanding. His hand suddenly entwining itself in hers as they stand in shallows of the lake.    


"Let's get you warm".   


Rey smiles back, an altogether different heat spreading through her abdomen as they walk hand and hand back to the shore. Watching with interest as endless rivulets stream down his dark lock, winding along the pale expanse of his skin. Her eyes trace down every muscle of his chest as it shines with each new fleck of moisture, enraptured as each soft breath rises his immense rib cage up and down.

Thoughts of the catching each trickle of water with her mouth, invading Rey's mind with a vengeance.

"What?" Ben says after a long pause, brow furrowing as he finally notices her darkened stare. Rey smirks coyly before shaking her head with a chuckle.

“Nothing” she replies with a breathy smirk.

Ben continues to frown, his honey toned eyes narrowing as he tries to analyze her guarded expression. He says nothing as he sweeps down to collect his black undershirt from the rocky shore, wrapping around her shoulders like a towel, massaging it over her hair gently as he continues to look at her with interest. 

Humming softly as he surveys her odd expression.

He keeps running the shirt over her head as he ponders, drying as much of the long chestnut as the material will allow.

“Won’t you be cold without your shirt?” Rey asks after a long moment.

She is still smiling up at him demurely as he runs the shirt over her arms and shoulders after a short pause. Rubbing up and down as he watches her carefully, a wariness growing in his gut.

“No I’m fine” he replies quietly, his voice gruff.

Rey remains motionless, staring up at him with those doe-like hazel eyes so intensely it begins to unnerve him. 

"Okay, seriously what is it?” Ben huffs out with a pout, his hands falling from her arms.

“What?” Rey teases back, enjoying getting under his skin for once.

“You're looking at so strangely right now. Do I have lake weed in my hair or something?”

Rey bites at her lip as she stifles a laugh, shaking her head as she takes a step forward. Closing in on his personal space as she shrugs the damp material of his shirt from her shoulders.

“No” she answers with a smirk, arching her neck a little to look up at him properly.

“Well then why are you looking at me like that? Are you hungry or something?” he sulks, crossing his immense arms across his chest.

Rey cannot help but laugh at his question, stepping even closer as she cocks a dark eyebrow at him.

“You Ben Solo” she begins saucily, gently pushing against his chest with her hands until he starts to step backwards. Arms dropping to his side as his breath hitches.

“Are so....”

Ben moves backwards until his thighs meet the cold marble of a small stone bench, allowing Rey to guide him into a seated position as he gulps up at her. Brain starting to catch up with her intentions now.

She is hungry, but not for food.

And Ben is suddenly all to ravenous too.

Rey chuckles as she continues.

“So...bloody, karking...” 

She moves to straddle him, arms wrapping around his shoulders as she leans in closer. Nose brushing against his as Ben stutters and  his  eyes widen.

“...clueless sometimes” she whispers brazenly, grin broadening as she feels Ben’s arms wrap around her. Crushing her into his chest as he chases her mouth. 

Rey pulls back with a teasing smile as he rushes forward, holding herself just out of his reach.

Ben growls in reply, jaw clenching with frustration.

“You have to say please” Rey baits him as she whispers into his ear. Ben exhales loudly, already tired of this game before it’s even begun.

“Please.” he grinds out, voice so low Rey almost shivers in response.

Rey bites at her lip again, enjoying his growing desperation as it flits across his face.

“Okay” she mumbles against his jaw, teeth trailing across his skin as her face shifts and dips forward.

Mouth opening into a searing, heart stopping kiss as her lips meet his.

Tongues twisting together as she rises up higher to kiss him harder. Ben’s hands suddenly clenching around the swell of her ass as he lifts her higher, pulling her flush against his abdomen.

Ben is panting visibly when they part to catch a vital breath, once golden-brown eyes now an obsidian as his pupils expand.

His eyes never leave Rey as she gasps above him. Lips bruised even as she aches for him to kiss her again. Hands caressing down his chest, as her gaze flicks between his beguiling eyes and trembling mouth. Full lips twitching as he fights to control his racing pulse.

Though it is not the first time they have kissed, for Rey has lost count at this point, there is something about this exchange that feels different, like the beginning of letting go. 

Of losing a part of herself she will never get back.

But she is willing to give it to see Ben unravel like this below her.

Crashing back into together, Ben’s control is shred to nothing as she groans in reply. Her small hands twisting in his hair to angle his face, pulling him deep into her mouth. Blood pumping in her ears as their bodies press closer.

An unrelenting heat building and burning through their skin.

That throbbing need spreading as they start to move against one another on the bench. Ben tries not to flush or stutter as he feels himself getting harder and harder below her. Reacting to each arch and grinding of her hips upon his cock.

Rey simply smiles as his increasing state of excitement rises between them. Skin flaming under her eager hands.

And in no doubt just how much he wants her.

Feeling bold, she moves to nip and bite at his jaw and neck as her hand drifts lower and lower on his abdomen. Testing the edge of his damp boxers with the tips of her fingers.

Ben stiffens as his chest shudders.

“Have you ever done this before?” he croaks, voice thick with want as Rey’s fingers dip just below the elastic band of his shorts. Eyes drifting shut as her tongue skims up his collarbone to his neck. A feverish wetness forming  between her thighs that has nothing to do with  their recent time in the lake. 

Her core hot and sticky against his abdomen.

Ben's fingers grasp at her thighs as he is overwhelmed by the conflicting sensations for his attention. Clutching harder than he means to, yet, Rey is too distracted to care.

Too lost in him to register anything other than the  impulse to touch and explore.

But his question throws her.

“Have you ever slept with anyone?” Ben whimpers, begging for the answer that plagues his soul.

“No” Rey pauses for a moment, forehead resting against his shoulder. Feeling Ben relax in notable relief at her admission.

“Have you?” she asks with trepidation, finally catching his eyes again with a look of slight uncertainty.

Ben shakes his head slowly much to Rey’s obvious delight.

“No.... so  maybe we shouldn't....” he stalls as his confidence wanes, bashful all of a sudden.

Rey’s face grows contemplative for a moment ,before she answers with an uncharacteristic graveness given the situation.

“Maybe we should.” she whispers insistently, leaning closer. Eyes shifting between his mouth and glowing eyes again as her gaze grows unexpectedly desolate.

“While we still can.”

This shakes Ben out of his lusted haze a little as the truth in the statement hits him hard.

He can't say he argues with her logic, despite how despairing the truth makes him feel.

Perhaps, in this case, she is right to seize the moment.

For God's knows when he will ever have the chance to feel this again, to have her there above him so pliant and willing.

Begging him to touch her.

"Not here." he finally musters in response. Tone resolute as he shakes his head.

Rey's eyes flash in disappointment, mouth souring into a deep pout.

"Why not! No one is around and it’s at least a fifteen minute walk back to the Villa." she argues sulkily.

Ben chuckles at her childishness, hands running up her back as he kisses her softly. Pulling back before she can deepen it again much to Rey's chagrin.

  
"I’ll make it worth your while." he replies huskily, leaning in to whisper into her ear. 

"If I'm to have my way with you, I want to take my time."

Rey shivers in response, a slow grin spreading on her face at his next sordid words.

"I want to watch you come undone, again and again underneath me, to bed you like you so thoroughly deserve. Is that a fair compromise?"

Rey bites at her lip as he pulls back, nodding repeatedly as a deep flush creeps across her cheeks and chest.

His verbal intentions sending another frisson surging up her spine.

"Yes" she agrees breathlessly.

"Good" Ben smirks triumphantly, hands sliding to rest on her hips as they regard each other.

In the next moment, Rey has scrambled to her feet before he even has time to digest what has happened.

"I suggest a wager then" she says archly as she calls her off white tunic into her hand, pulling it over her body as Ben stares at her bemusedly.

"A wager?" he chuckles, eyes sparkling with something devilish.

"Yes, to help us pass the time to the villa more, _pleasantly...._ " she smirks, pulling on her trousers with a swift yank upwards.

Rising from the bench, a half smile tugs at Ben's mouth.

"Okay, I'm listening".

Rey's smirk broadens into a mischievous grin.

"Well....I suggest a race of sorts"

Her boots are soon being pulled onto her feet as Ben finally starts gathering his clothes to his person.

"What are the stakes?" he asks flirtatiously, hauling his trouser carefully over his semi hardness and toward his waist.

"You beat me back to the villa, on foot.....and maybe....I'll let you be on top." Rey answers with teasing arch of her brow.

Ben gulps as his hands stall on the button of his breeches. 

Frozen by the prospect of what awaits him in the villa.

Without another word, Rey winks at him and turns on her heel to sprint off into the grove of trees. Launching one of his boots far off into the nearby brush with a puerile snort as Ben stands there awestruck in her wake.

Cock throbbing once more at the thought of what winning will mean.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the break before the good stuff!
> 
> Reylo will be getting frisky in part 2....but there will be angst as well :(
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and gimme kudos if you are enjoying this silly little tale.


	8. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey consummate their relationship, but in the morning certain realities threaten to tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this chapter is a few days late as I had been busy and then sick :( But it's finally finished!  
> And way long and way more sexual than I had originally intended. I was going to do a like PG sex scene and then I started to write it and it got more and more mature! Oops....I wouldn't say its explicit, but it is definitely fluffy smut.
> 
> I'm not the best at actually writing smut, so I hope you appreciate the attempt :)
> 
> There is some major angst at the end of the chapter.....because lets be honest no relationship is all sunshine and daisy's. It was needed for the narrative to move forward so don't hate me too much.
> 
> Thank you all for all your comments and Kudos on the last chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy this next chapter and let me know your feedback :)
> 
> Thanks,  
> Red
> 
> Edit: sorry this was posted again as I spotted some mistakes and had to edit them.

* * *

The chase through the forest as the evening light starts to fail, is one of levity and good-natured cheating. 

Rey consistently and slyly drops obstacle after obstacle in Ben’s path as he closes the distance between them. After each incident, he howls at her for using the Force against him.

Her gleeful and somewhat truthful retorts exclaim back, he would do the same if he could and Ben cannot even dispute it.

Ben sulks as they race on, her jibes hitting a sore spot. 

But she is not wrong.

He would have frozen her to the ground, held her there in stasis, if he could still conduct the Force through him. 

Keep her there as she grew frustrated at his gaining momentum, perhaps stolen a kiss before he streaked ahead.

Maybe laughed at her thunderous expression as he finally released her after several strides.

Enjoying the victory, once he was out of range of her temper!

But for now, all he can do is quip, gripe and tease as they sprint through the trees. Grinning despite himself as he follows Rey’s giggling form through the groves and clearings. Dodging each of her playful attempts at sabotage with  humour and wit.

Surging closer and closer until they are shoulder to shoulder. Each thump of his foot through the undergrowth matching hers beat for beat.

But.

In the end.

He thinks she lets him win.

* * *

Ben had only rounded the corner to claim victory, arms held aloft when Rey collides with him, launching herself at him to knock them both back onto the bed with an audible and twinned grunt.

Kissing Ben so soundly he can't help but whimper in response.

Gods she was going to be the death of him.

_ Again _ .

"I guess you won" she whispers huskily between kisses.

"I guess I did" he returns with a pant, eyes darkening as he takes in her devilish grin. Ben's grin in reply is predatory and altogether too pleased with himself.

"And what are you planning to take as the spoils?" Rey asks coyly, already fully aware of his wandering hands as they drift down her back.

"Well..." he begins with a smirk, rolling them both in tandem so she now lies beneath him. Pining her arms down under his immense hands as he leans closer.

"You." He growls, dipping down to nip lightly at the base of her throat.

Rey shivers at the contact, bucking her hips almost unconsciously.

Biting at her lip as her breath stutters

"I see" she replies breathily as Ben nips at her again, hot mouth drifting down to kiss her collar bone.

"I suppose, it's only fair"

Her thighs wrapping around his hips as he rises up again to look at her fiendishly. His dark eyebrow cocking upwards as her legs forced him closer.

"It’s more than fair" 

Cock now throbbing with the heat of core against him and the seductive smile she gives him. His trousers suddenly seeming too hot and restrictive for the weight growing against her hip.

For a moment, all he can do is stare.

Taking in the utterly wanton way Rey is looking up at him. Feeling how she wants him as her chest rises up and down in a staccato rhythm against his.

"Ben?" Rey purrs.

He blinks back at her almost as if confused. Awed by what is happening.

A sense of disbelief rendering him motionless. 

" Hmmmm " is all he can mutter back. His speech failing him as he is momentarily overwhelmed by the sight of her flushed and willing under his hands.

"Ben?" Rey tries again, almost laughing at his total lack of composure. 

"Yes" he finally grinds out.

"Take off your clothes" she chuckles, arching up to kiss his now slack mouth.

"Right' he blushes visibly, still not moving for a moment.

"Ben?" Rey actually giggles this time.

"Yes." He answers thickly.

"Do you want me to take my clothes off too?" She suggests.

"Yes, very much" he nods with a frown, expression suddenly very serious and almost stricken by the suggestion.

"Then...." Rey begins with a coy smirk, pressing harder against his ass and forcing his hips flush against hers.

"Get off me"

"Right" he flushes brightly, eyes shifting away from her. Cowed by his own inexperience.

His hands finally shifting from her wrists as he forces his body to move. Pushing up to rest on his heels as Rey sits up between his legs. Hips still partially trapped underneath his immense form.

Ben makes no further attempts at moving, frozen again as if shell-shocked.

"Ben..." Rey says more gently, all teasing gone from her voice as she sees his unease. Feels his anxiety rolling through the Force.

"We don't have to ....if you're..."

"No!" Ben immediately growls, leaning forward as his eyes lock on hers. Looming over her suddenly with a steely glare. 

Rey shrinks back onto her elbows as the instinct to run thrums through for a split second. His fiery aggression and sudden change in his manner taking her by surprise.

"No" he repeats a little more evenly when he notices her worried expression, hand rising to her cheek in silent apology. Sheepishly backing away from her personal space, a little as he sighs.

"I’m sorry, I just ....got lost in my head for a second." he explains softly "you are...."

Running his fingers over the line of her cheek bone he smiles so sweetly; Rey instantly forgets his forcefulness as her chest clenches breathlessly in response. Relaxing, she leans forward towards him, lessening the gap between them to a hare's breath.

Ben's eyes trace her face as his pulse quickens, gaze settling on her lips before he speaks again in stuttering, almost pained huffs. 

"You are everything and so much more than I ever dreamed and. ..I. ....I... keep thinking this is all going to be a beautiful dream in my dying mind."

Rey licks at her lips before pressing against him, fingers running up from his waist as she hovers just over his willing mouth. Her cheeks aflame at his frank words.

"Doesn't it feel real?" she whispers huskily, hands tracing down his chest as he shivers.

Ben can only grunt back, an almost strangled breath forcing its way out of his throat.

Reys fingers dipped lower, finding the damp material of his dark shirt. Ben pants as her fingers touch the skin underneath and slowly inches the fabric up his torso.

"Does this feel like a lie?" She whispers, gazing up at him. Holding herself just out of the reach of his desperate mouth.

"No" Ben shivers, his grip tightening on her hips. Pulling her closer as his gaze darkens. 

His frustration growing as she avoids his mouth once again, her lips twisting up into a smirk. Feeling just how much he wants her.

"Then...." she murmurs coyly, and pushing away from him slightly "Take off your clothes"

Ben jaw twitches once or twice as he watches her move, settling further away from him to lean against the headboard.

She grins again before her arms wrapping around her own tunic to wrench it off in one smooth, effortless pull. Her breast band quick to follow before he can even process what is happening.

The thud of her heavy boots follow as he blinks at her in disbelief.

Hi dark eyes burning as his breath is stolen from his lungs, a great beast stirring in his chest as she moves to her trousers. Coaxing the buttons free as she inches them down. Her own fiery hazel eyes never leaving his as she leans back further against the wooden headboard. Enticing him forward with a lazy grin.

It's at the sight of that last thin, white strip of material lying between her thighs, that he is finally stoked into action. 

Bolting up and to his feet in a flurry of animation, he almost tears his boots, shirt and trousers from his body, chest heaving as he bares himself fully to her. He cannot help but feel a swell of pride as he watches Rey’s pupils dilated, her lip catching on her teeth as she observes him. Her eyes widening as they fall on his exposed cock.

The head of it starting to rise again at the promise of this interlude . .

Gulping visibly, Rey licks her lips as she tears her gaze upwards. Trying not to show her surprise and admiration for his proportions too blatantly. Traversing every inch of him, she scrutinizes his form as a further flush tinges her skin.

Ben’s cock twitches against his thigh in interest as he does the same to her. Gut clenching as his eyes fix upon the rosy hue of her nipples, mouth growing dry as he watches them harder in the chilled evening air.

Nerves are forgotten as his instincts take over.

Advancing upon Rey with a rapacious stride, he crawls up the bed to cage her in. Hands coming to rest just either side of her head as Rey smirks up at him.

“Better?” he growls in a lowly voice.

“Infinitely” Rey replies with another bite of her lip.

Ben does nothing for a moment, holding himself just above her as his stare scorches a path down her body. Groaning loudly, as want pumps through his veins, heating his blood as he slots himself between her legs.

His eyes drop to the gentle swell of her breasts, nipples peaking against his chest as they move closer.

His breath stutters as he catches her eyes again and blushes.

Rey’s arms snake their way around his shoulders as he stares at her, fingers threading up to grip at the hair at the nape of his neck.

Their pulses flutter as the tension grows, building until it feels as though the whole galaxy is ready to implode.

It is Ben that snaps first.

His hand slowly rising from her head, tentatively forcing himself forward to run his fingers over the column of her throat. 

Rey gulps visibly as her pulse jumps in her neck. Her pupils dilating once more as his fingers trail downwards, palm pressing upon her skin as he studies her face. Cataloging each warring reactions his touch brings.

Ben's hand is hot against her skin as it comes to rest in the middle of her chest. 

"Your heart is beating so hard" he murmurs, lips twitching upwards as he feels her breath quaver under him.

"I'm nervous" she answers honestly.

All pretension of seduction slipping from her face.

For she  _ is  _ nervous and so much more afraid than she can even say.

Baring her body to him like this does not scare her, it is but flesh and bone and the outer shell of her being.

But the look in his eyes, that expression that promises possession and fire, it terrifies her.

The way he touches her so tenderly, with more care and reverence than anyone else has in her entire life, it makes her frantic.

Immobilizes her.

For she knows, to give herself to him when he looks at her like that, with such desire and vulnerability, speaks of something so much more than one physical act ever would.

Perhaps it would have always overwhelmed her, even if they didn't know they were acting on borrowed time.

Losing herself like this, even to Ben who knows her better than anyone else, feels like falling.

Plunging into an abyss with no safety line.

Who will be there to catch her if Dagobah proves to be a lost cause?

How will she live?

But still she jumps, with nothing but faith and the Force to guide her.

Ben's expression softens as he feels her sudden surge of uncertainty. His hand moving back up to her face as he cups her cheek.

"Don't be afraid, I feel it too" he whispers gently. 

Pulling her hand down to press against his chest. The beat of his own heart against her palm a thundering, uncontrolled rhythm.

Rey's smile in reply is so sweet, he cannot but feel every microsecond of it in vivid detail. 

Ben remains just above her, hand soothing her skin with the lightest of touches. Waiting for his pulse to slow, to catch his own breath before he losses himself completely. 

"Kiss me" Rey whispers up at him, arching her face closer. 

Ben huffs with a bemused smile, blinking rapidly as if he is still disbelieving at what is being offered. A half smile twitching at the corners of his mouth before he dips and captures her eager lips.

Groaning as her tongue slips passed his defenses and plays against his with almost halting caresses. Coaxing him deeper into her. Pushing him to drown himself in her skin and sinful moans.

Her legs wrap themselves around his hips as she forces him closer, hands running up and down his chest. Darkness stirring between as unconscious twitches of their hips jolt them, each brush of their bodies grinding down upon the rush of blood southward.

A friction of movement growing more purposeful as a pleasure coils through them, panting and pressing harder between meeting of lips.

Ben grunts as he moves his mouth to exhale hotly again the apex of her neck and shoulder, lips sitting against the soft skin there. Pressed with little pressure as he tries to catch his breath. A shudder ripping down his spine as Rey circles her hips, rubbing her dampening core again the growing hardness that sits loosely against her hip.   


"Gods" he groans before biting down on the exposed swath before him before, soothing the immediate ache with hot, lingering, kisses. Rey tenses below him. Tightening her hold on him as she squirms beneath. A strange pleasure building from the rough action of his mouth.

The moan of his name on her lips is an added torture as her fingernails dig into his shoulders, meeting violence with violence.

It’s all he needs to chance a more direct trailing of his fingers down her body, brushing her skin as his palm settles around her left breast. Clutching gently as his thumb rubs against the tip of her. Marveling at the weight of her in his hand, the silky softness of her skin delicious upon his palm.

Rey shudders heavily but does not protest. 

She pulls him closer, forcing his face back to hers. Kissing him with such a force, it takes him a second to respond and recover.

“Do it again” she whimpers against his mouth.

Ben readily complies, repeating the action to feel her nipple grow harder between his fingers.

He repeats it again and again, switching between each side as Rey’s breaths grow erratic against his mouth. Hips now grinding up against his with no restraint, seeking a relief in the friction that never quite comes.

Ben is unable to stop himself from driving up into her, his cock slipping between the damp fabric at the apex of her thighs as he finds himself so hard it pains him to even have such small separations between them.

Pining her hips down with one of his hands, he shifts himself away to relieve the ache a little. The precipice of his release approaching way too fast for him to ignore.

Rey protests a little at their uncoupling until his head drops to catch one of her breasts with his mouth, his other hand slipping under the barrier of her thin pants to press upon her heat there.

Preening at the wetness he has caused.

Rey’s hands fall to cling at the bed sheets as his tongue and fingers move in tandem. One tracing her nipple as the other gently explores the nub which insists upon his attention.

She bites at his shoulder as she pulls his head closer to her skin, encouraging him to take her deeper into his mouth.

Ben’s teeth tighten upon flesh just above her bruising nipple, sucking at the skin there and groaning as he feels her lower lips quiver at his attention. Back arching as he dips lower, testing the resistance to him at her  centre . His forefinger easily sliding in and out as she pants against his shoulder. 

Humming loudly as he reprises each intrusion with more confidence. Feeling her grow closer and closer to falling apart.

Rey cannot take the anticipation much longer.

She urges his mouth upwards as she starts to pull at her pants, temporarily tearing him away from her as she removes the final material barrier. Kissing his mouth ferociously as her knees fall wider apart around him as he draws him closer.

Ben’s breath is stolen as his cock slips between the bare, welcoming lips of her. Catching upon the warm wetness that has formed. Rey’s eyes are wide open in shock, staring up at him in awe as they part for a moment.

Helplessly enthralled by the weight of him there, throbbing and hot against her core. So close to the place his fingers had been only seconds before. Rolling her hips, the head of him trails back and forth upon her as they both shiver at the contact.

Awe filled at just how good it feels.

Ben aches for more.

It would almost be too easy to slot the head of him in past her breach now, to take her breathlessly with all the desire that pumps through his vein. Forgo his conscience to the dark thirst that itches at the back of him mind, urging him to possess her.

But then, during all this hormonal, inner chaos, he looks at her.

Really looks at her.

And sees how small and delicate she seems below his immense body.

Innocent and guileless as a lamb, she looks at him with such wonder.

And....he cannot do it.

Knowing he will hurt her, even if he is gentle now.

So, he shifts again reluctantly. 

Settling his hips away from her, he winds his hand down to draw upon her lips once more. Coaxing his way down until her center readily gives way.

Rey frowns a little in reply at his distance but does not object as his forefinger is quickly followed by another to fill the void his body heat has left. His thumb caressing upon her clit as her breath quickens.

Ben’s feather light movements on her mound contrasts so thoroughly to the even, direct movements of his fingers inside her, Rey jolts a little against his hand.

That building of tightly coiled tension within her rises once more, hips now moving in time to his ministrations.

“If you’ve never done this before, how do you do this so well?” Rey groans, catching his lower lip between her teeth as she kisses him. The slow rhythm he finds between her legs making her arch and tremble. Her hands digging into his shoulders as she kisses him desperately.

“I watched a lot of  holovids as an adolescent, misspent youth and all  that ” he answers with a chuckle as his breath chuffs upon her lips, all humor suddenly dying in his throat as he feels Rey’s small hand slip down to trace a teasing line along his neglected cock.

A deep, rumbling groan pulls from his chest as her hands close around the length of him. Momentarily interrupting his pace as his fingers still.

“Me too ....I had too many hours alone and nothing else to do” Rey sighs into his mouth as a devilish smirk forms, pumping her hand up and down on his slick cock with a slow twist. Enjoying the sensation of him thrusting into her hand artlessly.

“I liked to imagine myself to be the recipient of such attention one day. That some kind, handsome man would come and make me theirs.”

Ben whimpers as she speeds up, the thumping rhythm of his racing pulse beating against her hand.

“That I would lay claim to them as I brought them to their knees. Maybe I will always be waiting for this.”

All these words are  nothing, but meaningless guff and Rey knows it even as they fall out of her mouth.

But the teasing serves it purpose as her words stoke something dark and jealous within Ben.

He is stunned into silence for a long breath before his face clears and he growls possessively. 

Grabbing her hand from the length of him, he pins the offending limb over her head and moves his fingers deeper and deeper into her. Crooking them against  her walls as he picks up speed.

Pressing harder and with less mercy to her inexperience.

He sets a punishing tempo as growls into her neck, holding her down as he takes what he wants.

“You were only ever meant to be mine” his words spill out desperately and almost without meaning to.

But Rey quakes at the implication.

Ben is startled out of his trance as she clenches around him almost immediately.

Her whole-body tenses all at once beneath him, as her orgasm crashes over unexpectedly.

A long moan follows her cry as she swats at him to stop, his hand instantly recoiling as if burnt by her touch. 

Rolling off her to watch in fascination, Ben colors as she losses herself to the wake of her climax. Chest crimson as he tries to catch his breath.

“ Kriff ” is all Rey can say as climbs down from her high with a glazed expression. Heart pounding erratically as she tries to come to terms with what has happened.

Ben is similarly bemused, not quite understanding what had come over him.

His right hand now resting on her hip as he traces a slow circle on her skin.

“Are you okay?” he musters almost apologetically.

Rey’s eyes finally fix on him, her gaze almost confused as she looks up at him.

“Am I okay?” she repeats hesitantly before breaking out into a beaming smile.

“I don’t think there are words to explain how I feel ....That was....unanticipated. But...quite lovely”

Her smile is so warm, Ben can’t help with feel a flutter of elation in his gut.

“Oh...” is all he can reply, unable to find the words to say anything else as he blushes, an embarrassed pride filling him. Happy he has been able make her smile as vibrantly as that.

Even as he winces at how he had pushed her there with such domination.

Rey watches him for a moment, noting his bashful but adorable smile as he stares back at her with quiet admiration. Finding as her high ebbs away, she is far from ready for their attempts at coupling to be over.

Rising, she pulls him flush to her body. Relishing once more the solid, firm heat of him against her chest.

“I do know Ben Solo, that I don’t want to leave things there for tonight” she whispers archly, her thighs finding his hips once more. Ben’s eyes widen for a second at her forwardness, his expression darkening as a suggestive smirk replaces his initial stupor.

“Oh really” he rumbles in reply “what have you got in mind?”

Rey bites her lip as she cocks her head at him.

“Oh, I think you know exactly what I have in mind”

Her hands run up his back as she kneads her fingers into the shifting muscles of his shoulders. Curving her hips up into him until the head of his length brushes upon her once more. The movement of their bodies catching them momentarily at the edge of her entrance.

Ben groans as he resists the urge to follow suit, to thrust those final inches into the heat of her core and make her his.

It takes all his willpower not to just give in.

He smiles at her instead, running his hand down her side.

“Maybe I do or maybe I just want to hear you say it” Ben teases back, dropping to press a searing kiss to the edge of her shoulder. He rises once more to look at her with a taunting smirk and dramatic arch of his brow.

Rey scoffs in reply. Shaking her head at his smug expression.

“Come on, I’m waiting” he growls playfully, hand skimming up her torso as he fleetingly runs over the flesh of her dusky nipples. His path back up to her face tantalizingly slow and deliberate.

Rey shivers even as she scoffs at his cockiness, unable to help the begrudging grin that breaks up at him.

She sighs in defeat.

Leaning up, her lips are pressed upon his jaw as she whispers in his ear.

“Make me yours, in every sense of the word. Take all that you claim you want.”

Ben shivers as her breath tickles his cheeks. Pulling her hips closer to his as he growls against her neck.

“I  _ can  _ take whatever I want” he reiterates hungrily.

“Yes, you can” Rey replies with a breathy tone as his lips start to move upon her neck. Teeth nipping as he rolls his hips upon her, his now aching cock a heavy throb upon her ready lips.

Desperate to find relief in the safety she offers him.

Guiding his mouth back to hers, Rey whimpers as she feels him line himself up with her entrance.

Testing and readying himself to break that last barrier between them.

Ben pulls back a little to look at Rey, the smile he gives her is so gentle it throws her. The softness of his eyes so at odds with the covetous words he had spoken just moments before.

She feels he wants to say something, to memorialize this moment with something more than lust and action. 

In the end he says nothing, the words sticking tightly on the tip of his tongue.

But his eyes.

The reverent way he gazes at her, tells her all she needs to know.

Tells her how he loves her.

They both gasp and tense as he finally enters her, eyes locking as they share the sensation of being joined. The initial pinching discomfort quickly passes for Rey, a different baser sensation rising as she  collapses back against the pillows of her bed. Adjusting to the solid, all-consuming way he starts to fill her.

Any pain she feels is overshadowed by the rightness of this moment.

“Wow” she murmurs closing her eyes.

“Are you okay?” Ben manages to strangle out against her shoulder.

Rey hums softly in agreement as she shifts a little, feeling every small twitch and drag upon her as she moves. Settling into the mattress as she finds the spot that feels best.

Her breath catching as she opens her eyes and meets Ben's soft, enraptured smile. Tensing sharply on him in reply without quite meaning to.

The moan that erupts his mouth, tells her he does not mind this action one bit.

Shivering with a grin, he relishes the movement of her muscles around him, the heat from her  centre an unimaginable heaven.

He searches for her eyes again, seeking the warmth of her hazel before he pushes slowly forward. Seating himself fully within her.

Rey gasps softly, her hands scrambling for his arms as something new and wholly salacious blooms within her. Eyes never leaving him as she angles her hip upwards.

Pulling him deeper until there is nothing to separate their hips, the weight of Ben now resting flush to the mound of her pubic bone.

Every inch of them pressing together as the both pant in tandem.

Ben stays still as he waits for her to adjust, fully aware of the tight squeeze this coupling has become. And yet, they fit together like to jigsaw pieces, clicking into place.

A roguish delight spreads in his chest as he watches her, a slow, easy smile spreading across Reys face. An almost bashful excitement flooding to her eyes as they shine up at him. Hands sliding over his chest and around to paw at his back again.

She loves it, being joined like this.

Shifting her hips again, she silent coaxes him to move. Pulling herself forward and back on his cock with small, drawn out movements. Dragging him into a breathless kiss as she presses her heels into his backside. Ben is more than happy to oblige, the urge to rock forward becoming too much to ignore as she seeks her own pleasure.

He sighs into her mouth as he draws back his hips slowly to thrust back into her deeply. Gasping at the pleasure that licks up his spine at the friction between their bodies.

Pulse jumping at the immodest moans Rey makes against his lips.

It feels better than he ever thought possible.

The rhythm continues, nothing but heated pants and groans breaking in the silence of the large bedroom. The slap of skin on skin like a cacophony of sin as their pace slowly starts to pick up.

Rey is vaguely aware of the sound of the bed groaning beneath them as they rock harder and harder, the bouncing of the headboard against the wall as Ben drives faster and faster into her. Her focus too taken by the tight coiling of pleasure coming from her  centre and the pressure of Ben’s body upon her hips. The base of him brushing up and down her clit so deliciously she is close to screaming.

Ben is not far behind her; each thrust is a concerted effort to avoid letting go too soon. Truthfully, he never imagined lasting this long in the first place, but with the sounds he is making Rey moan, he is reluctant to give up yet.

It is Rey that breaks the deadlock, a pressure releasing from the bottom of her spine and down into her deepest parts. Toes curling as her whole being spasms, whimpering into Ben’s neck as she mouths at skin. Holding him closer to muffle her cry.

And it is in that moment as she comes hard upon him, a curious thing happens.

The tendrils of her mind arching out into the Force with no control and finding buried deep within the parts of this universe she cannot yet fathom, a small spark of him.

Of the strength he once knew.

This essence separate, but all so familiar.

It is in that second and through their joint bodies,  a snapshot of their bond flickers in the air around them.

Ben’s hips stop.

Because he feels it.

He feels it all for the first time in years.

Their full connection.

It is like he can see again, even just for a moment.

The Force thrumming through him, letting him deep into Rey’s mind, sensing every small touch upon her skin.

“God’s” 

How he’d missed that.

“I can ..... ” he begins in disbelief

“...you’re there in my head.” Ben laughs, pressing kiss after kiss to her face.

Mouth pressing deeply to her lips as he feels the Force echo the sensation across the border of their skin.

“I know, I can feel it too” Rey smiles, running her hand through his hair.

“You’re there, it’s like you never left”

Ben doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he feels the  energy, he once lost vibrating through him.

So overwhelmed he cannot even speak.

Instead his thrusts restart as he chases the end he aches for.

Each push and pull reverberating between them, drawing Rey back up again.

Their shared thoughts and touches intensifying the experience, doubling every flicker of pleasure.

It takes only a few further thrusts before Ben chokes out a groan as he comes. Rey shivering at the sensation of him throbbing within her, dragging out another unexpected climax from her.

Their bond vibrates again as they stay in this momentary bliss, a rush of memory and emotions flitting in the space they are afforded.

They know it will be brief, but still they cherish it.

They  savor every shared sensation and feeling until there is nothing but contentment.

Even as it ekes away, the warmth and heady pleasure it leaves behind sustains their elation.

Entwining themselves together as their breath returns to normal, sweat drying on their skin.

Their separation is brief as Ben turns upon his side and pulls her in to his chest.

“I hope I live long enough to do that again” he murmurs mordantly against her neck.

“Who says I’ll let you” Rey chuckles in reply, playing with the dark curls at the back of his head.

“ One can only live in hope" he grins at her,  raising his head to press a kiss to her nose.

“And wait on baited  breath for the fair lady to grant this poor man mercy.”

Rey rolls her eyes at him, but smirks despite herself.

“You are such a dork"

Ben chuckles as he regards her with deep affection. 

“I know , but I’m your dork. "

Rey sighs loudly before breaking out into a reluctant  smile.

“Please just shut up and kiss me, and maybe, just maybe I’ll think about letting you touch me again"

* * *

It is still dark when Rey wakes the next day, the last of the night stars fading into the navy ink of the sky as  the world begins to stir again.

The air is stifling hot around her with the heavy weight of Ben resting upon her back. Long arms wrapped around her chest as he holds her to him possessively. 

Rey’s whole-body aches as she shifts to gain some breathing space, her training and the nights activities taking a heavy toll upon her limbs. The dull throb between her legs reminding her of the many times she and Ben had overindulged in the delights of each other.

And yet ,it is a pain she is more than happy to endure as the memory of those heated pleasures come back to her in torrid flashes and thrums of desire.

But for  now, she must ignore them.

For there is much to be done before the dawn breaks.

Gently extracting herself from Ben’s sleeping grip, she steps out into the mild morning air. Looking back at his relaxed features and bed mussed hair, there is a small pull in her chest. A doubt flickering in her mind.

What if this quest doesn’t work?

What if this is all she’s allowed to have?

It is a future too harrowing to even contemplate.

Sighing, Rey pushes these maudlin thoughts away and sets to readying herself to leave for the Falcon.

* * *

Ben begins to stir as Rey starts to gather her remaining clothes into her travel chest, blinking up at her in confusion as he fixes on her face in the gloom. 

“What are you doing?” he mumbles quietly, deep voice thick with sleep.

Rey stills for a moment, wishing she’d had the strength to tell him yesterday. Hating herself for the disappointment she’s about to deal him after the beautiful night they’d had.

“I’m packing” she replies bleakly, watching with a heavy heart as Ben’s soulful eyes widen and become stricken at her answer. He sits up, chest tensing as he tries to understand.

"You're leaving?" His voice full of hurt as he watches her move to the other side of the room, gathering her spare boots into her arms.

" I have to in a few days anyway, why postpone the inevitable" she says more coldly than she means, wincing internally at how these words will sound.

Ben’s stricken features twist darkly, jaw tensing and chewing on his growing upset.

"It's a week Rey, two days ago you told me you have over a week."

Again, the words she needs seem to fail her. Hurtful phrases tumble from her mouth as she tries not to break.

"What does it matter, the answers I thought I'd find here....have not come to pass" her voice is brittle as she avoids looking at him. Ben scoffs bitterly, unimaginable pain growing in his chest

“So this is it then.....you’re leaving me behind. You’re giving up.”

Rey hears him rise to his feet as she distracts herself with rearranging the already perfectly aligned collection of her clothes. Hating the pain she hears in his voice.

“After everything, now you are giving up.”

She cannot take it.

“I am not giving up Ben” she hisses back, turning on her heel to find herself chest to chest with him.

His usually warm brown eyes an almost onyx as he burns with barely contained anger.

“Then why Rey? Why are  you leaving?”

Rey licks her lips before she answer, eyes shifting as she tries to form her explanation.

“Because I have to Ben, I cannot save you here. I need to go ….”

"What if I can't find you again?" He grinds out as he interrupts her, his anger barely masking the despair she finds in his voice.

“You will, I know you will” she lies, reaching for his face. Ben jerks away from her touch, eyes desolate as he steps back.

“You don’t believe that” Ben growls, creating more space between them as he throws up his defenses.

" You will or... I will find you" she promises, stepping forward to try reach him again.

“How?” 

Ben’s avoids her again, his hands clenching in and out of fists as he fights to control his temper.

"Luke thinks Master Yoda had missing texts stored on Dagobah. That the pages could have the answer to where you are, inscribed inside them" Rey says plainly, watching as Ben’s shoulder slump a little

"Luke" Ben repeats bitterly, his frown deepening at the mention of his uncle’s name.

He has not forgiven him.

Even in death, he will not let it go.

"Yes, Luke. And if he _is_ right... It would wrong not to try." Rey replies firmly, hoping Ben will see  a sense in her actions. That he will realise she is not trying to abandon him.

“And what if he _is_ wrong?” Ben grinds out  again, posture tensing as he runs his hand through his hair.

"What if this is all we have? These next few days."

Rey can feel the pin pricks of tears in her eyes before she speaks, hating herself for the pain she is causing him.

“I love you Ben.... but I can’t waste another lifetime waiting to see if something will happen, waiting to see if, and when you show up. I cannot live like that again. “

Rey doesn’t even  realise she has said those three precious words to him, until Ben’s frown breaks and a shocked but despairing look fills his face.

“You love me?” he whimpers quietly.

“Of course, I do.” Rey answers softly, closing the distance between them.

This time Ben doesn’t push her away, allowing her hands to catch his own as she presses a kiss to his knuckles.

“I always have.”

As Ben stands there looking down at her with the deepest sorrow, his bare chest heaves as he fights between the instinct to cry and rage at the world.

He chews at the inside of his cheek before he finally looks away. Unable to stand the hopeful look in Rey’s eyes.

He aches to say it back, to open his heart.

But he finds in the face of this unimaginable pain, he can only shut down. 

Push her back, even as his heart pleads inside to hold her close.

Ben cannot lose her like this. 

But then, even before he can even try to distance himself, she breaks through the ice threatening to encase his heart.

Her voice broken, beseeching him to listen.

“This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I am terrified, but I am doing this not despite, but  _ because _ __ I love you this much.”

His eyes are sharp as he tries to stop the tremble on lips, his grip tightening on her hands.

Leaning forward, he rests his forehead on hers as he shudders.

"Please don’t go, please just stay here.....for now"

His pleading rips at Rey’s heart. Crushing the flickers of hope that she can salvage this moment.

Her tears obscure her vision as she watches him fall to his knees in desperation. 

Begging her not to do what she knows is right.

Her voice is barely above a whisper as she refuses his appeals.

"No Ben, I  can't. Not when we can have a lifetime."

His face falls as his own tears glisten in his eyes.

  
"Please..." he whimpers "we can have these last few days”

"It’s not enough. What happens after?" Rey sobs “What happens if I’m right and I wait too long to make it work?”

Catching her breath she sighs sadly before speaking again.

"What do I do if we never meet again?"

"You let me go." Ben replies so quietly, Rey almost doesn't catch it. 

Inching forward, he pulls her hands to his mouth, kissing her knuckles as she had done to him.

Ben looks up at her with such bittersweet affection, Rey’s resolve almost breaks. 

She stays there for a long moment, digesting his words as tears trail down her face in long silvery rivers.

She cannot stand it.

Stepping away from him, she shakes her head. Spitting out her next words with such ferocity, it surprises even herself.

"Let you go? Let you go ..... have you lost your damn mind?" 

There’s a deep frustration and rage building within her as she looks at Ben, his face so impassive she almost wants to slap him for even suggesting they part forever.

"I have seen the void that you  endure, and I will never stop looking for you Ben”

She storms to the far side of the bed as she gathers the last of her belongings, throwing them into her trunk as her rage burns.

“Gods! What happens when I die? Do you really want to languish in that limbo until the end of time? Because that's what's going to happen if I don't find you!" 

There’s an edge to her voice as she speaks, an acid of pain and terror that spews as her hands clench into fists at her sides. So overcome by her own anger she can feel the Force convulsing in the air around her darkly.

"No" Ben replies after a long moment, gaze falling to the cold, stone floor in front of him. 

"But it's what I deserve for what I have done"

Reys heart breaks at this admission, anger deflating into understanding and sympathy.

Closing distance again, she kneels and catches his face in her hands. Pulling his eyes up to meet hers.

"No one deserves that Ben" Rey trembles as she runs her thumbs over his pale cheeks.

"No one."

Pressing her mouth to his, hot tears spill down her face from his cheeks.

She feels Ben whimper at the contact, his arms pulling her in close.

Grasping to whatever part of her he can find while she still holds him here.

"I have to do this Ben, please understand.” she sobs again  “I cannot  _ leave  _ you there”

Running her hands over his face, she looks deeply into his eyes.

“But if this is our last moments together, please don't let this be my final memory of you."

Exhaling loudly, the last of Ben’s anger seems to slip away. His dark eyes warming to the amber of  Corellian whiskey. Pressing her face between his hands, he kisses her so sweetly Rey breaks all over again.

Welcoming his mouth with a sigh. 

"Okay." He whispers against her lips.

* * *

Each caress of their mouth is desperate and frenzied, pouring every unsaid thing between them into the movement of their lips as they kneel upon the cold, bedroom floor.

Neither of them letting go despite the time that passes. 

Eventually Rey rises and takes Ben back into bed with her. Determined not to let things stay so broken like this between them. Holding him close as they seek comfort and ownership in each other's bodies.

Their joining hurts this time, an aching, anger in their coupling that adds a violence to the whole endeavor. 

Rey's core still not recovered from the force of their times the night before. 

But the frantic movements of their desperate thrusts together seem inconsequential. The irritation never paining her as much as the thought that this could be it, that this could be her final memory of him if the gamble does not pay off.

Rey cries this time when reach the end and Ben holds her tenderly. Whispering words of love to sooth her upset, kissing her cheeks as he chases her tears away. 

For the longest time, they say nothing after that, Rey resting on his chest as she  dreads the rising suns insistence of the new day. 

As she begins to slip into a light, dreamless sleep, Ben utters one last parting phrase for her to cling to.

“I love you too Rey. More than you will ever know.”

Those words balm her soul as she slips under, smiling at the knowledge those will be the last words on their time in Naboo.

She sleeps until the midday sun is high in the sky.

Alone this time as she wakes.

He is gone .

* * *

The Falcon seems almost smaller as Rey steps into the familar hold for the first time in weeks, a stale, metallic smell greeting her.

It smells like home.

_ “Friend”  _ D-O warbles at her feet it spots her approaching. The little droid jolting and spinning as it beeps in greeting.

“Hi D-O, I hope you have been behaving yourself whilst I was gone.” she smiles gently as the droid spins a happy little figure of eight around her.

“ _ D-O good _ ” he chirrups as zips off towards the cockpit.

Rey snorts as she follows the small synthetic creature, foot steeps heavy against the durasteel.

“ _ Adventure now? _ ” he asks, waiting for her by the  captain's chair.

“Yes D-O, adventure now” she replies solemnly, flipping on the old freighter and taking one last look at Naboo.

Melancholic to leave this place of beauty so soon, but ironclad in her decision now to leave.

Sitting into the worn material of the Captains chair, she sets the course for Dagobah as the ship rises.

The forest below becoming more and more of a shapeless landscape as they ascend.

Taking one final glance at Varykino she swears, just for a moment, she  see’s the small lone figure of Ben standing by the grand balcony of the villa.

Standing stock still in his all black clothes, dark hair shifting in the wind.

Watching her go.

Saying goodbye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo....our poor space babies have been temporarily separated, but it won't be for long.
> 
> I'm hoping to have the next part up soon, but I am mega busy for next week or two.....I;ll try my best to update asap.


	9. First Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's time on Dagobah proves to be difficult as Ben's absence shakes her resolve.
> 
> Warning: minor descriptions of injury and blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I am so incredibly grateful for the response this story has gotten, it has exceeded all my expectations! All the kudos and kind comments have been such an honour. I love getting them :)
> 
> Please keep them coming as they help keep me motivated and getting chapters completed quicker.
> 
> Though...based on the comments, I seemed to have made a lot of people emotional in the last chapter..sorry I tend to be a little melodramatic sometimes!  
> The next 2 chapters are relatively lighter on angst.
> 
> This chapter as per usual has had to be split as ....it was getting too long. Part 2 should be up by next weekend.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this next installment and how this tale is unfolding.
> 
> Much love,  
> RedCatRen

* * *

The Falcon is quiet.

Almost painfully too quiet, as Rey and D-O drift  steadily across  the galaxy  towards Dagobah.

Time out here seems to almost run backwards as Rey watches the seconds tick by on the  cockpit's chronometer. Taunting her with each slow, solemn shift of its numbers.

There is li ttle  out here that  distract s  her for long, the journey woefully uneventful for once. No issues for her to resolve, s ave some minute complaints from the freighter ’ s old temperamental systems. 

It has only been two standard galactic hours since Rey left  Naboo and yet it felt like an entire day. The empty void of space in front of her, a torturous monotony that she must endure for at least another three hours.

The long-standing damage the ship had endured during the war with the First Order, has left the Falcon’s light speed capabilities completely unreliable in almost all cases.

A borderline dangerous endeavor and strain on the hyperdrive, excepting the few, short occasional jumps Rey is brave enough to chance.

And so, it is because of this,  Rey  has been grudgingly  f orced to take the long way to Dagobah. 

No sense in getting herself into trouble out here alone with nothing with but a tiny neurotic droid to help her.

Especially for the sole purpose of satisfying her impatience. 

Rey's already had to settle more than a few groans and  rattles from the  ancient ship ,  even it’s most basic operations seem clunky after  it had sat idle for almost 3 weeks on Naboo .

Testing the engines now beyond the very basics ,  seems like a  gamble  too far in this journey alone .

Instead, she must just endure  the  tedium f or a few more hours.

It seems a fair swap in the grand scheme of things.

However, after a while the sheer monotony of just sitting there on her ass, proves just too much for her sanity.

Sighing heavily, Rey sets the ship to autopilot. 

There's nothing to be concerned about much out here in the depths of space.

All the  navi scanners show nothing immediate that will require her notice. 

The endless black and occasional, distant flash of far off dwarf systems are the only sights that rise to her attention.

It adds little to her attempts to ward off boredom.

But, it's really the silence that's getting to her most. The lonely absence of anything in her head that's catching on her throat. 

_ Ben _ .

Rey had always known this was bound to happen in the short term, this stretching of their connection until he became just a distant echo in her thoughts.

The  red  tether of fate that binds them , pulling and fraying at the edges , but still holding strong in some small part of her.

Safe and well protected.

Insulated against the forces that keeps them apart.

But it is this loneliness that accompanies her decision to  leave t h at hurts most, the immediate sense of loss  like a hammer blow in her  heart .

Striking  like a n anvil, each  swing hard and true.

Rey cannot ignore  it.

That thud of anguish deep inside.

She needs to do something,  _ anything _ , to help her forget even just for a short while.

Rising to her feet,  she doesn’t think but just moves on instinct.

D-O trundles with curious beeps as  Rey  stalks her way to the engineering bay, hands itching to  stay busy . 

Searching for a task to distract from the pain in her chest.

" _ Friend fix _ ?" The little droid trills curiously, spinning around her feet as she pauses by the main hatch.

"Yes, I'm going to fix the water pump." Rey replies coarsely, reaching for her tools.

She knows full well the Falcons outdated water pump is a lost cause. The parts she needs stopped being produced over  40 year cycles ago-  _ not that this overly concerns  _ _ her _ .

Time and time again, life has taught her she is a  dab hand at improvisation . 

It is simply a plus that the job is tricky enough to keep her  occupied.

At least until she reaches the main orbit of Dagobah and this painful tedium can end!

Pressing on, Rey starts the delicate job of removing the access door, enjoying this new problem to be solved as her eyes run over the mess of pipes that greet her.

This will be fun.

* * *

She is halfway through taking the pesky sanitary system apart, when the sound of her neglected  hololink starts to shrilly call in the main hold.

At first, Rey contemplates ignoring the call, not in the mood to have another tense conversation with her friends. 

Their last interaction a few days ago been less than ideal.

But.

Given the circumstance, she could use the company.

Grunting loudly, Rey rises from her hunches and wipes her oily hands on her robes. Streaking the white materia l  with the mess from her hands.

Not that sh e particularly ca res. 

Her robes are in desperate need of clean anyway.

The  hololink keeps warbling louder  the closer she gets ,  its plain screen flashing as it awaits her answer.

Plopping down into the well beaten cushions of the booth, Rey power s  it up with a resigned sign .

A brief hum droning out before both  sides connect. 

“Hello child” a familiar voice croons soothingly as the picture shifts.

Maz Kanata’s shrewd, all-seeing eyes softening as they settle on Rey’s face through the hologram.

Her smile is amiable, but guarded, as she studies Rey with interest.

“From what I have heard, you have begun another clandestine adventure….”

Rey’s face pales a little ,  the  sudden pl unge in her  gut an  automatic reaction  despite t he immediate  smile that spreads on her cheeks at seeing her friend.

“Hello  Maz .” Rey replies demurely.

“Its good to see you again so soon"

The ancient  Takodana native snorts, a  skeptical arch of her brow showing Rey she doesn’t quite believe her.

“Your recent lack of communications tells me otherwise child.”

Maz’s voice is genial as she chastises Rey, a sparkle in those dark eyes as she smirks. The young Jedi shifts in discomfort, guilt pulling at her for the neglect of their friendship. 

Rey sighs uneasily as she tries to form a suitable response.

"The days seem to have gotten away from me lately, I am sorry if I have made you, or anyone else feel... forgotten."

Maz smiles at her more softly.

"There is no need for an apology Master Skywalker. We are all entitled to our time alone, so never be ashamed for trying to fulfill your own desires.”

Maz studies her again, eyes tracing her face as she  continues.

“We each have our own destinies after all.”

Rey ’ s expression lightens as her guilt lifts a little.

"Still....I will be the first to admit, I shouldn’t have left without a word."

" Psssshh ….if you hadn’t, Finn would have insisted in coming after you like a lost puppy, and I take it, this is a journey you had to do alone?"

There’s something glinting in Maz’s eyes as she looks back at her, a secret smile that tells Rey she knows more than she is willing to admit.

It unnerves her for a second.

"Yes" Rey replies plainly, mind ticking over the mystery take is starting to take shape “ it was better I did this alone.”

"But these travels of yours, they don’t end at Na boo?" Maz muses aloud.

Rey shakes her head slowly at the question. 

"Then where is it you’re going?”

Rey licks her lip as she pauses, an unease flashing through her before she repl ies .

"Dagobah. I'm going to Dagobah."

What little is left of  Maz’s wispy, white eyebrows lifts as she looks back at Rey in surprise. She adjusts hers glasses, leaning forward to study Rey's face.

"Dagobah....” she mumbles as if in shock “ Now why….”

Maz pauses, the wheels turning endlessly in the old pirates  mind until her eyes widen further. 

Leaning forward, her voice is almost awestruck as the next phrase spills from her subconscious. 

“You intend to find Yoda’s missing Jedi texts."

Reys expression darkens, suspicion rising in her blood as her friend's words work their way across the cosmos.

"You know about them?" 

Her question is loaded with distrust, a sneaking  doubt in her  voice that  Maz has intentionally left  her i n the dark.

It’s is now Maz’s turn to look sheepish, her eyes dimming almost infinitesimally. Shamed at how her admission sounds.

"There have always been  rumours and hearsay throughout the years, tales about a lost Jedi treasure...hidden away amongst the swamps of that old Jedi master." her husky voice answers “Most thought it as a nice legend, a hopeful story to pass around with our fire whiskey, but it was never anything real enough to make the long trip to that humid, slimy backwater of a planet”

Rey regards her carefully, debating whether or not her friends words appease the anger growing within her.  Maz sighs as she sees Rey suspicion, her final words on the matter, a cruel twist once more upon her spirit. 

"When Yoda’s hut washed away twenty years ago, no one really spoke of it again."

Rey tries not to be disheartened by this new piece of information, that little glimmer of hope within her dimming with these new details. 

"Oh..." she sighs unhappily.

"But then again" Maz continues, a flicker of mischief in her eyes "there were those who thought Master Yoda would have known better than that, never deigned to hide such important artifacts in the first place anyone with half a brain would look."

Something passes between that remains unspoken, a sliver of optimism amongst the setbacks  Maz’s story has thrown up.

"I suppose not" Rey replies more brightly.

"If it were me, I would hide those texts somewhere no one would ever find them."

"Indeed"  Maz muses with a half-smile "and therein lies the conundrum. Where I wonder?"

"I suppose that's for me to find out” Rey smiles back enigmatically.  Maz now smirks as she takes in the young Jedi's attempts at subtlety. 

"Well …..y ou and Ben Solo...."  Maz states so casually , it takes Rey a full second to realize what she’s just sa id.

Reys breath immediately catching in her throat. Choking her as the muscles contract.

" Wha ..a.. att ?" 

Her words stuttering into mumbles as she panics. Blinking rapidly in shock.

There's no way she can even to attempt to lie to  Maz .

The old woman gives her a smug, knowing grin as Rey struggles to find anything but nonsense to fall from her gaping mouth.

She utterly fails.

"It seems Ben Solo is not as dead as the Galaxy has been led to believe. ”

Rey gulps as her cheeks flush. Her breathing erratic as she tries to quell her terror.

“Do you deny it?” her friends voice is  even as she studies the flush on her  face.

"Rey? Do you deny it?"  Maz pro b es again.

Exhaling loudly, a ragged  _ whoosh  _ leaves Rey’s lungs as she forces the words out.

"No...no I don't"

"You need those texts for him. Don’t you?"

Maz is gentler this time as she leans forward. Rey nods as her eyes drop down, gaze falling to the surface of the worn freighter table.

“Yes.....I need them …..  so I can repay him the life he once gave me”

Maz’s brow furrows at this.

“So he isn’t...”

“He died  Maz , I never lied about that. But....he’s not.... gone either.”

"But if he’s not living or dead, but that would mean..." 

Maz looks stricken as she digests  Reys morose expression. 

“God’s” she whispers to herself, falling back into her chair as she joins the dots in her mind.

"Rey..... if you venture into the World between Worlds, you may never leave it."

"I know, Maker I know, but what alternative do I have?" Rey replies sourly, eyes hard as she meets Maz’s sympathetic gaze.

"My child, only you know the answer to that question. But eventually, a choice will have to be made."

Her answer strikes Rey as all too cryptic considering the circumstances, as if she is privy to knowledge Rey cannot yet fathom.

A silence falls between them temporarily as Rey tries to push away the resentment that has risen inside her. The poisoning whisper of betrayal she tries to push away.

She knows  Maz should not be the brunt of her anger and frustration. 

"How did you know? How did you know about Ben" She says quietly, breaking the lull with a frown.

Maz sighs as she leans back again.

"The same way I knew you had fled  Naboo ."

Rey looks at her curiously, her frown deepening.

" Dehvasa . The Queen told me"

Rey's eyebrows fly almost to her hairline in surprise, a scoff escaping her mouth. Her thoughts race in complete disarray, as another bitter rage threatens to break through.

"WHAT?"

"The Queen and I are old friends ..... and it was I that convinced her to grant you quarter on  Naboo. I bartered....information...to allow you time at Varykino . "  Maz sighs guiltily, a sense of regret evident in her low tone. 

"But...but ….she and I discussed it back and forth for hours before she agreed to let me stay." Rey splutters.

"Not before she and I had come to an arrangement. That...debate you had, it was all for show, to appease her critics at court. She already knew she was going to let you stay until the new moon".

Reys jaw tightens, those feelings of resentment peaking as she mulls over  Maz’s candid words.

How dare she meddle like that!

In truth Rey is not sure how she should feel in the wake of these revelations.

Is it right to feel anger at being fooled by the Queen?

Is it right to feel betrayal for  Maz’s interference and lies by omission?

Rey is unsure that she is wrong to feel  a rage for all the time wasted alone, terrified she would never find the answers she needed? 

All the while, her trusted and longtime friend was withholding information such as this.

"How did she know about Ben?" Rey demands coldly, all geniality gone from her voice.

"She kept eyes on you. Though she agreed to leave you in peace, she was still suspicious of your presence there.....you are, after all...a Palpatine, if only in name” Maz replies quietly.

Rey’s jaw clenches as she listens, trying to stay levelheaded and refrain from saying something she could regret.

“Then Ben was spotted with you on the grand balcony one night. That’s when the surveillance really started"

Maz has the decency to look shameful as she unfolds the tale. Rey’s eye narrow in reply as she fights to control her righteous anger. She has been made to feel a fool. 

"So you knew about him when you called last week. She'd already told you."

Maz nods as she sighs.

"Yes. She told me you been spotted with a tall, dark haired man, close to the royal chambers. A man most likely to be a lover by the way you had behaved together."

Reys face flushes in embarrassment, her anger cooling a little as she squirms in discomfort.

"My suspicions as to who this mystery man was, were all but confirmed when  Dehvasa sent me a  holoimage of that  Alderaanian knot in your hair.”

Rey curses Leia’s boldness again as she cringes internally. She knew  those pattern of braids were bound to come back and bite her in the ass.

"Why didn’t you say anything  Maz , if you were had your suspicions, why didn't you say something....or try help me?"

"And alert Finn, Jannah and Rose to your plans? Is that  _ really  _ what you wanted, when you  _ begged  _ for us to leave you be?" Maz snaps back. 

Rey exhales harshly, anger dimming again as she reasons there is a logic to her actions.

"No....I guess not." She replies sorely.

"Furthermore child”  Maz sighs gently “I did not want to encroach upon whatever happiness and joy was beginning to bloom between you both." Her voice is full of empathy this time as she looks at Rey with a deep affection. 

"I have felt the sadness and dejection you carry,  _ alone ….. _ for so many years. I have seen that sense of loss and dimmed light in your eyes ..... ”

Maz smiles wistfully as she traces Rey’s troubled face.

"Now...You look like my Rey again. How could I interrupt that happiness with idle words and the silly myths of old pirates?”

The last embers of Reys fiery anger are snuffed out as she sighs once more. Understanding growing as her upset wanes. 

She cannot hold it against the  Takodanian , not when these lies by omission were perpetrated in the name of her own happiness. 

"  Dehvasa didn't fear me did she, the banishment, it wasn't just about me being a  Palpatine ? " Rey says quietly. 

Maz shakes her head slowly. 

"No....not entirely...she more feared what would happen if the Galaxy discovered any trace of  Kylo Ren upon  Naboo , the questions that would inevitably fall at her feet."

Rey’s expression twists as the reality of the situation makes her stomach turn with anxiety. It all made sense now, the barely concealed contempt and lack of welcome she had been offered.

The Queen had known all along.

"She knew, in her heart, he posed no danger to her or anyone else on Naboo....for honestly the only dark ripples in the Force the Queen had felt, had come from you, when she'd confronted you at the gala...that fiery rage you hid” Maz  pauses, her shoulders sagging as she breathes deeply.

“ Dehvasa had always been more afraid what Ben’s presence may mean for the future of her planet. You had to leave before the Republic found out”.

Rey, despite herself, grudgingly accepts there is a modicum of truth and sense in her action.

How would it have looked to the new senate if the Queen had colluded in his escape from justice?

It was a quandary she too had wrestled with.

"Why weren't you afraid then, why are you not afraid now?" Rey asks, eyes sharp as she looks deeply into the old woman's eyes.

Maz frowns as she thinks, searching her mind for the right words to express her thoughts of the matter.

"Because  Kylo Ren is dead. Ben Solo is not.....Leia made sure of that"

"But  he's not alive, not really." Rey replies sadly.

"He is real enough to make your heart hope again. I see it in your eyes Rey."

The young Jedi cannot look at the  holo for a moment as an unexpected tear starts to form the corner of her eye.

"I....I..." her words stutter as she finds herself unable to reply.

“I know the love you hold inside for him has caused you sorrow” Maz murmurs tenderly, her voice a warm embrace across the galaxy.

“But this love, it is also a beautiful thing to be nurtured. To be treasured it even when things seem impossible."

Rey shudders as she smiles weakly, a mournful shine in her expression. 

"You know I can never come back if I somehow manage to pull him home. Finn, Poe, Jannah .....even Rose.....they won’t be as understanding about this as you are." 

Maz removes her googles as she sets to cleaning them for a moment. Pausing as she considers her response.

"If they cannot find it within themselves to offer Ben even a small chance at forgiveness, they are not the people you think they are."

Replacing the thick glass on her face,  Maz looks at Rey thoughtfully. 

"Every one of them has a checkered past, a time where they did not act as the heroes they are now. Each one them has a story they wish they could forget. Perhaps....it is time you told them Ben's?"

Rey nods solemnly, knowing the wise old woman is right.

The burden of carrying his story alone, of allowing the galaxy and her friends to curse and spit on his figurative grave for all these years, is a heavy duty that has made her weary. 

It has been a painful silence she didn't have the strength to break, until now.

Rey knows, she must speak the truth or let herself be destroyed by it.

No one is beyond forgiveness if they are truly  repentant .

Somewhere in the distance a low shout sounds on the other side of the  hololink . 

A scurry of activity bursts to their attention, as short shuffles of footsteps thunder by Maz’s door. More hushed voices rise as a child's cry pierces the door.

"Maker save me..."  Maz mutters with a smile.

"Mika has set his bedding on fire again, no doubt playing with his training sabre where he  shouldn't . That padawan is a disaster..."

Rey grins as she rolls her eyes, already picturing the precocious little  Togruta’s face as he sulks in shame. 

"Don’t let Finn go too hard on him, he is only a boy"

"A boy that is way too clever for his own good"  Maz smirks .

"Tell him, I will bring him back a new  holoprojecter if he behaves better for Master Finn." Rey replies cheerfully.

"You spoil him Rey.....but I will pass on your message."  Maz concedes with a soft smile.

"How are my other students? Have Kane and  Deka been coping without me on  Chandrilla ?"

Rey feels a twinge of guilt at her own question, truthfully, she had not thought of her small school of students in weeks. Too lost in her own concerns and selfish drives to consider what her absence looks to her loyal students.

She has virtually abandoned them for almost 3 weeks.

But Rey is more than confident her two senior padawans can handle the small gaggle six of younglings in the short term.

Even if most of them are under the age of seven.

She had at least spoken to Kane on and off these last few weeks, conscious a total radio silence was beyond the pale.

"I hear that they are doing well, but missing their master terribly. Jannah went to help them a few days ago."  Maz informs her slyly.

Rey winces further at this. 

Jannah has her own padawan  Tuda to take care of, which is a big responsibility in of itself when molding young,  impressionable minds. She usually has her hands full dealing with  Tuda by herself, let alone filling in for an absent Master of six small, highly demanding novices.

Rey’s guilt grows further as she thinks of the time Jannah must also spend away from her newest batch of former  stormtroopers . 

Each new disbanded patrol is a monumental task, which Finn and Rose must manage  alone now until Rey returns.

Gods she has created a mess.

"I must find some way to thank her " Rey sighs unhappily.

"I'm sure just your words of appreciation will be enough"  Maz sooths with gentle smirk.

Rey looks skeptical but doesn't add anything further. 

There's a further crash and sound of scampering, small feet outside  Maz’s door as the young  Togruta knocks against the smooth wood.

"  Meht Maz ,  Meht Maz ....may I come visit you? Master Finn is being grumpy" the high, sweet voice calls.

Maz exhales loudly before hollering back at Mika .

"Yes child, you may come visit me."

Turning to Rey again, she sighs once more.

"I fear we must part now my friend, best to say goodbye before that rap scallion catches sight of you."

Rey laughs lightly. 

"It is probably best, or he will never let me go."

"Goodbye Rey, I wish you all the luck the Gods allows." The old  Takodanian smiles, a bittersweet tone in her voice.

"Thank you my friend, it will not be long before we see each other again." Rey replies earnestly.

"If you need anything, you know where to find me"  Maz says softly before disconnecting the link. 

All at once the renewed silence presses upon Rey as she sits alone in the hold. That old creeping loneliness quickly overtaking her again as she ponders everything  Maz has told her. 

It is a lot to digest and does not help with her growing apprehension.

Thankfully D-O drags her very quickly back to reality.

_ "FIX?" _ the little droid at her feet trills up at her expectantly.

" _ Friend ? Fix again” _

"Yeah fix" Rey mumbles despondently as she ambles back to the water panel reluctantly. 

* * *

The first thing Rey notices when she finally reaches Dagobah, is the intense layers of endless fog that seems to roll from every inch of land, the atmosphere heavy and difficult to navigate.

Somehow, she manages to find the one small stretch of solid ground wide enough to land the Falcon amongst the soupy gloom and  criss-cross of emerald lagoons.

Dark, shapeless creatures scurry for cover as the old freighter shudders into place.

Yellow eyes watching in the shadows as they scowl at their new visitor.

The second thing Rey notices is the oppressive heat, the damp humidity an issue even before she opens the heavy gangway down to the planet's murky surface. 

Sweat starts to form on the back of her neck even as she gathers some small supplies into her knapsack.

Rey is used to heat, her years on  Jakku a veritable trial by fire in terms of survival in extreme temperatures.

But this heat.

This cloying,  claggy ,hot damp in her lungs, leaves her almost breathless for a moment. 

Each inhale filling her with a rich, wet loam that sticks in her throat. 

The pervasive smell of decay and stagnate water that accompanies it, almost makes her gag and retch.

Rey has always loved aquatic landscapes and lush, rain beaten terrains, but this place, it stinks of rot and mud.

Stepping out of the Falcon, Reys foot is immediately submerged as she missteps into a hidden pool, her boot flooded with slime and silt as she sinks further into the mess.

Rey hates it here already. 

" Bantha Poodoo " she grumbles to herself, trying unsuccessfully to wrench herself from the boggy hole. Fog swirling round her ankles as she curses loudly in the quiet glade.

" _ D-O stay _ ." Her droid warbles worriedly, racing back up the walkway to the relative safety of the freighters hold.

" _ Safe inside _ .'

“Fine...stay here while I go search,  _ alone _ !” Rey grumbles loudly, shutting the boarding ramp after the droid. Squelching loudly as she finally frees her foot from the marshy ground and heads towards the unknown wilds of Dagobah.

She does not walk far before the unknown territory strikes again; her balance lost as she trips over a tangle of unseen tree roots. The persistent fog hiding each hurdle like a thick blanket.

Rey skids across the ground, wet litter and churned up clay, sticking to her as she lands face first into the sodden ground.

“Perfect, just perfect” she shouts out angrily, barking at nothing but the trees and occasional small amphibian as she rages loudly on the forest floor. Swiping at her face and chest, she tries unsuccessfully to clear the mess from her eyes.

If only Ben could see her now, he’d roar his big stupid head off in laughter at her failed attempts to explore this wretched  place !

Picking herself from the thick, sticky mud, Rey stomps onwards. Determined to make at least some small headway this afternoon, even though it seems  almost  futile at this present moment.

Trudging on, even as her balance is shaken more than once by the treacherous quagmire, Rey eventually finds a rhythm.

Thankfully it only takes her another half an hour to reach the remnants of Yoda’s hut, Luke’s old coordinates proving indispensable considering the relatively featureless marshland that surround this waterlogged plsce. 

Though she is certain what she seeks will not be found here, his hut it seems a reasonable place to start.

However, it all appears to be in vain, as Maz’s tale had been entirely correct about the hut’s condition. The interior of the Jedi master's hovel now washed of all traces of habitation by the elements and motions of the native fauna. 

Nothing but the shell of his home remains. 

Not that Rey is entirely surprised; it has been over thirty years after all.

Still, Rey wagers there may be a clue to be found here.

Crouching down, she crawls her way through what was is left of Yoda’s narrow door, cursing as her hood catches momentarily on the rotten wood and clay.

Yanking hard, she tumbles forth into the deserted, dark space with a groan. Hearing the telltale scurrying of small creatures as they flee around her in the gloom.

Lighting her sabre, Rey looks around the small, cramped space as it is bathed in the yellow glow. She stays on her knees as she studies what is left of the hut, her head already tipping the low, damp ceiling as she hunches down.

The Forces is a low hum around her, the weak throb of Yoda’s signature joining hers as it vibrates from the walls. The soft whisper of welcome greets her from the ghosts that reside here.

The light shines brightest here, she can feel it.

A contentment spreading through her as energy continues to flow all around her, soothing her worries even as the hut offers nothing more than forgotten trinkets and the broken pieces of life once lived.

Rey shifts the remains of a small cooking pot in her hand, studying the simple grey shards as her thoughts turn to its former owner. Feeling the loneliness that still resides here, lost memories bleeding through as her fingers trace over the worn grooves.

_ Alone. _

_ Afraid. _

_ Ashamed. _

There is nothing else to be found in this room, no coup de grace or  lightning strike of  revelation .

Nothing but things lost in t ime , the rest of the hut a mess of decaying litter and the scuttling of insects that pay her no mind. 

Sighing in resignation, Rey lets the last shards fall from her hands as she pushes back on her knees to sit on the slimy, damp floor.

“Come on, give me something Yoda” she whispers to  t he shadow in her own mind. Beseeching those who have gone before her as she closes her eyes in deference .

They grant h er one small  mercy and for once the call is answered.

Around her, the  pulse of the long dead master surges for a moment, a feeling of something powerful pulling at  the fringe of her consciousness .

A sudden but soft noise draws her attention to the farthest edge of the hut, eyes searching a deep curve steeped in shadow

Leaning forward, Rey yelps as she meets the curious yellow eyes of a small  Nudj , the young lizard regarding her with growing fear as it shifts upon its nest. Crouching low as it protects the precious contents within, warning her back a with low chirrup.

Several eggs sit underneath the gentle creature, the ivory shells of each baby shining brightly in  the light  of her sabre.

“I’m sorry”  Rey whispers to the young mother apologetically; conscious she is intruding upon her home.

The  Nudj’s emerald  coloured head cocks to one side as the watches Rey, blinking slowly as her tongue flicks out. Tasting the rancid air for any signs of danger.

Rey tries to radiate calm and light as the lizard studies her, hoping her presence does not cause the young mother to bolt. Rey will not be responsible for the abandonment of each innocent life that lies below the wary creature.

However, the Nudj simply chirps softly as it relaxes its pose, eyes softening as she blinks.

The mother knows there is no danger from this strange woman that  stares at her.

Her squat, stocky body turns as she determines Rey is of no threat, a long tail sweeping on the detritus beneath her as she moves.

Rey’s eyes widen as she spots something shining from the muck as the lizard moves further into the gloom. A thin, dull metal chain hidden under the soil, calling to  her, as a strange, semicircular pendant hangs at one end.

Picking it up, Rey realizes with a start, it is a key.

To what, she already knows.

“Thank you” she quietly whispers to the  Nudj as she turns to make her way back out into the  swamp. 

Determined to leave the young family in peace.

* * *

The evening light very swiftly begins to fail not long after Rey leaves Yoda’s hut.

And with  the fall of dusk, comes a torrential but tepid rainstorm. Soaking her almost completely as the lukewarm shower douses her again and again while she fights her way along the sodden ground. 

The deluge becomes so unrelenting, she sees fit to call it a day when the weakened sun dips quickly below the murky horizon. Her feet so mud caked and body so cold, pressing on will not do her much good.

Knowing there is very little point in catching cold and losing a whole day in exchange for a wasted evening out here in the dark. 

Even still, Rey is frustrated and miserable when she finally make it back to the Falcon.

Her clothes in utter ruined and  well loved  boots in an equally sorry state.

D-O mistakes her for an intruder when she first rises from the boarding ramp, her appearance so altered by the weather, the small droid wailing in distress until he finally recognizes her soothing urgings of calm.

Stripping to her underwear, clothes shoved into a corner to tackle later, Rey ambles to the fresher with a heavy sigh. Failure a bitter pill to swallow.

The water is blessedly warm for once as it runs it’s course around her tired body. Standing  in  the steady flow, her  shoulders relax  as  the hot stream beats against her skin and hair.

The tray at her feet finally running clear as the last of the sticky mud dissolves and washes away the worst of the day’s disappointments.

Unfortunately, her bad mood and bad temper do not dissolve along with it.

Long after she has dressed again, clad now in some darker grey robes, Rey still feels restless and lacking  distraction . 

The  holofilms she plays serve only as a temporary relief, the silly  stories of  Faz and Moray lighthearted enough for her to forget  just for a moment the mess she find herself in. Stuck on this slimy, unforgiving planet with no clue  of her next move.

Her lack of focus and general senses of  despondency is partly the reason she find s h erself eating portion  after portion .

Three full packs  consumed before she even has a chance to comprehend what she is  doing . 

But then again.

It has been more than a day since she has eaten more than a quarter portion and she wagers, she may need all the energy she can spare for the next few days.

  
As another holofilm starts, a cliched and formulaic romance, Rey finds she doesn’t have the stomach for its melodrama. Shutting down her machine, Rey shuffles to her bunk. Collapsing on the lumpy, ancient mattress with an unhappy sigh.

An knot in her throat threatens tears as she lies there, stewing on the  disaster this day has been. However,  the warm chain that rests against her skin, pendant nestled between her breasts, paints a slightly less maudlin picture. 

Swallowing down her despondency, Rey hopes for a better tomorrow.

Closing her eyes, sleep finds her quickly.

Her mind filled by a collection of vivid, nonsensical dreams that are a welcome change to the nightmares that often plagues her slumbers alone.

Sometime during the night, as she lies half asleep in the inky, black of the cabin, Rey swears she can feel a weight on the edge of her bunk. The ghost of a hand on her back followed by a press of warm lips upon her brow.

It rouses her with a start.

_ Ben? _

But no one answers back.

By morning, she finds herself alone.

* * *

The days that follows  Rey's tumultuous first exploration of Dagobah, prove to be just as difficult as that tentative beginning.

Answers eluding her as she searches every knot and cave for something, anything, to help her locate what she needs.

On the plus side, what she does find and gathers, are a multitude of spare mechanical part and electrical components that will serve her well in the near future. 

Scavenging the ancient shells of unlucky  ships, she finds along the way, find treasures amongst the junk.

Their occupants are long gone and lost to the murky depths of this mysterious place.

The small collection of pieces will do nice in helping to maintain the Falcon. 

And it feels good to find some positives to this mayhem

The uncooperative w eather unfortunately c ontinues to be a problem in her hunt for clues amongst the mangroves and swamps.

Heavy rain so persistent and the ground so boggy, Rey has given up hope of wearing her white robes ever again. The mud is now so deeply caked into the material, Rey is in no doubt they will forever be a horrible shade of beige and murky green.

The Falcons already stressed water system can only do so much in helping her.

Switching to her darker, heavier tunics becomes another constant issue as the humidity and heat does not abate one bit, even with every stormy shower that lashes the landscape. 

The denser material of her grey tunic making her sweat profusely as she battles through the sludgy pathways every morning and afternoon. The dark cloth at least hides most of the dank muck that seems to follow her everywhere. 

Rey truly hates it here.

So much at times, it almost makes her miss  Jakku in her worst moments.

At least on the ball of dusty, sandy hell, she knew what she was getting herself into when she scavenged its arid, unforgiving landscape. 

She could anticipate the dangers and adjust her  behavior to suit each situation.

Dagobah is a very different beast altogether, its intolerable ecosystem adept at finding new and increasingly irritating ways of thwarting her progress .

Today, it is the turn of some very determined  B ogwings and their repeated attempts to feed her to their young chicks.

Their screeching howls of frustration ringing through the jungle canopy as she sends yet another flapping attacker into the hard trunk of a nearby tree. 

She has a s of  yet, resisted the urge to light her sabre and end this violently. Not wanting to spill blood unless it is  absolutely  necessary. The  Bogwings are just animals after all, acting solely on instinct to feed their babies in this harsh place.

It is a struggle for survival she understands so fervently, it almost pains her to leave them hungry and desperate.

Rey will not kill unless she has to.

As with the placid  Nudj , Rey is not keen to leave a clutch of defenseless orphans in this unforgiving world.

No matter who their parents may be.

However , the vicious , snapping jaws of t he  Bogwings are making it almost impossible to avoid a more brutal end to this assault. 

Their determination and desperation proving to be a dangerous mix.

Rey yelps in pain when a long line of claws , rakes down her bicep, tearing as another creature scrambles to clutch at her arm.

Blood begins to flow down to her wrist as she hisses loudly. The weeping cuts are mostly cosmetic, but even at this, the injury stokes the sparking embers of her rage.

Days of frustration and tested patience twisting her resistance until that old, bitter darkness stirs in her gut. 

Rey has not felt it in years, that crackling at the edge of her fingertips. But she ca n n o t help it, she has given up so much to be here. Sacrificed the one small glimmer of pure happiness she has ever felt in her life.

Rey has left Ben alone and heartbroken on Naboo, refused him , just to chase this foolish thread of hope.

And now as she tries to avoid lashing out at these simple creatures, these hunger crazed, suffering wretches, Rey is rewarded only with pain.

It's too much for her to bear. 

This constant testing of her will and how much she can take alone , it breaks her.

Rey, in that moment,  loses control .

The darkness overtak es  her senses , that repressed anger tearing out of her with a scream and rush of scorching retribution. 

In that frozen second, as the murky wood lights up with forks of lightning erupting from her hands, Rey feels as if  she’s standing there outside her own body. Watching on in horror as the roaring flashes of wicked energy ruptur es  the gloom,  striking every  creature in quick succession.

Their screeches silenced in one foul stroke.

A burning sob aches in  Reys throat as each  reptavian mother  tumbles to the  mossy ground around her. The smell of singed flesh filling her nostrils. 

The creatures do not stir, mouths agog and eyes bulging in their skulls.

" Nonononono !" Rey whimpers as her hands twitch above the body of one. Her breathing frantic as she dreads the thought that she has killed them.

But as she looks within the Force, she see there is still life thrumming softly through its limbs, the pulse weak but growing steadily. 

Searching a second and then a third, Rey is thankful to find them clinging on.

"Worry not, young master" an ancient voice whispers " badly stunned they are, but no life you did take."

Turning on her heel with wide eyes,  Rey’s breath stutters as she spies  Yoda's blue form upon a felled trunk behind her.

"Master Yoda!" She  gasps in disbelief. 

"Young Skywalker, at last do we meet" the old master smiles, croaky voice a welcoming change to silence she has felt for days.

In the presence of his kind, but probing gaze, Rey is at a loss as what to say.

Especially after such a display of temper and lack of control.

The small  Jedi frowns as he studies her troubled face.

"Much anger I sense in you Rey, much fear for the things you cannot yet see" the old master sighs.

"I didn't....I didn't.... mean to do that" she stutters mournfully, deeply ashamed for harming the  Bogwings so maliciously. 

Even if it is unintentional.

Yoda hums in reply.

"Many a thing we cannot control when we become unbalanced."

Rey tries not to grimace as she digests his words. She is utterly bereft to have given into her anger ,  the raging, sickly feeling filling her , an uneasiness she hasn’t felt in years.

" I have struggled in my meditations” she admits , her voice bleak as  she  speaks.

“ I have tried to find it Master,  a sense of calm ... but… .there is a creeping darkness.  There, at the edge of my mind "

Yoda’s worn face shows nothing as he hums in reply, expression blank as he lets her talk again.

" This has been more difficult than I thought possible. Being alone here, failing over and over again ..... I am tested every way I turn”

Rey huffs loudly as her frustration breaks through.

“...I just....I need you to tell me this is not a fool's errand."

The small master st an d s , using his stick for leverage as he began to walk towards her.

Stopping only as he reaches the far end of the trunk with a sigh; he looks deeply into her eyes.

"The greatest teacher failure is, forget that not" he answers, gently pressing the narrow end of his walking stick into the soft flesh of her  shoulder.

" We must fall, so again we can rise. Let go of what you fear and the answers you will find. At the start we must begin"

Rey looks at the short humanoid in front of her skeptically, trying not to let her chagrin at him show. 

What was it about Jedi masters and their propensity to speak in riddles? 

Would she become the same with her own students in time ?

"Master Yoda" she  begins  tightly " is there any possibility of you just  _ telling  _ me where you hid the texts?"

Y oda's eyes sparkle with mirth as he let's out a hearty chuckle. 

"Tell you there is no need! The answer you already know!"

Rey feels like smacking herself in the face at his response,  it is now becoming  more and more  obvious this  is all she  is  going to get from him. Shrouded answers and  cryptic  words.

This whole exchange with him is impossible. 

Closing her eyes, she breathes deeply to try quell her growing temper as she tries again.

“ Okay" Rey says as evenly as she can muster “you said the start is where we begin....but ….do you mean your hut? Because I’ve already looked there and….”

Yoda is gone when she opens her eyes, nothing but a hint of his mischievous chuckle echoing around the small copse of trees.

“Great just great"  Rey growls loudly, kicking out at the stump Yoda has just vacated .

As if on cue , the heavens opened above her, lashing her body with fat drops of rain as it falls in loud patters in the puddles by her feet.

  
“Maker does it ever stop raining here!’ she shouts louder, throwing her arms up into the air in utter exasperation. It almost makes her want to just try this awful planet and cut her losses.

Even just for one brief, despairing second.

Her grumbling falters as the  Bogwings finally begin to stir behind her and painfully work their way onto their feet.

The shaken creatures eye her warily as they caw weakly at one another, chattering in unison, they seem to agree between themselves, she is not worth the aggravation. 

Reaching into her small knapsack, Rey tosses the hungry  reptavians her hidden stash of  bantha jerky in silent apology.  Emptying her store until the re is enough to stem their hunger at least for today .

The Bogwings sniff at the  of fering of  dried meat cautiously , grunting before  grasping the  morsels with a flurry of flapping  wings .

Not once looking back at her.

“You’re welcome" she mutters sourly, pressing her hand to the wound on her arm as she watches them leave. The lacerations are still bleeding profusely and as the rain continues to fall in unending, stinging drops, her wounds begin to ache.

She needs  bacta , but a n improvised bandage will have to do until she makes it back to the Falcon.

“This day could not get any worse" Rey grouses once more to  herself as she tears  strips of material from the hem of her tunic . Hi ssing loudly  as the wet material  rubs against  deep cleave s through her  bicep.

Wrapping it tightly, she pushes her sopping mess of knotted her  hair away from her face.

Exhaling loudly as she suddenly feels  drained and despondent.

“ _ You seem troubled Scavenger" _ a warm, sonorous voice calls to her upon the wind.

Rey’s neck clicks loudly with the speed in which her head whips up and around to find the source of those soothing tones.

“Ben?’ she trembles , hope blooming in her chest.

A movement catches the corner of her eye, a strange shape shifting in the downpour.  Squinting she scours the tree line with hopeful  urgency. 

But it proves to be a lost cause.

Her heart sinking as she watches a small pack of Pikobis slipping into the lagoon to hunt. Their sleek bodies soon lost to opaque water.

Rey does not see anything more through the tree, no familiar shadow in the drops that rush from the sky.

“Ben…” she asks again feebly ,  finding  no reply but the noise of the swamp as  her  answer.

That little glimmer of hope fades and dies within her, as her thoughts remain empty and only her own.

No voice  rising from the ether to comfort her again.

“Gods I must be going mad” she scolds herself , scrubbing at her face h arshly .

She is not in the frame of mind to keep up this search today. That much is clear.

Her enthusiasm exhausted at least for now.

Playing with chain around her neck, the dull metal pendant surprisingly warm to the touch, Rey swallows the lump that forms in her throat. 

Ben.

Gods how she misses him as the days stretch on.

The smell of him on her skin a distant memory now. The taste of his lips a tang in her mouth she can no longer recall.

It is all ….fading without  sign of return.

The complete absence of him now in the Force around her breaks her heart. Twists her mind and poisons her hope.   
Rey feels no closer to finding what she needs than she had three days ago. It all seems a waste, a mistake she can never take back.

Rey’s disillusionment grows as she makes the long, slow walk back to her freighter. Head bowed and spirit torn.

* * *

The rain has thankfully abated a little by the time she returns to the Falcon.

A small miracle in of itself and one that brings with it a calm she welcomes quietly.

This serenity is very quickly interrupted as Rey begins to make her way inside the freighter.   
Rey has barely lowered the gangway before D-Os small body comes barreling down the ramp. 

Wailing at her incoherently as she tries to navigate her way around him, the little droid  pirouetting through her feet.

His usual pronouncements of " _ Friend dirty. Friend go clean _ " replaced by a babble of panicked beeps she can't quite understand. 

Huffing  loudly, Rey stops midway up the walkway. Glaring down at her neurotic companion.  She doesn’t have the patience to  humour him today.

"What?" She snaps. 

The droid cowers a little at her outburst, unused to expressions of ill temper from her usually amiable disposition.

_ "Stranger here _ " he trills more clearly.

_ "Stranger on ship" _

Reys blood freezes in her veins, a flash of fear rippling down her back. Something does seem off now she bothers to pay attention. 

"Stay behind me" she whispers quietly, lighting her sabre as she soundlessly takes the last few steps up the ramp and into the ship.

As much curious and she is wary of the fact she senses nothing within the Force, no pulse of life or errant thought. 

The stranger as D-O calls them, leaves no trace. 

It unnerved her.

For s he knows someone is watching,  observing every step she takes,  the hairs on the base of neck rising as she walks deeper into the freighter. 

Her silent path through the ship is lit by the golden glow of her weapon as she searches with quickened pulse. The low squeak of her  droid's  wheel , the only sound that splits her heavy breathes.

Turning toward the cockpit  Rey’s whole-body tenses, seeing the large shape that leans upon the  dursteel frame.

Waiting.

Her s abre  f alls  from her hands  when the shadow speaks suddenly , c lattering upon the  floor noisily as she gasps in shock.

"Now aren't you a sight for sore eyes." Ben's deep voice teases, smile brilliant as he steps into the light. 

"Ben" Rey whimpers in disbelief, the warmth in his amber eyes breaking her heart all over again.

She blinks rapidly, convinced her desperate , needy mind has conjured him from her dreams.

Perhaps she has become irrational and fever drugged by the constant damp and decay. Perhaps delirious from t he blood loss, the wound on her arm more serious than she anticipated.

Closing her eyes as she shakes , Rey takes a deep, uneasy breath. Willing herself to be free from this torment.

But he is still there  when she stare s back at  him dumb struck a few seconds later.

His midnight black hair is a little wilder than it had been  before, and his facial hair is more pronounced and thicker than it had been on Naboo.

But it is her Ben that stares back her in wonder. Solid and real as he waits for her to recover.

"Ben?' Rey repeats with a firmer, sweeter tone. Face brightening as she steps forward.

“How…?”

"I'm here sweetheart" he replies happily, catching her cheeks in his palms. Watching the relief and joy flood into her face as she finally believes.

Finally understands, that this is no trick or cruel dream.

He hands holds as they have before.

"I'm here" Ben says again, stepping closer as Rey begins to shake.

A huge smile burst from her lips as his thumbs run over the deep dimples her elation creates. His gentle eyes tracing her face, awed as if in shock at finding her again.

Tears spring from Rey’s eyes as wraps her arms tightly around him. Burying her face in his broad chest as sudden sobs wreck her body, weeping into his shirt despite her delight.

Ben holds her close, not even bothered by how cold and wet her soaked tunic is making him. Caressing her back as she cries, rocking her back and forth as he tries to sooth her tears. The hardship of the last few days making her almost hysterical.

The relief of finding him here, after  everything she had endured.

It overwhelms her.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" he whispers in her ear, resting his forehead upon her shoulder as he too sheds a tear or two.

"I've got you sweetheart".

* * *

They hold each other for the longest time, Ben's big body rocking them back and forth until her cries soften into short sniffs and chesty hiccups.

His shirt is a mess of rainwater, tears and snot when Rey finally finds the strength to raise her head and look at him. 

That bright smile beaming up at him as her fingers twist in his hair.   


"Sorry about your shirt" she snorts sheepishly, trying to brush the worst of the stains from his chest with pink cheeks. That smile softening as his hand catches hers with an amused chuckle. Pressing her palm against his chest as he pulls her closer.   


"Don't be, it was worth it".   


Ben says nothing more for the moment, content to hold her and just take in the vibrant wonder in her hazel eyes. His stare in return shining with unexpressed affection.   


She wants to kiss him so badly, to taste his lips and quench this craving that has lain dormant in their days apart. She craves that intimacy again.

But Rey is afraid to let her guard down, to close her eyes and lose sight of him. Terrified he will disappear into the cosmos without her gaze upon him.    


But the compromise of this enforced separation, is the feel of his soft hair between her fingers, his steady heartbeat beneath her palm and the utterly enraptured way he looks at her as they stand locked in wonderment.

It is almost worth her attempts at abstinence.   


In the end it is Ben that breaks first, incapable of holding everything in anymore.

His lips are soft and pliant as they met hers, his kiss almost chaste before she leans back up into him. Deepening and drawing him into her.

And it's like she can  breathe again.

His kiss like the air in her lungs, guiding her back to the surface of this world.

Rey thinks she will never tire of this rush she gets from holding him like this, meeting every hot breath and caress of his tongue with her own.

Possessing him entirely, while also submitting herself to his body and his ownership of her heart.

Her breath is ragged as he finally pulls back, chest heaving as he rests his forehead against hers. That smile Ben has only ever reserved for her, grace's his features as he hums happily.

" I think  I'm getting addicted to that" he admits, mood jovial as he pulls her at the waist. Forcing their chest closer and grinning broadly when her cheeks flush at the contact. 

He enjoys seeing the effect he has on her.

" I can’t say I feel the same." Rey needles back, smirking at him fiendishly even as she angles her face to kiss him again.   


"Nope" she sighs "no effect at all, what a shame.'

Ben lets out a bark of laughter, his eyes narrowing as he readies himself to retort with a withering comeback, when his balance is thrown off kilter for a moment. 

A second shudder sending him a half step forward seemingly from nowhere.

They soon find out why.

The whirr of D-O's small wheel groaning as he readies himself to ram at Ben's ankle again.

The droid charges with uncharacteristic bravery straight at the bemused man, wailing as he strike ineffectually against his shin.   


" _ Bad Stranger. Let go. Bad Stranger. Friend good” _

Ben cannot help but laugh at his miniature attacker. 

"It seems your little friend has taken umbrage to my presence here"

Rey giggles loudly as her droid spins around and tries another point of attack. Rey releases Ben and tries to block  her overeager protector as he starts to charge.

"D-O, stop it." 

The little droid stalls for a moment before beeping  in indignation. 

Rey snorts loudly as he revs up to charge again with dogged determination.    


"D-O, stop it, Ben is....Ben is my friend"

The small machine gurgles as he pauses and angles his little cone head upwards. Cocking it to the side with confusion. 

“ _ Friend _ ?"

"Yes" Rey laughs softly "Ben is my friend"

Looking at Ben, she silently prompts him with her eyes.

"Yes, I am  Reys friend" he repeats with a slight smirk.

" _ Stranger friend _ ?" 

Rey nods, crouching down to meet the small droid.

"Ben is a friend and we don't hurt friends do we D-O?"

" _ Friends. No hurt _ ." He trills back. His body squeaks as he raises his head back and forth to look at Rey and Ben.

" _ Ben friend _ " he confirms happily. Spinning around in a circle before he zips off towards the cockpit.

"That little...." Rey grumbles halfheartedly "I've known him three years and he still refuses to say my name, he meets you for one minute and suddenly its  _ Ben Friend _ "

The chuckle that leaves Ben's amused lips is so infectious Rey cannot avoid caving in and laughing too.

"He’s a brave little thing, I'll give him that"

"He’s an irritant mostly" she grouses in reply, rising back to her feet with a sigh.

Ben's smug expression fades as his eyes fall upon her shoddy makeshift bandage, the material now a deep red as the wound continues to bleed.

"You're hurt" he says with a frown, gently lifting her arm towards him and tugging at the cloth with a concerned tut of his tongue. 

"I'm fine, I just ran into some very unfriendly  Bogwings earlier" Rey replies wearily, trying not to wince as Ben unwinds the sodden cloth.

"Its just a scratch" 

Ben's expression is pensive as he studies the long, narrow gashes down her bicep.  Each line  a deep furrow in her skin.

"No it's not " Ben sighs heavily, examining the torn, tender flesh. Mouth setting in a deep pout. His dour expression d arkens  as he sees her flinch reflexively. 

"Gods Rey, please tell me you have  bacta on this hunk of junk." 

His voice is gruff as he half pulls, half guides her to sit by the holochess board a few paces away. Finding his way round the Falcon with no thought of how natural it comes to him. 

Rey allows him to fuss over her injury, his concern and care oddly flattering.

He presses another spare, dry length of cloth to the weeping tear in her skin.

" Bacta Rey, do you have it?" He repeats impatiently, frown now a deep scowl across his dark brow.

"Yeah....just up there to the right. There should be some spare patches and gel" Rey sighs heavily, pointing up towards a row of simple cupboard doors.

Ben nods in reply, replacing his hand with hers on the steadily darkening patch of cotton on her arm. A short loud exhale of air shooting out of him as he stalks over to retrieve the medical pack.

"You're awful bossy, you know that" Rey teases as Ben's stamping feet quickly bring him back to her, supplies clutched in his huge hands.

"And you're awful foolhardy sometimes" he shoots back, rubbing the  bacta patch between his hands as he waits for the solution to activate. The corners of his mouth twitch upwards for a second as he stares down at her.

Rey arches an eyebrow at him in defiance, smirk deepening while she regards him with mirth.

Ben's grave expression lightens further as he finds it impossible not to be affected by irresistible cheerfulness. 

Such a sweet, beautiful creature she truly is.

"Take off your tunic, it’ll make it easier to treat all of the wound " his tone is much warmer now as he prepares to disinfect her arm.

" Mr Solo, remove my tunic? How utterly scandalous!” she teases “I believe you just want to take advantage of my vulnerable state.” 

She smirks coyly as Ben flushes unintentionally. He quickly schools his face into a more neutral state as he glowers back

“Hardly" Ben snorts, hands on his hips as he looks at her with derision. 

“ So you don’t want to get me naked again?” Rey grins, a glint of a challenge in her eyes even as she does as she is told. Gingerly pulling the rough material from her body and over her head.

Her damp tunic plops onto the ground unceremoniously beside, but it still does not disrupt the growing tension building between them.

Ben’s  gaze darkens for a second as his eyes rove over her slim waist and  bronzed skin, a knowing  smirk tugging at his mouth.

“ I didn’t say that, but perhaps it would be better if you weren’t bleeding at the time.”

“Liar" Rey retorts, grabbing the disinfectant from his hands as she pouts comically.

"No, I like my women in one piece and preferably, not faint from literal blood loss " he smirks back at her, taking the disinfectant back with a slow brush of his fingers against hers.

Eyes shifting as he treats the mess of blood and flesh on her arm. His grip is firm but gentle as he wipes at the blood and dirt.

Cleaning every inch of her ruined skin, relaxing as the bleeding seems to slow.

"Please....you can barely keep your eyes from wandering. Admit it" Rey counters with a grin, pushing out her chest intentionally until Ben is forced to shuffle back with another flush across his cheeks.

"You're incorrigible" he mutters drolly, eyes flicking between her face and the steadily improving condition of her arm under his steady hands.

"I prefer single-minded" Rey grins, arching her dark eyebrows at him coyly.

"Obsessed" Ben retorts more huskily, eyes dancing over her curves unconsciously.

Iris darkening as he licks his lips in reply. His own pulse starting to dance in his veins.

Leaning in, Rey’s voice is low and alluring as she whispers in his ear.

"What can I say, you bring out the worst in me"

The morose look on Ben's face slowly shifts to amusement as he finishes dressing her wounds.

Any lingering annoyance at her cavalier attitude to her body's trauma, burning away in the face of her shameless flirting.

As he places the last bacta patch on the meat of her arm, he sighs in defeat at her coy smile. The flash of victory in her eyes rankles him.

Makes him want to refuse her just out of principle.

But.

He can't find it in himself to care all that much.

Tilting her chin upwards, he tries to feign annoyance. Brow furrowing even as he smirks despite himself. 

"You need to be more careful" he chastises halfheartedly, already leaning down far more closely than is necessary.

"And you need to work on not being so transparent" Rey muses back, biting at her lip.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Ben growls back, smirk deepening as he stares into her lovely eyes.

"No? There must be a reason you can't take your eyes off my chest” Rey smiles demurely.

Ben grunts back at her indignantly, cheeks flushing even more crimson.

"Wishful thinking." he shoots back, utterly unconvincing.

"Fine, if you say so." Rey sighs innocently, leaning back before she stands in the small space that separates them. Ben’s jaw twitches as he takes in her lovely form once more, forcing himself to keep his distance and his dignity by  extension .

Rey’s smile is coquettish as she pushes passed him. Humming to herself as she takes down her hair.

Pausing by the door of her cabin, her tone is neutral as she looks back at him.

"I'm going to get out of these wet clothes so you can either wait here by yourself..."

Her trousers  are prized open and  dropped  to the floor while she looks up at him through her lashes.  Watching as his Adam’s apple  bobs up and down in sudden nervousnes s , his nostrils flaring as he drinks  her in .

He cannot even pretend to be nonchalant about the way her body affects him as she starts to strip.

The way in which she's looking at him, it toys with his undeniable attraction to her,  makes his blood heat uncomfortably in his veins. 

Dormant desire rising again.

His hands begin to twitch at his sides as he fights to keep his composure.

Rey sighs  as her hands slip towards her breast band, pausing as Ben takes a  half step towards her unconsciously.

" Or… ” 

Her lips curl up into an alluring  smile as she speaks in a low,  husky tone. Making Ben’s insides twist and drop with anticipation. 

“You  can come help warm me up with those big hands of yours"

It’s this that breaks his resistance. 

Ben doesn't even need any more of an invitation, striding over and lifting her up off her feet in one smooth sweep.

Rey squeals in surprise at his forwardness, before a beaming smile spreads on her cheeks.

"I think you know; I can't refuse a woman in need " Ben murmurs provocatively, rubbing his nose against the soft skin of her neck with a groan.

Rey shivers at the rumble of his voice against her chest.

Arching his face up with her hands, she looks down at him wickedly.

" Such a gentleman" she teases, leaning down and kissing him so soundly he cannot help but grin against her mouth.

"Always".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter preview: Rey will find out Ben's location, but there will be a catch!
> 
> There will be fluff and minor smut, as well as more humorous moments.
> 
> Until next time!


	10. A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey have fun on the Falcon as they enjoy their reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Thank you so much as per usual for all your kind words and kudos on the last chapter. I'm so close to 300 now it is taunting me :)
> 
> This chapter is a little later than anticipated as I was travelling and then life got in the way last weekend and I didn't get to finish the chapter in time. That ,and, my plan for this chapter changed slightly as I was reaching the later stage of writing it, prompting a slight rewrite. As suggested by ElleElle, Ben's role in finding the Jedi texts became more important and it felt right to change the plot a little.  
> But because of this, the chapter has again been split as it was edging closer to 10,000 words and too much ended up being packed in.
> 
> As such, Ben's location will not be discovered until part 2.
> 
> But in it's place is a fluffy, silly chapter full of fun and small bits of angst.
> 
> I will try have the next part up on Saturday as I am mostly done with it-well 90%! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen
> 
> p.s: there is a small chapter preview in the end notes!

* * *

As romantic settings go, Rey is aware the Millennium Falcon is severely lacking in all senses of the word.  
Whether it's the general look of longstanding neglect or the persistent smell of burnt rubber, stale portions and engine oil, the ship does little to lend itself to creating an atmosphere of seduction. 

In fact, it is fair to say the ship prompts quite the opposite reaction to delight or any feelings close to allure on most occasions. 

Her cramped little single bunk in the crew quarters for example, is a far cry from the sumptuous, royal bed she and Ben had shared on Naboo.

The mattress is a lumpy, unforgiving sort of comfort that one would associate with prison cells. There is also the startling fact, at best guess, the grubby thing has most likely seen twice the number Summer as Rey! Ancient and overused would be an understatement. . 

The sheets, though scrupulously clean, are unforgivably scratchy against the skin and almost threadbare in spots. 

But it doesn't seem to matter one bit, because even with these glaring flaws, Ben and Rey's heated kisses quickly lead them to be wedged inside that tight, dark space. Limbs entangling in that delicate dance of lust on that beaten bed without pause or second thoughts.

Lips caress lips and tongues meet with enthusiasm, as skin slides together as their breaths quicken.

Eager hands exploring every inch they can touch, fingers trailing to places once kept sacred and secret only to ones own desires.

Even through this haze, Rey has to hold back her laughter at the ridiculous setting of tonight's intimacies.

Ben's big frame comically too large for the bunk's low ceiling as his body bends at awkward angles just to kiss her comfortably. 

It is all far from ideal. 

The bedding ,she also notes, is slightly musty from the constant humidity of Dagobah climate and sustained lack of proper ventilation the Falcon suffers from. 

Rey's wet hair and damp body is doing little to improve the situation now as she shifts below Ben. 

The room becoming uncomfortablysaturated with body heat and heady moisture in minutes. 

It is anything _but_ the intimate fantasy she had once dreamed of in the early throes young of love. 

Yet, as times moves on, Rey hardly even notices the old quarters shortcomings, too lost in Ben to register anything but each new touch and hot breath on their bare skin. Eagerly taking every small pleasure he offers her.

A deeper, earthier smell permeating the air as they rut together gleefully as things naturally progress. Groaning and panting as the bunk rocks with them. 

In this heightened state, the sheets below them are like silk around their bodies, the ancient mattress more than a cloud on which they rest. 

Their joined hips and searching mouths all that they really process fully.

And for those feverish, intense moments they move desperately together, there is nowhere else in the known universe they'd rather be. 

None but that small, ill-fitting cabin bunk. 

Utterly blissful. 

New levels of existence are discovered as they reach a different plane together. 

For what are such small vexations in the face of this new, sweet ecstasy? 

And as it turns out, the bunk proves to be the perfect proportions when Rey determines to switches their positions.

Choosing to ride Ben hard and mercilessly until they can take no more. They howl together in union as a fire consumes them in that small room. 

The mattress holds again and again as they test its resistance to the vigor of their copulation's. Material never caving and proving to be well equipped to deal with each new change.

Holding it's firm yet yielding shape even when Ben takes Rey from behind, head pressing deep into the worn, soft foam as she cries with the intensity of it.

The ancient bed's unusual shape and elasticity, adds a peculiar traction and balance for her to thrust back against. Countering his driving hips as they rise up into her and hit that hallowed spot deep within with a singular focus. 

The unique shape of the cabin, helping them reach that joint whimper of satisfaction again and again as they ascend and fall together. 

For though the Falcon may never be the most romantic of settings, for tonight and for Rey, it is utter bliss. 

* * *

As the minutes and hours pass and calm begins to descend again, Ben and Rey do not bother to move or cleanse themselves beyond the bare minimum. 

They cling together with breathless grip as the frantic tension within them dissipates into the low flame of satiation. 

Their forms remain entangled within each others arms as heart rates slow and the feeling of drowsiness grows, but does override the need to savour this reunion.

To take in this reprieve they have been gifted.

Lying against his chest contentedly, Rey lets her mind wander as she runs her fingers over Ben’s dark and rapidly growing whiskers. Humming happily as she traces a path around his lips and back again. 

She marvels at the change this small addition makes to his appearance, how it frames and enhances the plushness of his lips and noble bearing of his cheeks.

An addendum to his face that sends a frisson of delight down her back. 

"I think I like you with a facial hair" Rey murmurs earnestly, breaking the peaceful silence that had fallen between them.

"I think it suits you" she adds after a long pause, rising to look at him better as she trails a curious finger over his jaw.

Pulling gently at the sable beard with a smirk. 

Ben snorts in reply, a pink tone gracing his cheeks. 

"Really, I always hated it. My beard always seems to grow in patchy." 

Rey runs her fingers over his whiskers again as she takes in his reply, admiring the weeks of growth that have spread across his upper lip and down his chin. 

The hair is as dark as night and pleasantly prickly upon the pads of her fingertips. 

"Hardly, it looks good on you" Rey beams back at him, scratching at his scruff as she continues "it makes you look regal.... but....it also tickle sometimes when you kiss me.” 

Ben smiles at her in response. 

His pure white and slightly crooked grin, makes him seem almost boyish when complemented by the deep dimples that form in his cheeks. An innocence to that look that fills her heart. 

Rey can't help but feel her core flutter wildly as she looks down at him, painful attracted to the way his dark hair falls _just right_ around his face. 

He looks angelic and yet, utterly sinful. 

Like some fallen deity she has trapped within her bed. Imprison by promises of pleasure and destined to be her bedfellow until all her desires have been quenched.

Not that this point of gratification is likely to be any time soon!

"Would you prefer if I don't kiss you then?" Ben teases after a beat, not meaning the jibe one bit as his eyes twinkle up at her. 

Rey purses her lips as her eyebrow cocks up in reply 

Leaning down, she grins mischievously before dropping a teasing kiss to his mouth. 

"Well no, I didn’t say that” she whispers against his lips, pressing down once more before she sits back with a coy smirk. 

“....just maybe don't attempt that other.... _thing_... until _after_ you shave ". 

Ben chuckles as he runs his hand over his jaw with a devilish glint in his eyes. Knowing exactly what _thing_ he would dearly wish to attempt again soon. The memory of her squirming hips against his mouth, a torturous delight he cannot help but relish. 

But. 

He can learn to be patient. 

"Duly noted " he chuckles amiably as he pulls her closer. Letting his lips run gently up and down her throat before chancing a kiss to her nose. 

Rey’s eyes crinkle at the edges as she smiles wider. Letting her hand drift to his temple and threading her hands through his hair with a happy sigh.

Rey hums to herself, letting her fingers trail over his scalp as he shivers in response. His dark eyes fluttering closed with a groan, as his features twist into a lazy smile.

His groans again in satisfaction, his body relaxing and growing slack in response to her ministrations.

Rey smiles to herself as she keeps going, gently kneading and running her finger nails against the crown of his head. Ben practically purring with the pleasure with each new caress.

“You know, I’ve always wondered…" Rey says quietly after a while, lifting each dark wave up gently as she studies the shine of it "have you always worn your hair long?"

Ben’s easy expression falters a little as he contemplates the question. 

“I didn’t keep it long when I was a boy, but I have since I reached puberty." Ben replies simply, his own hand tracing up and down the column of Rey's spine as he seeks to distract himself. Staring off into space, he finds it hard to look her in the eye suddenly

Rey cocks her head to the side as she notices his uncharacteristic timidness, pondering his reticent words. 

"Why not? Surely it takes a lot of work to keep this mane so lustrous."

A teasing undertone hums in her voice as she runs her hands through his hair again. 

“You must have been tempted once or twice to just chop it all off, to try something different maybe?" 

Ben's face pink as he frowns in discomfort. 

“No not really" he replies lowly, eyes dropping as he avoids looking at her once more. 

“No? Any reason you never considered it?” Rey probes, shifting as she tries to catch his eye. Ben sighs, features turning glum as he mutters uneasily in reply. 

"My ears stick out too much. I'd rather keep it long" 

Rey almost laughs unfeelingly at his answer.

Biting down on her tongue to avoid smirking and Ben noticing her amusement at his apparent admission of vanity. 

It’s endearing almost, the bashful way he blushes at her.

But then, as she looks at him, _really_ looks at him, she sees the truth.

Registers his genuine discomfort, realizing all at once there is more to this reticence than mere pride. Ben cannot even look at her, acutely aware of her searching eye and his own buried shame. 

This old festering wound of from boyhood, a fresh pang of self loathing in his chest. 

Rey doesn’t need to look into his mind to know, to see the truth he cannot put into words. 

His silence and the little things that remain unsaid between them, tells her all she needs to know. 

She sees it there, in the sad shifting amber of his eyes. 

Children had never been kind to this boy, to this son of the galaxy's heroes.

She cannot allow him to see himself like that anymore, to believe the taunts of the past that haunt his present. 

Pushing back his hair a little, she dares a peek at one of his offending ears with an audible sigh. 

Ben shifts under her gaze as his blush deepens, awaiting with bated breath for her anticipated disgust and abhorrence.

Rey does not say anything for the longest times, studying the shape of it with her eyes as the silence stretches on. Slim, small fingers running over the shell of his flushed ear, gently tracing the shape it before she kisses the tip with a low purr in her throat. 

Turning his head gently, she repeats the gesture on the second. Smiling kindly when she finally looks back at his awestruck face. 

"They seem fine to me Ben Solo, I wouldn't hide them so much." 

Ben's gaze is soft as he meets her eyes, a sweetness to his expression that disarms her and seems all too pure. 

A relief and brightness there that warms her heart. An unspoken gratitude in the way he looks at her. 

Kissing his lips once more, Rey gives him a tender smiled before she settles in against his chest. 

Mouth and nose coming to rest against the soft skin of his neck as she hums contentedly. 

Ben’s arms tighten around her as he drops his lips to the edge of her hairline. Sighing deeply as he breaths her in. 

"How is it, after every wretched thing I have done in this life, I am permitted to have a treasure like you in my arms. To touch and be with a thing so beautiful " He mumbles so low against the crown of her head, the words seem only for himself. 

Rey feels herself flush, a heat creeping over her cheeks and down the skin of her chest. She doesn't know how or if she should answer. 

Ben hums once more, his deep voice rumbling through her body as he speaks again. 

"I know, even if we had never been a Dyad…. even if we had only been two ordinary people, living two ordinary lives….there is no universe or plane of existence, in which I wouldn't have loved you."

Rey's heart clenches in response, body stiffening as she feels an overwhelming emotion spreading through her.

That word **_love_ **is still such a foreign tone to their conversation, it she causes her pause. Focuses her mind to a pinprick for one brief, intense moment.

_Love._

Though in truth, it is nothing but a simple, sweet little word, the utterance of it from Ben's mouth brings her now both rapture and bitterness. 

Because there is a sadness there, a lament in his words that things are not simpler. 

There is an admission to her and the greater force that surrounds them, that this small happiness tonight, could be all they ever have. 

The uncertainty of it all, is a stark realization once more as she lays against his broad chest. Feeling as he sighs in seeming resignation. 

Ben inhales again, preparing himself to say more, when Rey’s small hand rises to clamp over his mouth. 

Propping herself up to look at him with resolve, she shakes her head solemnly at his attempts to continue. 

"Just stop Benm please just stop talking like that. I can't take it" she whispers, eyes tracing his surprised expression.

Replacing her hand with her mouth, she kisses him hard and desperate. 

"For tonight, let us just feel and live and just...be" she begs “We have now, we have tonight....and tomorrow.... will always be tomorrow. We will never know what awaits us on the other side of sunrise" she insists, her gaze immediately softening as she takes him in. 

The liquid chocolate of his eyes shining up at her with such tenderness.

Ben's gulps visibly, nodding with understanding below her small, calloused hands. Knowing she is right, as always, his beautiful girl so infinitely wiser than he.

Turning them both, Ben moves gently until his body covers hers entirely. 

Blotting out her form like the moon caught between the sun and stars. His loving body casting her in benevolent shadow, to shield her from a universe that always seems to ask too much. 

"Feel and live and be" he repeats earnestly, eyes tracing her face as he holds himself just above this gorgeous being. Cataloging every part of her, so he will always remember.

She is a vision he will always cherish and hold dear within his heart. 

His soul is buoyant even as he digests the possibility this glorious view may be the last thing he ever sees, this body below him the last thing he ever feels,

From now until eternity. 

Those beautiful eyes of hers bewitch him and force him to believe Rey _will_ find a way _._

Knowing she _will_ search high and low for him until her very last breath if she must. Never giving an inch to those doubts that seem to plague him. 

Rey will not give up.

"Feel and live and be” she reiterates softly, pulling him down as they melt into each other. Entwining their limbs and lips until they lose themselves to the intoxicating rush once more. 

Arching and aching in tandem until they are nothing but baser instincts and a drive for survival. 

They surrender to their senses and the things words will never describe in full colour. 

And as Ben slips once more between her thighs, sighing audibly in her waiting mouth, the solid heat of him steals the air from Rey's lungs.

Hips pitch together in time as they chase away the darkness of the night, that sense they live on borrowed moments. 

Rey breaks and reforms again and again, dragging Ben to the edge with her. 

Holding him there and clinging to the rapture they have been granted, just for tonight. 

The heartening sound of her name on his lips as they move together is enough to know hope still lives for them. 

That love is enough.

* * *

Eventually the flesh they share becomes too tender for their frenzy to continue, but sleep is not yet welcome to this day's end.

And so, the young lover seek other distractions, other new and exciting experiences to live.

For it is this night, as it turns out, they discover an array of new and wonderful revelations. 

The most recent of all finds Ben quite by accident as they sit in the hold together. 

Taking him by utter surprise. 

He discovers with a quiet zest, he loves to watch Rey's reactions as they play holochess. 

To study the set of her features and the way her breathes grows heavy as she seeks to find signs of weaknesses in his game. 

There’s something special in how her nose creases up in concentration that charms him.

A beauty in the way her tongue hangs haphazardly out the side of her mouth, lolling softly as she tries to anticipate his next move. 

It makes his heart hum. 

Especially when coupled by the sight of her swaddled in his over-sized shirt, the soft black material falling to her mid-calf as she folds her long, slim legs below her. 

It stokes something warm and oddly possessive in his chest. Seeing her here wrapped up in his clothes, burying her face into the soft cotton as she thinks. 

This girl, this spitfire of determination and unerring compassion, is the reason he clings to this life. 

She is the reason; he still has hope. 

Rey, in a word, is _per_ _fection_. 

Even when she complains like a child. 

"I swear you must be cheating" Rey huffs, glowering as Ben yet again outmaneuvers her attack. 

"I am not" Ben protests sorely, trying not to gloat too hard when his smallest figure annihilates Rey’s last player. 

"Then how have you beaten me three times in a row?" 

A victorious grin fills his entire face in reply, amusement lighting his dark eyes as he tries not to laugh at her indignation 

Ben's slightly crooked smile is as endearing as it is infuriating to her, stoking a fiery displeasure as he continues to look back with teasing, haughty eyes. 

She doesn’t know what she would like to do more at that exact second, to either kiss his stupid face senseless or give him a well-aimed punch to the mouth. 

He is such a smug asshole sometimes. 

" Dumb luck?" Ben suggests nonchalantly, shrugging with another smirk.

"No such thing, you are blatantly cheating" she blusters back, arms crossing across her chest as she sulks. 

"Chewie must have shown you....you play just like him!" 

Ben bites on his lip as he suppresses the urge to grin at her foolishly . 

"I am not cheating" he protests again, failing to stop his laughter at her petulance. 

Rey’s sulk deepens as she sinks lower in the seat and Ben’s heart flutters in response. 

She really is just too cute. 

Rey glowers at him, shooting him another look of derision as he waggles his eyes brows at her.

"Rey..." he teases.

"Fine!" Rey eventually snaps back in a fit of temper, slapping the consoles power button with the meat of her hand. The game deactivates instantly, dead silence stretching as she crosses her arms over her chest. 

"I don’t want to play anymore" she growls lowly.

Ben's laughter barks again, his amusement growing at her childish behavior. 

"You are such a sore loser" he sniggers, leaning over the console as he grins. 

"I am not" she growls back, frown deepening as she pouts up at him in defiance. 

Ben licks his lips, once more failing to hide how entertaining he finds her pettiness. 

“Well...If you don’t want to play anymore, what do you want to do?” he smirks, earning him a look of disgust as Rey shoots him daggers. 

“Nothing” she huffs back through gritted teeth, staring off into space to avoid Ben’s gleeful expression.

Not liking his ridicule one bit. 

“Nothing?” he tests, leaning closer still. Rey once more fixes him a sullen glare. 

“Yes nothing.” she growls back sternly 

Ben bites at his lip again, snorting as he quickly swallows down his giggle. 

He cannot help it; she really is adorable even in her ire and immaturity. 

“You seem tense, are you sure you don’t want me to do _anything_ to relieve that for you ?” 

Ben creeps towards her, taunting smile still fixed to his mouth as he slips down the booth. Crawling forward until their thighs are flush to one another. 

Rey's surliness falters for a moment, not expecting him to venture so close. 

Her eyes flick to his for the briefest of moments, a flash of interest lighting up her gaze before she grabs a hold of herself with a huff.

“No thank you” she replies coolly. 

“Are you sure? I think you know by now; I am very good with my hands.” Ben murmurs into her ear, leaning closer still to her body. 

Rey shudders in reply, gaze shifting back to Ben’s darkening stare. 

His features set in an enticing half smile. 

Ben does nothing further for a moment, knowing he is already risking her wrath and must tread carefully to avoid genuine injury. 

Rey's posture relaxes a little as she looks back at him, contemplating the offer for a moment. 

Her annoyance abating until she spies the slow spread of a cocksure smirk across his face, triumph showing when he sees her hesitation. 

It is this swaggering smugness that finally sways her decision. 

Rising to her feet, eyes narrowed at him, Rey’s voice is low and dangerous as she speaks. 

"Ben Solo.... if you think that every time you flash those puppy dog eyes at me, I am going to just throw myself at you, you have another thing coming". 

Her fists are tightly coiled as she seethes at him. 

"History would beg to differ." He retorts with a grin, unable to stop himself even when he knows this will enrage her further. 

Rey's face darkens as leans closer with gritted teeth.

"Wishful thinking." She spits back. 

“Selective memory more like it.... " Ben chuckles, sitting forward to meet her fiery glare "Can you honestly say, you haven’t seduced me the last two times we’ve been together?”.

Rey chokes on her next words as her jaw twitches, unable to find a single retort.

Ben’s dark eyes light with a smug satisfaction as he watches her flounder for a moment, knowing she cannot even attempt to deny it.

She has been the instigator every time.

Rey purses her lips at him, begrudging the sordid truth she finds in his taunt. 

“You’re an ass.” she hisses back, turning to stalk off in a flurry of discontent at being called out. 

Ben is up on his feet and hot on heels before she even has time to react. His big hands catching both her arms as he pulls her back towards him. That damn smirk still on his face. 

“Yeah, I am an ass….but I’m your ass" he mumbles back affectionately. Rey’s anger is stuttered into submission by his sudden proximity. Those eyes of his making her lose herself for a moment. 

It’s only when her back gently meets the firm, cool durasteel wall and Ben’s big arms cage her in, that she seems to come to her senses once again. 

Immediately recognizing the intent in her companion’s amorous, teasing stare. His face tilting down towards her. His insulting plan to sooth her rage annoying her even further. 

“Don’t you dare kiss me" she threatens, her voice much breathier than she would like. A tightness in her chest as her subconscious relishes the tension.

Her body already betraying her and arching towards his, instinctively seeking his solid, warm presence in her orbit. 

“Or what?” Ben challenges, lips hovering closer "what will you do sweetheart? "

A glint of excitement in his eyes as he see's her pupils dilate in response.

“I’ll bite you, I swear " Rey growls back, her hands tightly clasping over his forearms. Pulling him closer even as she protests his advances. 

Knowing this threat is utter tripe. 

Ben can see it in her face, she is struggling to stay annoyed at him. 

“As if you would ….you like my lips way too much" Ben grins confidently, voice gentler and almost coaxing her closer. 

“Just try me...you know I'll do it” Rey whispers back, staring up at him insolently 

Torn again between that inclination to kiss him or to punch him as he treads more and more on her nerves. In the end it seems her anger is doomed to fail and fade as she sets him this silent challenge. 

Unable to resist participating in this silly game of enticement. 

“I think you’d like that, being a little rough with me” he chuckles, lips brushing over hers as Rey shudders again in reply. 

“Don’t be so certain” she smirks back, cocking an eyebrow at him “Arrogance is a very unattractive character trait in most people.” 

Snorting again, Ben sighs loudly as he whispers against her mouth. 

“Just as well that I’m not arrogant.” 

He feels her smile break as he closes the gap, unable to resist his charms for long. 

Accepting and relenting to his kiss before matching it with a fervor of her own. 

Her arms finding their way around his neck as it deepens and finds rhythm. 

This delicate dance as ancient as time itself, yet eternally thrilling with each new exchange. 

Ben’s grin is goofy and utterly enthralling when he pulls back to rest against her forehead. 

Rey smiles back at him despite herself, rolling her eyes at him when he laughs softly. 

Her cheeks are now pink with exhilaration and lips so gloriously love beaten, it makes Ben ache with pride. 

A sordid image that delights him as she glows with affection. 

But it doesn’t mean she has forgotten what started this altercation. 

“Ben” she begins with a knowing look, pushing him away from her so she can look at reactions closely “…..were you cheating at holochess?” 

There is a short pause in which Ben sighs heavily. A sly glint in his eyes as he smirks without restraint. 

“Yes" 

Rey scoffs loudly, features souring before she shoves him off her with a growl. 

“ _I KNEW IT!_ ” 

Ben giggles as she starts to swat at him with halfhearted slaps, laughing as she groans and growls at him. 

Shoving him again, they both tumble to the floor in a heap of giggles and annoyed grunts. 

Rey is quickly on him, holding him down with the Force as she playfully attacks him. 

“You are such a sneaky, scruffy looking nerfherder!” Rey exclaims, trying once more to smack him. Each blow light and with little malice behind it. 

“Ouch...I’m sorry...Im sorry” Ben snorts loudly, grabbing both her wrists as she swats at him again. 

“But it was so worth it, you’re just too adorable when you’re mad”. 

Rey huffs loudly again at him, smiling without meaning too. 

Knowing she cannot find it in herself to keep this tirade up. Ben Solo is just too damn winsome to stay mad at. 

Collapsing against his chest, she grunts unhappily as the last of her displeasure drains away. 

“You really are an ass” 

“I know” Ben smiles, wrapping his arms around her as she slowly reciprocates. 

Her head finding its way under his chins as she burrows her way into his chest with a slow sigh.

They lie there, entwined upon the cold freighter floor for the longest time.

Lost in their own thoughts for the moment. 

Eventually it is Ben that breaks the deadlock. 

"So....in response to my earlier question, is that a definite no?" he teases with an enticing smile. 

" Unequivocally, I don't think my body can take another round today" Rey groans tiredly, raising her head to catch his curious gaze. 

There is a keen sense of pride in the way his eyes light up at this comment, as if basking in the knowledge of his own virility.

But he makes no crude addition or unsavory, boasting remark.

For once keeping his big mouth shut. 

"Then maybe we can watch a holofilm....your choice perhaps?" He suggests, his countenance free from all traces of previous haughtiness. 

Rey’s own expression brightens as she smiles at the proposal. 

“I’d like that” 

* * *

Lying together in a new and much less debauched bunk in the cabin, the holofilm they watch is a gentle distraction for Rey’s racing mind.

The sweet children's adventure story is simple and lighthearted enough that it doesn't require all of her mental faculties. 

A drowsiness is starting to lay heavy on her, eyes drooping as the warmth of Ben's chest permeates every bone and swath of skin that connects them. 

It will not be long before her weariness and the comfort of Ben's embrace becomes all too much for her to resist. 

After the hard day she has had on Dagobah and the vigorous, wonder filled night they have shared, she is exhausted beyond measure. 

Still, she fights the separation sleep will inevitably bring her. Concern still brewing beneath the surface that she will not see Ben again when she wakes for several days.

It is this thought that keeps her alert and fighting against the urge to drift. Holding tightly to his body and the small spark of him she holds within the Force.

Wrapping her light around him until she is certain he will not waver while her eyes stay open.

Even as her words fail her for now.

It is Ben's sudden sigh that stirs her out of her reverie. A clearing of his throat that draws her full attention as he hesitantly starts to speak. 

"Things aren't going well here, are they?" 

Rey props herself up to look at him, noting the serious set upon his brow. 

"No, it's not." 

Her voice is almost meek as she answers, a shame looming below at her own ineptitude, disappointment shining from those sad,repentant eyes. 

She cannot look at him. 

Cannot fathom admitting her failure to him. 

" I still haven't found anything, not even one clue, to lead me to the texts Yoda hid. I've looked almost everywhere I could think of and found....nothing" a small smirks tugs at the corners of her mouth as she chance a look at him. 

"Well....except that dull pendant you so delicately chucked on the floor earlier”.

Her eyes light with gentle admonishment as Ben balks at the accusation. 

“I was a little distracted, priorities tend to fly out the window when a beautiful, minx of a woman propositions you so forcefully” Ben protests with a smirk.

Rey flushes as she rolls her eyes at him, poking him in the side with very little malice. 

“Be that as it may....perhaps don't throw it across the room next time" she argues with a pointed look.

Ben sighs in resignation.

"Fine, I'll be more careful" he drolls halfheartedly.

"Thank you" Rey snorts, pinching his cheek gently. Her face falls again as her thoughts turn to their original conversation. Eyes shifting to some small speck of dust in the corner as she avoids Ben's probing gaze again.

"But...I haven’t found anything else of note.... _well_....only if you include some old scraps parts I found in dire need of repair." She sighs glumly. 

Ben chuckles, chest jumping under her propped arms. 

"My little scavenger" he murmurs affectionately. 

His expression is warm when she meets his eyes. 

"Old habits die hard, don't they." He muses, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

Rey cannot help the ghost of a smile that tugs at her lips in reply to his gentle teasing. 

"Maybe?" She blushes pleasantly. Holding tight to the small flurry of pleasure that rushes down her spine at his quiet pride in her resourcefulness. 

However, the momentary break in her morose mood quickly dies as she sighs heavily. 

"Yoda proved to be frustratingly unhelpful. Apparently speaking in riddles and allegories is preferable to actually helping me." 

"I know the feeling" Ben replies sympathetically, a grimace forming at some long forgotten memory. 

"Sometimes I think they are under the impression, these cryptic responses are more beneficial to us than actual answers. Like finding the solution ourselves will help reinforce the lesson. Mostly I always found it an unnecessary irritant" 

Rey stretches above him, shoulders cracking as she shifts into a new position on his chest. She hums to herself as tries to get comfortable, wrapping Ben's long arm around her tightly as she thinks. 

"I am almost certain he wants me to go back to the hut, but there's nothing there. I already looked" she huffs against his neck. 

That urge to drift to sleep now an insistent tug. Her body is spent and her mind is quickly turning to mush with the sheer effort of talking.

"Maybe there's is more there than meets the eye, it can't hurt" Ben whispers back, big hands running up and down her back. Her limbs loosening and relaxing with each stroke. 

Her voice is thick and drowsy as she mumbles back her acquiescence. 

"Maybe...it’s not like I have any other options" 

She shifts again as she sighs deeply. 

"One thing I haven't been able to understand though, and I know in the grand scheme of things it is relatively unimportant...but.... I haven't been able to locate the Cave of Evil? I know the chances of Yoda leaving the pages there are slim, but stranger things have happened” Rey trails off for a second, letting her weary thoughts reorganize themselves before she speaks again “when I _did_ try to find it....Luke's old coordinates led me to nothing but a big pile of rubble.” 

Ben's body stiffens underneath her, an audible and sharp intake of breath alerting Rey to his discomfort.

It immediately shakes Rey from her drowsiness, eyes penetrating and alert as she bolts upwards. 

“Ben...?” she asks with trepidation. His expression tightens as he avoids her eyes, cheeks paling as he clears his throat awkwardly. 

“Ben....what is it?” Rey asks again. 

Ben sighs heavily before squeezing his eyes shut, jaw twitching as he forces himself to speak. 

“The Cave of Evils is gone.... during my training with Snoke.....I destroyed it” 

Rey’s mouth falls open in shock, eyes widening as she mulls over his admission. 

“Why?” she splutters in reply, dropping her head to his shoulder as she takes a deep breath. This is an unfortunate complication she had never anticipated.

Ben shifts again, eyes squeezing shut as he prepares himself to speak.

“When I was training here, I failed a big task and I didn’t want Snoke to find out..... because he'd make me do it again.....and I....I couldn't do it again” Ben exhales harshly, jaw twitching as he fights the sudden rise of anger and bitterness that erupts within him. Memories stirring long buried hatred.

“Task, what task?” Rey voice is more understanding this time as she rises once more to look at him. Ben hesitates as he tries to find the right words to explain. His chest expands as he takes a deep breath, forcing the words out once more.

“The Cave, it would....show you what you feared...show you the things that fed your anger and made you rage.....and I...." he gulps, pain welling behind his eyes before he continues "when I went in there, it showed me Luke.” 

Ben’s eyes are hard and dark when he looks at her, no remorse or regret shining back. 

But. 

She understands immediately what he is trying to say without him saying it. Rey doesn’t need him to explain why, to outline whatever he did in that dark cave and all the shameful little facets of it.

Not when she considers what the image of his uncle and would-be murderer would do to him at such a vulnerable moment. 

Rey knows this darkness. This burning need for revenge.

Because she would have done the same.

“Then....when that task was done, the Cave, it showed me my parents" Ben's breath shudders as his eyes grow glassy. A deep sorrow there as he bitterly reminisces what almost was.

"And....I couldn’t do what it wanted me to do. What Snoke wanted me to do.” 

His eyes are haunted when he meets her gaze. Tortured by the mistakes he's made.

But it is not Rey's place to absolve him of all the wrong he has done. She can only listen without judgement, to be compassionate and to acknowledge the darkness he had been forced to submit to, as well the strength he has found to overcome it again.

She can only try to see him, to know all the little broken parts of him that form his character and love him anyway for the flaws that come with this.

To adore him now with passion and know, deep in her heart.

She always will.

A silence stretches between them as Ben's eyes look at her desperately, waiting for her to react.

Rey simply frowns as she takes in his confession. 

“So you tore it down” she says quietly.

Ben bites at his lip as he nods in reply.

Rey regards him for a moment, taking it all in. Letting his story wash over her as she digests the information, to form only one response. 

Leaning down, Rey presses a lingering, soft kiss on his worried mouth. 

“Good.” she replies, giving him a small smile of tender understanding. Ben’s eyebrows rise in surprise at her lack of concern, still a little taken aback as she says nothing more. The matter settled for her tonight.

She instead sighs tiredly and settles herself once more into the crook of his shoulder. A small, tanned arm wrapping itself around his chest as he huffs in relief. 

And then thinks to himself, Gods how he loves this woman. 

This spitfire and well of infinite compassion.

He kisses her forehead, not knowing any other way to thank her.

Rey yawns in reply as she snuggles closer into his side.

“Let's go to the hut tomorrow” she mumbles contentedly as she feels Ben pull her tighter to him. 

“I’ll be there” he murmurs back against the crown of her head, even as he admits to himself, tomorrow will always be in the hands of the Maker and the fates that guide them. 

But he will try.

Fight with all his might to be there at her side.

As it should be.

* * *

  
In the morning when Rey wakes by herself, the left side of the bunk empty and cold, she realizes for the first time in days, she does not feel alone. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a chapter preview:
> 
> [Rey feels almost numb as they traipse their way through the jungle. Her feet following Ben's broad back in a trance, traversing every small pond and hazard without a single word between them. Ben has been somber the entire journey, the weight of their expectations laying heavy on his shoulders. Her own steps feel laden with dread, an anxious ripple of fear tinging this journey. An anticipation of the worst colouring their thoughts. 
> 
> Rey wishes he would just look back at her, assure her everything is going to be ok. 
> 
> But Ben, he doesn't know what to say. 
> 
> Doesn't know how to put into words what it means if Luke has been right all along. 
> 
> Even more so if his uncle has been wrong. 
> 
> Ben cannot bear to think upon the disappointment and despair that will fill him if this has all been for naught. To see the hope drain from Reys pretty face as she breaks apart. 
> 
> He fears for the worst and hopes for the best, dearly hopes, the Gods continue to look upon them with kindness. 
> 
> The clouds have started to return in this late afternoon lull, shrouding the swamp in gloom as they approach their destination with trudging steps. That clawing humidity creeping back into the air to stifle all their good humour. 
> 
> "We're here." Ben murmurs quietly, grinding to a halt in front of a murky, dank smelling lake. 
> 
> Rey searches the big open space of water with confusion, her expectations of where this journey would end utterly in disarray. 
> 
> None of this makes any sense and she dreads and fears what is bound to follow.]
> 
> -See you all in a few days for the next part !!!!


	11. A Rising Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben work together to find the missing texts, while a new darkness rises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> I hope everyone is keeping safe out there, we are about to go into lock down where I am.....which is strange I guess!  
> This chapter was supposed to be finished on Sunday, but I hit a small wall of writers block that didn't clear until now. I really appreciated all the new Kudos and comments on the last chapter and I hope you like this one too.
> 
> A lot happens, I mean ALOT, and it is the start of our next arc :)
> 
> If you have any thoughts or suggestions for the next chapter please do let me know. I welcome it :)
> 
> I'll update asap.
> 
> Stay safe everyone,  
> RedCatRen

The late morning is grey and misty but relatively dry, when Rey finally leaves the confines of the Falcon. Her body still tired, but spirit infinitely light than she had felt in days, as though she knows, today will be the day it all comes together.

Ben is a pleasant, warm buzz at the back of her mind as she sets to work. Absent in body, but very much present as she goes about her chores. The tight coil she holds upon him is a comforting tension and reminder he is not far from her but resting, just on the other side of their mirrored worlds.

Watching and waiting for passage back.

Rey knows it will not be long until the Force grants him time once more.

Clambering up the side of the ancient freighter, she carefully inspects the dull metal of its surface. Giving the beaten shell of her old ship a once over. 

She had be concerned the constant damp has been playing havoc with this temperamental beast, but it seems her concerns have all been in vain.

Sighing softly, she was thankful to see the Falcon is in relatively good order considering Dagobah's unfortunate conditions. 

Even still, there are few matters she must attend to before she ventures out this fine day. No point chancing fate for the sake of idleness.

Whatever Yoda had subtlety claimed is waiting for her in that small, humble hut on the other side of this swamp, is not going anywhere anytime soon!

The sun has finally broken through the gloom and mist for the first time in days, by the time Rey finishes her repairs.

Its  r ay’s b urning through the fog until the forest is  gloriously  dappled , and golden wit h light.

There is a soft, cool breeze running around the glade now . The gentle wind pushing the last of the morning's clouds to the far edge of the sky’s small horizon. Releasing the worst of the days heat into the  vibrant  open azure of  the day.

Rey is relieved by it

The sweat on her brow and back, infinitely more manageable this morning than in the days before.

She finds, for once, she can enjoy her time outside in this often-harsh jungle.

It makes her hopefully her good luck will endure.

"D-O, how about a walk buddy?" Rey teases turning back to her watchful companion, knowing full well the little droid is guaranteed to refuse.

" _ No thank you. Outside dirty _ " he trills, beeping indignantly as he zips up the gangway as predicted. 

Rey chuckles to herself, adjusting her knapsack on her shoulders as she sets off down the familiar path to Yoda’s hut. Whistling contentedly to herself as she takes in the fine early afternoon. 

She smiles amiably at the docile, sunbathing lizards that watch her with indifference a she journeys. Their squat little bodies lounging amongst the drying foliage to make the most of the afternoon's rare sunshine.

Stepping her way over them with a huff of amusement, Rey carefully makes her way slowly passed the lazily, blinking creatures. Rolling her eyes at their general attitude of apathy.

Totally unperturbed by her presence, when only a few days before, they had scurried for cover at her mere sound of her voice. 

Now she is simply a minor inconvenience to their slovenly day!

Walking on, her smile deepens as she draws closer to the hut.

There's a sense of calm and contentment in the air today that has been absent for far too long. 

Stoking that hope in Rey that today the Maker will be in her  favour and that sense, she may be getting closer.

It is tentative feeling, an inclination and inching towards the answers that will lead to her heart's desire. Each step a small distance, but also, in a sense, a huge leap forward towards Ben.

Yoda’s words keep working their way around her  heads as she draws closer.

_ At the start we must begin. _

This time, she will listen.

The hut is very much the same hovel she had left three days before, when she finally  approaches it.

Off white and weather beaten, but almost beautiful in this golden light , t he smooth, curved edges aglow in  the afternoon haze. 

There's a soft drone coming from within its clay walls, high pitched and almost sweet as it rings towards  Rey's ears.

A call of sorts it seem s, as it is answered in turn by high chirps and squeaks a few moments later.

Crouching low as she peers in through the doorway, Rey spies the noisy culprits.

It is the  Nudj and her newly hatched young. 

It is a sight which  unexpectedly warms Rey’s heart. Seeing this new, small family.

Rey smiles as she watches t he gentle  Nudj ambling back to her nest, followed by a gaggle of little  baby blue hatchlings. The tiny lizards paying her no mind, chattering amongst themselves as they play. 

Their tiny bodies are less than the length of her palm, legs short and squat as they roll and chase each other around the hut. Rey smiles wider as she observes them quietly, crouching lower to avoid frightening them when she moves closer. 

The  Nudj drones again softly, calling her babies back to the nest. She warily eyes Rey as she stops inching her way in covertly. The babies look back at Rey with a curious cock of their heads, chirping sweetly before trotting back to their mother with happy little skips.

Rising a little and onto her knees, Rey smiles at the  Nudj sheepishly. Of course, the vigilant creature had seen her, she had been as subtle as a brick!

Rey nods to the saffron eyed reptile as she starts to work her body  further inside. No point trying to be subtle anymore.

The  Nudj seems to grunt in reply before retiring further into her nest,  small brood of babies following in turn.

"Maker above, that is a glorious ass" Ben whistles behind her suddenly, startling Rey so bad she whacks her head against the low roof.

Rey bumps her head again in a daze as she clambers out of the tunnel with a smile. Unable to help her obvious happiness at seeing him again so soon.

"Quit staring at it and come help me" she counters, rubbing at the minor abrasion on her head as she grins up at him

“Give me something better to stare at and maybe I will” he replies coyly, leaning against the hut with an artful cock of his dark eyebrow. Rey scoffs loudly in incredulity at his boldness.

“Maybe later if you’re lucky” she smirks up at him, resting on her knees as she waits for him to follow suit “Right now I need a second pair of eyes in this hut”.

Ben balks at the suggestion, eyeing the doorway with a skeptical frown.

"If you think I am going to fit in there, you are sorely mistaken.” he laughs caustically, pointing at the narrow passage in disbelief.

Rey pouts at him, not liking his bluster one bit.

"Sometimes appearances can be deceptive. You'll fit " she bites back.

  
Something devilish flashes through Ben’s gaze as he appraises her stubborn bearing there in the mud below him. Even as he crosses his arms across his chest in defiance, there is a playfulness to his smirk.

"Not a chance."

Rey glowers at him sulkily, all humor draining from expression.

"Why can’t you trust me.... sometimes things are bigger than they look. Believe me I know"

"I should certainly hope so, you seem to be at the perfect angle right now" Ben smirks deeper, eyes flashing with mirth. Rey flushes a scarlet as she catches his meaning.

Scoffing loudly again, his attempts at impishness inciting ire instead of  humour .

“Gods! Why is it as soon as I sleep with you, _immediately_ you turn into this horny teenage boy.” she growls sorely, scowl deepening as he snickers in reply.

“Well perhaps, stop saying  saying suggestive things whilst on your knees and looking up at me so damn cute....and maybe, just maybe...I’ll get my mind out of the gutter” he shoots back, flashing her a toothy grin. 

Rey grits her teeth, trying and for once succeeding in holding back the urge to grin back at him dopily. He is too damn charming for his own good

Biting her lip, she fixes him a hard glare.

"If you have any hope of ever getting me on my knees again, I advise quitting while you're ahead”

Ben chokes at the implication of this sordid promise, a twitch of interest rising in his trousers, but holds his tongue as requested. 

Nodding in agreement. 

"Come on" she says a little more gently, head gesturing toward the hut " I need your help "

Ben sighs in defeat but does as he is asked. Following her through the low doorway with a grimace.

It is a tight fit, but somehow his broad body squeezes through the narrow passage. His knees and hands soon cold and wet from the damp leaves that still litter the hut’s floor.

"Well this is cozy" he smirks sardonically, shifting to sit beside her in the middle of the room. His big body folding inwards to avoid crushing her into the opposing wall. His broad shoulders particularly are a problem, Ben having to angle them slightly to fit in sort of comfortable position.

"Oh stop complaining, at least you didn't hit your head" Rey snaps back, narrowing her eyes at him.

Ben snorts as he looks around the gloomy hut, squirming as he tries to get comfortable.

"It is truly disgusting in here" he drawls, flinching a little as a stray bug scuttles across his hand.

"I have seen worse" Rey mutters ruefully, gently moving another overly curious anthropoid from her shoulder.

"Of course you have" Ben replies with smirk as he looks back at her with affection. Rey rolls her eyes at him but smiles in return after a beat. Her eyes a soft green in the relative darkness of the sheltered room. 

Ben gaze remains on her as they stare at one another. His hand seeking hers as he brushes his thumb over her knuckles.

"What now?" He asks quietly. Rey shrugs, her eyes never leaving his as she whispers back.

"I'm not sure"

Ben hums in reply, licking his lips as he traces her face. Amber gaze alight in the thin bands of sunlit that filter through the cracks in the roof. Casting his features into a warm glow and bathing each flittering of emotion behind his gaze, into stark contrast.

He is enraptured by her in this quiet moment, for she truly is a thing of divinity within this wreckage of a place.

Her gently curling chestnut hair framing those vibrant hazel eyes of hers like a halo of chocolate, pulling him in and stealing his breath.

"You look beautiful today by the way" he finds himself saying quietly, leaning closer as Rey blushes heavily. 

"Hardly" she stutters back, smiling shyly as he kisses her forehead  unexpectedly .

"I'm just cleaner than I was yesterday." 

Ben snorts again, running his free hand along her jaw. Fingers tracing a line along her cheekbone.

"Just take the compliment sweetheart, I know a treasure when I see it"

Rey huffs softly as she tries not laugh at him awkwardly. His sweet words twisting her stomach into knots.

" I believe the phrase, love is blind, is an apt response to that misguided comment"

Reys eyes twinkle with affection even as she gently rebukes his flowery words.

" Clearly" he sighs mordantly "what other reason would you have to look twice at this dour, plain face"

Reys smile is sweet as she raises her hand to his cheek, looking deeply into his depthless, expressive eyes. 

"Plenty, I have plenty." She whispers earnestly.

The corner of Ben's lip quirks up as he leans closer, pressing the softest of kisses to her plush mouth.

"Then perhaps you really are blind" he teases back, playing with stray hairs at the nape of her neck. Rey laughs lightly, pushing him away with a benign shove. Ben's face brightens further as he grins cheekily.

She is not the only one who is beautiful Rey muses to herself as Ben's dimples deepen in his cheeks, grin widening as he laughs at her heartily. 

He is so unassumingly handsome like this.

So truly carefree and brimming with good  humour .

"Come on...enough flattery and flirting" Rey smiles despite her more solemn tone "let’s see if there's anything here I missed last time"

Ben sighs in resignation but does not argue, turning reluctantly towards the tight hollow closest to him. Tossing through as much of the vegetative dross as he can find without another word.

Rey sets to checking her side with a hum, moving to rest on her hands and knees as she searches the littered floor below them.

Checking every little crevice to ensure there is no inch or part she has overlooked.

Ben's sudden yelp a few moment later jolts her attention back to him after only a brief forage in the detritus.

He looks back at her sheepishly as he points to the darkest edge of the hut. His eyes flicking back to the small nook the  Nudj family had scampered off towards not long before, blushing at her with scarlet cheeks.

Sure enough, the young mother is hissing at him touchily in warning before retreating once more into the nest.

"Sorry, the lizard took me by surprise " Ben flushes, utterly embarrassed by his skittish  behaviour .

Rey grins back at him, letting out a bark of laughter.

"You are such dunderhead sometimes"

Ben's self-conscious half smile is utterly endearing as he scratches at the back of his head. 

“I know” he drawls coyly earning another bright, teasing smile from Rey as she laughs.

Slowly his bashful look starts to fade, a curious frown forming as his eyes drop to space just in front of her chest.

"What?" Rey blinks back at him suspiciously, turning her head to look down.

"No." Ben orders gruffly, suddenly surging forward to catch her chin "don't move"

Reys eyes narrow at him, but she does as he requests.

Gingerly Ben lowers his hands to the dull chain that hangs from her neck, removing the warm pendant from between her breasts as he studies it. He slips the chain from her neck without a word, frown deepening as he examines each side.

"Eh Ben...?" Rey begins, looking up at him with interest. But Ben pays her no heed, holding the pendant up on the air as turns it back and forth.

“What are you...”

"Can you sit back a little?' He interrupts, not even looking at her.

Rey frowns at him but does not ask anything further before she pushes her weight up from her hands and sits back onto her heels. Watching with growing interest, utterly intrigued by his abrupt change in  demeanour .

It then, once she has leaned back far enough, that Ben lowers the pendant into the golden stream of light flooding into the hut. The brilliant glow filling the space as Rey moves further away from the narrow doorway. 

Ben carefully angles the small pendant in the encroaching beams that bisect the small hovel, shifting it back and forth until Rey sees it, plain as the nose on her face. 

A collection of numbers forming on the opposite wall, the shadow of the pendant revealing a neat line of planetary coordinates stamped into the thin metal. Each number and dot are illuminated by the narrow motes of light that pass through the miniscule gaps etched into the seemingly dull, malformed trinket. 

Casting long shadows throughout the hut as the numbers light up the space all around them.

Rey realizes then, she has been wearing the answer to her questions  _ on her chest _ this entire time.

A hot line of tears pricking at her eyes before she even has time to comprehend the significance of this moment.

"I believe" Ben exhales in disbelief, his gaze steady as he looks at her with shining eyes "we may have found what you were looking for".

* * *

Rey feels almost numb as they traipse their way through the jungle. Her feet following Ben's broad back in a trance, traversing every small pond and hazard without a single word between them. Ben has been somber the entire journey, the weight of their expectations laying heavy on his shoulders. Her own steps feel laden with dread, an anxious ripple of fear tinging this journey. 

An anticipation of the worst coloring their thoughts.

Rey wishes he would just look back at her, assure her everything is going to be ok.

But Ben, he doesn't know what to say.

Doesn't know how to put into words what it means if Luke has been right all along. 

Even more so if his uncle has been wrong.

Ben cannot bear to think upon the disappointment and despair that will fill him if this has all been for naught. To see the hope, drain from  Reys pretty face as she breaks apart.

He fears for the worst and hopes for the best, dearly hopes, the Gods continue to look down upon them with kindness.

The clouds have started to return in this late afternoon lull, shrouding the swamp in gloom as they approach their destination with trudging steps. That cloying humidity creeping back into the air with a vengeance to stifle what little good humor remains.

"We're here." Ben murmurs quietly after what seems like a century, grinding to a halt in front of a murky, dank smelling lake.

Rey searches the big open space of water with confusion, her expectations of this journeys end utterly in disarray. 

None of this makes any sense and now she dreads and fears what is bound to follow.

"Are you sure?" Rey blanches, a hint trepidation bleeding its way into her voice. Ben nods tersely with a furrowed brow, showing her the location on the navigation pad clutched in his hand. Sure enough, the icon on the screen throbs a vibrant red, the beacon centered on the lake directly in front of them.

The coordinates do not lie.

"This doesn't seem right, why would he choose the lake?"

Ben shrugs his shoulders as he stares out at the misty, unwelcoming body of water. Expression sour as he tries to understand. 

"Do you think it could be at the bottom?" Rey tries again, hesitantly searching the shore for signs that will help them.

Ben shakes his head, jaw twitching as he mulls over this unwelcome mystery. 

"No....Yoda may have been a little eccentric, but he wasn't completely devoid of good sense."

Rey huffs loudly in response but does not argue. Choosing to take Ben's opinion on this then her own sneaking suspicion Yoda had lost his  kriffing mind in the end.

Exhaling loudly in frustration as her hand scrubs over her face, she valiantly fights the rising urge to rage and scream at this new development.

Bemoaning the fact at present she seems to move two steps back for every step she takes forward.

"Maker! This is impossible" she growls, clenching her fists tightly. Scowling heavily as she traces the rancid waters of this swampy hell hole. Seeing nothing but stagnating slime and algae in her direct  eyeline . 

Rey is in half a mind to stalk back to Yoda’s hut in a fit of rage and raze the damn thing to the ground in petty retribution. 

"What now?" she sighs tiredly, finally catching Ben's similarly dissatisfied face.

He gives her a sardonic smirk as he too exhales heavily, weariness washing over his features.

"Fancy a swim?" he replies flippantly after a beat "the water looks lovely "

Rey cracks a smile at him, snorting at the ridiculousness of this situation.

"Not really"   
“Didn’t think so” Ben smirks back.

Behind them the sun makes one last determined attempt to break through the steely grey clouds forming in the late afternoon sky, casting a long, narrow channel of light across the murky lake. The weakened flare expels just enough energy to illuminate a small, dark shape through the fog.

A tiny mass of land set just beyond the farthest reaches of the ether.

There is an island there within the mist, small and shrouded against the prying eyes that sought to find it.

But Rey sees it, her keen eyes catching that one brief, clear view of it the failing light allows. Memorizing its shape and the dark shadows of its hilly terrain as the sunlight dips again.

The faint line of it fading once more into the gloom.

Ben sees the change in her face as her posture straightens, a renewed determination flickering in her features. When she meets his eyes again, he knows, she's found the way.

* * *

In the end, they have no choice but to swim.

There is no boat or errant slab of wood buoyant enough to help them cross. To reach the island, there is no other option.

The water is an off-putting lukewarm temperature as they carefully slip from the boggy shore into the lake.

It hard work to slowly make their way across the soupy, stinking mass. Trying in earnest, not to breath in the foul odor that wafts up after each, new careful stroke. It is impossible not to focus upon how the filmy slime on its surface seems to bind itself upon their skin. Coating them in the stagnant mess of decay.

Ben stokes are measured and even as he follows close behind Rey, whispering words of encouragement as they move through the fog. 

He can see how her shoulders tense as she swims as calmly as she can muster, fear tightening Rey’s chest and limbs as she struggles forward. 

She is terrified, and rightly so.

Each draw and pull through the water they make, must cause as small a ripple and as little noise as possible. Each stroke heedful and slow in order to avoid rousing the ever watchful  Dragonsnake .

Just the thought of meeting that beast on land is enough to fill them both with dread, let alone meeting the monster of this  hellscape as she struggles across the lake in tight, uncoordinated motions. 

Rey is deliriously thankful when the edge of the little island's shore begins to rise from the mist, pebbles and weeds meeting her feet as she stands and races from the water. Ben is not far behind, breathing deeply as he comes to rest on a small boulder.

Relief washing over him as he shakes the dank water from his hair.

His eyes seek her out after a long moment, head rising to meet her glazed stare as she fights to calm her nerves.

"You okay?" Ben asks kindly, reaching out to catch her hand in his. Rey blinks rapidly at him, nodding as she seems to gather her thoughts. 

"I'm fine " she shakes "that was just disgusting"

"You're telling me" Ben drawls in reply, reaching forth to brush some of the lake's debris from her arms and shoulder.

His own body is just as tainted, streaked brown and green in patches along his chest, his hair matted and hard with silt.

Ben is certain he looks a state.

In different circumstances Rey would have had no problem in teasing him about the haphazard condition of his face and usually impeccable locks, but right now, her thoughts rest elsewhere entirely. 

"Come on" she says quietly, pulling at his hand "let's see what we can find".

She lets go of him as they approach the steep incline of the main shore, both hands a necessity to summit this rocky terrain.

The freshwater isle appears to be  be barely bigger than the Falcon in circumference, but is steeply hilled by stacks of shifting, flinty stones.

Rey is entirely convinced this strange place is not a natural feature of Dagobah, but the creation of outside forces a dynasty or two ago. The dark grey shale and flint of the geography utterly at odds with the lush jungles that surrounds it. There's something too measured and deliberate about it, something off kilter in the atmosphere that slowly gives her a thrumming headache. 

The Force is strong here but warped somehow beyond her recognition. 

When she looks back to mention this strange feeling to Ben, she finds him gone. 

In fact, there's a stillness around her now that unnerves and strikes fear almost immediately. Nothing feels right.

Rey tries to reach out, to seek Ben’s small flicker in the Force, but she cannot sense anything. Not the warm reassurance of his small spark at the back of her mind, not the pinpricks of life in the jungle around her or the vibrations of the galaxy in her fingers.

She feels nothing.

As though a wall has grown between her and the Force, repelling all traces of Ben’s comforting presence.

She is alone and vulnerable for the first time in years.

" Kark " Rey curses, she will have to do this by herself. 

Climbing higher up the slippery surface, she is met here and there by the curious stares of  Pikobi’s resting amongst the few areas of flat, stable boulders. The amphibious creatures soaking up the last of afternoon’s heat, before they set off to hunt their next meal in the depths of the lake. 

Beady eyes barely take notice of her after a while, their attentions instead drawn to the bubbles of fish coaxed to the surface by afternoon’s flurry of insects.

As such, Rey pays them little heed either.

She carry's on, forcing her way to the top with heaving breathes and straining muscles. Her body is exhausted when she finally reaching the peak. The heat and humidity draining her just as much as the strange energy of this place. Nausea rippling in her gut and head swimming with clouded pain.

Collapsing to her knees, Rey closes her eyes for a moment to try  regather her strength. Pulling deep, steady breathes into her lung as waits for her roiling stomach to calm.

Opening her eyes, her pain and queasy feelings are momentarily forgotten as she spots something through the hazy mist. 

Just to her right there is a slight depression in the ground, the stone there a darker shade, almost obsidian in contrast to the steely grey of the island. Moving closer, Rey can see hidden under the smaller grey stones obscured from view, is a collection of stairs set into a narrow subterranean tower. 

Each stone step is roughly cut and uneven, its surface a matt black so dark it reflects little light back at Rey when she activates her saber. Arching her body to peer down into a seemingly endless void of the tower’s inky depths. 

She has no idea how far it goes, the darkness shrouding any feature or marker beyond the first four groups of steps. Reaching for a pebble, Rey let's it drop into the abyss, listening keenly for the telltale sound of its impact. 

Much to her relief, the loud smack of stone hitting stone, reverberates almost immediately. 

She will not have far to go.

Making her way carefully down the uneven stairway,  Reys pounding headache increases tenfold the further she ventures into the dark. That sickly roll of nausea returning and causing a cold sweat to spread across her face and chest. Hands growing clammy against the hilt of her sabre.

None of this is helped by the sour taste in the air that folds itself around her tongue, tainting every breath she takes.

Sighing deeply, Rey pushes past the feverish discomfort and walks on. Determined she will not be cowed and beaten by her own weak spirit. 

It does not take long to reach the bottom of the flight, the ground hard and unforgiving beneath her boots.

Craning her neck upwards, Rey is relieved to see the familiar grey, expanse of  Dagobahs stormy sky. The light above her reassuringly closer to bottom of the tower than she anticipated. Even still, none of its warmth seems to reach down the narrow channel of rock where she stands alone.

It is cooler here in the gloom, wet clothes sticking to her skin as she shudders against the change in temperature.

Tearing her eyes back to the darkness that surrounds her, Rey swallows deeply. A shiver of fear running up her back as she forces her body forward. A sinister, coldness spreading in the stagnant air of the tunnel ahead. 

The thudding in her head abates a little as she walks deeper into the heart of this small isle. But her unease, that sense that something is not quite right, remains like a thorn in her chest.

There is a malignancy here, an entity of darkness that unnerves her. 

The yellow, warm light of her sabre is her only solace. Providing a sense of security even as she ventures into the unknown. 

The low tunnel soon widens out into a small rounded chamber, the walls of which are a dark grey stone much like the tower she had descended.

There is another smaller tunnel to her left she could explore but judging by the faint sound of dripping water and constant light patters, she is certain this path will lead directly into the lake.

By now the pounding in her head has become unbearable again, clouding her vision as she scours the chamber with the dim light of her sabre. Yet still she presses on, gritting her teeth against the agony between her temples.

She can taste blood in her mouth, lip split with the force of her will to ignore the thundering pain wracking her body. Her jaw so tense it begins to ache with the effort of holding herself together.

But Rey keeps searching, using her sabre to light every inch of the unforgiving stone wall.

Eventually the shape of something set into the farthest edge of the chamber comes into view, a tabernacle of sorts carved deeply into the featureless bedrock below.

There is a large, circular band cut around a smaller square of whittled stone, scored here and there with symbols Rey cannot quite see in the gloom.

Moving closer, she sees the charcoal colored stone has been purposefully chipped away, to reveal another lighter, almost silver pair of slabs. Finish of each is polished to a shine, with thin, ornate decoration twisting across each stone.

They serve as doors of some sort for the small sanctum, guarding a treasure Rey already suspects lays inside.

Each slab has an inscription etched upon it, in language Rey does not understand.

A welcome perhaps or maybe more troubling, a message to serve as a warning to those who seek its secrets.

She hopes for her sakes it is the first.

Studying the beautiful, twisting lines of the silvery stones' artwork, Rey tries to find a way to open the shrine. 

There are no handles or catches that she can see which will assist.

Nothing to cling to or use to pull them apart.

She knows she will not be able to use the Force, her connection to it dulled to a whisper by whatever sits on the side of this wall of rock.

Tracing the lines of the doors once more, irritation growing, Rey’s attention falls on a small cut in the masonry. A simple semicircular moon is carved there at the base of the twinned slabs.

Curiosity piqued; Rey inspects it closer

Pressing it with her finger gingerly, she discovers it is not part of the solid stone piece above. Its shape moving inwards independently to the doors as she bears down harder.

The half-moon token immediately pops back when she stops the pressure on it, rolling back out into place on a hidden mechanism.

There is a clanking sound from the other side, a groaning, heaving complaint as though something fights against her actions. 

Rey is certain this lever is the way to open the shrine doors if she is persistent.

She tries again, but the catch within does not budge one inch.

Frowning, she begins to think, her mind turning over the problem as she studies the symbol once more.

There is obviously something more to this than sheer brute strength and unerring  obstinance .

Playing with the chain around her neck, Rey tries to focus on the solution as her head continues to pound in earnest.

But then as her thoughts drift and her frustration grows, an idea strikes

A short gasp escapes her as she reaches into the front of her sodden robes and retrieves the cold, hard link of chain from her neck. Holding the medallion up to her eye line as she looks between it and the emblem scratched into the stone. 

The dull pendant lines up perfectly with the  halfmoon as she shakily places it inside.

“ _ Please _ ...” she begs quietly.

Pressing again into the stone, she feels the thin metal slip down into a hidden groove at the base of the rudimentary lock. 

An audible click swiftly follows as the silver stone doors slowly crack open and slide apart, revealing compartment inside no bigger than the knapsack still tied around her shoulder.

There, in the middle of musty smelling compartment, sits an ordinary, non-descript box. 

The simple, metallic surface of it shines in the light of  Reys sabre, reflecting the image of her pale, worried face back at her. 

The pain in head increases as she stares at it, a fresh grinding pressure against the sides of her skull. Her vision doubles as she tries to breath her way through it, great gulping lungful's of air doing little to improve the ache.

Trying her best to ignore it, Rey grits her teeth once with a growl and forces her hand to rise and reach inside the hollow.

Her head explodes with pain as soon as her fingers close over the cold edges of the box. The intensity of it causing her to fall onto her knee’s, consciousness shifting to black as she faints.

* * *

In that temporary darkness, as her body becomes a vessel once more for the Force, her mind overcome with racing memories and visions of the past. 

Voices filling the cavity of this inky chamber as it washes over her like a wave upon the shore.

Voices that bring her peace and stoke her terror.

“The belonging you seek is not behind you....it is ahead”

_ “You're so lonely... So afraid to leave... At night, desperate to sleep” _

_ “Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night” _

_ “Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong” _

_ “Please” _

There is a familiarity to it, a comfort of the things that have gone before.

But there is also a pain, a torment found in the knowledge of the mistakes that had been made.

_ “I know everything I need to know about you!” _

_ “You do? Ah, you do”. _

_ “Darkness rises and light to meet it.” _

_ “Your journey nears its end” _

_ “Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi” _

_ “The dark side is in our nature. Surrender to it” _

_ “Don't be afraid of who you are _ ”

All at once her, grandfather’s insidious voice keeps ringing louder in her head, fighting to be heard as it battles against her  subconsciousness .

_ “I have been every voice. _ .. _ you have ever heard....inside your head _ .”

_ “Long have I waited and now, your coming together is your undoing.” _

_ “As once I fell, so falls the last Skywalker.” _

“ _ Empress  _ _ Palpatine _ _ ” _

Rey battles back against his intrusion, even in her weakened state she fights its twisted presence with all her might to scour him from her thoughts. 

Somehow pushing that sour memory to the side and focusing on another warmer, soothing voice as it breaks through again.

_ “You are not alone” _

_ “Neither are you” _

The dark storm within her calms and with it, does the Force. A new vision rising from the depths as she surrenders herself to it.

There is an island.

An island set among a raging sea; its horizon beset by fiery lightening. A loud booming roll of thunder shakes the ground around her.

All at once, Finn’s voice’s roars in her ear, desperate and filled with fear.

_ “Let go Rey, please let go! Don’t do this” _

There is another crackle, an ominous thundering sound around her and instantly the air is knocked entirely from her lungs.

Each heave of her chest gives her no relief.

She is drowning.

Rey surrenders to it and all at once, the darkness overtakes her once more.

* * *

It is an indeterminate amount of time later before Rey comes around again.

Her head is still aching, but the pain of before now feels less of an agony and almost  manageable as she rises from the floor.

As though her body is adjusting to the strange energy and pressure that emanates from the small chest still clutched in her hands.

Rey pinches her brow, trying to gather her bearings as her headache abates little by little.

She is thankful to find her sabre is resting not far from her thigh as she searches for it in the inky black chamber. Her hands find the hilt, shaking a little as she ignites it and breathes deeply.

Her mind still thrown into disarray by the visions she had endured.

But she does not have time to contemplate it in depth right now, keen to leave this dank, horrible cave as soon as possible.   
Shoving the small metallic chest into her knapsack, Rey sighs heavily before clambering to her feet stiffly.

Intent on wasting no more time her as needed.

Leaning forward to retrieve the pendant from its lock, she gives the tabernacle one last look.

Humming to herself as she turns on her heel and makes her back way towards the tunnel.

Rey is just at the edge of the low passage, when a frigid coldness engulfs her.

_ “Granddaughter, how nice it is to see you again _ ” a chillingly, familiar voice calls to  her. Causing her feet to grind to a halt in an instant.

Rey whips around as she gasps in shock, breath stuttering as she searches the inky dark.

But there is nothing there, at least nothing she can see with her own eyes.

Yet she can sense that spiteful presence is still watching, taunting her as it surrounds her in the stygian tunnel.

_ “Such power you possess, why do you hide from it child”  _ the voice whispers again, the rasp of its ragged breath growing closer.

The presence laughs once more as she shudders, a rippling maw of malignant energy that churns the air around them as Rey is frozen in place. 

Shaking uncontrollably as she tries to calm her rising panic.

"You're not real" Rey trembles as she closes her eyes and tries  centre herself. To counter this loss of balance,

But her attempts to ignore her rising dread, utterly fail as the ghost torments her relentlessly.

_ "Oh but I am real, I am as real as that cold breath at your back. As real as that thought that lives always at the back of your mind. Disturbing your rest _ " her grandfather’s  spectre hisses.

There is sudden another chill as cold, ghostly  fingers trace their way up her arm, making Rey jump and strike out with her sabre. 

Her fretful eyes flashing open as she searches the pitch black.

She swings again as the ghoul brushes down her back, her  vicious sabre strike meeting nothing but stone and stale air as the dark entity laughs.

  
“S _ uch _ _ rage, such POWER _ ” Palpatine purrs again proudly “ My child,  _ I see the potential that lies in you. My true successor, I see it all _ .”

“Shut up!” Rey screams, swinging her weapon again as the yellowed sparks of her sabre light up the shale wall, stone fragments smoldering as they tumble to the ground beside her.

“You...are not...REAL” she cries out in anger.

“ _ Oh but I am my child and I see all that you cannot deny. Your rage is growing day by day and without young Solo, you are becoming unbalanced my progeny. _ ”

The  spectre swirls around her again, grazing against her shoulders. Rey growls in fear and frustration, whipping around the inky, black tunnel as she strains her eyes to catch him. 

Crouching defensively, but not lashing out this time as she holds her sabre aloft.

“You know nothing” she hisses back.

“ _ I know everything Rey”  _ Palpatine's voice drones in her ear __ _ “I _ _ know what you did to the  _ _ Bogwings _ _ and I know what you still want to do to me. _ ” 

Palpatine cackles with glee as his presence shifts behind her.

“ _ You are filled with hate for me, consumed with it _ ”

“Liar” Rey hisses, tears starting to prick at her eyes. Because there is some truth to the horrible things he says.

She loathes him with every  fibre of her being, wants to crush him until there is nothing left of his legacy but dust and  half-forgotten memory.

Her hatred blinds her.

“ _ No, the only liar here is you. _ ” her grandfather whispers lowly, suddenly sickeningly close “ _ You lied to your friends. You lie still now to yourself _ ”.

Rey breathes deeply, chest heaving as she fights to control her agitation. Closing her eyes again, she tries to balance her feelings once more.

"You are not real. I destroyed you , banished you into nothing ." She whimpers, willing herself to find a sense of calm.

Instead her grandfather’s sinister laugh rings out once more, taunting her.

" _ Destroy me! My child.... _ " He urges, bony, pallid hands grasping hers almost tenderly.   
He is there when she opens her eyes, mere inches from her face in the golden light of the  lightsabre .

His smirk is a sickly grimace on his face as he leers at her. The loose, horrid flesh on his cheeks is falling from the bone, facial muscles exposed as the remaining skin there glows a mottled green.

Decaying and smelling of death.

Despite his horrifying, decrepit visage,  i t is his eyes  t hat unnerve her most.

The once human sphere’s utterly sunken into the grey sockets of his skull, rotting into a milky mess of orbital flesh.

Compared to the horrific and seemingly demonic imitation of the Emperor that had greeted her on  Exegol , this putrescent fiend is infinitely more terror inducing.

His decaying, disintegrating features twist into a nightmarish smile as he lurches forward again.

Rey falls onto her back as she stumbles to get away from him.

" _ I am you.... _ ” he urges ominously, looming over her

Leaning closer the horrific image of her grandfather’s face reanimates into a near perfect duplicate of her own likeness. 

“ _ and you will always be a  _ _ Palpatine _ " the  doppleganger smirks disdainfully.

"NO!” Rey growls back defiantly, arching her sabre up and through the spectre as she leaps to her feet.

The apparition laughs as Rey’s blow slices through her hollow body.

“ _ You cannot deny the truth that is your family.....the ancient legacy which lives in you now _ ”

“Never. I will  _ never  _ be a part of that!” Rey retorts with finality even as tears fall down her face, glaring back at the taunting dark twin as she gives her a rictus grin in reply.

Rey growls at the dark spirit as it edges closer, turning on her heal as she tears down the dark tunnel towards the steps to freedom. The cold, malignant shadow seeming to follow her, even as she races her way up the obsidian steps and back towards the light.

“ _ You can run all you want my child, it will never change the truth of who you are _ _....who _ _ you really are....and reviving Ben Solo will never change that......Empress Palpatine. _ ”

The darkness sneers at her, the sickly, goading voice fading as she stumbles her way out of the small chasm and onto the grey pebbles with a wracking sob. Her mind overcome with grief and fear.

She takes another heaving breath before tearing off again.

Scrambling down the slippery, treacherous slope of the island towards the murky shore, Rey is barely aware of the driving rain as it whips once more around Dagobah, such is her desperation to leave this misery of a place. Tears obscure her vision as she continues to sob without control.

She is soon waist deep in the  opague , tepid water before it is even a conscious thought in her mind. 

Her strokes hurried and forceful through the murky, stinking expanse of it. 

The light is failing in the swamp lands around her, casting long shadows and a chill in the air as she struggles forward.

The relentless rain is pounding her head and shoulders, making it near impossible for her to see further than a foot or two in front of her.

Fleeing has left her aimlessly pushing forward without any  semblance of a plan.

And this is a fact that becomes apparent with glaring certainty like a  tonne of bricks.

Rey  realizes all too late in her directionless escape, she is lost, the shore no longer visible as she momentarily flounders in the water.

The sound of her sobs and frenzied, loud movements through the water, is more than enough commotion to draw the attentions of a pack of  Pikobi’s circling the island in search of food.

They can scent the blood spreading in the water, her wound from the  Bogwings the day before, splitting and oozing under the  bacta patch. Tearing apart and  weeping from her careless, over extended strokes.

The gash is only bleeding weakly, yet it is more than enough to interest the hungry pack with snarling excitement.

They pull closer, sensing her panic and vulnerability as she stalls in the water. Beady eyes infinitely more interested in her than that had been earlier, flanking her with low, concise growls. 

Their leader sizing her up carefully as they would any potential prey.

Rey can feel the predators brushing by her legs, small nips glancing off her calves as she whimpers in pain and fear. 

Her arms feel tired and her legs are not far off the same state as she fights to stay afloat.

She is at least thankful the  Dragonsnake has not yet been roused and  realized her position.

But this small mercy is likely to change as she thrashes against another  Pikobi intrusion, its small snout pulling at her foot.

Dragging her down below the surface and submerging her momentarily as she gasps in terror.

Rey knows she cannot use the Force, the metal chest still somehow blocking her connection to the universe around her as it rests against her body in the knapsack.

Her only chance is to swim for it. To get ashore as quickly as possible.

Kicking out at the increasingly bold amphibian hunters, Rey manages to stun one long enough to pull herself away. Sobbing again as she kicks wildly in the water, knowing if she stops  she will be dead.

The  Pikobi’s snap viciously at her legs as they follow close behind. Waiting to wear her out.

Rey swims as hard and as fast as she can, but she is losing power and energy quickly with every second that passes. The wound in her arm keeps opening further, the force of each new pull through the water an aching, stinging effort. 

She won't last much longer.

But then,  as if right on cue, there is a voice  through the gloom.

“ _ Rey _ ”

Ben words are like a flare through the dark, a homing beacon urging her closer with just one word. Adding fuel to her aching limbs, driving her forward.

She doesn’t know how Ben is managing to reach her. His rich voice through the fog perhaps nothing more than her imagination filling in the blanks she needs to help her survive.

And yet, she doesn’t  care.

Those sonorous tones are all she needs to keep her moving harder and faster.

“ _ Just listen to my voice, just follow it sweetheart. You’re almost there _ ”

The aquatic predators sense she is gaining strength, their attacks growing more and more aggressive as they see she is nearing the shore. Snapping jaws and arching claws scrabbling to catch her as she starts to clamber up the sticky, boggy bank. 

Rey’s flying fists meet one or two lunging beasts as they make a few last-ditch attempts to drag her back into the water. But she endures, hauling herself up the steep mound of the shore with one final well aimed kick to her last assailant. 

The remaining members of the pack hiss up at her unhappily, warily eyeing the weapon she lights in her left hand. Screeching at one another as they slip back into the water unhappily, enraged their easy meal has escaped their clutches.

Rey exhales in relief as the predators are soon lost to the fog and she allows herself to collapse onto the muddy ground. The heavy rain from above making the already marsh landscape  abdominally waterlogged.

“You’re okay.” she whispers to herself, allowing another relieved and almost pained sob to leave her body.

“You’re okay” she repeats, scrubbing at her face as her hysterics finally calm.

Finally finding the energy to stand again, Rey forces her exhausted limbs forward and back toward the Falcon.

It was time to see if all that aggravation and torture had been worth it.   


* * *

  
By the time Rey has finally makes it back to the freighter, night has fallen through the land.

Nothing stirs or attempts to challenge her this night, word having spread fast she is not an easy meal to secure.

The unseen beasts in trees leave her be, watching her march her way up the gangway with a flurry of anticipation and unease.

_ “Rey Friend hurt?”  _ D-O warbles as sympathetically as his little droid operating system will allow. Humming low as he sees the crimson run of blood staining her arm.

“It’s okay D-O" Rey replies softly, quietly honored he has finally called her  _ Rey . _

“I’m going to go fix it now”.

_ “Rey Friend. Be careful. D-O like” _

Rey smiles at the little machine, giving him a nod of gratitude.

“I like D-O too”.

The small droid gurgles happily, trailing after her as she goes to change out of her sodden clothes and patch her wound.

Rey can already imagine Ben’s fussing frown if she doesn’t, the chastening she will get if he  sees this new tear in her skin.

Somehow this thought, the comical way his natural flair for melodrama manifests in concern for her  well fair , it seems to lighten her heart.

Distracts from the worry this all been in vain.

It is not much longer before Rey returns to the main  hold, quietly sitting crossed legged on the  durasteel floor. 

Cautiously she removes the precious cargo from her knapsack with a slightly worried frown. Relieved to see it is relatively dry and unaffected by her frantic swim across the lake.

The metal seems to vibrate under her fingertips, a constant warmth there that seemed at odds with the cold, unyielding stone chamber it had rested in for almost half a century. 

Now she has the time to examine it carefully, she sees the weak flicker of an electric pulse resonating from the chest. The low frequency producing a constant electro pulse in the small area around it and operating much like a Force collar upon her.

It is clear the chests main purpose is to interrupt the smooth flow of energy in all those that come in proximity to it, thereby keeping its true, original design shrouded.

“Very clever Master Yoda" she mutters to herself, a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips.

There is no external way to disable it, the operating mechanism clearly tied to the locking system of the chest. It is flagrantly clear in every way; she will have to open the chest to stop it.

Rey finds as she studies the contraption closely, she had been entirely wrong in her initial impression of its plainness. Small, faint decoration covers its surface, the shining metal oddly beautiful in the soft cabin lights.

Tracing the light carved inscription, Rey ponders the meaning of each symbol. Its form a variant of  Auberesh she does not know  yet but hopes to master one day.

At the jagged edge of the strongbox, she finds a single deeper groove, a thin line that seems too deliberate to be anything but a keyhole.

Rey knows there is only one thing that will fit in that thin, scored gap.

Sliding the metal pendant into the latch, she twists twice, breathing deeply as a low click grinds under her hands. A spring jumps as the catch releases and the chest cracks open. That low drone of the electric pulse slowly dims and with its absence, all once the storm inside her clears.

In that moment the fog of confusion seems to lift from her mind, vibrant  colour and the full spectrum of the galaxy’s lifeforce, floods back through her once more.

She exhales heavily with the sheer bliss of it all, reaching as deep down into the darkness as she can go in her beaten, utterly exhausted state.

Finding Ben almost immediately.

That small spark of him flickering back into focus as she wraps her whole being back around it. Tethering him back to her with the tightest of grips.

In turn she feels his arms start to encircle her from behind, a blissful warmth filling her as Ben pulls her into to his chest and rests his forehead between her shoulder blades.

"Thank the Maker" he whispers softly, pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck as he clings to her "I thought I'd lost you"

Rey wraps her arms over his, leaning back into his embrace with a happy sigh. His presence there at her back a welcome, solid comfort. 

" You'll never lose me Ben, not really".

Turning slightly in his arms, she cups his cheek with a sad sort of smile.

"Parts of you and I will always find one another, even when, eventually, our bodies don't ". 

Ben's eyes soften to liquid chocolate as he looks down at her. A bittersweet smile joining hers.

"Just don’t that make anytime soon  Cyar’ika " 

Reys smile broadens as she tilts her head a little to kiss him.

"I wouldn't dream of it"

His expression softens further as he reciprocates, capturing her mouth in the gentlest of kisses. His lips barely brushing hers with deep sighs of contentment rumbling from his chest.

"Did you find it?"  Ben  asks hesitantly after a long moment, pulling back to regard her carefully.

Rey nods solemnly, eyes dropping as her face betrays the immediate apprehension. Shifting in his arms, she pulls away a little to let him see the chest. 

The top of it is still rests upon the small frame as she proffers it to him. Ajar but not fully open as it awaits steady hands to reveal what lies below. 

Contents waiting to be discovered. 

" I wanted you to be here before I looked inside" she says solemnly, moving to sit opposite him and pressing the chest further into his hands.

Ben gulps visibly, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he takes it into his hands without another word.

"This has to be it, right, no more nasty surprises" Rey asks with slight dread.

"Let's hope" Ben murmurs quietly, eyes stormy as he wishes the same.

“Are you ready?” he asks simply, finger pausing just at the edge of the chest. Wedging themselves into the gap as he waits patiently for her confirmation.

Rey nods solemnly, heart rate picking up as she watches Ben’s great paws tear open the chest without another word.

Time seems to slow down as it swings apart and she almost breaks down when she sees the pristine, unmistakable sight of neatly stacked papers within. They are old, much older than they look judging by the ink work and yellow fraying edges.

There is no doubt, they are the missing Jedi texts.

Face reddening, Rey tries to stop the welling of tears that spring from her eyes. Ben huffs in disbelief as he stares down at them in relief.

Meeting Rey’s eyes, they shine with hope, real hope for the first time in weeks.

“You did it.” he whispers proudly.

Rey laughs in reply, scrubbing at her tears.

“We did it” she says happily, placing her hands over his and guiding the chest to the space between them. 

Her hands shake as she starts to hastily rifle through the old texts, Ben  merely watching in a numb daze of relief.

Rey’s hands pause, her breath halting as she reaches a  particular page . Eye’s widening as she lifts it up higher.

Her gaze falls on Ben again as she gulps.

“I can’t read it.” she mumbles uncomfortably with reddened cheeks “The script is too old for me to understand, but I am sure it’s the right passage.”

“I can try” Ben replies earnestly, leaning forward with a sudden desperation “I studied all the known forms of  Auberesh in the Jedi temple”

“I know” Rey smiles at him with an almost teasing glint “I was counting on you being a diligent student”.

Ben smiles self-consciously but does not try counter her gentle needling.

Handing him the delicate, precious text Rey holds her breath as she waits from him to speak.

Ben’s dark eyes narrow as he concentrates, his jaw clenching visibly as he concentrates on the odd script.

After a long moment, his sighs heavily. Gaze lifting back to Rey with a tight expression.

“It...” he begins unhappily “It’s not clear on the location ..... it’s more like a riddle”

Rey’s heart plummets as her shoulders sag.

“What?” she whimpers, a sudden dread and disappointment burning in her gut.

“It says the gateway to the land of night, is found in a cave on the island beyond the stars.” Ben sighs again, placing the text back into the chest. His hands clenching into fists as his hope starts to ebb away.

Feeling like a fool for believing the Force would allow him mercy.

“That’s it?” Rey splutters, a new batch of tears rolling from her tired eyes. This time each is filled with fear and dejection. Ben nods in reply, jaw twitching as he fights the burning sensation of bile rising up his throat.

“I...” Rey begins again, a fresh sob pulling from her throat “I don’t understand”.

Reaching for her, Ben pulls her into his chest.

“It’s okay” he says sadly, holding her as she cries sorrowfully “You tried harder than anyone ever could.”

“No” Rey whimpers, pulling him tighter to her as she buries her face in his chest “Don’t talk like this is over, don’t give up yet”

“Rey...” Ben whispers painfully “You’ve done all you can, this is where the journey ends.”

Rey shakes her head as protests between, great whooping sobs.

“You have to let me go, you have to keep on living” Ben urges, chest tight as he numbly tries to accept the bitter future he faces.

“Promise me you’ll go on living, promise me you won’t shut yourself off to the galaxy like Luke did, punishing yourself for your seeming shortcomings”.

Rey freezes as he utters his uncle’s name, a thought striking her. A singular, shining thought fueled by memory and driven by a renewed hope.

“Luke” she whispers suddenly, eyes wide as her mind ticks over. Digesting this niggling proposition in the back of her mind. Not knowing how she didn’t see this before.

“Gods” she shudders, pushing away from Ben as a dreamy smile spreads across her face.

Ben watches her in growing confusion, baffled when she leaps to her feet and races toward her cabin.

“Rey?” he calls after her in trepidation, standing as he tentatively starts to follow her.

Ben soon finds her laughing to herself in the gloomy space of her bunk, an old tome open on her knees as she clutches at the pages.

“Rey?” Ben tries again, kneeling in front of the bunk and closing his hands over hers with a slight concern. Rey is still laughing to herself as she meets his eyes, the hazel a shining beacon of joy and happiness.

Ben can see it in her glowing smile, something has changed.

“ Ahch -To Ben, the gate is on Ahch-To" she laughs again, throwing the musty tome from her knees and holding his paling face between her hands.

“What?” Ben blinks back in disbelief, searching her face for doubt and finding none.

“That cave on the island beyond the stars, it’s the dark side cave on  Ahch -To. I have been there.” Rey smiles gleefully. Excitement growing as she beams at him so brightly; Ben cannot help but be swept up in it.

“The texts always referred to  Ahch -To as the island the far side of the sea or the island beyond the stars ....I just didn’t put it all together until now.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asks expectantly, searching her face one last time for any signs of uncertainty but finding nothing but overjoyed glee instead.

“More certain than I could ever be” Rey promises gravely.

Ben laughs too as he takes in this abrupt  turnabout of events.

“Wow....we actually have a chance” he answers shakily, cupping her face in his warm palm. Rey nods as another tear runs down her cheek. A growing sense between them that maybe, just maybe, they could find a way back to one another.

“We have a chance” she smiles ecstatically, pulling him closer to kiss him fervently. Unable to find any further words to express everything that was surging through her. The power of which was overwhelming and almost all consuming. 

“ Ahch -To” Ben whispers against her mouth.

“ Ahch -To” Rey replies with a sigh, guiding him into the bunk beside her as speech continue to be ineffectual in the face of this new boundless joy.

Finding answers and solace in the heat and breath that only their willing bodies can provide.

* * *

It is early the next day before Rey finally leaves Dagobah.

The texts and chest hidden securely in the farthest reach of the Falcon until this last mission ends. Rey has every intention to return the chest to the dark temple once this all ends, its secrets not hers to share with the Galaxy. But running the gauntlet into that hellish place again seems a step too far when there are more pressing things to attend to.

After the blissful delight of last night's revelations had subsided and reality had finally set in, it became clear that finding the gate and retrieving Ben were going to be two very different things.

She will not be able to do it alone, not this time.

Too much darkness is brimming now underneath her skin, aching to burst to the surface.

The inky, black of that cold tunnel had taught that at least, it had shown her the dark side covets her power even now.

Ben does not know all her reasons yet for this next, leaden filled step, believing it to be self-preservation and nothing more.

She has not told him of Palpatine's taunts or the dark vision that haunts her now.

Rey cannot let him know.

Cannot let him see the light that is starting to leech from her, the darkness that rise the deeper she dives to keep him here with her.

Ben would fight her, force her to let go.

And that is something she cannot let happen.

Setting a course for Endor, a sinking feeling of dread fills her for what she must do. Knowing it will take all her hope and determination to convince Finn to help her. 

All too aware of the burning hatred he still holds for  Kylo Ren and any trace of the First Order.

But she has to try.

Because.

Luke has been right all along, to do this alone will certainly kill her. Destroy the parts of her that she so desperately wants to save.

Rey cannot do this by herself.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will include ;Some small platonic FinnRey moments, more Reylo of course and some minor smut if requested.  
> The next chapter will include some short time jumps just to move this thing along .
> 
> See you all very soon.  
> -RedCatRen


	12. A Falling Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey spends some time on Endor, while Ben makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Sorry as per usual this chapter was a tad delayed. Turns out infinite time at home in quarantine does not always lead to productivity! Given what is happening out there in the wider world, I found it hard at times to finish this chapter. Anxiety on this occasion lead to some very serious writers block and it took me a while to push past it and let the chapter take shape.
> 
> This chapter also ended up being part 1 of a 2 part section on Endor as despite what I had planned in my head, the flow and focus of the chapters severely deviated into something different, but I feel, better for the story.
> 
> Endor pt. 2 will hopefully be up quicker than this installment as I hoping to have a shorter chapter than this one, which ballooned in word count every time I sat down to write it!
> 
> The chapter will more focus on platonic FinnRey moments with minor FinnRose and of course Reylo at the latter end of the story. I felt these last few chapters had been quite dark over all, so it was time to bring back in some much needed support. Every hero/heroine needs their posse to save the day!
> 
> I sincerely appreciated all the great comments and kudos on the last installment. The response blew me away and I haven't had a reaction like that in a while. Please do keep your comments and kudos (when merited) coming as it is keeping my spirits up at a time like this.
> 
> I hope everyone is keeping safe out there and I wish all my readers a continued health and happiness in these strange times.
> 
> Stay strong :)
> 
> See you all soon.
> 
> Much love  
> -RedCatRen
> 
> ps....please excuse all grammatical mistakes, I am posting at 4am UK time.

It is very early when a sharp, short knock wakes Finn. Jolting him out of sleep as his senses slowly come back to him.

The sky outside his small wooden cabin is  the deepest shade of  navy as he chances a look out the nearby window , the last of the  night’s stars  shine brightly between the treetops above him.

The chronometer by his bed  tells him it is the early hours of the morning as turns to squint at it, the acid  glow of the numbers  harsh in the dim light of the room.

Gently unwrapping Rose's  small  arm from his abdomen, he groans  loudly as he rises  toward the cabin door.

Feeling disoriented and utterly confused by the interruption.

It is far too early for Jannah to be fetching him for their daily walk at dawn, both blazing suns well below the far horizon to be even suggest a new day approaching. Furthermore, Jannah  had only just returned  last night  from Chandrilla after almost a week  spent  with Rey’s padawans and gaggle  of overenthusiastic younglings. 

Finn is certain  his friend  will not rise until well after sunup today.

Running through the other likely culprits thumping on his door, Finn draws a blank.

The persistent knock upon the thick wood is much too strong to be Mika's young hand. His eager padawan  knowing not to rouse him before the night’s inky darkness shifts to brilliant pink unless absolutely necessary.  This mistake  by the child  had been rectified many moons  ago .

As he reaches the door, Finn wracks his brain once more  for who would dare call on him at such an odd hour. Their most recent group of  former  stormtroopers had left  two days before  on a ship destined for  Chandrila and  the  headquarters of the  new galactic security forces .  There each newly reformed soldier  would be  rigorously  assessed before starting their reintegration  into the New Republic. 

Maz had gone with them, keen to relieve Jannah from her post and to tie up  some  business  interests  of her own in the Core World.

Another  platoon of troopers  is not due for at least a few days. He is sure of that.

Reaching into the Force, Finn finds the presence on the other side of the door an utter mystery. Its Force signature oddly familiar, but worryingly unstable when compared to his own relatively even toned bearing. 

The strength and heat  radiation from this new presence , is both unnerving and  dangerously  unsettling  at this late hour.  The threat in this stranger's power so intense and uncontrolled , he  already  fears  what he will face on the other side of this slim slab of timber .

Even still, Finn cannot ignore the persistent knocking just for the sake of wariness. 

Calling his sabre into his hand, he breathes deeply, ripping open the door as his weapon ignites.

But instead of the twisted features of an enemy, Finn is met by the surprised and innocent eyes of his oldest friend. Her sweet and beautiful face softening almost instantly when she sees him.

"Rey?" He stutters with the shock, scorching weapon falling to his side as his grip slacken. Its vibrant violet light quenched in the blink of an eye as he thumbs it off .

"Hi" Rey whispers back, sheepish smile playing on her face "I'm sorry to barge in like this at such an ungodly hour".

"Rey!" Finn repeats more enthusiastically, reaching forth and pulling her into a crushing hug. His sabre crashing to the floor as he sighs happily. All signs of his previous upset at her gone without a trace. All mistakes immediately forgiven as simple joy overtakes all other impulses.

"Gods I've missed you"

Rey reciprocates instantly, smiling into his shoulder as she squeezes him back tightly.

" I’ve missed you too".

Finn is beaming as he pulls back to look at her warmly.

"What are you doing here, why aren't you on Naboo?" He asks in a rushed enthusiasm. 

Reys happy expression falters, an apprehensive grimace gracing her features.

"I was hoping....you would help me with something " she asks quietly.

Finn remains beaming even as he senses her discomfort. 

"Anything.....you know I am  always  happy to help you, whatever you need."

Rey shifts uncomfortably, knowing his opinion and willingness to fulfil this promise, is likely to change once he understands what she is asking. What she is knowingly demanding from him , even after everything they have been through.

She can already anticipate the rage Finn will feel at the mere suggestion of her relationship to their former, and supposedly long deceased, enemy.

Kylo Ren remains a bitter , sullied name on the tongues of people she  loves and cares for. None more than Finn himself.

Rey can only hope the name, Ben Solo, will not rouse the same sort of vitriol and hatred.

She can  wager nothing more than hope now, the future remains unwritten.

Finn’s jovial mood slips a little as he looks at her, tired eyes growing concerned as he grasps her hands.

"What, what is it?"

Rey hesitates, licking at her lips as the words stick at the tip of her tongue.

"It can't be!" Rose exclaims suddenly behind Finn, making them both jump violently at the sound of her shrill, excited voice. 

"Rey! What are you doing here?" She laughs happily, rushing forth to push Finn out of the way and engulf Rey in an exuberant and crushing embrace.

"Hi Rose" Rey smiles through a choking laugh.

"It's good to see you"

"It's more than good, it's wonderful to see you!"

Her small, dark haired friend laughs as she pulls back and shares a happy smile with Finn. 

"What are you doing here?" She repeats, beaming brighter and gripping Reys right hand between her warm, calloused palms.

"Apparently Grand Master Skywalker needs our help" Finn smiles demurely, eyes slightly duller than before. Slowly sensing something is not quite right from the nervous twitch around Reys mouth and the light that never seems to reach her eyes as she smiles.

Rey huffs back a little with a terribly concealed and weakly forced laugh.

“Something like that”

Finns eyes narrow, as he feels a ripple of something akin to fear shimmer across the Force. Rey’s general unease and blatant discomfort telling him there is something she is holding back.

Something big she is hiding; he is sure of it.

He can taste it, this sour burnt rage in the Force.

Bleeding from  the space all around her.

Something has happened, something dark.

“Oh, what do you need?” Rose hums enthusiastically, utterly oblivious of her friend’s  odd behavior,  the subtle edge  of apprehension in her  body language. 

But Finn, he sees everything.

Looking between Rose’s eager, glowing face and Finn’s increasingly suspicious frown, Rey cannot find it in herself to disappoint them just yet. Unable to amass enough courage to just spit the words out and ruin this happy reunion.

“Well” she begins quietly “Right now just a spare bunk if you have it.”

Finn’s jaw twitches as he notes her continued hesitation, but he does not pry any further. Instead he shoves aside his concern to give her a tight smile, knowing she will tell him eventually. 

Rey in return  forces a watery smile from her lips , ashamed and mindful of how her  willful evasion must look. She is certain Finn can see she is hiding something.

“Sure, there’s  a bunk free in the cabin over there” Rose smiles kindly, blissfully unaware of the tension rising between  them .

“Come on, I’ll take you . Maker knows the Ewok’s will be all in a tizzy if you go into the wrong one”

Rose sighs heavily as she marches forward and links her arm in Rey’s.

“They are temperamental little things when they want to be”.

Leading her away and across the short rope bridge, Rose does not see Finns posture sag as he watches them go. All his initial elation at seeing Rey ebbing away as  a  growing  dread fills him.

Whatever Rey is here to ask of them, it is clear she fears asking it.

What could truly be so abhorrent that she already anticipates an immediate refusal?

What task could be so difficult or in opposition to Finn’s code of honor, she knows he will say no?

But then again, how can he ever say no to Rey after everything she has done for him.

Sighing heavily, Finn rubs at his jaw irritably before returning to his cabin with a huff. Too tired to dwell on what this new glaring chasm between them means just yet.

* * *

Heavy sleep finds Rey qui te unexpectedly  after Rose reluctantly leaves her to her own devices.  Her initial plans for a  short nap quickly  turn to a deep and dreamless slumber of several hours. Consciousness lost as soon as her head hits the pillow.

This new and welcome peace is only interrupted  those hours later  when a small, sticky set of  young  hands press upon her cheeks with an audible gasp.

“Master Skywalker, you’re back” a  high , sweet voice whispers in awe, squishing her cheeks tighter.

“Mika” Rey mumbles tiredly, one eye cracking open to see Finn’s tiny padawan looming over her with a gap-toothed smile. His ice blue eyes  are  so vibrant in contrast to the russet tones of his face and dark green stripes of his lekku and montrals,  the irises shine like two  precious  sapphires  set  in  the  earth .

“Master Skywalker” Mika squeals in earnest, leaping forward and giving her an eager and almost bone crushing hug.

“Oofh” Rey gasps with a slight chuckle, hugging the small boy with a  light  pat on his back. Her eyes slowly opening to see the bright twin suns of Endor have climbed high into the  cloudless sky of azure.

Judging by the hang of the position, it is already past midday. 

She has slept too long yet given how fresh and reinvigorated she feels, the extra rest has been more than warranted.

“Have you been behaving yourself  my  young one?” Rey manages with a mock sigh when the little Togruta finally scrambles  off her . Sitting back and  up onto his knees with a happy hum , he plops down on the bed beside her with a slow nod. Rey follows suit, sitting up on her  feather mattress with a soft smile , reaching forth to tweak him  lightly  on his button nose.

“And listening to your Master like I told you?” she adds with a knowing smile, tapping his nose  this time for good measure.

“Yes Master Skywalker, I have been trying my best to be good....But...” Mika pauses with a slight twist of his mouth.

“But what?” Rey asks with a sly smirk.

“But Master Finn is  just  too grumpy sometimes” Mika mumbles guiltily. Rey laughs heartily at this, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“I see, and have you told Master Finn this?” she teases back.

“No duhhhh I’m not that dumb....” he begins with a mocking snort and roll of his eyes before catching himself with the paling of his russet cheeks. The  reality dawning on him all at once , he is  complaining about his teacher to the Grandmaster of the New Jedi.

“I mean...” he stutters for a second as Rey smirks at him deeper “No  Master Skywalker , I didn’t tell Master Finn I thought he was grumpy”.

“Good” Rey snorts in reply “That was very wise little one. You are definitely learning your lessons well”.

The little Togruta smiles back at her happily, chest puffing out at her small praise.

“I  am. Master Finn says I’m gaining strength well ” he nods solemnly, blue eyes suddenly very serious.

Rey tries hard not to laugh at the padawan’s earnestness, instead choosing to pull her boots towards her and rise from  the small bed as she sighs. It suddenly occurs to her; she has no idea how the young apprentice had gotten inside her room.

She had locked the door tightly when Rose had left her a few hours ago.

“Mika” Rey begins with a slight trepidation “why did you come in here and more importantly, how did you get in here?”

The padawans shifts uncomfortably on the small,  feather mattress with a  penitent frown as he avoids her eyes for a moment.

“Meht Maz told me before she left , you might be bringing me a new holoprojector and ...... I wanted to  check .”

Rey’s expression darkens at the admission of his guilt, a little peeved he had invaded her quarters so flagrantly.

“I did say that ,  but  that was  only  if you behaved” Rey chastises firmly “Only if you behaved ...and coming into my quarters without permission is not a good start little one.”

“I’m sorry” he mumbles back with a regretful tone, lowering his eyes from her admonishing stare.

Sighing again,  Rey gives him a gentler look as she leans down.

“I know you have been trying harder in your lessons  Mika , and  _ I am _ proud of how far you have come”

The young Togruta  brightens at her praise, but  this happiness  quickly  deflates at the sight of Rey’s  serious frown.

“But, before I can even consider finding you a holo of your own, you need to demonstrate to me you are ready to listen better to Master Finn, do you understand?”

“Yes Master Skywalker” the child mumbles back in disappointment.

“But...” Rey continues, unable to resist the padawan’s down beaten expression “I will let you use mine later,  _ if  _ _ ,  _ you are a good boy in your lessons today.”

Mika’s dejected look melts away before he beams at her giddily.

“Thank you Master” 

His little arms are soon wrapped around her neck again as he hugs her in gratitude.

“You’re welcome Mika” she smiles back, cursing herself for her soft heart and how easily this little child could twist her arm.

“MIKA....Mika where are you?” Finn’s irritated voice suddenly floats up from the forest floor below them and Mika freezes. Rey arches her eyebrows at him as the little boy shifts uncomfortably under the weight of her eyes. Keen not to disappoint her and forgo the chance to watch Moray and Faz on the holonet that night.

“I guess I better go, I was ‘spose to be back from midday meal ten minutes ago” the little padawan sighs unhappily. Hoping off Rey’s bed and ambling towards the doorway with heavy, slow steps.

Watching him reach for the door handle, the latch opening almost instantly,  Rey’s thoughts are  immediately  brought back  to  her earlier  question .

The boy may have been gifted in the Force , but prizing open a locked door with little to no noise at all, was  without  doubt  a skill  way beyond his years just yet.

“Mika”  Rey calls, face more  guarded as he meets her probing gaze “How  _ did  _ you get in here?”

The boy pauses as he steps back into the room with a guileless, blinking look.

“The nice dark-haired man let me in” he replies simply with a shrug.

“The  nice  dark-haired man?” Rey repeats with a frown.

“Yeah, he heard me knock on the door and let me in. He was really tall like a Wroshyr tree...not giant like Uncle Chewie, but .... bigger than Master Finn... ” Mika muses to himself, little face scrunching up as he tries to remember anything else. Rey’s throat tightens as her eyes search the cabin on instinct, seeing nothing but the simple wood of her walls and the small frame of her bed.

“Tall you say” she replies with trepidation “do you happen to know where the tall man went?”

Mika shakes his head at her, frown deepening as he thinks.

“No...he just let me in and asked me to stay quiet until  you woke up. Then he was gone”

“I see” Rey murmurs back with a frown of her own “And did he ...”

“Ben ! Ben Solo ” Mika suddenly gushes as he interrupts her question, a smile flashing on his face in delight. Proud as punch he has remembered  the strangers name.

“Ben Solo?” Rey gulps back, praying no one else has heard this conversation.

“The dark- haired, he said his name was Ben Solo....and I was to tell you..... he would be seeing you again soon” Mika smiles broadly, utterly happy with himself for imparting the message as asked.

_ Especially  _ when he could have been too distracted by the search for her holoprojector to even remember  anything !

The little Togruta feels grateful to his new friend for allowing him to feel so important for once, even if it is just for a moment. 

Most of the time the people here make him feel like a nuisance, except  for  Rose.

Rose and Rey are always nice to him.

“ Okay....right... thank you” Rey replies with a tight smile, cheeks flushing as she digests this new  perturbing turn of events. Startled by the fact that if Ben can manifest in front of a novice force user such as Mika, it will not be long until Finn will be presented with the same, and much less welcome, surprise.

She must tell Finn  soon in order to temper  his anger before Ben’s  unexpected  appearance causes even more issues.

“You better go before....”

“Mika!” Finn growls tetchily behind them, suddenly looming over his padawan in the doorway with a stormy look on his face.

“What did I tell you , just this morning , about disturbing Master Skywalker?”

The little boy cowers a little, caught red handed disobeying his master's strict instructions.

“Not to” he replies sheepishly.

“And what are you doing right now?” Finn growls again, hands perched on his hips as he regards his charge with irritation.

“Bothering Master Skywalker” Mika replies shamefully, eyes dropping to the timber floor.

“It’s okay, he wasn’t bothering me Finn” Rey says kindly,  stepping forward to place a comforting hand on the abashed  child’s shoulder.

“Rey...” Finn sighs unhappily, looking  up  at her solemnly  through his lashes  “Please don’t make excuses for him. Mika knows he was supposed to go straight to meditation with Tuda after Midday meal. Isn’t that right?”.

Mika stares at the floor, his little face scrunching up in  reaction to Finn’s sour expression.

“Yes Master” he mumbled quietly ; eyes glassy as he tries not to get upset.

“Tuda has been  patiently  waiting almost 15 minutes for you , is that fair?” Finn asks firmly.

“No Master” Mika sniffles, rubbing at his eyes.

“Then....stop wasting Master  Skywalker’s time and go do what I told you to do” Finn orders gruffly “No exceptions!”

The little Togruta looks up at Rey mournfully, chastened into embarrassment.

“Go” Finn repeats louder and the padawan scarpers off with another audible sniff.

Rey watches him go with a  slight  twinge of guilt , she perhaps should have just ordered him gently back to Finn when she had first  awoken. 

It  was clear he had been absconding from lessons, but she  admittedly  had a  little  soft spot for that  vivacious young padawan . 

“You’re too hard on him” Rey says after a beat or two , once Mika is well out of earshot .

“You don’t have to live with him” Finn retorts with a ghost of a smile “He has the attention span of a  Porglet ”

“He is also only  barely seven years old” Rey  needles back  with a smirk of her own  “Cut him some slack”

“And I was four when I was  first  drafted into the Stormtroopers,  you were five when you became a scavenger,  he is more than capable of following orders” her friend replies more huffily, and Rey can see she will not win this argument.

She quietly accepts, maybe she is a little biased on this occasion.

“Fine....maybe he needs to work better on his listening skills.....and paying attention more. But we all have little edges we need to knock off with time”

“Well ....perhaps that is true , but I certainly never accidentally set fire to my bed on four separate occasions...” Finn adds more brightly “ _ He  _ is a walking disaster”.

“I’m sure he is....but you did also fall face first into  bantha dung  after getting distracted during training” Rey teases back and Finn’s expression lightens further.

“That was one time and that was  _ only  _ because  _ someone  _ thought it would be funny to raise the difficulty level on the course , and  then  _ not  _ tell me!” he shoots back with a good-natured grin. Rey beams back at him, a sly wink  offered to him as she laughs conspiratorially.

“Well...maybe that  _ someone _ _..... _ thought  the new challenge was  needed to stop you getting complacent.”

“Complacent! I had to burn all my clothes after landing in that bantha poodoo! My hair smelt like dung for three days!” Finn exclaims  wildly  as he laughs despite himself.

“Did you ever  get distracted again during training after that?” Rey asks smugly,  her  arms crossing  over her chest as  if challenging him to  dispute her  assertions .

“No....” Finn scoffs “once was quite enough!”

“Well then” Rey sighs with  a triumphant arch of her eyebrow “I suggest the lesson  you  learned was more than of value.”

Finn harrumphs in response, narrowing his eyes as he sticks out his tongue at her. Grudgingly accepting , maybe,  on some level  she is right.

“Maybe next time, your lessons can be a little less direct ......and maybe.... a little less disgusting?” Finn smirks after a beat and Rey grins.

“Maybe next time, bantha leavings will be the least of your worries” Rey laughs and Finn chuckles heartily.

“I’m quivering in my boots already” Finn shoots back with a cheeky grin as he leans  against the dark wood of her doorway.

Rey snorts gently but adds nothing further. Enjoying the easy banter between them after the tension of the early morning.

Finn’s cheeky grin fades a little after a while, sensing this unspoken spectre that lies between them. He looks at her more closely, that same concern underwriting every thought as his mind drifts back to the  unfinished plea of  the early hours .

Reys cheeks flush as she catches his train of thought. 

"So..." Finn begins awkwardly "about earlier....do you think you're ready to talk about it?"

Rey blinks back at him hurriedly, mouth growing dry.

She opens her mouth to speak, nothing but a hot blast of air rushing out, before she clears her throat and closes it again. Finn’s face is impassive as he waits patiently for her to rouse her courage enough to weather this bid.

“I...uhh..I need your help” she finally grinds out with much effort. Her lovely features twisting as her heart begins to pound.

“I know” Finn exhales softly, eyes gentle as he reaches for her hand. Trying to bring a sense of calm to her obvious discomfort. Urging her forward with a slight nod of his head.

“It’s okay, whatever it is, just tell me”

Rey chews on her lip as her face reddens even further. 

Sighing loudly, she pulls away from him.

Her hands twitching in and out of fists as she fights to bring words to the desperation she feels, this rejection she fears from him.

He is her dearest friend and she cannot imagine what she will do if he will not help her.

Will not look at her again.

“Rey?” Finn says once more, placing his hand on her shoulder as steps inside and closer to her half-turned body.

“It’s okay, just say it.”

Rey gulps, hating the way he looks at her.

This compassionate, guileless understanding written across his face. She knows she is about to destroy any sense of peace Finn has found here with Rose and Jannah with  the uttering of  one small, short name.

Ben Solo.

He is going to hate her.

But she must do it, there is no other way. The result will be the same whether she does it now or in twenty galactic years.

And time is running out, ebbing away like the sand in an hourglass.

She can feel it again, the darkness edging closer to Ben, its voracious appetite waiting to consume him.

To lure her closer and claim them both in a bitter sweep of pain and terror.

She must appeal to Finn’s better nature to have any chance of winning this fight.

Rey takes a deep breath, steeling herself just to speak.

“The thing is....” she starts with a tight huff from her lungs, yet once more her attempts at honesty are cruelly thwarted by fate.

“Finn” a familiar voice calls from the forest floor, Jannah’s low, soothing tones cutting through the close moment like a knife through butter. 

“Finn....where are you?”

Finn winces as he takes in Rey’s pained expression, jaw tight as her mouth snaps shut again.

Courage gone.

“Finn?” Jannah calls more insistently “The new platoon is arriving earlier than expected...Maz just left a holovideo to confirm...we need to be ready for tomorrow ".

Finn sighs heavily as he scrubs at his face.

“Great” he grumbles to himself under his breath. Looking back at Rey, her expression has lightened again, as if relieved by this interruption.

“Go” she says quietly “We’ll talk later”.

“Are you sure? The prep can wait .” Finn says earnestly “We’ll have it done well before  the  dark sets in anyway.”

In truth , they may even finish earlier than that, so many squads had passed through Endor at this stage,  he, Rose and Jannah can almost do the preparations in their sleep.

“Yeah, it’s fine. In fact....I insist on helping” Rey replies more brightly. Finn considers arguing, demanding she just spit it out.

But then.

He thinks about the twenty to thirty scared and confused, young men and women that are due to arrive at first light tomorrow.

He cannot in all conscience allow Rose and Jannah to prepare for that large  of a  responsibility by themselves.

“Okay....but you promise we will talk soon ?”

Rey nods solemnly.

“I promise”

“FINN” Jannah yells loudly this time, voice  suddenly  closer as she climbs her way up a winding set of stairs to the upper canopy of their little village.

“I’m here” Finn replies tiredly, stepping out onto the creaky platform leading to the nearest rope bridge “So stop hollering like a happabore.”.

Rey steps out after him, trying not to smirk  when she sees  both  parties  standing with  their  hands on their hips like obstinate children.

Glowering at each other  from opposite sides of the  small, aerial  bridge.

“Well .... maybe if you had answered the first time, I wouldn’t have had to shout. This is rather important” Jannah retorts with a scowl. 

Her expression softens when she spots Rey sheepishly  standing  behind Finn.

“Hi Rey,  I’m  sorry for  all  the commotion .” she says apologetically “ It is great to see you ”.

The slight nod of her head  after  as much  of a  welcome as she is willing to give before she turns back to Finn with a frown.

Not that Rey cares all that much, they have never been particularly close, and a halfhearted hug would have just been too mawkish for her to bear. In fact, she prefers  that  they  have avoided the  awkward  small talk and forced decorum altogether.

Though  Jannah  had  been her student at one time, there had always been this disconnect between them. This divide and awkwardness that never  seems to abate even after the hours they had spent together in the pursuit of knowledge within the Force.

Part of Rey wondered if there existed an underlying jealousy there, a sense of inferiority due to  Rey’s relationship with Finn and the depth of their friendship. 

Sadly, it was a case  of  not necessarily of playing second fiddle to Rey , as there was no doubt Rose was his main priority, but at  times, playing third or fourth , if Poe happened to be around too .

Yet Rey had never sensed any jealousy on  Jannah’s  part towards Rose and Jannah’s feelings for Finn had always seemed more sororal than anything else. 

But, still there lay an undercurrent of practiced distance between them and Rey is not sure how she will bridge it now.

It was a stark realization to know she would have to, if this mission for fellowship was to succeed, she would have to find a way through.

“I know, it is important” Finn snaps back “Which is why Rey has volunteered to help us.”

Jannah turns to her with raised brows, surprised it seems at the prospect of Rey deigning to consider grunt work like this.

“You are?”

Rey nods with an amiable smile.

“Yeah....why not, more hands mean less time. Right?”

Jannah nods in reply, dark eyes flicking to Finn as her posture relaxes.

“Thank you” she replies carefully, relief washing over her serious features.

Whatever  initial  small grievance she felt toward Finn is now a long-forgotten memory. Focusing instead upon their next tasks as there is much to do.

“I will set Tuda and Mika some Auberesh translations and meet you both with Rose by the Western cabins.”

Finn nods in assent, hoping his wayward padawan will at least attempt  some of the set exercise.

“Sure” Rey answers for them both.

Jannah gives them both another tight smile before turning on her heel and making her way across another bridge to where Rey assumes the two padawans are studying.

“Come on” Finn says with  an impish smirk “she’ll be pain if we don’t get a move on”.

Rey smiles back at him knowingly.

“Did you ever consider,  that  maybe , you’re the one that’s the pain?” she teases.

Finn scoffs in reply, pushing her lightly towards the bridge.

“Keep  testing me and you’ll find out very quickly”

“Ohhh, I’m quaking already” Rey grins back at him, laughing as he glowers in reply.

* * *

Across the line of trees, nestled in the quietest corner of the forest, Tuda and Mika sit pouring over the small lines of  text Jannah had  set them that afternoon . Both boys'  brows furrowed in  deep  concentration as they translate every section carefully. Mindful even the smallest lapse in concentration will ruin the whole passage.

Over an hour has passed since Jannah had left to ready the small barracks for their visitors tomorrow. Promising them free time to play once their exercises were done.

Tuda’s violet coloured eyes light up as he finishes the last section with a grin.

“I’m done” the young Tholothian boasts proudly,  holding the parchment aloft and  grinning wider as he sees Mika scowl in reply.

“No fair, I haven’t even finished two” he complains, clutching his quill tighter as he pouts.

“Master Jannah must have given you easier ones”

“Did not!” the older padawan protests, features souring as  he  leans across the small  wooden  desk.  Slamming the parchment down as he looms over the smaller child with an aggressive growl.

“Master Jannah gave us both the same parts, you’re just too slow in the head to finish them!  ” he spits back, the full fury of his  nine -year-old temper rising at the mere suggestion of favoritism.

“I am not slow” Mika wails back.

“Are too, that’s why Master Finn can’t stand you” the boy sneers, prodding his study mate in the chest.

Mika shoves him back, hot tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“You’re lying” 

His voice quavers as the jolts to his feet, little hands twisting into fists.

“Master Finn says I’ve got great potential” he  argues back even as his confidence wanes.

“As if” Tuda scoffs, taking pleasure in the way Mika seems to fold in on himself as his confidence chips away. 

Little by little. 

Barb by carefully struck barb.

“Master Finn would send you back home right now if Grandmaster Skywalker didn’t pity you so much” Tuda’s perfect white teeth sneer at Mika, taunting the increasingly upset younger boy with relish.

Mika cannot help the shake in his lip as he begins to tear up, a deep anger and feeling of rejection rising within him. Sparking something malicious and never felt before deep in his bones.

“Shut up, I hate you”  he roars, unable to stop himself reaching out with the Force  to send the hapless bully off his feet and skidding across the  hard, dusty  floor. 

There is  a sudden silence between them as both boys freeze in horrified surprise, neither of them  ever manifested such strength before. 

At this stage of training,  even lifting a  small  pebble a few feet from the ground remains a monumental task most days .

But a display of  sheer might such as this ,  seems an  almost a  distant , impossible dream. Mika stares at his hands in wonder and terror, trembling as he comes to terms with what he’s done.

“Tuda....Tuda I’m sorry.”  he begins shakily, recovering his composure first  as his eyes lift to Tuda’s paling face.

“Please....Please don’t tell anyone”.

The older student stays upon the floor, staring up at his attacker with wide, fearful eyes.

“Please” Mika repeats “Please don’t tell Master Finn”.

Tuda finally  slowly  rises to his feet after a long moment , brushing the dust from his white robes with an awestruck expression on his face.

Still saying nothing.

“Tuda...” Mika cries, stepping closer.

The young Tholothian seems to move away from him, still not looking into the Togruta’s eyes.

“I’m going to go play with Wezzle and the Woklings, you can copy my translations if you want” he replies quietly, an audible quaver in his voice.

“Tuda” Mika chokes, tears falling down his eyes as he watches his companion turn on his heel and flee through the open doorway. Leaving the  small , scared boy all alone.

Falling back down onto his stool, Mika sobs uncontrollably. Guilt ridden and fearful of what he has just done.

He does not know where that rage had come from, that surge of something dark and powerful within him. 

Mika hates it, hates himself for what he has done. For the control he had lost in a blink of an eye.

He cries and cries until his chest hurts with the effort of it, burying his face in the crook of his arm as his robe is soaked by tears.

“It’s okay little one” a deep, kind voice whispers, the heavy weight of a large, warm hand coming to rest on his shoulder.

Mika’s little head whips up as  soon as  he feels the presence there, meeting the eyes of the tall, dark haired stranger as he blinks up at him in surprise.

“Mr Solo” the little boy whispers.

“Hello again little one” Ben smiles at the sniffling padawan. Mika rubs at his tender, red rimmed eyes as he sits up straighter.

“What are you doing here?” he hiccups as the  last of his tears dry up.

“I heard you crying and  wanted to see if you were alright .”  Ben replies softly, rising from his hunched position by the boy. 

“I’m fine" Mika  sighs heavily as he looks up at him , his cheeks flaming as his shoulders sag in embarrassment. 

“You don’t look fine” the older man replies, moving to the other side of the simple wooden desk to sit opposite the distraught child with a low hum. Gingerly dropping his substantial weight onto the stool Tuda had vacated not long before. 

His huge frame comically dwarfing the child’s seat as he shifts to get comfortable.

Mika sighs  again , little mouth turning down as he regards his new friend warily. Afraid to tell him the truth of his vexation.

“Mika yours name...right?” Ben says gently, leaning closer to look at the child better as he nods in reply.

“Mika....” Ben begins again “I’m not going to make you tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, but it may make you feel better?”

The young padawan shuffles in his seat as his eyes drift to the low desk in front of him. Considering the proposal and seeing there is nothing to lose from trying. Mr Solo seemed willing to listen to him for one, which was more than most people wanted to do. 

At least most people he knew.

“I got in a fight.....and I did a bad thing” Mika eventually mumbles quietly, the sound so low Ben almost doesn’t catch it.

“What bad thing did you do?” Ben replies softly, coaxing the truth out bit by bit. Conscious he does not want to startle the young lad with too much pressure to speak.

But the kid doesn’t appear to even notice his insistence. Instead letting the words flow from him as if exorcising his own guilty conscience.

“I....I used the Force against someone” Mika murmurs shamefully, voice almost a whisper as his little face darks and pinches with discomfort.

Ben’s eyes widen a little in surprise, not expecting a confession of this sort from such sweet-faced child.

He doesn’t even look like he could even bruise a grapefruit, let alone abuse his power to harm someone else.

“I see. And is your friend hurt?” Ben asks as evenly as he can muster after the shock has subsided.

Mika visibly falters, thinking carefully about the question before he answers.

“I don’t think so” he replies flatly, tension never leaving his small face.

Ben nods as he gives him a small smile.

“I wouldn’t worry so much then....I’m sure he will forgive you if he knows how sorry you are.”

Mika’s features shift a little more when he finally looks up at Ben, piercing blue eyes meeting brown as the little Togruta frowns.

“I’m not sorry. He deserved it”.

There’s a fierceness in Mika’s face that floors Ben even further. A conviction and sense of righteousness he recognizes instantly as his own juvenile sense of justice and retribution.

Leaning back to regard the child further, Ben sees no break in his position. No waiver in his belief in the necessity of his actions.

But perhaps torn only by the means in which it was enacted.

“I see” Ben replies quietly, waiting for the sober boy to continue.

“Tuda....Tuda was....he was saying horrible things to me” Mika explains dolefully “I never say anything mean about him. Ever! And he....he always tries to make me feel.....bad. No matter what I do. I try to be his friend, I try ever day Mr Solo and he....he just hurts me.”

“Sometimes people are mean to others, just because they can be little one.” Ben says gently, heart aching for the simple kindness of this little boy, this unerring and simple wish he has to be the other child’s friend.

Knowing all would be forgiven in a heartbeat if this kid Tuda would show just one shred of kindness toward him.

“Why? Why would anyone do that? Be mean on purpose” Mika inquires indignantly, head cocking to the side as his big blue eyes stare up at Ben in sorrow. Studying Ben as he exhales heavily in reply and furrows his brow in thought.

Hesitating to ponder the quandary deeply, Ben wracks his brain for the words to illustrate it in terms a seven-year-old would understand.

“I think” he begins, expression serious but also gentle as he explains “people do it as they want to believe it gives them power over you. By making you feel small, it can help them feel big.”

Mika’s little face seems to tighten as he  mulls over Ben’s answer. Nodding as he digests it all.

“Have people ever tried to make you feel small?” he asks carefully, looking up at Ben with a nervous twitch of his lip. Considering that this may be a ridiculous question given the size and intimidating bearing of the man that sits opposite him.

But Ben’s intense gaze grows glum as he seems to ruminate on his own boyhood.

“Yes, people have tried to make me feel small and make me feel unimportant. But.... eventually I learned not to listen”.

“How?” the little boy says with a curious look.

Ben smiles again as he leans closer across the small desk.

“I learned only to listen to those who actually take the time to know me. Like Master Skywalker. She is a  _ very  _ good judge of character.”

His young companion brightens a little at the mention of his favourite friend.

“Master Skywalker is very kind” Mika admits seriously “But sometimes I think she is the only grown up here who actually likes me”.

“I like you” Ben say earnestly and the little Togruta blushes brightly.

“You don’t know me” the boy replies quietly, avoiding his gaze “You wouldn’t like me if you knew what I did”.

His expression is stricken again, something sharp and  terrified roiling just below the surface. Ben studies him for a moment, dissecting each micro expression on Mika’s young downcast face and finding a familiarity there.  A further sense of recognition and kinship.

Because he had once been this child, this struggling, lonely but full of potential, kid. Filled with promise, but also filled with crippling doubt. Aching for someone, anyone to just listen to him for once.

“I don’t believe that for one minute, you are very likable boy” Ben replies carefully, leaning down to try catch Mika’s gaze.

“You should. I did something really bad” his companion whimpers, keeping his eyes fixed on the old wooden desk as he exhales harshly. Troubled by the thoughts that run through his young mind.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened, and we can find out together” Ben pushes gently.

Mika shifts on his stool in discomfort, weighing up the proposition in his mind. Sighing heavily, he decides just to tell him. To share the burden.

Mr Solo seems like a very good listener and a problem shared was a problem halved, as Meht Maz had told him once.

“When I used the Force on Tuda, I was angry. Very anger at him and..... I didn’t mean to, but I used it....I used my anger to hurt him. I used the dark side.”

The young padawan’s face grows more and more flushed, a deep plum color spreading on his russet cheeks as he awaits Ben’s  inevitable condemnation .

For a moment Ben is at a loss at what to say.

Struck once more by the startling similarity of this situation to the pain he had felt as a boy.

Maker this kid was like looking in the mirror at times. And perhaps that was why the Force had manifested him here, once more in the company of this small, struggling child.

To rectify the mistakes of the past and secure the hopes of the future.

He understands Mika’s confusion and fear all too well. That sense of shame when you lose control and unimaginable fear of your own suppressed anger. 

Ben knows he must help him.

Clearing his throat, he scratches at his head awkwardly before he speaks.

“Look kid it’s okay....really.....it was just a mistake”

“It’s not okay” the boy whimpers, heavy tears threatening to break from his eyes.

“The dark side is bad”.

Ben licks at his lips as he considers his words careful. Mindful of how a young child may misinterpret them.

“The dark side can be bad it’s true, but the dark side can also be used for good” he begins hesitantly.

“How? Master Finn says it can only be used for bad things” Mika argues, little mouth pouting in  dissent.

“Yeah, well he would say that wouldn’t he” Ben murmurs disdainfully to himself, hoping the young boy does not hear his scathing response. 

What would that former stormtrooper every really know about the true extent of the dark, he had all the traits of a light side zealot. 

Too blinded by his dogmatic aversion to anything beyond his own understanding to consider the alternative.

Sighing tiredly, Ben tries to push these feelings of scorn for the young master away before speaking again. His strong opinions on Finn’s teaching methods will not be helpful at present.

“The dark can be used for many bad things, it’s true. If you let it, the dark can twist your heart and hurt the ones you love”.

Ben licks his lip, keeping his tone as even as possible as he continues.

“But the dark also tell us when we need to fight, to keep us passionate in our beliefs and strong when peace is not enough.” 

Ben pauses again, casting an eye over to the curious padawan as he stares at Ben with wide, sapphire eyes.

“Sometimes, you have to push back against bad things...like when you stood up for yourself against a bully. You are allowed to strike back when things are wrong..... too much dark can be dangerous... but too little, can be even worse. It keeps us...distant from the things we believe we can’t change.” Ben urges quietly and Mika seems to sit up straighter as he listens.

“You’re allowed to feel anger sometimes, it means you know when things are not right.”

He looks pointedly at the young jedi apprentice, heartened to see him nodding along. Taking in Ben’s words as he listens more and more closely.

“To never let yourself experience anger and to deny it when you feel it, only means you never let it go. It stays there with you like a parasite. You let it controls you instead of you controlling the anger. Letting yourself feel these things people call the dark, is just learning how to use every part of the Force in harmony. It is all a balance and there is nothing to be ashamed of if you learn how to control it. Do you understand?”.

“I think so” Mika replies slowly, brow furrowed as he takes it all in. Young mind absorbing the lesson he is trying to impart.

Neither of them says anything else for a while, a calm seeming to settle in that small room as Mika’s upset starts to wane. The lessons Mr Solo speaks of seems at odds with the instruction Master Finn gives him every day, but it doesn’t mean he is wrong.

Master Skywalker had always told him, the Force needs balance and they as conduits had to try maintain this equilibrium as best as they can.

Light and dark, it made sense.

Swinging his short legs on his stool, the begins of a smile starts to form on Mika’s little cheeks.

“You seem to know a lot about the dark side” he says eventually, studying Ben’s dark eyes with a curious stare.

Ben blinks back at him as his face pales a shade or two.

“I guess I do” he answers in a low voice, tone almost sad. Mika cocks his head to the side as he considers only a force user could talk about the Force with such clarity. Yet he seems different, separate from it in some way.

“How come I can’t feel you.... your presence in the Force?” Mika asks matter-of-factly, eyes narrowing as he tries to figure it all out. Ben licks at his lips, debating internally whether he should tell the boy the truth.

In the end, it's not as if there’s any other logical way to explain it.

“I’m....not..really here” Ben replies  carefully , wincing as he sees Mika’s eyes widen in fright.

“You’re a ghost” the boy exclaims, jumping to his feet.

He rounds the desk and stares up at Ben with a wonderous expression. Little hand twitching as he dares himself to reach out and touch Ben’s arm.

“Are you a ghost?” he asks again, awestruck as much as terrified by the prospect.

“ No...not really” Ben assures him as he shakes his head “More....stuck somewhere else”.

“Is that why Master Skywalker is here....to help you get ….unstuck?” Mika says excitedly.

Gods this child was way too astute for his own good Ben bemoans internally.

“Yeah I think so” he responds hesitantly, not entirely sure why Rey is here on Endor in truth. It is a pressing answer he will seek from her very soon. Right now, he had to focus on the present.

The young padawan nods, accepting Ben’s reply with a small mumble of inner musings. 

Watching the older man, Mika rocks back on his heels, a thought striking him

He smiles widely as he builds himself up to ask his next question.

“Are you Master Skywalker’s secret love ? Maz told me she has a secret love that even Master Finn doesn’t know about” Mika giggles brazenly. Ben chuckles as he blushes at the child’s bold suggestion.

“You’ll have to ask Master Skywalker that” he answers coyly. Mika giggles again, skipping to the other side of the desk once more and plopping down on his stool with a grin. 

Clearly bored by this game already. He had all the answers he was going to get today.

Ben’s eyes fall on the small roll of parchment in front of him as he shakes his head at Mika. Tracing the line of each translated phrase, he deduces by the handwriting, this was the hasty work of the aforementioned Tuda.

“That’s what started our fight” Mika supplies, quill held tightly in his hand as Ben’s eyes flick to him.

“He said I was slow in the head for not finishing as quick as him”.

Ben hums unhappily as he hears this, placing the parchment back on the desk with a frown.

“Let me see yours” he asks quietly. Mika hesitates visibly before sliding the parchment over to Ben reluctantly. After a moment of study, Ben pushes the exercise back to Mika with a bemused smirk.

“Just as I thought” he says proudly “Perfectly translated”.

Mika preens at this, little cheeks flushing purple once more at the unexpected praise. 

“I wouldn’t worry if Tuda ever calls you slow again. He may have been faster, but he got all but one of the translation wrong” Ben continues, giving him a conspiratory smirk.

“Really” Mika exclaims in disbelief.

“Yes really” Ben replies kindly “So never think any less of yourself for taking more time than him on things. It means you get it right the first time”.

“Okay” Mika responds solemnly, turning back to his Auberesh exercises with a renewed vigour. That little encouragement more than enough to stoke his determination.

Turning his head back up at Ben after a moment, his expression is sheepish as he speaks again.

“Can you stay and check my work once I’m done?”

Ben’s smile is gentle and full of genuine enthusiasm.

“It would be my honour young padawan.”

* * *

For Rey, the remainder of the afternoon passes in relative blur. Not many words are expressed beyond absolute  necessity, such is the intensity of their workload that day. There are cabins and latrines to be cleaned, sheets to be laundered and dining halls to be set up.

It feels good to be working like this,  grafting  alongside her close friends with a shared, simple goal in mind.

It lets her forget, just for a moment , the  struggles and pain of the last few weeks.  Those doubts and  worries that  have lived just below the skin,  ushered away with each sweep of her broom.  Her isolated sadness  lost to  a  gentle wind like dust below her feet.

The  menial toil may be hard, but it is also rewarding. A reprieve and respite from her own reality, even just for a few hours.

The smile on Rose’s  glowing face is  reward  enough in of itself,  a collective sigh of relief escaping  as they finish  the workday  with the first of Endor’s suns starting to dip in the darkening sky.

Rose’s hands rest on her hips as she surveys the temporary barracks with a  pleased grin.  Amazed as ever how transformed the place looks after some elbow grease and  a little  persistence.

Leaning in to give Rey a thankful squeeze as she hugs her close,  Rose hums happily  at  a job well done. Finn is soon  at her other side, arm lazily  wrapping around her shoulder as she parts from Rey. Rose soon nestles in against his side as she sighs once more in contentment.

“I know I  may be biased and all that, but this may be the best-looking barracks in all the galaxy.”  Finn muses proudly.

“I think you may be right” Jannah grins, tossing them each a small bottle of dark honey colored liquid in celebration. The alcoholic brew inside a mix of her own secret creation, potent but smooth as silk upon the tongue. 

Once you ignore the terrible after taste that is.

Popping the cork on hers, Rey takes a long, generous pull from the glass. Coughing loudly as the alcohol burns her mouth.

“Gods above! That is stronger than I expected” Rey chokes, voice raspy from the fiery liquid that runs its way down her throat.

“Definitely not for the faint of heart ." Finn grimaces as he takes a  small  sip of his own.

“You two are just wimps . I’ve had Corellian ales  stronger than this." Jannah teases,  setting h erself down on  an old, mossy log with a contented  sigh . The corners of eyes crinkle up in a wide smile as she snorts at Rey’s grimace.

“I dread to think what your tolerance is” Rey mutters back, mouth and tongue now sincerely burning. Finding a stump of her own to rest on, she endeavors to swallow another forced sip of the home brew. Not wanting to be rude.

Finn  moves to follow Jannah , leaning  up against the long-felled tree with a sigh of his own.  His dark eyes  running over the  refreshed  camp  once more  with  a  sense of pride. 

There is a long silence between them for a breath as they  each  bask in the knowledge of a job well done.

“You’re not drinking" Jannah says dubiously, breaking the silence and looking up at Rose with a curious arch of her brow. True enough the bottle of moonshine lies idle in Rose’s usually busy hands. Cork still set in its neck and the brew remain untouched.

Rose’s cheeks flush almost infinitesimally as she shifts awkwardly under the scrutiny of three sets of watchful eyes. 

“I’m not really in the mood for alcohol right now” she answers vaguely “maybe later?”

Handing back the small bottle, she seems to avoid Jannah’s gaze for a moment.

“I’m going to go start dinner, I’m sure the boys are famished by now” Rose adds quietly, turning on her heel and setting off toward the main village without another word.

Rey gives her a curious look, while Jannah looks downright suspicious as they watch her leave.

“Well that was weird” she comments, looking back at Finn with a pointed look. He simply shrugs and takes another pull from his bottle.

“Maybe she’s just tired” Rey suggests, not truly believing it even as she says it.

“But, that was odd. Right?” she repeats, looking between Rey and Finn with searching eyes.

Both of them shrug non-committedly, keen not to give the game away. Not that Finn knows for certain yet that Rey is on the same train of thought as he.

Jannah huffs a little in reply, obviously frustrated by the seeming indifference.

“Fine, maybe I’m seeing things” she grouses, taking a long drink  from her own bottle.

“Wouldn’t be the first time” Finn baits with a slight smirk. Jannah narrows her eyes at him, but smirks back eventually with a shake of her head.

“If I wasn’t so fond of you Finny Boy, you’d be in big trouble”

“Just as well you are fond of me then” he retorts with a winning smile, dark eyes sparkling with brotherly affection. Jannah rolls her eyes, snorting into her bottle as she hides her smile. Sighing heavily, she finishes the last of her drink with a shrug of her own and she pushes off the log to get to her feet.

“I better go check on Tuda and Mika, they have been  far too quiet for way too long” she groans, a waggish rise of her eyebrow telling them how abhorrent a notion this is. 

The silence of young boys left unattended is definite recipe for mischief and bad decisions!

“Just make sure Mika hasn’t gotten into the sabers again” Finn adds dryly, sharing a look of tired acceptance with his friend.

“Will do” Jannah laughs  back  as she saunters off with a grin, matching the path Rose had taken only minutes before. 

Rey watches her leave as she had done Rose, lips pursing as a recurrent thought runs over in her head.

Finn shifts a few feet away from her, catching small glimpses of the notions twisting in her mind. Looking back at him, Rey’s expression is playful but full of warm affection.

“Don’t say it” he warns with a growing smile as she catches her eye.

“I’m not going to say anything” Rey snorts, sipping her drink once more with a smirk. The bootleg hooch going down easier now as her tongue loosens a notch or two.

“Yes you are, I can see it in your face” he grumbles good naturedly.

“My face” Rey balks with feigned innocence “What’s wrong with my face?”

A big triumphant, but oddly joyous grin spreading across her cheeks.

“Stop it” Finn groans, actually pouting this time “I can see you already want to talk about it”.

“About what?” Rey teases, an affected innocence gracing her features.

“You know what” he growls back with little malice, cheeks growing hot with bashfulness.

Rey finally breaks, a toothy laugh escaping her mouth as she grin giddily at her friend. Finn shifts on the log with a pained sigh, taking a long drag from his drink as he awaits her inevitable assault of questions. The barely contained joy and excitement brimming from every pour of her body.

“How long?” she begins, fixing her gaze on Finn as he continues to squirm “How long have you known Rose is pregnant? ”

He bites at his lips before dropping his eyes, admitting defeat.

“Two weeks” he mumbles quietly.

“Two weeks and you still haven’t told Jannah about the baby” Rey exclaims in disbelief.

“We’re waiting...” Finn argues with a slight pout “we wanted to find the right opportunity”.

“The right opportunity! Jannah is already suspicious; you don’t think she won’t notice when Rose’s belly starts growing ?” Rey scoffs as Finn winces in reply.

“I know, I know” he sighs, gently tossing his now empty bottle to the forest floor in front of them. The vessel bounces gently off the small thicket of long grass with a dull thud, rolling along the brush until it disappears completely.

“It’s just....” he pauses as he gathers his thoughts. This pained look on his face as his words falter.

“You’re still getting used to the idea of it” Rey offers gently, all teasing gone from her voice. Finn nods, scratching at the tight curls at the top of his head with  an anxious frown.

“I just.....I never imagined I would ever be a father.” he admits solemnly “I never had anyone to show how and I guess...” he flounders once more, licking at lips as a roll of apprehension hits him.

Rey feels a pang of empathy for him, understanding that shame all too well. She has very little memory of her own mother and father and the thought of impending parenthood seems a daunting prospect for the uninitiated.

Rey slips off the tree stump opposite him as his speech stalls to a stop. Clambering up the log with an easy grace, she sits beside him with an understanding smile.

Reaching fo rth , she engulfs his shaking hand  in hers , tightly holding  them upon her knee .

“For the record, I think you’ll make an excellent father” Rey says proudly, watching as Finn’s troubled features soften.

“Really?” he asks with an earnestness to his face that takes her by surprise.

“Are you kidding me” Rey almost chastises “you Finn, somehow cope with having to guide a very precocious eight-year-old padawan at the same time as taking care of platoon after platoon of scared and confused soldiers. You have such a big heart; how could you not be a good father?” her voice grows fierce as she speaks, urging him to believe her words.

Squeezing his hand as she looks deep into his eyes, she finally seems to reach him.

“Any kid would be lucky to have a parent like you. Look at what you, Rose and Jannah have built here. Consider how many broken lives you have changed. If you can show that much love and care to a bunch of strangers, imagine how much love you will give that child.”

Finn’s  stricken  expression relaxes further as he squeezes back.

“I know, but.....what if I don’t how to  _ be  _ a parent?” he sighs heavily.

“I don’t think anyone ever really knows how, people....just figure it out I guess....but in the end, what’s most important.... is just being there and loving that kid” Rey answers solemnly.

Finn doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Absorbing all that she has said while they sit in companionable silence. A slow smile spreads on his face when he meets her eyes again.

“I think” he says quietly “One day, you will make the most amazing mother too.”

Rey blinks back at him in surprise, spluttering a little as  if coming to terms with the idea.

“I’m not sure I agree” she replies tacitly, skeptical of this sudden endorsement.

“Come on, you know you will. Hell .... you practically raised me  for a couple of years” Finn jokes, throwing his arm around her shoulder as he grins.

“I don’t...” Rey hesitates with a pained expression “I’m  not  sure motherhood is on the cards for me”

There is starkness in her honesty that jolts Finn . It stirs his compassion and discontent at the mere suggestion , she will not be allowed this  undisclosed  wish of  her heart. 

And much as she would try to deny it to him or anyone else who would even try suggesting it, deep within her soul, he knows she craves it. 

To belong to a true family of her own.

“Maybe not yet or even in the next few years, but one day, I am certain. You will” Finn assures her with an affectionate kiss to her forehead. Rey cannot help but smile and take comfort in his easy friendship.

“One day ,  we will see you settled.  I can feel it in my bones”.

Resting his head against her shoulder, he looks out at the slowing setting suns peeping behind the trees. A happy hum of contentment escaping his mouth as he enjoys this small, quiet moment with his dear friend. However, he cannot help but tease her a little even as they ponder in mutual tranquility

“Perhaps you’ll fall for a hot headed, former flyboy of the resistance or some, handsome charming smuggler with a secret heart of gold” he muses further, enjoying the flush of scarlet across Rey’s cheeks. Her blush an automatic and unsubtle physical response she cannot control.

Even still she tries to deflect the obviousness of her unease.

“You do realise....you’ve just literally described Poe Dameron to a tee” Rey smirks slyly, willing her burning cheeks to cool as swiftly as possible. 

Finn laughs, eyes sparkling with good humour as he recognizes  she’s not wrong .

“Well....Dameron was never shy of attention or admirers, so that devil may care attitude clearly works on some”.

“You know what I think, Rose has made you watch one too many romance holos lately. It’s scrambled your brain” Rey retorts, playfully shoving him off her shoulder with a laugh.

Finn snorts loudly along with her but does not let the issue lie.

“Maybe there’s a small amount of truth in that statement....but, I always assumed  you’d be one of those girls with a weakness for bad  boys anyway” he replies with a  mocking tone “Some misunderstood hero with hidden layers.”

Rey’s blush deepens as she considers just how uncomfortably close to reality his statement hits. He just unfortunately underestimates by several light years, just how much of an apparent  _ bad boy _ her heart has settled on.

“You have a very vibrant imagination” she retorts, poking him in his side as he giggles again.

“And you have the worst Sabacc face I have ever seen” Finn counters with an arch of his dark eyebrow. Delighting in watching her squirm at the implication, her secrets starting to unravel.

“I take it, given the current shade of those burning cheeks of yours, you may have already found said rogue.”

Rey curses her open, honest face as she clenches her jaw to save from arguing back. Because  to protest  too much  on this matter  was  to  reveal too mu ch.

“The only bad boy that currently holds any affection in this heart, is your sweet, but frequently misunderstood charge.” She quips as Finn rolls his eyes. 

Knowing Mika is the least of his worries,

“Somehow I don’t believe you ."

Rey shrugs as she puts the bottle up to her lips for one last gulp. Her lips curling up in a roguish smirk as she downs the last of the liquor.

“Well you’re going to have to" she answers demurely.

“One day, Master Skywalker, I will get the truth out of you.” Finn smirks back, wagging his finger at her as he scolds her evasiveness. Rey snorts before tossing her now empty bottle into the long grass to join Finns.

“One day, you’ll stop being so damn pushy”.

“So you’re telling me, hand on heart, there is no one in your life currently?” Finn asks, the question so loaded, Rey cannot help but frown a little. 

“Because....there’s something different about you. I don’t know what it is but it’s there, something so subtle and hard to pin down.....but changed all the same”. 

Rey opens her mouth to answer but cannot find it in herself to lie to him. This change is demeanor is as obvious as the freckles on her face, for wears this new bloom of love and worry for Ben like a bleeding heart upon her breast. In the end, it serves no one to deny it and insult his intelligence.

“There may be someone” Rey admits, voice low and at odds with the joy she should express. Finns eyes light up in response, a goofy, victorious grin spreading across his mouth.

“I knew it, I knew it the second I saw you this morning!” he exclaims triumphantly and Rey groans with dread. Hands covering her face as she groans again at finding herself in this situation.

“So you got a boyfriend now, a cute boyfriend?” he asks gleefully, feeding off the embarrassment rolling from her body language.

“Just please stop” she pleads, face flushing a deeper and deeper red.

“Do I know him, I bet I know him” Finn says excitedly, reading Rey’s unconscious answer by the tiny twitch of her mouth. Expression shifting to masked panic as soon as he suggests it. 

Rey’s heart is beginning to pound as he inches closer and closer to the question that will change everything. Chest tightening with nervousness as he finally asks.

“Who is it? What’s his name?”

It’s now or never, she must tell him the truth. Rip off this redundant bandage of self protection like a bacta patch.

Turning to face him she gulps hard; her eyes finding his as she bites at her lip. Finn’s playful smile falls as he sees the reluctance written across her face.

“What? What is it? Tell me” he implores, suddenly worried. At the back of his mind, that same dread from the early hours seems to spread again through his gut. 

There’s no doubt, whatever Rey has come here to ask of him, has everything to do with the mystery man she is reticent to discuss.

“I....I...” Rey stutters, the acidic burning taste of bile rising in her throat. At first she thinks it is merely a symptom of her fear and the stress this secret has brought her. The gurgling of her stomach nothing more than nerves.

But then.

“Oh Gods” Rey cries painfully before bolting of the log to vomit in the long grass at the edge of the forest. The regurgitated, foul taste of Jannah’s home brew flying from her mouth and splattering violently on the ground in front of her.

Finn is soon at her back, rubbing slow, soothing circles into her spine as she empties her stomach.

“It’s okay, let it out.....it’s not the first time Jannah’s hooch has made someone yak” he chuckles, rubbing her back repeatedly until the retching slowly stops and Rey can rise from her hunched position.

“I wish you’d warned me of that before I necked the whole thing” she grumbles touchily, breathing deeply as her nausea wanes as quickly as it began. Finn shrugs his shoulders as he hands her a flask of cool water. Watching her guzzle it down, until the taste of bile is nothing more than a suggestion on her tongue.

“Usually it takes more than one bottle. I guess your tolerance isn’t what it used to be” Finn smirks amiably.

Wiping at her mouth, Rey sighs as takes another long gulp of water. Grudgingly accepting there is some small amount of truth in this statement.

“Maker, that tasted almost as bad on the way up as it did on the way down” she groans unhappily.

“What tasted worse on the way up?” Rose’s concerned voice says on the other side of the clearing. Her kind face scrunched up in confusion.

“Rey had a bit of an adverse reaction to Jannah’s new batch” Finn smirks, jerking his thumb back toward the steadily cooling puddle of sick behind him.

“Oh Gods” Rose winces “Been there. You okay Rey?”

Rey nods before giving her a weak smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little embarrassed” she laughs awkwardly.

“Nonsense, it happens to the best of us” Finn assures her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her in the direction of their camp.

“Come on, let’s get some food in your belly and you’ll soon you’ll be right as rain.”

Rose links her arm through Rey’s slack arm on the other side, gazing up at her friend sympathetically.

“I’m making bantha stew with dumplings, you’re favourite” .

Rey’s stomach turns a little at the suggestion of eating, but she gifts Rose a watery smile in reply.

“Sounds great”.

Finn can still feel the pulse of apprehension beating off her in waves through the Force. It has now been three failed attempts between them, to extract the truth about her trip here. Frustration is starting to get the better of him now.

But, it seems fate has other plans for them that evening than dissecting whatever complicated entreaty Rey intends for him.

In retrospect, he possibly should have warned her about the home brew before she drank the whole thing and saved them this latest interruption. But then again, retrospect's a bitch anyway.

“Please don’t tell Jannah about what I said just now, you know, the whole tasting worse on the way down thing” Rey says guilty, suddenly looking stricken by the idea.

Finn and Rose both snort in reply, fully aware just how foul the liquor is to the taste buds.

“Wouldn’t dream of it” Rose laughs with a furtive glint in her almond colored eyes.

“Some things are best left unsaid”.

* * *

It is dark by the time Rey retires for the evening. Exhausted by the afternoon’s intensity and the weight of the secret now pressing upon her. She and Finn had not had another chance to chat alone that evening, her time frequently taken up by Mika and Tuda’s constant demands for attention and Rose’s unending chatter.

Not that Rey bemoans the latter. Though she did not give the game away to Rose that Finn had told her, there had been these shared looks exchanged tonight that leaves no doubt.

Rose suspects Rey knows.

And as such, Rey takes pleasure in hearing her friend talk so buoyantly, brimming with life and rapture.

To observe what it is to be so blissfully happy and free of worry.

Fulfilled and secure of their place in the universe.

Though she had denied it when Finn had raised the issue earlier, deep inside the safe confines of her own sanguine mind, she longs for it one day.

This sense of belonging to something greater than one's own desires. The most ancient of connections formed eons ago.

That of a mother and child.

She will ache for it when the time is right.

Taking her leave as the night closes in, she hugs Rose even tighter. Feeling the tiny flicker of forming light inside her body, vibrating happily as it says hello.

“Sleep well” Rey whispers to them both, shooting Finn a happy smile over Rose’s shoulder as she mouths.

_ ‘Congratulations’ _

They part ways after that and Rey is soon at her cabin door. Hopeful she will find Ben waiting on the other side. She is desperate to see him.

Rey breaths out a sigh of relief as finds him standing by the small window by her bed. Staring out at the moonlight forest around them, his profile illuminated by the silvery brilliance flooding in.

“There you are” Rey murmurs happily, wrapping her arms around his middle as she buries her face in the space between his shoulders. Ben seems to stiffen for a moment before his posture relaxes and his arm covers hers with a happy hum.

“Here I am” he replies with a low chuckle, the sound of it grating on her ear.

As if forced violently from his chest to attempt an image of good humour.

Something is so off in the timbre and rumble of it, that it instantly puts Rey on high alert. Even still, she grips him closer as this thought pulls at her mind.

“Where have you been all day?” she gripes after a beat, tone close to scolding as her hold tightens.

“I could ask you the same question” he retorts, gently prizing her arms from around his abdomen. He turns to face her, hands finding her slim hips as he pulls her close.

The action strikes her as oddly possessive and does not exhibit his usual tenderness. His grip is tight on her hips and the tendons of his neck stand up tensely under his skin, as if preparing for her inevitable escape.

“You didn’t seem all that concerned for my absence earlier” he says sourly. 

There’s a flash of hurt in his whiskey hued gaze as he looks down at her. Rey frowns bewildered by his less than enthusiastic welcome.

“I didn’t know where you went, you’re the one that ran off” she replies touchily.

“Ran off? You know I don’t have a choice when and where I appear.It’s not as if you came looking for me” he argues back, his own frown deepening as he leans closer. There is nothing seductive or affectionate about the action, his expressive eyes now glaring at her.

“But if you must know, I spent most of my day with a very troubled, but very sweet seven-year-old boy while you spent the day reminiscing with your old traitor friend  _ Finn _ .”

The barb of bitterness slips out of Ben quite unexpectedly, a further frustration at her seeping through into the air between them. Rey stiffens at the insult, her jaw clenching tightly as her nostrils flare.

“I was helping him with his work, not that I need to explain myself to you” she bites back, pulling herself away from his grip. Stepping back, it is her turn to glare at him now as she creates some space between them.

She does not understand where this antagonism is coming from or why he is looking at her with such a wounded expression. Rey does not know what she has possibly done wrong to upset this much.

“Helping him with his work! Is that what you call drinking until you throw up?” Ben growls back, big arms crossing over his chest as he levels another angry scowl in her direction. Rey’s face pales with this latest dig, immediately embarrassed the smell of vomit has not faded enough for him to discount it.

She must have splattered some on her boots she realizes, moaning internally as she notices the slight tang now he mentions it.

But it is a realisation that does not cool her indignation one bit, how dare he throw that in her face.

“Yeah I had one small bottle of liquor Ben, one small bottle in a moment of weakness after a hard day of manual work. So I’m sorry this bothers you so much” Rey answers caustically, her own temper rising little by little.

“It turned my stomach by the way, that’s what made me sick you ass. I didn’t throw up because I was drunk”

Ben scowl falls for a second as he realizes she is telling the truth. Feeling a little remorseful for his rash jump to conclusions.

“Oh” he mumbles sheepishly.

“Yeah...Oh. But thanks for the complete lack of sympathy by the way.”

Ben’s scowl quickly returns as he takes umbrage to her truculent tone.

“Look I’m sorry, truly I am. I made assumptions I should have” he grinds out, stepping closer.

“But the fact remains, you didn’t give me a second thought today. Not when you have  _ them  _ to hold your attention”. 

Ben chews on his discontent as Rey looks at him like he lost his damn mind.

“You are kidding me, right?” Rey hisses back at him furiously, conscious not to raise her voice and rouse her friends to her door.

“I spent all day thinking about you, why else do you think I am here?”

“I don’t know Rey, why exactly  _ are  _ we on Endor? Because last time I checked, we were headed swiftly toward Ahch-To. Straight to the place you had spent weeks....no literal blood, sweat and tears ….to find.” Ben growls, stepping even closer as irritation seems to vibrate through every inch of his body. Tensing his shoulders and jaw as he fights against the urge to rage and destroy everything in his path.

“Why are we not on Ahch-To right now? Why is spending time with your friends suddenly so much more important than that.”

Rey’s exasperation at him seems to dim as she looks up at him with a new understanding.

There it was, the very root of his hurt and anger. This masked confusion and misplaced belief he is being sidelined, abandoned for the sake of her friends’ need ahead of his own.

This expectant, flaying agony of neglect, reminiscent of the times when the war and their confused loyalties had torn them apart at the seams.

Jealousy twists his mind and poisons his thoughts, this feeling of dejection shrouding her true intentions. Distorting everything until nothing remains but bitterness.

He cannot take it.

“Why are we here Rey?” he growls again, demanding an answer as he looms over her with fiery eyes.

“Why are we on Endor?”

* * *

Finn yawns heavily as he slides into bed a few cabin over, sheets cool against his skin as he nestles his face into his pillows. Rose is close behind him, skin blotted red from her nightly wash in the communal fresher. Her hair is damp and loose against her shoulders as she sits upon the edge of the bed. Running a fine comb through the tangle of knots in her hair with an audible grunt.

She sighs softly as she pauses for a moment. Angling her head to look back at Finn with trepidation.

“You told Rey didn’t you” she mumbles softly.

“Technically no....she guessed.” Finn grumbles back, rubbing at his tired eyes “But when she asked outright, I didn’t correct her. What else could I do?”.

“But she knows” Rose states more than asks, a worried set forming on her brow.

Finn exhales loudly, realisig now she is not going to drop it quite yet.

Sitting up, he catches Roses hand in his with a smile.

“Yes, she knows....and she is very happy for us. Blissfully in fact.”.

Rose’s tense look softens a little at this. A flitter of a smile gracing her mouth.

“What about Jannah?” she says carefully, searching Finn’s eyes for confirmation.

“No, she doesn’t know.” Finn replies quietly, mindful of how unfair this is to someone who is practically a sister to him.

“Maker Finn, we need to tell her tomorrow! Especially now Rey’s found out!” Rose groans, picking at the comb with her fingers as she pulls her hand from his. Pulling forcefully at the metal teeth as she seeks to distract her turning mind.

“We will, I promise” Finn vows earnestly, stilling her worrying hands with his own steady one.

“We’ll tell Jannah once we get the new troopers checked in”.

Rose nods at this, forcing herself to smile back at him even as the warmth doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Kissing her shoulder, he gives her a reassuring and gentle smile. Coaxing a small, genuine grin from Rose as her face softens.

Finn runs her thumb over her jaw as he leans in to kiss her, to chase the last of that cold terror from her face, when the action is quickly interrupted by the sound of high-pitched giggling from the dorm to the left of their quarters.

“Mika.... Gods that child” Finn mutters with a tired but bemused smirk “He must still have Rey’s holoprojector in there. Cheeky little Togruta”

Rolling off the other side of the bed and to his feet, he grabs his tshirt before shuffling his way towards the door to scold the boys.

“Go easy on him and maybe....be nice?” Rose suggests with a slight arch of her eyebrow.

Finn grins back as he pauses by the frame, shooting her a good-natured wink.

“I’m always nice”.

* * *

Rey’s own anger subsides as she sees how disheartening this all would seem to him. Deviating from a path she had so fervently set, appearing to put all her vital plans for him on the wayside to focus on her friends.

It would hurt her too, if the roles had been reversed.

“Ben.....” she begins quietly “It’s not what you think”.

“Then explain it to me, please” he demands “help me understand.”

Rey hesitates as her features twist. Her eyes fall from his indignant face as she grapples with the war within herself.

She had never intended to tell Ben about what happened in the cave on Dagobah until after she had reached Ahch-To. He would have begged her to reconsider, to abandon the endeavor altogether. 

But it seems as though she will have no other choice but to tell him. Only yesterday she had told him they were going to Ahch- To.

And now?

How else will she ever explain this abrupt change of course?

“Ben there’s something I never told you” she finally admits, pulling her eyes up to meet his probing gaze. Watching as the ire seems to ebb away little by little, a relief found in the whiskey of his eyes to know there will be an end to the chaos in his mind.

To know she will give an answer and resolution to that burning question of why.

However, his comfort isn't as forthcoming as he would like.

Rey just stares at him for a long moment, biting at her lip as her fear overwhelms her.

Secrets have been the ruin of this day and yet, this one, is the least of all her problems. Still, her flailing courage is a weak pulse of impediment in her gut. Holding her tongue hostage as Ben’s frustration flares once more. Temper returning as he runs out of patience.

“Rey...just tell me” he growls, striding forth and gripping her face roughly between his hands. His cruel grip loosening as soon as he sees her lip tremble in reply, her own upset rising like a wave upon the shore. Crashing over him like a cold, breathless terror. 

He has scared her with his fury, frozen his fearless girl with the recklessness of his action.

Ben’ anger dies within him in an instant, horrified he has laid his hands on her like that. He runs his thumbs over her flushed cheeks in a silent apology. Catching her gaze with a shamed look of his own. Pressing a kiss to the edge of her hairline, he pulls her into his chest without a word. 

Rey seems to sigh and relax against him as he envelops her in that all-consuming embrace. Her arms wrapping around his middle as she buries her face in the familiar, navy material of his shirt.

He holds her close as he tries to atone for his terrible behavior, kissing her temple and the crown of her head as she sighs against him. Panic subsiding.

“Rey, sweetheart. Please just tell me” Ben begs tenderly, running his hand over her hair with slow, soothing strokes. Rey lets out a long, shuddering breath against his chest before rising her head to look at him.

“I saw something on Dagobah. I saw something in the cave.” she trembles, looking up at him such with terror in those hazel eyes. Ben does not say anything in reply, doesn’t do anything but hold her close and wait for her to continue. Hands rubbing up and down her back slowly as he tries to sooth the worry from her body.

“I saw him, I saw Palpatine”

Ben’s hands stall at the small of her back, eyes widening as he comes to terms with all she has just admitted aloud.

“I know he’s gone, but.....that darkness that lived in him....it was looking for me. Waiting for me down in that cave.”

Something clicks in Ben’s mind, an awful realization forming in his minds as all the disparate pieces align. Signs he had been too blinded by jealousy to see until now.

“You’re afraid to go to Ahch-To, to venture through that gate between Worlds by yourself. You needed Finn” he surmises quietly, gut turning terribly in guilt. Ashamed he had questioned her motivations, doubted her dedication.

He has truly been a fool.

Rey nods solemnly.

“I need Finn.... Ben I can’t go into that place alone, the darkness.....if things go wrong, it will claim us both.”

Gripping her face between his hands again, there’s a ferocity to his next words. A belief so resolute it is hard not to be swayed by it.

“I will not let that happen; you hear me”.

Taking her by surprise, he crushes his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. Leaving them both breathless with the force and passion of it.

“If it is a choice between you or me, you have save yourself. Do you understand?” he urges against her mouth, kissing her again with a desperation Rey cannot help but match. Their lips only part again with this final plea.

“You must save yourself. Promise me”.

* * *

Mika is sitting up on his bed, roaring with laughter as he and Tuda watch Moray and Faz on Rey’s holoprojector. They are beaming at the holo with matching grins when Finn enters the small dorm of four bunks.

Both boys falter as they spot him by the door, considering hastily shoving the projector under the bunk and feigning sleep for one brief, brainless moment.

“Boys” he intonates sternly, looking between the two padawans with an arch of brow “You know it’s well passed lights out”.

Tuda stares at the floor shamefaced, muttering “Sorry Master” as if waiting for the ground to come and swallow him up whole.

Mika is a little more brazen, giving Finn a winning smile.

“The show was just so good, I forgot how long we were watching”.

“Mika, you know full well it’s way passed your bedtime” he smirks despite himself “But.....seeing as you did so very well on your Auberesh translations today, let’s just call it even for tonight.” Mika grins at his rare praise, nodding in agreement with his Master's indulgence. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“So no horrible chores tomorrow as punishment?” Tuda exclaims in relief, as if awed by the prospect of escaping the usual sanctions for bad behaviour. 

“No horrible chores tomorrow” Finn assures them both “But only if you both promise me you’ll go straight to sleep ”.

The two padawans nod enthusiastically, lying down against their pillows without another word. Finn chuckles in reply as gathers the holoprojector from Mika’s bunk, safely storing it under his arm as he does his final checks for the night.

He is just about to bid them sweet dreams when a small piece of paper catches his attention. A colorful pastel drawing of a man done in Mika’s childish scrawl. The drawing looks new, some of the wax rubbing off on his fingers as he picks up the picture from the floor. The boy had done a few drawings in his free time over the last few weeks after his mother had sent him a new pack of crayons for his name day. Drawings of trees, portraits of Jannah and Rose and few silly pictures of the Woklings he knew. But there is something different in this new rendition that make Finn pause.

Something about the figure that seems all too familiar to him, a memory stoked by the wide slope of his shoulders and the dark shock of black hair that sits around his bright brown eyes. Stupid as it seems, he feels he knows him. 

“Mika, who is this?” Finn asks as nonchalantly as he can muster, knowing Mika is unlikely to draw some random man in such detail. The style of his clothes and way he his face sits half in scowl, half in contemplation, it seems oddly specific. This is someone Mika knows; someone he has made the effort to draw as faithfully as possible.

Mika looks up at the drawing in the nightly gloom, little face frowning in tired confusion.

“That’s Ben, my friend.”

“Ben?” Finn repeats, a ripple of apprehension shooting up his spine “Ben who?”

Mika frowns again, yawning as he squirms to get comfortable in his bed.

“Mika...Ben who?” Finn ask more insistently.

The little boy groans, body growing sleepier and sleepier now he has lain his head upon his pillow.

“Ben Solo.....he’s Rey’s friend too. She came here to help him get unstuck.” he replies grumpily.

“Unstuck?” 

“Unstuck” the little boy repeats before turning on his side and yawning once more. 

Finn stares at the boys back, itching to ask him more. But Mika is already starting to close his eye and settle in to sleep. 

He should leave him be and figure this out on his own.

Looking at the drawing in his hand, that old familiar dread seems to rise.

It couldn’t be, could it?

This was all a coincidence, right?

Mika could have picked up that name along the way, gleaned its significance from visiting stormtroopers and Maz’s tales of the war.  Ben Solo. While not as famous a name in the galaxy as his murderous pseudonym, his birth name is well known among some circles. 

Finn's padawan could have picked it up if he had been playing close enough attention.

It seems a stretch, but it is plausible.

Furthermore.

Rey’s mystery man could not possibly be Ben Solo, that monster of a creature who had died on Exegol over three years ago. The same man that had nearly brought the galaxy to its knees.

It was all a coincidence, it had to be.

There was no way Rey would dare ask him to help with anything associated with Kylo Ren.

She couldn’t.

Could she?

Dropping the paper from his hand, Finn marches out the door and strides his way toward Rey’s cabin.

Praying this was all a big misunderstanding, merely the work one very overly imaginative child.

It couldn't be real.

* * *

Rey is pressed against the wall of her cabin, Ben's eager hips bearing down on hers when she hears the handle of her door start to rattle.

She pushes Ben's bare chest away from her as she listen intently

The sudden, bone chilling thought filling her mind as she sees the door begin to open, she did not lock the stupid thing when she came in.

It is too late to cover up, to hide what they were doing before Finn bursts inside. The evidence is written all over lips, seared into the flesh on her neck and chest. They could be stood a hundred feet apart and Finn would have known her dirty little secret.

Finn's apology for barging in freezes on his tongue as his gaze falls on Ben's heaving chest and then on Rey's bewildered, horrified look of shame.

Her lips parting in shock as time stands still and everyone seems to hold their breath.

Rey cannot hope to explain this rationally to him now.

_Kriff_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shit is about to hit the fan.  
> Stay tuned for arguments galore, some getting busy and some soft and fluffy moments.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on this one.


	13. Blood Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hell breaks loose.
> 
> Warnings of violence and description of injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers,
> 
> So this chapter did not go as planned and started to surpass 10k words, so....it has been split!  
> The next part is planned to be done before the end of the week, fingers crossed!  
> Every time I sit down to write this story the characters lead me a different path than I intended, like they are the ones telling the story (if that makes sense).
> 
> This chapter is darker than the last one, but I can't help writing angst!
> 
> The next chapter will resolve some of the complete chaos of this installment and will have some much needed Reylo interactions.
> 
> Hope everyone is keeping safe and thank you for all the support and kind words during this trying time.
> 
> See you soon.
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen

_Kriff_ _._ _Karking_ _poodoo_ _!_ _Kr_ _iff_ _!_

There is nothing but rapid intakes of breath at first. Gasping shudders as though the air itself had sought to escape the room.

Rey’s heart thunders in her chest as Finn’s dark eyes zone in on the bruised, blood flushed flesh of her lips, his stunned expression turning sullen as the wheels in his mind mind turn.

Recognizing the patent signs of her tryst with brutal clarity. 

Rey turns head to see Ben glaring at Finn as though he has smelled something rotten, lip curling into a sneer as the shock subsides. 

His glower deepens at Finn as their eyes lock across the room. 

Seizing each other up. 

Nobody moves, nobody speaks. 

They just stare, hold their breath, process what has just happened. 

At first Finn cannot fathom it, catching his best friend in a moment of passion with the man that nearly killed him. A man the whole Galaxy thinks is dead. 

The very man, he had been led to believe _was_ gone. 

Rey had proclaimed as much herself some many moons ago. Recounting the unvarnished, bleak report of his death when she had returned, battered and broken, from Exegol. 

She had told them everything.

Or what Finn had took as everything when she had blankly recounted the facts. 

It had a lie by omission he now realizes, the tale of half-truths to mask the real events.

It all makes sense now. 

At the time he mistook her mournful expression in the wake of that battle, as one of grief for the friend’s they’d lost along the way to victory. 

But now he sees it, Rey had been suffering something else entirely. Grieving the loss of one lost soul more than others. 

Rey had languished in misery while Finn had rejoiced in Kylo Ren’s death, felt hopeful at his absence. 

And yet, there he stood. Glaring at him as if Finn is the dirty below his feet, brutish aggression rolling off his shoulders in waves. 

Living, breathing and holding Rey, like he wasn’t the monster Finn knew he was. 

It stokes something dark and dangerous within him and Finn is lost to his own anger and fear. 

The silence stretches on,a tension simmering under the surface of his mind like water boiling in a pot. Building bit by bit, bubbling to a crescendo until the riotus energy within overflows.

Bursting forth in every direction. 

When Rey thinks back on this moment, she will never quite recall who shifts first and sets this mess into motion. 

But all at once, all the chaos they fought to contain, explodes like a supernova in the small space of her cabin. The escaping rage and hatred twisting into violence as the two opposing forces collide. 

Setting instinct into motion. 

At first, Finn frantically reaches for the sabre that usually sits at his hip, fingers faltering on the soft material of his night clothes as he curses himself for striding into her room unarmed. 

But it doesn't stop him.

Doesn't let it curb the anger that is surging through his body.He charges at Ben's blinking form with a reckless abandon that betrays the extent of his resentment. The collision driving them both back into the opposing wall with an audible thud, Finn's fists instantly shunting toward the tender flesh of Ben’s body. Swinging without much thought of where he hits, as long as it hurts. 

But Ben is ready, instinct springing into life as he arches his body out of harm’s way. His massive hands quickly crash down on Finn’s back in brutal reply. Thumping him as they grapple against the cabin wall.

His curled fists land directly on the mass of scar tissue running up Finns spine, pummeling him again and again. Ben takes twisted pleasure in the howls of pain he drags from Finn's mouth, exploiting the disfigurement he'd given him years before.

Finn responds in kind, releasing a well-aimed dig to Ben’s side and making him wince as the knuckles land painfully close to his kidneys. 

Bellows of pain and rising fury, roar from them both as the brawl continues. Blow after blow exchanged as they battle for dominance.

Ben strikes every delicate spot he can find, while Finn’s flailing fists seeks Ben's exposed abdomen as he attempts to batter him into submission. 

Rey stands and watches them in utter silence, frozen in shock at how quickly things have escalated. She is unable to move, to end this fracas as it snowballs into something more and more vicious. 

All she can do is watch in horror as they tear each other apart.

But then, physical fight starts to turn almost as quickly as it begins.

Ben's superior size and strength earning him the upper hand as he manages to subdue Finn in a grapple. Lifting his hapless foe and hurling him over the small frame of Rey's bed in a burst of strength.

Finn hits the ground hard but rolls quickly to his feet, clutching at his shoulder as he tries to ignore the pain exploding through every sinew of the joint. He glares at the dark eyed menace panting a few feet away as he tries to ignore the ache in his shoulder. 

Unfortunately, Ben is far from finished, his blood pumping hard and fast through his veins. Overcome by his own ferocity and need to dominate this fight.

He acts before Finn can surprise him again, closing the gap in one swift, thundering step to grab the collar of Finn’s night shirt and drive his head savagely into his face. A cracking noise rings out as soon as his head connects with the bone. The head-butt immediately sends Finn careening to the floor as his nose breaks, blooding gushing down his jaw. The warm sticky liquid comes away in this hand as tries to wipe his mouth free. Scrambling to his feet as Ben advances again. 

A feral growl leaves Ben’s lips as he is lost to the rage pulsing within him. Stepping in again to swing a single punch, hard and true across Finns jaw when he attempts to swing back at him halfheartedly. 

Finn gasps with the force of it, stumbling away from Ben in a haze of confusion. This second blow completely knocking him for six. 

Blood spews across the wooden floor as he spits desperately to clear his mouth of gore, barely having the time to breath before Ben advances quickly to hit him again. The second punch nearly taking Finn of his feet as he stumbles back and grunts in shock. His mind a fog of pain and disorientation. 

Rey continues to watch on in horror as all sense of control is lost. Weak protests of _please stop,_ falling on deaf ears.

It is too late.

Ben flies into a blind rage as Finn manages to kick out at him. Connecting with his shin in a lackluster attempt to keep him at bay.

It only makes him madder, Ben gripping the material of Finn's shirt once more and arching his fist back to pound him a third, and possibly, final time.

Rey begs and pleads his fist does not make that final journey, certain this exacting blow will do untold damage. 

But Ben’s knuckles do not connect, arm stopping dead as Finn finally finds the strength and focus to send Ben flying across the room. The Force vibrating around him as he roars in anger. 

Ben strikes the cabin wall so hard, the impact completely winds him. Exclamations of pain a choking gurgle as he falls to his knees in a gasping heap on the floor. He is certain he has cracked a rib or two from the angle he hit the cabin, every breath an agony filled rattle through his chest. 

His neck throbs from force of the blow, whiplash making him see stars as his head remains in disarray. 

Ben does not have long to recover or understand what is happening before Finn sends him flying into the wall again. The fall to the floor this time, cracking his head off the wood and knocking him clean out.

Everything goes black and the World fades to nothing. 

There is a deadly stillness for a moment as the tension deflates, but the fire of hatred does not leave with it.

Finn's battered face twisting with malice as his eyes search the room for what he seeks. Knowing he has his enemy exactly where he wants him.

Rey knows she must act, must stop this, seeing the dark resolve fill her friend's face. But her legs won’t move, muscles won’t contract even as her brain sends signal after signal to set body into motion. She screams at her feet to just take a step and then another, to respond to her pleas, but her limbs remain locked in place.

Finn is advancing now, a murderous look on his face as Ben lies on his side, motionless on the floor. 

She is running out of time. 

Ben's head starts to pound in earnest as he comes around and rolls onto his front. Knowing beyond a doubt his face had ricocheted off the floor when he hit the deck this time. Cheek tender and hot as he rests against the cold timber of the floor. 

He can taste the blood flowing from his split lip, feels the gash weeping onto his forehead as the hot liquid flows down his cheek in steady, stinging pulses. 

He is immobilized by the pain. 

Finn takes the opportunity Ben’s injures present and call Rey's blaster into his hand. The weapon cold and hard against his palm as he points it straight at his head. Removing the safety and taking aim as Ben wheezes on the floor, struggling to catch his breath. Finn steels himself to take the shot and end this nightmare before it truly begins. 

Too caught up in his own torment to realize the wrongness of it all. Of the darkness that fills him in those moments. 

He doesn’t care, he _wants_ to kill him. To watch the life drain from his eyes. 

Finn’s finger twitches on the trigger, heartbeat slowing as he breathes deep. 

But as he readies himself to squeeze and fire, Rey finally finds her voice and bounds into the space between. A desperate tremble on her lips as she speaks. 

"Finn, that’s enough. Please...Just put the blaster down' she begs, tears starting to well in her eyes. 

She is terrified, shocked by the distorted version of her friend she sees. 

"Get out of the way" Finn growls, his own hand starting to shake as he holds the blaster aloft. Aim still locked on the space Ben’s head occupies directly behind her. 

“Finn this isn’t you!” Rey cries, not moving one inch from Ben’s prone body “Please just put the blaster down.. You don’t have to do this.” 

Finn’s bloody and battered face contorts as he feels himself begin to tear up, gritting his teeth as he grips the blaster tighter. 

“Yes I do, now get out of the way Rey!” he growls. 

Rey can feel Ben stirring against her, groaning as he tries to push himself up onto his knees. 

“Ben, stay the hell where you are!” she screams at him “Don’t you dare move”. 

Ben can only grunt in reply, collapsing once more to the ground as his strength fails him. 

Finns face twists, jaw clenching as he glares at Rey with exasperation. 

“Get out of the way Rey. Please” 

His hands are shaking more violently even as he demands she move, conviction wavering with each passing second. His conscience is starting to creep up on him now, fully aware how Rey will hate him if he does this. 

The longer this moment stretches, the more he knows in his heart.

He cannot kill someone in cold blood, cannot be judge, jury and executioner to an injured, unarmed man. 

Finn's anger starts to ebb away as he looks into his friend’s devastated eyes. Seeing how the deed is splitting her in two and testing every loyalty she has ever had. 

But Rey has made her choice, and it will not be him. It will not be Finn.

It is a fact that pains them both. 

“Put down the weapon Finn. Don’t make me fight you” she says more coldly, reaching for her sabre. She does not ignite it, holding it down by her thigh as she watches him carefully. 

But Finn is in no doubt, she will use it against him if she must. 

For now, her doleful eyes beg him to take a step back, to see what his anger is doing to him. 

Finn’s eyes sadden as he sees the truth written across her face, she will never stand down. She will do anything to protect the man sprawled out on the floor behind her, even if it means losing Finn in the process. 

Finn’s bloodthirsty resolve breaks, knowing she will defend that hellion until her dying breath. 

He cannot not fight her, cannot not bear the thought of ever harming her. 

Finn lowers the blaster. 

“Why Rey?” he begins to sob, weapon weakening in his grasp as his conviction fails. 

“Out of everyone in the entire Galaxy, why’d it have to be him?”. 

Rey opens her mouth to respond, hand still gripping tightly to the hilt of her sabre even as the dangerous tension starts to deflate. Leaving them all with a feeling of such emptiness and despair, it takes the breath from her lungs. 

“Why Rey?” Finn asks again, ruined face crumpling with the agony he feels inside at this betrayal. 

Rey opens her mouth to speak again, sighing heavily before uttering the only words that ever really matter. 

“Because I love him Finn”. 

It shatters his heart, that poisoned, simple admission. 

Finn scoffs bitterly, wiping at his wounded mouth before he looks back at her with growing scorn. 

“You _love_ him....Well isn’t that just wonderful....” he replies snidely “I sincerely hope that monster is worth it, because you and I....we're done”. 

“Finn...” Rey whimpers, attempting to step closer to him. 

“No” he growls, raising a hand in warning to stop her in her tracks. 

“No” Finn repeats more softly this time, dejected and hurt by her seeming disloyalty and dishonesty. 

He tosses the blaster at her feet, utterly disgusted by the sight of Ben rising like a bloody spectre behind her. No longer heeding Rey’s warning as he scowls back at Finn with venom. 

Finn finds an odd satisfaction in the black bruise blooming across his cheek and the crimson streak of blood that stretches across his forehead. Kylo Ren has been well and truly beaten for once. 

But it is a short lived and hollow victory, for the war has already been lost. 

Rey has been lost. 

Finn looks between them both furiously, that old bitter anger still smoldering below the surface. 

Eager to spark back into life at the smallest provocation. 

He needs to leave, now. 

“I want you both gone by morning” Finn orders coldly “or I swear, next time , I won’t hesitate to pull the damn trigger”. 

The threaten rings out between them before he turns on his heel and storms out into the unnervingly silent night. 

“Finn!” Rey calls to him sorrowfully, shuddering with the weight of her churning emotions. She races after him without a second thought and leaves Ben blinking in her wake. 

Crestfallen by the decision. 

* * *

The noise from the brutal fight has drawn the attentions of many creatures in the village that night. Wide eyed and wary Ewoks peer carefully across the glade, muttering sulkily about their deafening and downright inconsiderate neighbors. The din having roused more than one Wokling from their sleep, the young whimpering in fright and disorientation as their mothers sooth them. The Ewok elders chatter amongst themselves, collectively deciding given the clattering, roaring sounds coming from the human’s quarters, it was not an altercation they are willing to interfere with. 

The Jedi were not ones to be trifled with!

Furthermore this battle sounds as though the victor has been called already. 

They watch as a man with dark skin storms out one of the doors and across a rope bridge, swiping at his face as he moves. 

Another dark-skinned person seems to call to him from the other side, and the observing Ewoks decide they have pried enough for now. Agreeing instead to retire to their beds for the night, intent on settling their grievance over the disturbances tomorrow. 

The worst is over already at least, it was best to let things lie until the morning. 

* * *

“Finn what happened to your face?” Jannah calls from the doorway of her cabin, watching as her friend thumps his way down onto the forest floor without a word. Her building concern etches lines all over her face as she senses a dark wave of fury surrounding him. 

“Finn?” Jannah calls again, voice infinitely more distressed as he ignores her and strides on into the forest in a flurry of indignation and anguish. 

It is not long until the figure of Rey comes rushing across the rope bridge, searching the near ground for something. 

“Finn” she says shakily “Did you see where Finn went?” 

Jannah points to the spot Finn had disappeared into only moments before, calling after Rey with growing unease as her mentor leaps the wooden barrier and lands several metres below. Pausing by the break in the trees as she searches the dark. 

“Rey! What in the Maker’s name is going on?” Jannah bellows down to her. 

Rey likewise does not answer her and streaks off in pursuit of Finn. 

Something is definitely wrong. 

Pulling her jacket close around her shoulders, Jannah darts toward Finn’s cabin. Fully determined on rousing Rose and chasing after their friends to solve this growing mystery. 

* * *

For the longest time the sound of leaves crunching underfoot is the only noise that breaks the silence of the starkly lit forest. The twin moon's basking in the obsidian sky above.

Not even the gentle wind rustles the branches that night, an out of the ordinary stillness falling upon the landscape. 

Finn walks at pace through the low hanging trees, crushing errant twigs and litter as he tries to put as much space between him and the main camp. Needing to clear his head and collect his thoughts before he can even consider telling Rose and Jannah what has just happened. 

But unburdening his mind is proving more and more difficult as time progresses, the adrenaline waning as his heartbeat slows. 

His face _aches_. Throbbing so badly, it overtakes everything in sharp dull thuds. 

Finn stalls as he swipes at his nose carefully, the flow from it now a bare trickle down his jaw. Tenderly examining the bridge with his fingers, it seems the cartilage has been cracked terribly, but the bone remains intact and straight upon his face. 

Not broken then. 

It is a small mercy he concedes, but no less painful as the swelling pulsates with each small touch to the area. 

His face is sure to be a sight tomorrow when he meets their new platoon. The black eyed, bruised cheeked look is not the face they would wish to present upon first meeting. Initial impressions matter for the First Order deserters' and a brawler’s guise is not the one he would wish to make. 

But, he admits grudgingly, his current appearance is partly his own damn fault. 

Charging the kriffing brute may not have been his best idea and it wasn’t as if it was the first time he’d met the end of Ren’s massive fist. 

Much as he hates the very ground Kylo Ren walks on, the man could sure throw a thunderous right hook. 

There is an audible crunch and crack behind him as he hears someone else approaching. Immediately knowing it is Rey quickly closing the distance with rapid, lightfooted steps. 

It rouses his anger once more, the sheer gall she must have to pursue him like this. 

“Stop following me Rey” Finn roars at the darkness, sensing her presence drawing near through the moonlit forest. 

But her steps do not falter, pace instead increasing as she hunts him through the almost dead silence. 

“Rey, I have nothing to say to you” he shouts again, turning his head every direction to find her form shifting in the shadows “nor do I wish to hear anything you have to say.” 

He is rewarded with nothing more than halting steps, Rey remaining silent at least for now.

“Save your breath and just go . Please Rey....just leave” 

His voice is pained as he thinks on what he is losing. 

She is his best friend and greatest champion. The first person who had let him believe he could be more than that broken child, lost and trained to kill. 

The realization shatters his heart once more. 

“You know I can’t do that” Rey replies quietly, her voice a sudden rush of air behind him. Her face is set in a determined frown when he turns, sighing in resignation as he sees her stood a few feet from him. 

It seems they will remain on course for this clash of demands, not that Finn can expect anything different. 

Rey is remarkably single-minded when she needs to be. 

Her features soften as she meets Finn’s fiery gaze, swallowing deeply before continuing and beseeching his gently heart to listen. 

“I need your help Finn. I wouldn’t ask if I had any other choice”. 

He can see it in her face, that acknowledgement that what she is asking of him is way beyond the pale. 

But still she asks it of him.

So desperate to save that titan of the dark, she cannot stop herself from risking everything she knows. 

Finn shakes his head in disbelief. Hurt by her seeming lack of concern or sympathy for his trauma. Not only the physical trauma of the beating Kylo Ren has inflicted upon him, but the mental wounds the situation inflicts upon his psyche. 

Those same wounds Rey has now indirectly caused too. 

Dredging up that fear and hatred.

What had she been thinking bringing Kylo Ren here, knowing the pain his presence would cause? 

It is clear to him now; in this moment Rey only cares about one thing and that _thing_ is most likely sat on her bed still licking his wounds. Sulking in defeat and waiting to lay his degenerate hands on her again. 

The thought alone turns Finn’s stomach almost instantly. 

“You are insane if you think for one second, I would help you with _anything_ to do with that ....that ...that... _creature_!” Finn explodes, spittle forming at the corners of his mouth as he foams with swelling anger. 

“That _monster_ deserves everything you’re trying to save him from.” 

“That _monster’s_ name” Rey replies coolly “is Ben Solo” 

Leveling him a look of such resentment, Finn is almost winded by it. 

Stepping closer to her, his whole body bristles in acrimony. Vexed by her words to the point of madness. 

“Ren can call himself whatever the hell he wants, but it will _never_ change the things he has done or the things he is _still_ capable of doing. Kylo Ren does not deserve my mercy!” 

“Ben Solo is _not_ Kylo Ren....not anymore” Rey argues, glaring back at Finn. Her frustration flares as she struggles to hold her temper. 

"He’s not? Because it certainly kriffing looks like he is!” Finn spits bitterly in reply.

“Did you see what he did to me tonight?” 

He leans closer to her face, letting the moonlit illuminate the mess of his features.

“Did you see what _Ben Solo_ did to my face?” 

Rey’s eyes widen as she takes in the caked, russet scabs on his lips, the remnants of blood streaming from his nostrils and the telltale dark shadow of bruising across his nose. His left eye is also starting to swell shut, the skin underneath stretching and mottling as it throbs. 

Ben has pummeled him so viciously; his face is almost unrecognizable. 

Rey has the decency to at least drop her eyes in guilt, gulping visibly as she chews on lip. 

“Yes” she answers quietly “I saw”. 

“And yet, you still defend him, claim he’s not the same volatile savage he always was. You still expect me to help him!” Finn growls, glaring at her as his head throbs with the stress of it all. 

Rey’s on own irritation rises, annoyed by his twisting of the events. 

“You attacked him first remember!” she spits back “What did you expect?” 

“Nothing. I didn’t expect anything less” Finn sneers, stepping away once more as he regards her with disgust. 

“I am only glad I could give him a taste of his own medicine this time! He can be grateful I didn’t leave him as maimed as I was in the snow.” 

Rey says nothing in reply, there is nothing she can say to that. 

She cannot justify the actions that lead to the scar running up the length of Finn’s spine, the cruel slash that almost paralyzed him for life. 

It will take a long time for Ben to atone for that contemptible deed. 

“Don’t you feel _any_ shame, for having _feelings_ for a man like that?” Finn implores, disappointment clear in his eyes. 

“After everything he did to you, to me, to his own father, I don’t understand how you can even look at him! Help me understand how this happens? ” 

Rey bites at her lip, eyes glassy as she fights the tears tugging at her. Tormented by the answer Finn seeks, knowing there is a very real truth to his barbs. 

How can she ever really explain, to help him understand her gradual and unavoidable change of heart? 

How can she rationalize to him, falling in love with someone you are meant to hate? 

Someone she _had_ hated, vehemently, until the moment she saw the scared, lonely boy that lay underneath. 

And then, how she experienced compassion, kinship and belonging in that same boy.

How can she explain in mere words, how it felt when she saw Ben Solo staring back at her from the eyes of Kylo Ren? 

Those expressive brown eyes seeing her, really seeing her for the first time in her entire life. 

She never stood a chance. 

Breathing deeply, she supposes she owes Finn honesty in the very least. 

“I did, for the longest time, I did feel shame for the things I felt for him. The feelings I tried time and time to deny. To push aside. But....in the end I couldn’t fight it anymore.” 

Finn curls his lip in contempt, but he doesn’t say a word. Despite the enmity running through his veins, he lets her speak. 

“Ben and I, we are a dyad. Bonded by the Force much like you and Jannah. Except stronger” 

Licking her lips, she is relieved to see Finn’s expression relax a little. Understanding washing over him. 

He knows the depth of feeling a bond like that can entail, even if he and Jannah had never been anything beyond a platonic connection. 

It is force that is undeniable and uncontrollable.

“Ben and I....We are like two parts of the same cosmic body....and without him here.....” 

Rey takes a deep breath, unable to finish her sentence for a moment as something desolate rolls in her gut. 

“When he died on Exegol.... because he did _die_ despite what you may think. I never lied about that” Rey mutters bitterly “When he died, he couldn’t become one with the Force.... and I think, because I am still here, living in this world, he cannot cross the barrier to either side.” 

Finn thinks back to what Mika had said to him earlier, Rey is here to help Ben get ‘unstuck’. 

_Unstuck,_ he thinks again. 

Then it strikes him, this small inclination as to where this limbo resides.

There is a place, an ancient place on the edge of the know world, burned into his memory from his study of the Jedi texts with Rey. 

The World between World’s, gate to infinite universes. _If_ you knew the way back out again. 

That’s what she wants, Finn realizes with a start. 

She needs him to help her guide Ben back out again. 

“So, let me get this straight, you expect me to help you rescue that son of a bitch?” Finn huffs unhappily, posture straightening as he crosses his arms over chest. Rey avoids his hostile gaze, nodding solemnly. 

He scoffs bitterly as he shakes his head once more in utter disbelief at her bold request.

“Give me one good reason I should..... because from where I stand, he looks fairly living to me” Finn says coldly. Something unsavory flashes his friend’s eyes as she looks up at him in dissatisfaction. 

Rey seems to shake herself from this sudden rise of animus, schooling her features into an impassive expression before she speaks. 

“Because it’s not permanent” her voice is flat and almost apathetic as lets her narrative unfold “He is here for as long as I hold him with me. And truthfully.....the effort.... is starting to take its toll”. 

Finn tries not to show the sudden flash of concern that fills him, seeing perhaps for the first time the dark circles under her eyes and the dull, pale tone of her skin. 

She looks exhausted. 

Cursed by the monumental task she faces every day. 

It hurts him to realize the strain she is putting herself under to keep that dire man in her orbit. 

“Why not let go? Why kill yourself trying to maintain the impossible?” Finn inquires more gently. Genuinely concerned for her welfare now he see's the truth staring him in the face. 

Rey’s tired eyes grow haunted by the prospect, biting at her lip as Finn continues.

“Why is it so important you risk your life to save him?”. 

Rey sighs sadly, looking off into the dark shadows of the forest as she tries to calm the sudden feeling of dejection rising within her. 

She had never expected this conversation to be easy, but the strain is starting to wear her down. 

“Because I meant what I said, I love him Finn and I won’t abandon him to an eternity of nothingness. Imprisoned on one side of a broken mirror and destined to watch existence march on until the end of time.” 

Finn’s gut burns at her answer, hating the other man for capturing Rey’s heart so completely. But he finds, with utter disgust, he also feels an almost tinge of empathy for Ben Solo. 

He admits only to himself, no one deserves to be trapped in that dark void, at the very edge of existence 

Not even that obnoxious spectre of doom. 

But it doesn’t mean Finn will be swayed to aid his journey back. 

He can pity him and still not deign to help him. 

Even still, her request piques his curiosity. 

“But why do you need my help Rey? You are twice the Jedi I will ever be, what possible reason do you have to drag me into this mad endeavor?” 

Finn’s bruised face is dark and wary as his eyes burn into hers. Rancor not lifting one little bit. 

Rey gulps deeply, a fresh worry gracing her features. She has no choice but to lay all her cards out on the table. There is no other way to convince him. 

“Because I am afraid when I walk into that cave, it will not be me that walks back out” she replies bleakly. 

Finn’s eyebrows rise almost to his hair line as his initial spite is replaced by sincere surprise. 

“I don’t understand” he stutters in reply, tracing her face as he tries to find any inkling of a lie. He searches her eyes carefully for falsehood but finds nothing but stark honesty in reply. 

“I don’t understand” he repeats, a slight shake to his voice. 

Finn almost leaps away as Rey suddenly catches his hands in hers. 

“Let me show you” she urges, a forlorn tone begging him to consent to her touch . 

“Please Finn. Just let me show you.” 

Finn studies her again, taking in the desperate agony that fragments her beautiful face. 

With a heavy heart, he nods in acquiescence to earn a soft, relieved smile from Rey’s lips. 

For a long moment nothing happens, a long, unbroken stare shared between them as the storm within him cools.

But then, Rey's strong, small hands tighten upon his palms as a warmth spreads through his fingers and up to his wrists. 

The gentle, prickling heat rolling into his arms and across the planes of his chest. 

Sending a calming wave of contentment into every corner of his body.

Finn grasps with slight trepidation; realizing Rey is slowly pushing past his defenses and directly into his mind. Filling the small gaps in his synapses with her light as she presses on, the Force humming between them pleasantly. 

He doesn’t have the wherewithal to object, her control over the invasion almost absolute. 

But Finn doesn’t feel as though she is infringing upon his thoughts, violating his will or his ability to form decisions. Simply finding root in some small part of his consciousness to show him what words will never fully express. 

Settling in amongst this new connection, Rey gentle prizes open the last barricade and he is flooded with memories. Recollections of events he has never lived. 

The images flickering in his mind’s eyes as Rey tears through each episode with a fervor and speed that quickly overwhelms him. Then, all at once, she settles on one enduring memory. 

Halting them as she focuses in on the image, letting the remembrance wash over them both. 

And that is when Finn truly understands what she fears. 

He sees it, the path to Ahch- To. 

The days on Dagobah. 

The attack by the Bogwings. 

The cave. 

The vision.

 _Palpatine_. 

Now he knows, sees the darkness that stalks her. 

Finn understands the future that awaits her if that malevolent wraith of darkness catches her in the gate between worlds. He dreads the version of Rey that will arise from that threshold, will not be the form of friend. 

This is why she wants him, needs him there to help her. 

As a sentinel to keep the guiding light of home burning and lead her back home. To stop the shadows surrounding her even now, from closing in. 

This peril she chances upon her own soul, upon the whole future of the galaxy, it will be all in the name of saving Ben Solo. 

With dire epiphany, Finn hates him even more.

Knowing Rey will truly risk everything to get him back. 

How can he deserve such devotion! 

Finn tries to push back as his anger grows again, seeking to tear the tendrils of Rey’s influence from his mind.

He has seen more than enough to form his answer unequivocally. 

But Rey digs in harder, pinning him under the strength of grip, to force another memory into his head. 

She compels him to understand even as he fights against it, thrashing violently to throw her off. 

But he cannot defy her power, screams of defiance silenced as his subconscious is plundered and replanted with a new anamnesis. 

Mind’s eye held open so he will see, will know the truth of her pain. 

And all at once, Finn see’s it all. 

Exegol. 

Palpatine. 

Made know how Ben Solo defied the dark.

Casting off Kylo Ren to re-embrace the light and run to Rey’s aid. 

Finn sees how fights for her, falls with her and rises from the bowels of hell for her. 

Then, Ben Solo _dies_ for her. 

Finally, Finn understands what is owed and what has been given in the name of love. 

And only love. 

Rey had not been wrong, Ben Solo is not Kylo Ren. 

The monster has been slain by his own hand.

But it will exonerate him, not in Finn’s eyes. 

He gasps and falls to his knees as Rey releases him. Air rushing into his lungs as he pants on the damp, forest floor. 

Rey’s voice is clear and fierce as she speaks, looking down at Finn with renewed conviction. 

"When the time came, he didn't hesitate. That man you call a _monster_ , he gave his life for me. He gave me _everything_ he had without a second thought. " 

Finn breathes deeper as the tightness in his chest slowly shifts. 

"One good deed is not enough to absolve a man from a lifetime of wickedness." Finn growls back caustically, resting on his knees as he recovers from her raid on his psyche. 

He is so mad at her for what she has done to him, yet he understands on some level her reasons for doing it. 

If she is in anyway remorseful for her actions, it does not show. 

"But one good deed is enough to condemn him?" Rey argues bitingly, gaze flashing with frustration at Finn’s ceaseless antipathy towards Ben. 

Even after everything she has shown him, all the parts of herself she has lain at his feet. 

The pain, the loneliness. 

Finn won’t even consider seeing the person she loves, as anything more than the sum of his broken, twisted past. 

It kills her inside. 

“Rey I’m sorry” Finn confesses, unable to look her in the face as he recognizes his own shame. 

“I can’t do it; I can’t help you free him.” 

Rising to his feet again, Finn is resolute. 

Disgraced by his own bullheadedness, but unable to consider, even for Rey, forgoing his principles and allowing that once horror of a man to return. 

He will not forgive him for what he has done, he will not be complicit in his absolution. 

Even if convictions will break his friend’s heart in the process. 

“You won’t help me” Rey whimpers, tears pricking at her eyes once more “You’ll let me go into that cave alone, knowing what you know now.” 

Finn squeezes his eyes shut as a ripple of guilt runs through his gut. 

Even still, he nods in assent, catching her gaze for a moment as he looks at her contritely. 

“I can’t do it”. 

Rey glares at him in return, utter disappointment shining in her eyes. 

“You won’t help me” she mutters bitterly. 

“No” Finn sighs sadly, turning slowly and walk away from her. 

Unable to take the dejected look in her face anymore. 

Rey scoff in his wake, a fury rising from the depths of her soul. 

But she bites back her anger, instead appealing to his heart one last time. Begging him to see what his rejection is doing to her. 

"Do you know what it's like, to want something so badly and know, that you can never truly have it.” she says quietly, following behind him as Finn trudges through the brush. Not stopping this time as she continues, even as her words pull on his conscience. 

“Do you know the ache you wake with every day, knowing you will never hold them like you want to? To accept only fragments of pure happiness, for the rest of your life.” 

Finn tries to walk faster, to lose her in the shadows, but Rey is not easily fooled. She follows on with a dogged determination, matching him step by step. 

Voice a clear, cutting demand as her condemnation rise at his refusal. 

“Do you know what it is to love someone and to be understood by someone so completely, that all the pain you've ever experienced, all the loneliness and isolation you carried around for as long as you remembered, just fades away. Do you?” 

Finn grinds to a halt, shoulders hunching as her words finally hit him. Rey is almost upon him as she strides forward. Surging on with the last of pronouncements tumbling from her lips, shooting straight from her aching heart and into his breast like an arrow.

"Can you understand how that pain feels?” she implores “To know in your heart, that this wonderful thing, this feeling you have waited your whole life to feel, can be ripped away in the blink of an eye.” 

Finn chest seems to be heaving as he listens to her appeal, something in her words striking him hard. Permeating deep into his core as he takes it all in. 

Rey is close at his side as she raises her final, piercing challenge 

“How would you deal with knowing you can only ever have these small little parts of them, that you must be content, _forever_ , to be half the person you know you are with them? Now what would you risk for the chance to have more?" 

"How can you ask me that?” Finn growls lowly, turning suddenly on his heel to face her “How can you think to demand those things from me?” 

"Answer the question Finn" Rey shoots back coldly. 

"No....how can _you_ ask me that question?" Finn repeats, his voice a little louder and more forceful as he regards her sullenly. Searching her eyes for a sign of something only he knows to recognize. 

He is looking for an acknowledgement in her face, a sense of admission of the truth.

But he finds nothing but bewilderment in her eye at his sudden return to belligerence. 

“Because I want you to understand. To know what you are forcing me to forsake” Rey splutters after a moment, confused by her friend’s hunt for something more between the lines of their argument. 

“Oh I understand it, every little bit, all too well” Finn bristles, locking eyes with her as something long buried clambers its way to the surface. 

“I understand _everything_ , because I had been living with that same torment for almost two and a half years Rey. Two and a half long years!” 

“What?” Rey stammers in discomfort, the ugly truth hitting her in the gut even before Finn utters the words that make her blood run cold. Because now she sees it, the obvious fact that had been staring her in the face all these years. 

“I was in love with you once.” he declares dejectedly, biting at his lip between each confession. Searching once more for something he knows he will not find. 

“Why do you think I left Chandrila and set up here on Endor, away from you?” 

Rey starts to panic as her emotions are overwrought by this proclamation. Everything clicking into place. 

Jannah’s perpetual dislike of her, Finn’s exile here and his instant animosity towards Ben even after everything she had shown him, proven to him, how Ben has changed. 

None of it matters. 

Finn is jealous, green with envy of the passion she holds for Ben and had never given to him. 

The thought makes her stomach aches, a roll of nausea creeping its way up her back. 

“I couldn't take it anymore, couldn’t take the knowledge my feelings for you would never be returned...” 

Rey is struck dumb, mind in overdrive as words fail her. 

What about Rose? Poor trusting, loyal Rose. 

This would destroy her. 

“I accepted it and thought, maybe you were just dedicated to the pursuit of this, virtuous, true, Jedi way of life. So much so, that you never seemed consider how I felt about you.” 

He gulps as his eyes growing glassy. Looking off into the moonlit forest and swallowing down the bitter taste of defeat. 

“I believed you were so intent on adhering to the old ways, that love would never be an option for you.” Finn’s face crumples as recognizes his own mistake, reality a harsh fact for him to accept. 

“But now....to know you have been screwing the very man that almost killed me....” that old malice rising up again in Finn's heart, to dull and shatter any small sympathy he may have for the man. 

"It makes me sick."

"Hey! Don’t you dare!" Rey protests, stepping closer as she interrupts his maudlin address with a vexed frown. 

But Finn is having none of it, glaring down at her as he speaks again, tone cruel and exacting. 

"Don’t even try to deny it Rey, I can see it in your eyes and the marks on your neck. That dirty little secret of yours, you reek of it" 

She blushes heavily, feeling his unyielding judgement heavy against her chest. 

“Maker!” Finn exhales loudly, shaking his head again with disgust “ .....I can't be here right now." 

However, Rey is not willing to take this castigation lying down, darting into his path as he tries to flee once more. 

“How dare you?” she hisses dangerous “how dare you speak to me like that!” 

She is in half a mind to send him sprawling into the nearest pine tree for his brutal attack upon her honour. 

“You Finn, need to get over yourself!” she spits, so angry now the very air around her vibrates. The Force dark and threatening as it surrounds them both. 

“So, I never loved you in the way you wanted me to love you. So what? Sometimes life’s not fair.” She roars at him, teeth gritted as she arches up toward his paling face. 

“It doesn’t mean you can say whatever the hell you want to me, it doesn’t mean you get to wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life or refuse me help, because of some misplaced sense of jealousy masked as justice!” 

“ I am not jealous" Finn barks back, knowing it’s a complete lie. 

“Yes. You. Are !” Rey grinds out, ire rising. 

“Because if you can’t have me, then no one can.” 

“It’s not like that” Finn retorts sorely, hands tightening into fists even as he blushes. 

“I am over you”. 

Rey laughs at him sarcastically, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“Then act like it!” 

Finn seethes at the provocation. 

“I am acting like it” he thunders “why else would I _be_ with Rose? Why else would I try to make it work?” 

The words sound all wrong, twisted into falsehoods even as he says them. As though he has graciously accepted the consolation prize of her love in lieu of the treasure he had sought in Rey. 

None of it is true. 

He loves Rose with every fibre of his being, the affection they share is fathomless and without compare. 

But those words he spits at Rey, they sour the truth of his heart until razed into oblivion. 

And unfortunately for him, it is exactly in this moment of distorted reality, that Jannah and Rose finally come into view. 

Having heard everything Finn and Rey had screamed at each other in the last two minutes. 

Every troublesome detail. 

Finn’s face falls as he meets Rose’s deflated, wounded eyes. Knowing she been privy to every little bit of his sordid, hurtful confession. 

His anger and bitterness fall away as his stomach plummets in guilt and rising panic. 

“Rose....I...I didn’t mean...” 

“Oh I know exactly what you meant” she interrupts furiously, leveling him a scowl so hateful, Finn feels as though the very ground beneath his feet has been torn away. 

He has never seen her look at anyone like that. 

“Rose, it’s not...” he stutters, walking forward with a desperate tremble in his voice. 

“No” Rose hisses, forcefully pushing him away with a sudden burst of anger. The shove sending him stumbling back a foot or two as he blinks back at her in dismay. 

“I don’t want to hear it Finn!” 

“Rose please” he begs, doleful eyes starting to mist with contrite tears. 

“Stop!” she roars at him, shoving him again. 

“Just stop”. 

Rey looks between them all in utter helplessness, catching Jannah’s eye as they stand in the midst of this growing storm. 

“Rose, I am so sorry” she offers, her voice filled with shame as she finds her friend’s livid face. Visibly upset she has been the cause of such suffering. 

Rose’s incensed gaze softens as little as she turns to Rey. 

“Don’t be” she urges back, voice catching in her throat as her grief swells “I don’t blame you.” 

Rose seems to collect herself, swallow down the swelling impulse to cry. She instead turns to look at Finn with such disenchantment, he cannot take the agony and regret it makes him feel. 

“You’re not the one who got me _kriffing_ pregnant. Are you?” she mutters irately, as if repulsed by the thought of it. 

It is now Jannah’s turn to look stricken, realizing all at once, she is the last to know. 

Finn winces as her eyes flit to him, the clawing hurt of bitter understanding etched all over her noble face. Knowing by the dimmed light in her eyes, he is facing a fight on three fronts now. 

“Rose is pregnant.....and you didn’t tell me” she mumbles quietly, crushed by the knowledge he had told Rey first. 

“I was going to. I swear Jannah. I was going to tell you tomorrow” Finn answers desperately, hoping she will see the sincerity in his face. 

“Tomorrow” she repeats bitterly “sure”. 

Not believing him one bit. 

All four stand there, motionless in the middle of that dark, muted wood as the silence stretches on. Stewing in the hurt and betrayal they each feel. 

It is Rose that breaks the dam of unuttered resentments, flooding the space between them with the full force of their own afflictions. 

“I am going to bed” she mutters dourly, eyes sharp as they land on Finn. 

“You can sleep in the Padawan quarters tonight”. 

“Rose...” Finn begins pleadingly, mouth snapping shut when Rose levels him a venomous look of warning. 

“Don’t” she whispers gruffly, turning on her heel a moment later and striding her way back to their huts. 

There is a telltale sniff in the distance as her footsteps continue. The heartbroken tears she had held at bay, breaking like waves upon the shore as soon as she is out of sight. 

Finn stares after her retreating figure despondently, his spirit broken by the knowledge, he doesn’t know what to do. 

What he can say to heal this gaping wound. 

He cannot follow her, that much is clear. 

Jannah shakes her head as the shock subsides, her own hurt rising up like a sparking fire. Unable to ignore the sense of betrayal she feels for the secrets he has kept from her. They were bonded like brother and sister, and yet, he chose to tell Rey first. The realization strikes hard like a kick to the gut. 

Without a word she too turns and makes her way back into the gloom. Unable to stand the prospect of looking at Finn, after what he has done to Rose. 

And all at once, Finn and Rey are left alone again in that dark break in the trees. 

There a great deal they need to say still. 

But too much has already been shared, too many foul words have been exchanged in the demand for truth, for them to break the silence once more tonight. 

Finn looks at Rey dejectedly before shaking his head slowly and making his way down a worn path. The trail leading him as far from the route taken by Rose and Jannah as his feet can carry him. 

This time, Rey does not follow him. Knowing she must find her own course back to harmony. 

Standing the midst of that small, moonlit clearing, she comes to terms with all the pain she has inadvertently caused. Blindsided by the weight of it all, that crushing, aching guilt. 

A deep pain flares in depths of her abdomen, twisting her stomach as though she has been gutted from the inside out. 

Maker what has she done? 

Rey stands there, motionless, for the longest time. 

Chest growing tight as a grief fills her. 

Grief for Finn and Rose. 

Grief for the future she will not fulfil with Ben now Finn has refused her plea. 

But then she begins to walk, to force her feet forward and just breathe. 

To focus on each intact of air into her lungs.

Each steady step she takes upon the muted trail.

Yet, soon the repetitiveness of this task it is not enough and then, Rey begins to run. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming soon...smut, fluff and angst.


	14. Supernova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey iron out their frustrations, Finn considers his position and a decision for the future hangs in the balance.
> 
> Warning: Chapter rated M for sexual situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> So this chapter took longer than expected, but is now finished!  
> I really enjoyed writing this one, partly as it contains potentially the smuttiest thing I have ever written (though my smut is generally on the tame side compared to many fics on this site)!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Even if the bloody thing ended up being over 14,000 words long....phew!
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and all the new Kudo's on the last installment. It was a great birthday present for me last week :)
> 
> I can't believe I am almost on 10k hits with this fic!
> 
> I will be taking a short break after this to focus on another project outside of AO3, but will try to have chapter 15 up before the end of next month.....it may be sooner, but I don't want to make you any promises.
> 
> Hope you enjoy part 14 and I will see you all soon.
> 
> As ever, stay safe out there.
> 
> Much love,  
> RedCatRen

* * *

Her eyes start to sting with the bite of unshed tears as Rey runs, wind whipping its way against her face as she moves faster through the eerie night. Thundering steps a cacophony against the still, silence of the sleeping wood.

Rey runs and runs until the hard, dry ground seems to disappear below her. Legs pumping endlessly until the terrain surrounding her becomes a blur.

Her heart gallops in her chest to an irregular beat, urging her on as if the darkness itself is trying to catch her.

She sprints through the trees, leaps across small streams and gullies, to race forth until her lungs burn with the effort it. 

But she keeps going, rushing forward with no plan or sense of direction.

Her only instinct is to keep moving, keep running until she finds a reason to stop.

She thinks of Ben.

The bitter shame she feels for leaving him alone after everything Finn had done to him. Bleeding and in need of her care and comfort.

Ben had  _ needed  _ her, craved her soothing touch and sympathy. 

But she had left him.

Took off in the search of someone who wanted nothing to do with them.

And for what? 

Finn was never going to change his mind no matter what she said. Helping  Kylo Ren was tantamount to treason in his mind.

It had been a fool's errand, but she had willed herself to try. To appeal to Finns better nature.

What a mistake it had been.

She cannot face Ben empty handed, not now.

She cannot let him see her abject failure.

But it seems, fate has other plans for her that night.

Racing out into a light speckled clearing, Rey grinds to a halt.

Finding Ben quite unexpectedly in the depths of this lush terrain.

Waiting.

* * *

His bare, pale form is resplendent in the warmth of the twin moons, their light basking him in a silvery glow as he watches her by the rush of a shimmering waterfall.

Ben’s broad body is half submerged in a small pool by the cascading water, soaking himself in the chill and surging power of the falls. The battering water against his skin, is a cold soothing balm to cure his aching wounds from the fight.

Rey exhales loudly as her gaze focus on him, her chest rising up and down in rapid bursts from her mad dash through the forest. Her stuttering breath is loud and ragged in her ears as she fights to pull the crisp night air into her lungs. 

Ben’s presence adding a pleasant buzz in her head as the endorphins fuel a new high.

“Ben” she eventually mumbles in surprise, relieved and comforted by his dark presence after the chaos of her night. 

But his does not immediately share her warmth as he looks back at her. A disconnect found there that hadn’t been before. 

Ben eyes are fiery, yet guarded, as he stares up at her from the water. Filled with a burning rage that simmers just behind the chocolate brown. 

He is aggrieved by her desertion of him in the cabin.

Disgruntled she had left him alone to tend to his wounds and recover from the blows that had wracked his body.

Rey falters as she sees his standoffish glare, but she cannot blame him for his apathy towards her.

If the situations were reversed, she would be similarly incensed.

“Are you okay?” she calls to him softly, having no better course of action at her disposal than to try push past the awkwardness between them.

Ben does not reply but does at least gift her a small tense nod as his jaw twitches.

Irritation at her still very much present, but not beyond the possibilities of prompt reconciliation this beautiful night.

For though he will not welcome her presence here yet, he will not turn her away either.

Grudgingly relieved to have her back in his orbit, standing upon the bank of the small river and looking so devastatingly beautiful even in her confusion and anguish. Rey is here, contrite as can be and gazing at him like her entire universe rests in his hands.

Ben cannot sustain his discontent when faced with such devotion. He would defy anyone to remain unaffected by that beguiling set of hazel eyes and smile as radiant as sunlight.

He is like putty in her hands.

Rey breathes easier as Ben’s face relaxes, fury melting away as his gaze shifts.

Something altogether more hungry and wanton flashing in those dark, depthless eyes.

Gaze dipping to run the course of her body in slow, steady beats. His eyes meeting hers again as something wild is passed between their gazes.

No words need to be exchanged; Rey already knows what he wants. What he  _ needs _ from her.

And she is more than willing to oblige.

There will be plenty of time later to discuss things that need to discuss.

Right now, they both long for a diversion and break from reality.

Stripping down to her underthings, Rey stands barefoot by the bank. Pausing by the edge of the water as if waiting for permission to join him.

Ben cocks his head to the side, leaning back into the spray of the waterfall with a pensive look as he regards her. Exhaling loudly as if in resignation, he nods once more. Watching impassively as Rey instantly wades into the freezing pool with a hiss. 

Shivering at the bitter temperature, she silently makes her way towards to him, her eyes never leaving his enraptured, brooding stare. 

The cold bites sharply at her extremities as she pushes her body onwards, frigid water numbing her toes and fingers as she steps deeper into the pool. Her body is quickly submerged to her hips as the bottom seems to drop out below her. The chill of the water is infinitely more unpleasant than the lake on  Naboo , and yet the raw, glacial bitterness does not stop her reaching him.

Pausing by the roar of the waterfall, she studies him carefully. Staring up at him under the glittering rush of the water. 

Her eyes soften as she takes in the discolored, bruised flesh across his cheek and mottled mass of contusions that continue down his shoulders to wind across his chest. Her heart aches at the sight of the raw, angry gash that mars his forehead and the swollen wounds on his lips. The blood from each abrasion has been washed away, but the signs of ruin remain.

Rey finds as she stares up at Ben, though his handsome face has been tarnished by the violent blows of anger, he continues to stand sublime in the moonlight.

Beaten but unbowed.

Reaching up to his face slowly, she run her fingers tentatively over the damaged skin. Wishing she could call on the Force to knit and wipe each blemish from his features. But alas, it would be a wasted effort.

He is not of this world and therefore afforded the same respite her hands can supply. Not until she can find a solution.

Ben grunts in discomfort at her ministrations, but never stops the movement of her hands or severs the connection of their eyes. Staring down her with an intensity that sets her skin on fire, a heat rising within despite the arctic conditions of the small plunge pool.

“I’m sorry I left you” she whispers remorsefully, the apology sincere as it rolls off her tongue and reaches his ears.

“I had to make him understand Ben, I had to go after him”.

He does not respond with words, but the softening of his eyes and the warmth that grows there, tells her Ben has forgiven her without condition.

Rey’s expression lightens when she sees the change in his boring stare, humming to herself as she gently continues her exploration of his face.

Ben is shivering now with pleasure under the  featherlight touch of her fingertips against his skin.

Sending throbs of want straight down his abdomen and into his groin.

How is a man to resist such attentions?

Catching her at the waist, Ben pulls her closer to his chest. Delighting in the way her nipples stiffen against his skin as the thin fabric of her breast band is soaked by the falls. Rey yelps as she is soused by the deluge of water running down her head and back. Shuddering violently at the abrupt change in temperature as much as the hot press of Ben’s body on hers. His skin almost volcanic in comparison to the constant flow of ice that runs above and between them.

The close heat of him is blissful, proximity bringing a new flush of feverish anticipation across her cheeks.

Her breath quickens as Ben’s fingers kneads the bare skin at the small of her back, his warm, searching hands roaming lower to trace the swell of her ass.

There is something possessive in the way he looks at her now, lust filled and brimming with sinful purpose.

Another lick of heat rolls up her body as she arches into his touch, lips parting with a soft sigh of excitement. 

That fury of battle still flickers in their bloodstreams, finding new purpose within them as its frantic energy fuels a very different fire.

Their surplus anger twisting into hunger, as they draw each other in.

Rey’s eager hands run slowly down Ben’s chest as her interest rises, palms brushing over the hard peaks of his nipples as he quakes in reply. A slow smirk starting to replace the blank set of his mouth when his eagerness gets the better of him. 

He chuckles as she does it again, head leaning closer as he drinks her in. 

Memorizing every dark freckle dusting her pretty nose.

The plump welcoming, softness of her lips, and the way her eyes seem to reflect the shimmering splendor of the water.

Maker she is a vision.

Ben’s mouth hovers above hers in rapid, hot breathes as he starts to grin wolfishly. His grip tightening on the arch of her back as he presses her closer, their hips now flush as Rey steps between his legs.

Brushing the length of her body against him and tempting Ben closer.

Rey’s own lips start to turn up in an alluring smile as the moment stretches, aching to kiss him now as the tension builds.

Ben is similarly entranced, panting with anticipation as his cock starts to thicken in the tight space between them. The strength of his growing desire for her, defying even the bone chilling water around them and the dull, persistent throb of his bruised body. 

He doesn’t care, thoughts already drifting to the prospect of taking her there and then.

Rey’s eyes widen as she snorts in amazement, Ben’s hardening cock now starting to strain against her hip in earnest.

“Maker above Ben, you really are insatiable”.

Ben’s jaw twitches before the cocky smirk deepens on his cheeks.

“You love it really” he replies in a low, flirtatious growl.

“Trouble is...” Rey sighs audibly, hands trailing their way up his chest again to wrap around his neck.

“I really do”.

Ben barely has time to gloat before she is pushing up in his mouth, lips catching his as he groans in reply.

Their bodies catching alight as all the pent-up aggression swiftly turns into passion.

Ben has Rey up off her feet and her legs wrapped around his middle, before her tongue has even slipped past his lips.

Another deep and toe-curling groan falling from his mouth as she lures him in, coaxing him farther and farther away from the pain of reality. Her kiss intoxicating and invigorating all at once and he is lost in her touch.

Spellbound by the vitality she possesses and lays at his feet. Offering him salvation, a shelter from the dark of this world as her adulation fulfils that spit of hope within him.

Ben knows he may possess her for this small blissful moment, but she will possess his entire universe for all eternity.

His body aches to have her again, to know what it is to feel complete and whole for just one fleeting glimpse.

Rey’s moans in reply show him she is just as overwhelmed as he, wrecking his mouth with her eager tongue as he begins to thrust against her. Her breast band is flung to the dark depths of the pool as she seeks the heat of his broad, strong chest upon her skin.

Things are moving so fast; he cannot dream of suggesting taking the long trek back to her cabin to consummate this moment of recklessness. He needs her now.

Her small cabin bunk can wait, for he will gleefully take her there too if she’ll let him.

But right now, there is another place he knows to fulfill the objective they need.

Rey parts from Ben’s plush mouth with an audible gasp as he walks them through the wall of water to a small, intimate cave behind the thundering falls. Eyes gleaming as she takes in the shimmering white  stone that reflect the twin moons luminance through the waterfall. Motes of light dapple the cave like stars in the night sky, twinkling spots of pure white against the inky black.

Behind her, the rush of water stands like a solid wall of liquid glass. Reflecting her shadowed image back at her like a mirror.

It is mesmerizing. 

Ben huffs a little at her distraction, the distance of their mouths the sweetest of frustrations. But he withholds his complaints and patiently waits for her attention. Content to watch her face light with wide-eyed fascination and wonder, thrilled by the simple beauty that surrounds them.

It is hard not to be affected by it, the way her smile deepens in elation at natural marvel she has witnessed.

It is infectious. 

And when Rey does return his gaze, Ben is rewarded with such a look of awe and exhilaration on her beautiful face, it is worth the pause almost ten times over.

Her beaming smile so broad and blissfully  _ happy,  _ his heart skips noisily with the brilliance of it.

Ben looks back at her with that same shy, soft smile of his, that expression of affection only she is permitted to see. Saying everything he needs to say in that one look, as his eyes burn only for her. 

Rey reaches cups his cheek, tracing the line of his wounded lip with her thumb, before leaning in to kiss him so sweetly, it shakes him to his core.

He holds her closer and meets her halfway, sighing into her mouth as he starts to deepen the embrace.

Rey feels him begin to move again, taking them deeper into cave as the water starts to fade from their bodies. Each step he takes, pulls them more and more from the frigid pool. The relief it brings an added bliss.

Ben carries her further and further away from the silvery rush of the falls, to rise onto the white rocky shore with a grunt. The air almost thicker here as the move from the freshness of the water.

Ben shifts her higher upon his hips as he walks, groaning as her nipples drag upon his chest.

Coupled by the heat of her mouth, her supple body on his is making it hard for him to concentrate, steps slow and careful as he leads them through the speckled dark.

Rey jolts in surprise when he stops and her back meets the soft brush of a small grassy hill, Ben gently lowering her into the dry sod as he covers her body with his own. The heat from his skin warming her core and big body sheltering her from the worst of the nights chill.

He kisses her deeper, tongue battling hers for dominance as she wraps her body around his.

Ankles hooking behind his back as she drags his hips closer. Relishing the sensation of him bearing down upon her, covering every inch of bare skin.

Ben groans as he parts from her lips, staring down at her with an enraptured expression.

Cataloguing the flush that has spread across her cheeks and down the swell of her chest, that panting, rapid rise of her breasts against his skin. 

He studies how her pupils dilate and shift drunkenly as she looks up at him.

Smirking coyly as he takes stock of the state of arousal, he has drawn from her.

The frown and grunt of impatience the absence of his kiss elicits from her, stokes his ego further.

“What?” Rey pouts petulantly, a huff of irritation gushing from her mouth as Ben bites back a grin.

“Nothing” he murmurs back, leaning back down to melt her frown with a slow, sensual kiss.

“Absolutely nothing”.

The flick of his tongue on hers, drags a low, purr of satisfaction from deep within her chest. Irritation instantly forgotten as they fall back into rhythm.

Those panting, searching kisses like wildfire. Setting the world ablaze around them.

It is not long before Ben’s mouth trails from her lips to press hot and insistent down her neck as the moment stretches on. His hand trailing down her chest to play upon the edge of her breast. Teasing her as his fingers run along the underside of the sensitive swell.

Rey squirms in reply, nails raking down his back as she arches up into his touch. 

Her eyes flying open as the sensations overwhelm her. 

She seeks something to quell the sudden crescendo that threatens to finish her.

Gaze finding anything to distract from this merciless loss of control.

For a moment, she gains distance.

Observing, high above them is a network of tiny fissures in the cavernous roof of the cave. A collection of small the gaps that flitter more light into the vaulted space around them, the telltale sound of trickling of water spilling through. Nourishing the isolated meadow, they writhe upon.

Rey stares up at the pinpricks in the roof, those hidden clefts of light that remind her so much of the stars at night, trying but ultimately failing to distract herself from the building, throbbing need that pounds from her core. 

It is of no use.

For as determined as she is to draw out the sensation of Ben body, hot and wanting above her.

To savor the tension and pleasure she finds in the anticipation of what is to come, there is no denying the truth.

She had been lost to it as soon as it begun.

Ben’s hands are drifting over her breasts in earnest now, running his palm against the stiff peaks of her nipples as her breath comes out in harsh, stuttering puffs. Making it impossible for her to do anything but surrender herself to the aching pleasure of it.

His lips upon the delicate skin of her neck sends a shiver rolling down her back. Goosebumps erupting as his teeth ghost over the tender flesh, following each indecent nip with a caress of his tongue.

Rey moans as he travels downward, peppering the flushed skin of her chest with feather light kisses before pulling the satin peak of her breast into his mouth.

Laving it with attention as his tongue swirls the peak, repeating the action as he moves to worship her other tip. 

Rey’s  centre twitches in response as a heavy desire pounds up into her abdomen, wetness forming between her thighs. 

Ben licks again at her nipples as she whines in reply, gripping his damp hair between her fingers. 

Urging him closer. Each flick of his tongue and the gentle brush of his teeth against the buds, sending flutters of desire directly to the apex of her thighs. 

The part of her that yearns, and  _ demands,  _ more than the building friction of their hips.

Her mouth seeks his as she pulls Ben’s attention from her chest, lips a sweet bounty for his efforts.

He responds eagerly, fingers trailing up her side to cup her jaw and tilt her face towards him better.

Thumb caressing her cheek as he devours each moan she offers.

Ben's cock is now stiff against her hip, the material of his sodden shorts doing nothing to hide the delicious heat radiating from its length. Each groan from Rey makes him harder, impulse causing him grinding down upon her core as he whimpers in growing desperation.

It is an anguish Rey is more than happy to alleviate, impatience a sharp tool for her growing thirst.

Reaching down into the tight, torrid space between their twisting bodies, she clutches at the solid weight of him. Feeling his pulse jump through the damp cotton, his labored breathing stuttering against her lips. Ben groans deeply, thrusting artlessly against the warmth of her palm as she slides her hand up and down almost painfully slow. Teasing a guttural and pained whimper from his tensing jaw.

Ben pulls back to look at her with hooded eyes as his mouth falls open in anticipation. Desperate for any attention she is willing to give. Rey traces the considerable impression of his rigid length through the cotton once more.

Gazing in fascination as Ben’s pupils dilate in desire. 

Her hand soon slips under the waistband of his shorts, pulling his rigid cock out of the cloth, as a second hand comes to yank the rest of the material down over his ass.

Ben is swift to oblige the action. Shifting quickly onto his side to aid the removal of his shorts as Rey’s small hand stays upon his manhood. Gently moving up and down the expanse of him in steady, teasing strokes.

Keen to watch him come apart beside her, a dark, devilish glint in her eyes. Ben, completely at her mercy.

He bites at his lip as the urge to pitch his groin up into her hands, proves too strong an impulse to ignore.

He will not last long at this rate.

Rolling back on top of her with a growl, Ben seeks the same torment for her. 

But he does not stop her taunting caresses, taking too pleasure in it to halt the action of that lovely hand of hers.

Ben instead trails his fingers down her body, tracing the seam of her lips through the thin, soaked material of her pants. Making Rey shudder as he runs his finger up and down the juncture of her core. Her hand stilling on his cock as she gazes up at him with wide, startled eyes, a soft exhale leaving her mouth as a pressure grows.

Ben smirks as his hand slips past the ruined fabric and rolls his finger through her folds, circling back to the growing nub at the top of her, as Rey groans loudly in reply. 

She buries her face in the mass of his shoulder as Ben repeats the exercise a second and third time, fingers stroking more and more directly upon her.

He tears the fabric apart, tossing the ruined cotton away as he opens her up more. Fingers slow and steady against her quivering lips.

Rey starts to stroke Ben’s cock again in earnest as his fingers slide through the sublime wet, heat of her. Moving gently past those last defenses, to caress deep inside the very heart of her. 

He curls his finger into that mass of nerves, to press upon the place that makes Rey cry out against his skin. 

Teeth grazing the muscle as she stops herself from biting down.

Cupping her mound, Ben stimulates the insisting knot of her as he moves in and out her center. His own composure shot to pieces as Rey picks up speed, twisting her hands in time to his explorations.

They are both quickly approaching a precipice, that tension coiling tighter and tighter within them.

Their lips meet again in short, halting kisses. Panting hard against the others mouth as they draw closer and closer to that premature finish.

It will not do.

Ben acts first, tearing Rey from his aching erection and pining her hand above her head. His own fingers leaving Rey’s core as he holds her hips down. Earning him a grunt of displeasure from his bed mate at the disruption.

Her body arches up into his, seeking that delicious friction again. The movement causes Ben to hiss as the length of him slips through her sodden folds. The soft warmth of it a toe-curling pleasure.

Ben is unable to stop himself from angling their hips to repeat the movement again, growling at the sensation of his head dragging along her quim.

It is heaven.

He thinks about burying his face between her thighs, of tasting that sweet musk and making her come against his mouth. He thinks about having the scent of her on his lips as he makes her come again, this time on his aching cock. What a delicious a prospect it seems. 

Rey had complained about his beard before, how it tickled every time they kissed. But tonight, his dark, patch of facial hair seems almost inconsequential to her. Perhaps she would welcome the friction against her thighs, if he were to dare the sordid effort.

But Rey has other ideas it seems.

Tired of his teasing, and desperate to quell the storm of rising desire inside her, Rey turns them both. Straddling him as she gleefully pushes Ben back into the soft grass with a grunt. Her hands run down his broad chest as she admires the rippling motion his muscles make as they move below the skin. 

His ribcage jumping as he gulps in anticipation.

Dragging her gaze back up to his face, she lets her hand drift down past Ben’s stomach. Eyes boring into his as he gasps softly at her fingers wrapping around his cock again. Stroking him twice, before raising her hips to line him up with her  centre .

They both exhale in tandem as he enters her, Rey slowly easing herself down his hard length with a long sigh. Even now after the many times they have engaged in this indecent act, the size of him takes her by surprise. No longer painful, but so tight it makes her eyes roll back a little in her head.

The immediate feeling of fullness he gives her, appeals to the very baseness of her nature and pulls a low groan from her lips.

Ben grips at her sides as she sets a languid pace, feeling her adjust to the angle and depth of him. She thrusts up and down his cock as that taut pressure builds again between them, ripples of pleasure rolling up her spine as Ben starts to move within her. 

His hips snap up against hers as their pace increases. The head of him nudging deeper within her with each eager plunge, striking something new and undiscovered with each drag against her walls.

It is bliss.

Ben’s eager hands slip to the cheeks of her ass as they start to rut in earnest against one another. Dragging her closer and closer to him with each new push inside.

Lifting her higher to crash back together with zealous power.

Rey is soon clutching at Ben’s shoulders, urging his panting mouth up towards her lips as the frenzy continues. 

She kisses him hungrily as he sits up, resting her hands around neck as her core pitches faster and faster upon his lap. Ben’s grip on her ass tightens in reply as he begins to fuck up into her harder.

Possessive in his embrace and eager to slake his hunger.

Rey whimpers against his lips, going limp as she lets Ben take over.

That telltale quaking between her legs telling her how close she is to peaking.

But then, Ben suddenly stops. Hips slowing as the pleasure ebbs to a low burn.

Rey opens her eyes, face darkening in frustration. Utterly livid he has stolen her gluttonous release.

But before she can demand he just make her come already, Ben leans forward and whispers huskily in her ear.

“Turn around, trust me”.

She blinks back at him in surprise, her arousal flushed face frowning at the suggestion.

But she does as she is told, too desperate to finish to question his instruction. She slips off him and moves on shaking legs to rest her back against his chest. 

Seeing all at once why he has positioned her here. 

Ben widens her legs as he slides his cock back into her waiting  centre , smiling at his own reflection across the cave. 

Rey gasps at the intrusion as much as the experience of seeing herself penetrated. Watching as Ben’s length moves in and out of her slowly.

The moonlit waterfall is at a perfect angle to mirror their actions back at them with unerring clarity. The debauched image of them locked together  a devious assault on Rey’s senses.

“Now you see” Ben murmurs against her ear, one hand snaking down to cup at her breasts, while the other moves to rub lazy circles between the apex of her thighs. Enjoying the sight of his hands on her body, claiming possession over her just for these salacious, fiery moments.

His eyes are like two smoldering coals as they stare back at her, arrested by the vision of the them  intertwined .

“Yes. I see” Rey whimpers back after a long moment, enraptured by his blazing gaze and the sight of him taking utter control of her.

She is overcome by the sordid image of her visibly growing pleasure, heightening the sensations Ben is drawing from deep within her. 

His cock starts to move faster now as he resumes their pace of before.

Rey lets out a deep, guttural groans when he hits that spot within her again, that makes her weak.

Eyes screwing closed with the intensity of it all.

“No....” Ben orders firmly, catching her chin in his hand and dragging her gaze up to his red-hot one in the mirror.

“I want you to watch Rey”.

His voice is growing strained as he fights to delay his own release, breathing erratic against her back.

Rey nods at him, conceding to his request as his hand releases her face. Snaking down to play upon her clit once more.

She shudders and does as he asks, turning to face her reflection as Ben drives up harder into her  centre .

Her arm arches back, wrapping around Ben’s neck as she leans back into his chest.

Listening to the panting, whimpering sounds falling from her paramour's lips and relishing the knowledge that he is as affected by the image as she is. 

It is the most arousing thing she has ever experienced.

Seeing her lips parted by his cock, flushed red with desire.

It makes something tighten within her, intensifying that mounting pressure forming at the base of her spine. Flooding down into her core and spreading like a wildfire.

It will not be long before Ben pushes her over the edge.

“I want you to see what I see” Ben rasps behind her, release imminent.

“I want you to watch yourself come undone, so you'll know, you’ll understand how beautiful it is”

The fire within her breaks, erupting through every nerve in her body as she comes.

Her release is a silent lament, mouth falling open as her whole world whites out in pleasure.

Ben grunts heavily as he thrusts another two to three more times, shuddering as he lets go and falls against her shoulder. Utterly spent.

Raising his head, he stares at Rey’s reflection. Watching as her glazed expression clears and a lazy smile shines back at him as they lock eyes. 

Her face flushes bashfully at him, feeling suddenly self-conscious for what they have just done. 

It is wicked and a complete desecration of this once pure place. 

Rey knows it is perversion of the highest  order, to observe yourself in the throes of passion like that. 

But she doesn’t regret it, not in the slightest. A certain thrill is found in acceptance that she has sincerely enjoyed it.

Her smile broadens into a coy grin as she slips from Ben's softening cock and turns in his arms. Blushing brightly as she comes to face him.

“Well that was different” Rey giggles, giving him a bold but bewildered look.

Ben smirks back at her, leaning forward to kiss her sweetly.

“That was perfect” he replies utterly unperturbed, eyes gentle as he pulls her into his chest and rest his cheek against the crown of her head.

“Just perfect"

* * *

By the time Ben and Rey leave that little cave of theirs, a bank of clouds has shifted across the nocturnal sky to shroud all celestial bodies in sight. Plunging the landscape into a relative blackness so dark they cannot see anything but featureless shadows as they walk back through the forest.

But it matters not one wit as they walk hand in hand, laughing together as they make their way back to her cabin.

There is an easy, playful atmosphere between them as they steal furtive, sweet looks at one another. Shared smiles flashing as they are caught gawking. 

Ben’s contented and mellow mood seems totally at odds with the utter belligerence and merciless aggression he had displayed against Finn. However, given the energy and abject fervor they had burned off in that den of wantonness, Rey supposes it’s of no real surprise. 

She smiles again to herself at the memory of that sordid fumble.

Her cheeks growing hot as she reminisces.

“You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you? “Ben smirks knowingly as he spots her telltale glow, pulling her into his side as she tries to squirm away.

“I am not" Rey protests, sulking at him as he grins back.

“Are too?” Ben teases, tilting her chin up to drop a kiss to her pouting lips.

She relents and kiss him back reluctantly with sigh of defeat.

“I know I am" he confesses with a heated look, winking at her as they part.

“That’s because you have a one-track mind" Rey scoffs, pushing him away and striding ahead with a weary sigh.

“ Kinda hard not to, when you walk around looking like that" he grins again, following her like an eager puppy through the gloom. Rey scoffs again, rolling her eyes at him even as a half-smile breaks through at his honeyed words.

“Truthfully ...it’s hard to do anything much around you” Ben adds with a teasing lilt.

Rey stops and looks back at him with an amused expression.

“I can’t say the same about you” she shoots back “you’re utterly forgettable”.

Ben's eyebrows rise up at the jab, a look of feigned hurt falling across his features.

“You have wounded me deep woman. How will I ever recover?”

“I don’t know, but maybe I’ll find a way to make it up to you tomorrow” Rey retorts cheekily, turning on her heel to lead them back through the trees. Ben laughs quietly as he quickly follows, letting the jesting promise hang in the air.

He says nothing further, content just to watch her lovely form moving through the dark forest in silence. Each motion of her lithe body as graceful and fluid as water.

It is little mystery to him now, how she is such an adept warrior. Even in this distorting, disabling darkness, each step she takes is like a careful dance. Not a toe out of line, each shifting movement a feat of superhuman coordination.

Ben on the other hand is like a newborn colt as they walk through the dark, long legs unsteady in the unfamiliar terrain.

How she ran through here, at speed, would have seemed utterly implausible had he not seen her do it himself.

Ben smiles unconsciously as he ruminates further over her departing figure, admiring the way long her hair falls over her bare, sun kissed shoulders. 

Rey hadn’t bothered to tie it back up after it had come undone by the waterfall, her chestnut locks now falling in soft waves down her back.

It is an attractive look on her he has not seen often, softening her already delicate features as the dark waves frame her face. 

“I like your hair like that” Ben muses aloud as he trudges falteringly behind her.

“it suits you”.

Rey slows to a stop and gives him another, almost demure smile. Not used to all this adulation.

But there is a time and a place for such sweet talk, and right now, she is not quite in the mood for such wheedling.

“Come on Solo, enough attempts at charm and flattery. I’m tired” Rey sighs heavily, reaching out to catch his hand in hers and drag him firmly after her. 

Ben chuckles at her bluntness, walking faster as he lets her pull him forcefully through the woods.

Finally taking the hint, and shutting up for the moment,

A companionable silence falls between them as they draw closer to the edge of the thicket, the lights of the village starting to come into view. 

Above them the rope bridges and cozy cabins are a welcome sight to their fatigued bodies.

It is late, well past midnight at this stage, and they eager for sleep now.

Their steps heavy and weary leaden.

“You know” Rey begins with a slight yawn, breaking the hush around them as her memory is stoked by something in near distance.

“Your mother once told me ....after a shot or three of  Corellian whiskey I may admit....she always suspected you were conceived here on  Endor ”.

Ben’s immediate look of disgust makes her explode with laughter as he shivers in horror.

“Wow, that is a horrifying,  _ horrifying  _ thought!” he mutters in shock, dismay written all over his face as he gapes at Rey. Her laughter escalates as Ben shivers again, shaking his head at her.

“You know, you have just destroyed every fond childhood memory I ever had of this place” he huffs sullen, smirking despite himself as Rey continues to snigger. 

Oddly charmed by her delight at his utter revulsion to the mere suggestion of his parent’s sex life.

It is  maddeningly endearing.

“ Oh come on, at least it wasn’t the Falcon” she hiccups back, trying to calm her giggles.

“ Aggghhh stop it” Ben exclaims, laughing even as he glowers at her.

“It’s not funny!”

Rey is beaming at him as she snorts again, biting her lip to stop her hysterics escalating.

“Rey! It’s not funny!” Ben grumbles again, giving her look of warning.

“Your mother certainly thought it was! She even told me, the day you were born, you arrived hairy as a  Wokling . Squeaked like one too” Rey grins, loving the exasperation on his face at her teasing.

But then he features start to change, a poignancy to his expression that dissolves any lingering signs of mirth on his face. And all at once, all her gentle ribbing starts to seem almost tawdry.

Rey knows Ben is thinking about her. His mother.

She feels a rush of empathy for him as his face fills with regret.

“You spoke about me?” he asks after a long pause, not looking at her as he speaks quietly.

Rey squeezes his hand, prompting them both to stop.

“We still speak about you Ben, every chance we get” she replies solemnly “she always asks about you.”

Ben can’t seem to look at her right now, eyes set on the dusty, dry mud below as his mind turns.

“Yeah, that’s good I guess” he mumbles back, his voice thick with unexpressed grief.

“Is there anything you want me to say to her, or ask next time I see her” Rey offers gently, trying to catch Ben’s wandering gaze.

“I....” he stutters.

He gulps as he raises his eyes towards Rey, an agonizing uncertainty in his face. Unable to put into words all the little, but no less important, things he wants to say.

Ben gulps again before shaking his head.

“No....no it’s okay. But.... thank you ....for the offer”

Rey takes both his hands in hers, raising them to her lips as she kisses at his knuckles.

“If you’re sure?”

Ben nods heavily, expression troubled even as he refuses her help.

“Yeah....I’m sure”.

Rey studies him closely, knowing he is desperate to find the strength to say what he needs to. 

But the words fail him.

He is still not ready, not brave enough to face his feelings just yet.

“Okay...well...when you ar....” Rey trails off, her whole posture stiffening as a loud noise interrupts their stoppage at the edge of the forest. Her eyes widen rapidly as she catches sight of Finn coming through the opposite side of the clearing. Panic setting in as he quickly approaches their position.

Acting on instinct, Rey pushes Ben down into the thick brush. Crouching down beside him as she clamps a hand over his mouth to muffle his predictable curse when his ass collides with a rogue branch or two.

Finn is too distracted by his own thoughts to notice them or the loud crack Ben’s big body makes through the glade as Rey forces him into the bushes. Believing it to be a spooked nightfox and nothing more.

The young Jedi master walks passed them none the wiser, sighing heavily to himself as moving towards the lowly lit cabins.

His footsteps up the twisting staircase a dull thud in the quiet clearing.

Rey breathes out in relief as he is soon out of sight. 

Ben gazes up at her suspiciously, dark eyes wary as she releases her grip on his mouth and stands up

“Was that really necessary?” Ben comments drolly, rubbing at his smarting ass as Rey helps him back to his feet. She bats at his shirt, trying to shake some of the debris from the forest floor away from Ben’s back.

“He sincerely didn’t look in any state to start another fight” he adds with sigh as he joins in with her efforts, leaning down to brush his legs free from dust.

“Neither do you” Rey argues back, looking pointedly up at his bruised face as she attempts to swat him free of dirt again.

“And yet I am in no doubt, you would have no issue brawling like an idiot again should the chance arise.”

Ben smirks at her, biting back the snort that rises at her indignation.

“I suppose not”.

Given the stormy look on her face, Ben wagers there is more to her avoidance of Finn than just his fiery temper.

A frustration in her eyes that reveals a much bigger problem at play.

“I take it, your conversation earlier didn’t go too well” Ben sighs unhappily.

Rey’s jaw tightens as she nods in reply, hands stilling as she straightens up.

“No, it did not. In fact, I don’t think it could have gone any worse.”

“Well it could have" Ben muses, gesturing to his face “at least no one threw a punch this time"

Rey cracks a smile at his ridiculous attempt at levity.

“No, I guess not".

“Then I think that’s a win, in of itself" Ben says dryly, patting himself down. The last of the dry earth and leaves falling from his clothes.

Rey shrugs, that sliver of smile fading as her face becomes glum.

“I don’t think anybody won tonight” she murmurs dourly, eyes dropping as she kicks at a displaced weed. The desiccated shrub disintegrating in one punt.

Ben’s smirk slowly shifts as he watches her scowl at the ground, jaw tensing as a frown forms at Rey’s dejection.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks gently, tipping her chin up to meet his concerned stare. She holds his gaze for a moment, contemplating the offer before shaking her head and moving away from him.

“No. Right now, all I want is to sleep and forget about this  kriffing mess for a while" she mutters sourly, turning back toward the camp with a heavy heart.

Rey begins to walk back out into the break in the tree line, pausing as she realizes Ben isn’t following her. Footsteps noticeably absent.

“Ben?’

He is not there when she looks back over her shoulder in confusion. 

Lost once more to that dark place so very far from her.

That same dark barren place she will soon venture to guide him home.

_ Alone _ .

“Later, we will talk later  Cyar’ika " Rey whispers with a sudden resolve. 

Those words only the listless wind can answer, but knowing out there somewhere,  _ somehow _ , Ben will hear her. 

* * *

Finn’s body aches all over as he approaches the dorms, his wounds from the fight and general fatigue taking its toll. Everything hurts.

Making those last few steps up the winding staircase, his gaze rests  reflectively on his own cabin.

Finn pauses by the door, hand hovering over the handle, before thinking the better of going inside.

There is no doubt Rose is still livid at him for what he said, and he has been walloped in the face enough times today not chance her wrath.

He turns and plods his way in the direction of other shelter for the night.

There is a weak blue light glowing from window of the  padawan’s cabin as he approaches it. One of the boys clearly still up despite their early promises. Sighing heavily, Finn dreads the immediate suspicion it is his ever-bold charge that is still awake. Flagrantly paying no mind to his Master’s instruction as per usual.

This is the last thing he needs after the night he’s had.

But as predicted, it’s Mika’s little face Finn finds basked in the blue light of Rey’s  holoprojector as he steps into the room. The same damn projector he had told Mika to turn off hours ago. 

Finn realizes he must have dropped it by his bed when he’d left to confront Rey.

“Mika, what are you doing” he sighs wearily, face a stern mask as his  padawan jumps in fright, little face screwing up in an alarmed, but thankfully soundless yelp.

“Master Finn, you scared me” he whimpers back, big blue eyes wide with shock.

“Mika...it’s the middle of the night, what are you still doing on the  holonet ?” Finn scolds him quietly, conscious not to wake the sleeping  Tuda a few beds down.

“Why aren’t asleep like I asked?” 

The little boy looks back at his master with a guilty blush, shifting in his bed awkwardly.

“Mika, I’m waiting” Finn says crossly, hands perched on his hips as he tries to avoid tapping his foot against the hardwood floor in aggravation.

Mika gulps, eyes shifting around the room as he avoids Finn’s disapproving scowl.

“I wanted to learn the words to the  _ Happy Little Miner  _ for Miss Tico. To sing it for her” he replies quietly, lip quivering in anticipation of the severe punishment he is sure to receive. The sanction no doubt even more severe than before. 

He had broken the rules yet again. 

However, Finn’s thunderous frown eases as he looks at the abashed child with genuine surprise. Taken aback by his answer.

The Happy Little Miner had been children’s song in Hay’s Minor when Rose and Paige were little girl’s, a joyous little rhyme they had sung at play in days before the First Order.

Before their system had become the proverbial whipping boy of the Orders imperial aspiration.

Then as they got older, the sisters had used the song to remember, to keep the memory of their family alive when all had been lost on Hays Minor.

Rose had sung it for Finn a few times, after she’d had a drink or two. Raising her voice and a glass to Paige on the nights she missed her most.

The song was sacred to her.

“The  _ Happy Little Miner _ ? Why did you want to sing it for Miss Tico?” Finn asks him curiously, tone a little gentler as he turns the  holo towards him. Sure enough, the words of the ditty are there in front of him in plain basic script.

“I heard her crying Master, that’s why I woke up. She just sounded so sad and I...just wanted to help her feel happy again” the little boy answers earnestly, watching as his master's expression softens further.

Finn feels a lump form in his throat as he looks down at his  padawan . A renewed feeling of regret washing over him, particularly now faced by his student’s innocent and compassionate gesture.

“I am sure Miss Tico would love you to sing it for her Mika” he answers quietly “That is a very nice thing to do”.

Mika’s little eyebrows rise in surprise as he realizes his master's ire is nowhere to be found. Fading like snowfall in the Summer.

“You’re not mad?” he asks with awestruck expression. Finn sighs loudly in reply and sits down careful at the edge of the  Togruta’s bed with a shake of his head.

“No, I am not mad”

  
“So...” the young boy begins with trepidation “am I still in trouble?”

Finn looks at him thoughtfully, weighing up the matter in his head.

He shakes his head once more, patting the child on the shoulder.

“No Mika, you’re not in trouble”.

“Really?” Mika exclaims in disbelief, covering his mouth with his hand  sheepishly when  Tuda stirs and groans in the other bed from the sudden noise.

“Sorry” he whispers with diffidence and Finn smiles at him. Patting him on the head as he holds back a chuckle.

Mika continues to look up at him in confusion, little face twisting as his mind turns over the details.

“Master” he begins hesitantly “not that I’m complaining, but why am I not in trouble?”

Finn sighs again before answering him carefully.

“Because....sometimes we all have to do  the things we’re told we shouldn’t, to do something we know is right”.

The young  Togruta blinks up at him, expression pensive as he digests his  teacher's words.

His little face shifts as something else flits behind his eyes.

A new burning question lighting in his gaze.

“Master, do you think the dark side can ever be used for good?” Mika asks suddenly.

Finn balks at the question, blindsided by the unexpected complexity of it.

"What do you mean? " he replies with a curious look, leaning closer to study the boy.

Mika shrugs, not sure how to fully explain.

He opens his mouth and attempts to anyway, interest winning out.

" Mr Solo said it could be, that things like anger can sometimes be used for good, if you learn how to control it".

Finn purses his lips in displeasure at the mention of that  man's name. Bristling internally at his interference. 

"I see" he answers stiffly, hands clenching into fists.

"I am not sure I agree".

Mika’s little face pales at this.

“The dark side, it can be a dangerous path that leads to terrible things Mika. Things I have seen with my own eyes. It cannot be trusted”

Togrutas face falls further at this pronouncement, a fresh disappointment written there.

"Oh...okay"

Finn sees the change in his padawan and  can't help but notice the pricking of tears in young boy’s eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong buddy? Are you okay?" he says softly, placing his hand on Mika’s shoulder as he tries to catch his eye. Mika sniffs as he wipes at his eyes.

" It's just, if the  dark side can only be used for bad Master....I think I did a really terrible thing."

Finns grip tightens on the boy's shoulder, eyes narrowing as he  dr eads the answer to his next question. 

"What did you do Mika?" He asks carefully. The boy swipes at his eyes as he sniffles once more.

"I used anger against  Tuda , I tried to use the Force to hurt him" he confesses with a sob. Finns face falls in reply, eyes flicking over to the older boy who looks none the wiser to their conversation.

Tuda snores soundly and contentedly in his bed a few feet away, completely unharmed despite Mika's words of horror. 

However, clearly the intention behind the action is enough to rattle the younger child.

"Why would you do that buddy?" He asks more gently, trying to understand. Mika looks up at him through his tears in mild surprise, expecting find disgust from his mentor. He breathes deeply before speaking slowly and very softly.

" Tuda was bullying me Master Finn, he has been for a while and I....I just wanted to make him stop. I tried to say sorry ....but it was too late".

Finn sees no falsehood in little boy's face. A painful truth making itself known and twisting Finn’s stomach with anguish. Sickened by the  realization he has let this  harassment happen right under his nose.

The child pushed almost to breaking point.

"It’s okay” Finn whispers kindly after a long moment “I understand”.

Mika hiccups loudly, tears still streaming from his eyes.

“You do” he whimpers.

Finn nods before pulling the shaking, upset child into a small hug.

“Yes, I do and I will talk to  Tuda tomorrow.”

Mika hugs him back.

“Thank you Master” he sighs in relief.

“You’re welcome. Now I think it’s time we both get some sleep.” Finn yawns, releasing Mika’s little body and ambling over to a spare bunk on the other side of the room.

“You’re sleeping in here Master?” Mika squeaks in awe.

“Yeah ..... Miss Tico and I, we had a fight” Finn answers honestly, slipping under the covers with a sigh.

“Oh....” the padawan hums “Guess I am not the only one who needs to say sorry tomorrow”.

Finn chuckles lightly.

“No....you’re not”.

The is a slight rustle in the dark as Mika shifts onto his side, the sound of a small yawn permeating the quiet space. 

Finn lies there in the inky black for a moment, thoughts racing through his mind.

“Mika” he says suddenly “What else did you and  Mr Solo talk about?”

“Just stuff, he helped me with my  Auberesh translations and then we talked about our Moms.” Mika whispers back.

Finn sits up a little, interest suddenly piqued.

“Your Mom’s?”

“Yeah....he told me he really misses his Mom and that he can’t see her anymore. But he really wants to someday. I told him I miss my Mom too” 

Mika sighs sadly, shuffling on his bed as he tries to get comfortable.

“I know you do  buddy, you’ll get to see her soon. I promise” Finn assures him, thoughts running over the new knowledge he has gleaned from the child. Mika sighs  again but adds nothing more.

The room is silent as Finn is lost once more to his own racing mind. 

_ Ben Solo. _

Gods that guy is a mass of contradictions. 

And for Finn, it is becoming an increasingly difficult process now to connect him with the monster he once was. That malevolent figure of terror and fiery hatred.

But then again, none of us are entirely defined by our past he grudgingly admits.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Did Ben Solo qualify for such mercy too?

What reason did Finn really have to deny that?

It is a disconcerting feeling to become aware of the compassion and understanding he is growing to have for the man he should, by all rights, hate.

Throwing his whole sense of conviction into chaos, to see a once fierce opponent, as simply human.

Nothing more than flawed flesh and blood.

It unnerves him.

Growling to himself, Finn turns on his side and wills himself to fall asleep.

Desperate to leave this woeful day behind.   


* * *

Finn tosses and turns for what seems like hours.

His mind too wired and troubled to let him rest.

The night is still dark when he finally rises from his small bunk, sleep elusive even after the hours he has tried to drift off. Both padawan’s are snoring loudly in their bed, oblivious to their master's plight as he pads his way to the door.

The air is crisp, but cold when he leaves the dorm. His breath a long plume of white smoke as he gasps in the chill.

But he  continues .

Determined in his journey.

Finn doesn’t know what to expect when he enters his cabin a few moments later. Rose having been explicitly clear she did not want to see him until the morn and even then, that was not even a strong certainty.

Yet he cannot sleep, cannot let the new day dawn on such a sour note between them.

Rose is awake when he quietly walks through the door, eyes red rimmed and tired as she looks up at him from their double bed. At first, her expression is one of surprise, not expecting to see him so soon.

But then her kind features  twist, a scowl filling her brow as her eyes harden at him.

And yet, though she is visibly displeased by his presence, she doesn't order him to leave.

Strangely she makes no demands of him at all. Just simply stares as the awkwardness and tension grows around them.

Finn looks down at his feet, deeply ashamed  of how has hurt her. 

How he has made her believe a lie so distorted, it pains his heart to think she had accepted it so easily.

It drives him to try. To end that pain in her eyes.

Finn takes a deep breath and steps closer.

"Rose....I don't know how I could ever make this terrible night up to you. But please, please believe me when I say, I am so sorry." He says so quietly, Rose almost doesn't catch it.

She blinks up at him, face still a mask of discontent as she regards him silently.

Finn waits for her to reply.

For Rose to scream at him or spit back words of bitter hatred.

But nothing happens, no sounds leave her lips beyond a small grunt of annoyance.

Not dignifying his weak attempt at contrition with anything but silent derision.

In the end Finn decides to just keep talking, to lay everything out on the table.

"I didn't mean anything I said to Rey, none of it. I love you, so  karking much. I promise you."

Finn whimpers, falling to his knees in front of her as crawls the last few feet to the bedside.

“Rose, I swear, it is not like it sounded”.

“Then why say it” Rose finally replies, tone wounded as she glares at him irately.

“I was angry at Rey, I was trying to hurt her.” he replies shamefully, eyes falling to the dark wood of the floor.

“Why?” Rose retorts.

“Why would you do that to her? Your best friend” her voice is sour as she probes him for the answer. Finn shakes his head, a harsh exhale rushing out of his mouth.

“It’s a long story.”

Rose narrows her eyes at him further at this seeming deflection, not pleased one bit at his vague reply

“Did you mean what you said, about being in love with her” Rose demands instead, tone sullen as that niggling hurt of self- reproach smarts above all. Cursing herself for how blind she’d been to the signs.

Her chest rises up and down in a tense staccato rhythm as that cloying upset threatens to return with a vengeance. Fearing the answer even as she grapples for confirmation of his disloyalty.

Finn breathes deeper as he nods soberly, having no option but to tell her the unvarnished, painful truth.

“Yes, I did. I loved her once”.

Rose scoffs softly as an  unwanted tear falls down her cheek. Wiping it away before she scowls at him disdainfully.

“Why did you never tell me?” she demands furiously “something so big like this, why didn’t you have the decency to tell me?”

“Would it have mattered?” Finn shoots back, his gaze finally meeting Rose’s glare with a dour expression.

“Would it have changed how I feel about you or you how you feel about me?”

Rose's jaw clenches as he continues, tears flowing in earnest now.

“What good would it have caused?”

“It would have  stopped me feeling like an utter idiot” she snarls back at him “it would have prepared me for the reality that I will always,  _ always  _ be second best.”

Finn scowl breaks at her words, a look of utter sorrow filling his eyes.

“No Rosie, you are never second best” he replies ardently, catching her forlorn eyes as he pleads with her to believe him.

“You have  _ never _ __ and you will  _ never  _ be second best. Not to me”.

She allows him to take her hands as he reaches forth and brings them to his lips. Kissing each knuckle with a desperate sigh.

“Look, I did love Rey once, a long time ago. But not like I love you, not like  _ this _ . Never in the way we fit together.”

He leans closer, moving his hands towards Rose’s softening face as her anger fades. Those words of appeal finding root.

“I love  _ you _ . Okay?”.

He kisses her forehead, giving her a tender smile.

“And just I know when the time comes, I will love that little miracle of ours just as much as you, when we finally get to meet it”.

Something flutters in Rose’s gut at this, that little spark of life within her bubbling faintly.

Her hand goes to her abdomen as their baby flutters again, saying hello.

Finn places his hand on her abdomen too as his eyes drift to the beginnings of her bump, smiling at the quickening life within.

The pure love he feels already is overwhelming.

“You and I, there is no comparison” Finn mutters solemnly, imploring Rose to trust his words.

As her hands move to lace her fingers through his, it seems something has hit home.

He has reached her.

“Finn” Rose begins with a guarded look, catching his eyes as her head tilts back to him.

“You promise me, it’s all in the past? That you don’t feel that way about Rey anymore?”

Finn nods, taking both her hands in his once more.

“I promise you. With all my heart, I promise you there is nothing there but friendship now”

Rose looks at him, studies his eyes and his face. Watches every micro-expression that flits across his features. And then she knows.

He is telling the truth.

“Okay” she nods, the last of her concerns shifting from her body.

Finn kisses her hands again, smiling at her in gratitude as he breaths a little easier.

“But it doesn’t mean you’re off the hook” she adds after a beat, the ghost of a smile tugging at her lips.

Finn snorts as he squeezes her hands affectionately.

“Fair” he replies in assent.

Rose gives him a small smile before reaching forward and gently running her fingers over the bruises and cuts that blemish his face. The bridge of his nose and flesh under his eyes a mottled purple of skin.

Her brow furrows as she studies each mark and wound with an unhappy hum.

Meeting his gentle gaze, her troubled eyes narrow as she mulls over the violent mystery of his changed appearance.

Finally, she sighs with slight trepidation. 

Already knowing deep down, there is no doubt this mess has everything to do with Rey and their fight in the woods.

“What the hell happened to your face Finn? Because somehow, I don’t think you just fell over and bumped your head off something.”

Finn bites at his lip.

Steeling himself for what he’s about to say. He clears his throat and forces the words out.

“No, it’s not” he admits seriously. 

"Rose....there is something I need to tell you.”

* * *

_ Rey feels, cold. _

_ That sickening drop in her gut as the darkness rakes its talons down her back _

_ “ _ _ My child, _ _ do not fight it. This is your,  _ **_ destiny _ ** _!” _

_ There is a hand suddenly at her throat, pressing hard as it squeezes the air from her wind wipe. Crushing and choking the life from her. _

_ “Do not resist it Rey, do not fight what you know is yours to take” _

_ She kicks out at the unseeing phantom, meeting nothing but air. _

_ The creature cackles, releasing her throat and tossing her into a depthless sea. _

_ “One day, my child. One day you will thank me”. _

_ The waves overcome her in seconds, the sheer weight of them forcing down and under the raging current. _

_ Pining her down and stealing the space in her lungs. _

_ Drowning. _

_ A hand clutches her in the dark water, arching down to pull back to safety. _

_ “Rey!” the familiar voice calls. _

_ “Rey!” _

“Rey?” Ben’s voice trembles loud and clear, tearing her from the nightmare. She jolts awake, gasping as she sits up with wide eyes. Her clothes stick to her from the cold sweat running down her back.

Her heart thunders in her chest as she searches the room for the revenant of her dream. Finding nothing but Ben’s concerned brown eyes as she turns to see him sat at the end of her bed.

“Rey, you’re alright” he mumbles soothingly, running his thumb over her cheek as he leans forward.

“It was just a nightmare.”

Rey shudders heavily as she seems to come back to herself, covering Ben hand with her own.

“It was just a dream” she lies, closing her eyes as she sighs in relief.

Selling her deception in the ease she forces onto her face.

She knows Ben would be distraught by the true meaning of the images plaguing her mind. Certain he would stop her, force her to her forgo the crusade to  Ahch \- To, if he knew. 

These nightmares that blight her sleep, they are no simple dreams, but visions of a not too distant future.

Ben knows of the darkness that stalks her, but not of the battle that awaits her now once she crosses the threshold on Ahch-To.

So, she must believe her own myth, perpetuate the lie of control in order to keep his confidence.

“It was just a dream” she repeats more evenly, slowly opening her eyes to gaze at Ben solemnly.

“Are you alright?” he asks, pulling her onto his lap as she nods in reply.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just shaken” Rey whispers back, wrapping her arms around his middle and burying her face in Ben’s ample chest. 

Ben kisses at her temple, pulling tighter into him as he feels her sigh in contentment.

They sit there in this close position for a long moment, waiting for Rey’s fretfulness to abate. The shivers down her  spine and rapid pulse in her veins, slowing to a calm as peace is restored.

“Will you lie with me?” she says after a lull, rising her eyes to his hopefully.

“Of course” Ben replies with a sweet smile, relaxing his hold on her.

Rey beams back at him happily, slipping off his lap and coaxing him to lie down behind her.

It is a tight squeeze to fit them both on the narrow single bed, but somehow, they manage.

Ben’s chest is warm and comforting against her back as they snuggle in together, his arm tightly wrapped just under her chest.

“Better?” Ben sighs contentedly, kissing at her shoulder as he feels her smile in reply.

“Infinitely”.

Laying his head against the pillow, Ben lets out another cheerful hum. 

More than happy to let the conversation die in the peaceful dark of that room, the early hours now fast approaching as the predawn glow of the morning starts to turn the sky.

But Rey has other ideas, other things she must say before the day arrives.

“Ben...” she begins softly “Finn won’t come with me to Ahch-To. He won’t do it, he won’t help me”.

Her voice is low and dejected as she speaks, drawing an ache of disappointment from Ben’s chest.

But it is nothing he did not expect.

"You know he won't accept us Rey, accept me. " he replies bleakly, feeling Rey stiffen in his arms.

“Not now ....not ever”.

She turns carefully in the bed, coming to face him as she looks up at him with glassy eyes.

“I won’t give up.” she whispers back fiercely “I won’t stop until he does”.

“I know” Ben replies affectionately, dipping down to give her a chaste but tender kiss “and that’s why I love you sweetheart. But....sometimes ....sometimes you  have to let things go. There are minds even you can’t change.”

Rey’s nostrils flare as she looks up at him in almost exasperation.

“No” she grinds back, propping herself up on her elbow as she glares down at him mulishly.

“I won’t let him refuse me, all because of some ..... misplaced sense of retribution he has over unrequited feeling!”

Ben’s features darken as he digests her words, seeing her expression immediately pale at the outburst. She has obviously told Ben more than she’d meant to.

Everything clicks into place all at once.

“Wait, he’s jealous of me?” he snarls, sitting up and locking his stormy eyes on Rey.

“He’s in love with you, isn’t he?”

Rey winces at her own foolishness and lack of restraint, watching as Ben’s hackles rise.

That old, bitter antagonism toward Finn growing.

“No…” Rey answers carefully, not breaking the intense connection of their eyes “he  _ was  _ … as in past tense.”

Ben’s jaw clenches, face flushing in displeasure.

“He is having a baby with Rose now. So, it is  absolutely not worth you  getting all… _ you  _ about it.” Rey adds with a pointed look.

Ben’s hostility seems to deflate as he blinks back at her in bewilderment. Pacified a little by her words.

“What do you mean, all  _ me  _ about it?” he scoffs instead sorely. 

Rey smirks at him, relieved to see Ben has managed to grab a hold of himself and douse that dangerous fire of enmity before it really begins.

“You know...stupidly jealous or likely to punch him in the face again.” she replies teasingly, tilting his jaw in towards her as his demeanor softens further. Ben rolls his eyes at her taunt, but inwardly concedes the point. 

His fists have done more than enough damage to justify another, needless battle.

Rey pulls him closer, kissing him long and slow before looking deep into his eyes.

“You have nothing to worry about, you know that right?”

Ben sighs in resignation, nodding after a moment.

“Yeah, I know.”

Rey gives him a smile in reward, rubbing slow circles into his cheeks as she sighs softly.

She knows there is more that needs to be said between them to put this matter to bed, but her weariness is a hard affliction to ignore.

“Come on, enough talk. I need to sleep” she mumbles tiredly after a break, guiding Ben back down to the mattress with little effort.

Her bed mate doesn’t resist, arm soon flung over her side as he rests upon their shared pillow.

Nestling her face against his chest, Rey presses a lingering kiss to his breast and sighs happily.

Ben smiles at her in the dark, holding her closer as sleep soon takes them both.

* * *

Rose does not say anything for a long time, her brow set in a deep frown as she absorbs the tale Finn has laid out for her.

“Wow” is all she can utter as the shock subsides. Mind in disarray as she comes to terms with  the unusual  circumstances they find themselves in.

“Yeah wow” Finn mutters tiredly, shifting uncomfortably on the bed side her. His head resting on the soft cotton blanket as he blankly stares up at the low, timber roof.

“Now you see why I said all those awful and frankly stupid things earlier”

Rose bends her head in his direction, a thoughtful pout on her lips.

“Finn” she begins  solemnly “you have to help her.”

Finn’s eyes widen as he looks up at her, rising onto his elbow as his face grows sulky.

“Help her? You want me to be complicit in rescuing that ....that ....that _ asshole _ ?” he splutters.

Rose arches an eyebrow at him, seeing straight through his bluster.

“ Oh come on, don’t give me that crap.” she smiles slyly “I know you’ve thought about it”.

Finn glowers again, trying not show his indecision.

He had not expected Rose to be so empathetic about it, to consider Rey’s plea so calmly.

But then again, Rose always was a lot less conflicted when it came to giving others the benefit of the doubt.

It was one of her best traits, that  innate lack of prejudice and total acceptance of all she met.

“What would you do if the roles were reversed?” Rose challenges with a knowing look, already certain of the answer as Finn sighs in surrender.

“I’m not sure it’s a fair comparison” he grumbles half-heartedly, already admitting defeat even as he  argues weakly back.

“Well, it’s the only one that matters” Rose replies with sincerity, reaching over to cup Finn’s cheek gently.

“She is your best friend and you will never forgive yourself if something happens to her.”

Finn groans in reply, falling against the bed once more as he throws his arm over his face dramatically.

“Maker, why do you always have to be so wise?”

Rose smiles smugly as she lays down on his chest, pulling his arm down and settling herself against his side.

“One of us has to be” she sighs as she looks up at him. Finn rolls his eyes at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Well you don’t have to look so damn pleased with yourself about it” he grunts grumpily even as he wraps an arm around her shoulders. Pulling her in closer as he lets his body relax.

Both finally drifting off into heavy sleep in a few deep, happy breathes.

* * *

The dawn is bright and brilliant when Finn knocks on Rey’s door a few hours later, his head pounding from the woeful lack of sleep. 

He is surprised to find her fully dressed and alone when the door opens; arms filled with clothing and other items she owns.

“What are you doing?” he asks bemusedly.

Rey is thrown off by his calm composure, demeanor a stark contrast to the fury she’d endured only hours before.

“I’m packing to leave like you asked me to” she replies cheerlessly, stepping inside her quarters to dump the contents of her arms into the waiting open chest. Finn sighs heavily, remorseful for his earlier pronouncements.

“You don’t have to” he says carefully, stalling her hands as he looks at her earnestly.

“I don’t want you to” he adds candidly after a moment.

“You should” Rey mutters back, gaze falling on the open chest in front of her “I ruined everything”.

Finn surprises her by pulling her into an immediate hug, holding her tight as he soothes her guilt.

“You ruined nothing Rey, what happened between Rose and I, that was on me”

Rey holds back for a moment, slowly reciprocating Finn’s embrace as she feels his genuine regret for their earlier argument.

“I’m sorry all the same” she whispers sadly.

“So am I” he replies unhappily “but what’s done is done”.

He holds her for a moment longer before awkwardly stepping back. Eyes dropping to the floor as he clears his throat, steadying himself to utter his next revelation.

“Rey” he begins, chewing his lip as he forces the words out “I’ve given it a lot of thought and....”

Rey watches him carefully as her  curiosity grows. Face brightens as she feels something crackling in air, sparking into life in the Force as Finn’s heart opens once more to her. 

She anticipates his next words before he even forms the sounds on his tongue.

“Though I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Ben Solo for the things he did, he does not deserve the punishment he has been given.” 

Rey exhales in hope, Ben’s true name on her friend’s lips lifting her spirits to place she has never known before. 

Heart leaping as he adds the words she has wished for, ached for, these last few tense days.

“I will help  you, I will go with you to  Ahch -To".

Finn barely has time to prepare himself before Rey bursts into tears, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him tight.

“Thank you” she sobs “Thank you Finn”.

He smiles against her shoulder as he holds her tighter.

“You would do the same for me” he whispers gently, knowing in his heart how true this is.

She would do anything to help him, anything.

“But I will need to wait until the next full moon to travel, too much is yet to be done with this new platoon for me to leave yet”.

Rey pulls back, face twisting with mild chagrin at the delay in their passage to the outer rim. But she concedes, it’s probably best to quit while she ahead.

“ Of course ” she nods, giving him the sweetest of smiles as she swipes at her tears. Laughing in disbelief as if only now fully gathering what this all means.

“ Of course ”.

There’s a slight metallic groan in the far distance as the low hum of an approaching freighter skims the top of the highest trees. Engines slowing as it approaches the nearest airfield.

Finn’s grin seems to broaden as he looks out at the beautiful horizon. Their newest band of veterans arriving earlier than expected.

He turns to Rey with a hopeful look.

“Come on, let’s go say hello”

Proffering an open hand, he gestures his head towards the door.

Rey beams back at him, eyes shining with renewed joy as she takes his hand. Following him out into the coming dawn with a lightness she has not felt in years.

She has hope.

* * *

The dusk is starting to fall when the madness of initiation day starts to diminish for Rey, Finn, Rose and Jannah. That easy, agreeable camaraderie finding them again as the tension of the previous night fades like a bad dream.

They had all too busy with their new guests to dwell on the childish concerns of yesterday anyway. Thirty new and scared faces seeking understanding, take precedence over personal interests  every time .

Jannah and Finn are the last to make up, but it is a quick and almost painless  reconciliation . Congratulations and excitement a much more pleasant exchange.

And all at once, it is as if nothing has happened.

Rose’s renewed verve and cheerfulness is aided even more by Mika’s tuneless, but no less touching rendition of  _ The Happy Miner _ over lunch. Her beaming smile so effervescent it almost makes Finn fall in love with her all over again.

Rey would be hard pressed to find a more perfect day if she tried, this pulsing anticipation and sense of new optimism an intoxicating mix.

When she  meets Finn’s eye, she can do nothing but thank him silently. Be anything but in awe of his capacity for selflessness.

It all becomes too much.

Breaking her heart in such a way she never expected.

And then she  has to be alone, to process everything. 

To deal with the very real possibility the future she has yearned for her whole life, is drawing one step closer.

When Rey does not come back after excusing herself, it falls to Finn to find her.

Jannah and Rose tied up with settling the platoon in for the night.

Walking across the rope bridge, Finn whistles to himself as he looks out at the approaching twilight. Marveling at the canvas of pinks he finds across the canopy of  treetops .

Approaching Rey’s cabin, Finn’s feet screech to a halt.

Spotting Ben’s hulking figure resting on the railing outside the hut with a bottle clutched in his big hands.

At first Finn doesn’t know what to do, an immediate dread filling him.

But then Ben does something unexpected as he turns to see him standing there.

He nods to him in an almost agreeable gesture, lifting the bottle up to his lips as he takes a slow pull.

“Hi” Finn uncomfortably, not knowing how else to react.

“I was looking for Rey”.

“She’s in the fresher, seems your friend’s bootleg brew really doesn’t agree with her.” Ben says with a ghost of a grin. He takes another drink from the bottle, Finn suddenly recognizing the glass as Jannah’s home mix.

“I see” Finn nods, still feeling utterly ill at ease at this exchange.

“Not sure why” Ben continues, looking at the bottle as he studies the brownish liquid inside “It’s not half bad.”

“Yeah....I’ve had worse” Finn offers painfully, g allantly trying to maintain their awkward attempts at politeness.

Even as he exchanges pleasantries with the very man, that had quite recently, tried to beat him into a pulp.

“Weak stomach maybe” Ben shrugs as he ponders aloud, speaking more to himself than directly to Finn. There is a pause as the uneasy, stilted conversation dies. Finn shifts his weight from foot to foot, keen to leave this fraught and forced congeniality.   


He finds it  excruciating .

Ben’s eyes shift from the bottle, staring at him with this unreadable expression. He chews on his lip, studying Finn as the silence stretches on. 

Finn cannot take it, the awkward tension getting worse.

He is just about to excuse himself and leave the way he came when Ben surprises him a second time.

“I'm sorry, you know ....about the face.” he sighs solemnly, gesturing stiffly to his own cheeks.

Finn blinks back at him in genuine shock, not quite believing the man has  apologized . He’s at a loss at what to reply for a moment, the words that roll off his tongue uttered almost on instinct.

“I'm sorry for almost shooting you in the head.” Finn responds with a slight laugh.

“Yeah....Well.... it's not the first time someone’s tried” Ben rumbles dryly, flashing him a sly half smile before his reserved mask falls back into place.

That silence is back as they stare at one another, Finn breaking first as he clears his throat and looks away. This uneasy truce between them a slow and cautious affair to negotiate.

Ben takes another long pull from Rey’s drink, eyes narrowing as something turns in his mind.

Dark stare watching the other man as he shifts gawkily under Ben’s intense scrutiny.

“Why are you helping me? Why are you going with Rey to  Ahch \- To?” he says finally after a tense moment. Finn licks at his lips, not entirely expecting the question, but oddly prepared for it all the same.

“Because” he begins carefully  “it’s the right thing to do”.

Ben says nothing in reply, cocking his head to one side as he considers the statement.

Patiently waiting for Finn to continue, knowing there is more he wants to say, to explain.

“When we welcome each new platoon or squadron to Endor, we teach these people, these former soldiers of the enemy, that forgiveness is the first step towards freedom.”

Finn posture straightens, a new confidence finding him as he meets Ben’s penetrating gaze with a steeliness of his own.

“We tell them that no one is beyond forgiveness. Beyond a second chance if they truly want it and _own up_ to the mistakes they have made.”

Ben nods as he chews on the inside of his  cheek, listening more intently now.

“To refuse you the same chance at freedom, it would make a hypocrite of me and a mockery of the principles I try to live by” Finn says seriously.

“Okay, thanks I guess” Ben mumbles back, not really adding anything further as Finn’s declaration hangs in the air.

What else is there really to say?

He finishes the last of the alcohol in the bottle and places it at his feet.

“Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this for you” Finn admits cuttingly. Ben smirks at this, almost relieved to see the pretense of  civility fall away from Finn’s young face.

“ Oh I know” he counters with a mocking curl of his lip “your compassion only goes so far.”

Finn huffs, the beginnings of a smirk forming on his mouth. He turns back toward the bridge as he hears Rose call his name from below. Taking a step away from Ben, he cocks his head back over his shoulder as he speaks.

“ ....Just because I've decided not to kill you just yet, doesn't mean I like you.”

Ben snorts, shaking his head in amusement as he watches him go.

“The feeling’s mutual,  _ traitor _ .” he calls after.

Rey is soon at his side and looking  decidedly less green as she eyes him curiously.

Watching as Finn’s dark head disappears into the distance with a pensive frown.

“What was that all about?” she asks with trepidation.

Ben’s shrugs, giving her an easy smile.

“Nothing much, we're just making friend’s is all”.

“Sure you were” she laughs sardonically, grabbing his shirt and dragging him into her room with a grin.

“The warmth between you is just palpable!”

Ben’s grin broadens, catching round the waist as his eyes light up.

“You’re just jealous”

“Hopelessly” Rey retorts, pulling him in for a kiss as all the world fades around them.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it wrong how much I enjoyed writing about that impromptu mirror moment?  
> Hit me up if you have any comments on the chapter as a whole or specific scenes.
> 
> Chapter 15 we will finally be travelling to Ahch-To and that of-mentioned cave, but things will not go the way (Rey) thinks.
> 
> There will also be a slight time skip as well to get us moving along .
> 
> See you on the other side.  
> -RedCatRen


	15. Tandem in lucem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last days approach for Rey and Ben as the final preparations are made.  
> Poe wants to help and Rey really loves bath time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> It's been a while! I do apologize to everyone who has been waiting for this chapter for so long....I had an unfortunate case of writers block that would not shift.  
> Thankfully through various stages of wanting to throw the laptop across the room, the story FINALLY began to flow! It's not my best chapter... but....it's not my worst!  
> All I can say is the mofo chapter almost broke me and I did my best reader :)
> 
> And though as you will soon find out, we do not go to Ahch-To until the late stages of this installment, but I promise this was the last delay before the big, big event! As our time on Ahch-To (and not spoiling too much here) is likely to be an emotional punch to the gut, given what is happening in the world at present, I couldn't write that heavy chapter yet....I needed some positivity!
> 
> I wanted to thank everyone that write such nice things about Dusk till Dawn in their comments and all the lovely kudos's I received, it has really been uplifting to receive in this trying time. 
> 
> Also, why does everyone always say I make them cry? Like, I am so sorry about that....I try to tone down the angst, but I just can't!
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe out there and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> Much love,  
> RedCatRen

In the days that followed that tumultuous night, the wheels of fate begin to spin.

Setting everyone into motion as plans start to form and words become action.

Each player is briefed and certain of their part, great or small, in this risky game of chance they play. Knowing no matter what happens on Ahch-To, Ben’s future remains unwritten, but irreparably changed regardless of the outcome.

It is decided almost immediately that Rey will go to  Chandrila for the remainder of the moon cycle, to rest and train herself for the tests that lie ahead, whilst Finn will stay on Endor and see out the month with their new platoon. The former stormtrooper keen to stay on World until Rose and Jannah are ready to manage the  complicated project alone without him, for however long it takes. 

Finn will then leave upon the new full moons, to meet with Maz and Rey on Chandrila before they make the anxious, but relatively short journey to Ahch-To.

This plan is admittedly half-baked at its  heart but seems the best-case scenario for all parties. Given the number of unknowns and variables in this undertaking, it remains a dangerous mystery as to how this rescue will unfold.

Time would only tell upon their preparations. For they can only hope to strengthen themselves enough both physically and mentally, for what is likely to be their greatest test since the war.

For Rey, the month would afford her the chance to spend some much-needed time with her students, whilst Finn would be given the space to decompress and ponder over the burden he has promised to take on.

Finn at times quietly considered, they could be biting off more than they could chew venturing into that unknown realm. Who was to say what monsters lay on the underside of existence?

However, he is a man of his word and a promised is a promise no matter what.

He will  honour it.

And so, a week after she had landed on Endor, the friends part ways and Rey boards the ever-reliable Millennium Falcon once more to begin the next chapter. Accompanied as ever by her strange and unapologetically neurotic droid, D-O, to take the long journey home.

Or as close to  Chandrila will ever seem to her as home. 

Docking back in Hanna City is a strange experience that evening for in one sense it is a relief to be back on solid ground, and yet, she feels out of place in this bustling, urban landscape. 

Though it has barely been six weeks since she left the vibrant city, with everything that has happened in the interim, it seems a lifetime ago. That version of her seems a lifetime ago.

It is almost bittersweet for her to feel so secure and at ease in this place, but oddly detached from it all at the same time.

However, D-O could not be any happier to be back, beeping contentedly as they take the short walk from the port to Rey’s apartment in the  center of the city. Familiarity and the cityscapes breed confidence for the little droid, so relieved to have left the dirt and humidity of the jungles far behind.

The busy streets of well-dressed citizens and arching, soaring towers of  durasteel, only feeds the droid’s ease and enthusiasm.

He surges ahead, little voice urging her to hurry up as his excitement at being home grows.

Rey smiles after him, watching as he zips impatiently in circles and figures of eight as they reach her building.

She nods to a resident or two she recognizes as they enter the immense, imposing edifice, its internal structure a sheer wall of glass and steel. Looking up, Rey observes on each floor the luxury apartments that adorn either side of the main atrium. This an ornate hollow of glass in which the primary elevator shaft rises like a delicate spine of bottle green up its  centre . Rey’s lofty residence sits at the top of this false column of machanical  vertebrae , like the watchful eyes of a sentinel, surveying the oscillating, vivid city below. 

The apartment itself is a sprawling penthouse so ostentatiously huge and extravagantly furnished, it often makes her uncomfortable to sit amongst it all. These trappings of wealth and privilege. Such unapologetic luxury does not quite sit well with her, not when she considers the simple, meagre possessions she had grown up with. 

Just being alive with a full belly at the end of the working day, was a treasure beyond comparison on Jakku.

To live now, amid such frivolous displays of wealth when much of the galaxy still lives in abject poverty, is a sickening shame to her.

_ But  _ then again, to have refused such a home when it had been gifted so kindly to her, would have been beyond bad manners and a quite frankly, a moronic decision!

The residence itself had been a diplomatic suite before the outbreak of the last war and Rey had heard through the grapevine, it had been the home of some rich, foolhardy senator who converted the palatial apartment to the opulence she saw today. The senator herself had been tragically lost during the decimation of  Hosnian Prime and the penthouse had remained vacant until it had been gifted to Rey a year ago by the grateful Third Republic Senate. 

Well in truth, she had been given the penthouse by Poe  Dameron , the residence offered free of charge for the years of service she had given in their fight for freedom.

Rey couldn’t refuse the gesture even if she had wanted to. 

What did it matter if her fresher’s cotton bath towels alone, were worth more than her entire worldly possessions? It was  preposterous .

If only  Unkar Plutt could see her now, that cruel, stinking mass of corpulent flesh would have an aneurysm! And she would enjoy it in some dark twisted way, watching him suffer like. To see him seethe and cry at the riches and heights she had risen to. The jealousy eating him inside.

Oh how the humble scavenger had risen!

But she could only wish for such petty justice.

The elevator doors  _ ding  _ quietly as they open on the top floor and Rey sighs as ever at the utter extravagance of her new home even now.

But D-O doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

" _ Home _ " the little droid buzzes excitedly, whirring his way into the cavernous residence. He is quickly lost to her, more than content to entertain himself in the safe confines of the penthouse, faraway from all other beings.

"Yes home" Rey smiles gently, hanging her travel cloak on a hook by the door. There is a low beep behind her as her domestic  droid, D -3SE, comes to greet her in the vestibule. Its dull, grey arm reaching eagerly for her bags and trunk which she readily relinquishes. She’s too tired to argue or insistent upon doing it herself tonight.

The droid hums happily in reply when she hands over her belongings, program protocols satisfied as it zips quietly from her presence with her trunk and bags into tow.

Rey is perfectly aware such overindulgence seems silly and excessive, to  _ own  _ a droid solely for the purposes of  unpacking her meagre belongings. Yet, she is tired, bone weary from the day and her fitful nights of worried sleep to feel too guilty about it.

She is about ready to call it a day even now in the early hours of the sunlit evening and amble her tired body into bed. She longs to rest amongst her overly soft pillows and just drift soundlessly into sleep.

But life has other ideas that night.

There is a new and sudden loud rattle from her elevator. A low hum as an unannounced guest makes their way up towards her quarters. 

Rey is all too aware there are only a handful of people in the entire galaxy that have the authority to enter her home unannounced and three of them live on Endor. Another trusted associate would rather reconnect in a quiet  cantina, than lounge amongst all this excess, so there is only one real culprit in her mind travelling up uninvited.

Rey’s easy smile finds its way to her cheeks even before the doors open and Dameron’s cocksure smirk greets her.

"Hello buddy, miss me terribly?"

Rey doesn’t even get to reply before BB8 interrupts her immediate retort, the droid purring happily as he rolls out from behind his master's leg. He beeps up at her excitedly as he regales her with all the things she’s missed while away. Rey kneels to listen, patting the little BB unit affectionately as he gushes on.

Upon spotting D-O as he curiously rolls back into the vestibule, BB8 trills excitedly and zips after him as both droids spin happily in greeting.

“ _ FRIEND _ ”

Rey chuckles as she watches them, rising to her feet with a contented sigh.

"Well....” Poe begins smoothly “... are you just going to let me stand here looking like a nerf herder all day or”

“ ....are you going to invite me in?" Poe asks drolly, leaning up against the  durasteel walls of the elevator as he regards her with brotherly affection. That mocking smirk of his breaks into a full smile when Rey roll her eyes at him. 

She sighs heavily before pulling him out of the elevator and into a warm embrace.

"Why are you always so melodramatic?" She grouses as he squeezes her back enthusiastically.

" I am not melodramatic, I'm just making sure I'm not intruding" Poe shoots back good-naturedly, leaning back as he grips at her arms with a playful grin.

" Of course you are, but when has that ever stopped you before" Maz’s familiar voice huffs loudly. Her diminutive form suddenly appearing by Poe’s hip.

"So, stop simpering like a fool and get out of the way. I want to hug my young one."

Grumbling loudly, Maz pushes Poe aside as she looks up at Rey expectantly.

Rey snorts in response before leaning down and capturing her old friend into a tight hug.

Maz annoyance instantly dissolves, a smile in her voice as she speaks into her ear.

“It is good to see you home, my child”.

"It's good to see you too  Maz " Rey replies happily, rising back to her feet with a grin as she looks between her friends. 

" It's good to see you both".

“We have much to talk about young Jedi”  Maz says with a pointed look “But first...”

Her old, wrinkled hands fall to her small satchel, searching the bag eagerly until she pulls out a carmine colored bottle. An arched brow and smirk settle over her features as she offers the gift to Rey.

“Perhaps we should have a drop or two”.

Rey takes the proffered bottle with a light chuckle, shaking her head at the hefty vessel of wine.

“I am a definite yes to that plan,  Zorii gave me the night off and I intend to take  _ full  _ advantage of an evening of freedom!” Poe says eagerly. Rey’s smile broadens at his giddy expression, Poe as overwrought by the prospect of adult conversation.

“Come on then......how can I say no...... let’s go open this on the terrace.” she sighs in resignation.

“Gladly” Poe answers happily, following Rey with an eager bounce in his step.

* * *

It does not take long for the sumptuous bottle of wine to quickly wane to a dribble as Poe makes good on his word and takes full advantage of Rey’s hospitality. Glass after glass are knocked back as Rey sips bemusedly on her own single measure of wine. Her stomach is still too temperamental when it comes to alcohol of any form, to chance a repeat performance of Jannah’s brew. However, the sticky, sweetness of the Chandrilan Mountain wine seems to be sitting well with her delicate constitution.   


“Please tell me that is not the end of the evenings refreshments” Poe says with a brazen smirk as he drains the last of his wine, gently prodding Rey to summon her service droid. He shifts in his seat, rearranging the plump cushions at his back as he continues to smile shamelessly.

“Fine” Rey mutters in mock surrender. Twisting in her seat, Rey looks down at the  astromech droid by her feet.

“BB8, go tell D-3SE to bring one of the new bottles from my room.”

The small droid beeps in understanding as he rolls away, whistling after D-O to follow him.

“Thank you Rey” Poe says with charming purr in his voice “You really are the most attentive host”.

“And you really are the most ignoble scoundrel Senator  Dameron ”  Maz teases with a laugh.

“It’s not my fault most women find me faultlessly charming” he retorts with his usual, dashing grin.

“Most, but not all Poe.” Rey ripostes “personally, charmed is not a word I would use when it comes  to you .”

Poe cocks his head to one side as he regards her with playful challenge.

“If not  _ charmed _ , then what?” 

Rey sips her wine, a devilish smirk forming on her lips.

“Pity for your wife” she shoots back after a measured pause. Maz guffaws loudly as  Poe’s smug face falls for a second. He pouts at the wounding of his pride.

“Harpies, the both of you” he grumbles back, unable to stop the slow spread of his smile again as Rey and  Maz laugh unashamedly at him.

“ _ Wine _ ” D-3SE whirrs suddenly at Rey’s elbow, thin metal arms holding out the deep red bottle and fresh glasses.

“Yes, thank you D-3SE" she says gently, taking the items as the droid beeps cheerfully. It quickly slips back into the penthouse, mumbling to itself as it sets about completing the late evening meal in the grand kitchen.

Heaving a sigh, she hands Poe the new bottle and a glass, sharing a teasing smirk with Maz as the older woman tries to hide another snort of amusement in her glass. Poe is utterly oblivious to their continued mocking, focused instead upon filling his glass again with uncivilized vigour.

Taking a long, careful sip, Poe smacks his lips with astonishment as the new  flavor hits his tongue.

“Now that..... is what I call a Summer wine. Wow”.

Maz clears her throat as Poe stays enraptured by the bottle, almost awestruck by the richness of it. He remains distracted, studying the almost dark blood  colour of the wine in his glass as she tries repeatedly to catch his attention.

Clearing her throat again and waving her glass at him, Poe’s eyes finally shift to Maz as he looks back at her almost blankly.

“Perhaps....  _ others  _ may avail of the bottle you seem so obsessed with.”

Poe looks around sheepishly before reluctantly passing the bottle to Maz after a beat, whose eyes widen immediately upon seeing the label. She adjusts her goggles on her face as she checks the bottle once more, humming loudly when everything becomes clear.

" Varykino Sweet Wine... and my, my, a pre-Clone Wars vintage it seems. Where did you find such a treasure Rey?" she asks with a sly smile, already knowing the answer. There is no question as to where that bottle had come from, the answer clear as soon as that fragrant, viscous liquid fills her glass.

Rey shrugs, taking another careful sip from her own vessel.

"Oh, you know....just around." 

Maz smirk deepens, sharing a look with Poe as he finally seems to snap to attention.

"Does Queen  Dehvasa know you pilfered the  Nabooian Royal Cellar?" He chuckles, taking another long, appreciative sip from his glass”

"Maybe...may not, I don’t particularly care." Rey replies mischievously, smirk deepening as she looks out at the falling dusk, the pleasant hues of the late evening reflecting off the glass monoliths that surround Hanna City. Burnishing even the plainest of buildings in gold and crimson.

Poe slowly turns his glass on the smooth oak table, rolling the stem between his forefinger and thumb as he chuckles.   
“Just how much wine did you scavenge from the villa?” he asks bemusedly.

Rey shrugs again, taking another sip from her wine before turning back to Poe with an impish grin.

“Four or five maybe?”

“Bottles?”  Maz suggests with a puzzled frown.

Rey shakes her head, cheeks flushing a little now. Perhaps she had been a bit hasty.   
“No....cases.”   
Both her guests splutter at her admission, looking at each other in disbelief.

“You stole sixty bottles from  Varykino , whilst you were still a guest of the royal family?” Poe chokes, looking almost distraught by the prospect of such a  blantant display of disregard for a sovereign. The audacity to thieve so brazenly from such a major ally of the new senate at that!

“Stole is such an ugly word, I  _ liberated _ them Poe.....plus... Varykino is more monument than actual palace.....no one will miss them....for a while.” Rey argues back gently. Maz shakes her head, still looking slightly dumbfounded at her friend’s boldness.

And yet, she is oddly proud of her vindictiveness,

“Well I guess, it is a fitting revenge”  Maz offers with a smile, lifting her glass and taking a long generous gulp of the immaculate wine.

“And stupidly petty” Poe grumbles, chuckling despite himself “But I guess there’s a beauty to it”.

“I think it’s perfectly  justified, she did order you to leave and never come back.” Maz snorts, her healthy imagination already supplying the image of the Queen’s face when she discovers the theft. The thought of the tantrum she would throw tickles Maz so completely she cannot help but break out into full belly laughs.

“To  Dehvasa .... and her once immense collection of sweet wines” she roars out through giggles, toasting the Queen with insincere reverence. Poe shakes his head before joining in and clinking his glass against  Maz’s .

“To  Dehvasa and her foolish naivety.... really, who in their right mind would trust a former scavenger in a house of such treasures?” he teases with a snort of his own. Rey narrows her eyes at him before breaking out into a laugh as she meets their glasses with her own.

“To Poe  Dameron and the hope, he will keep his big trap shut for once.”

Poe scoffs at the jesting insult. 

“Maybe if you give me a case of this wine, I’ll consider it”.

Rey grins and places her now near empty glass on the table.

“Half a case?” she counters with an arch of her brow.

Poe purses his lips as he considers the offer. Draining the last of his wine, he gives her a lopsided smile as he leans across the table. Right hand outstretched.

“You have yourself a deal Master Skywalker.”

Rey beams as she leans forward and takes Poe’s hands, shaking on the agreement with another snort of amusement.

Poe matches her smile as he holds her gaze, however as time moves on, his features begin to darken. A strain to his smile and tightness around his eyes as though he was cataloguing every micro-expression she makes.

He silently let's go of her hand and leans back into his armchair. Eyes never leaving her curious gaze.

On Rey’s other side,  Maz Kanata sits with careful look on her face, far quieter than Rey has ever seen her. Watching and waiting, for what, she is not quite sure.

Discomfort and anticipation fill her gut with sudden twisting butterflies, a realization hitting her all at once, that this is more to this gathering than a mere social call.

Poe’s attempts at nonchalance fade away as he sees the understanding and trepidation pale his friend’s face.

That lurching dread is painted across her features, draining her cheeks of their usual  colour .

He twists his glass between his thumb and forefinger once more as he starts to frown, fighting to gather the courage to say the things that need to be said.  Maz looks between them, shifting in her much too big chair, as a tension starts to grow.

And in that tense atmosphere, Rey for one short, awful second, contemplates dipping into Poe’s mind. Splitting open her friend’s visibly troubled psyche to forewarn herself of the storm starting to brew between the old friends.

But good sense tells her what an  abhoration this would be, what a betrayal of trust especially to Poe, this act of desperation would mean.

She will wait, endure the mystery and try to maintain her cool even as the unease starts to  turn her stomach.

No one speaks for a long moment.

And because of this, they are all so focused on each other they do not notice D-3SE enter the terrace. Jumping visibly when the spindly, harmless droid speaks.

_ "Dinner is served Master." _

Rey looks at the droid with wide, unblinking eyes. Lips parted in mild shock that takes her a moment to collect herself from.

“Oh course” she manages to force out, nerves still on edge “Thank you D-3SE. We will be just a moment.”

She smiles gently at the timid machine, watching as it slowly whirrs back into the residence to wait patiently by the ornate dining room doors.

Poe looks oddly vexed when she turns back toward him, peeved by the interruption somehow. Yet he says nothing, exhaling loudly instead as he plasters another forced smile onto his face.

“I don’t know about you, but I am utterly famished” he says jovially, rising from his chair with his usual innate grace and grabbing the half bottle of Varykino wine from the table with a smirk.

“What say we continue this party over dinner?”

Rey hesitates for a moment, thrown off by his abrupt change in demeanor. Upon seeing the fractional deflation of his good  humor at her stiffness , Rey shakes herself free from her stupor.

“Of course.” she replies as earnestly as she can muster, pushing the muscles of her mouth into her best imitation of a beatific smile.

“I could do with a good meal after a week of Finn’s cooking.”

Maz cracks a smile at this, the pressure that had been building seeming to ease as they both stand to face Poe.

“You don’t have to tell me twice; he really is useless with a pot and skillet”  Maz laughs as they turn toward the double door of the terrace.

“And yet Rose and Jannah still let him near that kitchen...” Poe muses with a genuine smile of his own, leading the way to the dining room.

“Those poor  stormtroopers ” Rey quips “Makes me think, they’ll almost miss the First Order rations”.

“I would” Poe laughs “Though...at least he doesn’t make mystery meat stews like  Chewie ...”

“That is true. But....on the other hand, receiving  bantha steaks which consistently taste of rubber and charcoal, is not exactly a consolation prize.” Maz adds dryly, causing both Rey and Poe to guffaw uproariously.

“Well...lets agree to disagree. It’s only fair on Finn” Rey chokes out between giggles, prompting Poe to laugh even loader.

* * *

Night has fallen completely before the last of their lavish courses are finished. Their bellies full and wine near glasses empty as they strain against the overindulgence. There is an easy, drowsy undertone to their conversations now, the alcohol loosening their tongues and dulling their senses to a low and pleasant buzz.

Poe is showing the most signs of inebriation, his eyes glassy and small as they look between his two dear friends. His once debonair smirk now a sloppy twist of muscle upon his lips. Rey tries not to laugh at his flushed face, the heat from his skin a mottled crimson across his cheeks and nose. 

He has enjoyed more than his fair share of the tipple on offer and  Zorii will not be best pleased come morning.

Rey is already wincing at the hangover he is bound to have tomorrow, coupled by the racket his rambunctious twins are sure to inflict upon him. It is a recipe for disaster!

She had at least offered him a delay to the inevitable pain and suggested he stay in her guest room until he is sober enough to fly home, but Poe, being Poe is adamant on sleeping in his own bed.  _ Despite  _ the certain domestic argument his current state is bound to cause. However, he has at least consented to taking a senatorial shuttle home. Good sense winning out in that case.

Maz is thankfully a little more sedate, the low glow on her apricot cheeks the only sign she has consumed a quantity of wine tonight.

Rey is remarkably sober given the bottle that have been consumed, having switched to  moof juice midway through the second course. The rich, delicious wine had just not appealed to her palate that night.

She had resigned herself to another few hours of Poe’s humorous, but ultimately inane ramblings, when he abruptly changes tone.

The copious glasses of alcohol in his system, dampening his inhibitions enough to let the words he has kept at bay all night, tumble out in a gentle  _ whoosh  _ of air.

“How long were you going to keep it from me?” he says carefully, licking at his lips as he steadies himself to speak again.

“How long were you going to flit about the galaxy after him and not tell me?”

Rey is in utter bemusement as she cocks her head to the side, watching as Maz suddenly averts her knowing gaze and stares out into the far distance. Visibly uncomfortable. 

That panic of earlier rises in Rey again. The truth hitting like a bolt to the chest.

_ Ben _ . Poe is talking about  _ Ben _ .

She gulps as she feels all the blood in her head rush to her face. Body suddenly very hot.

“What are you talking about?” she whispers back, completely unconvincing in her attempts at innocence.

Poe’s gaze hardens as all good  humor fades from his handsome features.

“I know Rey. I know....everything” he mutters back bitterly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Poe” Rey answers more harshly this time, still feigning ignorance but in no doubt now. Anger prickles at the base of her head as she digests Maz’s seeming betrayal. 

Who else could have told him?

Rey’s jaw twitches as she grinds her teeth together, unable to stop herself from glaring at the old  Takodanian with malice.  Maz once more avoids her eyes, now staring fixedly at her empty dessert bowl.

“No? You have no idea what I’m talking about?” Poe laughs sourly.

“Answer me this then Rey, what have  _ you  _ been doing for the last month? Why did you go to Dagobah and Endor after you left Naboo? Were you  _ perhaps  _ looking for something?”

Rey’s eyes narrow as she scowls at her friend.

“I don’t have to explain my movements to you Senator  Dameron . It was....personal” she bites back.

“ _ Personal _ ? So  _ personal  _ then that you chose to leave your beloved students alone for weeks on end, with no explanation. What could possibly that be  _ that  _ important?”

“Once more, I do not have to explain my actions to  _ you  _ Poe” Rey growls back, jumping to her feet as her temper gets the better of her. A dangerous energy quivers in the air between them as the Force feeds upon her anger. Swallowing deeply, Rey takes a long, calming breath.

“Somethings in my life are private and do not concern anyone else but me”.

Poe shakes his head, taking a deep breath of his own.

“I agree there are things I have no business concerning myself with, but it does however concern me if the Grand Master of the New Jedi order and esteemed guardian of the Third Republic, is spotted repeatedly on ally soil with a known war criminal”.

Rey chokes on her breath, a feeling of nausea washing over her. 

_ Kark _ _. _

“When I got word of a possible sighting of  Kylo Ren on Naboo, I thought the intelligence team had gone  certifiably mad, but then I saw the images they had received from the Naboo Royal Guard....and I....”

Rey doesn’t know how even begin to explain, any words of mitigation sticking in her throat.

Poe frowns heavily, jaw tightening as he pauses. Rey doesn't dare interject, refute the claims or try  defending herself. There's no point.

She sits back into her chair slowly and waits for his certain reprimand.

" There is no doubt it was him Rey, clear as day and I am only thankful the Queen guards were more focused on YOU to notice who your guest really was.....or...”

He pauses again, stricken look on his face and he ponder upon the stark alternative.

“ ..... we would be having a very different conversation right now."

Rey feels her gut drop, knowing such an act of treason would have  led to her imprisonment and exile at the very best. 

Her head on a platter at very and likely worst.

"I'm sorry Poe, I didn't think anyone knew ....I didn't think anyone would ever know" she whispers back with equal shame and regret for the position she has put him in.

" Rey, you took up residence at  Varykino of all places, squatting there illegally at that.... you're the head of the galaxy's intelligence and defense program ....Of course the Queen would have kept eyes on you!" Poe growls back at her, voice dangerous quiet as he looks at her with visible disappointment.

How could she be so stupid?

“Did you forget I am on the security council? Did you forget  _ you  _ are on the security council?” Poe adds caustically, causing her to wince further.

“What are you going to do?” Rey asks quietly, utterly shamed by her foolishness. Poe looks at her carefully, frown heavy and unforgiving.

He sighs loudly, the reflex action of the harsh exhale relaxing his shoulders and calming his scolding anger.

“Nothing. I am going to do nothing......I buried the  evidence, so your secret is safe…for now.” Poe says solemnly.

“but.... you must know, if you bring him back here Rey....There’s no amount of money or power I can use to protect you from certain mob justice….Ben Solo will always be Kylo Ren in the eyes of our people....” the warning in his voice chills her and she knows he is right.

“You must have a plan my child” Maz chimes in “or you will both be in grave danger.”   
Rey chews on her lip as she looks between her friends, at a loss on what to say. 

Maker how she knows they are right.

There is no possible happy ending for her and Ben here in the Core Worlds, now or ever in the future. The life she has known these past few years would have to end, there is no other way.

She will have to begin again.

Leave her precious students in the care of Finn and Jannah and just, disappear.

Leave it all behind for him. Her dark fallen prince.

It is a monumental sacrifice, but she is willing to make it.

Rey shifts in her chair numbly as this realization washes over her. Poe’s eyes are dark as he studies her with an inscrutable look on his face. Searching her features even as he sighs to begin again. His tone is a little gentler when he speaks again.

"Look....much as I hate the guy, once I spoke to Finn...." 

"You spoke to Finn about Ben!' Rey exclaims, temper flaring again. Quick to register the fact her friends have been conspiring behind her back. 

"Of course, I spoke to Finn! I thought you'd lost your damn mind!" Poe huffs back defensively

Rey scowls at him, arms crossing on her chest sulkily. Grudging to admit he has a point, if the roles were reversed, she is certain she would have done the exact same thing.

“He is probably the only person in entire galaxy you would listen to if things went to  bantha poodoo.....I had to be sure he was ready for this. But then.....as it turns out, he already knew.”

Turning to  Maz , Poe gives her a knowing look filled with mild admonishment.

“As did our dear friend here”

“I have my sources” the old woman chuckles coyly, not one bit sorry she has withheld information on a matter of this size.

“Surprised?” Rey bites back caustically. Poe’s smirk is back when he catches her gaze again.

“Not really, I always got the sense you never truly trusted me”.

“I don’t” she replies coldly “You have always been a stubborn and reckless hothead  Dameron .....even if you are a Senator now.”

Poe’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead at her cutting remark.

“Ouch!” he mumbles woundedly, her words hitting harder than he is willing to admit.

“Well if that’s how you really feel, perhaps I was mistaken for coming here tonight to offer my help” he adds darkly. Rey’s eyes widen in surprise at the remark, head whipping up to meet his gaze with a flustered expression. Vitriol and self-righteous anger draining from her face.

A flicker of something hopeful burrows itself in her chest.

“Help? You want to help me” she repeats in slight trepidation.

“ Of course, I do” he snaps back.

Reigning in his ire, he huffs loudly before speaking once more.

“Just because I cannot help you find a home  here, doesn’t mean I can’t help you find home somewhere else.” Poe replies earnestly, leaning forward as he looks at her more kindly than she truly deserves. 

“There are things Poe and I can  _ arrange  _ so to speak” Maz says cryptically, but leaving no doubt said arrangements will not be entirely legal.

“If you pull off what Finn told me you are attempting to pull off on Ahch-To, you’re going to need certain documents and contingency plans in place.....unless you really want to spend the rest of your life on Ahch-To....or perhaps Jakku?”

“Maker no!” Rey snaps back almost immediately, biting at his teasing.

“Well then....you are going to need my help” Poe says with another self-assured smirk, eyes falling on Maz with gleeful delight “ _ Our  _ help”. 

“Why are you doing this Poe, sticking your neck out for Ben? For me?” Rey asks carefully, studying Poe’s enigmatic expression. His front is all charm but it masks so much more beneath the surface. 

His smile falters a little, gaze sharpening as he looks back at her more seriously.

“I knew Ben when he was a little boy, Rey. We even played together before he was sent to away to train with Luke.....and I guess.....based on what Finn told me and how you seem to feel about him... that you...”

Poe falters and Rey blushes brightly at the unspoken single syllabled word that hangs in the air. Leaving no doubt in her mind, Poe is very much aware of their relationship status.

“I believe ....If you can feel that  _ way  _ about him.... then Ben I once knew, is still in there somewhere.” he finishes quietly.

“I am doing this  because I know Leia would have wanted this with all her heart...I am doing this because I want to give you that chance at love and  happiness, I know you crave. I want that for the _both_ of you.” 

Rey takes in a shaky, sharp breath as he continues. Suddenly so grateful for the wisdom and loyalty of her friend Poe  Dameron in her hour of need. Her conscience now so guilt ridden for doubting him.

“I am doing it for you  _ and  _ the sad, lonely little boy I once knew. Because no one deserves to be alone”.

Rey looks at him in awe, bewildered by the man she  sees before her. It is a side to him she has seldom seen, this open, raw and vulnerable person. It puts her at ease in an instant because he understands.

“Thank you” is all she can manage as her voice grows dry and tight. The threat of tears quickly squashed as she clears her throat awkwardly.

“I don’t know even how ....”

“Don’t thank me yet Rey, there’s still a lot to do before you’re in the clear” Poe interrupts with a cheerful tone that seems oddly out of place, given the serious fraud he is planning to commit.

Rey frowns for a second as her mouth turn up into a bemused half-smile.

He’s enjoying this way too much.

“Why do I get the sense, this will be the most  fun you’ve ever had since the War?”

“Apart from raising your kids obviously” Maz interjects dryly, quirking an eyebrow at the wayward senator.

Poe chuckles lightly.

“Obviously the twins are  _ such fun,  _ but maybe I am just doing this as I’m a  _ good  _ friend _?” _

Rey purses her lips before shaking her head.

”Nahhhh...you get off on it, this glimpse of duplicity and subterfuge. It helps you relive the glory days of Spice running old man”.

Poe scoffs at her harmless insult, charmed by the teasing glint in her eyes.

“Old man.  _ Old man _ ! Maker you are an ungrateful wretch Master Skywalker.”

Maz laughs heartily as the last of the tension which had hung over much of the evening, fades into oblivion.

“And you Poe Dameron, are an eternal reprobate at heart" Rey quips impishly in reply.

“ Children, children , please try to play nice" Maz scolds them jokingly. The two combatants grin mischievously, friendship salvaged by the sheer and sincere care they hold for one another.

However, there is much to discuss tonight now that this particular can of worms has been opened. There are important things that need to be agreed, new possibilities they to debate and much truth they need share in the interest of transparency.

“So…” Rey starts more seriously this time, a solemn  humour finding its way onto her pretty features. 

“Where do you suggest we begin?”

Poe and Maz share a look, something sombre passing between them.

“Let’s start at the beginning my child, for what better place is there to understand”

* * *

The next two weeks after that night pass in a relative blur for Rey, the pace of life and return to her normal routine is a shock to the system. This unrelenting weariness takes hold of her body despite her best efforts rest and recover. The lessons she had once imparted with ease and the energetic bouts of sparring she had fought with glee, now leave her spent.

There is no opportunity for Rey to miss Ben despite his glaring absence on  Chandrila those first few weeks. General life and the exhaustion that plagues her, often forces Rey to bed as soon as the sun sets with little thought for anything else. Evening meals at times abandoned in  favour of her soft mattress and the mountain of pillows that beckon to her. 

Never has she slept so much and so soundlessly. Her dreams for once, remain a calm sea of tranquility, even as her body fails her in other ways.

There is no spare energy left for Rey to try find Ben during her daily meditation, but she knows he’s there. A ghost at her back, silent but ever watchful.

She knows she will see him soon without forcing the issue.

On the rare evening her worn body allows it, she dines with Maz or Poe in her grand apartment, and at times with both when their schedules allow. Their conversations begin light, until reality sets in and all discourse leads back to her post-mission plans. 

In the end, they each pull through for her as promised. Easing at least those troublesome worries of the future and where she will go.

If Ben is to return, his chances now of a new and free life are all but secured and Rey can look to tomorrow with tentative hope.

And yet, there is still a sense of guilt that gnaws upon the back of her mind. Twisting her guts until a burning, bilious feeling sticks in her throat. 

She is going to break her  student's hearts, fail them in the worst possible way.

How can she bear to leave them?

It seems cruel to nurture and guide those impressionable minds towards a brighter future, to promise their parents that she would take care of them, only to abandon her own principles for the fulfillment of selfish wants.

Perhaps, this was why the Jedi of old had forbidden attachment, banned love beyond an adoration and fidelity to the order and their archaic ways, in order to secure the future.

How else could you condition a person to dedicate themselves to the Force without removing emotional distractions, those tests upon your loyalty.

But for Rey, it is too late.

She would rather forsake the Force forever than give up Ben and that sense of belonging and sanctuary he gives her.

When the time comes, Rey will walk away from it all. Start again on some far side of existence and find a new destiny, but this time, no longer alone.

She will have the lost half of herself at last.

Even still, Rey will not leave her precious students to flounder and fail once she leaves, their fate and development safeguarded by the capable hands of her friends' guardianship. 

Not that Finn and Jannah know of this fact yet, for it is a conversation she will broach with Finn on their way to  Ahch -To. 

Yet she knows, he will not refuse her.

For now, teaching her students and finding the time to prepare herself for what's to come, takes all the energy and concentration she has. There is no more space within her head for anything else.

Rey can only focus on  Ahch -To and the dark  spectres that waits in the shadows.

To prepare her body for battle and hope she has done enough.

* * *

It's an ominous and stormy evening that finds Rey Skywalker on the fourteenth day of her return. The expansive sky of  Chandrila a steely grey as threads of fire dissect the clouds. The booming roll of thunder vibrates through the penthouse to settle in the bottom of her stomach. Churning and disturbing her solace for the briefest of moments.

Outside her window the once bright and magnificent skyscrapers surrounding the city, reflect nothing but the gloom and threatening power of the lightening. Those sleek and vacant towers rising toward the sky like forbidding obelisks of stone, featureless and stark against the flashes that illuminate them.

Rey shivers as heavy rain starts to pummel the side of her building, warping her view of Hanna City as the glass is coated in sheets of water. The temperature seems to drop around her despite her relatively overheated condition. Her face and chest are a bright crimson, a sheen of sweat spread across  brow from the  vigorous training she had just finished. 

It had been the first time in a long time she had found the opportunity and energy to use the training room in her quarters. So long in fact, the little used sparring droid was almost too eager to receive her savage blows and harsh manipulations of the Force. Luckily for it, Rey’s training had mostly constituted of wooden sabers drills and very basic maneuvers. There were no limbs or parts for it to repair or replace when she had finished, unscathed at least for today.

Rey’s arms and shoulders feel heavy and sore now in the aftermath, but it was the kind of fatigue she welcomes. The ache of overstretched muscles a sign of tested strength and heightened skills. 

She feels more like her old self than she has in weeks.

Lessons had finished earlier than usual today, her students having left in the midafternoon for their weekends at home with their families. These trips were a bi-quarterly event everyone forward to and was an initiative Rey had endorsed right from the beginning. When she had founded the new Jedi, Rey had promised herself they would not become like the isolationists of past, segregating children from their loved ones and discouraging emotions that grew beyond friendship. Family and love would be integral to their new ethos.

Whether the family you had was of blood or found family, the new order would tread the balance between duty and love for as long as they could.

Many of the younglings in their lessons had been too excited to really concentrate on anything, young minds already getting ready for their transports home. Rey’s older padawan’s Kane and Deka, though similarly distracted, were at least gracious enough to pretend to take in her lessons that day.

In the end, Rey had mercifully dismissed them all before the midday meal and set to helping the youngest of her students prepare. Their giddy, smiling faces more than worth the pain of trying to wrangle the hyperactive six and seven-year olds into some sort of order. Their idea of packing leaving much to the imagination.

Rey had then accompanied the small gaggle of younglings from their quarters, a small collection of interconnecting dorms a few floors below her own residence, to the lively main space port at the  centre of Hanna City. Guiding them to their home world transports with a permanent smile on her face. Knowing deep down, there would be few times ahead she would witness such innocent  joywith them. 

Rey stayed until the very last transport left, hugging every student with a promise to see them in few days' time. Their little faces skeptical despite her sincerity, young spirits wounded by her last disappearance.

But Rey had meant it.

Rain or shine, she would meet them all here again at this very port. 

Watching the storm build outside her large windows, Rey ponders for not the first-time what Luke will think of her choosing love over duty.

Would he agree?

Would he understand?

Would Leia understand?

It has been a few weeks since either have appeared to her and she wonders how they will take the changes in her, the switch in her priorities.

But, she finds, she does not care.

Her old master's had always lived their lives on their own terms, guiding the galaxy under their own sense of justice and morality.

It is time she lives on hers.

Turning away from the windows in her main lounge, Rey shivers again. The sweat cooling on her skin as it pulls all the warmth from her core. Her limbs feel heavy and worn to the brink, her tested body in desperate need of relief.

Stripping to her underthings, Rey begins to draw a bath, filling the gigantic tub with lavender and other aromatic oils to relax her muscles. The steaming water layers the fresher with the heady scent of woody flowers and zesty tones as it flows into the tub. The effect upon her is almost immediate, the warmth of the room seeping deeply into her bones as each inhalation of the  vaporised oils, relaxes her further. 

Dipping her hand into the milk, frothy water, she is satisfied to find the bath has reached her preferred baking temperature. Steam rising in long plumes in the cool evening air, sticking to her skin as she breathes it in. 

Peeling off her panties and breast band Rey hums happily to herself as she steps into the deep, wide porcelain bath and slips down sluggish into the waiting water. Her muscles throbbing and relaxing as soon as the heat enraptures her limbs, coaxing the tension and knots from her body.

Rey stretches her legs out further, her toes just about reaching halfway across the vast vat of water. And though this rounded tub is big enough to fit four or five people, but it is the one luxury Rey allows herself sparingly in this immense, palatial home.

Rey sighs out in contentment as the lavender and hot water relieves her aches, eyes settling on the opaque glass of the fresher’s farthest wall. The encroaching storm outside is making itself known as it lights the dim, candlelit room with brilliance in concurrent seconds of blinding strikes. The wafting steam from her bath swirls over her skin, to roll in shapes and patterns that glow weakly in the interspersed gloom. Each incandescent strike of the storm making ghosts and phantoms of that drifting fog. Adding melancholy to the tranquil scene.

There is a crackle of electricity that surges its way through the leaden air, energy buzzing through Rey’s synapses to set the hairs on the back of her neck on end. Butterflies flutter in her stomach as some unknown anticipation fills her. 

Trailing her fingers over her chest and down to her abdomen, Rey tries to quell this new sensation. Her coarse fingertips coast around her breasts in calming motions as she lets her mind wander once more. Absentminded as her hands drift over her body in the subconscious imitation of her absent lover.

A sudden stark loneliness coming over her.

Fate however gifts Rey an end to that aching feeling of separation, before the errant thought becomes rooted in her mind.

“Wow ….. that really is just teasing, isn’t it” Ben rich voice hums suddenly by her ear, startling Rey so badly she slips on the smooth porcelain as she bolts back. Water sloshes out onto the floor and onto Ben as she loses balance, her grip falling from the slick sides of the tub with an audible squeak. Unable to find any friction to stop the motion, she slips under the water as her feet skid ineffectually across the bottom of the tub in momentary panic.

Ben’s left arm is soon reaching down and pulling her upwards, laughing as she surfaces in a loud rasping splutters and gasps of shock.

Rey coughs as she finally lurches forward enough to propel her chest out of the water. She takes a long, steadying breath, wiping at her eyes before leveling Ben a furious glare.

“Ben! You scared the absolute  _ KARK  _ out of me. Maker don’t do that”.

Ben just chuckles in reply, a mischievous glint shining in those beautiful, whiskey colored eyes. He cocks his head to one side as he regards her, eyes shamelessly tracing the glistening lines of her body. Appreciative of the familiar curve of her chest and narrow waist as it disappears into the steaming water below. Ben rests his chin on his arm as he plays upon surface of the bath, looking at Rey with that same cheeky, flirtatious smirk that both infuriates and entices her in equal measure.

Rey’s frown stays in places even as her fury quickly fades, bad temper overcome by the immediate sense of relief at seeing him again.

“Where have you been?” she asks touchily, shifting closer in the water until she sits almost nose to nose with him. The question is loaded with complaint, as if the absence has been his choice in any way. Ben does not take offense to her caustic mood, smirk deepening as he strokes her thumb down her flushed cheek. There is weariness there in the dark hazel of her gaze, an exhaustion in the way she sighs at his touch. Like she can start to rest now.

That the waiting is almost over.

Ben can see life has not been easy these last few weeks apart and Rey seems, dimmed by it somehow.

Troubled.

“Oh.... you know, I’ve painting the town red of course.” he answers flippantly, kissing her knuckles as they rest against the edge of the bath. Rey’s lip quirks up in an imitation of a smile, looking up at him through her lashes as she snorts gently.

Trailing his fingers over her cheek, Ben leans closer. Looking at her more thoughtfully.

“What about you, you been okay?”

Rey sighs, shrugging lightly as she puts her hands over his arms and leans her head against his forehead. Not sure how honest she should be with her answer.

What would Ben think of the plans she has been making without his input? Would he be  distraught by future of relative isolation she is considering because of him, this self-exile in everything but name?

How can she tell him of the guilt and regret she already feels for the lives she will abandon?

All because she loves him.

“Rey?” Ben tries again, tipping her chin up so she faces him once more.

She will not meet his eye, chewing on her lip instead as something dark crosses her features.

“What is it sweetheart?” he asks softly, thumb stroking her damp, flushed skin with a concerned look.

Rey opens her mouth to speak, hesitating as the beginnings of a phrase catches in her throat.

She swiftly shuts her mouth again, too tired to handle speaking about this tonight.

Clearing her throat, she drags her gaze back up to Ben with a more guarded expression.

“Nothing...I’m just tired” she lies with a shake of her head. Ben looks as though he’ll press the issue as his shrewd eyes search her troubled face, but with a deep sigh of his own, he lets it go.

At least for the moment.

“Okay” he murmurs back, brushing the wet strands of her hair away from her eyes. He stares at her long moment before rocking forward and pressing the sweetest of kisses to her waiting lips, putting the matter behind them for now with low hum of satisfaction as they part.

“Gods, I missed that” he says gruffly, a shy half smile forming on his mouth. Rey’s tight expression relaxes as her eyes grow soft and warm. A small, but real smile breaking through.

It stretches across her mouth until she beams at Ben so beautifully it makes his heart leap in his chest. The surrounding candlelight catches in her eyes in that moment, reflecting every  colour in her iris until they shine like precious stones.

She is luminous and without compare.

“I missed it too” Rey replies earnestly, cupping his cheek in her hand as she sighs happily.

Ben leans forward with soft smile and kisses her again, deeper this time as his hands wind in the wet tangles of her hair. Rey pulls him as close as she can, fingers grasping at the soft material of his shirt as she loses herself to the familiar warmth of his mouth.

Seeking any small part of him he will give her.

There is an audible squeak as Rey abruptly loses her balance again on the frictionless porcelain and almost drags Ben in with her as she slides sideways. His dark shirt is utterly soaked by the sudden slosh of soapy water that tumbles over the side as Rey scrambles to grab the edge of the bath.

Ben pulls back a little with a chuckle, resting his head against Rey when she finally rights herself again.

“I think perhaps, this would be easier if just got in with you".

He is mostly joking, yet Rey looks delighted by the suggestion.

“ Why don’t you?” she replies archly , an enticing smirk greeting him as he cocks his head to look at her better. 

“Really, you don’t mind?”

Rey rolls her eyes.

“No, have you seen the size of this tub? Just get in Solo.”

Ben flashes her a smirk of his own, not waiting to be told twice. His sodden shirt is quickly tossed to the far end of the room while he makes slow work of his pants as he stands. Teasing her as he looks down at Rey with that signature smirk.

“Gods Ben, would you hurry up already! I’m starting to change my mind.” She grumbles, splashing him lightly even as her eyes flash up at him in  admiration . Enraptured as ever by his immense and impressive form. 

“You are so impatient Scavenger” he shoots back, tilting down to steal a kiss before swinging his long, thick legs over the side of the tub and sliding in behind her.

“Happy now?” he murmurs decidedly more softly, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her up against his chest. Rey goes with the motion, tucking her head just under his chin as she places her arms over his.

“Very” she agrees with a victorious tone, snorting loudly as his hand immediately brushes up shamelessly over her soft nipple.

“Hey" she laughs, pushing his wandering hand away “that’s rather impolite".

Ben’s chest rumbles as he chuckles lightly.

“Sorry, they are just there!”

Rey scoffs softly at him, a teasing note in her voice when she speaks again.

“Just behave young man”.

Ben chuckles again, kissing the sensitive skin at the back of her neck until she squirms in response.

“Yes ma’am” he mumbles teasingly. Loving how her breath quickens with each brush upon the nape.

“Stop” Rey grumbles, voice sounding throaty and thick even as she chastises him “It tickles too much”.

Ben pulls back with a rumbling hum, a triumphant smirk forming on his mouth Rey feels as he rests his lips near the crown of her head. She bites back another scolding reprimand, not wanting to provoke his teasing again so soon.

Ben’s  mischievous mood seems to wane however, more than content to just hold her and relax into the warm, scented water around them. 

Outside the summer storm still rages like a wounded animal, howling through the gaps in the thick glass and  Corellian steel, to fill the penthouse with the low buzz of anger. Watching from the bathtub, the candlelit room is filled with intermittent light as lightning flashes again and again, casting new shadows into the cavernous fresher. 

Ben holds Rey tighter as the crackle and rumble of thunder vibrates in answer, the deep and low frequency of each sound hitting him square in the chest. It has been a long time since he had taken the time to watch such a thunderstorm, the experience stoking boyhood memories long cast aside. Those  half-remembered dreams, of nights spent in the  Chandrilan countryside, watching the summer squalls as his mother told him stories of the galaxy.

The piercing pang in his chest that accompanies these remnants of his past, quickly tears his eyes from the opaque windows. Upset mind seeking new distractions to dampen the pain.

"Can I just say, this tub is ridiculous, why would anyone ever need something so big?" Ben muses suddenly aloud, kissing Rey’s shoulder as he regards rest the room.

"Maybe the previous owner was a Hutt or a Wookie?" she offers with a languid sigh, limbs loose and slack against Ben. She is none to ready to have the tranquility broken yet by trivial ponderings.

But Ben is nonplussed and intrigued by this new, unanswered mystery in front of them.

"Maybe they had an inferiority complex" Ben snorts as the thought occurs to him "this whole fresher is the definition of overcompensation. It’s excessive!"

Rey cannot help but laugh a little, listless spell broken before it really began.

"You wait till you see my bedroom" she teases after a breath, running her feet along his bare legs until he shivers.

"Now that's excessive".

A low growl rumbles from his chest as he considers the unspoken offer.

" Don't tempt me sweetheart or I'll have to show you what else is excessive. "

Turning in his arms Rey comes to face him with a smirk. Cocking a dark eyebrow, she leans in with a purr.

"Your ego perchance?" 

Ben grunts, his big hands drifting down to her hips as he pulls her closer.

"I've never heard you complain".

Rey bites at her lip, fingers tracing up his chest as a slight blush tinges her cheeks.

“Call it youthful naivety” she counters with coy look, flushing deeper when Ben’s gaze darkens and zones in on her lips. His thumb is quickly upon it, brushing along the rosy, plump skin with fascination.

“Call it what you will” he murmurs huskily, moving closer “you and I do it very well”.

Rey shivers as his forehead comes to rest against hers, those eyes of his still fixed on her mouth.

His thumb falls from her lips as his own mouth takes its place, kissing her slow and deep.

Rey smiles into his mouth as she kisses him back, teeth grazing the edge of his lip as her tongue plays against his. They continue like this for a few moments, each caress lazy and unhurried as they reacquaint themselves with the simple pleasure of  each other's lips.

And Rey is more than satisfied with this tame iteration of their physical relationship at least for tonight, the romance of the shared bath and just having Ben there with her, is the all she could wish for.

However, it seems Ben has other ideas and it is when his hand starts to slide down her chest and toward her sex, Rey fully realizes how little she wants to push things further that night. 

Ben stiffens and pulls back when he feels Rey take his hand from her lower abdomen, an uncomfortable look on her face as she avoids his eyes.

"Can we not....do  _ that  _ tonight, I'm just...." She trails off guiltily, seeing the visible disappointment flash in Ben’s eyes as she meets his befuddled expression.

“I’m just not...I’ve been really exhausted lately and I...”

Ben places one finger over her lips as he stops her embarrassed babbling and snaps himself out of his momentary frustration.

“It’s okay” he smiles sweetly “I can’t expect you to throw yourself at me every time I want you to”.

Gone is the disappointment from his face, replaced instead with a deep affection and understanding. The teasing inflection in his answer tells Rey he truly holds no discontent over the stoppage.

“You are allowed to say no Rey, you know that right” he adds sincerely, seeking her eyes. Rey blushes again, an awkward half smile forming.

“Yeah, I know” she answers quietly “I just wish we weren’t both stark naked at the time. Talk about rejection”

Ben lets out a surprised bark of laughter, his whole face breaking into the biggest smile she has ever seen on him. Dimples are deep welts in his cheeks as his smile more and more brightly. Ben continues laughing as he pulls her into his embrace, tucking her just under his chin.

“I love you. I hope you realize that”.

Rey relaxes against him, exhaling loudly as she wraps her arms around his  torso. Feeling slightly ridiculous even as she takes comfort in his warm, welcoming body. 

All that worry over nothing.

“I do and I love you too”.

Ben squeezes her tightly, delighting in the low purr she lets out as she rests against his breast. There is still an awkwardness in her manner, a need to brush passed this mortification as quickly as possible.

Kissing at her forehead an idea strikes him.

“How about I tell you one of my famed bedtime stories again?” Ben offers, catching her bright hazel eyes as they light up with glee.

“How about  Tyranus and Delilah?” Rey requests sweetly with an eager smile. Ben kisses the end of her nose as he smiles back at her tenderly, tracing the line of her spine under the water.

“It would be my pleasure” he answers with deep affection, heart thundering in his chest when she beams up at him. That same adoration shines through once more and Ben thanks whatever celestial power has gifted this woman to him.

Gods how he loves her. 

“Let us begin”.

* * *

After a while the bath begins to cool, the water tepid and murky from the soaking of their two bodies. Yet neither party is ready to leave the peaceful atmosphere of the fresher, knowing outside those double doors, lies a world and reality that seeks too much, too soon from them. Instead they empty and replenish the tub once more, until the water is a warm balm around their chilled skin. Their pruned fingers and toes are a forgotten inconvenience as they luxuriate in the lagoon like bathtub.

It is not long after this vital refreshment, Ben suggests he braid Rey’s freshly washed hair. Her wet locks already starting to mat and tangle.

Rey is oddly charmed by his suggestion of it, this latent skills no doubt perfected in childhood at the behest of his mother!

Ben’s hands are gentle but firm as they move nimbly through her damp, curling hair. Twisting and shaping each line until her locks lies in two delicate braids that flow from her temples to meet in a crisscross of plaits at the back of her head. The complex pattern snakes down her neck toward the centre of her back until not one hair is out of place.

Ben is less enthused when Rey then insists on repeating the style as much as possible in his raven mane, daring even so far as to add three tiny braids at the base of his beard for posterities sake.

“Are you about done yet” Ben grumbles as she yanks at his whiskers again. His skin smarting at the tight pull of the small band upon the root.

“Yes” Rey hums, pressing a kiss to his pouting lips before moving back to admire her work. Ben sighs heavily as she giggles at this ridiculous look, her mirth almost worth the ache in his face and scalp.

Running his hand over the twists and braids with dread, he regrets this idea already. His hair sure to curl uncontrollably once Rey removes the bands again.

“You look ever so fetching” Rey teases, shifting to the other side of the immense tub they find themselves in. Watching him with a playful expression even as Ben grunts unhappily, for there is still a glint of levity to be found in the warmth of his eyes. An enjoyment of her attentions even at the expensive of his pride.

“Yeah, yeah. Lap it up while you can” he threatens with a good-humored smirk “henceforth I am banning all beard braids”.

Rey’s smile widens to a cheeky grin, amused by his attempt at surliness. That flicker of challenge and boyish sportiveness not too far from the surface.

“Duly noted  Mr.Solo ” she answers coyly.

Ben shakes his  head at her but adds nothing further. Satisfied to return to his side of the tub and stretch his long legs out until they meet Rey’s in the middle. 

There is something so wonderfully domestic about it, sitting there in complete silence in the soothing light of the simple candles that adorn the room. The absence of conversation between them not an impediment to the easy, relaxed atmosphere, but instead a novel thrill. 

For Rey, it is almost exhilarating to sit and simply just watch Ben. To take in the micro expressions that flit across his handsome face as thoughts turn endlessly in his mind, those small twitches around his eyes and unconscious  split-second smiles a treasure trove to her memory. It is in the mere action of just  _ looking,  _ without the pressure or expectation of sex or any other exchange, she can really see him.

To  recognise the emotions that swim beneath the amber burnished glow of his eyes as he stares back at her guilelessly. For her to see, unequivocally, the depth of longing and adoration he holds for her.

Her awareness of him and the future that lies just outside their grasp makes her heart race. The thought striking her all at once, they may have many more nights like this if she and Finn are successful.

One week.

Rey will know in one week. It seems almost inconceivable after everything she has been through.

One week.

The thought of feeling him again through the Force sends a shiver of anticipation down her back. The future is not written, that is for certain, but with steps she has taken with Poe and Maz, the path seems clearer than it has in years.

Her mind wanders as her gaze glazes over, half remembered visions fighting their way to the surface. Her imagination and the memories of dreams passed, fill in the gaps in her fantasy. Forming a solid visualization of her heart's desire that causes her pulse to race.

It makes her curious.

“Ben” she begins with slight trepidation, not knowing why they have not had this conversation before.

It seems almost foolish.

Ben snaps to attention, soft eyes sharpening as he sits up  straighter .

“What did you see, when we touched hands in that stone hut all that time ago....what did you see?"

There is an unknown strain in her voice, a nervousness that betrays a much deeper truth.

Ben looks at her thoughtfully from the other end of the bath. His brow furrowing as his mouth sets in a serious  pout.

" I saw you and I standing together, killing Snoke in the throne room, you know that" he answers gently. Rey bites at her lip, chewing on the skin as she considers his reply.

"That's all?" She asks carefully, looking deeply into his eyes in search of something she is dejected to find absent.   
Ben studies her expression, a little thrown by the disappointment he finds there. 

"Yeah...." he begins hesitantly, before it suddenly  dawns on him what her insistence means "...did you ..... did you see something more?"

Reys cheeks flush a deeper red, a burst of vibrant  colour that has little to do with her balmy bath water.

"No....I. ..was just wondering" she stutters back, lying through her teeth. Ben's interest is immediately piqued, a sly smirk forming on his lips.

"Really?" He replies  skeptically, leaning forward and crowding her space despite the relative size of the tub.

Rey splashes him childishly in place of responding with speech, seeking to distract him and avoid giving an answer.

Ben chuckles as it wipes at his  face.

"Oh, you are  _ so  _ going to pay for that".

Rey squirms under his taunting hands when Ben launches forward and begins to mercilessly tickle her.

“Stop it ....stop it Ben” she wheezes through giggles, swatting at his hands until it all gets too much. Ben’s backside screeches across the porcelain as Rey send him sliding through the water and out of reach. The Force push given with little malice, but ever so effective at freeing her from his assault.

“Cheater” he grumbles even as he grins at her impishly. Rey sends him a look of triumph which is  unfortunately short lived when his eyes narrow in study once more.

“What?” she says without thinking, immediately wincing as she sees the  opening, she just given him into their prior conversation.

“You’re hiding something” Ben replies simply.

"I am not" Rey protests, crossing her hands over her chest defensively.

"Yes, you are" Ben replies boldly, cocking his head to the side as he regards her "your hiding something about that vision. I can see it in your eyes."

Rey pales at this, not having the energy or heart to lie to him at this point.

"Fine....I am" she mutters unhappily, letting her arms fall listlessly back into the water.

Ben sits forward, waiting for her continue but Rey remains silently staring at him. Expression impervious and eyes blank. After a long stretch of cloying hush, her taciturn mood starts to grate on his patience and Ben’s brow furrows with mild frustration.

“And...” he begins “what did you see?”

Rey licks at her lips, reluctant to speak but wary of  withholding things from Ben. It really wasn’t such a big deal, maybe a little embarrassing to admit, but nothing worth an argument over.

"When we touched hands...... I saw a house. A small, little cottage by a lake" Rey mumbles quietly.

Ben sits back a little, listening intently.

"We were there, you and I....in front of this cottage, standing side by side by the shore” Rey pauses, looking up at him with misty, hopeful eyes. Unable to stop the long denied, wistful, desire of this dream from seeping into her voice. The emotion rises within her without much warning, making her throat itch as it burns with growing anguish.

Because Gods how she wishes it could come true.

“We were holding hands, watching as the sunset behind the lake. But we weren’t alone”.

Ben’s brow rises in  surprise, but he does not interject. Rey’s expression clouds further as a lone tear forms in the corner of her eye.

“In your arms you held a toddler, dark haired and giggling at some silly face you’d pulled and I....” she pauses, her voice thick with some uncontrolled feeling she cannot quite name.

A form of melancholic hope that burns and rages within her.

“Strapped to my chest was a young baby, barely a month old but more beautiful than I could ever imagine.”

Ben's face softens, a look of wonder on his face. Whatever he had expected to come out of her mouth it had not been that. He had never dared hope of a future as beautiful as that, the chance to be loved and give love like that again. 

He had never deserved it.

Ben moves closer to her through the  water, shaking hands grasping hers as he fights to hold back his own welling emotions.

"Our children?" He asks in disbelief “you saw our children?”

Rey sniffles as she nods, freeing one of her hands to swipe at the tears.

“A glimpse of what could be” she answers quietly “one day.”

Ben cannot hold back his own tears anymore, face crumpling as he takes it all in. The thought of those two little souls breaking his heart with a new longing, for he could see their sweet, innocent faces in his  mind's eyes already.

Would they have their mothers smile?

Would they have his eyes?

It is all too much for him to hope it will ever come true. And yet he cannot help but yearn for it.

“You have to try with everything you’ve got Ben once we reach  Ahch -To, because that is the future you forfeit if you don’t” Rey whispers insistently, catching his forlorn face between her hands.

“I need you to fight, you understand me” she repeats thickly, wiping his tears away gently with her fingers “No matter what”.

Ben takes in a deep, uneven breath. Exhaling loudly as that same overwhelming desperation strains in his chest. He looks deeply into Rey’s eyes, placing his hands on her jaw and arching her face closer to his.

“I promise” he whispers back earnestly “with every cell in body I promise Rey.”

Kissing her tenderly and knowing their time was swiftly drawing to a close, he pours every unspoken and vital thing into that kiss.

“I promise ....on everything I am, I promise I will fight.”

* * *

The night is a clear but moonless one when Finn arrives on  Chandrila a week later. Ben is waiting alongside Rey when Finn’s small ship pulls in and docks close to the Falcon, the small spaceport at the base of her building affording them some small amount of privacy and security against prying eyes. 

The late hour means there’s little to no chance of Ben being spotted, but precautions have had to be made.

“Nice mask jackass” Finn laughs as he spots Ben in his disguise, a full bounty hunter costume complete with  Booush helmet. Rey bites at her lip as she tries not smile at Finn's comment, knowing just how much Ben hates this.

“ Thanks Buckethead, it was my mother’s” Ben replies snidely through the voice modulator, snatching Finn’s bag from his hand in a flurry of indignation. Finn blinks after him in shock as Ben stalks off toward the Falcon with loud, booming steps.

“ _ Buckethead _ , now I know he didn’t just call me Buckethead!” he exclaims huffily, looking at Rey with fury. She smirks in reply, linking her arm through his as she drags him forward.

“You started it, I told you not to mention the helmet. He’s very touchy about it.”

Finn pouts sulkily, knowing he’s lost this battle already. He had been warned.

“Fine, but if he says it again, I **_will_ **be kicking his ass”.

“Fine....I won’t stop you” Rey agrees with a conspiratory smile, handing him a generous portion of  Tonitran jerky to shut him up.

“Call me Buckethead!” he grumbles  as he stuffs handfuls of jerky into his mouth “ ..... _ him _ ....who wore a stupid mask  _ for years _ , because he thought it looked cool.”

Stamping up the boarding ramp, Finn is still complaining to himself as he chews on the dried meat.

“Ha! And I’m the Buckethead! If anyone is one...it’s him and....”

“Finn” Rey sighs tiredly, turning to him with a peevish look “please stop talking”.

“ But.. ” he starts to argue before Rey yanks the bag of jerky from him and stalks over toward to cockpit.

“Please can I have the jerky back...” he calls after her meekly, not even daring to follow her as he goes to sulk in the main hold.

Ben is already in the cockpit with Maz when Rey walks in, his helmet held carefully in his gloved hands.

“Hello dear” Maz greets her happily, handing her a fresh cup of  caf from her flask “no better way to start an adventure than with some caffeine.”

Rey takes the small cup gratefully, draining the hot liquid in one long swallow.

“Thank you, just what I needed” she says cheerfully, the buzz from the beverage already starting to thrum in her veins pleasantly.

The small woman simply nods in reply, grunting softly as she moves to her seat behind the Captain’s chair. Rey turns to Ben, about to admonish him for his rudeness but the words fade from her thoughts when she sees the strain in his face. The discomfort he feels as he sits quietly in the other passenger seat.

This will be the first time he has actively flown in the Falcon in decades and with the added tension of why he is here, it is an uneasy experience. 

Whatever reproach Rey had been prepared to unleash upon him  quickly dies in her throat as she is flooded with sympathy for him.

Running her hand over his hair, she looks down at him compassionately as his wide, uncertain gaze meets hers.

“Are you okay?”.

Ben gulps visibly but nods his head at her.

“I’m fine”.

He’s not, Rey knows he’s not, but there is no time now to fix it. 

If these are to be the last few hours  they have together for the rest of her life, she cannot waste them in debate and strife.

She knows she has been incredibly lucky with the time she has been given this week. 

Ben has been with her every day since the night of the storm, appearing at dusk and leaving at dawn like some nocturnal spectre. 

But time is running out, her hold on him is fraying again and she does not know what will happen if the Force pulls him away this time around.

She doesn't want to find out.

“Okay” Rey says quietly, squeezing his shoulder as she turns to the flight controls with a sigh. She flicks at the switches and returns to her seat to do the same at the main panel.

“Flight time will be three  galactic hours with the partial jump” she announces stiffly after a long silence “so I suggest you rest now if you need it”.

“In that case, I think I will settle these old bones into the first  mates' bunk.” Maz says warmly as she rises to her feet and leaves Ben and Rey in the nervous stillness of their thoughts. 

Rey sighs again as she flicks on the engines and sets to preparing the freighter to launch. Her hands grip at the edge of panel as a wave of apprehension washes over her. Panic setting in.

This is it.

There will be no turning back.

She tries to choke back the whimper that falls from her mouth, the feeling she _can’t do this_ immobilizes her.

Ben is suddenly behind the chair, turning her until she faces  him, and he can pull her into his chest in comfort.

His lips are warm and soft as he kisses her fiercely, capturing her face in his hands as he kisses her perhaps for the last time. Rey is breathless when he pulls back, eyes wide and dazed as she gazes up at him.

“Just something to remember me by” he whispers at her brazenly, a small note of sadness bleeding into the rich timbre of his voice. Rey’s smile is bittersweet as she touches his cheek tenderly.

“ Don’t be scared, you'll be okay” he adds gently, kissing at her palm “I know you can do this.”

“I’m terrified” she admits, t rembles violently even as Ben pulls her into his chest to hug her close.

“So am I. But I know you can do this” he urges quietly with absolute conviction "I believe in you".

Rey breathes shakily into his neck as she slowly starts to calm, her panic waning.

“I know” she says firmly with new determination. 

Tilting her face up, she takes a long look at Ben, memorizing every little part of him she can see. 

Those expressive eyes of his are watching her with that same look of acceptance and love he had given her on Exegol. Knowing in his heart they were saying goodbye.

Rey is just about to reach up and kiss him again, when a throat clears loudly behind them.

“It’s almost six Rey, we need to go” Finn says soberly as they both turn to face him. Ben reluctantly  lets go of Rey and ambles back toward his seat. Finn takes up his place in the co-pilot chair and sets to completing the preflight check as Rey’s face darkens. Mind set on the tasks ahead.

No one speaks for a long time after that. Quietly lost to their own thoughts as they drift slowly through the darkness of the Outer Rim. The Falcon’s hyperdrive sufficient only to accommodate this short, partial jump and nothing more.

But it is enough. 

Finn’s boredom quickly sets in as Rey takes over and masterfully keeps the ship cruising through the murky dark, wilds of space. There is no need for him right now, but his options for entertainment are fairly limited now.

“Jackass...” he says suddenly, twisting in his seat to face Ben with a haughty expression “do you happen to know how to play holochess?”

Ben frowns back at him, utterly bewildered by his question for a moment.

“Of course I do, don’t you” he growls back disdainfully, so thrown by Finn’s unspoken offer he immediately reacts defensively.

“Good” Finn huffs back, rising from his chair and striding off toward the main hold.

He stops by the edge of the corridor.

“You  coming Mr. Gloomy or what?” 

Ben blinks back at him again in  confusion but rises to his feet anyway.

“ Ehh ....sure”.

Rey is smiling to herself when Ben catches her amused expression.

“What?” he asks huffily. Rey shakes her head and just laughs lightly.

“Nothing....just go play nice.”

Ben harrumphs loudly and walks towards Finn with a scowl.

“And don’t whatever you do, call him Buckethead again” Rey calls after him with a joking but wary tone.

“Fine” Ben mutters back churlishly.

Reaching the other man, he gestures to the holochess pad with a  combative nod of his  head.

“Let’s get this over with.....” he pauses, jaw twisting as though there were a sour taste in his mouth as he spit out his name

“.... _ Finn _ ...."

He scowls deeper as he starts to speaks again.

"I don’t like to waste my time with traitors like you for too long”.

Finn narrows his eyes at him as he scoffs.

“Just shut up and play Jackass.”

* * *

The early dawn is just breaking on  Ahch -To, when the Falcon starts to descend into the planet’s atmosphere. The beginnings of another storm rumbles in the skies around them, shaking the freighter as they swoop lower and lower toward the main island. The crackle of lightening erupts through the clouds as they atempt to land  in the midst of these howling winds. The seas around the island churn and rise up in great waves that beat against the cliffs. White foam crashing onto the stone plateau and making the surface treacherous.

“Maker above....” Maz mutters ominously, staring out the cockpit window with wide eyes “the Gods are angry today”.

“Maybe we can find a way to appease them” Finn sighs glumly, nerves starting show.

The Falcon finally drops into place a few moments later, lilting here and there as the wind tries to batter it away. Rey looks around the cockpit haltingly as she  steady's herself to leave, her heart dropping as she sees Ben’s chair now bare and empty. The helmet and gloves he’d worn earlier in disguise, now carefully stacked upon the floor.

He is gone.

No trace of him within her mind or thread she can pull, to urge him closer.

She would only find him in the cave now.

Finn’s hand is warm and firm upon her shoulder as he drags her back to reality.

“You ready?” he asks her with trepidation, that same brotherly love for her shining through even as he dreads what is to come.

Rey hesitates and thinks about the vision she’d had here all those years ago.

She is so close and yet so far from reaching it even now , but she knows,deep in her heart she will give everything today to get it.

Pulling her eyes back up to Finn, there is a steeliness to voice when she speaks.

“Always”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about to go down.
> 
> What was your favourite part of this chapter? Personally I enjoyed adult bath time :)
> 
> New chapter will hopefully be done before end of month :)
> 
> Please bear in mind, I will be taking some artistic license with the World between Worlds....though I am aware of the canon version, I have my own plan for it so it will fit with the narrative. 
> 
> Lots of action is planned for chapter 16!
> 
> P.s....if anyone has any dawn, dusk or night related chapter title suggestions please send them on....I'm starting to run out of ideas!


	16. Erebus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rey begin their journey into the unknown. Finding Ben and something darker lurking in the shadows.
> 
> Warnings: short scenes of drowning and some bloody violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> So.....this chapter was completed faster than anticipated! The reason, I have decided to split what was meant to be one chapter on Ahch-To/ World Between Worlds into two! In the end it just made more sense and it means you get two chapters (hopefully) this month! The second part isn't done yet, but the outline is fully fleshed out so I know where I am going with it.
> 
> Part 2 will also be action packed and progressively darker.
> 
> Also, when I came up with this story and planned for Rey's journey to the WBW, I hadn't seen the canon version of the WBW.....therefore my own interpretation is quite different to fit with my narrative. It's less mystical and more a literal descent into hell.
> 
> I hope you like part one and I'll try have part 2 up before the end of the month.
> 
> Thank you for all the KUDOS and comments on the last chapter, as well as the chapter title suggestions ( especially ElleElle20 who inspired this title!).
> 
> See you all soon and please drop me a line if you liked the latest installment :)
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen

As soon as the trio leave the Falcon, speaking out in the open is made almost impossible by the sheer wall of sound that burst from the brewing hurricane. The overhead roar is akin to the force of an X-Wing taking flight, the booming bass deafening out there on the exposed plateau. Communication is quickly reliant on hand signals and over exaggerated gestures as they fight their way to the mouth of the cave.

Rey and Finn manage to stabilize themselves against the persistent drive of the gale, steadying each cautious step they take with the aid of the Force. However,  Maz is utterly dependent on them both to keep her grounded and safe, holding her fast as they battle across the bare rock and difficult terrain. Her small, aged body is sheltered between her friends, spared the worst of the morning's downpour as she hides under the thick material of Rey’s cloak. 

Finn’s warm hand a firm reassurance at her back, as he guides her forward in silence.

The furious hurricane builds a few miles offshore, as they stumble slowly in a rigid single file towards the southern tip of the island. The ground underfoot is now growing treacherously slippery from the unrelenting rain, small rivulets of water dissect the unforgiving terrain in swelling numbers. The flood of mud and water washing over their feet and ankles as it runs a course down the hillsides.

Cascading into larger streams which collect at one single point, just ahead of them. The broadening stream rushes on to disappear down into the dark and forbidding cave mouth Rey is marching them on towards with a singular determination.

Finn is immediately disheartened to realize as they grind to a halt; the cave mouth is nothing more than an ominous looking black hole in the unforgiving rock of the island. An ominous looking hole in which half the islands monthly freshwater seems to be rushing into at breakneck speed.

"Both of you know how to swim, right?" Rey manages to roar over the worst of the din. Looking between her companions anxiously as she shelters her face beneath the heavy hood of her robes.

Maz nods enthusiastically, while Finn looks stricken as he leans over the twisted rock of the cave and sees the inky waves below. The gushing noise of the falling rain water, adding little but apprehension to the proceedings.

Even from this considerable height, Finn can see the building storm has made the relatively sheltered pool dangerously choppy. The rushing, flint colored waves, crash in and out against the solid granite walls in loud, crackling blows.

"Sort of" he shouts back with a sheepish expression. 

Rey glares at him through the sheets of rain that pelts everything in its path.

"Sort of .... _ sort _ _ of _ ! And why did you not think to mention this before now?" She all but explodes at him.

"I thought we'd be paddling across a cave, not jumping 30 feet into a  kriffing raging pool" he argues loudly, glowering back at her.

_ Kark _ _ it. _

_ Kark _ _ it all. _

It is too late to turn back now or even waste time arguing.

" _ Maker _ " Rey growls loudly "just follow me and don't stop moving once you hit the water."

Before Finn can answer her, Rey steps forward and leaps through the sinister void in the ground. Her lithe body disappearing into the darkness before Finn can even blink.

He and  Maz lean over the edge frantically, exhaling in relief as Rey surfaces moments later and clambers her way onto the rocky shore with little trouble.

Maz gives Finn a brash smirk as she rises again, letting out a loud yowl as she leaps through the waiting mouth without a second thought. Her small body hits the water smoothly, posture pin straight as she slides below the waves and back up again with a visible grin of triumph. She is soon at the edge of the pool and pulled to safety by Rey. Her little orange head inclines up toward at him, looking at his face expectantly.

Finn stares down at them in horror, thinking to himself, this is  _ not  _ what he had signed up for!

_ Maker,  _ it is a long way down to that cave.

Rey is waving her hand at him impatiently, yelling something up at him he cannot quite understand.

His mind screams at him, a warning blare just to remind him how dangerous this drop truly is.

But he knows, he has to jump.

There is no other way in.

“ _ KARK IT _ ” he roars loudly in terror and fury as he steps over the edge and let himself fall into the sheer abyss. 

Finn’s limbs wheel uncontrollably as he plummets fast, hitting the water so hard all the air is forced from his lungs. 

Chest utterly winded by the impact. 

Finn wheezes in agony as he surfaces, great gulps of oxygen pulled painfully into his constricted rib cage as the shock passes. And pain overtakes every other thought in his head. His intercostal muscles ache as he forces the air in and out of his wounded body, torso feeling as though he’d just been trampled by  Happabore . The frigid temperature of the sea water is a minor concern to him in comparison to the pain flooding from his battered chest. 

But now is not the time for dawdling!

"Move Finn, go now.” Rey shouts at him urgently over the noise of the surging water, the order echoing around the cave until he snaps to attention. 

“You have to get across before the next wave hits".

Around him, the sound of the surging waves outside the cave, seem to drag him back to reality. And all at once he is stoked into action, swinging his arms through the water as fast as he can despite the pain. 

The thundering sound of the incoming tide rings in his ears as he finally grasps the danger, he’s put himself in.

It is only four broad strokes he needs to take before he reaches his friends, yet it seems a lifetime as his fear rises with the water.

Rey’s hand is cold but strong as it grabs his, yanking him out of the pool just as the sea crests behind him.

The wave that follows, propels what little floating debris it crosses, hard against the austere cavern wall.

Obliterating everything in its path.

"Thanks" Finn forces out breathlessly as he collapses onto his back in mild shock "that was close".

Shaken by the risk he’d just taken.

Rey smirks at him, letting out a small huff of amusement. 

"Yeah it was....so maybe next time you try jump, do it with your legs straight.”

She snorts loudly as the image of his ridiculous and uncoordinated fall flashes through her mind.

“Then you won’t flail like an idiot in the air!" She teases.

"Duly noted " Finn mutters back sullenly from the floor, rubbing his aching chest with tentative prods. The worst of the blow now thankfully seeming to be fade.

“Are you okay my boy, that was quite a belly flop”  Maz laughs gently, offering him her small, sinewy hand. He politely waves her away with his own, wanting to right himself under his own steam.

"I’m fine ..... Just give me a minute" Finn exhales loudly, pushing himself up into a seated position as his breathing starts to return to normal. He winces, hoping Rey will not be too disgruntled by the delay. His self-inflicted injury is a setback they could do without.

But Rey is paying him little attention anyway, her eyes set on the strange murky surface of the rock a few feet away from them.

"Is that it?"  Maz asks carefully, shifting the oversized  medi pack on her narrow shoulders as she comes to stand beside her. Tutting lowly in fascination as she walks closer to the cavern wall. 

Rey nods, her eyes never leaving the strange mirror like formation in the bedrock. An unknown mineral coating the stone and making it shine like glass.

"That's it" she affirms quietly.

"Not quite what I was expecting " Finn admits with a raised brow as he rises to stand by her other side.

" _ This _ _..... _ __ is the portal to the underworld"

"In a manner of speaking..." Rey answers with a resigned sigh, studying the sleet surface once more as it reflects her puzzled frown back to her.

"  ….. And it’s the World between Worlds..." Rey corrects, her hand rising tentatively to touch her mirrored self with a long, frustrated huff. The reflected image undisturbed by the brush of her fingers.

"Same  kriffing thing" Finn mutters back sorely, not in the mood to debate semantics. He turns from Rey to see  Maz staring up at the cave mouth in interest. Watching with wonder as the rainwater floods the island and flows through the cavity like a line of fire in the light of the exploding storm.

They are safe down here from the worst of the wind, the hurricane roaring above like murderous animal. Tearing through the sea and land with little mercy. At this depth, the menacing lightning that accompanies the tempest is nothing more than a series of pleasant illuminations against the cavern walls. Coupled with the rising dawn, it provides just enough light to offset the oppressive gloom of this subterranean grotto the friends find themselves in. 

Finn wants to get out of here as soon as possible, the churning sea driving closer and closer to their rocky shore with every swell. The whole atmosphere feels,  _ tense _ .

Like they are nothing more than lambs sent to the slaughter.

Waiting for that unseen but inevitable blade to swing and end it all in one silent, measured strike.

Turning his attention back to Rey, Finn notes she has not moved one inch. Her fingers still pressed to the glass wall as her face darkens in concentration.

"Any idea how to get in?" He asks wryly, already knowing the answer to this question even as he asks it.

Rey’s troubled eyes flick to his with a slow shake of her head as Finn inclines his head towards her hand in silent acknowledgement.

The wall remains unchanged by the press of her skin upon it, nothing divined by her efforts. No herald or sign of transformation so show they are getting closer to crossing this last barrier.

"No. ..not really " Rey confesses, chewing on her lower lip as her scowl deepens.

Things were never going to be that simple, were they.

“What did the texts tell you my love?”  Maz asks softly, pulling Rey’s hands from the unforgiving stone to squeeze them lightly in her own worn and ancient ones. 

“Think child, think of what you already know” she urges softly, old eyes closing as she encourages Rey to do the same.

Rey takes a deep breath and lets her troubled eyes close too after a moment. Face twisting and then gratefully relaxing, as her thoughts drifts deeper and deeper. Anxious mind quieting as she tries to remember. 

Finn can feel a prickling sensation on his skin as something shifts in the Force, an unseen weight lifting from all around them, as Rey’s power start to builds. The tendrils of her being, growing and finding fortitude where once she had found none.

A new light filling her to heal the parts within that fear and worry had cleaved open.

There is a soft gasp from Rey as everything clicks into place, her eyes seeking Finn’s as they snap open. Fixing him with a look of such determination and strength, he is certain, he has not seen such tenacity from her in years.

Letting go of  Maz , Rey throws off her heavy, wet cloak before affixing her  lightsaber and blaster tightly to her belt. 

She pauses for one halting moment; her eyes fall on a small black strip of fabric she has tied to the end of her sabre. A forgotten  momento that stokes something so profound within her, her throat growing thick as she lets her fingers run over it fondly

It is that same small length of fabric she’d torn from Ben’s shirt those many years ago, the day she’d buried what little she still had of him on  Tatooine . 

This small cotton band of dark material, faded but well-loved. 

It is insignificant to all, but precious to her soft, sentimental heart. This piece of him remains with her, real and true, even after all this time. 

Rey takes the cotton piece off the hilt and ties it to her wrist tightly with a kiss. Giving it her word to never stop fighting.

Finn can see Rey whisper something earnestly to the cloth on her skin, unable to hear whatever small vow she promises to it. But he can imagine what it could be.

Raising her eyes to Finn again, Rey looks resolute.

“We have to break it, both of us”

Finn’s dark eyebrows shoot up toward his hairline in surprise, but he repeats those simple actions Rey had started before. Removing his burdensome cloak and securing his weapon by his hip without a word.

He knows, he is preparing himself for battle.

Readying himself for what may be a fight to the death.

“We have to break it” Rey repeats “together”.

* * *

Finn and Rey stand side by side, their postures tense as they stare at their dour reflections in the dark mirror.  Maz stands a few feet away, crouched by the only dry, scalable outcrop of steady rock in the whole antechamber. 

Ready to clamber to safety if the cave starts to flood.

"Are you ready?" Rey says to Finn bleakly, unable to look at him in the eye as a cold fear starts to bristle at the back of her neck. Heart rate rising the longer she stands there in anticipation.

“No.....but there’s no point in turning back now” Finn replies sardonically, reaching for her hand as he gives her a reassuring smile through the mirror. 

“We’ll be okay” he adds after a beat, squeezing her palm as Rey returns his smile with a small, blank quirk of her lip. The pull of related muscles, the closest her tense body will allow to a smile. 

Given the circumstance.

“ Maz ” she calls to their dearest friend “it’s time, start climbing”.

The old woman mutters something kindly back at her in reply, but Rey is too distracted to notice. Her mind focused on taking slow, deep breathes and letting the Force wash over her in steady, calming waves.

Tightening her grip on Finn’s warm, wide hand, Rey pushes down her growing terror, her nerves completely fraying to breakpoint.

“Put your hand on the rock” Rey instructs Finn after a long moment, his eyes widening even as he slowly lifts his hand as requested. The rock is oddly warm against his skin, vibrating softly under his fingertips as though a  low current flows weakly through the slate. Breaking through the solid wall of rock to crackle deeply into his nerves. Synapses abuzz with an energy that travels gently around his body.

Rey quickly follows her own orders, placing her left hand on the stonework close to Finn with a shuddering, anxious breath.

“Close your eyes and let the Force move through you”

Rey’s eyelids slide shut as she pauses, the slow release of the breath from her lungs centering her completely.

“Let it push upon you from the space beyond our skin. In that space behind the living world...”

Rey’s face relaxes as she drifts further and further into a meditative trance.

“Find something in that place to anchor yourself to and follow my lead. You’ll know when you feel it.”

Finn nods at his friend, taking a long, trembling breath of his own as he forces his eyes closed. Willing his terror to abate.

This is it.

This the point no return.

Finn tries not to whimper, tries to let his mind clear......but he keeps seeing Rose’s face.

Keeps thinking of his unborn child growing in her belly.

He cannot let his sweet, precious baby grow up without a father. 

_ Not like him. _

He has to make it back.

Sensing his despair, Rey squeezes his other hand in attempt to comfort him, even as her own hand starts to shake in his.

“Don’t be afraid, we’ll get through this.”

Finn gulps, finding his own trembling voice.

“Just don’t let go of me...whatever you do ....don’t let go Rey.”

“I promise I won’t” she replies earnestly, and Finn begins to feel the tendrils of her power unwind itself out. Extending quickly from her inner core until it spreads down her arms like a warm salve.

She ties herself to Finn, while the rest of her energy reaches into the dark  centre of the barrier in front of them. Fighting past its resistance until Finn cannot feel where it and her influence begins.

He does as she instructed and lets the Force surge through him, reaching, as Rey had, for that place behind the boundary of this world. 

Then, he senses it.

That pressure  centre , that breaking point.

A strain forming there as their energy feeds off itself, growing wilder with each passing moment. 

Rey smiles as she feels Finn’s presence join hers, latching hard onto the cracks and imperfections that form in gate’s defenses.

Their thoughts are a shared impulse through the connection of their hands and all at once they start to pull and tear. 

To prize the doors open, just a crack, searching deeper.

_ Until _ .

The levee breaks.

And with it, comes the flood.

* * *

At first there is just a sheer,  _ boom,  _ and explosion of energy _. _

The weight of the water a bone crushing mass of power, as it strikes Rey in the chest, the blow almost knocking her and Finn apart as they are sent tumbling through the darkness.

But the terrified binding of their hands holds, their grip clenching harder as they pull themselves closer.

They cling to each other desperately as they sink further down under the deluge of water, willing the disorientating, twisting thrust of it to slow. 

However, even as the nausea inducing spinning of their body's lulls, Rey’s problems are only just beginning.

Her head aches when her eyes finally open and she sees the empty void of nothingness that lies above and below her. The pressure upon her body being this far underwater, makes itself known almost immediately as her sinuses start to throb in protest.

She will not be able to withstand this compression for very long, spots beginning to flash in her vision as her chest constricts

But there is a source light above them, there, just at the very limit of her sight. 

This faint glimmer of life.

The dim shine of it is obscured by  metres and metres of murky, frigid water, but it is there. 

Clear as a new day.

A way out.

But just as her terror passes momentarily, Finn’s is only just starting. The heavy pressure and sensation of drowning making him irrational.

He starts to thrash ineffectually beside her, breaking the contact of their hands as instinct and evolutionary fear start to kick in.

He screams out in silent, bubbling burst of air as he panics. Searching for something, anything to help him reach the surface. 

Rey grabs him, forcing his face between her hand as she speaks directly into his mind. Urging him not to overreact. Sending waves of comfort to ease his frenzy and calm his mind.

_ <Stop> _

_ <You’ll kill yourself like that> _

_ <Just calm down.> _

_ <Take my hand and don’t let go.> _

She grips at his fingers, promising she will guide him out. 

Finn nods at her, face twisting in solemn acceptance as her manipulations of the Force subdues him.

Pulling at his shoulder, Rey calmly starts to urge him upwards before something in the water catches her attention. 

A dark shadow drifting aimlessly through the space beside them, no more than twenty feet away.

Rey’s heart stops as she realizes it’s a body.

A male body, floating listlessly as his head lilts forward.

_ Ben _ !

Rey almost cries out when she realizes it’s him.

_ She’s found Ben. _

Rey starts to swim to him in rapid, uncoordinated strokes, dragging Finn with her until he is forced to let go and continue moving upwards alone.

Rey is heedless to the danger and desperate to get to the lifeless form of him, even as her lungs start to burn for air.

Finn quickly follows Rey when he spots her jerky, frantic movements out of the corner of his eye, seeing as she does, what lies below him. His blood runs cold as he recognizes the motionless man in black.

Rey cups Ben cheek as soon as she reaches him, seeing no flicker of reaction in his face as she tries to coax him into movement. She shakes at his shoulders more forcefully when her gentle touches do nothing to rouse him.

Ben's head flops forward passively as she tries to rattle him harder.

He is not conscious, his eyes screwed closed as though at rest. Small, slow moving bubbles escape from his half open mouth as the last of his air seems to gurgle from his chest.

Finn soon arrives by her side, looking at Rey gravely when he notices Ben’s condition.

They need to get to the surface.

Now.

Without anything more than a shared look, Finn and Rey each grab one of Ben’s arms and haul him towards the light above them. Kicking their legs as hard as they can as their free arms pull through the wall of water with everything they’ve got. Energy waning as Rey’s lungs start to run out of air.

But, it is just enough.

That last little push upwards is bolstered by the Force as it throws them upwards into the air, crashing them back into the shallower waters near the shore.

Breaking through to the surface is a sheer ecstasy. The rush of oxygen into Reys lungs is a welcome salve to the burning pressure in her chest. Finn coughs hard beside her as he pulls great gulping mouthfuls of air into his abused lungs.

The sea water is placid and still around them, making the final few strokes to the rocky bank a relatively simple journey. Tired arms having just enough reserves to finish the task without the resistance of oncoming waves. 

Pulling Ben’s comatose body up the rocky shoreline,  _ however _ , proves to be a much harder task. Even with Finn and Rey straining with all the efforts they have left, it takes them a wearing number of failed attempts to pull him to safety.

“ _ Maker.... _ why does your boyfriend have to be so  kriffing big” Finn chokes out, the muscles in his arms at full capacity as they finally roll Ben onto the small outcrop. Using the Force to move him had proven almost impossible without one of them being left alone in the water to keep him afloat.

A feat which in of itself, is beyond either of their current capabilities.

As Finn had intimated,  Ben was just too damn heavy!

“Blame his mother, she fed him too much” Rey snaps back wearily, collapsing onto the utterly anesthetized Ben’s chest with little grace. Fatigue robbing her of any sense of worry at hurting him.

Finn drops heavily onto the cold slate the other side of her, closing his eyes as he tries to recover from their ordeal. He sighs deeply as he rolls onto his back and makes no attempts to speak further. Needing a moment to himself, of which, Rey is more than happy to give .

Her whole being instead takes pleasure in the warmth she receives from Ben as he lies below her. The welcoming heat of his flushed skin radiates even through the many layers of his drenched clothes, to thaw Rey’s chilled bones as  it envelopes her. The numbing cold of the empty, barren cavern affects her little as she absorbs Ben’s body heat, even as her own sodden robes cling uncomfortably to every swath of her damp skin. 

Rey is relieved to hear the reassuring and familiar thud of his strong heart as her head rests near his sternum. The quiet hum of the Force curls around him as they lay there, scattering from every cell of his body in mounting waves, and Rey can feel him,  _ there _ . 

Really there.

Inside her head and in her depth of her heart, present for the first time in years.

There is pounding of life through the remnants of their bond, flowing like the blood in her veins.

Joy blooms in her chest, thoughts racing.

_ He's alive, I found him. _

Her budding glee, however, is instantly thrown off course when she raises her head to see Ben still isn't regaining consciousness. 

His huge chest rises and falls in an irregular pattern below her hands, as his breathing softly returns to a normal rhythm.

But his eyes remain unflinchingly closed as his jaw lies slack against his shoulder.

“Ben?” Rey calls to him uneasily, her concern growing when she gets no response.

"Ben?" she chances again, patting his cheek with her hand.

Nothing.

A new dread grips her heart, sending her scrambling up his body to brush the thick matt of his dark hair away from his brow.

Her hazel eyes are sharp as she searches his head and chest for injury. Scouring for any sign of concussion that will solve the mystery of his stupor.

But she finds no blood or wounds, no contusion to his skull that would keep him benumbed like this.

And yet.

Rey cannot wake him.

Examining him further, she finds two broken on his right side. Ben jerking away from her and groaning mournfully as she presses gently upon the darkly purple bruising. His right ankle is also terribly twisted, badly swollen by the bone as another mottled bruise of wine blooms on his skin.

Rey suspects by the angle of it, the ankle may be broken.

Utter useless if they are to escape on foot.

_ What the hell had happened to him. _

Ben looks as though he has been beaten to within an inch of his life, and Rey is keen to understand how and why.

She moves closer, brushing away the remainder of his thick, wet hair from his face. Pondering his condition deeply.

But as she does this, clearing his features from the veil of those lock, all at once she understands. 

Her breath puffs out in a quick exhale of surprise when she finally registers the image in front of her. Ben's handsome face is marred all over by cuts and bruises. The dark beard and thick whiskers she had affectionately run her fingers over only hours before, are starkly absent on his pale skin.

Rey realizes with a start, this is not the same man she bid farewell to on Falcon, but the Ben that had given up his life for her on  Exegol . 

That same vision of him she had found on  Naboo six weeks ago.

Frozen in stasis after 3 years.

Rey cannot help the pang of disappointment that fills for her a moment, because while there is no doubt the man between her hands  _ is  _ Ben Solo, he is not  _ her  _ Ben Solo. 

The Ben Solo she had spent the last few weeks falling deeper and deeper in love with. The same Ben Solo that told her bedtime stories under the beautiful summer night skies of  Naboo, the man  she had challenged to intensely competitive games of  holochess with on the Falcon. 

He is not the same Ben she had battled through the jungles of Dagobah to save.

The one she  had desperately whispered  _ ‘I love you’ _ to as he filled her with all the life and love she could ever hope to feel.

This is not  _ her  _ Ben.

Not if he doesn’t remember.

"Come on  Cyar’ika ....please just wake up" she whispers despairingly against his ear, hoping she is wrong. Hoping the  man she loves so ardently still exists, somewhere, deep down inside of him.

She shakes his shoulders again more forcefully, but Ben does not stir, does not react in anyway.

Behind her, Finn seems to grunt wearily, a new revelation dawning upon him as he finally opens his eyes to the darkening skies.

“We're still in the  kriffing cave” he says sourly, sitting up with a scowl.

“But...it’s....different.” he then adds with a confused tone to his voice.

Looking at Finn, Rey starts to register the same observation as her puzzled gaze rises to the cave mouth above them. The likeness of the barren space is uncanny and yet, the image seems oddly reversed.

Like looking in a mirror.

The sky above is calm and cloudless, with no storm to rage and obstruct the stars that start to peek through. The dark red of a fading dusk shines down upon them as the darkness of the night begins to fall over the island.

They are still somehow in the same, dour cave of before, but they are no longer in the world they had once known. 

“We’ve crossed over” Rey replies solemnly, meeting Finn’s scowl with a frown of her own.

“How can you be so sure?” he replies with a confused cock of his head, shifting closer as she turns her attention back to the motionless Ben.

“I can’t sense  Maz ..... anywhere.....we’re not on  Ahch -To anymore” she answers bleakly, pushing against Ben’s ribs in a cruel attempt to revive him. She feels incredibly guilty for using his pain like  this, forcing him back to reality with such torture, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

A low groan of agony escapes Ben's mouth as she presses harder, his head and chest shifting slightly under her hands as he reacts feebly to the tormenting stimulus.

Rey’s eyes snap back to his contorting face, a big shuddering breath of anticipation falling from her lips as she waits. Ben grunts  again,but shows no further signs of coming round. 

Lost once more to the veil of unconsciousness in which he seems to be condemned to remain.

Rey growls audibly as she covers her face with her hands in frustration. Not knowing what else to do.   
Finn is soon at her side, shaking Ben's shoulder half-heartedly as he looks at Rey with a sigh of trepidation. 

Their options are quickly starting to run out.

" Kark it, we can't move him like this" she mutters out unhappily. 

"We need to find a way to wake him"

The late evening light is beginning to fail in the large cavern, the darkness of the night closing in faster than is natural, until, all they can see in that hole is an inky blackness. 

There is a low hum of muted malevolence in the stale air of that sullen place, an ancient echo of something stirring in the shadow of the night.

Lighting his sabre, Finns features are tight and concerned in the glow of the violet beam. 

"I'm starting to have a  _ really bad _ feeling about this" he whispers hurriedly.

"We need to get out of here ..... right now!”

_ "How right you are, my young friend"  _ an unseen presence laughs, chilling Rey’s blood in an instant. 

She knows that awful voice.

Her heart leaps into her throat as her panicked eyes scours the gloom. Her hand reaching for her weapon as the sound of approaching footsteps slap against the stone.

At the far edge of the rocky shore, a red, crackling sabre ignites. Two angry blades snapping apart to form a lethal staff of fire. In the bleeding light of the weapon, the pallid face of her dark twin appears from behind an obsidian hood. Smiling at them wickedly as the temperature in the cavern drops to a biting sting.

Both Rey and Finn are already painfully cold from their sodden clothes and the arctic water of the pool, but with this new wintry terror, their wet bodies shiver as the raw chill sinks into their bones.

Finn is quickly to his feet as the  creature m oves closer, buzzing blade held aloft in warning as he stands between his friends and the menacing wraith. 

"I'm giving you one chance, just one, to turn around.... and crawl back into whatever hell hole of a lair you dragged your sorry  ass from ..... or.... you and I are going to have a very big problem" he threatens in a low voice, his dark eyes glaring at the new intruder with contempt.

The dark twin grins wider, a short burst of mocking laughing twisting her features further.

" _ How sweet you are young one, and such misguided confidence! To believe, YOU, can beat ME _ ."

Finn shifts his posture, adjusting the grip on his sabre as his anger flares.

“Pride comes before fall...maybe you’re the one who’s misguided”.

The dark phantom smiles again at him, the distorted double of Rey’s face twisting further before disappearing into the gloom. The glow of her crimson, crackling blade suddenly dims until  nothing but the dark of the night remains in the space it occupies.

However, the phantom is far from gone.

Rey can still feel her moving across the blunt surface of the stone, circling  their party like a ravenous  Loth-wolf . Waiting for her opportunity to strike.

_ "Lay down your weapon and no harm will come to you my brave child, this quarrel does not lie with you"  _ the  spectre promises, rasping voice rising from the shadows.

"I'm not going anywhere." Finn replies firmly, his voice low. 

His keen eyes search the murky view ahead for any sign of their adversary, seeing nothing but the black shadow of the rock.

Another taunting laughs echoes in response, the rapid, warning rake of talon down his chest telling him this demon is more than ready to cut him down.

Swiping around on instinct, his buzzing sabre hits nothing but air.

Finn is about to challenge the jeering, heinous creature once more, when  Rey's small hand is suddenly pressing insistently upon his shoulder. 

Demanding his attention. 

Her face is set in a look of resignation as she stares back at him, the light from Finn’s sabre highlighting the desperation hidden in her eyes.

"Stand down Finn, this battle isn’t yours to fight" she says fiercely, guiding his sabre gently down from its defensive position.

" It's mine".

Looking out towards the inky black space in front of them, Rey grips her own slim weapon in her hand. Watching as the very air around their unseen tormentor fluctuates within Force, draining the very energy around it in like the maw of a black hole.

Igniting her own golden blade, Rey gazes back at Finn with somber acceptance.

“Take care of Ben....Please” she begs, her posture relaxing a little when Finn nods solemnly in reply.

She gives him one last look of affection, pausing for one long moment before rushing at the darkness with a roar. The sound loud and feral as it echoes around the cavernous chamber.

Finn can do nothing but watch her leave, the light of her sabre like a beacon in the dark as her bellows grow fainter. But it is not long before the bleeding red of the phantom’s sabre comes screaming out of the shadows behind her. Blades hissing as they clash forcefully in the midst of that gloom.

Rey’s dark twin grins at her maliciously.

“ _ My friend, how wonderful it is to see you _ ”

Those sharp teeth of hers gnash at Rey in the sick mimicry of playfulness as their crossed blades draw them closer. The clashing  sabres spark loudly in the oppressive silence of the night, the molten embers bouncing off the surrounding stone like raindrops against a canvas. Illuminating the ever-changing position of their feet as they fight for dominance.

“I can’t say I feel the same way” Rey spits back bitterly, shifting her position so abruptly, it catches the dark ghoul off-guard before she lets loose with a brutal combination of strikes. 

Each arch and swing of that fiery weapon is a killing blow by itself, as it erupts against her opponent's desperate parry's.

The creature screams in anger and frustration as Rey’s weapon glances off her shoulder, powerful strike only just missing her ducking head. She snarls as all  humour vanishes from her sickly face. Counter strike vicious as she draws on the dark side of the Force, absorbing every blow Rey gives her as her own power builds.

Finn is morbidly entranced as he watches the duel helplessly at the other end of the small plateau. Seeing as it rapidly progresses and all at once, turns on its head. For though Rey is fast and lethal with a lightsaber, he is horrified to realize, the  spectre is faster. 

And more importantly, she does not tire.

Finn cannot help but cry out when the deathly creature gains the upper hand and drives Rey back as it switches from defense to attack. Its strikes growing stronger and harder to counter with each arch of the fiery blade. The force of its advance tiring Rey with every blow.

The long weeks of exhaustion Rey has suffered, are a telling drain on her endurance. 

Rey fights as hard as she can, striking fast and true with every opportunity she gets, but her twin is just  too strong.

She stumbles over onto her back as the force of the latest uppercut destabilizes her. The red blade of the creature glances off the side of her face painfully as she falls, ripping open the skin. 

Rey throws the advancing, snarling  spectre back with a surprising push of the Force, unbalancing her attacker long enough for Rey to get back to her feet and raise her sabre. Her other hand pressed to her now freely bleeding cheek with a wince. The wound hasn’t  catharized somehow , flesh wet and open as fresh blood flows down her jaw.

Finn moves to help her, his own violet blade raised to launch another assault in her stead. But Rey pushes him back, hand on his chest.

“No” she hisses breathlessly through her gritted teeth “Stay with Ben”.

“But...” Finn argues, eyes desperate as he takes in her beaten, bleeding form.

“Stay with Ben” Rey insists, pushing him back once more before facing her ominous foe with a growl.

Finn thinks about arguing against this, but instead silently steps back toward the supine form of Ben with a growing fear.

The creature just watches Rey for a moment, her snarl fading as a mocking, stomach churning grin replaces it. Laughing haughtily to herself as she seems to wait for Rey to catch her breath. Wanting to prolong this misery for as long as she can.

" _ Just give in _ " her doppelganger urges with a hiss " _ accept what you truly are. There is no need for all this violence _ ".

Tears spring at the corners of Rey’s eyes as a despairing realization grows within her, she will not win this fight  in her current state. Her body aches, limbs heavy and worn to end of their capacity. Her sabre is like a deadweight in her hand, hot and like sandpaper on her skin.

In her heart she knows, she may not survive another attack like that.

But she won't give in.

"Never" Rey spits  back, launching herself at the dark woman once more with a furious rage.

Their sabre clash again so quickly, fueled by something darker and fiercer than any human mind could fathom. 

Each movement is so precise and deadly, Finn cannot keep track of every switch and arch their bodies make as they move in this fatal dance to the death.

He knows he cannot intervene, if he steps one foot away from the still motionless Ben, Rey will murder him herself. But that doesn't mean he’s going to do nothing. 

Deactivating his sabre, Finn kneels by Ben  again, tapping at his face frantically. 

"Come on Solo, just give me a sign you're in there. I need your help”

The other man doesn't budge, no flicker in his features to show he has heard even a fraction of Finn’s plea.

The surge of adrenaline and fury that had fueled Rey’s latest assault is quickly waning now, lactic acid building in her thighs and biceps as her body screams at her to stop. But she cannot stop, cannot cede even a backward step. 

Sweat is pouring from her brow, her breath  laboured and tight. And yet, only death will stop the swinging of her sabre. The drive to protect Finn and Ben so overwhelming, the pain does not matter.

Shaking Ben's big shoulders, Finn is becoming increasingly desperate. Even in this murky, darkness he can see Rey's condition is deteriorating fast, her exhausted body making her sabre counter strikes slow and  labored . Each jab easily read.

She goes to thrust her blade forward, but the dark side warrior knocks her sabre from her hand. The hilt flying through the air to land by Ben's feet. 

Rushing forth in an instant, the creature seizes Rey by the throat and holds her aloft.

Finns blood runs cold when he sees his friend begin to froth from the  mouth, the sound of her gurgling throat, pulling his attention away from Ben. 

Maker, they are running out of time.

In his panic, Finn wallops Ben across the face, but the blow does nothing to bring the man around. 

“Kark it, Ben wake up. You have to wake up!” he all but screams.

Rey feels cold, her consciousness waning as the grip of her dark twin holds her tightly. 

There is a sickening drop in her gut as the darkness rakes its talons down her back. Its malevolent energy surrounding her. 

“ _ My child, _ _ do not fight it. This is  _ _ your,  _ **_ destiny _ ** **** !” 

“No” Rey chokes out.

The hand at her throat presses harder as it squeezes the air from her wind wipe. Crushing and choking the life from her. 

“ _ Do not resist it Rey, do not fight what you know is yours to take _ ”  .

.....

On the other side of the rocky shore, Finn is growing hysterical. He  must intervene, he wants to intervene, but he  has to give Ben one last shot. 

There is no way he can defeat that ferocious demon alone.

Gripping the sides of Ben's head, Finn tries the only thing he can think. Conscious what he is about to attempt is deeply invasive and risky at best. But he has to try, it is his last resort.

Dipping into Ben's mind, Finn tears through his defenses and grips to the edge of his dormant consciousness. Finding the pressure point he needs.

Rey kicks out at the unfeeling phantom as her vision starts to fade, meeting nothing but air even as she scrabbles at the hand that hold her.

The creature cackles, releasing her throat and tossing her down into a depth-less sea. 

_ “One day, my child. One day you will thank me”.  _

As soon as Rey surfaces, the dark phantom pushes her head under the water again. The sheer weight of the creatures body and might of the dark side, forces down and under the freezing surface.

Pining her to steal the space in her lungs. 

She is too weak to fight it.

Her failing mind calls out, willing him to listen.

_ Ben _ .

…..

** Wake up. **

The phrase is like an electric shock through the Force, sending a bolt of energy from Finn's body into deep Ben’s mind. It pulses like an electrical surge, before fading just as quick.

When Ben does not move, or even twitch, Finn repeats the shock of energy again.

** Wake up. **

Hitting then a third time as the motion builds.

Finn can feel with each new attempt, a vibration of pent up energy forming in Bens body. This power of his filling to burst as it thrums through his nerves. The Force is sparking around him now as the full weight of his immense strength waits, just behind the veil of his inertia. 

“Come on you big oaf, wake up!” Finn growls desperately, sensing Rey's own consciousness starting to fade. 

Finn presses harder, tearing into Ben's heads with little mercy.

“Wake up, for the love of the Maker....wake up" he shouts, pushing the thought into Ben's head “wake up now or she’s going to  _ kriffing _ __ die!”

** Wake up. **

** Wake up **

_ Rey _

There is a deep gasping breath, and Ben's eyes fly open.

* * *

The force upon Rey’s head suddenly lifts and she is instantly hauled from the water by two strong arms. She gasps as her head clears and the oxygen rushes through to her lungs.All she can hear is a hushed _'you're okay, you're okay'_ as her senses coming back to her one by one. 

Her rescuer is soon lifting her from the cold, wet floor and carrying her like a small child as he rushes across the hard, rocky terrain.

Finally opening her eyes, Rey looks up to see Finn’s dark face distorted by panic. Confusion fills her for a moment, until, she sees him. Her heart stopping in joy and terror all at once.

_ Ben _ .

Propped up against a boulder just ahead, arm outstretched as he holds the phantom at bay. Her twisting, snarling form is pinned to the far cavern wall as he strains to maintain his grip on her. Ben's face is flushed and covered in sweat as he tries with all his might to give them time, his injuries and the creatures power quickly draining his energy.

“Run” he grinds out painfully, looking up at Rey despondently.

“Run dammit”.

“No” Rey spits back from Finn’s arms.

“No I won't"

Reaching down to her belt, she snatches her blaster and lets off a barrage of shots before Ben can stop her.

The boom of the impact reverberates around the cave as a hail of stone tumbles to the floor below. 

There is nothing but scorch marks when the smoke clears, the shape of the taunting  spectre burnt onto the granite rock face like a permanent shadow.

The wraith is gone, but it’s not over, not by a long shot.

“We are not leaving anyone behind” Rey hisses at Ben, the beginning of tears falling from her eyes as she forces Finn to put her down. Crawling to Ben’s battered body, she holds his face between her hand.

“ So, don’t you dare think about being a hero, you hear me”.

Ben’s morose expression breaks as a relieved smirk pulls at his lips.

“I hear you” he whispers back, reaching to run his thumb down her bruised throat. Concern flashing in those expressive eyes.

Rey's frown softens as she looks at him, so  kriffing glad to see him, it makes her chest hurt.

That feeling of completeness filling her as the Force flows like water between them. His thoughts and hers becoming one as they sit there in the stillness of the post battle, that bond they had lost bursting into life.

It’s intoxicating.

Rey thinks about kissing him, so overcome by the sheer  exhilaration of having him there with her again she cannot hold it inside.There is a difference in feeling of his skin against hers, a realness and warmth to it, that wasn't there before. 

She wonders if it will feel unusual now, but perhaps better, rawer, to press her lips to his. But with the awkward clearing of Finn's throat behind them, this amorous impulse is quickly put to an end.

“I know this is a touching moment and all,  but we still need to get out of here” he says sternly, his hands on his hips for emphasis.

Ben sighs unhappily, letting his hand drop from Rey and shifting forward as though to stand.

“That thing won’t take long to recover” he says gravely, taking Rey’s proffered hand as she helps him up. His face contorts as he grits his teeth against the pain, resting his weight on Rey’s shoulder as his ankle gives away.

“The only way out, is through that portal.” he adds, head gesturing to the smooth, glassy surface of the caves twin mirror. The same strange mirror they had broken through to get here.

“Where does it go?” Finn asks skeptically, moving to take the strain off Rey’s narrow shoulders and support Ben flagging body with his own broader frame.

Ben sighs again.

“I don’t know, but I guess we’ll have to find out” he says bleakly as the sound of stilted, stalking movement starts to come from the shadows again. 

A new iteration of the dark, rising from the unending pitch black of the cave.

“I guess we will” Rey mumbles back, visibly gulping as she shares a look with Ben.

“Come on” Finn stutters anxiously, pulling Ben forward hurriedly.

They all approach the mirror with slight trepidation, swallowing their pride and fear to step forward into the unknown.

They are wary of what horrors await them on the other side, but know it is better to go than take there chances with the monster rising here.. 

One thing remains a certainty.

They will never give up the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2:
> 
> Things go from bad to worse. Difficult choices are made and the dark's true intentions are revealed.


	17. Nyx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey through the World Between World's continues as Rey and Ben get reacquainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> And welcome to part two of three of Reylo's (+Finn) quest through the World Between Worlds.  
> As with all of my best intentions, the story took a new route as I felt given the emotional impact of Rey finally finding Ben, as well as the complications of that, the story needed to give them a moment of....return so to speak and time to process.
> 
> It's angsty, but sweet (or so I aimed it to be).
> 
> Part 3 should be done by the end of next week and will be another action packed conclusion to this section of the fic. Be warned, le shit is about to hit le fan!
> 
> Thank you all for you kudos and kind comments as ever. It's an honour to receive them and definitely encourages me to finish this grand adventure.
> 
> P.s - sorry for the reupload, I did some heavy editing today as i wasn't happy with the first update :)
> 
> Stay safe out there everyone and see you all soon.
> 
> -RedCatRen

Stepping through the main body of the portal is akin to moving through a thick fog, as the  permeable glaze of the mirror gives way. An unearthly mass of condensed liquid moves over them, coating Rey, Finn and Ben in a thin layer of mist that slides down their bodies.

Clinging to their supple skin like a layer of protection.

Yet it is not like water, this ethereal shroud they push through, but the viscous texture of honey. Thick and sticky as tar as it oozes its way through every pore, wicking all the moisture away from their hair and clothing until the companions are bone dry beneath the baptismal flux. 

The transition through is but a handful of milliseconds, yet the change is felt. 

And for one stupefying beat of the human heart, this syrupy, unseen haze is in every part of their being. Fusing with the very cells of each body as it invades like a virus upon its helpless host.

This  benevolent symbiont engulfs them whole. Consuming every part until all at once , the living mass seems to disappear without a trace as their feet touched down. Landing unsurely on the solid, smooth surface of a hallowed ground. 

The passage to the other side is completed with little damage or effect in the end./span>

Where nothing but the altered, dry state of their clothing remains to prove the experience.

Not that this unsettling conundrum grips the friends in any case. For there is an immediate awe that overcomes all else as their eyes refocus, attention taken up by the sight of that unearthly realm they find themselves in.

All those small lingering fears that had gripped Rey’s breast at the thought of this adventure into the unknown, are all momentarily forgotten. Shrunk to insignificance when faced with this new plane of existence.

Looking between Ben and Finn, Rey/span> finds them both agog , struck down as speechless as she as they stare unblinkingly at the magnificence  around them. 

"Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing? Because if not, I'm pretty sure I'm still drowning.....or at least dead" Finn mumbles dryly, his voice high and slightly breathless.

"No , I see it" Rey  whispers back hoarsely , visibly  shaken.

The chamber in which they stand, if they could even call it a chamber at all, is a vast, empty darkness. A place of such proportions, it sprawls beyond the capacity of any human comprehension, stretching on past limit of natural sights.

Even as they reached with the aid of the Force, no end or beginning to its borders can be found. 

As the shock passes and Rey's mind catches up with her eyes, the disjointed features of the space starts to come together. Overwrought senses finally clearing as a new picture form and this desolate place registers as more than mere fantasy.

There is little light around them, a stygian darkness as black as night filling almost every voided space. Yet there is still a faded brilliance to be found, a small sliver of light to be unearthed as the companion's step tentatively forward.

Below them, a wide path shimmers in the wake of their footsteps, the untouched trail threading through the ground in phosphorescent white light. Unfurling into vibrant patterns which illuminate a way forward. These glowing, pure lucent fragments flowing on, to spread forth in every direction. Linking together like minor river streams until a network of paths emerge.

Rey realises with a start as the illuminations continue, they seem to be on a bridge above an endless chasm. Peering over the edge, she sees a sheer drop either side that reveals the same bridge repeating infinitely above and below them. Staggered at levels like floors within building. 

Identical in every way.

But that is not the half of what this place holds for them.

For the further she, Ben and Finn struggle on, the more things unravel before their eyes. 

Ahead, the main path diverges onto smaller walkways. Large, strange shapes arising from the gloom to adorn the edge of every tributary. The closer the friends walk, the more solid they appear, like diaphanous sepulchres dispersed at random distances and raised on platforms the naked eye cannot see.

This low buzzing presence they feel within the Force, providing the only reassurance that any passage across will be safe.

The rock like shapes that stand at the end of every hidden track, are solid and imposing, and yet appear translucent at every change of angle.

Co-existing in these disparate, opposing states as though trapped between two dimesions at once.

Looking closer, Rey can see every raised repository seems to branch/span> off the main trunk on each side, like the limbs of a mighty tree. Twisting together in an intricate pattern to form a network of interconnecting platforms. The maze of pathways is a translucent mesh of repeating motifs, delicate as the silk webs of a spider, but stronger and more tensile than any durasteel wire.

" Kriff " Finn exhales gravely "where the hell are we?"

"At the Nexus" Ben answers back quietly, his bright brown eyes gazing up at the structure in wonder.

"We're at the heart of the World between Worlds".

“ Kriff ” Finn exhales again, utterly bewildered by the majesty of it all “I think I’m still dreaming”.

Whilst Rey is equally caught off kilter by sights she beholds, a sudden anxious thought breaks through. 

The spectre.

Looking back behind them, Rey breathes a sigh of relief as she finds the threshold to the cave  has vanished in their wake. Nothing but the same complex network of branches behind her as what lies ahead of them.

There is solace in knowing that ferocious acolyte of the dark is still trapped in the damp, dour cave of before. Held at bay at least for now.

"Come on, we have to keep moving " Rey says tersely, pulling Ben forward as she guides them down the gilded path. Careful not to stray  too far ahead of them as she lets Bens hand go.

Finn grunts in agreement, forcing Ben to move faster as they venture further into that strange place of marvellous curiosity. 

The truth is, they urgently need to find a place to hide and rest for a while, to regroup, even just for a short moment. The violent battle with her dark double has drained Rey’s energy almost to the brink, while Ben is quickly running out of tolerance for the pain he is in. And Finn, well he is in no  real better state.

They need to find shelter.

Quickly.

Yet, the friends can see nowhere in sight to help them elude the pursuing phantom of darkness. The vast, open gallery of the chamber hiding nothing from the  keen-eyed observer.

Finn’s own body is starting to ache now, the full weight of Ben’s immense frame pressing down on his strong shoulders as his stamina begins to wane.

“ Kriff Solo, you really are a heavy sonofabitch. You weigh more than a  nerf ” he wheezes out, dragging the stumbling, passively moving man onwards as they start to lag behind Rey.

“Stop complaining” Ben snaps back, visibly sweating with exertion as he grits his teeth against the agony of every step “You’re not the one with the broken ankle...or the one  who’s forced to hear your  heavy, wet mouth breathing in their ear.  _ Maker,  _ maybe try lifting a  weight or two occasionally ”

Finn scoffs loudly, scowling at Ben as the other man glowers back at him.

“I would  _ love  _ to just drop you  right here , right now and watch you drag your stupid ass the rest of the way back, but....” Finn sighs heavily in resignation “I’m pretty sure Rey  will kill me if I do”

Ben smirks at him cockily, knowing the victory is hollow at best, but enjoying it all the same.

“Well I guess you’re stuck with me then.”

Finn scoffs again, narrowing his eyes at Ben but adding nothing further. He resorts instead to churlishly muttering obscenities under his breath as they struggle on.

Rey doesn’t seem to be paying their childish bickering much attention, her gaze instead fixed upon the first platform they approach. Her feet coming to a stop and studying the form of it where she stands a few paces ahead of the boys. 

Its narrow gangway leads to a solid triangular plinth of the darkest stone Rey has ever seen, an almost obsidian black in the weak light of the space. 

Set in the middle of this strange, forbidding stone, is a huge round, convex orb. A murky looking glass of some sort, that doesn’t seem to reflect what little light they are granted. 

Walking closer to it, out of sheer, unthinking curiosity, Rey watches in wonder as the sides of the sepulchre are slowing etched with the same brilliant white markings as the bridge. 

The spreading light forming an array of symbols on the dark stone, to manifest a cipher of complex characters which makes Rey falter. Knowing instantly she has seen this sequence before.

In those odd characters she had seen on the cavern walls of Dagobah and around the mysterious carved strong box she’d found the missing Jedi texts.  


These ancient, lost symbols that spoke of things she did not quite understand yet.

Things she may never understand or want to understand. 

Sometimes the speculation of an enigma is better than the solving of it.

Coming to stand in front of the large, semi globe of the sepulchre, the opaque glass within/span> seems to change as Rey’s stuttered breath hits its  surface .

A shadow starting to form  from deep inside .

The  shadow  ebbs and  flows like spilled oil in water, tiny disparate  parts roiling together  until one larger oblong shape becomes  visible .

Stretching on as  it matches the shape of Reys torso.

The longer she stands there, the clearer the picture becomes upon it, a face forming on the other side of that rounded glass.

There is a short, surprised intake of breathe from Rey as her chest stutters. 

The face.

It is her own.

Younger and more uncertain of her place in the world than she ever had or ever would be. 

The  image is frozen as if lost in time, the  figure  of her past  stuck  for eternity in that desperate, lonely/span> moment Rey had asked the dark the truth of her parents. When all she had received in return for this plaintive, hopefilled cry, was her own haunted, searching mien.

Rey places her hand on the image, feeling the membrane that holds that critical moment from her.

The barrier through to the past is flimsy and easily penetrated if she so chooses. The same viscous consistency of the other portal as it urges her forward.

But Rey doesn't press on, doesn't answer that pleading girl of her past.

For that past is all  but  dead now and she must let it remain so. Let the past die, as Ben would say. 

Rey takes her hand away reluctantly, watching as the memory fades and the convex mirror clouds once more.

But even with a regretful, pang in her gut, an idea forms in that quick, clever mind of hers.

"This place exists outside of time" Rey says quietly, turning to Ben and Finn who watch her cautiously. Neither man comments on what they have just witnessed, for there is an unconscious knowing that passes between them all that doesn't require words. There are some things that don't warrant discussion or attention drawn to. It is as if it never happened. 

"I think....I believe, if we break through the glass in these mirrors, we can jump to any point in the past we want " Rey continues with growing wonder, her eyes flicking back to the glass once more before settling on Ben’s pensive face.

"If we find a moment to; a single, simple moment in existence which causes the least number of ripples to  _ our  _ timeline, I think we can hide from ....whatever that  _ thing  _ was earlier in the cave...” 

Rey’s eyes grow serious again as she shifts her gaze to Finn’s sceptical frown.

“We can hide, at least until we are ready." She adds in a lower voice. Her friend’s expression lightens as he digests the option and lets his mind turn over her careful words. There is logic to it. Finn hums to himself as he nods at Rey with a slight bob of his, seeming to accept her plan with little argument.

Shifting her gaze back to Ben, he stares back at Rey impassively, too worn out to add much to the conversation. He simply gives her a small smile in acknowledgement and nods too in assent.

Rey smile back at him for a moment, feeling a rush of  _ something strong  _ bouncing back towards her, from his side of the bond _.  _ The passage of information and thought moving between them easier now, as the remnants of their connection slowly heals. A shorn, threadbare tether stitching itself back together as the Force purrs contented in low thrums around them.

Finn looks away, casting an eye at the pathways ahead thoughtfully as the silence stretches once more. His dark eyes catalogue every possible option at their disposal and after a long moment, he sighs loudly in resignation. 

For there is a growing realisation dawning on him now as he counts the sheer the number of identical platforms that surround them. Mind skimming over every possible combination of time and location in the known universe, the permutations running into thousands.

"Any idea where, or more importantly, when our opportune moment may be?" He rumbles sardonically, flashing Rey a wry smile as he catches her eye with a look of bewilderment. He does not know how they will choose! Rey smiles back sheepishly with a shrug of her shoulders.

"No idea ..... but it can't hurt to look"

At this, Finn’s full lips curls up higher into a deeper, truer smile.

“Lead the way Master Skywalker”.

* * *

In the end, it does not take Rey long to narrow down their best option. The answer practically falling into her lap as she grins broadly at Finn and Ben.

“Endor?” Finn says dubiously, looking out into the familiar crystalline waters of the waterfall as it cascades across the mirror in front of them. The glittering light of the lazy suns dappling the hidden cave with bright bursts of gold and silver through the wall of water.

“Really?” he adds with a short scoff.

“What? There’s fresh water... It’s safe, it’s secluded...it’s” Rey argues back.

“ ....It’s where you desecrated a sacred Ewok temple...” Finn interrupts with a pointed look, taking sick pleasure in the rush of crimson on Rey’s cheeks. Her immediate flushing reaction a dead giveaway the accusation is true. 

“I did not” she splutters back, her bashful eyes flicking to Ben’s wide, confused gaze. A thunderous, hurt expression then starts to colour his face puce, this abrupt change of mood a reaction she cannot quite read, let alone fathom. 

“Rey....I know you had sex in that cave” Finn laughs, pointing at the half-formed image of the grotto in front of them.

“The Ewok Chief complained to me,  _ personally! Said the waterfall’s purity had been befouled by  _ someone’s repeated,  _ illicit acts ..... and I know for a fact it wasn’t me or Rose. Jannah is also a definite no”. _

__

“How can you be sure?” Rey fights back, skin suddenly feeling tight and itchy.

__

“Well for a start Jannah is one hundred percent asexual...” Finn shoots back with a grin “And....none of the platoons are ever allowed to wander too far from camp. Sooo....it had to be you”

__

Rey’s blush deepens, her words stuttering as she tries and fails to deny the obvious truth.

__

“I....you  see.. I ”

__

Rey looks at Ben again, his once hurt, confused expression now shifting to a barely contained fury. This sharp rage, like his aggrieved confusion, is a heated reaction Rey doesn't frankly expect.

__

For though in truth, it is beyond embarrassing to be called out like this on their sex life, this look he has upon his face ....this spitting, self righteous anger, it reeks of something much darker than mere mortification.

_Speaks of something harsher and much more dangerous._

Vitriolic and unstable as an intense jealousy.

_It throws Rey off balance._

She could try  rationalising this strange humour of his anyway she wants, but she cannot ignore the sneaking suspicion bubbling in her gut. That same suspicion that had struck her when she’d swiped Ben’s hair from his face. Peering down only to see a man she’d lost from her past.

_For what other reason could he have for showing such disappointment in knowing of that heated night behind the water if he does not remember._

And it is in this realisation, this gut-wrenching  affirmation, she truly start to think this man in front of her, may not be Ben she fought to find.

__

There is not word to describe the pain she feels, in knowing he does not remember.

__

“Well” Rey mumbles blankly, dragging her gaze back to Finn with a scowl as she finally grabs a hold of herself.

__

“Whether I did or I didn’t, it’s none of your concern right now.”

__

Finn smirks before biting his lip.

__

“I guess it’s not ....provided I don’t have to witness you both making the beast with two backs.” he agrees with a teasing lilt to his voice. Noting Ben’s aggressive glower, he looks at the other man strangely.

__

“Maker Solo, no need to get so het up about it...... I was only kidding”.

__

Ben’s jaw twitches as he chews on the distaste burning from his gut. He only grunts in reply, his once whiskey coloured eyes, now an almost black as he fixes his gaze on the mirror ahead of them.

__

Finn shares a look with Rey, sighing heavily before they step closer to the murky glass of the unusual stone structures.

__

“Maker above” Finn mutters to himself “no need to get so touchy, just because I don’t want to take my chance at seeing your pasty, white ass”.

__

Ben’s head whips to face Finn, grinding them both to a complete halt as confusion furrows his brow once more.

__

“What do you mean?” he spits out, blinking rapidly as he glares between Rey and Finn with fiery eyes. His disorientation becoming worse with every moment they stand there reminiscing. 

__

Finn’s looks similarly bemused, opening his mouth to spell it out as plainly as possible, but Rey beats him to the punch.

__

“Nothing...he means nothing. Finn’s just trying to aggravate you.” Rey answers sourly “Just ignore him”.

__

Finn’s face darkens, scoffing loudly as he attempts to counter her insult with a remark of his own. But as Rey’s eyes flash in warning, he lets the matter go.

__

Knowing there is more to this than meets the eye.

__

Ben looks at Rey suspiciously, jaw twitching again as he decides  whether to press the matter or not. Heaving a weary sigh, he decides the aggravation is not worth his remaining energy.

__

That jealous anger however has disappeared, replaced by another frown of intense concentration and bewilderment. The wheels clearly turning in his unsettled head.

_Perhaps his jealousy has been entirely misguided?_

_However he does not get much time to ponder this further. Now is not the time for idle thoughts._

“Come on ” Rey says quietly, a dejected expression finding its way onto her face as her eyes never leave Ben's uncertain ones.

__

“It’s time to  go" .

__

* * *

__

It is late afternoon on the day they cross into Endor. The twin suns a lazy golden glow through the loud rushing water of the falls. Finn surmises by the lower flow of water and softer ambient temperature of the caves pool, they have arrived sometime in the dry mid-Summer. What little of the outside bracken he can see, has grown brittle and shrunken in the seasons heat. The year in which they have found themselves, however, seems to be a different matter.

__

Finn only hopes for all their sakes, it is a season left unscathed by the Empires or First Orders galactic wars.

__

Fate it seems for once is on their side and the outer riverside remains peaceful.

__

The trio speaks little as they prepare their camp for the night with what little supplies they can salvage within the cave. They have nothing to use as bedding so to speak or much food provisions to quench the hunger of three, but  a small fire is thankfully lit upon the grass knoll without much trouble.

__

The warm, welcoming flames of it quelling at least some of their growing discontent. The small, hot meal they share from the basic rations improves moods further as their sated bellies settle.

__

Once this initial flurry of activity has ceased, Finn takes the immediate opportunity to rest, gentle snores ringing out around the cave no sooner than he lays his head amidst the soft down of the summer grass. He couldn’t stand the awkwardness  surrounding Rey and Ben that evening anyway. 

_Sleep is an easy escape from it all._

Rey is too wired to lay her body down yet, content instead to check and recheck the measly contents of her trusty satchel before pacing the perimeter to scout for any new intruders.

_Her eyes trace the darkening terrain over and over again_

Even as she recognises her caution is not needed in such a remote place.

__

The falling evening outside is quiet and absent of any sentient life which would cause them much trouble. Regardless, Rey ensures her sabre is secured tightened on her hip and her blaster strapped back in its holster just in case.

__

The whole of preparation exercise and boundary sweep, only  takes a few moments. But Rey doesn’t return to Ben’s side despite his obvious desire for her to do so, too agitated to sit and face the gentle, searching amber of his eyes quite yet. 

__

Her cheeks are aching now, the blood has long has since clotted but the wound is a stinging reminder of the beating she’s taken. Her throat and chest still bear a reminder too of the violent beast, each deep breath a low, ebb of discomfort under her larynx.

__

How Rey wishes now she had not bequeathed the medical packs to Maz, her small supply of  bacta patches woeful inadequate for the injuries with which she and Ben find themselves afflicted.

__

But it will have to do.

__

After a while her pacing and avoidance of him becomes palpable and her tired limbs protest to the strain of those tightly measured step. She  has to rest.

__

Rey flops down on the grass a few feet away from her silent lover and loses her attentions to the fire, eyes fixating on the bright orange and red as a calm comes over her.

__

Rey watches as the flames dance and lick higher along the grey, dry limbs of timber. Transforming the once dull, simple branches of birch into glowing sabres of fascination. Rey cannot look away for a time, the snapping, crackling burn of it lulling her into a trance. Absorbed by some ancient instinct to fear and revere the unstable beauty of the hearth.

__

Reys reverie is only broken when her skin begins to itch, an awareness of Ben prickling at the back of her neck. She can feel his eyes on her as she steadfastly watches the fire, his despair and desperation to understand this new distance between them, burning in his stare.

__

Rey does not look back, that jolting feeling of uncertainty roiling in her gut until she hears Ben sharp intake of  breath . He feels it now, of course. 

__

Her longing for someone else, that man with his same face and name but that someone who has been lost to time.

__

Their bond is strengthening again, she can sense it now,

__

Rey had almost forgotten what it was to share such a connection. Every fear and fleeting thought broadcasting like a siren blast into Ben’s troubled mind. Rey considers snapping her thoughts closed to him, but she wonders. 

__

She could use it to her advantage.

__

An idea strikes now in her mind to test the waters of his clouded memory.

__

Rey’s eyes fall upon the sheet of cascading water rushing by the cave mouth. Its translucent surface a glassy sheet this evening, beautifully clear but not reflective like a night she knew not long ago. 

__

The night that makes her squirms as she remembers every paltry, sordid detail. There is a deep throb between her legs as her body reacts to the images flooding back to her. The skin on her cheeks burning scarlet when she knows Ben can feel it, can see it all as she reminisces on each touch. Experience as she remembers the sound he made when he entered her, the touch of his hands upon her breast and lips upon hers as they rutted together.

__

Rey practically forces the images into his head, cracking the path open so wide he cannot ignore the deluge.

__

“Stop” Ben rushes out, voice tight and overcome with something he cannot quite control.

__

“Please, just stop.”

__

His cheeks are hot and flushed when she finally looks back at him, bashful and yet strangely enthralled by it all. Ben’s heart is thundering as the beginnings of arousal hides behind the stricken mask of his face and loose material of his pants.

__

“Sorry" Rey mutters quietly, unable to add anything further as that disappointment grows.

__

Ben exhales loudly, a deep calming breath taken to  quell the desire threatening to spread in his gut.

__

He shuts his mind to Rey, clouding his thoughts even as his own discomfort  vibrates in the space between them. He blushes heavier when he meets her probing gaze again.

__

She is studying him, trying to find the root of his unease. Is it just embarrassment in the face of such illicit recollections or the shame of lost time for which he cannot account  for?

__

Rey does not get her answer, Ben seeking  to deflect her attention with humour. 

__

“As lovely as those images were, I don’t think Finn will appreciate waking up to the sight of my raging erection” he comments with a wry smile. The attempt at levity reeking of forced humour.

__

But Rey takes it in her stride,  knowing to  demand her answers now would seem u ncouth. 

__

She gives him a watery smile in reply and turns back to the fire without another word. Unhappy the strategy had not worked. Time trickles on and she senses no recognition in him that he remembers what happened here. 

__

It is disheartening.

__

And Ben knows this, the sorrow she feels underneath it all for what she has lost.

__

Forever.

__

It hurts him too, to know he will always be second best to a ghost of his own making.

__

He is desperate for her, this mournful ache within him calling to her through the deepening tendrils of their burgeoning bond. 

__

Ben wants to touch her, needs to touch, but fears the rejection.

__

So aware of the disappointment she feels at finding him and not the man she craves.

__

Rey cannot stand it, feeling  repeatedly this pain she is putting him through. Ben does not deserve this  dismissal and dejected behaviour from her.

__

She does the only thing that seems right in that moment, reaching across the three short feet of space that separates them and taking his coarse, warm hand in hers.

__

Ben’s hot breath comes rushing out of his mouth in long, uneven puffs. A relief flooding his heart as he feels her grip tighten, her thumb running over his knuckles in slow, even strokes. There is an electricity, a rightness to the feel of their skin pressed together that soothes the distress.

__

Connecting them together, even just for one, short uncertain sigh in tandem.

__

Rey’s face is soft and open when she looks up at Ben once more, a trace of something warmer in the vibrant hazel of her eyes when she meets his own tender stare.

__

Gods how he wants to kiss her.

__

Their last embrace feeling like millennia ago to him.

__

Maybe it had been that long, for time itself was irrelevant in this case.

__

Ben had been trapped in the nether world a long time, that much was clear from the moment he had awoken under Finn’s hands in the cave.

__

Years had passed.

__

How many...... well that remained another tale to be told.

__

Ben tries to shuffle closer, aching to take her into his arms and never let go. But reality is a harsh mistress, every nerve firing at once as his ankle and ribs pang in protest the moment he twitches one inch out of sync.

__

“ _ Kark _ ” Ben hisses through gritted teeth, curling in on himself as the pain gets worse. 

__

Rey is soon at his side, concern sinking in her gut at the agony twisting on his face.

__

"How are you feeling?" she murmurs tenderly, pushing him down gently onto his back as she leans over him. Keen eyes studying his shifting expressions as he grunts in discomfort.

__

"Oh …..you know, like I fell down a pit and hit every rock along the way." He replies wryly, pained smile splitting his upturned mouth. Rey can’t help but laugh, beautiful, white teeth flashing at him as her mouth widens in mirth. 

__

And in that shared flicker of jest, Ben doesn’t feel any pain for one glorious second, basking in the smile he has drawn from her. 

__

It is bliss.

__

However, the interlude does not last long. His injuries to severe to ignore. Another grunt of agony rises from his chest that stokes Rey back into action.

__

Reaching into her canvas bag, Rey pulls out a tab of low dose  symoxin and hands two red capsules to Ben without a word. Moving from his side, she shuffles down the gentle hillock to fill her canteen at the pool. Her intense gaze never leaving him as the small, metal vessel glugs to capacity. 

__

Rey’s slim fingers are cool against his feverish ones, when she hands the heavy, full canteen to Ben and gestures for him to take the medicine.

__

Sighing loudly, Ben does as she asks. Swallowing the bitter pills in one gulp as Rey hand starts to run her fingers through his mussed, dark hair. Mollifying any lingering self-pity with the calming motion of her fingers over his scalp.

__

“Better?” she murmurs affectionately, moving closer until Ben’s head rest on her thigh.

__

“Better” he confirms with a low groan, swallowing another long drag of the cool, clean water.

__

“Good” she replies with a sweet, soft smile.

__

Ben can’t take his eyes off her again, so enraptured by her attentions, all previous concerns seem to wane to nothing.

__

They stare at each other, letting the comforting shadows of the firelight wash over their features and the sound of the gushing waterfall, allay their worries. The Force is a pleasant buzz of rising waves of brilliant light and countering falls of impenetrable darkness.

__

Contentment is found in the balance of it, the equilibrium tentative but  invigorating .

__

But it does not last, for the real-world beckons cruelly.

__

Rey sighs heavily after a long moment, interrupting the peace as her brow furrows.

__

“You know, I could try healing you again” she suggests, her hands stilling in his hair.

__

Ben’s face darkens as he shifts uncomfortably against her thigh.

__

“No.....once was quite enough. You need to keep your strength up” he replies lowly, avoiding her gaze for a moment as he anticipates her retort.

__

“You don’t need to repay the favour Rey. It was a life gift I don’t intend accepting a repayment on”.

__

His mind turns to  Exegol with a low sickening swoop, acid burning in his gut until the bile seems to  rise up his throat. He tries to shake the image of her lifeless body away, the awful memory an unwelcome intrusion to his thoughts.

__

“Not ever” Ben adds with quiet, desperate murmur

__

Rey opens her mouth to argue, but slowly closes it again when she sees Ben will not be swayed.

__

Truthfully, he is right.

__

Any weakening of her body could spell disaster for them all if that dark creature attacks again soon. Ben may be in pain, but he is in no immediate danger.

__

He will just have to endure it a while longer.

__

“Fine” she grumbles back, resuming her ministrations against his scalp.

__

“What about you?” Ben says suddenly, reaching up to run his finger over the wound in her cheek.

__

“This hardly needs calls for that sort of attention” Rey chuckles back, catching his retreating fingers with her own “it’s a scratch at best.”

__

Ben jaw twitches in displeasure, not liking the idea of her in pain any more than she does him.

__

“Let me put some  bacta on it at least” he insists gruffly as he moves to sit up “You don’t want it to scar”.

__

“Maybe I do” she teases back, handing Ben the  bacta even as she gently asserts to the contrary “I seem to remember you looked pretty good with a facial scar.”

__

Ben snorts loudly, reaching her for chin and softly turning her face towards him.

__

“If you liked it so much, why did you  heal it with everything else on Kef Bir?”

__

Rey’s lips twitch in the shape of a smirk. She shrugs in reply, no longer deigning to give him an answer.

__

Ben snorts again, turning his attention back to the task at hand with a shake of his head.

__

His thick, warm fingers are featherlight against her skin as he spreads the gel on the angry, red wound. Ben cannot help but feel a shiver of delight as Rey’s  pupils dilate erratically with their  close proximity . Another unexpected blush splashing across the bridge of her nose in response to his touch. 

__

Ben grunts softly as he drags his eyes from her searching gaze, oddly satisfied when he secures the small, soothing bacta patch over the wound with a pleased hum.

__

“All done” he rumbles happily.

__

“My hero” Rey bites back, causing Ben to chuckle lightly.

__

“Don’t get it wet” he warns with a teasing wag of his finger, a pleasant burn forming in the pit of his stomach when Rey beams back at him brightly “that’s an order”.

__

“I wouldn’t dream of it; I remember how irate you were the last time the  bacta patch fell off.” Rey replies without thinking, too caught up in the tentative banter to know what she has done before it is too late.

__

Ben’s good humour instantly deflates as Rey realises her mistake.

__

“The last time” Ben replies blankly, expression twisting melancholically as he drops his eyes to the ground.

__

“I’ve tended to you before?”

__

Rey curses her big mouth, wincing internally at herself for drawing attention to the proverbial  bantha in the room.

__

“Yes.... after I got attacked by  Bogwings on Dagobah” she replies quietly.

__

Pulling up the short sleeve of her tunic, she shows Ben the faint, pink lines of three scars on her bicep. The healed claw marks a collection of jagged stripes across the wiry muscle of her left arm.

__

“The  bacta kept falling off and in the end, I just let it scar.”

__

Ben runs his fingers over the raise line of her skin, brow furrowed in confusion. Trying to find any trace of that memory in his head.

__

But finding nothing.

__

A barren waste of empty imaginings in that recollection, fuelled by some solemn wish for it to be real in the very core of his soul.

__

Ben huffs out in frustration and lets his hand fall back to his side as his expression darkens.

__

“I see” he says quietly, unable to meet her gaze. Knowing he will see nothing but a barely concealed dejection there in her face.

__

"You really don't remember.......any of it?" she states more than asks. Knowing in her heart the answer before the words even form on Ben’s mouth. Her lip trembles despite her best efforts to hide it, jaw clenching as she fights that dry sob that catches in her throat. 

__

Once  again, she is truck by that warring emotion that surges within her, that impulse to rejoice the finding of him after so long, while mourning the loss of his double in equal measure. 

__

It overwhelms, leaking into the bond at a ferocious rate Rey cannot stop.

__

Her vibrant, hazel eyes grow glassy as Ben’s face crumples in response.

__

Hearing the anguish and pain lacing her voice. 

__

Feeling unwanted and no more than second best.

__

"No....I don't. I'm sorry." 

__

There is regret etched on his face, dark eyes a well of sorrow at the things he cannot change.

__

"But....I want to. So much... I want to" he whispers back, emotions a thick lump in his throat as he speaks. Rey’s hand finds his again, squeezing hard as she tries to show him it's okay.

__

She understands.

__

There is still one small part of her that considers showing him those missing moment, of pressing the lost weeks back into his mind.

__

But to what end? 

__

They are not his memories, they are hers.

__

It will only make things worse.

__

“It’s not important” she murmurs back “they are just silly little things”

__

Ben knows this is a shamefaced lie, a lie for the best possible reason, but still a lie.

__

It does matter, it matters so much he can feel Rey’s heart slowly breaking even as she tries to convince herself the pain is only trivial. Wanting this part of him she just can’t have. 

__

It’s just not fair.

__

Rey has so much more she needs to say, to reassure him, to let him know she wants him too.

__

Yet somehow none of these words want to assemble on her tongue. Her mind a blank, grief-stricken desert.

__

All at once she feels exhausted, battle worn body demanding rest as the crimson suns starts to set just behind the noisy veil of the waterfall.

__

She lets go of Ben’s hand and shuffles back a little. Ben leans forward a breath, wanting to follow her before catching himself with an embarrassed flush as she yawns.

__

“I’m just going to close by eyes for a bit” she sighs, slurring her words slightly as she rubs roughly at her brow.

__

“ Of course, you must be tired ” Ben exhales quietly, nodding absentmindedly as he watches her lay back against the tough, stiff grass of the hillock with an unreadable look on her face.

__

Disappointment curls in his gut even as he tries to let it all go. This act alone harder than he thought possible

__

“I’ll keep a vigil”.

__

Rey nods in answer, staring up at him as her lack of speech eats at her. For there is an ocean of soothing, affectionate epithets she has for him, raging just below the surface of her consciousness.

__

Words that would fade the l ook of worry and disquiet from his handsome face. 

__

But nothing seems to rise and work its way into her mouth.

__

She is dumbfounded and tongue tied.

__

“Goodnight Ben” is all she manages before she turns on her side and hides the tears pricking at her eyes. Her lean, strong body curls in on itself as she tries to stop the great gulping sobs of silent frustration that force themselves out of her chest.

__

The Force is soon saturated by it, this feeling of self-loathing and loss, twisting the energy in that cavern until Ben cannot take it.

__

He moves closer despite the vocal protests of his shattered ribs and throbbing ankle, his hand soon on Rey’s shoulder as he coaxes her around to face him. Guiding her on until she lays there on her back once more. 

__

Ben looks down at Rey with such tender, understanding, she cannot help but hiccup loudly and let her tears flow stronger.

__

His hand is warm and reassuring on her cheek as he wipes away the salty streams of the upset rolling down her skin. Running his thumb along the pronounced edges of the bone with the softest of touches, he sighs visibly. 

__

The smallest of affectionate smiles gracing his mouth as traces the silky, smooth planes of her face.

__

Letting go, he gingerly lowers himself into the space beside her and inches his head close to her face with a stuttering exhale of sudden nervousness. Those big beautiful eyes of his staring deeply into her own fearful, stricken gaze as her tears start to dry.

__

Neither of them  moves for the longest time, staring at the other as they lie side by side on their backs.

__

Ben can sense Rey’s sadness is not waning with her tears, this broken feeling of failure rolling off her body in waves.

__

Gulping visibly, he reaches across and grasps Rey’s shoulder again. Encouraging her body forward until she rests upon her side against him. Angling her closer, Ben keeps coaxing her forward until her forehead sits upon his shoulder.

__

“Come here” he murmurs softly into her ear as he dips forward to press his cheek against the crown of her head. Rey sniffs loudly but does not protest to his insistence, body growing limp as she leans into his touch.

__

Ben’s let’s out a long, nervous breath as his arm wraps around her shoulders, awkwardly at first, until he feels her small hand shift and press to his sternum with a sigh. Rey wordlessly lets him pull her closer, moving her pliant frame to rest her head upon the soft swell of his immense chest. The ache of his ribs on the other side of his bruised torso are but a minor inconvenience now, as Reys warm, soft body slowly covers his. Carefully folding her legs over his hip as she seeks his warmth.

__

At first Rey is a little stiff, too shamed by her own defeatist mood to enjoy the security of his embrace as Ben tries in vain to comfort her. But after a long tense moment, she begins to relax as she breaths him in. Pushing in intuitively into the crook of his neck as her hand grips at the familiar material of his dark shirt.  


__

Rey inhales deeply as something is stoked within, like the cognition of home. 

__

Ben, he smells the same.

__

That mix of star dust,  salt and something altogether, just him.

__

It fills her heart.

__

Renews her hope and assuages her fears.

__

She finds herself groaning and mouthing shamelessly at the delicate skin of Ben’s throat before she is even conscious of the decision. It’s not until Ben shudders at the brushing of her lips close to his  Adams apple that Rey stops, her mind catching back up with her body. 

__

She stills, p ulling back with a slight gasp of contrition as  her eyes  grow  wide and  unsure.

__

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that .” 

__

Ben mouth lies agape, jaw twitching as he digests the feeling of her panicked breath fanning across his face. His skin buzzing pleasantly from the contact of her lips on his neck. It’s a confused sort of pleasure, torturous, but more than welcome and relished by his touch starved body.

__

“No...” he manages to stutter out “Don’t apologise. I....liked it”.

__

His hand is suddenly at the nape of her neck, playing with the stray hairs at the base of her skull as he regards her. Awestruck by her beauty.

__

She is so close now, face moving on instinct until her nose rests against his.

__

Rey cannot fight that draw she has to him, for it is still Ben’s gentle brown eyes that stare at her now.

__

Looking at her with such reverence and affection, she sees no difference to the man she came here to save.

__

Her fingers running over the line of his shaking jaw as her thumb brushes over the plump flesh of his lower lip. Ben gulps again in obvious nervousness, exhaling loudly when Rey’s gaze drifts down to his mouth.

__

Anticipating her next move before she makes it.

__

He knows what she wants, his own desire reflecting with hers across the shortening chasm of their bond.

__

Rey pauses just short of Ben’s lips, her own apprehension rising inexplicably. Her breath escapes in short, burst of shaking heat. Jaw trembling as she hovers just above Ben’s own panting, waiting mouth.

__

In truth, she has lost count of how many times she has kissed Ben Solo at this stage, but there is something special about this time somehow.

__

A freshness and sweetness to it that makes her heart pound.

__

Whether it is the knowledge that the Ben who lies below her, has only known the pleasure of one kiss or perhaps it is the guileless way he is looking up at her right now, nothing about it is the same.

__

But that same fiery attraction between them burns as before.

__

Rey shudders as she takes a deep steadying breath and regathers her confidence.

__

She smiles faintly as she closes her eyes and leans forward, capturing Ben’s soft mouth in the gentlest of caresses. He presses back up into her sweetly, huffing out in disbelief and happiness as he feels the want and affection in that kiss.

__

He is grinning dopily when she pulls back after a long lingering passage of moments.

__

“Wow, that was better than I remembered” he mumbles demurely, eyes smiling up at her as he blushes deeper. Rey smiles back at him, adding no further comment before leaning forward to kiss him again.

__

Harder this time.

__

Ben groans loudly as she slips her tongue against his, earlier feelings of  inadequacy disappearing as he pulls her deeper. Chest swelling as he hears Rey moan back eagerly.

__

There is something unique in kissing him now, the feel and technique almost identical as his confidence grows and he moves in time with her wants.

__

But.

__

There’s a new electricity to it now that crackles through her veins, a swelling of energy all through and around them. Like the very Force itself is moving between their pleasing lips and hotly pressed bodies.

__

Rey can feel how much her mouth is delighting him, intoxicating Ben’s senses until every little enraptured impulse is laid out bare before her.

__

The realness and strength of their connection overwhelms her.

__

It’s all too much.

__

In the end, it is Rey that pulls back first, moving to rest her face in the crook of Ben’s neck as she tries to stem the loss of control she feels. Things are not the same, not by a long shot and it makes her  feel,  _ guilty _ __ almost.

__

Like intensity of their brushing lips, that relief in her bones she feels now, is a cruel betrayal of the man she’d left  Chandrila with that morning.

__

Rey shakes as she feels Ben’s long finger run their way up her spine as he hums bemusedly. Nuzzling into the side of her buried face as he beams and absolutely  _ kriffing  _ glows with happiness.

__

He is elated to feel wanted like that.

__

To know she feels so strongly for him even after everything that had happened in their separation.

__

But is also bittersweet ....for he can feel it, that growing conflict plaguing Rey’s conscience.

__

He understands it all too well.

__

" Rey....I know I'm not the person you can here for ....but.. " He begins carefully, fully aware that bitterness is not a welcome emotion in this moment.

__

" Ben you are! " Rey interjects desperately, raising her hear head from his chest to look at him with such remorse and regret as soon as the words penetrate her ears.

__

Ben looks back at her sadly, knowing the truth even if she is too  virtuous a person to admit it.

__

"No Rey, I'm not. I know I'm not" he says solemnly as Rey’s face falls into a pained look of self-reproach.

__

Cursing her own childish and misplaced sense of what is due to her.

__

After all she has suffered to get here, the pain and literal blood she has shed to have him back here with her. So solid, strong and alive beneath her fingertips, it is heinous to feel anything but gleefully lucky. To thank the gods and every celestial force in the known universe she has a second chance with him.

__

And in that  moment, she knows she has been a damn fool.

__

Because  _ here  _ is the man she dreamed of for so long, the man she loves with all her tender beating heart. 

__

He is her Ben,

__

Just stood a few steps behind her in their shared story.

__

"Ben....it doesn't change who you are ....those memories you lost....there's plenty of time to make our own again." She urges fiercely, holding his face so tenderly it seems completely at odds with her forceful tone.

__

She leans closer, hoping the earnestness of her words are hitting home.

__

"I promise...." She whispers earnestly, sealing the vow with a fleeting, tender kiss to his mouth.

__

Ben’s expression softens, not quite believing her but consoled by the sentiment somehow.

__

“Okay” he exhales softly, cupping her cheek as he holds like the most precious thing in the whole galaxy. Rey’s serious frown fades as she looks down at that familiar face of his and just melts into his touch.

__

That urge to kiss him rises once more, but with the short snorting sound of Finn’s sleepy snores a few feet away, she knows to indulge the impulse once more could be a dangerous gamble.

__

Not when Ben is looking at her like that.

__

Rey is not sure she will be able to stop herself from craving too much from him even at this inopportune moment. The pull of him on her so powerful, it belies any logical explanation.

__

She sighs heavily before laying her head back on his chest reluctantly, as that dormant lick of want flickers at the core of her. 

__

But she  wilfully ignores it.

__

Ben doesn’t seem to care either way, his grip tightening around her as he hums again in utter bliss.

__

“Sleep now cyar’ika. I’ll keep watch.” his deep voice rumbles through her body. Rey freezes for a moment as the pet name hangs in the air, that same voice and name a vivid reminder of similar nights lost in longing and thoughts of the future.

__

“What?” he says with puzzled frown, sensing Rey’s passing discomfort. 

__

Rey blinks back up at him owlishly, her eyes wide but guarded.

__

“Nothing, it’s nothing” she replies, her voice blank and devoid of any signs of unease. Ben snorts, not believing her one bit but unable to find it in himself to force the truth from her.

__

Rest is more important now  than his unfounded, trivial concerns.

__

Kissing her forehead instead, Ben is rewarded by a simple, affectionate smile from Rey before her eyes slip closed. Too exhausted to engage further beyond the soft, kittenish sigh of contentment she makes as she snuggles further into his arms.

__

The steady rising and falling of Ben’s chest lulling her to sleep in a matter of minutes.

__

* * *

__

The night is starting to fade into a new dawn when something rouses her suddenly, hours having slipped away in slumber.

__

Rey is not sure how much time has passed when she wakes fully and becomes aware of incoming voices. A pair of human voices she recognises in some remote section of her mind, tones and timbre that seem oddly altered.

__

Rey jolts upwards in instant dread as her thoughts suddenly catch up with her drowsy mind and body.

__

Kriff it all to hell, she knows those voices.

__

And she and Ben are in some very real trouble if they don’t leave now.

__

Below her, Ben is softly moaning in his sleep, dead to the world and totally oblivious to the dangerous plight he’s put them in. 

__

The damn idiot had drifted off!

__

Smacking his chest hard, Rey instantly clamps her hand over his mouth as he wakes, growling loudly in complaint to her assault.

__

_ Ow _ !

__

_ Shut up - _ her mind whispers to his _. _

__

_ Shut and listen. _

__

Sure enough the pair of voices converse again, the crunch of their approaching footsteps moving through the riverside ferns.

__

“Have you told Han yet?” Luke’s young but distinctive murmur carries through on the air, the soft sound of it finding its way passed the raging water and into the safety of the trio’s hiding place.

__

“No....how can I, he’s out there running a  _ favour  _ for  Kanjiklub again. This is not the sort of news you deliver over a  holocall Luke!” Leia’s gruff reply echoes, reverberating around the stone cavern and into the sorrowful hearts of Ben and Rey.

__

_ Mom? _

__

Ben’s eyes widen as his gaze fixes on the two shadows standing by the edge of the waterfall. The  unmistakable shape of their distracted forms only thirty feet from where Rey and Ben lie in utter panic-stricken shock.

__

_ Kriff _ _ Ben, how could you fall asleep! _

__

Rey glowers down at him, thanking their lucky stars the rising sun is still too low for Luke and Leia to see the shape of them shrouded inside the cave. Ben looks back up at her sheepishly before shrugging with a rising flush of discomfort.

__

_ Oops? _

__

Rey shakes her head at him, huffing as quietly as she can manage before slowly slipping off his chest and edging back towards Finn with her bag in tow. Her steps are silent and measured as she makes her way to her  friend's motionless form. 

__

Shaking him frantically, she shushes Finn like Ben when he cries out. Silencing the loud exclamation of his disgust at being woken prematurely,  with a deft slip of her hand. 

__

_ Quiet _ .

__

Finn’s chokes on his breath as he sees the dark shape of a man and woman against the cascading rush of the falls.

__

_ Kriffing _ _ hell! _

__

“Come on.....aren’t you just a little tempted, it means you could drag him back here ahead of time! And the look on his face would be just priceless!” Luke muses teasingly.

__

“Or maybe..... it’ll finally push him over the edge and we’ll never see him again” Leia jokes back.

__

“He’s going to find out regardless, why not have some fun with it” 

__

Leia sighs. Her short, graceful fingers playing with the raging edge of the pristine waterfall. 

__

Glassy surface diverging around the digit and revealing Ben’s panting, supine body for the flicker of a moment before the waters close back in. Thankfully Leia is too focused on Luke to notice.

__

“You really are wicked my brother” she needles back with a devilish lilt to her voice “But maybe that’s exactly what Han Solo deserves.

__

_ Maker they are getting closer –  _ Finn gasps internally, turning to Rey in utter terror.

__

“We need to move, we have to get out of here before they find us!” she whispers aloud, relieved to see Ben has managed to struggle his way onto his knees.

__

She really should give him another dose of  symoxin to numb the pain, but there is no time now.

__

Rey gestures for him to crawl forward, the portal closer to their position then his.

__

Ben winces, biting down on his lips as his ankle drags awkwardly against the ground.

__

_ Come on sweetheart, just keep going. I know it hurts –  _ Rey whispers into his mind, encouraging him closer and closer. Ben’s brow is soon heavy with sweat, but he pushes on and tries not to cry out as his ribs rattle with each drag towards them.

__

_ That’s it, you’re almost there. _

__

Rey wraps her arms around his shoulders, sending low waves of comfort through the Force to sooth him as he finally reaches her and Finn. She cannot take  all of the pain away without alerting Luke and Leia to their presence, but it is enough. 

__

Ben’s breathing evens out as he looks at her with gratitude.

__

Outside the cave, the twins have slipped off their boots and are beginning to wade through the plunge pool with yelping sounds of delight.

__

“A hundred credits say you can’t stand under that fall for more than ten seconds” Luke’s amused voice challenges.

__

_ Maker! We  _ _ have to _ _ go...now!  _

__

Finn looks between Rey and Ben desperately before grasping Ben’s chest and hauling them both up.

__

Ben wheezes, biting on his fist as he tries to muffle his cry of agony. However, he quickly follows Finn’s lead and hurries toward the portal. Knowing there is no time for delicacy.

__

Rey is quickly after them, the sound of Leia’s approaching splashes like claps of thunder in her ears.

__

The trio make it through the barrier, just as Leia’s head peeks through the veil and looks inside the cave.

__

Finding nothing but the beautiful reflection of the dawn.

__

“That was way too close for comfort” Rey exhales breathlessly as they stumble out the other side with heaving, panicked breathes.

__

“You think! We almost got caught!” Finn explodes at her, eyes murderous as he looks between Rey and Ben in disbelief.

__

“What the hell happened to someone being lookout?”

__

Ben’s face pales as he licks his lips, at least having the decency to look guilty for the mistake.

__

“I fell asleep, I’m sorry” he replies in a low, abashed voice.

__

“Maker....you fell asleep” Finn mutters grumpily “You’d think, you’d never been in hiding before.”

__

Ben cannot help but smirk, a low snort of amusement bubbling up his throat.

__

Finn’s lip twists up in reply as his own mouth turns in an involuntary smirk. Chuckling despite himself.

__

Rey laughs too, smile wide and full of delight as they find amusement in the close call.

__

It really is a little funny.

__

“Well at least the worst is over” Finn sighs with a pointed look.

__

“I wouldn’t be so sure young Jedi” an eerie, low  but familiar voice chuckles from the darkest corner of the chamber. The deep, threatening timbre of it sending shivers of terror up Rey’s back.

__

Because she knows that voice.

__

It’s burned into her memory like the long, dangerous  nights of childhood.

__

There is another low, sickening chuckle as the unseen terror approaches through the shadows. Rey cannot move, the fear that grips her now so much worse than the battle before.

__

It cannot be, surely it cannot be.

__

Bile  rises up in her throat as Ben looks down at her in utter horror, stumbling back a pace or two as the figure of their nightmares rises out of the night. Finn whimpers as the sunken face smiles at him, icy blue eyes shifting over him to land on Ben with a glint of clear malice.

__

“Hello young Solo....young Skywalker.” Snoke rasps coldly, scarred horrid face twisting into a sneer as he steps even closer . “How nice it is to see you all again. What a shame you won't live long enough to enjoy the reunion”. There's is loaded pause, a haunting stillness and then Snoke lurches forward.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big bad has risen and our friends stand right in the line of fire!
> 
> More angst is incoming and some of you will not be best pleased with what may or may not come to fruition.
> 
> Comments and Kudos as always are welcome. Please let me know if you're liking my fic.....it helps me have the confidence to keep writing :)
> 
> Until next time, may the force be with you!


	18. Hades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio battle hard against the forces of darkness, losing much in the process.
> 
> WARNING: Descriptions of violence, death and injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> Thank you all for your kind comments on the last chapter and all the KUDOS, it made me very happy and is always so encouraging :)
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is a little late, I struggled at the start to get this right! It was strangely one of my favourite's to write as I planned this chapter MONTHS ago and it actually for once came out better than I thought. But, it was almost incredibly emotionally draining as you will see and I really, really, really wanted to get it right as the story has been building towards this. It is one of the most important parts of the story and is very action packed. It is also very dark and very violent as you will see.
> 
> #darkrey is very much present here.
> 
> I'm sorry in advance for people I upset with this chapter, but trust me, you will get a happy ending.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this part as I truly put everything into it. Please send me your comments and kudos if you like it, as I sincerely need them at the moment :(
> 
> See you on the other side!
> 
> Love,  
> RedCatRen

Snoke seems to lunge for Ben first, long, pallid fingers seeking to maim and tear at his face. Those filthy, steely talons on each twisted digit, prime themselves to pluck at his wide, terrified eyes with little provocation. 

It is Finn that reacts first, tossing Ben and Rey aside to safety as he draws his spitting, violet blade with a roar. The ensuing, swinging blow he lets loose, glances Snoke’s shoulder, singeing the edge of the creature’s golden robe as he retreats in surprise. Taken aback momentarily by Finn’s quick reflexes. 

Rey catches Ben tightly in her arms as they both stumble awkwardly to the floor, missing the perilous edge of the walkway by only half a step. Something clatters out of Rey’s pocket, the unknown item tumbling over the edge and sailing down into the abyss below. There is no sound of an impact, the lost tool falling endlessly down the midnight pit below, cruelly tumbling in imitation of what nearly befell its owner. 

Ben and Rey are winded by the collision of their bodies, unable to stop the pain that immobilizes them on the cold, unforgiving ground. 

Rendered utterly defenseless by the smallest of missteps, they are like lambs to the slaughter. 

But it seems for once the Gods are on their side. 

For Finn will not bow willingly to the menace that stalks them. 

Driving the twisted giant back another step with a series of clever strikes and parry’s, he easily blocks the small fork of lightening Snoke releases swiftly in retaliation. Not advanced made as he seethes at the young Jedi master. 

The vibrant blue crackling from his hands grows wilder as he roars in frustration, failing repeatedly to hit Ben Solo as he so desperately wants. 

The searing flashes of electricity he sends forth, bounces off several of the mirrors that surround them. The rebounding trajectories are reckless at best, bolts unpredictable as they make final ground only a hair or two short of Ben and Rey. Their injured forms languishing upon the bridge. The landing site of each fiery missile is a smoldering mess of scorched stone above their heads, the smell of charred hair and cotton now filling the air. 

Rey gasps and pulls Ben away from the blistering ground, her breath and senses finally shaken back to normality. Fear a sharp tool to stoke her mind into action, a palpable shot of urgency now sparking in her veins. 

“Ben can you move?” she asks shakily, dodging another feeble wayward strike as Snoke roars again. 

He nods in affirmation, hissing audibly as she pulls him against her chest the moment he does so. 

“Good, because I want you to get a far away from here as you can”. 

Ben turns to her with a heavy brow, readying himself to argue to the contrary. But Rey unexpectedly leans forward and kisses him for the briefest of touches, essentially swallowing his protest and silencing him. 

He looks a bit dazed when she pulls back, blinking back at her in bewilderment. 

“Please....just do it” she smiles sadly, before rising to her feet and retrieving her lightsabre from her belt. Ben huffs loudly but does nothing to stop her as she strides away to join Finn. 

Snoke tries again and again to breach Finn’s defenses, fatal strikes failing to hit their marks as Finn thwarts every assault. His intervention a growing nuisance to Snoke’s carefully laid plans. 

Finn’s sabre swings at breakneck speed, a violet blur that shields his friends against the fire and hatred of this dark creature. 

Snoke snarls in annoyance at him, crouching lower as he draws a hidden sabre from his robes. The red of the glowing, growling blade appearing so dark, it looks almost obsidian. 

"I warned you young Master, my quarrel does not lie with you...step aside!" 

Snoke spits out in warning, his sabre swinging in a tight figure of eight as he advances again. 

"And as I told you, I'm not going anywhere " Finn retorts in a low growl, stepping out in front of Rey and Ben protectively. 

"Pathetic child" Snoke bellows back " your foolishness will be your undoing!" 

"And your unerring arrogance will be yours" Rey replies hotly, suddenly appearing at his side and joining Finn with a fiery hiss of her sabre. The hilt is cool against her palm as the white-hot gold of her weapon erupts in the gloom. 

Her breathlessness is forgotten as she glares at him, pain ignored even as her chest aches in protest. There is no doubt she has bruised a rib or two in that fall with Ben 

Snoke laughs cruelly, ruined face twisting in a taunting imitation of a smile. 

"My my......still that fiery spit of hope. May you never change young Skywalker..." 

Rey grits her teeth, her anger building as she seethes at his haughty smirk. Below her skin something bubbles, a scorching energy building that rages to get out. She tries to push it to the back of her mind, this crackling current of malevolence that vibrates through her fingertips. She breathes deeply, holding her boiling, violent hatred at bay. 

_Only just._

Snoke can sense it, his sick delight deepening at her growing loss of control. 

"Or perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps.... I should call you....Empress Palpatine _your grace_ ” he sneers, bowing mockingly at her as the standoff continues. 

Rey scoffs at him, that dark, furious look on her face deepening as her rage grows. 

Behind them, Rey can feel Ben struggling to his feet. Forcing as much weight as possible onto his uninjured right ankle as he stands unsteadily at her flank. 

She winces internally as she senses his breath at her back, cursing him for being so hardheaded and ignoring her instructions. Why couldn’t he just save himself and leave this mess to her? 

Snoke’s crystalline eyes sweep over to him, glee lighting his features as he takes in Ben’s unmistakable agony. Sweat pouring down his brow from the effort of staying upright. 

_Ben Solo is weak._

There’s a dangerous confidence in the creature’s face when his gaze comes to rest on Rey once more. 

“I can feel it little one....make no mistake, I can feel that wonderful darkness, that delicious _hate_ twisting in you." 

Rey’s gut lurches, that same buzz of deadly energy cresting just below the surface as she feels him brush over her mind. Stoking the destructive fires that crave to escape her clutches. 

“You know nothing” she spits back, her voice ragged and low. Rey clutches her sabre tighter, muscles tensing as she awaits his attack and readies her own. The Force around them is growing heavier and thicker with anger, like the calm before a storm. 

Or a firebomb waiting for ignition. 

“No?” Snoke laughs caustically, taking a slow step forward “You cannot hide from me little one, I see your mind. I see your _every_ intent!” 

“You see nothing more than what your own black heart wants see” Finn growls at him. 

Snoke laughs again, spinning his sabre once more in warning. 

“Young fool, you are blind to the power she holds.....the power that seeps from every fibre of her being.” 

Rey glares at him, her breath growing shallower as she fights to contain the sparking current that flows through her nerves. She clenches her sabre tighter, fists shaking as she fights against her own body. 

“Shut up, just shut up” she hisses out, chest constricting as she binds every muscle to maintain control. 

Snoke laughs again, his scarred face twisting into a mocking smile, enjoying her ire. 

Feeding off her suffering. 

“Now, now. There’s no need for rudeness!” 

“No” Ben’s usually warm baritone interjects, now laced with a dangerous calm Rey has never heard before. There is a deadly stillness to him as he brazenly steps forward, challenging Snoke’s arrogance with his own unexpected fearlessness. 

His trailing hand brushes by Rey’s thigh almost unnoticed, the clip on her blaster holster plucked open before she registers what he’s doing. 

“There is a need for rudeness” Ben grits out fiercely, raising his hand swiftly to send a rapid round of brutal shots towards his old master. The blaster roaring in his hands as it fires without pause. 

Snoke scrambles to parry the assault, throwing Ben off balance and sending the blaster skidding over the side of the dark bridge with a violent counterattack. The ensuing Force push takes him off his feet and Ben’s head immediately cracks against the hard, stone floor as he falls. 

Knocking him out cold. 

There is a pause, a moment of terrible silence and then, all at once, chaos breaks loose. 

Rey is not sure who moves first, Finn or Snoke, but in the blink of an eye their sabre’s clash in a series of merciless strikes. Onyx and violet blades arching through the air to cross in a burst of volcanic sparks. 

At first Rey is frozen, blindsided by the ferocity that explodes right in front of her. But then, as she senses Ben’s waning consciousness, her instincts snap her back to reality. 

Rey rushes to Ben’s side, thundering down the black stone bridge as Finn keeps Snoke pinned in place. A loud bellow rings around the huge cavern of the nexus as their sabre crackle and spit with each meeting of their blades. 

The pace of their duel is relentless, the Old Darkside master’s attention and energy taken up entirely by Finn’s tenacious and unending attacks. 

It grants Rey vital seconds. 

“Ben” she whispers worriedly, grasping his listless head between her hands as she tries to rouse him. He grunts low and pained, eyelids fluttering as she pushes him onto his side. Examining him further, she is relieved to find he is little more than concussed from the blow. Ben groans loudly again, eyes still shifting and screwing tight as he thankfully starts to come around. 

“Ben, why did you have to be so stupid?” she whispers at him, kissing his temple tenderly “You should have run.” 

Glancing over her shoulder, Rey is horrified to find Snoke is already starting to gain the upper hand on Finn. The initial intensity of her friend’s frenzied and unflinching offensive has now been subdued by Snoke, worn to exhaustion as he begins to match each blow with a powerful counter swing of his own. The dark warrior’s defensive stance turns to all-out attack as he makes bone rattling uppercuts and thrusts of his own, tiring his opponent easily as he uses the Force to slow Finn’s reactions. 

Rey knows her dear friend is no match for this power. Snoke is going to kill him. 

“Ben, come on. You need to get up” she orders gravely, shaking at his slumped shoulder with more force. Her love can only whimper and grimace at her in reply, mind still reeling from the impact. 

_Kark_. 

She will have to leave Ben to recover on his own. His eyes open as if on cue, staring up at her blearily. 

Rey sighs in relief, kissing his temple again before looking to Finn with dread. She cannot delay any longer. 

“Stay here!” she orders grimly, leaping to her feet and charging back down the ornate path to Finn with growing trepidation. 

Hoping she has not left it too late to intervene. 

“Come now young one” Snoke taunts as he sends Finn to his knees with cruel kick to the chest “you have fought valiantly......but it’s time for this fun to end.” 

The young Jedi is visibly exhausted, overused arms aching as he struggles to regain his breath. Even so, Finn is far from surrendering just yet. 

He makes a rash and ineffectual jab forward, his attack easily blocked by Snoke with a mocking chuckle. With a second kick to his chest, the dark creature knocks Finn onto his back. His violet sabre easily wrenched from his hand as Snoke draws it into his own. 

“Such spirit you have Master Finn, I commend you for it. But......I’m afraid I have grown tired of this game.” 

Shifting his long sabre in his right hand, he angles the dark red blade just under Finn’s chin. The younger man wheezes as he looks up at him frantically, bruised chest and panic stealing his breath. 

_He is going to die._

Using the Force to bind him, Snoke pulls Finn back up onto his knees. Smiling at him wickedly as he lines the blade of his lethal sabre up against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. His captive tries in earnest to move as the weapon draws closer, his whole body locked in place by Snoke’s influence. 

Paralyzed by the Force. 

The heat from the spitting blade is a scorching torture against Finn’s skin as it hangs perilously close to his jugular. 

“Any last words traitor?” Snoke smiles haughtily, tossing Finn’s sabre over his shoulder and adding a second hand to his own ignited blade. He swings the sinister thing over to his right shoulder and back again toward Finn’s neck tauntingly. Smiling with sick pleasure, he readies himself to take that final, fatal strike that will surely remove the Jedi’s head from his shoulders. 

“Long live the Republic” Finn spits back at him insolently, glaring up at the former leader of the First Order with little fear. Unwilling to give him any of the satisfaction he so clearly craves. 

The wraith simply chuckles darkly, shaking his scarred bald head as he moves closer. 

“Long live the Final Order” Snoke sneers, swinging his blade back and lurching forward to cut down this irritant of a man where he stands. 

But this cruel, definitive stroke never comes, Rey’s golden blade instead sailing through the open air to slice cleanly through Snoke’s extending arms. 

Severing them both at the elbow in a single, artful strike. 

There is no rush of viscous, crimson blood to follow and sully the ancient beauty of this place, but instead the scorching of bare flesh is heard in that long moment of disconcerted silence. 

Bu then comes the pain of reality as time catches up. 

Snoke screams in shock, a wailing, curdling sound so shrill, it sets Rey’s teeth on edge as he stumbles back in rage and agony. His cleaved forearms bounce across the cold, obsidian floor as they fall, spinning in tandem before rolling off the edge of the platform. Plunging past the precipice to be lost to the void below. 

“You stupid girl” Snoke bellows, collapsing in on himself as he cradles what is left of his arms against his chest. 

“Look what you have done” 

There is a nauseating, sickly smell of rotten, cooking flesh that invades her nostrils as Rey approaches his retreating form. The acrid, foul stench almost making her gag even as she strides forward, sabre held aloft. 

Snoke shrieks again, shuffling back as Rey draws closer, a look of dawning dismay overtaking that thunderous look of anger. 

_He fears her._

Snoke soon finds himself thrown to his bony knees when Rey reaches out and pins him to the floor. The Force strumming out of her in dark, menacing waves. 

“Wait” he stutters weakly, looking up at her beseechingly “maybe we could come to some sort of arrangement?” 

Rey looks at him coldly, holding out her hand as she calls Finns sabre into her palm. She lights it, crossing it with her own blade as she holds them both by Snoke’s neck. 

“No" she whispers back grimly, glaring down at him “Not for you" 

Snoke whimpers, already knowing there will be no quarter given. No pardon granted, not for him. 

Without another word, Rey pulls both fiery blades against one another as she draws them outwards against his throat with a feral roar. 

Snoke’s headless body falls back against the stone as Rey turns to Finn without a second glance. No longer willing to look upon that horrific, scarred demon for one moment longer. 

Not when she had partaken in such violence to end him so readily. 

In the depths of her conscious, that same rampaging beast takes pleasure in the savagery of this battle. Reveling in the execution. The bloodlust singing in her vein. 

It scares her, that surging of dark energy beneath her skin. 

But now is not the time to deal with this concerning rise within her. 

There are more pressing issues to attend to now. 

“Are you okay?” Rey asks carefully, offering Finn her hand with an empathetic look. Her friend lies dumbfoundedly on his back, having collapsed in frantic relief sometime after Rey’s well-timed interference. Feeling almost faint with the realization of just how close he’d come to losing his damn life. He looks up at her with wide, startled eyes, blinking rapidly as he tries to calm the sudden well of emotion that fills him. 

_Maker_ _....._ he’d almost left his unborn child fatherless. 

A second later and it would be his head lolling on the floor by Rey’s feet. 

Capturing Rey’s proffered hand with his own, Finn pulls himself up stiffly as he nods solemnly. 

“Yeah I’m okay, but.... the sonofabitch almost got me good” he murmurs, clutching at his injured side as he rises to his feet. His chest aches at the site Snoke had kicked him twice, flesh tender to the touch. 

“I know.....I’m sorry I let him get so close” Rey replies soberly, a look of contrition on her face as guilt washes over her. 

“It’s fine” Finn sighs heavily, toeing Snoke’s lifeless torso with his boot “you got him in the end”. 

There is a long, unhappy groan at the far end of the path, a deep masculine voice muttering to itself in the near gloom. 

“Ben?” Rey calls anxiously, concern flashing once more in her eyes. She cannot quite see him now at the far end of this path, the intricate white illuminations that had lit the space having faded to a dim glow on the stone. 

In the distance she can just about make out the shape of his broad shoulders and torso as he sits with his head in his hands. 

“Ben..... are you okay sweetheart?” she calls once more, stepping forward toward his shrouded form. 

“Yeah....I’m alright..... it’s not the first time this thick skull has gotten a knock” he replies dryly from the dark “.....but Maker does it hurt.” 

“You did hit your head pretty hard” Rey answers back with a sigh, making her way through the increasing darkness carefully as Ben’s outline grows fainter. 

“Maz has some stronger painkillers and bacta patches on the other side.....you think you can last until then?” 

There’s a rapid shuffling noise in the darkness, a soft guttural grunt that seems at odds with Ben’s physical state. 

He doesn’t answer. 

“Ben?” Rey tries again, her keen eyes straining to see his familiar body in the near inky blackness. Finn’s steps are slow behind her, a new hesitancy found in his gait the deeper they move into the gloom. 

“Rey...” he whispers nervously as he clutches at her arm, feeling as she does, the sudden spike of unpleasantness in the Force. A souring stagnation in the air. 

Ben signature is still there, strong as before as it wraps around hers. 

But there is a pang of panicked dread that rolls from his thoughts into her mind. 

“Ben?” Rey says shakily with growing trepidation “If you can hear me....please just say something”. 

There is another unseen flurry of movement, a low gurgling that cuts right to the centre of Rey’s chest. 

It sounds like choking. 

Handing Finn his sabre wordlessly, they both light their weapons as they inch forward. Posture tightening as they search the shadow’s desperately. 

There is another scramble of unsteady feet against the rock before a soft, menacing chuckle rings through the silence of their bated breathes. 

And it is with this sinister sound, the white patterns of the bridge ignite. Shining brighter and more garish then before. 

It is then they see it, clear as the air in their lungs. 

_Snoke_. 

He is not dead. 

Towering form in one piece, as though nothing has befouled him. 

“You really didn’t think it would be that easy” he laughs at them mockingly, gripping Ben’s throat tighter as he hold him aloft. Ben is too weak to fight the phantom off, fingers scratching futilely against his wiry wrist. His long legs kick feebly as he tries desperately to find solid ground underfoot. 

“Let him go” Rey bellows in terror, watching as Ben’s face begins to pale and contort as his lungs burn for air. 

“With pleasure, y _our grace_ ” Snoke laughs with scorn, forcefully throwing Ben through the air like little more than a rag doll. He grins with pleasure as he flings the helpless man over the side of the gleaming walkway, watching his former apprentice freefall into the unending darkness below. 

Rey screams as she sees Ben drop out sight, almost leaping over after him before Finn’s strong arms hold her back. She reaches out to grasp him, but finds nothing to cling to. 

“ _BEN_!” Rey shrieks again, hanging over the edge of the stone floor to hunt the many twisting pathways beneath for any sign of life. 

“BEEENNNN” 

Her tears are hot and salty against her cheeks, falling without restraint as an unimaginable grief fills her. Tormented by the image of him falling in slow motion from the safety of her arms. 

“Such a shame” Snoke sighs wearily “he really was such a wonderful apprentice.” 

Rey rounds on him with a tearstained, murderous expression. The rage she has kept in check now boiling to the surface as it finds little to no resistance for its thirst for destruction. 

With a wounded, furious roar she lets the bitterness overcome her, to fill up every space within her body until her only thought is the pursuit of swift revenge. Rey’s outstretched hands are hot as two glowing coals, as the blue flash of hateful Force lightning erupts from her skin. Forked lines of electricity hitting Snoke square in the chest as her booming cries grow more and more mournful. 

The odious, malformed creature laughs as he is hit again and again by her wrathful attacks. Gleeful even as he writhes and burns with pain. Unable to do anything but smile beatifically as her violence drives him to his knees. 

“Yes that’s it my girl, that’s it....give me everything you’ve got!” 

* * *

Ben jolts awake, head pounding as he comes to. At first all he can see is a blur of oscillating color high above him. His vision moves in and out of focus, concentration fuzzy from yet another blow to the head, as he tries to understand his surroundings. 

There is nothing but blurred darkness. 

What little color he registers is nothing more than formless shapes, his eyes no longer reacting at speed to the images they see. 

But he remembers. 

Even through the disorienting fog that wracks inside his mind, Ben remembers everything. 

He recalls the fall into the void, the feel of Snoke's hands on his throat and that woeful agony that filled Rey’s voice as he lost sight of her. 

He truly believed that had been the end. 

But he's alive. Stranded on a lone overpass so very far from his friends, but alive! 

"Rey" Ben mumbles, trying to make out her features in the dark above him. 

The Force is a turbulent, vibrating mass as it sinks back through him. Saturated with a rage and hate that sours the very air he breathes. 

"Rey?" He groans, pushing himself up into a seated position. Dread seizing him as that rage and hate seems to grow stronger, turning his stomach as it sticks in his throat. 

This acrid feeling deepens as he recognizes Rey's fury among the pain, her building loss of control cascading down their bond. 

_Maker!_ He needs to help her. 

Glancing up once more toward the flurry of lights above, Ben's clouded vision clears enough for him to see the truth of this awful matter. 

His heart stopping as he watches in horror at the sight that greets him. 

There is a crackling sound of uncontrolled, violent energy, as it surges through the stagnant atmosphere. Blazing everything in its path as his lovely,sweet Rey, stands right at the centre of it. 

This mass of searing blue lightning and licking flame. 

She is bellowing with such anguish and ferocity, she sounds inhuman. 

_Kark_! 

Rey thinks he's dead, and Snoke.....he is getting _exactly_ what he wants. 

The corruption of her soul. 

This is how the darkness wants her, unbalanced and rampant in her rage. Ripe for the picking. 

Ben gasps as this realization hits him harder than any blow he has ever received, knowing the dark and this desolate place will claim her. 

And his stunning, brilliant, kind girl, she will be no more. 

Kark it all to hell! How will he reach her? 

"REY!" 

* * *

Finn is terrified now, more terrified than he has ever been in his entire life. Because he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to stop the disaster that is unfolding in front of him. The Force is an endless black veil around them now, a barren supernova that grows and feeds upon her hatred. 

Finn cannot recognize the person standing here in front of him, this warped version of a person in the guise of his best friend. He cannot fathom the sight of this creature of the light, pushed into hellish grief. 

He is dejected and heartbroken by the loss of Ben Solo after everything they had been through. Devasted, and he had never really much liked the guy! 

Finn cannot imagine, for even one second, the torment Rey must feel. The loss she has been forced to suffer again. 

But that doesn’t mean he is going to do nothing, that he will allow her to fall so low. 

"Stop it Rey, please stop it" Finn screams at her, pleading her to calm. 

She doesn't seem to hear him, to even flinch when Finn pulls insistently on her rigid, reaching arms. Trying desperately to coax her away from this bleak scene of horror and despair. 

" _Please_ , you don't have to do this" he cries, his distress growing as the very structure they stand on vibrates violently against the strain of Rey’s erupting power. Each network of intricate pathways shaking as rogue bolts of her malevolent temper strike indiscriminately. The branches groaning under the pressure. 

Snoke fairs much less favorably under her vengeful assault. 

There is a cloying, sweet stench now filling the air, this oddly and not unwholly unpleasant scent of charred flesh and ruined cloth that makes Finn’s gut drop and twist in revulsion as it wafts into his nose. 

He gags, covering his mouth and nose with his dark tunic to stop the urge to vomit from overcoming him. 

The phantom of his nightmares is a worse sight to see than the smell as he dares a look at the scorched form of him. 

And yet, Snoke still laughs in amusement as he is torn apart. Layer by layer. 

Goading Rey to hit harder, deeper. 

“Yes... that’s it. Let your anger fuel you” he rasps out, a startling white toothed grin splitting his ruined face. The right side of his head is blackened and stripped to nothing more than scorched muscle by this point. But he does not feel the pain of it, his anodyne given by the pleasure he gains from the destruction of her virtue. 

This transformation of her being into the very thing she hates and fears. 

"Rey.... this is what he wants!" Finn roars at her, gripping her shoulders as he manages to shake her out of her weeping stupor for the briefest of moments. Her sorrowful eyes are wide and tearstained as she gazes up at him in desolation, that rush of vicious electricity fading from her fingertips. 

“You have to stop!” he insists more softly “He’s not worth losing yourself to the dark ”. 

Her whole-body shakes as the adrenaline and shock from this loss of control pumps through her vein, skin paling as her terrified, sorrowful eyes blink up at Finn with a dazed expression. 

“He killed him Finn, he killed Ben” she manages to sob, throat dry and pained as another tear rolls down her face. 

“I know” he replies painfully, his face full of sympathy and regret as he lays his broad hand on her shoulder. Gripping harder in some vain attempt at comforting her desolation. 

“But...... Ben would never want this”. 

Rey shudders as another hot, lonely tear rolls down her face. The searing pain she feels in her breast, tearing her up inside as though her very heart has been ripped from its cavity. 

“He deserves to die, to suffer....” she whimpers back, that same dark thirst for retribution making her eyes flash dangerously. Her gaze shifts back to the hunched, forlorn figure of her enemy, that same arrogant and endlessly provoking smirk smeared on his burned, foul mouth. 

As she glares, there is flickering of something wicked in hazel of her eyes. A shot of yellow through the iris that flashes as her anger rises again. 

Finn see’s the change in her in an instant, his grip tightening as her urges her away. 

“Rey please, let’s just leave. Snoke is weak and done for. Ben would not want you to go this way.” 

Rey snarls as she rips her arm from Finn’s grasp. 

“Do not tell me what Ben would want! You have no idea!” 

Snoke chuckles, melted skin splitting as he laughs louder. 

“Ben Solo never did have the stomach for this, he was weak..... not like you my Empress” 

“Shut up!” she grinds out furiously, throwing him through the air to land in a painful heap a few feet away. 

“Just shut up!” 

“Rey!” Finn exclaims, trying to catch her arm once more in desperation “Please!” 

But it is too late, Snoke has regained her grief-stricken attention. 

“He is better off dead my dear then living the life of an abject failure” the horrid spectre spits cruelly with a sneer, knowing his words have found their mark. Tearing and scratching at her fresh agony. 

And in that shifting moment of building anger, Rey is lost once more. The roar that tears from her throat, a wail of pure passion and misery as lightning thunders out of her hands to pull the demon asunder. 

“Stop, I’m begging you” Finn tries one more time, reaching for her but never quite closing the space between them before Rey rounds on him too. 

“Leave me alone!” she screams like an unholy fiend, launching him away from her in an impetuous and barbaric shove. Regretting her actions as soon as she does it, for it is too late. 

Finn is unable find purchase on the smooth, glassy floor as he slides to the edge, fingers scrambling upon the slippery surface until he plummets over the other side in a panicked gasp. 

“FINN!” Rey cries as she charges to the edge, her friend as lost to the darkness below as her beloved Ben before him. 

“NO!” 

The sob that wracks her chest in response almost immobilizes her. She cannot breathe, lungs struggling to pull in the oxygen her body craves as she starts to hyperventilate. 

_What has she done_!   
  
“Don’t you see my darling girl, creatures like us... we are destined to destroy the ones, we love.” Snoke calls to her in the mocking imitation of sympathy. The former figure of terror is of no threat to her now, his body so broken by her vendetta, all he can do is taunt and needle at her open wounds. 

“I am nothing like you!” she whispers back fiercely, eyes flashing yellow again as that hatred bubbles within her once more. 

“Not yet, but you will be.” Snoke growls ominously “mark my words, you will be” 

* * *

Finn screams helplessly as he falls, his eyes stinging as the cold cavern air whips over his face. 

_Maker, he is going to die._

He is moving too fast to catch any of the platforms and walkways that rush by him as he plummets into that eternal dark. The Force fails him as he tries in vain, to grip something, _anything_ to slow his fatal descent. 

He has all but given up hope of salvation, when an unseen hand reaches out and grabs him as he whistles past another dark, unsettling bridge. Jolting him a stop as the large hand grips his wrist tightly. 

  
Finn gasps in equal shock and terror as his whole life rest on this unknown savior’s strength. Survival dependent on his sweaty, soft skin remaining within his rescuer large, strong fingers. 

“I got you Traitor, don’t worry I got you" Ben’s unmistakable baritone rumbles through gritted teeth, breath heavy and strained as he pulls Finn to safety. It is clear he is still in immense pain, even as he uses his last reserves to haul Finn’s stocky body onto the platform. The roar that shakes from his chest is a low, feral snarl of frustration and agony. 

But he does not stop. 

Finn collapses onto the cold, unforgiving floor in relief as he meets solid ground once more. 

" _Maker...._ I never thought I'd ever be so glad you see your stupid mug again Solo" he laughs despite himself, almost in hysterics as his racing heartbeat slows. Beyond relieved to see that dour, unfriendly face again. 

“Yeah, me either” Ben shoots back sardonically, groaning as he falls back on the stone beside Finn. 

“Good catch” Finn adds with a surprising levity, exhaling heavily as his adrenaline shot nerves cause him to tremble. 

Kriffing hell that had been close. 

A silence falls between them, the sound of their heavy, shallow breathes the only sound that interrupts the quiet. The pause is more than needed, bodies drained and spirits bruised. 

Exhaustion binds them in her hold, their limbs leaden and stiff from the battles they’ve fought. 

They are drunk on sheer fatigue and would be all too easy to let their eyelids droop in gentle acceptance. To admit defeat and allow the pain and tiredness to win. 

But then, a flicker of light dances for a moment a hundred metres or so in the distance. Drawing them out of their reveries and back to the bitter truth. 

_Rey_. 

The two men lie side by side, staring up at the maze passages that wind above them with sinking hearts. Abject terror seizing them now as their exhaustion and strained bodies are forgotten. 

There is another flash of vivid cerulean that threads the dark, illuminating Rey’s lone, broken figure as it stands above an unmoving mass at her feet. 

The light within her growing dimmer by the second. 

“I can’t reach her Finn” Ben says desperately, deep voice soft and full of sorrow as he admits that awful certainty that haunts him 

“She’s too far gone to hear me....the bond.... it’s still too weak”. 

“The dark is trying to turn her Solo, we need to do something!” Finn answers back fiercely, pushing his shattered body up into a seated position. 

“We can’t give up”. 

Ben turns to look at him, his expression defeated. The older man’s lip trembles as he stares back at him despondently, very much looking like he’s about to cry 

“How? My ankles busted.... and the Force.....I don’t have the strength to make the jump after the cave.” 

Finn’s fierce frown falls, his confidence waning. Truth be told, he’s not sure he can make the jump either. 

Kark it all to hell, they are stuck. Destined to impotently watch from afar as the girl they love falls to the dark. 

There is another raging roll of lightning and the whole structure trembles around them.   
Finn’s gut lurches as that same disquieting sense of pressing dark grows thicker, enveloping he and Ben in its insidious hold. 

“Bantha Poodoo” he hisses to himself, feeling all hope fade within until his hand falls upon something unexpected at his hips. The shape of their deliverance found in the simplest of places, tied to his belt with a rustic double knot. This small, insignificant thing he find snuggly set against his thigh, brings with it a rush new optimism and opportunity. 

Finn wants to smack himself in the face for being so stupid. 

How could he have forgotten so easily what Rose had given him? 

"Can you stand?" Finn asks solemnly, his chocolate brown eyes studying Ben's sober face carefully as he whips around to face. 

Ben blinks back at him blankly with a furrowed brow, thrown by his question. 

“Possibly....” he replies hesitantly, confusion growing as his restless companion leaps to his feet. 

“There is no _possibly_ ” Finn says crossly, hauling Ben up from the floor into a seated position “There is only... yes or no”. 

Ben scowls at him, wincing as his head aches and ribs crack in reply to Finn’s jerking insistence. He pushes him away and sits back against the stone even as Finn looks down at him unperturbed. 

“So what is it?” Finn continues “Because if it’s a yes…..and you _can_ get your heavy ass up off the floor, I might just have a way out of here”. 

Ben’s morose expression lightens, his mouth hanging open as shock replaces that defeated look of sorrow. His eyes are wide as they meet Finns in an expectant stare. 

“How?” he splutters back, leaning forward with disbelieving but hopeful eyes. 

Raising the small but heavy-duty grappling gun in his hand, Finn cannot help but smirk a little. 

“With this.....” 

Ben looks dubiously at the micro ascension cable, already calculating in his head the tensile strength they will need to hoist their considerable bulk up the long chasm. 

“You are NOT serious......you can’t really believe it’s going to hold us both?” he asks darkly. Finn scoffs loudly. 

“Knowing my Rose and her clever customizations, I would say it’s pretty much a given.” 

Ben doesn’t look convinced by his eager pronouncements, but what else have they got to lose? This is their only chance to reach Rey. 

“Come on” Finn says more amiable, offering his hand to Ben as he leans closer “There’s only one way to find out. Can you stand?” 

Ben sighs heavily, taking the other man’s dark hand in his. 

“Yes …..I can stand.” 

Finn yanks him artlessly to his feet, pulling him into an impromptu and increasingly awkward hug. 

“We can do this....” 

Ben stands there stiffly as the shorter man releases him with a look of cheerful confidence. 

“Please refrain from touching me again like that" Ben mutters slowly, eyeing Finn with a bewildered annoyance. Finn simply snorts and adjusts the grappling gun, readying the bolt to fire. 

“It’s cool, we’re not there yet” he laughs to himself, enjoying the uncomfortable look on Ben’s face before turning his attention to the farthest bridge. 

Features growing somber once more as he takes aim. 

* * *

It’s getting harder to focus, to keep her chest from heaving in utter heartbreak as Rey fights to keep her composure. To hold herself aloft when her very foundations are crumbling below her. 

Rey doesn’t know how much longer she can last. 

There is an exhaustion that is spreading through her now, her bones weary and spirit broken. She feels her energy levels drop to nothing as that fiery anger that feeds this ruinous power, drains her to her limit. 

Rey collapses onto her knees as that sparking manifestation of enmity, fades from her fingertips. 

Her breathing shortens, inhalation forming in rapid, gulping pulls of air into her chest. Her abused lungs desperate for relief and rest as she trembles in defeat. 

She feels broken, lost and without direction. 

There is a sorrow, a great, big black dog of depression that presses upon her back now as she tries to digest the devastation of this bleak day. 

She has lost everything, and everyone that had ever truly mattered to her. The ones she loved best, gone in the blink of an eye. 

Rey sobs, her head falling to the cold, unwelcoming onyx floor as she cries. Her hatred and thirst for revenge, have brought her nothing but pain and torment. 

How will she ever return to Rose with this terrible, crushing truth? 

How can she ever face her, knowing she has killed the father of her unborn child with utter recklessness? 

Rey cries harder when she thinks of Ben, her heart obliterated by the knowledge, she could not save him. 

_Again_. 

“There, there sweet Rey, I know it hurts.....but those simpletons are truly not worth your tears” Snoke rasps, once menacing voice now little more than a whisper. His vocal cords frayed and torn by the hell she has put him through. 

Rey does not know _how_ he is still conscious, let alone alive, his body little more than a blackened, wizened carcass at this point. 

But then again, the dark truly has no mortal form to hold it prisoner. Snoke is just a vessel for something deeper, older and infinitely more insidious. 

“Let go” the beaten ghoul rasps again “just give in my child and all your pain will drift away. Join us, as you were destined to do.” 

“Never” Rey screams, throat raw as she buries her face in the crook of her arm. Sobbing louder as her despair clutches at the empty space her heart once beat. The creature huffs in exasperation, none too pleased by her defiance. 

“Give in, let the dark’s power bathe you in its fire.” he urges, voice growing louder. 

“Do are you were born to do, lead the Sith as your grandfather before you.” 

Snoke purrs as his voice splits into two, this sudden and unearthly overtone jarring Rey’s senses. Putting her on alert once more. 

There is movement behind her. An unnatural scuttling across the smooth stone that sets her nerves on edge. 

Rey raises her head, survival instinct telling her it would be wise to be on her guard. There is no light around her as her eyes sweep the perimeter, seeing nothing but ominous shadows amidst the gloom. 

She knows almost immediately that Snoke’s shattered form is no longer where she had left him, nothing but empty space where once he lay. 

Rey scrambles to her feet, tears drying as her gut lurches in shaking anticipation. There is something stalking her in the shadows, circling her depleted body as it waits. Watches for the moment her concentration dips. 

Finn had been right; this had the phantom’s plan all along. It had wanted to break, to wear her down until she was too weak to stop its influence. 

Rey trembles with dread as she sees, she has played right into its cunning hands. 

But this doesn’t mean she is going go down without a fight. She would rather die. 

The tremor in her hands does not stop her from igniting her sabre with a bold smirk, unafraid to face the death knell even as it haunts her consciousness. 

“You are delusional if you think for one second, I am going to give myself willingly to your twisted crusade. Your appetite for power and destruction.” she retorts in challenge, turning quickly with the sound of each unseen footstep to track the hunting beast. 

“Who said it was going to be willingly” the wraith of death hisses back, sunken eyes appearing before her in the light of her golden sabre. What is left of Snoke’s face smiles at her, rictus grin a horrifying sight in the middle of all that scorched, melted flesh. The white of his skull showing through in patches at the edge of his ruined forehead. 

Rey gulps in revulsion but does not cede in her conviction. She will not be intimidated. 

  
"You can’t have me, not now, not ever" Rey proclaims firmly, her voice low and resolute as she defies this ancient, malevolent being. She presses the tip of her scorching sabre to the edge of Snoke’s mottled throat as she steps forward. 

Unafraid and unbowed. 

At first Snoke’s eyes widen, as if surprised by her temerity. He blinks at her in muted silence for a moment before his grin widens, cracking his leathery skin as his mouth gapes open. 

"My dear" the creature chuckles, form shifting as it walks towards her angry blade and allows the sabre to breach the mutating mass of its upper chest. 

Snoke’s face and body shrivels and shrinks around the weapon, twisting into the distorted, hunched form of her grandfather. Those yellow, crooked teeth of his bared in the sickest of smiles. 

"How blind you have been". 

Rey’s heart drops as she understands, she knows, he cannot be stopped. 

Palpatine laughs again, the sound a caustic and mocking cackle that chills her blood. 

There is no escape. 

The Emperor pushes her hand down easily, dislodging her scorching sabre from his chest as he looks at her like the cruel, unrelenting predator she knows he is. 

He sighs, yellow eyes almost remorseful before he binds her with the Force. Holding her in place before he makes his final, heinous admission. 

“You...... are not the Skywalker we want”. 

With that his ghoulish hand jolts out, splaying across her abdomen and rising her up off the floor. Rey cries out in shock and surprise as a searing pain erupts within her, a new and awful agony twisting in her centre. 

It is unbearable. 

She sobs again knowing she cannot fight him off, her body weak and overused. Drained by her own foolish anger and stupidity. 

She is all alone. 

* * *

Finn rises first, winching Ben up the final few feet as their trusty hook holds firm in the unforgiving rock. 

They hear Rey’s agonised scream in the dark before they register the hysteria inducing sight that accompanies it. 

“Maker....” Finn exclaims, lip trembling as he recognizes the unmistakable form of Sheev Palpatine at the other end of the bridge. Holding Rey aloft as she twists in agony. 

He can feel Ben’s rage and terror growing in equal measure beside him, jaw tensing as he watches the same scene with a murderous stare. 

“Give me your blaster” he orders coldly, bright brown eyes never leaving the monstrous sight as his features tighten in resolution. Dauntless to the consequences. 

Finn blinks up at him in a daze, hesitating for a moment too long for Ben’s patience to take. He grabs the lapels of Finn’s jacket as yanks the hapless man toward him with gritted teeth. 

“Give. Me. Your. Blaster. Now!” he spits out, aggression not dropping one bit even as Finn hands him the weapon with a nod. Ben lets him go with a grunt, adjusting the blaster in his hands as he sets out their next steps in a rush of tight, measured breathes. 

“Grab Rey once I start shooting, get her out of here and don’t look back......you hear me”. 

Finn’s face falls as he understands the implication of this promise, the self-sacrifice implicit in this plan. 

“Ben...” he begins but Solo interrupts with a threatening growl. 

“Grab Rey....don’t you dare argue”. 

The light in Ben’s eyes is gone as he glares at Finn furiously, amber irises now an ebony coal as he stares him down. 

“Just get her out alive” he demands, antagonism toward his ally relaxing a little as Finn nods again in agreement. Knowing there may be no other way. 

“On your signal Solo” he says quietly, drawing his sabre and readying his muscles to run. 

Ben nods, raising the blaster with a fiery expression. Aiming hard and true. 

“On three”. 

* * *

Palpatine’s eyes are growing brighter with each second as the pain worsens in her gut. A tearing, roiling agony exploding through every sinew and nerve. 

She cannot help but cry and plead for him to stop. Knowing in her heart he never will. 

Her grandfather laughs heartily, finding pleasure in her anguish. 

“Oh, my dear, do not fret, it will all be over soon. No one can stop me now”. 

There is a sudden whistling sound in the deadly silence, a flash of heat skims by Rey’s thigh before Palpatine grunts in surprised pain. Another sizzling bolt grazes his shoulder as he ducks and lets Rey drop to the floor. 

The old Emperor roars as he spies the brazen culprit, a figure approaching out of the darkness. 

“Surprised to see me Crater Face?” Ben mellifluous voice taunts, sending a shot of joy through Rey’s shattered heart. 

_He’s alive._

She sobs again, this time in utter relief as she turns to see him limping toward her attacker. A familiar weapon held aloft in his hand as his eyes remain fixed on Palpatine’s position. The blaster is Finn’s, she’s almost certain. The charcoal and blue matte finish, a special mod he’d made only a few months before. 

It gives her hope, renews her spirit and revives her will to survive. 

_She is not alone._

“Ben Solo, you really don’t know how to die, do you?” Palpatine snarls, clutching at the smarting burn on his shoulder. 

“I could say the same time about you” Ben spits back petulantly. He inches forward, not taking his eyes off the Emperor for a moment. The Emperor does not budge, glaring at the last of the Skywalker bloodline with malice. 

Rey expects him to launch at Ben any minute, but the wraith of darkness stays atypically still. 

Watching. 

Waiting. 

So cruelly aware Ben cannot match him physically, the pain in his face like a beacon in the dark. The opportune moment to end this fool’s life will come if he is patient. 

Ben groans internally, knowing he will have to do something drastically stupid to draw him out and away from Rey. Seeing the wheels of his enemy’s mind turn. 

Thankfully, he and Finn had thought that far ahead. 

He glances to Rey and gives her an affectionate but melancholy smile, looking at her so softly it breaks her heart all over again. 

_It’s going to be okay_ – he whispers to her mind, a small reassuring nod following before he turns to glare at Palpatine. 

Ready and willing to do what it takes to keep her safe. 

“Three.” Ben says so plainly, it blindsides Rey when he nonchalantly tosses a single, unseen Corellian spark grenade at his enemy’s feet. The small device whistling low and urgent as its little red-light beeps rapidly in warning. Ben launches himself as far as he can in the opposite direction as Palpatine roars in fury, knowing it’s too late to avoid the inevitable blast. 

Rey gasp audibly as she finds herself being dragged back to safety by an unseen ally, the Force cloaking her against the worst as the charge explodes in a massive ball of flame and rock. It blows a large chunk of the bridge apart, shattering the ancient stone alongside the portals that stand on either side. There is a shimmer of glass as it rains down from the other cracked mirrors above, the blast wreaking havoc in every direction. 

Through the smoke and low flames, Rey whimpers as she sees Ben struggle to his feet unharmed, safe but trapped upon the far side of the blast site. She moves toward him with one faltering, uneasy step, her body still frail from Palpatine’s attack on her, when a single strong arm stops her. Pulling her back toward a hard and waiting chest. 

Finn’s grip is tight and unyielding around her as he picks her up and throws Rey over his shoulder. Racing in the opposite direction and leaving Ben to face the broadening chasm alone. His guilt rising with ever thud of his feet against the onyx stone. 

One the other side of the falling bridge, Ben’s struggles with the grapple gun, straining to free the lodged hook as lies wedged in the solid stone. All around him the cavern begins to collapse in on itself, large debris striking the ground in loud, booming thumps. 

Rey can only watch in horror as the situation becomes more and more dire. 

“STOP” she screams, beating on Finn’s back as Palpatine rises in the shadows behind Ben. 

“PLEASE STOP!”. 

“I can’t” Finn replies remorsefully, racing on toward to portal that had brought them here. 

“I promised I’d keep you safe.”. 

Rey squirms in his iron grip, desperate to get free as she throws her fists against his shoulders with more and more force. But Finn keeps running, unmoved by her anger and thinking only of Rose and the unborn child he longs to meet on the other side of this hellish place. The thought carry’s him on, fuels his worn muscles and pushing him faster as he takes them closer to freedom. 

"No Finn...please....we can't leave him." Rey wails, her fists stilling as she tries one last time to reason with him. But Finn ignores her once more. 

Rey keeps her eyes on Ben even as his figure shrinks with every stride forward, watching powerlessly as a firefight breaks out on the other side of the cavern. 

"PUT ME DOWN NOW!." she screams, her temper and upset rising "I CAN’T LEAVE HIM" 

Finn pressing on and does not answer, the portal to home coming blessedly into view. However, Rey's patience has run out, ruthlessly single minded as she trips her friend midstride. 

He grunts in pain as they hit the solid ground. 

Rey is on her feet and tearing down the crumbling path before Finn can even think to stop her. His body still sprawled out on the floor in shock as she streaks away. 

He looks between the portal and his fleeing best friend with a reluctant sigh. Pushing to his feet and racing after her without a second thought. 

* * *

"BEN!" 

"BEN, I'M COMING CYAR'IKA" 

Rey's voice is like a light in the dark as it calls to him. Shrill and frantic, but still the most beautiful sound in the Galaxy he has ever heard. 

_Bloody stubborn woman_ , she couldn't just let Finn take her back as he'd planned. And yet, he always knew she'd come for him, just as he would for her. 

Her footsteps thunder across the collapsing path behind him, stone tumbling away with every impact of her small feet. 

Ben doesn’t turn to greet or even acknowledge her approach, for he cannot take his eyes off Palpatine now. The seething, odious creature dodges every shot he fires, screeching like some eerie banshee as he draws closer. 

_Gods, he’s a sitting duck._

Palpatine smiles at him wickedly, preparing himself to fire back. 

* * *

Rey doesn’t think, she can only act on instinct knowing she cannot make the jump to reach him. 

Her sabre is cool in her hand before she arches her arm back and throws it with all her might through the dark. 

“BEN!” she shouts, hoping he will understand. 

Watching as he extends his arm and catches the flipping weapon, she knows he has. 

Palpatine’s fingertips explode with light as soon as Rey’s sabre erupts in his hand. Blocking the surge of blue lightening as it hurtles toward him. 

Ben roars, only just holding off the fatal energy from reaching him as his tired muscles scream against the pressure. Palpatine is just too strong. 

He is soon forced to his knees, body overcome by the sheer might of his power. The sabre shakes in his hands, hilt creaking under the grip of his hands. 

He cannot move. 

* * *

Rey begins to pant, panic setting in as she watches Ben slowly being crushed by the might of her grandfathers power. The jump is too far for her to bridge, but she cannot do nothing. 

She will not watch him fall!

That same sparking rage starts to prickle at her fingertips, overcoming her senses even as Finn screams at her not to let go. That same darkness and hatred suddenly reigniting within her. 

She cannot control it. 

“REY.....DON’T. PLEASE DON’T” 

She cannot stop it. 

There is second of stillness as the Force lightening curls out of her, a moment of peace where everything freezes in place and anything is still possible for them all. But as time catches up, the penalty must be paid. 

Finn bears witness to it all, in tragic, helpless anguish. Watching through tears as the bolts of blue scream through the dark toward Palpatine, crackling angrily as they seek his cloaked, stooped form. And missing as he diverts the stream at the last second. 

Straight into Ben. 

Striking him square in the chest as Rey’s sabre tumbles out of his lax fingers. He kneels there upright, mouth hanging open in pained surprise, before looking down slowly at the open scorch mark on the left side of his breast. 

Ben’s eyes roll back into the back of his head as he falls back against the rupturing bridge. 

Motionless. 

* * *

Rey shudders. 

Not quite believing her eyes as her tears obscure her vision. 

“No....” she whimpers, utterly winded by the blinding pain that fills her now. It is so much worse than before. 

“Ben?” she calls, her voice a shaky warble of despair. He doesn’t answer, doesn’t move, doesn’t even seem to breath as she looks at him desperately. Rey falls to her knees as a defeated and deafening wail leaves her body. 

She’s killed him. 

“You see my child” Palpatine croons softly across the chasm, this look of utter pride and victory on his horrible face “You are doomed to the hurt the ones you love.” 

Her eyes whip up to meet his sadistic yellow glare, a new and deadly fire rising within her. She does not care how weak this fight has made her; she does not care how much of her life force Palpatine has already drained from her. 

She will end him, even if it kills her too. 

Rey screams as she lets loose with everything she has got left. 

This time, Finn stays mute and can only watch once more in resigned silence. 

Palpatine wails as the explosion of power surges passed his defenses as and scours through him. 

Rey keeps pressing, roaring through her tears as the brutal blue energy burst out of her in pulsating waves. Her consciousness starts to wane to black just as the far side of the bridge gives way. 

Taking Palpatine and Ben with it. 

She reaches for him, using the last of her strength to find him even as her mind shuts down. 

_Ben_. 

“Let go Rey, please let go! Don’t do this” Finn’s warm voice calls in her ear, cradling her against his chest. 

“Let go” 

* * *

For the longest time there is only black. A peaceful void of warmth that holds her in its embrace. 

She feels almost happy here, free from all her pain and grief as she floats gently in the vast nothingness of it all. 

Rey is not sure how time passes, for measurements of metre seem almost inconsequential. There is only warmth. 

And peace. 

And numbing freedom from life. 

But there are moments she sees rushes of color amid the black, hears soft words of comfort and _senses_ a reassuring hand upon her brow. 

Those are the moments she most feels alive. 

Those are the moments she remembers. 

* * *

It is her hearing that comes back first, the almost indistinct sound of hurried whispering permeating the fog of her anesthetic as she floats gently in the warmth of the bacta tank. She knows somehow she is back on Chandrila, the ancient bacta tank way too complicated to set up on the Falcon. 

"She's going to be okay, they both will." Maz’s voice promises fiercely “You did everything you could Finn.” 

Rey's consciousness dips again, those words of burgeoning hope lighting new optimism in her. 

_Both_ , Maz had said both. Maybe she had held onto Ben long enough to save him. 

Rey returns to the dark as the anesthetic takes her under again, relief her last thought.

It is her eyesight that returns sometime later, finding herself now lying upon a medical bed and free of the cumbersome tank as she awakes. 

Rey blinks blearily as she scans the too bright medical bay, her body still encased in a bacta suit as she shifts painful on the bed. Finn sits slumped on a nearby armchair, Rose curled just under his chin as they both sleep soundly a few feet away. 

She can hear the low whirring of medical droids on the other side of the bay, their calm, dispassionate voices communing together as they watch her vitals. 

_She is alive._

But where is Ben? She cannot feel him in this cold, clinical room. 

Perhaps, he has been taken elsewhere. 

His injuries more severe.

Rey lays back deeper into the foam mattress, too exhausted to move further or even think beyond an urge to sleep. She closes her eyes, letting the lulling, ambient noise of the medical bay wash over her and coax her back to rest. 

_But_. 

At the edge of her consciousness something tugs, brain registering a sound at odds with the rhythm of her heart. A rapid, high thrumming beat counterpointing her own on the EKG. 

Rey forces her eyes open, head turning as her gaze falls on the small monitor to her right. 

Two distinct lines bleeping down at her in green. She bolts up to see the monitor better. 

“What?” she whispers aloud in disbelief. This makes no sense. 

Her own heart rate rises as she watches the second, racing line remain static in rhythm. 

There are two heartbeats on the monitor but the machine is only hooked up to her?

A med droid swiftly appears at her side, scanning her shaking body as it beeps at her indignantly. 

_[Patient must remain calm to keep child viable!]_

Rey blinks up at the droid in utter confusion, her violent shaking getting worse as it occurs to her now in brutal clarity, _Maz had not been talking about Ben_. 

“Child? What do you mean child?” 

The droid beeps at her again in tired irritation. 

_[Patient diagnosed as; pregnant. Gestational age of embryo; eight weeks]_

Rey’s stomach plunges as she registers the information. 

“I’m pregnant” she whispers in disbelief, her breathing growing frantic as she falls back against the bed once more. There is a rush of liquid in her veins as the droid administers her a sedative, protocols demanding it stems her rising panic and distress. 

_[Patient must remain calm to keep embryo viable]_

Her eyes start to flutter as the drug starts to take hold. 

A baby.

Her and Ben's baby is growing inside her.

Maz had said , _she's going to be okay, they both will._

Two heartbeats.

That would mean?

 _Ben._

He didn’t make it back. 

…...... 

On the furthest side of existence, a man falls through the roof of a cave. Tumbling into the dark waters of a raging pool below. 

He gasps as he surfaces in frantic, uneven strokes before sinking to the murky depths below. 

Trapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly: BEN IS NOT DEAD.
> 
> Secondly: Yes I am a cruel bitch for making Rey think she killed him.
> 
> Thirdly: I am sorry if any of you are crying right now.
> 
> Fourthly: Congrats to all who guess Rey was pregnant many chapters ago. I love a Reylo a baby :)
> 
> Fifth: I will return asap!
> 
> Finally: chapter 19 will include some substantial time jumps.


	19. Oizys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey deals with the realities of loss as her friends try to find a way to comfort her.
> 
> AKA....All aboard the REYLO pain train :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest readers,
> 
> To quote the inimitable Obi Wan, hello there! It has been too long.  
> Admittedly this chapter has been a long time coming and I apologise for the delay....life unfortunately has been very complicated these last few months and my creative inspiration for this fic took a considerable dive.
> 
> Thankfully the story began taking shape again this last fortnight after WEEKS of struggle. I am mostly happy with it and hope you like it too. I want to thank everyone who commented during the hiatus, you know who you are and you were a real morale booster, so thank you.  
> Every kudos and comment is so greatly appreciated, no matter how short :)  
> Thank you to all those who make the time to give me feedback, it is more helpful than you know!
> 
> As I seem to make my readers cry, I want to preface this chapter with a warning, things are about to get emotional. I mean very emotional!
> 
> Good time are not too far away, but there's a lot more story to be told before our protagonists reach their happy ending.
> 
> Staff safe everyone.
> 
> -Love, RedCatRen

It is the large, kind eyes of Maz Kanata that greet Rey when she finally wakes again. Her friend’s little sunburst face, full of quiet sympathy as she smiles at her from her low set hospital chair. 

"Good morning my child, how glad I am to see you again." 

Rey smiles back wanly, her head still a little fuzzy from the lingering sedative she'd been given. 

" _Maz_ " she whispers in a growing relief, her voice a soft and scratchy mewl in the quiet of the medical bay. Rey’s throat hurts as she struggles to form another word, vocal cords hoarse from lack of use and the dry, sterile air of the room. 

Rey tries again, her dazed features hardening as she becomes more and more lucid. Her vision sharpens, features becoming clearer as the fog of anesthesia fades. 

Then, she sees it. 

The starkness of this place. 

The friends are utterly alone in this cold, open room, _and R_ _ey_ , she knows in her heart the answer to that sudden, burning question before she even asks it. 

"Where's Ben?" 

Maz's expressive, shrewd eyes grow sad as it washes over, the burden of this truth waiting to unfold. She rises from her chair and steps close, licking her thin, dark lips carefully as her head bows low. 

"He was lost child" 

Her voice is thick with sorrow and regret as she rigidly stares at her shoes, small head hung as though the fault is hers 

"Finn could not save him. I am sorry". 

Rey nods feebly, feeling her lip trembling as heavy, hot tears well at edge of her eyes. 

"But no one is ever really gone, right? " she sniffles as she speaks, her eyes glassy and bleak. Maz raises her head slowly and smiles at her kindly. Reaching to grasp Rey's much larger hand in her own with a heavy sigh. 

"Yes, my sweet, no one is ever really gone" she answers softly, squeezing her slim fingers with little force. 

"But..." 

Maz pauses, her weathered face somber as her voice drops low. 

"....I fear this time, he can only live on in our hearts and in our memories.” 

Rey’s lip trembles harder as she begins to cry in earnest, her desolate eyes squeezing shut as a sob wracks her chest. Maz kisses her hand, her own large eyes misty before she speaks for the last time. 

“And for this, my darling, I am eternally sorry. How we all wish these things were different ". 

Rey's desperate, plaintive cries cut Maz to the quick, helplessly watching with the deepest sympathy as her friend seems to implode. This once subdued grief rising to the fore as a real and weeping wound opens up in her heart. Her young body twists in upon itself until she lies upon her side, curling up into a fetal position as she hugs her knee’s closer to her chest. 

There is no hope then, not by Maz’s usually pragmatic and ever faultless judgement anyway. 

Rey cries harder, letting the hurt and sorrow flow through like a raging river. Swelling waters washing away the vague dreams of yesterday. The thoughts and hopes of a home they will never share. 

She cries and cries until nothing but the dry, cracked sound of her rattling chest is the only sign of this unrelenting lament. Maz’s small, strong hands holding her steady and present all through the storm. 

Weathering the pulsing rage that undertones her grief, the Force only a weak crackle within the young master, but not without its danger. The medical droids that dare venture close to monitor her fluxing heart rate, beep nervously as the ground beneath them quakes visibly. 

They do not approach fully, perhaps thinking the better of risking her tempestuous mood. 

“Rey....Rey my child” Maz says softly, cutting through the tension as her small body clamors up the bed to lie by her friend's side. She began to run hands gently down Rey’s loose, chestnut hair as she tries in earnest to sooth her sorrow. 

“Breath.....just breath.....”. 

Rey hiccups, her body tense as something dark vibrates from ever sinew of newly revived muscles. 

The droids whistle low and anxious as the monitors and equipment start to shake more violently, Rey’s heartrate racing now. 

“Rey please.....just try and breath.....you need to calm down....I know it’s hard”. 

Maz kisses the crown of her head as she holds her closer. 

“You have to try..... to give you both a chance.....the baby...” 

Rey’s eyes snap open, the throbbing, unstable rumble of her power ceasing as reality comes crashing back in. 

_Baby_. 

Her hands flutter to her abdomen, feeling perhaps for the first time a sudden, tiny burst of light within. A little soul saying hello. 

To her right, the apprehensive droids trundled forward, casting a concern glance at the slowing line of her erratic pulse. The second line of her unknown child flickers on steadily, little fluttering heart unperturbed by its mother’s moment of hysteria. 

As the worst of the danger passes, one of the droids approaches her, a small needle held aloft in its thin, mechanical hand. 

Maz pushes the dull, indignant machine aside with a growl. 

<Patient requires sedation, stress causes adverse effects to pregnancy>. 

“The patient just needs a moment” the old, wise pirate retorts “just give her a chance to breath.” 

The medical droid beeps back a series of rapid expletives but retractes the syringe as requested. 

<Additional time granted. Sedative will be administered upon renewed signs of undue stress.>. 

“Fine” Maz spits back, shooting the retreating droid a withering look. 

Rey is worryingly still beside her, the soft rise and fall of her chest the only sign of movement for a long time. 

“Maz....I am eight weeks pregnant.....how is that possible?” her hoarse, despairing voice whispers as the frenzy of before fades to a low . 

“Rey....I think you know how that is possible” Maz replies dryly, but not unkindly “I always presumed you and Ben....had…you know… been intimate?”. 

Rey’s face is red and blotchy as she turns in the starched white sheets, her eyes large and filled with a dejected confusion. 

“Yes” she mumbles back with slight embarrassment “we were a few times, but.....I have the implant?” 

Maz’s eyes narrow as she too looks at Rey in mild confusion. 

“You do? The droids never found one in any of your assessment scans…...” 

“….I got one put right here after the battle of Crait” Rey answers grimly, her fingers tracing up her arm to find the small, discrete scar of the surgical incision. 

“All the female officers did....you know....in case of hostile capture. It should be right here.” 

Rey’s eyes widen as her fingers stall upon her bicep. 

Breath stuttering loudly as a trailing pad meets a trio of long, thin lines on her left arm, the longest of the fresh, shallow scars just below the faded mark of the fertility blocker. It is occurs to her now, in this moment of dawning clarity and sinking dread, it is the same small patch of marred skin, a once ravenous Bogwing had ripped apart in a single act of desperation and hunger. 

The memory of those cleaving claws a painful reminder of her days alone on Dagobah. 

Pressing down harder, Rey meets only the knotted, tough fibres of her own healed flesh. Horror dawning. 

The implant is gone. 

_Kriff_ _it, the_ _Bogwings_ _had ripped it out on Dagobah_ _and she’d never noticed!_

How had she been so oblivious to this glaring change in her body? 

Maker above, Rey could not even count on one hand the number of times she and Ben had gone to bed since then! 

Completely unprotected and under the mistaken assumption her birth control was still intact! 

It was entirely possible, this tiny, little accident of theirs had been conceived that very same night of the attack. 

Given her current luck, it seems more than plausible. 

Rey groans loudly as she digests this careless oversight on her part, this complex and increasingly difficult situation completely of her own making. She has been entirely and _absolutely_ , stupid. 

“Rey.....” Maz begins carefully, her face full of trepidation as she watches Rey’s growing horror unwind before them. Her fingers now gripping the tender flesh of her arm so tightly, the skin goes pale and white under the strain. 

“It’s gone....” Rey mumbles back, slowly relaxing her hand and letting it drop to her lap as a bewildered terror overtakes her. 

“The implant….I must have lost it weeks ago". 

She falls silent again, her thoughts in disarray as she turns this new and life changing news over in her mind. 

Maz watches her with little comment , practically seeing the wheels turning endlessly through the windows of her forlorn, panic stricken eye’s. 

There is some small part of her that rejoices in this news, this little precious piece of Ben she still retains. Growing, _thriving_ within her. 

But. 

There is an even greater part of her that cannot accept this fate, this condition of unexpected motherhood alone. 

Ben was supposed to be here to hold her hand, to give her that small smile of quiet wonder and gentle reassurance she needs. That sense she is not alone in this moment, this flicker of uncertainty. He was meant to be there at her side to welcome that longed for child Rey had seen in her vision. 

Ben was supposed to stand with her by that unknown lake from her dreams, their precious children surrounding them in that moment of untold bliss. 

_Ben was supposed to be here too._

Her grief rises once morelike a snarling wounded beast within her chest. That same spirit shattering thought, working its way around her mind all over again. 

_Ben was supposed to be here_ with her. 

Rey shifts in her bed, her head suddenly fuzzy with a numbing fear and deadening by a heavy exhaustion. Fresh tears prick at her eyes as that black dog of desolation stalks her now. 

“Maz, I don’t think I can do this “ she sobs, her gaze so broken it tears at the core her friend’s bleeding heart. 

“I don’t think I can have this baby without him.” 

“You can my love, I know you can" Maz gushes earnestly as she grips Rey’s feeble, shaking hands firmly between her own. 

“I can’t, it’s….it’s too much" Rey whimpers, crying again in great whooping sighs. The pain in her chest getting worse as each breath becomes a sluggish, wheezing labour. 

“It hurts, oh gods, it hurts too much." 

Rey’s heartrate begins to race as she quickly loses control once more, that well of sorrow and regret fueling the fire of her own destruction. 

This time when the medical droids descend upon her bay, Maz makes no move or plea to stop them. 

Rey’s anguished cries dying to a soft mewl as the drugs knock her out clean. 

* * *

“Hey gorgeous” 

Finn’s voice is soft and affectionate as he rouses her from that fog of anesthesia some time later, his dark brown eyes glassy and full of understanding . 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like I just drank a whole bottle of moonshine…." Rey mumbles back with a wry smile, forgetting herself for a moment. Too relieved to see her best friend to focus upon the feelings of tragedy that live just below her skin. 

“I’m not surprised ….Those drugs really do pack a punch” . 

Finn’s smile is warm when her drunken eyes finally fix upon on it, warm but oddly forced. Like he’s trying too hard for to look happy around her. 

The falseness in his face immediately dampens her mood. 

“How long was I out?” Rey sighs blandly, too weary already to keep up appearances. She wants truth, not sympathy now. 

“Couple hours….” Finn replies with a shrug, stepping back a little to pull his empty hospital chair closer to her bed. 

“The droids don’t want you dipping under for too long now, they say it’s bad for your condition.” 

Rey looks back at him thoughtfully, her expression hard to read as she watches Finn drop back into the deep armchair with a sigh. 

“My condition” she repeats in a tight, almost defeated tone. 

“You mean the baby?”. 

“Yeah….the baby" Finn replies quietly, eyes shining. Quietly joyful with the knowledge of this small development within her. 

Rey nods, her gaze falling from Finn to look pensively at her abdomen. That little, small flutter of life greeting her once more. 

Eight weeks. 

It doesn’t seem possible. 

It shouldn’t be possible, based on every logical count she does in her mind 

“Finn….” Rey hesitates, beginning this loaded question with growing dread 

“How long has it been since Ahch-To?” 

Finn exhales slowly, shifting in his seat as he readies himself to speak. 

“It’s been three weeks" he answers in a low and careful voice. 

Rey’s breath catches in her throat, oxygen failing her as she looks at Finn with startled disbelief. 

“ _Three weeks_ ….how…” 

“You nearly died Rey" Finn interrupts darkly, his face deadly serious as he fixes his troubled eyes on her. 

“When I dragged you out of that cave….it was miracle you still had a pulse.” 

Rey blinks back at him numbly, blindsided by the information he imparts. It chills her now, to know the truth of it all. 

“I thought….I thought I’d just passed out for a while?” she stutters with paling cheeks. 

“No Rey…I wish it was, but truthfully…..it’s a wonder you’re still alive….” Finns answers bleakly “….once we reached the Falcon your organs started failing. After you’d given so much of yourself to save Ben at the Nexus…..you barely had anything left to keep your heart beating." 

Rey swallows deeply, feeling in her bones the deep ache and lingering weakness that lives in her body. This affliction nothing more than a shadow of what it once was. 

“How did yo…” 

“I gave you some of my life force, I had to….” Finn replies with little inflection, his tone even yet severe. 

Reys eyes widen, knowing she had never taught him that. The technique so delicate and dangerous, it had seemed a foolish risk to do so in these times of peace and prosperity. 

Finn once more fills in the gaps before the question really leaves her lips. 

“Weeks ago... when you showed me the truth of Ben’s death on Exegol, you showed me how to do it, how to safely maintain that finite balance between life….and death.” 

Rey nodded her head, unable to add anything further. Her exhaustion stealing her tongue and weight of this newly dawned day a heavy torture to bear. 

“Are you okay?” she finally manages to murmur. Concern for this dear friend a safer path to knowledge than to dwell on her own desolate fate. 

“I’m fine…..no lasting damage" he answers kindly. 

A quiet falls between, nothing else but the gentle buzz of the working machines and reassuring beep of her heartbeat to break the oppressive silence. 

Finns soft features twist as a thought turns in his mind. Sensing a dark and ominous cloud of guilt and disappointment swirling through her consciousness. 

"You know there was nothing you could have done...." 

He lets out a long and weary sigh, knowing his words will mean little to her broken heart and the harsh reality of survival after tragedy such as this. 

"There was...." Rey snaps back, her eyes flashing dangerously as a sudden rage and anguish rises "don’t lie to me Finn". 

"Rey..." 

"Don't....." she hisses, lilting forward in her hospital bed as she glares at him "don't act as if this was all some tragic accident." 

Finn looks cowed as discomfort clouds his brow, his eyes drift down toward the floor as Reys anger boils beneath her skin. 

"The fault, it's mine.....and no one else's." 

Her voice breaks, a small whimper leaving her mouth as that rush of sorrow stifles her. 

"I should never have lost control" she quavers, her hands clenching into fists as she fights the urge to cry. 

"I should have... _thought_ before I acted ...I should have...I should have...I...I...i....." 

Finn is quickly to his feet, pulling her into his arms before the first of her fat, hot tears tumble down her cheeks. 

" Why couldn't we save him Finn....." she wails as buries her broken, crumpled features into his chest. The thin cotton material of his shirt is quickly soaked by her tears, yet he does not notice. Too focused on his grieving friend to even care one whit for his own selfish comfort.   


"After everything we've been through, what we sacrificed......how can I go on now knowing I killed him!" 

Finn holds her closer, sending waves of gentle, soothing thoughts into her distraught mind to stem the flow of feverish grief that threatens to overwhelm her. He has witnessed too many fits like this over the last three weeks, watching her crush everything in her path when the nightmares came, he cannot allow the self-destruction anymore. 

She has been held in stasis long enough, Rey must face the burden of this pain and learn to live with it. 

Finn cannot allow her to be drugged into a stupor anymore. 

“You didn’t kill him Rey, don’t ever let yourself think that!” he urges desperately, gulping back the lump that forms in his throat. Rey’s sadness wraps around him as her walls fall away, the Force growing laden as the pain she feels reverberates and expands through his heart. 

It tears him apart inside. 

“I have to, you saw what I did, what my hands did..... _I killed him_.” Rey hiccups, her body collapsing further against her best friend’s chest as all will to hold herself up deserts her. She slumps weakly as her sobs grow stronger. 

“No Rey.....you didn’t. It was Palpatine...no one else” 

“Stop.....please stop Finn, please don’t lie to me like that. I’m begging you” she wails, body shaking as all the pent self-hatred and grief erupts out of her skin. 

Finn pushes her lax form from his chest and captures her blotchy, wet face between his warm, dark palms. 

“I’m not lying, when have I _ever_ lied to you my darling” he whispers fiercely, swiping the long line of her hot tears from her cheeks. His thumbs caress her damp skin as he looks at her earnestly. 

“You made a mistake, a simple mistake that anyone could have made given the circumstances. You did not _kill_ Ben Solo Rey, you almost died trying to do the impossible.” 

“But the lightening...” she begins, her rosy bottom shaking as the words rush out. 

“Was headed straight for Palpatine before the coward diverted it. He did this, not you...” Finn interrupts solemnly, holding her face tighter before leaning forward to kiss her forehead affectionately. 

“But.....” 

“But nothing, you did everything you could......but there are things in this life even beyond your considerable control”. 

Finn pulls Rey into his chest again, holding her close as her tears fall harder. 

“Losing the things, we loved and longed with all our heart, is the greatest agony of all. And though I would never deign to understand the pain you are going through, I do know, Ben never want you punish yourself like this.” 

“Finn.... _please_...” Rey whispers weakly, her voice hoarse and heavy with emotion. She clutches at the soft cotton of his sweater as another sob gurgles from her throat. 

“Rey....” he begins again “you cannot hold yourself responsible for this.” 

“ _But I do_ .” Rey sniffles “And now ....now I’m carrying his child, _knowing_ I’m the one that killed its father.” 

Finn pulls back again, gripping her shoulders this time as his dark eyes bore into her forlorn and glassy hazel. 

“Rey.....stop....just stop” he barks back gruffly, his own voice growing thick as the injustice and tragedy of this situation bites at his conscious. Feeling so guilty and sick with remorse as he admits the gratitude he feels knowing his unborn child will not face the same fate as Rey’s. It twists his guts to recognize this betrayal and flash of selfish relief. 

Treachery in every sense of the word. 

“That child......that child will only ever know how brave its mother was when faced with the worst thing that can ever happen to a person. That child will only ever know, how much its mother tried to sacrifice to save its father.....so don’t you dare tell me, its mother will ever think she is responsible for Ben Solo’s death! I won’t allow it.” 

Rey’s sorrowful eyes widen, momentarily taken aback by her friend’s ferocity and dogged determination. 

“Rey.....I know it’s hard and Gods, I know it hurts, but you have to be strong. You have to forgive yourself, or it’ll destroy you.” 

Rey looks deeply into his eyes, feeling the comfort he offers with every pulse of the Force around them. The pure light and unconditional love he has for her with every breath he takes. It dims the foul, scouring agony of this loss within her, helping her breath again and grip tightly to the tendrils of her flagging will. 

Forgiveness is the only way through this hell. 

As this dark cloud breaks over her head a new, small flame of hope flickers from deep within. 

A faint bubbling in her gut, pulsing softly as if to say, “ _I’m here Momma_ ". 

Her baby. 

It calms Rey instantly as her hand flutters down to her abdomen. 

To know, it was not all for nothing. 

Her lips quirk up in the briefest of smiles, losing herself to the abrupt and all-consuming love she suddenly feels for this tiny, growing thing. 

_Ben’s child_. 

It doesn’t terrify her as much as it once did, to bear it without him. This new and uncertain future. 

But Finn is right, she must be strong. 

If not for herself, she must be for her child. 

Yet, it doesn’t mean she does not fear the responsibilities her condition has thrust upon her. 

“I don’t know if I can you do this alone" she says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper but devoid of the frenzy and panic of before. Her tears dry on her cheeks as her hand ghost over her stomach again. 

Her eyes are clear as they meet Finn’s, finally calm but still filled with a desperation that breaks his heart. 

“But you’re not alone Rey, you never will be….Poe, Maz, Rose……we’re all here for you if you need us” he answers earnestly “I promise you darling......you will _never_ be alone”. 

There is a deep pang in Rey’s chest as his words hit their mark, filling her with the sort of pain that comes in healing. 

Her heartaches for the man she has lost, but her spirit, just for that brief, relived second, is ffree. 

Rey does not speak, for there are no words that seem to express or encapsulate the moment that passes between them. Instead she reaches for her friend’s hand, reassuring the brother she never had just what he means to hher. 

She will never be able to repay his kindness. 

Behind them, the double doors of the hospital bay slowly slide open as a familiar figure waltzs inside. The unmistakably quick and measured steps of Rose’s petit feet skip across the smooth linoleum toward Reys bed. A low and breathy gasp escaping her mouth as she finds her dear friend awake. 

“Rey? Maker above, it’s so good to see you up and alert" she gushes, pushing a hapless and slightly bemused Finn out of the way to pull Rey into a crushing yet affectionate hug. 

“Gods we’ve all been so worried" 

Rey finds herself smiling with little provocation, wrapping her arms around her friend’s slight shoulders with a huff of surprising cheer. Rose’s presence bringing more brightness than she has felt in days. Or so it seems given her often unconscious state. 

“It’s good to see you too" Rey drawls back softly, pulling her tighter to her body. 

Her posture immediately stiffens when Rose’s obviously rounded abdomen presses to her own burgeoning one, a small spark of recognition and _hello_ passing between the unborn lives growing there. It takes Rey a moment to recover and remember just how far along her friend would be now, it has been several weeks since she last saw her in person. 

Rey’s eyes are wide and mildly shocked by the time she pulls back and fixes her gaze on Rose’s prominent bump. 

“I know....quite a change” Rose chuckles warmly, running her hand down the bulge of her stomach “just over halfway done already.” 

“Wow” is all Rey can say in reply, a bewildered but joyful look spreading on her face. Fascinated by the sight in front of her, conscious on some underlying way, she will look the same in only a few months. 

“.....she’s glowing isn’t she” Finn interjects proudly, running his own broad hand down her bump with a happy smile. 

“Hardly....I’m starting to look like a Happabore more and more” Rose retorts with a grin “Plus....she kicks like crazy every time she hears Finn’s voice now.” 

Rey’s ears prick up, her head whipping towards her friends shining, happy face with wonder. 

“ _She_?” 

Rose’s cheeks flash a warm pink as she bites on her lip sheepishly. It is clear she had not meant to reveal this little nugget of information, Finn’s face growing uncomfortable as though he fears they are being unkind toward her. 

“Yes....we’re having a girl” Finn answers slowly, a furtive look passing between the young couple as his eyes shifted to Rey. 

“Just found out a few days ago”. 

Rey gives them a watery smile, a lump forming in her throat. Feeling all at once so deliriously happy for her friends, while at the same time, so sickeningly jealous she cannot stand it. 

The little girl could not ask for better parents, such gentle, caring people that already love her so much. A love that would only grow and deepen when she entered this world to their welcoming embraces. 

But her baby, _her baby,_ would only have her to comfort its cries. 

This brokenhearted orphan destined to be alone. 

It tore at her like teeth through her flesh, ripping and pulling her apart at the seams. 

“That’s so great, I’m so happy for you guys” Rey forced out, her voice too jovial to be believable. 

That look of discomfort intensifies on Finn’s face as his expression twists. He opens his mouth to speak but Rose beats him to the punch, her cheery personality pushing passed any building awkwardness. 

“I just know our babies are going to be the bestest of friends” she grins, pulling Rey’s hand into hers as she squeezes it reassuringly. 

“And you’re going to be a great mother.” 

There is a sincerity in Rose’s face as she smiles that Rey can’t seem to ignore, a sweetness in her eyes that dulls the pain in her heart. 

It lets her forget, even just for a moment. 

“As will you” Rey replies with genuine warmth and candor, squeezing back lightly as she speaks “That little girl is very lucky already”. 

Rose’s smile broadens, her other hand seeking Finn’s as her eyes shine contentedly. She doesn’t say anything further for a long moment, letting the comfortable silence speak for itself. Knowing the worst is over , for now. 

Sighing softly, the small woman ambles backward in search of the lone comfortable armchair in this cold, plain ward. Rose had spent many a terrible night curled up on it with Finn these past few weeks, Rey’s night terrors and moments of hysteria a distressing sight to behold. It relieves her to know now, those nights would become a thing of the past. Sighing louder this time, Rose is thankful as her tired body meets the chair and melts deeply into the plush, marshmallowy cushions. 

Rose seems to laugh to herself as she observes Rey eyeing her curiously, shooting her a knowing look. 

“Growing a child is hard work, just wait a few weeks and your ankles will be just as fat as mine.” 

“I sincerely hope not, for all our sakes” Finn teases back, dodging out of the way as Rose swipes at him half heartedly. 

He chuckles heartily as the petite brunette tries again, unbidden smirk gracing mouth as she swats away his reaching hands. Finn manages to grab her fists before she makes a connection, kissing at each small knuckle in silent apology before daring to sit on the broad arm of the chair. 

Rey watches them quietly, oddly touched by the softness she finds in her friends face, such tenderness shines like a brilliant light in these dark moments. Pulling her out of this unending sorrow she endures and into the happiness they radiate, just for one brief rush. 

It soothes her. 

“Have you thought of any names?” Rey finds herself saying with little thought, her tone warm. 

Rose smirks at her demurely, sharing a look with Finn. 

“Maybe….but you’ll have to wait and see" 

Rey smiles back, a mischievous spark glinting in her eyes. 

“All right then, keep your secrets". 

“....It’s the only way we keep you on your toes!” 

“Spoil sport...” 

* * *

The friends chat long into the evening, laughing and droning on together until the cantankerous medical droids nag the teasing couple away. There are promises of visits first thing in the morning and suggestions of transporting contraband into the ward. Rey’s mouth is already watering at the thought of freshly baked pastries and extra creamy Chandrilan chocolate from the lowlands. 

Her friends knowing exactly which things they need to provide to feed her guilty pleasure.

And for that one, lovely Summers evening, Rey is allowed to forget. 

* * *

In the days that followed that faithful evening, Reys condition continues to improve. Her strength coming back little by little until the maladies that remain are nothing more inconveniences to her swift progress. By the fourth week of her rehabilitation, she’s finally permitted to swap that cold, drab infirmary for the reluctant comforts of home. The overcautious medical droids at last satisfied she is physically and emotionally stable enough to leave their care. 

Her fits of dangerous hysteria are thankfully a thing of the past now as acceptance comes in slow and devastating waves. 

Living with the guilt of survival, _however_ , remains a different matter entirely. 

The penthouse is oppressively quiet as Rey, Finn, Rose and Maz make their way inside, the opulent fixtures and vibrant furnishings a stark shock to the eye after the monochromatic tones of the hospital. 

It is jarring to say the least, but Rey is too relieved to be home to reflect upon it long. 

“You really didn’t need to push me all the way in....” she snorts good naturedly as Finn heaves her wheelchair forward, the cold metal handles growing wet and foggy from his damp skin. 

“No, it’s fine.....I’m happy to help” 

“You do realize this chair is electric......and I can actually walk?”. 

“Nonsense” Finn huffs as he forces the heavy, awkward machine forward into the large, plush living room. 

“Doctor Kalonia agreed with the droids, you need to rest Master Skywalker” 

“Okay, point taken..... but I’m still not sure why you feel the need to _push_ an electric wheelchair? _”_

Finn huffs again, this time in mild exasperation as he comes to a stop the middle of the room. 

“Fine.....I won’t help you then.” 

Rose and Maz chuckle lightly behind them, each trying to hide their smirks of amusement as Finn turns to scowl at them. 

“Yeah, yeah.....laugh it up” he grumbles petulantly, stamping across the room to flop down on the nearest couch with a pout. 

“Don’t mind him....” Rose snorts as she shares a conspiratory smile with Rey “He’s not firing on all cylinders today.....apparently I kept him up all night with my snoring!” 

“I am not grumpy” Finn groans from the other end of the room, pointedly staring out the large floor to ceiling windows to his right with a scowl. 

“I never said you were dear” Rose shoots back ever so sweetly before whispering to Rey in a low voice “he is.....but I guess that’s the price he’ll have to pay for impregnating me....I have to sleep facing him now”. 

“Oh joy...” Rey quips back as she laughs quietly with her friend. The two share another guilty grin as Finn stews, biting back the giggles before Rey powers her vehicle forward in search of Maz. The Takodanian noticeably absent all of a sudden.

As she rounds the corner, there is a sudden flurry of excited noise. The high trill of an approaching droid greeting her happily. 

“ _Rey Friend back! Rey Friend back!_ ”

D-O's little voice warms her heart as he comes zipping into her path, his small cone head arching up in surprise as he spies her large wheelchair. 

“ _Droid? Rey Friend droid?_ ” he squeaks uncertainly, tapping his wheel against hers. 

“No D-O, I'm not a droid” she laughs lightly, leaning down to offer her little machine the flesh and blood of her hand. D-O eyes the limb suspiciously, but inches forward hesitantly to brush his head against her open palm.

Allowing her, _perhaps,_ for the very first time to touch him in any small way. 

He very quickly pulls back, satisfied his question has been answered. 

“ _Human_ ” D-O confirms firmly, arching his little head up again to stare at her curiously. 

“ _Why friend in machine_?” 

Rey sighs heavily, looking down at her miniature companion with a sad smile. 

“I got hurt, the machine helps me get better” she answers plainly, sitting back in her chair with a soft exhale of discomfort. 

D-O studies her again, moving closer to the chair as he swivels around each side. 

“ _Friend hurt_ ” he beeps to himself, as if the mulling it over in his circuits. 

He does an about turn, cocking his little head again as he looks up at her. 

“ _Where Ben friend?_ ” he asks suddenly, equal parts curious and suspiciously concerned. 

Rey swallows the immediate the lump that forms in her throat, that agony still so raw and fresh within her. 

“Ben’s gone D-O. He didn’t make it back.” 

The droid whistles sadly, little head tilting down as he processes her words. 

“ _Sad_ ” he drones back. 

“Yes D-O, I am sad” she replies quietly. The droid whistles again, before starting to wheel away dejectedly. 

“ _D-O sorry. Ben Friend good human.”_

_“_ _Yeah…_ Ben was a good human” Rey echoes back quietly, a bittersweet smile on her face as she watches the tiny droid glumly trundle forward. Biting at flesh of her cheek, she swallows deep and chokes back the tear that threatens to fall. 

Unwilling to weep again in the presence of her friends, not while knowing the cold loneliness of the night that awaits her. There will be plenty of tears shed later in the quiet comfort of her empty bed. 

Instead Rey moves onward, hearing familiar voices in the near distance trying to hush themselves in the next room. 

As the double doors of her palatial dining room part, she is instantly hit with a wall of effervescent sound as a chorus of whoops welcome her home. The high ceiling flushes with color as the jubilant occupant's fire round after round of party poppers into the air. The confetti fluttering down gently around her shoulders. 

Rey cannot help but shriek in surprise and delight as the faces of her dear friends rush forward. 

“Welcome home beautiful” Poe murmurs affectionately as he breaks through the mess of color, leaning forth to embrace her tightly. Zorii is quickly behind him, followed by Jannah and few of her friend’s from their Resistance days. Each well-wisher a warm and welcome comfort. 

Rey is particularly surprised by Jannah’s presence, but gathers, _perhaps_ , she, Finn and Rose have taken a break from their usual projects. Finn had needed time to recover too and with Rose’s condition, taking on a new platoon would have too much, too soon. 

She is curious, however, as to where the Mika and Tuda are this evening. The two rambunctious padawan’s no doubt causing trouble elsewhere. 

Rebounding from her initial shock, Rey notices the tables behind her guests are laid out with so much food, Rey is certain she has never seen such a feast in all the Galaxy. Every possible cured meat and cheese anyone could want is spread across the long oak surfaces, coupled on each side by a wide selection Rey’s favourite breads and pastries. 

“Wow…..” she huffs out, so utterly overcome by this impromptu party she cannot find the words to speak. It's deeply touching to know how much effort her friends have made. 

Rose and Finn are soon at her flank, grinning broadly as they meet her wide, bemused eyes with sheepish expressions. 

Their earlier bickering had all been for show. 

“Welcome home darling” Finn says softly, his gaze warm but all too aware how little this show of love and support will serve as a reprieve. 

The cut is too deep. 

Zorii approaches her again, a small dog-eared slip of paper in her hands. 

“The twins wanted to give you this" she murmurs softly with a slightly sheepish look as she hands Rey the paper. Unfolding the piece of worn parchment, Rey grins. As much amused as she is touched by the scrawl of colours and shapes that serve as her _get well soon_ card. 

“I know they are my children, and I may be a little biased, but I pretty sure the twins are child geniuses" Poe boasts proudly, staring at the mess of colours with a grin. 

“Just look at it, the boldness of those color tones and the abstract interpretation of Rey’s face. It’s magnificent”. 

“Poe...." Zorii begins tiredly “.....Luke told me he drew a Nerf pooping and Leia…. _well_ she drew you falling into the poop….so please.....shut up.” 

Poe looks aghast for a moment as his wife smirks, all the air gone from of his bluster. He is rendered speechless for once. 

“Tell them….thank you for the poop card. I love it" Rey interjects with a giggle, more than a little tickled by the toddlers efforts. She could already see their cheeky grins framed by wild curly hair in her minds eye, devilishly amused by the naughty image they’d gifted her. It is strangely sweet. 

“They’ll be delighted to hear that" Zorii replies with another sly grin, tapping Poe’s arm gently in jest. 

“Speaking of the mini devils, I better go check in with the babysitter…..let’s hope they haven’t tried to take the Speeder out again…” 

With that Zorii gives them all a quick, terse nod and wanders away to find a quiet corner. 

“Speeders….at their age? My, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree" Maz chuckles heartily, giving Poe a loaded look. 

“ _They_....are a precocious pair” Poe mutters back with a wry smile. 

“You can say that again....” Rose whispers to Rey as she slips past and heads straight for the bountiful buffet of food. Her growing appetite a more pressing matter now. 

The little brunette stuffs a cheesy pastry into her mouth with little preamble, taking another in hand while Finn looks at her mirthfully. 

“What?” she asks innocently, her dark eyebrow raised quizzically at her partner. 

“Nothing” he chuckles lightly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing the crown of her head. 

“They are disgustingly sweet aren’t they.....” Poe sighs as his eyes shift back to Rey. His features twist as he takes note of her muted expression, her eyes glassy for a moment as she watches the couple quietly. 

A flash of guilt fills the Senator as he suddenly regrets this impromptu party, recognizing it seems ill thought out now. 

“.....Rey” he begins, tentatively stepping closer before Rey beats him to the punch. Her benumbed countenance softening into a genuine smile. 

“Thank you for this Poe, the party I mean” 

Rey reaches out and grasps his hand in her, squeezing lightly as if to reassure his turning, regret filled mind of this simple truth. 

“It’s nice.....to forget for a while”. 

Her eyes are shiny when he dares a look at her, that bittersweet smile of hers breaking his heart a little. Poe’s tense shoulders relax as he finds himself smiling back, an innate understanding passing between them. 

There will be other times when solitude and the quiet of grief will be the panacea for her soul’s wounds, but today, in this moment, companionship and the joy of friendship is the remedy she craves. 

And this, he is more than willing to give. 

Leaning forward, Poe presses a chaste, warm kiss to her cheek. 

“You are very welcome” he murmurs affectionately, squeezing her hand back. Rey’s smile broadens as her eyes leave Poe and sweep across the room, content to just watch and bask the buzz of life around her. To observe the unique microcosm that form in each conversation spread across the wide rectangular room. The drama, the gossip and the sweet moments of stolen intimacy. 

It makes her grateful, to see it all in vivid glory. 

To her left Maz is stood regaling some old war story, while Kaydel Connix flirts shamelessly with Jessica Pava, the hot shot pilot more than a little taken aback. By the table Rose shoves an array of cream cakes into Finn’s mouth as she laughs childishly. 

Life goes on. 

Rey sighs heavily, feeling that pang of absence as always. She blinks back the tears and let’s go of Poe’s broad palm. 

“I better get over to that dessert table before Finn eats all the chocolate twists” she remarks with a forced smile, her tone almost too cheerful to be believable. 

“Yeah....that is very much a possibility” 

Rey huffs lightly before setting her chair forward, her gaze set on the diminishing plate of pastries with a single-minded focus. 

“So....” Zorii begins as she sidles up beside him “apparently the twin’s have bitten Tuda and thrown used toilet paper at Mika.....so nothing new it seems” 

Poe snorts and grins at his wife, his amusement flaring as she sighs in resignation. Zorii gives him a look of warning before leaning into his touch as he pulls her into his side. 

“Sounds about right” he sniggers again as he takes a long pull from his glass red wine. The stained vessel filled with the same sumptuous store Rey had raided from Varykino. 

“Fancy a drink?” 

Zorii shakes her head, her attention fixing on Rey instead. Her expression darkens and grows almost despondent as she watches the young woman in the near ddistance. 

Concern growing. 

“You think she’s going to be alright? Just the thought of facing motherhood on her own, its tough, let alone....” 

“She’s a tough girl...” 

“Even still...” 

Poe sighs, taking another pull from his glass. His brow draws down into a serious line, all humour leaving his eyes. 

“Gods, I hope so.” 

* * *

It is close to midnight before the last of Rey’s guests start to make their ways home, Poe and Zorii the final ones to bid farewell as the chromometer strikes twelve. Their exit leaving only Maz, Rey and Finn to demolish the last of the sweet treats left in that starkly empty banquet room. Rose and Jannah having retired a couple of hours before. The final cakes are swiftly split amongst them as the spoils of the party dwindle to a few sugared buns and blueberry muffins. 

“Here, take these for Mika and Tuda" Maz suggests amiably, placing the offered muffins in Finns eager hands. 

“So don’t eat them! " Rey adds with a smirk, giving Finn a teasing wink as she pops the last of the chocolate twists into her mouth. 

“Frankly I’m not the one you should worry about" Finn retorts cheekily “…but if you want to try stop my very pregnant girlfriend tomorrow morning…be my guest. But do so at your own risk!” 

Rey snorts loudly, her accompanying grin splitting into a loud yawn as the late hour starts to take its toll. 

“I think young Master, it is time we retire for the night. It’s been a mad number of days!” Maz utters softly, her husky voice a soothing suggestion in Reys ear. She nods slowly in agreement, her yawn deepening as she looks between her friends. 

Rey savours their presence her with her tonight, knowing her days of their vibrant company are dwindling swiftly. Rose, Jannah and Finn leave for Endor in less than a week, and Maz, well she always has some clandestine mission to complete. Soon she will be alone again. 

Painfully alone. 

But tonight, tonight she will enjoy the present and tomorrow the sun would rise again, 

“Come now” Maz says kindly, cupping Rey’s cheek with her wizened hand “Let’s get you to bed my love”. 

Rey smiles at her meekly before turning her bulky chair around and leading the way to her waiting room. Finn follows a few moments later, shutting off the lights as he goes. 

“Goodnight Rey.... _Maz_....sleep well.” Finn calls after them, blowing Rey a kiss before disappearing down the long hallway to his room. 

“Goodnight Finn” Rey mumbles tiredly. 

As they reach her room, Maz takes only a few steps inside. Conscious she may be intruding. 

Rey does not seem to notice, too focused on stretching her limbs and back as she readies herself to leave her chair for the first time that night. 

“Do you need any help getting up?” Maz offers, her large eyes watching Rey lurch forward gingerly with a wary expression. Rey gives her a tight smile as she shakes her head. 

“No...I’ll be okay” she murmurs back. 

“You can leave me here; I can make the last five steps to my bed” 

There is a note of teasing in her voice as she twists to face Maz. Her grin weary, but bright, despite everything that bubbles beneath the surface. 

“Are you sure?” 

Rey nods her head empathetically as Maz looks at her skeptically.

“Yeah I’m fine.” 

Maz’s frown deepens, hesitant to leave her alone in her current state. Yet, it is clear Rey will not be swayed. She sighs heavily, announcing her surrender. 

“Okay....well ....I’ll be in just the next room if you need me” . 

Rey nods again, her smile growing more affectionate as an unexpected relief fills her. Knowing she can soon let her mask of contentment and good cheer fall away. 

“I know.....thank you"

“Goodnight Rey....many pleasant dreams I wish to you my child” 

The old woman strides forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, her thin, dry lips lingering there for a moment. She sighs again in resignation before retreating to the door. 

“Goodnight Maz” Rey replies quietly, watching her go. 

And then, there is nothing but blessed silence and the scramble and buzz of her own clouded thoughts. Her shoulders slump slightly as the real sullen face of her humour washes over her lovely features.

Rey sits there for a moment, basking in the bleak truth of it. 

Alone. 

But sleep is an insistent beast, and her body demands more than mere reflection. 

Rising stiffly to her feet, Rey shuffles the last few feet to her waiting bed. The king-sized frame seeming almost gigantic after her weeks spent in a narrow, single cot. 

Flopping down on the edge of the mattress, she pulls off her boots and leggings before burying herself under the soft, silky sheet. Too tired and tender spirited to undress further. 

Rey can only think of sleep. 

The pillows are soft and weldoming against her cheek as she turns to her side, her hand instinctively reaching across the expanse of the bed in search of that familiar, broad body. The sheets cold and empty under her fingertips as reality hits like a blow to the gut. 

_Ben_. 

It is the first time all day she lets herself think of him, to drop her guard and allow herself, just to feel. Alone in the hushed gloom of her room, she is safe to rage and hurt and grieve. To stop running from it all, she cannot hide from herself anymore.

A small sob escapes from Rey's lips as the tears she has held at bay since the moment she woke up, break like waves upon her cheeks. 

Rey reaches blindly for Ben's pillow, wrapping her arms around the feather mass of it as she pulls it to her chest. She presses her face to the material as she cries, disappointed to find only the scent of her flowery washing powder upon the cotton cloth. All trace of Ben faded like tears in the rain. 

Clutching out against the bed as another hard, soul crushed cry leaves her chest, Rey sudden stiffens as her hand brushes something unexpected. An unknown entity occupying the small space the pillow had been only moments before. Her fingers search again, drawing a breathy gasp as the tips of her fingers meet a soft mass of worn cotton. Recognizing the unique feel of it almost immediately. 

_It couldn’t be._

Bolting up in her bed, she immediately switches on a nearby lamp, her hands shaking. She almost laughs, feeling slightly hysterical when her disbelieving eyes fall on the unmistakable dark cotton of Ben’s worn undershirt. The article neatly folded by the head of her bed, placed there as though awaiting his nocturnal return. She smiles sadly as she spies a small, off-white note sitting on top, written in Ben’s elegant, matchless handwriting. 

Rey picks it up, reading it carefully as her eyes fill with tears. 

_**The future is never written Cyar'ika and we are all just victims of time and fate.** _

_**So just in case time does not grant us mercy and fate does not grant us fortune, here is one small piece of me for you to keep always.** _

_**I will love you forever and beyond the limits of this world.** _

_**Thank you for showing me what it was to be yours.** _

_**with all my love,** _

_**Ben** _

_**X** _

Rey reads the Auberesh inscription over and over again until the words no longer make sense, her eyes too sorrow blinded to see anything but shadows and pain. The paper is damp and smudged as she lets it fall from her fingers, her hands instead reach for that careful placed shirt with numb acceptance. 

Her heart almost bursts with joy as Ben’s unique scent fills her senses when she presses the worn cotton to her face. And for one, blissful second, it’s as if he is sitting there beside her. 

“Thank you” she whispers aloud, not knowing how else to process the relief it brings. Pulling the shirt from her face, she places it carefully around the pillow, wrapping the material until it sits like clothing upon a body. The cotton still lies loose around the cushion, but it is enough of an imitation to salve her pain for one night at least. 

Laying down again, Rey draws the covered pillow close to her and convinces herself, in the muted solitude of the night, he is not gone. Ben is there beneath her fingers, real and warm and living. 

Rey breathes in deep, her mind lulled to sleep by the comforting scent of him. 

The aroma of Lavender, star dust, salt water and the sea. 

_Ben_. 

He is here.

And Rey pretends, pretends until her eyes grow heavy and her body slack, it is him held between her tightly wrapped arms. 

_It is him._

* * *

_The water is blissfully cool against her skin as it laps around her calves. The day has been swelteringly sticky out here by the lake, the remnant of the Summer’s heat still found even now as the late evening breeze swells through the valley._

_Across the glassy, still waters, the sun slowly sets behind the great hills that frame the this great canvas of light._

_The sky is growing darker now, golden hour long since passed ,and yet it remains a sight to behold. Those deep purples of the encroaching night are so stark and magnificent against the crimson of the dimming dusk, her attention cannot help but be captivated._

_There is a gentle splash by the shore as another bather enters the shallows around her._

_Long, powerful arms wrap around Rey from behind, his huge hand reaching down over her swollen abdomen as a kiss tickles her neck._

_“You grow more and more beautiful every day, you that?” Ben croons in ear, kissing at her temple as he holds her tighter._

_“Hardly....heavily pregnant is not a good look on any woman, let alone me” Rey answers with a chuckle, placing her hand over Ben’s as he feels the life shifting within._

_“Nonsense, who ever told you that”_

_“No one, I just know”_

_“Well you’re wrong” Ben retorts, his voice a deep rumble against her back “You are the most exquisite creature like this.”_

_Rey does not answer him this time, bowing her head instead to hide her bashful smile . Quietly flattered by his honey laced words._

_They stand there in silence for a while, enjoying this simple moment alone._

_But eventually the lull has to be broken._

_“Where’s the rascal by the way...you know our stubborn first born" Rey sighs curiously after a beat, turning slightly in his hold to look up Ben’s handsome face. His mouth splits into a boyish grin._

_“Sound asleep_ _....for_ _once”_

_Rey smiles back, her face serene in the light of the rising stars._

_“Thank the Gods”._

_Ben cocks his head rto one side, studying Rey for a moment._

_“Finn and Rose are still inside_ _....._ _” he says suddenly “so....fancy a swim?”_

_Rey’s eyebrows rise in surprise._

_“I don’t have my costume on” she answers with a shrug. Ben 's_ _grin_ _deepens as a devious glint flashes in his eyes._

_“Who says you’ll need one?”_

_Rey scoffs loudly, shaking her head as Ben snorts at her aghast expression._

_“You Ben Solo, are incorrigible. I am eight months pregnant!”_

_“I know_ _....but_ _that doesn’t mean I can’t try or want to get you naked.”_

_Rey twists out of his arms, reaching down as far as she can to the water in order to cool him down._

_Ben giggles as she begins to drench him, her splashes surprisingly powerful given her condition. He bolts forward and scoops her up into his arms, not one bit perturbed by her added weight._

_“You’re going to pay for that Scavenger” he chuckles amiably as she smirks up at him, greatly amused by the mess she’s made of his hair._

_Rey screeches as he quickly strides into the deeper, much cooler lake water, her back arching as the cold-water rushes up her torso._

_“Maker Ben, you are such a child” she blusters crankily, even as she laughs despite herself._

_“You started it” he chuckles back, silencing her next protest with a kiss._

_A simple kiss that sparks something indescribable and eternally intoxicating between them._

_A rightness to the Universe found in the short breathes they share._

_Balance._

* * *

Rey can still the feel the tingle of Ben’s mouth on her lips as she slips from sleep. The booming thunder from a brewing storm, rouses her from her lazy dreams as lightening fills her vast room with an ominous glow.

The dark of the night is still upon the City judging by the murky shadows that fall after every rumble and strike from the storm, the beginnings of a muted grey dawn rising in the east 

The fragments of Rey’s dream draw together as her mind slowly wakes, a strange familiarity and certainty to it that unnerves her more and more as time moves on. 

The images too sharp and sensations too real to pass off as mere fantasy. 

Rey sits up in her bed, gently pressing on her flushed lips as that feeling of Ben does not pass. 

No, that sweet dream was something else. Something different.

Her heart clenches, some inane hope flickering at the back of her mind. 

What if Finn is wrong? 

What is Ben survived the fall? 

But maybe she is losing it entirely, desperate to cling onto any bare thread that comes her way. 

Rey breathes deep, trying in earnest to calm her mind. Knowing this doubt will do her no good. 

_And yet?_

She swings her legs over the edge of the bed and struggles her way to her feet. Forcing her legs forward, she makes her way to one of the armchairs that sit by the French doors to her balcony. The chair a welcome reprieve despite the relatively short distance. 

Rey watches the storm for a while as the moon and stars fade from the early morning sky, great clouds of steely grey filling every void as the worst of the thunder travels south and nothing but the heavy rains remain. 

Rey stares numbly at the unrelenting shower as her troubled thoughts turn over her dream, pondering the strangeness of this clarity and contentment she feels. As though the grief of only hours before is misguided folly. 

It shakes her to her core. 

_What if it was a vision?_

What if Ben still waits for her? 

A sole tear of frustrated indecision tumbles from her eyes as she loses herself to the plaguing question. 

_What if?_

There is a sudden, short bubble of hello from her abdomen as the little unknown life within tries in its rudimentary way to comfort her. 

It makes her decision for her. 

She alone will make the journey to Ahch-To within the week. Cross that bridge of fate between times and find the man she loves amongst the dark. 

_She has to._

“No Rey, you don’t” Leia’s calm, husky voice urges from the dark, her solid, blue form suddenly manifesting in the other armchair beside her. The old master reaches forward and catches Rey’s startled face between her small hands, a grave expression lighting those wise eyes. 

“Please don’t Rey”. 

The younger woman’s features crumple in relief as she finally registers the presence in front of her. 

“Leia....you’re here” she whimpers as she places her hands over her long-lost master’s. 

“Of course, I am my darling, you needed me”. 

With that, she leans forward and draws the shaken girl into her arms as best she can. Rey reacts immediately, wrapping her arms around the ghost of her master with a sob. 

“I couldn’t save him .....I couldn’t....I tried but..” 

“Shhhhh...don’t cry sweetheart. Don’t cry my brave girl”. 

Rey shudders as Leia begins to stroke her hair softly, rocking her back and forth until her sobs slow to heavy sniffles. She takes comfort in the warmth Leia’s light filled presence provides, her pain soothed somehow in the grief they share. 

It takes a while more before she trusts herself to speak, her jaw trembling long after the hysteria has passed. 

“I’m pregnant Leia” she whispers brokenly after the silences has stretched heavy and long, her hands clutching at the back of Leia’s robe with whitened knuckles. 

“I know.” 

“How can I do this without him? I have to go back.....I have to.” 

Leia sighs long and deep as she slowly releases Rey. Catching her eye immediately as she looks at her with understanding and the deepest compassion. 

“You can’t Rey, what’s done....is done” she says sadly. 

“But....” 

“If you go back in there, you will regret it.” 

A surprising rage erupts from Rey as her sorrow turns darkly. 

“I destroyed that _thing_ once, I can do it again.” 

There’s an edge to her voice which chills Leia's heart, a belligerence in the glare that greets her. 

“But at what cost" Leia replies softly after a wary pause “it nearly killed you.” 

“But it didn’t”. 

“What if it wasn’t trying?" 

Rey’s irate expression softens as a puzzled frown replaces it. 

“What? It tried to drown me…the to choke me…” 

“To make you lose _consciousness_ ….” Leia finishes “that awful thing had every opportunity to kill but didn’t. Why?” 

Rey shudders, a new stark realization dawning that her master speaks the truth. 

The twisted phantom of Palpatine had spared her, shown her leniency when every action and word spoke to the contrary. 

But why…..why would he do that? 

“I don’t know” Rey answers dejectedly, the wind taken out of her sails. 

Rey cannot read Leia's expression as her reply hangs in the air, but Force seems to supply the solution anyway. A deep and resounding fear flowing through the atmosphere to set in the pit of her stomach. 

"Search your feelings Rey, there in your mind's eye lies the answer you already know". 

Rey frowns visibly at Leia's vague response, her words loaded with a meaning that does not lend itself to easy digestion. Hidden instead behind the frustrating veil of a lesson. 

But Rey does as she is told, centering her mind as she calls upon the undisputed facts she already knows. 

_One_ , Sheev Palpatine had wanted her taken alive. 

_Two_ , Palpatine had wanted to keep her incapacitated. 

_And three_ , he had first appeared to her on Dagobah, in the bowels of that dark, dank ancient cave. 

A foul spectre that haunted her for weeks in the unguarded realms of her dreams. Twisting them until her fear and anger became indistinguishable to her waking life. 

It had unlocked that awful rage within which blew asunder all she loved in an instant. 

It had all begun on Dagobah. 

An idea suddenly sparks, igniting like fire meeting gasoline. Erupting into Rey’s thoughts as the domino’s begin to fall. 

_Dagobah_. 

The dark entity had begun to visit her the day after she'd fought the Bogwings. The same day she now knew she had more than likely fallen pregnant. 

Rey’s gut plunges again, remembering perhaps for the first time, the vivid agony the Emperor had sent through her centre. Searing and tearing her apart from the inside out. 

' _You are not the Skywalker we want'_ that was what he said before he’d attacked her. 

_Skywalker_. 

Palpatine had wanted the baby! 

He’d known, _Gods_ he known even then. 

_The baby._

That battle, it had never been about destroying Ben or even luring her to the dark. That agent of chaos and shadow had only coveted a Skywalker child to take as its vessel. 

The last true blood Skywalker child, growing within her now. 

And all at once Rey understands, Rey knows why Leia will not let her go. 

To cross back into that realm of unknown will likely mean sacrificing her child. Its innocent, little soul a bartering chip for its father's life. 

Ben would never forgive her. 

She would never forgive herself. 

"I can't go back, can I ….." Rey whimpers as her broken-hearted eyes meet Leia's soft brown gaze. That same set of eyes remind her so much of Ben, it almost shatters her heart to dust to look upon them. 

_He has his mother’s eyes_ she thinks sadly to herself. 

“If I do, the darkness will take my child.....destroy it like it did your father.” 

Leia own eyes mist as she nods in reluctant agreement. 

“It will consume the child, reform it in its own image until nothing is left but a shell of the person it could have been.” 

“But what if Ben is still alive, how can I abandon him?” 

Leia coughs slightly to avoid shedding the rush of tears that prick at her eyes, conscious such maudlin displays will do them no good. 

“Only you can make that choice Rey, only you. And for that, I will be eternally sorry.” 

Rey bites at her lip, gnawing upon the skin until the cracks split and bleed. 

Maker, how can she make that choice? 

She turns away from Leia, her eyes numbly watching the rain as the horror of this decision weighs heavy upon her soul. 

“I will be here beside you no matter what you choose Rey, I promise. I will be with you. Always.” 

“I know”. 

Reaching out her hand, Leia captures Rey’s in her own and squeezes tightly. 

“I think it’s going to be a beautiful morning” she says softly, staring out into wet and miserable early dawn. 

“But it’s raining” Rey huffs not unkindly, her eyes never leaving the sodden image of her balcony. 

“True....but the sun always shines after rain.” 

There is a pause, a moment of exhalation and Rey starts to smile again despite everything that tells her to do the opposite. 

“Why do I get the feeling we’re not just talking about the weather?” 

Leia doesn’t answer, a small smirk pulling at her mouth as she watches the rain and holds Rey’s hand tighter. 

They sit there for hours in silence, watching the day begin in the City far below. Time passing steadily by until nothing lingers of the thunderstorm but the memory of it. 

A vibrant blue sky greeting the new day as the sun shines bright. 

Leia is right as always. 

It’s a beautiful day.

* * *

In the end, there is only one real option for Rey. 

She chooses her baby, for her conscience cannot conceive of any other way.

And then, Rey lets Ben go. Suffers the pain of it because she knows, she must choose the right path.

It's not just her life she plays now in this game of chance.

Rey must endure it.

Her grief is like a wound upon her chest, bleeding and weeping for the whole galaxy to see. She cannot hide it, cannot stop the pain that wracks her whole body when she cries alone at night. 

If the first time she had lost Ben had been like losing a limb, this agony she feels now is like being flayed alive. Ripping her apart at the seams. 

Because now she truly knows what it is to have him, to be held by him and to have him inside her in every part of the word. 

Rey truly knows what it is to love and be loved by him. 

And now, she knows what it is to lose him. 

All over again. 

How she had hoped, how she had dreamed, of something different. 

But it has been dashed like every hope and every dream she’d ever had. 

And yet, as she stands there upon her grand terrace one evening and she looks down at her abdomen, _something changes_. 

There is a slight rounding at the edges of her usually toned stomach now, a realness to her decision as she runs her fingers over her growing bump. There is a joyful flicker inside her beaten heart. 

A light glimmering there in the darkest of her days. 

A baby. 

_His baby._

She still cannot really believe it, even as she feels its tiny life force bubble in time with hers. 

Laying her hands over the warm skin that separates them, this flesh and blood that keeps her growing secret safe, Rey allows herself the smallest of smiles. 

"Daddy would have been so happy to meet you little one" she whispers proudly "But I promise you, I will love more than enough for both of us." 

Rey sometimes feels foolish speaking to a baby barely the size of raspberry, knowing logically it cannot hear her yet. And still she knows, _feels_ , the baby is listening. Its small, buzzing presence within the Force a burst of fluttering each time her thoughts to it. 

"It is only us now my little peanut, but Mommy will keep you safe. I promise cyar’ika, I will keep you safe." 

* * *

_In that endless pool of darkness, a man begins to stir. To stretch and move below the raging waves that hold him._

_Life seeping back into his bones, his skin flushing rosy with blood as air flows slow and loose from pursing lips. His eyes moving rapidly as though_ _in the midst of_ _slumber._

_For then, Ben starts to dream._

_Of star lit skies and promises beneath the veil of night. He dreams of swamps, of silver falls and nights of hedonistic pleasure. Every touch as real as any pain he ever endured in life._

_Ben dreams of love and the tentative hope of an almost future. The promise of a good life._

_A lake._

_A child._

_Ben dream of her._

_He dreams of Rey._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next installment:  
> \- substantial time jumps  
> -Rey visits an old friend.  
> -Rey learns something new about her past  
> -will baby Reylo make an appearance?
> 
> Question for my readers: Do we want a gender reveal before or after the birth? I have already decided the sex, so its up to you guys as to when :)
> 
> See you all soon x


	20. Demeter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey spends some time with an old friend after a long needed reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> I hope everyone had a great Halloween (albeit a little altered to last year!).  
> I hope this serves as a little treat to counteract the trick that is 2020 and entering the 2nd wave of a pandemic....*sigh*  
> I tried to tone down the angst, but alas some managed to find its way in! I think I have issues lol.
> 
> As the chapter ended up being ultra long, I have divided what was meant to be chapter 20 as it would have been a ridiculous undertaking in one go for everyone to read! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, the wait for the happy ending is so damn close you can almost taste it.
> 
> Thank you as ever for your support and great comments, it is certainly getting me through a very difficult time in my life :)
> 
> Much love,  
> RedCatRen

The greatest lesson Rey ever received came quite unexpectedly when she was very young, this spark of enlightenment gifted from the most unlikely of places, between the dust and grime of the planet she'd once called home.

This seminal moment arrived not long after she’d been abandoned to that shit stain of a backwater town called Niima Outpost, alone and bereft while she awaited that urgent rescue that never came. Most of the cretins that existed by that hellhole settlement, had willfully ignored the sorrow weakened child. But amid the scores of scum and unsavory opportunists, there had been one that had taken pity. Some wizened and desert hardened scavenger, that had fed the starved waif she had become, imparting to Rey in some kind, yet vain attempt at comfort, a singular message that had stuck with her for the rest of her life. 

The good Samaritan spoke of an undisputable truth, about the loss of love and how all things grow with time, all excepting, _grief_. That grief, like the once great beast of war she would learn to pick apart in the desert wastes, piece by piece until the relentless sands consumed the rest, the pain of loss would fade away little by little until nothing, but the memory remained. 

Eventually, all wounds would heal. 

No matter how deep.

At the time, Rey had been too young to understand, to recognize the certainty of this stark reality of life. The pain of losing her parents had seemed all consuming and unending, like a wound that would bleed on and on forever until it drained her dry. 

However as was predicted, that wise, old survivor of the wastelands had been right, for all things had grown with time.

Most especially, Rey's will to carry on. But the grief in time, the searing pain of loss, became nothing more than an old friend she carried around in deepest corners of her heart. Rey never forgot the devastation and change wrought by that grief, but with time, she learned to live with it and to survive because of it. 

Now having lost Ben, Rey knew this sense of despair would someday take another corner in her heart. Perhaps an entire chamber when all was said and done, but she would endure.

Rey would always be a survivor and with time, all the bad things she had endured would fade. 

In the meantime, she would draw comfort in the small things that would make her happy. Her friends, her baby and the beauty she could find in the mundane and everyday life that surrounds her. 

There would forever be a great ocean of silence between her and the man she had loved almost to her own destruction, but Rey would not drown in the waves of hopelessness this time. 

She would swim for the surface, fight to for her breath and weather the storm. If not for herself, but for the people who had tread the water with her, who had guided her to safe harbors and shallower shores. 

All things grew with time, even the inner strength you never knew you had. 

* * *

Time passes quickly after the party in Rey’s penthouse and somehow, three months have come and gone before she even has a chance to catch her breath. The once hot and bright summer has started to fade as Rey edges closer to her third trimester, a new, cold seasonal wind blowing forcefully through the lush, beautiful lands of Chandrila. 

All around Hanna City the last signs of the vibrant, fecund period are beginning to dull and dim. The creeping chill of Autumn seeps slowly into the darkening evenings now as storms envelope the urban landscape more and more. Buildings are lashed with rain as small rivers form in the streets, scouring away the dusty, dry easiness of the Summer. The daily wash from the skies, a thundering swirl as it leaves the pavements to wind down into the depthless gutters and replenishes the stores long since receded by the heat of only weeks before.

In the orchards that surround the bright and modern city, the rigor of the last harvest has truly begun as the verdant canopies of trees transition to gold and russet. Altering beyond recognition the woodlands Rey takes to walking through alone each morning. It has become a habit of hers, to traverse these trails and roads less travelled before breakfast, exploring the wilderness with a quiet contentment and sense of directionless purpose.

Rey enjoys the crispness of the air on those isolated paths, the solitude she finds here away from it all. 

It centers her somehow. 

It's not as if she can sleep past dawn anymore, the baby has begun to press upon her bladder so much, she barely makes it more than a few hours in bed before she needs the Fresher anyway. It seems wrong not to take advantage of these early hours and bask in these last weeks of clear air before the bite of Winter and her heavy belly, makes the journey unduly unpleasant. 

Rey relishes her daily escape through those quiet, empty streets, carefully balance on her trusty speeder as she leaves the concrete and durasteel far behind. Waving a temporary goodbye as the bustling City begins to wake. Those first clean breathes amongst the peaceful quiet of the fruit laden trees, fulfils her soul in some way. 

Feeds it in ways, other trivial things cannot.

Rey still loves to teach her students, for her gaggle of eager younglings remain a constant source of delight and amusement. 

_But_. 

These times alone in the simple lush of the Autumnal change, _it soothes her troubled mind_. 

The air is particularly biting as Rey arrives at the edge of her favourite path early one morning, ambient temperature just a few degrees above frigid as she pulls her cloak tighter upon her shoulders. The trees that frame this particular thicket, are heavy with plump, rosy apples, filling the many groves of fruit of trees with the fresh, delicate fragrance of ripened, sweet flesh. 

Rey breathes deep, unable to resist the urge to pluck one particularly bulbous pome free. The fruit is crunchy and surprisingly sweet as she bites into the firm skin, its flesh deliciously cool as it hits her tongue. 

Rey happily wolfs down the lot, brazenly reaching for another as she hums to herself happily. The crop has been bountiful this year and she is adamant the farmer will not miss an apple or two from his ample yield. 

Walking away with her crimson prize, Rey feels a flutter in abdomen before a gentle kick prods at her skin. 

“Good morning my little Peanut! Did all that sugar wake you?” she croons cheerfully, pressing her hand to her stomach as the baby within wriggles rapidly. 

Another stronger kick answers her as a pleasant buzz of _hello_ pulses down the Force. 

“Does my little Peanut like apples? I think you do". 

Rey smiles broader as the baby moves faster, an obvious excitement found in the small rush of sugar. 

“If you like this, wait until we get home my love. Aunty Mazzy sent me some Takodanian sweet pies". 

The baby kicks again, a tiny foot beating against her as she lowers her hand to meet the blow with a smile. 

Rey chuckles gently as she steadily walks on through the everchanging orchard, a firm hold set on her abdomen. The fallen amber leaves crunch loudly underfoot, the scattered foliage littering her path with a wash of vivid colour. As she walks, the relentless wheeling of the baby in her belly slows, lulled somewhat by the measured pace she sets through the forest. 

There is a contented flutter as its excitement dims and Rey feels a bubble of sleepy calm pulsate through the Force. 

Overhead, the beginnings of a beautiful day are spread out across brightening the sky. The sun a low and hazy warmth as it rises in the unseasonable clear blue. Not one fluffy cloud to be found among the sharpening azure.

The dawn brings with it the sweet song of waking birds and the rush and scurry of small mammals. The little squirrels in particular, diligently searching the brush and trees for nuts and seeds to store for their larder. The scarcity of the winter only a few weeks away. 

Rey stops here and there to rest and watch the busy creatures, her aching feet welcome for the intermittent breaks. Moving is getting more difficult now as she approaches her twenty third week. She is still very much capable of walking for miles, but the tiredness that comes from this stubborn exertion is not worth the headache. 

Lowering herself onto a suitable resting place, Rey careful adjusts her position and pulls her heavy robe tighter round her shoulder. There is a stiff breeze now pressing at her back, but thankfully the stiff woollen cloak is sufficient to block the worst of it. The oversized robe had been a gift from Finn, sent not long after she’d entered her second trimester.

Rey suspects it is one of his own rejected vestments, Finn never having fully taken to wearing the hooded uniform of their order as she had. Nevertheless, she is grateful for it now. It will see out through the Winter, her expanding belly bound to get bigger. 

Deep in a pocket, her small holoprojecter begins to buzz insistently against her thigh. It is a steady drone of annoyance amid the tranquil quiet of the wood. The slim disk vibrates loudly as she draws it out, its shiny metal surface cool against her palm as she holds aloft. 

Rey grimaces as she stares at it, indecisive for a moment whether she will answer the call or not. Though it is not unusual for her to receive urgent transmissions out of the blue, most callers tended to wait until at least the mid-morning to bother her. 

Somehow she doubts it is anything important, for there has been little in the way of Galactic skirmishes in years. Furthermore, Poe is not likely to bother Rey on her personal line with anything so trivial as a local dispute and anything of import would probably require a secure line.

Rey knows it is not regarding the temple as all her students have returned to their home planets for a few days and are not scheduled to return for at least seventy-two standard hours. 

Still, the interruption piques her curiosity as much as it irks her. 

Sighing heavily, her resistance worn away, she reluctantly presses down to answer. 

Rose round, friendly face smiles back at her as the holocall flickers to life, her big brown eyes lit with humour as she spies Rey. 

“I was beginning to think you were ignoring me!” she teases good naturedly, her smile broadening as Rey’s face softens and grows sheepish. 

“I was thinking about it, but decided it wasn’t worth the risk to my health” she replies drolly. Her friend laughs softly, her perfect white teeth flashing on the holographic as her smile broadens. 

“Never tempt the wrath of a heavily pregnant woman!” 

“I wouldn’t dare!” 

There's a sudden, sweet flurry of birdsong somewhere in the wood and Rose’s dark eyes narrow curiously as she leans forward. 

“ _Where are you right now_?” 

“On Zarfai Farm, just South of the city. The owner let’s me walk here in the mornings". 

Rose's dark eyebrows rise to her hairline in surprise, her interest growing.

"Isn't it like......six standard hours in the morning on Chandrila right now...." 

"Yeah it is..." 

"Girl, why aren't you sleeping?!" 

"Ask my unborn child.... _he or she_ , just loves to wiggle their butt on my bladder every few hours" 

"Still, you could just stay in bed.....you know......relax like a normal person." 

Rey smiles softly. 

"Maybe....but I like the walk, _it_....clears my head...." 

Rose laughs lightly as she shakes her head in reply. 

"You have way too much energy Rey....it's sickening....by five months you couldn't pay me to move before I'd had at least five cups of caff! Let alone before dawn!" 

"I'm just lucky I guess." 

"Or mad" she quips back with a grin. 

"How is she today, any new development to report?" Rey asks warmly, abruptly changing the subject to avoid her friend's unwelcome focus on this morning ritual of hers. The smaller woman glows at the question, her smile growing wide on the holo. 

"Well this morning she went nuts as soon as Finn spoke. All he said was a simple ' _hi' a_ nd it was as if he'd said the single funniest thing in the world, she went mad in my belly, it was crazy.....she's definitely going to be Daddy's gi..." 

Rose falters as the words die in her mouth, her face flushing bright as a sudden realization strikes her hard. But Rey does not miss a beat, brushing past the awkward pause as though nothing is remiss. 

" _Really_... that's so sweet, and I'm sure Finn can't wait to meet her!" 

Rose's expression remains pained as she hesitates, starkly conscious not to boast about the happy trio they will soon become. 

"Yeah.... he's ehhh....he's excited." 

Rey's unerring cheerfulness does not break as she swallows down the pang of jealous that rumbles through her, smiling back at Rose amiably as if nothing is wrong. The other woman shuffles uncomfortably for a moment, more than a little contrite . 

But Rey does not allow it to continue. 

“So….its been weeks since I’ve seen you. Rose I want to see the bump" 

Her friends tight features relax before she nods in agreement. 

The holo warps for a moment as she steps back and turns to the side, showcasing the wide set of her pregnant belly. 

“I call this look…. smuggled watermelon in an ill-fitting shirt….” She remarks as she runs her hand down her abdomen, Rose’s self-deprecating tone making Rey chuckle. 

“Believe me, I am not too far behind you. Dr Kalonia told me the baby is measuring in the ninetieth percentile already" she says with a slightly grim turn of her lips. 

“ _Gods_ …..I feel sorry for your vagina already" Rose snorts despite her best efforts to empathize. 

“Don't....it's its damn fault I’m in this mess in the first place!” 

“Are you like _a 100 percent sure_ there’s only one baby in there….” Rose adds slyly. 

Rey blinks back at her with a smirk before laughing heartily, her shoulders juddering as she shakes her head. 

“Yes…..I’m sure. It’s just one, very oversized baby" 

Rose’s eyebrow rises, a bewildered look of sympathy etched on her face. 

“Okay….well good luck with that!” 

Rey snorts and is about to open her mouth to bite back when a small, juvenile voice disrupts her concentration. 

“Master Skywalker…..Master Skywalker I learned how to lift a Ewok today" 

Mika’s big blue eyes are suddenly peeking up at the bottom of holo, edging Rose out of frame ever so slightly. 

“Oh wow…I’m hoping the lucky Ewok was just as happy to be part of your class as you were" Rey answers drolly, unable to stop herself from beaming affectionately at the young Togruta. He nods enthusiastically even as Rose’s accompanying sigh says everything to the opposite. 

“Boo Boo really liked it" 

“Boo Boo most definitely did NOT like it, nor did his mother or in fact, the Chief." 

Mika pouts and crosses his little arms across his chest petulantly, but he does not argue. Instead he looks at Rey curiously, attention flitting elsewhere. 

His face scrunches up in concentration as he ponders some small wonder. 

“Master Skywalker….do you know if your baby is a boy or girl?” he asks quietly, brow furrowing as though trying to glean the answer through her eyes. 

Rose looks aghast for a moment, but her curiosity stops her from chastising him fully. She looks at Rey with interest. 

“No Mika, I don’t know" Rey answers cheerfully “sometimes it’s nice to have surprises". 

The young boy cocks his head to one side as if digesting her words. 

“ _I_ _suppose_ ……it doesn’t matter either way and you and Miss Tico's babies are bound to be best friends” 

Both expectant mothers beam at the suggestion, touched my the young boy’s earnest wishes. 

“I guess so" Rey replies warmly “we can only hope". 

Mika smiles back and opens his mouth to add more, but a tired, far off voice breaks the peace between them. 

“Mika….where are you? You need to come apologize to the Ewoks….Boo Boo was trapped up that tree for far too long!” 

The young Togruta blushes heavily, embarrassed he has been called out in front of Rey. He leaps out of frame and scarpers off toward Finn's less than pleased calls. 

“COMING MASTER…” 

Rey sniggers lightly as his nimble footsteps grow distant. 

“Maker, that child never changes does he.” 

“Nope…and somehow I hope he never does…it keeps Finn on his toes!” 

The friends continue to laugh as they hear a distance sigh of exasperation and hastened chastisement. The result of thier revelry however has very real consequences, as the abrupt jumping of her diaphragm rouses the once calm baby in her abdomen and a strong kicking breaks her breathless giggles. The next kick is hard and almost painful as it beats against her muscles.

Glancing down, she smirks. 

“It seems someone’s not enjoying our fun…. _Gods_ this child has such vigor already" 

“I feel your pain, I’m just thankful this one seems a heavy sleeper" .

Somewhere off-screen there is another bellow, followed by a crash and thump of something falling. 

“….is it just me or did Finn sound uncannily like Chewie just then….” 

Rose guffaws loudly as her hot-tempered partner lets out yet another low growl. 

“ _Maker_ , I’ve never noticed before! He really, really sounds like Chewie!”. 

Her high-pitched giggles carry on through brisk Autumn air surrounding Rey, warming her heart with the simple joy of it.

It is moments like this, these small instances of guileless, good humour and friendship, that has gotten her through these last few difficult months. Rose’s endless heer and optimism so infectious, Rey can never quite resist smiling in her company. 

Their shared laughter slowly fades as breath is caught and the hilarity of before breaks as something clouds Rose’s usually bright and contented gaze. 

Her eyes narrow as she chews on her bottom lip, hesitating to parse the question that sticks on her tongue. Rey cocks her head to one side, confused by her friend’s abrupt change in mood. 

Rose breathes deeply, pushing the words out as her voice flows softly across the cosmos. 

“He misses you, you know that..... _Chewie_ _....._ he’s hurt you’ve not been to visit him”. 

Rey’s face grows pale, shamed by her own weakness and lack of courage. Chewbacca knows nothing of the life she has lived since she left for Naboo all those months ago. He knows nothing of the pain, the joy and the changes that have been wrought upon them all. 

_Just as she'd intended._

“I can’t” 

The voice that leaves her lips doesn’t even sound like her own, the tone defeated and flat. 

“.....he won’t understand.... _Ben....._ his name is like blasphemy to Chewie now. How can I....” 

“Rey.....” Rose interrupts with a solemn frown “..... it’ll be so much worse if he finds out after the baby is born. To keep all this from him, he'll never forgive you”. 

“But the baby.....” 

“Chewbacca will love that baby like his own kin, just as he loves you. Even it comes out the spitting image of Ben Solo.....” 

Rey’s face twists in discomfort, knowing deep down, Rose is right. She is stalling for her own selfish reasons, nothing more. Too afraid of that old Wookie’s judgement, of his disappointment in her to tell him the truth.

She has been a coward to him absent from her life for all this time. 

Now, she must be brave. 

“Rey.....I promise you, all you’re going to get from Chewie is support and love.” 

Sighing heavily, the young Jedi master musters a watery smile. 

“I know” 

There is a pause between the friends as Rey’s awkwardness keeps her momentarily mute, awash with thoughts and sparks of maudlin regret. 

“Perhaps...” Rose says quietly, breaking the silence and drawing Rey’s attention back to her open, understanding eyes. 

“....you could visit him for Life Day? It’s only one moon cycle away and you know how much it would mean to him”. 

Rey looks back at her thoughtfully, considering the prospect. 

Life Day on Kashyyyk would be the perfect opportunity to see Chewbacca again. The festival is well known to be the elder Wookie’s favourite day, an event he looks forward to every three years of each decade. Moreover, this coming Life Day will only be the second they would celebrate since the war with the First Order ended. 

“If you want, Finn and I can come with you if you need a buffer or...” 

“No....no I’ll be okay....” Rey answers swiftly but not unkindly. 

“Plus.....I think you all may be a little _busy_ by then.” 

Rose looks puzzled for a moment before her gaze drops to the full round of her stomach. She smirks as she blushes self-consciously, of course she will be busy! 

“Sssshhhh, I am actively denying the fact I may have given birth by Life Day.” 

“Only four more weeks before full term!” 

“Lalalalalalah....I’m not listening to you” 

Rey chuckles heartily, giving Rose a cheeky, teasing grin. 

“You are going to be such a mature, responsible mother.” 

“Takes one to know one _Master Skywalker_.” 

“I’ll have you know; I am _very_ mature!” 

* * *

The biggest of the three great moons of Kashyyyk is starting to rise over the endless arboreal horizon, when Rey arrives planet side some weeks later. The warm orange glow of Atlas overwhelming the two silvery orbs of Janus and Dione as nightfall fills the perpetual green canopy with shadow and intrigue. 

Below the Millennium Falcon, Rey can see the roaring heat of festival fires scattered throughout the forest city of Rwookrrorro. Preparations for family feasts are in full flow, Wookiee's giddy in anticipation of the time honored pilgrimage to the Tree of Life early the next day. The crystalline orbs they would adorn there, carefully wrapped and set upon the simple wooden tables with shi-shok fruits, wroshyr lice syrup, and most sacred of all, orga roots foraged only hours before. 

Between the flurry of expectation, the Wookiee pups and younglings dance to the music their elders provide, roaring and howling with joy at the simple jigs and reels they produce. The party atmosphere already begun. 

It does not take Rey long to find Chewbacca’s homestead amidst the chaos of activity, his broad family cabin sitting high among the tallest wroshyr trees. His simple home is adorned with old Rebel and Resistance symbols that tell of his great adventures, marking his opulent den out against the simpler dwellings that surround it.

Rey sets the old freighter down a few miles away on the closest landing pad, resigned to the fact it will be at least an hour or two before she reaches the pulley lift to the central bridge and then at least another half an hour to reach Chewie’s abode across the endless walkways of the City. 

“Maybe we should have called ahead....” she mutters to herself as she rises to her feet. 

“I take it you are staying here” she adds with a sly smile as D-O arches his small head up to her nervously. 

_“Yes please. Wookiee hates droid”._

“He does not....he’s just.....Chewie’s just like that with everyone.” 

_“D-O stay. Safe in ship.”_

“Fine, suit yourself.” 

Without further discussion, Rey moves as swiftly as she can out of the Falcon and into the balmy, dark forest. A nervous lurch thundering through her, her anticipation turning to acid in her gut as she trundle closer to this inevitable storm. 

* * *

The one thing Rey had never foreseen when she had decided upon visiting Chewie for Life Day, was how excited every Wookiee would become when they saw her pregnant belly. Each great, hairy beast wailing with joy and excitement as they rushed to her side.

It is almost impossible to try to wade through the crowds of well-wishers and coos of happiness that envelope her. Elders start to lay their great paws on her head as she tries in earnest to pass the throng of curious beast, touching her as though she is a precious deity or a prized pet to be protected.

Their hairy mouths mutter blessings and promises for her child’s future as she is stopped every few steps in her journey. It’s a sweet gesture, albeit it, a little time consuming! 

Rey quickly gather from their euphoric reactions, her presence here is seen as a good omen for the next harvest on Kashyyyk, so she indulges the pomp and ceremony for a while. It saves her having to answer any probing questions as to why she is here unannounced! 

However, their enchantment with her soon begins to sour the atmosphere a little as more and more of the congregation push forward to touch her. Irritation and tempers flaring as toes are physically and figuratively stepped on in order to stand in Rey’s orbit. There is a distinct sound of rising growls and gnashing teeth as Rey is jostled in the growing scuffles, her best efforts to carefully make it out of the scrum of overexcited Wookiee's thwarted more than once.

Their wrestling, squirming bodies knock her off balance as they argue for dominance. 

It is Grizzall that finally pulls her away to safety, Chewbacca's youngest cousin recognizing her immediately and holding her tightly against his chest. 

_ <Enough silly fighting…..young girl here to see kin Chewbacca. We go now!> _

The phrase is low and commanding, the depth of his growl only emphasizing the sheer physicality of the young Wookiee male. Judging by even Rey’s rudimentary measurements, her new protector stands almost a foot taller than all the other adults present, his enormity almost certainly exceeding even Chewbacca's immense proportions. 

The crowd thankfully calms their frenzy as all arguments slowly die out, the tribe sensing Grizzall is not in any mood to be challenged. 

Even still, an elderly Wookiee female tries in vain to grasp at Rey's hand, overcome by some unknown impulse in that moment to touch her. But Grizzall is too quick. The young male growls and bares his teeth to the old Wookiee as he turns Rey away from the crowd. 

_ <Enough!> _

The female swiftly takes a step back, bowing her head and cowering in submission. The rest of the eager group follow suit, parting along the middle to offer Rey and Grizzall a safe passage through. 

The young Wookiee huffs heavily in indignation but relaxes his iron hold on Rey.

Ushering her forward gently, he carefully guides her by the elbow toward the small pulley lift. The simple elevation system the most direct route to the next level of bridges and wide verandas. 

_ <Girl….. _ _No_ _...Sunshine….. > _Grizzall corrects himself with a scowl as they step inside and leave the disappointed, blinking masses behind. He carefully pulls her cloak around her and gestures for Rey to close it to guard against the many curious eyes that watch them from above.

< _Sunshine should have told Chewbacca she is coming in this condition! Wookiee elders, most especially unmated female elders, go berserk for pups when Life Day coming. Can be dangerous for humans_ > he scolds her, his heavy black eyebrows set in a severe scowl. Rey looks up at him sheepishly. 

“I wanted it to be a surprise” 

The young male’s eyes narrow, his expression slightly confused. 

< _Forgive me Sunshine,_ _Grizzall_ _not know basic as good as Chewbacca. Can speak slower? > _

Rey nods and repeats the phrase again. Her companion grunts in acknowledgement as he finally grasps her reply. He does not say anything further, leading her on in silence save one or two growls of warning when more eager elders wander too close. 

It does not take long at this pace before Rey and Grizzall find themselves in front of Chewie’s door, the cabin unmistakably his own. The striated wood of the door is adorned by a large Resistance Starbird, the symbol of their galactic victory carved deep into the oaky grain. On either side, the crest of the New Republic flanks it proudly while banners and old Trooper helmets hang by the window. Above Rey's eyeline, there is alternating pattern of smaller emblems scratched into his broad door jamb, the crest of Alderaan and sigil of the Jedi found amidst the seals of his tribe and kin. 

_ < _ _Grizzall_ _ask Chewbacca to stop making scratches on wood. Too much decoration now > _ Grizzall chirrups grumpily as he eyes the embellishments unhappily. 

“I think it’s pretty.” Rey says with a smile, her fingers trailing over of a few of the carvings.

The Wookie harrumphs but makes no further comment. He instead lifts his great, ebony paw to the door and raps his knuckles upon the dense wood. 

_ <This where _ _Grizzall_ _leave you, but Wookiee will keep watch in case kin needs help > _

He does not wait for Rey to reply before thundering off down another lamp lit bridge and into the dark. His form quickly lost to the night. 

Rey soon hears shuffling inside, followed by irritated mutterings in shyriiwook before the door is wrenched open to reveal Chewie’s familiar bulk. 

_ <Chewbacca told all to leave in peace tonight, so go aw...> _

The Wookiee's angry rant is swiftly cut short as his eyes fall on Rey’s pale, surprised face. His own countenance twisting in shock as his mouth falls slack and open. 

< _Sunshine_?>

“Hi Chewie”. 

The old rebel fighter does not move one inch forward as time stretches on painfully, his body frozen in shock as he stares at her completely agog. Rey begins to twist the dark brown sleeves of her robe over her fingers as she shifts from foot to foot in awkwardness. 

“I’m sorry it’s been so long.....” 

Chewbacca huffs loudly as his jaw begins to twitch. He shudders heavily as though rousing disbelief from his eyes and focuses on the very real figure of Rey standing there right in front of him. His jaw twitches again as though there are laments fighting to leave his mouth, words and declarations falling short as emotion overwhelms him. 

Chewie surges forward and pulls Rey into his arms, purring contentedly as he holds her close and lifts her off her feet. 

_ <Good is it to see you Sunshine> _

Rey sighs in relief and returns the embrace, burying her face in his soft, thick fur as she breathes deep. 

“You too Chewie”. 

The two old friends stay like that for a long moment, a tender atmosphere sown in the shared comfort of reunion. This small respite however does not remain for long, a very large impediment and shock driving them apart. 

Chewbacca gasps as a small kick bounces against his chest from Rey’s abdomen, making him all but drop her to the hard, wooden floor. Steadying her carefully as he holds by the shoulders, his keen blue eyes fall on her stomach. Seeing now, perhaps for the first time in stark understanding, the truth of her condition hidden beneath the careful bulk of her heavy cloak. 

He leans closer and draws a long, lung filling breath through his nose, his pupils contracting as he catches the scent that makes his gut drop low in anticipation and excitement. 

  
< _Pup?_ > he asks in wonderment, already knowing the answer as his paw hangs limply just over her rounded bump. Too nervous to make contact and disrupt the delicate creature inside. 

Rey smiles faintly as she nods. 

“Yes Chewie.....I am having a baby” 

Chewie chirrups joyfully, his eyes soft and blindly happy for her as he pulls her in for another embrace. This time his grip a little more cautious. 

_ <Now Chewbacca understand why Sunshine not come visit, been busy it seem! Where mate? Chewbacca want to meet pup’s father! > _ he asks insistently, searching the area behind her for any sign of a companion. 

His eager expression swiftly fades as his gaze falls back to Rey, unable to ignore the pained, dejected look in her eye. He cannot ignore the almost imperceptible tremble of her lips as she chews on the side of her cheek. 

Chewbacca knows then, there will be no fatherly welcome for him to impart, he knows it, as soon as he looks at Rey’s lovely face. A new and terrible anger flares within him, his great paws clenching into fists as a low growl rumbles from his immense chest. 

_ < _ _Which low down man put a pup in you and then leaves_ _Sunshine alone like this? What man dare do that! > _

Rey does not answer him straight away, unable to form the words to tell him the strange and terrible truth of this situation. She simply looks up at her old friend sadly and takes his warm, hairy paw in hers. 

Trying in some mundane way to calm him and prove her own acceptance of the future she will survive alone. But Chewie does not take the offer of comfort and this blind acceptance of fate, enraged that any human man could cause such an affront to her honour.

The honour of someone he loves so dearly it pains him to see her so sorrowful and dimmed of light. 

He leans in closer, taking both her small, graceful hands in one paw as he speaks more desperately. 

_ < _ _Who_ _Sunshine? Just tell_ _who_ _would do such a thing_ _,_ _and Chewbacca_ _will tear both man's arms from his_ _body_ _!_ " 

“It doesn’t matter Chewie.....I'll be fine” Rey answers quietly, her voice thick as unshed tears well at the corner of her eyes. There is a lump forming in her throat now as nervousness and woe fight for dominance in her consciousness. 

The Wookiee’s expression grows thunderous as her words strike him hard, indignant now this desertion has stripped Rey of her fighting spirit. 

_ <No Sunshine, it is> _ he barks loudly < _Who abandon you and pup?_ >

Rey continues to stare up at Chewie uncomfortably, hesitant to utter the name that will change everything between them.

But she has no choice, she knew this as soon as she left the Falcon.

Rey sighs heavily and closes her eyes, letting the words fall anxiously from her lips. 

"Ben....Ben Solo" 

Chewbacca lets go of her and all at once it is as though all the air has been sucked from his lungs. He gapes at her, his chest rising up and down in rapid jolts.  
Rey doesn't know what to do, she can only watch on in bated breath as Chewie processes the information she has let loose. 

She can only hope he does not slam the heavy door in her face and leave her to make the journey home alone in disgrace. 

But even as the time flies by and all signs point to her old friend's blatant disproval of the state in which she has arrived at his doorstep, Chewie does nothing. 

Doesn’t move a single muscle. 

It drives Rey crazy, this not knowing how the wheels of choice will turn in his head. She cannot stop herself from bending to the tension and begging for his understanding, for an answer to the terrible question this declaration demands. 

"Chewie......say something. Please just say something." 

The old Wookiee shakes his head, a mixture of bewilderment and hurt written on his furry features. 

_ <Chewbacca not sure what to say> _ he replies quietly. 

"Say you don't hate me...." Rey begs, her voice hoarse "Say you won’t hate the babe I carry within me, like you did its father”. 

Chewbacca’s immense brow softens, a tenderness found in his gaze. He steps closer again and lays his paw on her cheek, ashamed his behavior could make her believe such things. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

_ <Chewbacca could never hate Sunshine or her _ _sweet_ _pup....._ _for_ _truthfully...._ _Chewbacca could never hate its father either..... > _

He sighs as his eyes glaze over with some unspoken pain. 

_ <Chewbacca loved Boy _ _even when Boy take Smuggler_ _away_ _from Chewbacca_ _. Sunshine need not be afraid.... > _

Rey lets out a heavy breath as relief floods her chest. She sniffles lightly as the tension lifts from her shoulders, placing her hand over his warm, hairy paw. 

“I’m sorry” she whispers back, contrite she could ever believe he would ever reject her “I just thought....” 

_ <Chewbacca just..... _ _sad.....Sunshine could not tell Wookiee. And Chewbacca is......_ _confused. How does such things happen? Boy is....? > _

_“_ It’s complicated.....” Rey interrupts uncomfortably, not in the right frame of mind to explain the torturous intricacies of the Force that has caused this seeming miracle to occur. She barely understands it herself even now. 

_ <And Smuggler’s Boy......he is....> _Chewbacca begins hopefully, this sliver of optimism quickly extinguished as he sees the crushed look of resignation on Rey’s face. 

“He’s gone Chewie......he’s gone and he’s never coming back.” she answers quietly, her tone defeated and dully accepting of the terrible hand she has been dealt. Rey has cried enough tears to know already, there are things in this Universe even she cannot change. 

Chewie gurgles dolefully and pulls her into his chest, unable to think of any other way to react to a woe such as this then to embrace her like his child. He holds her close as unexpected tears fall from his kind, blue eyes, soft shudders escaping his mouth as he weeps.

Chewbacca mourns.

He mourns the little boy he once knew; the young man he tried to help and the dearly departed friend's who would have beamed at the thought of a grandchild. 

He mourns the happiness and the future he knows, Rey so desperately deserves. 

He mourns for the little girl or boy she carries and the father it will never know. 

Chewbacca mourns, because there is nothing else, he can do. 

Rey wraps her arms around his middle as best she can and allows herself to cry for the first time in weeks. The hot burn in her throat oddly cathartic as her tears soak Chewie’s fur. 

The old Wookiee and young Jedi master stay like this for a long time until the tears they shed wrung them dry. 

< _Come_ > Chewbacca chirrups softly as he slowly lets her go < _Malla_ _will wonder where Chewbacca is and mate will be so happy to see you_.>

His smile is weak at best, but real affection shines from far behind it. Rey nods as she smiles up at him warmly, wiping away the last of her tears. 

< _Sunshine can have_ _Lumpawaroo’s_ _bunk, silly son sleeping at kin’s cabin anyway.....my youngling drink too much_ _Coreillan_ _whisky earlier!_ > Chewbacca harrumphs grouchily 

“Han’s stash?” Rey asks with a smirk, her amusement growing as Chewbacca sighs heavily and nods. 

_ <Too strong for foolish half-pups!> _

With that he gently takes her by the hand and leads her into the welcoming warmth of his home, the cabin though simply furnished, is cozy and clean _._

_ <Husband! > _ Malla’s less than pleased voice carries from the other side of the dwelling _ <Where been hiding! _ _Malla_ _told mate to find polish for orbs, hours ago and.... > _

The female’s rant screeches to halt as she catches Rey’s scent, her footsteps thundering into the living area as she gurgles excitedly. 

< _Little Sunshine you are here.... and you are with pup! How wonderful! > _

Malla’s fur is silky against her face as she wraps Rey in a tight hug. 

_ <A most auspicious Life Day, tribe will have with Sunshine at ceremony!> _

“.....or so I’ve been led to believe” Rey replies sardonically, shooting Chewie a knowing look. 

He chuckles lightly as his wife suddenly scurries off in a fluster of excitement, a thrill of mutterings all they can hear as she rushes to tidy a place for Rey at their nightly meal. Rey snorts as the old female seems to sigh in exasperation at the state of her son’s bunk. 

_ <Dirty pup.... _ _dirty,dirty_ _pup! > _

There is a long stretch of silence as the two friends stand there in the middle of the room, digesting the distinct change in circumstances to the last Life Day Rey had spent with them. 

“Chewie” 

Rey’s face is slightly flushed as she stiffly stares at the floor. 

“Thank you.....for being so understanding about all this and for letting me stay....”. 

Chewie coos lowly as his face fills with a fatherly affection. 

_ <Sunshine not need to thank Chewbacca, girl is kin and kin is always welcome. Always.> _

And just like that, any lingering apprehension or doubt Rey feels, disappears into the gentle Kashyyyk night. 

And all that is left, is the simple happiness found in a reunion long overdue. 

* * *

Life Day, as it turns out, is not quite as Rey remembered it.

There is a rush of contentment and great peace that fills Rey the next day when she places her crystalline orb upon the Tree of Life alongside Chewbacca and his kin. The family smile at her and utter good wishes for her unborn pup, excitement brimming from their eyes as though she is one of their own. 

And for the first time in so many moons, just for a moment, Rey is completely happy. 

Her baby kicks lazily as Chewbacca takes by the hand to lead her away from the bustling orb ceremony, guiding them both back toward the colorful festival at the centre of the arboreal city. Her friend tries his best to shield her from the majority of the celebrants, quietly protecting her from overeager elders as the takes his place alongside her at the immense feast table.

Her designated seat for festivities is a place of great honor, positioned just to the right of the eminent Wookiee Chieftain, Tarfful. Chewbacca positively glows with privilege of this position, for it has been a long time since he has had an audience with the Chief. 

The two old friends trade war stories as Rey smiles politely, picking at her food as the celebrations truly begin. Music is played especially for the visiting dignitaries, jolly little ditties that get the younger Wookiees swaying and yowling in merriment. The sagas of brave heroes who fought for Kashyyyk are then told, recalling the fallen ancestors that had fought and died, so that the young could live to see another Life Day in peace. 

The Wookiee’s give thanks to the Tree of Life that sustains them all , and rejoice in the gift of family it continues to bestow. 

Rey watches it all with wonder, quietly moved by the sheer joy they exude from every fibre of their being. 

There is beauty to it she had not appreciated before, a noble spirit to these compassionate creatures who have welcomed her here with such open arms. 

And today of all the days she has spent in the company of Chewie and his people, Rey bears witness to their true nature of their beating hearts. Sees the importance of family and the community, the sacred tenets of their culture they fought an Empire to preserve. 

_Family_. 

_Kin._

_Tribe._

There are no stronger bonds to them in this universe. 

_ <Sunshine.....is girl feeling alright?> _ Chewbacca enquires quietly, leaning in close. There is a distinct concern for her etched on the heavy set of his brow. 

< _Have not touched your_ _orga_ _root or_ _wampa_ _sausage...is pup giving trouble?_ >

Rey offers him a sweet but sedate smile. 

"No, no. I am perfectly fine thank you. Just a little tired." 

Chewie does not look convinced by her offhand excuse, but he offers no rebuke. The heavy frown on his face resists the impulse to relax as he studies her carefully. 

_ <Kin could take Sunshine back to den if needed? _> He suggests gently, but Rey merely shakes her head. 

"No.....I'm okay. I'd like to stay and watch a little longer." 

Chewbacca huffs lightly in disapproval, conscious there is more to the empty shine in her gaze than mere exhaustion but he does not push it. 

He knows better than to pry too much or too deep when it comes to Rey. Experience has taught him that many times over. 

< _Only if sure?_ >

Rey nods back, forcing a cheerful, carefree grin onto her face that makes her features look more pained than serene. 

"Yeah.....I'm sure. I am enjoying myself." 

Her old friend grunts and returns to his meal with a dubious grimace, knowing without a doubt, Rey's thoughts lie elsewhere to the festival. Her mind fixed on the absent, young man she has not yet had the strength to talk to him about. 

_Ben Solo._

It is a startling, upending surprise Chewie has still not had the time to process even now. A mystery that demands solution.

 _But_.

Only Rey truly knows the answer to this conundrum and tragedy of circumstance, but he believes, _he knows_ , she will tell him once she's ready. 

"Chewie...." Rey begins suddenly, her voice faltering for a moment as she watches the festival with vacant eyes. 

"....what was Ben like as a baby?" 

The question throws him for a moment, causing some small morsel of bread to lodge itself low in his throat. He coughs loudly as he tries to recover, glowering darkly at Grizzall as his cousin laughs raucously at him a few seats away. 

Rey smirks at him despite his obvious discomfort, patting at his back as he recovers from the shock. 

“You okay?” she teases as Chewie’s gruff cough subsides. 

_ <Fine....no need to fuss so much> _he grumbles back, taking a long drink from his goblet as he clears the last of the obstruction. Rey’s smirk grows into the first real smile he has seen from her all evening. Her eyes lit with amusement as deep dimples form in her cheeks. 

Chewbacca grunts touchily as he sets his vessel down and shakes his huge head. 

_ <Sometime Sunshine is a cheeky, cheeky pup!> _

Rey snorts and pats his paw affectionately. 

“I know” 

The old Wookie sighs in defeat and reciprocates the gesture. 

_ <Maker above. Sunshine just lucky Chewbacca likes her so much> _

He cannot help but smile back at her as he squeezes her tiny hands in his paw. Rey continues to look up at him warmly, a hint of expectation found in the focus of her gaze. Chewbacca sighs again, this time his heart a little heavy as he speaks. 

_ <Smuggler’s Boy was a beautiful pup. Sweet and so very smart, Boy loved to have Chewbacca carry him high on Wookie’s shoulders when family come visit.> _

Chewie’s eyes grow misty as he remembers it all like it was yesterday. He doesn’t look at Rey as he speaks, old eyes fixed instead on the stars peeking through the canopy above. 

_ <When Boy was very little and Mother had to work, Boy could only sleep well in Chewbacca’s arms. Little fingers wrapped in fur like it was Mother’s soft hair. Boy was so very tiny then. Tiny but beautiful.> _

His words fail him then, a sour, burning sensation rising from his chest as his emotions get the better of him. He swallows deeply and blinks back the regretful tears that threaten to fall. 

When he looks back to Rey, her face is glowing with some untold hope as her glassy eyes regard him gratefully _._

“Thank you Chewie” 

Her voice is soft and barely above a whisper as she pats his arm again, thinking the better of embracing him in this public forum. It seems mawkish somehow. 

Her turbulent gaze slowly drifts from him and back toward the party as she exhales heavily, that same ache in her heart throbbing harder than it had in weeks. 

_ <Chewbacca have _ _holofilms_ _of Boy if Sunshine would like to see? > _

Rey’s head quickly whips back up towards him, a stunned and disbelieving delight spreading on her face. 

_ <Have old archives from Falcon in hut, Smuggler asked Chewbacca to keep safe for him> _

“You have footage of Ben?” 

Her old friend nods with a bittersweet smile. 

_ <Lots> _

Rey lets out a bark of astonished laughter before smiling so brilliantly Chewbacca is sure the whole City can see the light she radiates from every pore. 

“I would love to” 

_ <Now?> _the Wookiee suggests softly. 

Rey pauses and considers the prospect she has been given, slowly shaking her head after a moment. 

“Tomorrow” she says dully, realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. Knowing that innocent little boy is long since gone. 

“I’ll be ready tomorrow”. 

Chewie squeezes her hand gently, understanding immediately her need for delay. It will be a lot to process after the loss she has endured. The two friends return their attentions to the feast as the effort to speak becomes all too much. They sit there in silence for a while, until the voice of another Wookiee breaks the silence. Tarfful no doubt having heard most of their conversation and inferred the implication of their exchanges. 

There is a great and painful grief they share. 

_ <My father _ _Tardullar_ _always say, difficult_ _roads_ _often lead to beautiful destinations_ _. That without struggle,_ _Wookiee_ _and man cannot be truly thankful for the gifts the ancestors give. > _

Rey looks at the Chieftain carefully before raising her goblet of fruit juice and saluting him with a knowing smile. 

“He sounds like a wise father and chief” she replies graciously, earning her a wry smile from Chewie and Tarfful. 

_ <The best> _ the chieftain answers proudly, tipping his goblet as well as he gives Rey an amiable nod. 

_ < _ _Tarfful_ _do hope Jedi Master has enjoyed Life Day > _

“I have, thank you Chief. It has been wonderful.” 

The huge Wookiee gurgles happily and pats her lightly on the head. 

_ <Perhaps on next Life Day, pup can join us again> _

Rey beams as she nods in agreement. 

“I wouldn’t miss it”. 

To her right, Chewbacca purrs happily at the prospect. Overjoyed to know Rey will share this day with him once more. 

The chief continues to chat to her politely for a few more minutes until the conversation comes to its natural end and the Wookiee leader excuses himself to other duties. Rey yawns heavily as she turns back to Chewie, sleepy contentment making her eyes droop as her tiredness becomes too much to ignore. 

Her old friend laughs at her lazy smile and sudden lax posture, seeing without a doubt the day is at its end for her. 

_< Chewbacca thinks, perhaps.....now it is time to return to hut>_ he says drolly, gesturing to Malla across the table his intention to leave. 

Rey chuckles as she rubs at her eyes like a child. 

“You know what, for once, I think you may be right” she shoots back with a grin, not protesting even one bit when he leans down and picks her up like a babe. Too tired to begin to complain even as he carries her the whole way home. 

* * *

Rey stays another full standard week with Chewbacca and his kin upon Kashyyyk, enjoying the very best of Wookiee hospitality. The elders fevered interest in her thankfully fades as Life Day passes and she is finally allowed to explore a little on her own. In so far as, she is permitted to walk the City without Chewbacca, Lumpy or Grizzall having to snarl at overly curious onlookers or shield her from other members of the tribe. 

The imminent arrival of her baby still generates great fascination, especially when _he or she_ decides to kick or move so rapidly the Wookiee’s cannot help but squeal in delight. Enthralled by such a tiny, energetic creature. 

As her time there starts to draw to a close, the strength to speak about Ben finally finds Rey and on the last evening before she departs once more for Chandrila, she and Chewbacca watch the holofilms of his childhood and speak of the things that have long needed to be told.

They talk long into the night and by the breaking of the vibrant dawn, every tear of sorrow and bittersweet happiness is spent from their bodies. 

But it is freeing somehow. 

Chewbacca walks Rey back to the Falcon in the late evening once they have slept off the worst of their exhaustion. He smiles and commends her on the relatively pristine condition of the freighter, blatantly proud of her good work and effort. 

“Yeah well.....Han would have my hide in the afterlife if I let the old girl go to rack and ruin” Rey smirks as she takes the last of her baggage aboard the ship, stubbornly insisting on carrying the large crate of fruit Malla had gifted her without help. 

Chewbacca shakes his head at her, appalled by Rey's hard headedness in this condition as he watches her struggle to lower the heavy load. 

“I’m fine...... don’t even say a word” Rey huffs touchily as she turns and notices his critical expression. The Wookiee growls softly in disproval but lets the issue go, he shrugs his shoulders as she walks past him to secure the cargo straps 

The young woman busy herself as he stands in the middle of the Falcon, reminiscing for a moment. 

_ <Where Sunshine off to now? _ _Chandrila_ _or off on another silly adventure? > _ he teases as his paw runs over the holochess board with a sad smile. 

“Chandrila” Rey chuckles back, coming to stand beside him as his old eyes remember things she is too young to know or see. 

“....at least until Rose goes into labor.....which shouldn’t be too long to be honest....then Endor for a while.” 

_ <And students?> _ he asks, cocking his head to one side as he clutches at something is his knapsack. 

“My senior students are holding down the fort for now, but Jannah will take over in the next few weeks. I can’t spar like I used to....” Rey answers with a sardonic smile. 

< _After that...._ >

“I don’t know” Rey sighs honestly, quite frankly she hasn’t thought that far ahead. Her priorities are bound to skew and change, thus her responsibilities will need to be adjusted when the time comes. 

Chewie nods, a low rumble of sound reverberating from his throat as he considers her answer. The two friends stand in silence for a moment, not really sure what else to say. 

There is not much else left _to say_ for the time being. 

Chewie grunts awkwardly as he shakes himself out of this stilted quiet, reaching into his knapsack to retrieve something buried deep within. 

He pulls out a small, ancient holoprojector, worn and heavily dented from many years of use. 

_ <Here> _ he chirrups softly < _This is for Sunshine. Chewbacca got Lumpy to transfer copy of_ _holofilms_ _to play for pup._ >

Rey stares at the old device with wonderous delight, not certain how best to react. 

She takes the projector from him with shaking hands and absolutely beams when a small holograph of Ben flashes up in blue. The little dark eyed baby so sweet and cherubic, it beggars believe to know the huge man he became. 

“Thank you Chewie, I love it”. 

Rey reaches forth and buries her face in his chest as she hugs him, laughing heartily when her bump immediately begins to bounce with kicks. 

“I guess my little Peanut wants to say thank you too!” 

Chewbacca’s blue eyes are soft and full of affection as he looks at Rey with a smile. 

< _Take good care of that pup Sunshine......Chewbacca cannot wait to meet it > _

With that he takes his leave and exits the ship, vowing to see her as soon as he can and to be by her side when the time is right. He will be there to hold her hand if she needs him. 

For to witness the birth of Han grandchild, his most dearly missed friend, is a gift he could never refuse. 

To Chandrila he would go soon.

* * *

Rey barely makes it back to Chandrila and home to her penthouse before she receives multiple frantic holocalls from Finn, his words spoken in rapid, barely intelligible rushes of panic. It takes Rey a few attempts to understand the message, her own voice screeching in excitement when the phrase ‘ _Rose’s waters have broken’_ finally permeates her skull. It seems their eager little girl had decided to begin her entrance to this wild, wide universe in the middle of their evening meal, startling her father no end! 

Rey tries not laugh as Finn describes in chaotic babblings the mayhem that has ensued, surprised to hear they now are on their way to the Core Worlds as fast as their little cruiser can carry them. 

Clearly the appeal of delivering among the well-meaning but slightly primitive Ewoks, has lost its shine in this moment of clarity, the calm steady presence of Dr Kalonia a much greater prospect for their piece of mind. Rey immediately offers them a room at her home, rather than allow them the displeasure of the clinical coldness of the medbay in which she had spent so much time. Her penthouse would provide the comfort and privacy they would need for the marathon they were about to endure, particularly Rose! 

The young couple swiftly and gratefully accept, calling the good doctor along the way to inform her of their decision and Rose’s condition. Unfortunately for Rey, the medical droids arrive at the penthouse well before the expectant mother and her doctor. The conscientious machines mistakenly trying several times to coax Rey into the impromptu delivery suite with dogged determination. 

No matter how many times she insists she is not the one in labour, the droids remain tenacious in their attempts to tend to her. 

<Patient must move to treatment room. Scan is required>

“Maker above! I am not the right pregnant lady, so stop trying to sedate me!” 

Rey squirms away from the 2-1B unit as it tries once again to administer a syringe of pain and anti-anxiety medication. The droid beeps indignantly and lunges for her arm for the third time. 

“GO AWAY”. 

“2-1B8......stop harassing our host, you have the wrong patient” Dr Kalonia calls wearily, giving the droid a disdainful glare. 

<Female is pregnant and in final trimester, hormone levels are elevated> the small medical machine argues back, trundling reluctantly over to the doctor. 

“Yes.....but that doesn’t mean she is in labor. Have your scans detected any contractions or found the baby to be low in the uterus?” 

The droid makes a low, whistling noise of annoyance before rolling past Harter Kalonia without argument. The other droids follow suit and make their way down the hall into the guest room. 

“My apologies Master Skywalker, 2-1B8 can be a little overcautious.....and very stubborn.” 

Rey chuckles lightly as the doctor blushes awkwardly, clearly embarrassed. 

“No harm, no foul Harter! Now where is Ro..” 

There is sudden cacophony of sounds by the door, followed by an almost ungodly scream. 

“Kark it Finn you are never, _and I mean never_ , going anywhere near my vagina again!” 

Rey has to bite her lip to stop herself from bursting out in laughter as Finn and Rose come barreling into the living area, Finn’s face unnaturally flushed and sweaty as he struggles to carry all of Rose’s bags. The soon to be mother is bent over in agony as her own face reddens, hands clutching at her stomach as she guides the electric wheelchair forward. 

“MAKER!” she shouts again with real purpose “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT”. 

Dr. Kalonia shares a bemused smirk with Rey as they both bite back their giggles, the scene too ridiculous to ignore. The good doctor though quickly recovers her composure and steps closer to Rose with a solemn but compassionate look on her face. 

“Miss Tico....I am so glad you arrived in one piece, if you would like to follow me, we can get you a little more comfortable”. 

“I don’t think comfort is something I’m likely to expect” Rose shoots back with a pained expression, her breath rushing out a gush of air as her face contorts. 

“Being comfortable went out the window weeks ago”. 

Harter Kalonia’s lip curls for a moment in a wry smile, unable to deny the truth in her words. 

“Well....let us at least get you settled; it is going to be a long night.” 

Rose nods and sighs heavily, following after the doctor without another word before another contraction knocks her for six. Finn looks dazed as he watches them leave, sweat pouring down his brow in nervousness and strain. He stands motionlessly in the hallway for a moment as if in shock, not moving one inch or even blinking. 

“Finn!” Rey calls with a quizzical rise of her brow “....Finn are you okay?” 

Her friend jumps, gasping softly as he snaps back to attention. He’s is deadly pale when he looks at Rey. 

“Yeah....I’m fine. Just.....” 

“Terrified?” 

Finn gulps heavily, a wave of nausea rippling over his features. 

“Pretty much....” he answers quietly. 

Rey strides forward and removes some of the items in his laden arms, capturing his hand in hers when his arms are empty once more. 

“Come on....let’s go meet your daughter”. 

Rey’s soothing tone is like a calming balm to Finn’s worried, stricken soul. His eyes brightening as he squeezes her hand for reassurance. 

“Okay”. 

* * *

The morning is bright and sunny in Hana City when Lily Paige Tico finally makes her long awaited entrance into the world. One long health scream of life booms from her tiny lungs as her little fists clench and swing in angry, terror at being parted from her warm cocoon. She is perfect in every possible way, thick, black curly hair the first thing Rey see's as Finn shakily cut the cord. Tears streaming down his face.

Rose is similarly overwhelmed, her lips trembling when Dr Kalonia places the wailing, swaddled infant to her chest. Wonder and vivid relief shining from her tired eyes. Lily's woeful cries calm as she hears her mother's gentle voice, fear allayed as she smells the familiar, comfort of her skin. The newborns little face relaxing as Finn kisses her head and mumbles words of love and happiness in her ear. 

Making promises to protect her with every ounce of his strength until the day he dies.

He has never looked so in love.

"She's beautiful" Rey whispers through her own tears, deliriously happy for her gleeful friends.

There is a peace in the Force as the baby drifts to sleep, exhausted by her ordeal. It pulses low and steady, and fills the room with such sweet contentment.

Rey already knows, this little one will be strong in the Force just like her Daddy and incredibly smart just like her Mommy.

Rey leaves not long after, not wanting to impede too long on their privacy as the medidroids begin to speak of feeds and colostrum.

There are things only they should experience together.

Rey is beyond exhausted now anyway, having held Rose's terrified hand all night as the labor progressed.

She slips down the hall to her own quarters as a yawn splits her mouth, the softness of her bed a delightful treat to her aching body. She doesn't even bother stripping down beyond the removal of her shoes, before wrapping herself in the wide expanse of her sheets. Rey is just about to drop off to a blissful sleep when a kick sparks her to attention.

"Really.....now is the time you pick to say hello today?" she chuckles weakly, running her hand over her abdomen.

"Peanut, Momma is too tired to talk to you now".

The baby kicks again and Rey knows there will be no reasoning with it. She sighs heavily as its little feet and arms press upon muscles with a sudden burst of energy. There will be little chance of sleep with all this rush of movement inside her, but then an idea strikes her as her wandering hand meets something familiar in her pocket.

Pulling out the holoprojector from her robe, Rey careful moves through the holofilms it holds. Flicking through months and years of Ben's of life at a rapid pace. Her breath catches as Ben's face begins to change and form the one she had came to love as the images moves to adulthood.

Pressing on the device, the holograph begins to play a message Ben had sent to his mother, his form fresh faced and no older than twenty. His voice is almost the same as she remembers, higher perhaps, but filled with that same timbre and inflection she knows only as Ben Solo.

The message is nothing special as Ben boredly recounts some new lightsabre form he'd learned at the temple, but just hearing his voice makes Rey's heart leap. It makes her feel so whole.

She gulps deeply and swallows down that lump that forms in her throat, placing the holoprojector on her bump as closes her eyes to listens.

"Peanut.....this is your Daddy.....he'll keep you company while I sleep."

The baby within her moves excitedly at the foreign sound vibrating through Rey's stomach, but seems to calm and listen as Ben's deep voice enchants it. The depth of him, a sound it seems to like so very much.

Rey smiles as she listens and pretends, just for a moment, Ben is really here.

Before long, both mother and baby are lulled to sleep by the soothing, sound of the past.

Dreaming of a time, somehow, somewhere, they would all see each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, the whole section on Kashyyyk with Chewie was supposed to be substantially shorter, but I loved writing it and had to make a last minute change to the chapter structure. Essentially the BIG event I had intended to include has been temporarily pushed to the next chapter.
> 
> Ben Solo will 100% be in our next episode of angst and melodrama, I hope you can survive until then :)
> 
> p.s...I may edit the end of this chapter as I wrote it at 4am ....
> 
> Chapter 21 will be up asap!


	21. Leto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a journey of discovery, while Ben may finally find a way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> I am sorry this chapter is late, but I had one hell of a November!  
> I cannot express how happy I am this chapter is done, I wrote the bones of this back in February and I have been so eager to share it since then.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the latest chapter and thank you so much for all your kudos's, comments and general wonderfulness as readers :)
> 
> It all means a lot.
> 
> The chapter is about twice the length it was supposed to be and I was tempted to split it in two, however I thought people may actually hurt me if I delayed Ben's return any longer!
> 
> My one wish for Xmas (which is fast approaching) is to get to 500 Kudos, so if you liked this episode of "my overly long fix-it fic", please pop me a kudos :)
> 
> More notes to follow below!
> 
> Until then, happy holidays.  
> -RedCatRen xxx

In the years since becoming a Jedi Master, there had been rare moments when Rey fleetingly questioned her life choices. Short reflective episodes of depersonalization in which she lamented her own hubris and inability to back down from a challenge.

As infrequent as these episodes would be, these bouts of deliberation were particularly vivid when it came to her overly ambitious decision to teach so many young students.

 _Alone_.

When Rey had determined upon setting up a new Jedi Temple on Chandrila, she had perhaps, _at the time_ , not fully considered the ramifications upon own her sanity this would mean. Nor did she anticipate the hidden consequences to taking on so many rambunctious and at times, draining children would mean to her enthusiasm for teaching in general!

Some of her dearest friends had postulated at the time, if this may be a slight misstep on her part. Knowing what it would mean to fulfil this complicated endeavor and responsibility, all by herself.

How would she balance her the time between teaching a gaggle of demanding yearling and a guiding two very impressionable and powerful Padawan’s through the quagmire that was late adolescence?

Rey know firsthand what it will mean if their transition to adulthood is mismanaged, how the temptations of the dark and the idealism of youth, can twist and sour a once pure soul into fanaticism and rage.

As with everything, there is always a fine balance between consequence and action, between guiding them toward the light and allowing them to be _who they are_.

But Rey remained cautiously optimistic despite her moments of doubt, certain she could handle almost anything they throw her way provided the lines of communications remained open.

This is an unenviable task she has undertaken, guiding the next generation of Jedi in their pursuit of balance in that great mystery of life they called the living Force.

It challenges her even now, maintaining the equilibrium between the light and dark that exists within every student.

_But Rey loves every minute of it._

However, there are still days Rey seriously regrets her eagerness and youthful naivety. Bemoans her total lack of foresight when it came to how much she could take on alone.

And yet there were other days she could not imagine it any other way.

Relishing the simple joy of seeing them develop and grow.

"MASTER SKYWALKER......MASTER SKYWALKER.....".

_Unfortunately, this was not one of those days._

".....Matthew said I smell like poop again!"

Rey sighs as she turns to face her youngest student Vala with a strained look of sympathy. The tiny young girl with the big green eyes and beautifully plaited blonde hair, has of course come to demand her attention at the most inopportune time.

Rey has other priorities at this very moment, mainly to find a quiet corner to sit and receive Poe Dameron’s urgent call.

He had sent word earlier that morning that he wanted to speak with her asap, his message vague and oddly solemn. Given his stilted delivery and less than warm tone, Rey gathers this will not a social call.

Poe had made that very clear in his holo, his recorded video dripping with Senatorial authority and an uncharacteristic demand for seriousness.

Unfortunately, Vala does not register these signs of reluctance to chat, bursting into her indignant tale with a quick puff of her little cheeks before Rey has a chance to dismiss her.

"Then he said I was farting during mediations, but it was _HIM_ doing stinky ones! He's the one who smells of poopy!"

Rey groans internally, she really doesn't have time for this right now.

"Okay, well Vala, that is very naughty of Matthew and...."

"And then Ruairhi started making himself burp and he burped in my face and then...." Vala continues with growing dismay, interrupting her Master as she prattles on.

_Maker above, this was painful._

Rey pinches the bridge of her nose as the young girl continues with little to no pause, her complaints very much grating on Rey’s limited patience. Her tolerance for trivial grievances such as these, have diminished more and more as the months have progressed.

Now so close to her full term and devoid of most to _any_ of the physical comforts she once knew, Rey’s constant state of irritation lies barely concealed beneath the skin.

It will not take much to raise her ire if she’s not careful.

“Vala... I know this can be very annoying.....but...”

“....Agneta pushed him over and I told her not to push others because it was unkind and then....”

Rey cannot take it anymore and begins to walk away before she snaps at the youngling. But to her immense chagrin, the little girl keeps trailing after her with even more complaints.

“ _Matthew ,_ he told me to shut up because I was a stinky poop head and...”

The child is so young and usually so sweet, Rey cannot find it in her heart to shoo the young girl away. In truth, she is only doing as any indignant seven-year-old would do.

_But Maker, is it a chore._

Vala keeps talking loudly about further indiscretions, but Rey is no longer listening. Her mind instead turning toward ways she can gently distance the child from her person. Her time is sincerely running out at this point and Poe does not seem in the mood to wait.

Rey practically jumps with joy as she spots Jannah standing just ahead, her friend chatting with one of padawan’s, totally unaware of the burden she’s about to receive.

Feeling a little guilty before she even enacts her unscrupulous plans, Rey winces internally at what she’s about to do.

But it must be done, for sacrifices must be made for the greater good!

“Vala.....” Rey says more firmly as she grinds to a stop and finally gets the child to cease her incessant chatter.

“That all sounds just awful and I wish I could help you, but you see..... the baby needs me to rest right now so it can sleep......it needs lots of sleep so it can grow up big and strong like you...”

Vala’s little face flushes in unexpected pride, no one has ever referred to as big and strong before. She is so taken aback by the compliment; she does not detect the barefaced lie her dear master told her.

“How do you know it needs to sleep?” Vala asks with innocent curiosity.

Rey’s smile is forced as she keeps her face neutral, avoiding the impulse to sigh in frustration as she answers.

“I just do.....I can feel it sometime through..... the Force”.

“The baby in your tummy?” Vala asks with wide, saucer like eyes “It talks to you?”.

Her little voice is full of wonder as she stares up at Rey’s big, rounded stomach, her mouth falling open in shock.

“That’s amazing!”

“Yes it is....” Rey replies a little more gently as she places her hand on Vala’s shoulder ” So you see......I know it’s time now for the baby to nap. You understand?”.

Vala nods enthusiastically for a moment before a realization crosses her young features, disappointment turning her mouth down into a pout.

“But what about Matthew and Ruairhi and Agneta” she demands touchily. Rey smiles wider, relieved the child has taken the bait so willingly.

“Why don’t you go tell Master Jannah over there, all about the naughty younglings.” she urges softly as she leans closer and points the eager girl in the direction of her hapless friend.

“I am sure she will be happy to help”.

Vala hesitates for a moment, a little unsure of this other Master who seems stern and tellingly indifferent to their silly fights.

But.

Master Skywalker’s baby needs sleep to grow and she does not want to be unkind to the baby in her tummy. Not when she knows, she will get to meet it soon!

“Okay” Vala agrees with a solemn frown as she catches Rey’s eye for a moment “I will es’plain to Master Jannah”.

With that she trots off down the corridor toward the unsuspecting Jannah with an abrupt bellow of _Master Jannah_.

Rey lightly snorts as her friend immediately winces and grits her teeth, shooting Rey a look that screams ‘ _You owe me big’._

Rey nods in concession and returns her a conspiratory wink, before gratefully slipping away to her quarters on the floor above.

* * *

Rey has not long returned home and ensconced herself in her favourite armchair, when her holoprojector begins to vibrate violently in the calm silence of the penthouse. The small device angrily groans against the hardwood surface of her caf table as Poe’s name flashes up with an insistent blare of light.

It is jarring to say the least, the alert a harsh blue demand in the muted warmth of her living room.

Sighing in resignation, Rey presses the receive button and braces herself for whatever disaster Poe wants to discuss.

His gaze is warm as his handsome face fills the holo, yet there is a strain and exhaustion to be found in the dark circles forming under his eyes. A tightness in the line of his mouth that tells Rey, they are about to have a difficult discussion.

“Hey!”

His immediate salutation is relatively chipper, and his smile is relaxed as it stretches across his mouth. Even still, Rey cannot help but be put on alert.

For there is something false in the way his good humour seems to turn on like a switch, that politician’s smile an empty expression on his face.

“Hey yourself” Rey responds amiably with a guarded smirk “To what do I owe the pleasure?”.

“Do I really need a reason to call upon my favourite girl?” Poe replies smoothly with a charming arch of his brow, smirking almost flirtatiously at her as Rey rolls her eyes.

Rey huffs back lightly, unable to stop her lips from quirking up in a brief smile. Her friend’s infectious affability hard thing to resist.

Rey’s initial amusement at his attempts at flattery quickly fade as she remembers his early insistence to speak.

He had said it was urgently important.

“Maybe not......but somehow...... I don’t think you called just to catch up, did you?” she answers dryly, shooting him a pointed look. Poe laughs awkwardly at her directness, his eyes dropping to a spot just off-screen as he re-gathers himself.

“It always surprises me just how blunt you are sometimes…”

“I’m not blunt, I’m direct"

“Semantics sweetheart…..you always need to get right to the point….no small talk" Poe teases with a good-natured grin.

Rey blushes lightly, feeling oddly called out by his comments. She crosses her arms across her chest and lets out a weary huff. Not in the mood to humor his ribbing, no matter how gentle it may appear.

“Look, I am very busy Dameron, I don’t have time to….”

“Okay, okay…. _fine_ ” he interrupts, raising his hands in gesture of defeat and placation.

“Just cool your jets would you.”

He shakes his head as he gives her a wry smile. Rey sighs again but relaxes her posture a little, giving him her full attention.

Poe’s usually jovial expression darkens as he takes a deep breath, his jaw working tightly as his body language grows tense.

“Look….I’ll cut straight to the chase. You and I, we’ve got a big problem”

Rey’s brow furrows in confusion, her mind immediately kicking into overdrive as Poe’s words permeate her skull.

It is not the answer she was expecting.

Her first instinct is to assume a military insurrection, _but_ , it has been well over two years since the Third Republic has been under even the most minor of threats.

All remnants of the First Order hierarchy have been long since hunted and subdued, the last of their dissident groups subdued and disbanded many moons ago.

It is possible they had missed some stray cell in the maze of the Outer Rim, she admits to herself it is entirely possible.

But Rey somehow doubts they would have the resources or connections left to mount an offensive to trouble the Republic much. Furthermore, most of the crime syndicates have been wiped out and any small cartels that remain in the fringe worlds of the Galaxy, would be very quick to deal with a rising fascist element in their territories.

It would draw too much attention from the Core Worlds if they didn’t.

The more Rey thinks about it, the more she doubts it is a security threat which vexes Poe’s conscience.

Poe’s words work themselves round her head once more as her thoughts drift.

_We’ve got a big problem._

Rey sits up straighter as she chews heavily on her lip, apprehensive now to hear what he’s about to tell her.

“What kind of trouble?” she asks hesitantly, her voice low and monotone.

“A diplomatic one....” Poe answers sardonically, smirking despite the troubled look in his eyes.

Rey’s confusion returns, her whole face screwing up in bewilderment at his reply. She is no politician, her approach to problem solving much too uncompromising to make an effective legislator.

Though she is a prominent public figure, she does not have the patience or charm that Poe possesses to operate within the Senate.

Rey wracks her brain and tries to understand why he would bring this to her, especially given her present condition.

“ _Diplomatic_...and this involves me how?”

Poe huffs lightly, an oddly amused look gracing his features.

“A lot more than you think”.

Rey gapes at him, her eyes narrowing as she struggles to find any reasonable explanation.

“How …..I mean I....”

Words fail her for a moment, her bewilderment too much of an impediment to ignore.

Poe purses his lips as he watches her mind turn, that same unexpected amusement sparkling in his eyes. He knows it shouldn’t be funny, this hot water he seems to have found himself in because of Rey, yet he cannot find it in himself to scold her for it.

Not when he is so blatantly complicit.

“So....Remember when you stole all that priceless wine from Varykino....” he begins with a sly smile, giving Rey a knowing look with the arch of his dark brow. Rey’s face immediately brightens as it finally dawns on her, biting gently on her tongue as she resists the urge to snort in laughter.

“Liberated Poe, I liberated it” she interrupts with a guilty grin.

“Fine....remember when you ’ _liberated’_ all that priceless wine from Varykino _”_

 _“....._ of which _you_ subsequentially drank at least nine bottles? _”._

Poe has the decency to at least flush and wince a little as her words tug at his conscience, his creeping ignominy too hard to ignore.

 _“_ Yeah, that wine....” he confirms with an awkward clearing of his throat “...the royal family has _requested_ you return it immediately”.

Rey’s grin grows more brazen, strangely proud she has caused such a fluster.

“I see, so they finally noticed.....it only took nine months.....”

“Yeah well......admittedly it would have been a lot longer but Dehvasa just got re-elected as Queen of Naboo for another four years. They finally had reason to celebrate and she was less than pleased, shall we say, to find out you absconded with a third of their store.” Poe admonishes, a little frustrated Rey is responding to this so glibly.

“ _A third_ , what utter kark that is....!” Rey argues “You know as well as I do, six cases is well below a third of the hoard they have in that cellar. There are well over two hundred cases down there and almost as many barrels of whiskey if you look hard enough!”

“Yes.....but not all those collections are the same, some reserves are rarer than others and unfortunately, everything you took.....”

“Liberated”.

Poe curses under his breath as his eyes darken.

“ _Liberated...”_ he spits back grumpily “.... it was part of a rare collection of less than two hundred bottles......of which you have sixty”.

“I have forty-five” Rey corrects him “...You, Maz and Finn drank the rest”.

Poe flushes deeper, his posture growing uncomfortable as he shifts in his chair. It is foolish of him to try to deny it, he is as much at fault as she is.

“I know...” he mutters unhappily “But....”

“Can’t I just play dumb about their value, apologize to Dehvasa and return what’s left?” Rey interjects huffily. Obviously, it is not ideal for the Queen is not likely to take kindly to the absence of fifteen bottle, but what else can she do?

What’s done, is done.

Poe scratches at the back of his neck, features twisting as he reacts.

“Unfortunately….it’s a little more complicated than that".

Reys posture seems to deflate, that bluster gone as her stomach sinks in dread.

“Dehvasa’s private envoy has suggested reparations….perhaps more.”

 _Great-_ Rey thinks unhappily, just what she needs at a time like this.

The baby shifts uncomfortably in her belly, sensing the unease and the tension that grips her body. Rey places a warm palm over her abdomen, sending a wave of soothing calm that swiftly eases the fretting child back to sleep.

Rey sighs heavily, her attention shifting back to Poe with little enthusiasm.

“What sort of reparations are they demanding, Dehvasa knows I don’t have many credits.... _at least_....not enough to cancel out this sort of debt?”

“Let me worry about that” Poe sighs wearily as he runs a sun bronzed hand through his salt and pepper hair “it's not as if I’m blameless.....”

Rey’s face brightens, a relieved smile pulling at the edge of her lips. She is just about to offer him her thanks when Poe beats her to the punch, reading her thoughts with little effort.

“Don’t thank me yet.....” he says grimly “....credits alone aren’t going to be enough.”

Rey rubs hard against the coiling tightness that has formed between her brows, pressing her thumb direct on the knot as a headache threatens to break.

“Okay....what _do_ they want?” she asks plainly. Poe shrugs, his eyes flashing with concern as he regards her worn, but pretty face.

“Honestly, I don’t know....but the Queen wants to speak to you. _Today”_

Rey groans as she covers her face with her hands, less than pleased by the prospect.

This call is getting worse by the minute.

“Rey...” Poe begins quietly, a note of begging in his voice “please? For me?”

Rey exhales harshly as an unhappy grimace sours her usually sunny smile.

“Fine….I’ll talk to her…when is she pl..”

“An hour, her security detail is already on their way......” Poe gushes out, his face flushing guiltily.

“WHAT?” Rey explodes, her eyes growing impossibly wide as she jolts forward.

“SHE’S ALREADY ON HER WAY HERE?”

_Kark it all to hell._

Poe scratches at his neck again, this anxious tick getting worse as he avoids her now murderous glare.

“Why didn’t you tell me, _no_.....WARN ME before now!”

“I only just got the call, I promise.”

Rey growls angrily as she buries her face in her hand once more, lamenting this is a disaster of an afternoon.

She has no choice but to submit and be civil.

Raising her head with a harsh and heavy exhale, she looks down with embarrassment at the grubby, shapeless robes she is wearing from her morning classes. The dusty tan of her tunic a far cry from the sumptuous silk dress she had worn to the Royal Ball all those months ago.

However, there is nothing she can do now for there are very few items in her wardrobe that fit her at this stage in her pregnancy.

Function will have to win over fashion.

“Why did you waste time pussyfooting around?” she huffs angrily, slowly pushing herself with great difficulty to her feet “It should have been the first thing out of your mouth.”

“I had to explain why.....would you have agreed to the meeting if I hadn’t?” he argues back, crossing his arm over his chest as he levels her a loaded scowl. Rey scoffs loudly, narrowing her eyes at him.

“It’s not as if I could refuse either way.....she’s the Queen of Naboo”.

“Still.....she has no jurisdiction on Chandrila”

Rey looks at Poe with a skeptical rise of her brow.

“Like hell she doesn’t.....Naboo is our closest ally.”

“And yet you chose to _steal_ from them...”

Rey huffs loudly in frustration as she throws her hands up in defeat.

“Fine.....but it’s not as if you tried to stop me”.

Poe snorts unexpectedly, that same rueful mirth returning.

“Which is why I’m paying a hefty price for it out of my own stupid pocket.”

Rey scowls as her fingers start to twist on material on the edge of her sleeves, dread lurching in her gut.

“What if they try arrest me? I don’t want to be put on trial in this condition.”

There is very real fear in her eyes as she looks back at Poe with trepidation. Poe’s wry smile softens into genuine affection as he looks at her.

“They won’t, I am certain they won’t. Dehvasa is reasonable woman...... most of the time.”

Rey opens her mouth to argue he is being blindly optimistic, when the sound of her incoming house droid draws her attention elsewhere.

D-3SE is quickly at her side, his shiny silver face rising just above Poe’s hollow form as he looks at her blankly.

_“My apologies for the intrusion ma’am, but....there are three rather large men waiting in the vestibule”_

_Great-_ she groans internally.

“I guess that’s the security team…..as promised” Rey spits through gritted teeth, looking about as unenthusiastic as she possibly can.

“And that…..is my cue to leave" Poe muses a little too brightly for Reys liking, his friend rounding on him with a fiery rage.

“Don’t you dare disconnect…..you’re not leaving me to handle this alone!”

Poe chuckles unexpectedly, his dark eyes surprisingly playful.

“I’m not, I promise. See you in an hour beautiful “.

With that the connection dies and Poe’s blue face disappears, leaving Rey blinking with confusion in his wake.

She sighs heavily, somehow doubtful he will make good on his word.

“ _Ma’am?_ ” the attentive droid beeps suddenly, pulling her startled eyes back to him with a slight gasp. In her anger and worry, Rey had almost forgotten he was there.

“W _hat_ _shall I do about our unannounced guests_?”

Rey pauses and looks at D-3SE thoughtfully for a moment, her hand smoothing down the rumpled material of her overly loose robe.

“Show them into the dining room, I will be along in a few moments".

With that, she strides as quickly as she can manage toward the safety of her room. Intent on making what little changes she can to improve her bedraggled appearance. If she is to face the formidable, sharp stare of Queen Dehvasa, Rey would do it with her head held high.

* * *

In the end, Rey settles for a simple pair of stretchy beige legging and an overly large, emerald green tunic that brings out the colour of her eyes. Her hair is freshly washed and braided delicately down her back in preparation for this showdown. Her usual weather-beaten desert boots have been replaced with a pair of soft, chocolate brown leather brogues that fit her like a glove. It is not her most professional or inspiring outfits, but in the end, it is the best she can do at short notice.

“You look positively glowing” Poe gushes sincerely as Rey steps out of her room with a scowl.

She narrows her eyes at him as she passes him, shaking her head while her footsteps pound angrily against the plush penthouse carpets.

“I really like that colour on you, it’s...”

“Don’t....just don’t” she growls back, thundering on towards the dining room in a flurry of indignation.

It is Caen, the Queen’s affable, younger brother that greets Rey first as the royal party arrive a few minutes later, his large, violet eyes filled with warmth as he bows low.

“Master Skywalker, how wonderful it is to see you again.”

Poe rises swiftly from his seat beside her, striding forward to shake the young noble’s hand with a polite smile. Rey goes to do the same, but Caen’s hand quickly flicks out in a gesture of halt, stilling her progress with an embarrassed blush.

“Please Ma’am, do not do me the disservice of forcing yourself to your feet, especially in your condition! It would be an honour to approach you instead”.

Poe smirks as the young man glides over to Rey’s side and plants a dry, chaste kiss to the back of her hand. Rey blinks back up at him slightly bemused, strangely flustered somehow by his unexpected eagerness and overt display of chivalry.

“I hope you are well sir” she manages to mutter back, her cheeks growing pink as Poe silently guffaws in the background. He has long teased Rey about Caen’s obvious infatuation with her, and now with the young man gazing at her so fondly, she cannot ignore the truth.

To say he favours her would be an understatement.

“I am Master Skywalker, I am” he answers smoothly, his perfect white teeth flashing beautifully against the smooth caramel colour of his skin.

He goes to say some else, his mouth opening in an almost playful turn of his lips, when the rest of Dehvasa’s entourage enter the room and interrupt his train of thought.

The first thing Rey notices is the Queen’s gargantuan personal guards as they slip swiftly to every corner of the room, two more watchmen stationing themselves just outside the double doors , their dark eyes watching the proceedings in utter silence.

As Queen glides elegantly across the Walnut parquet floor, Rey notes with genuine surprise, that the usually ornate sovereign is adorned in nothing more than a simple, cotton dress and matching cloak. The soft and cheerful corn blue, a world away from the graceful glamour Rey had come to expect from leaders of her stature. Dehvasa’s dark auburn hair is pinned back in a half up, half down style that softens her probing, violet gaze somehow as it falls on Rey.

It makes her seem more human, approachable in fact.

Poe is quickly at her side, bowing dramatically low and kissing her large, bejeweled rings with all the practiced ease of a natural statesman. The Queen smiles at him stiffly, murmuring a customary greeting so low, Rey cannot quite catch it. The two quickly part, turning their attention instead to Rey’s curious gaze. A hardening of their features stoking her apprehension further.

Rey makes a valiant attempt to rise to her feet after an awkward beat, fully intending to welcome the travel weary monarch properly, but once more, her attempts at decorum are swiftly thwarted.

“Please young Master stay where you are. I have no need for curtsies and all that stuffy rubbish.” The Queen says kindlier than Rey expects.

“I have already imposed myself upon your time without invitation, I do not deign to expect you to follow such frivolous formalities.”

Rey flushes despite her obvious agreement that such rituals seem unnecessary given what they are about to discuss. She is nothing _but_ reluctant to bow and fawn after their last meeting. However, judging by the infinitesimal rising of Poe’s brow and the guileless charm of Caen, she must at least attempt to be civil.

“It is an honour to have you in my home your majesty and I do hope your journey was uneventful” she manages to respond with a forced smile, bowing her head low in imitation of deference.

“It was, thank you.”

“I have certainly had worse” Caen adds dryly, moving to take a seat on the opposite side of the large dining table. Thankfully he does not choose to sit directly facing Rey, that pride of place reserved instead for his wily sister.

There is an awkward silence that stretches as Dehvasa stares at Rey, her eyes studying her face for a moment too long. Trying it seems, to gauge her mood and anticipate her moves before the game really begins. There is a keen intelligence and sharpness to her gaze, that starkly separates her from her blindly congenial brother.

Upon sensing the unease and underlying antagonism rising from their locked eyes, Poe abruptly clears his throat and breaks the deadlock.

“Shall we begin” he says solemnly, gesturing with his hand to the ornate, gold chairs that lie ready for their discussions. The Queen looks at him carefully before nodding, her face a little more guarded now.

“That would be best.”

Without much further discussion, the Queen closes the final few paces to the grand Oak table and takes her place upon the gilded chair, catching Rey’s gaze once more. Poe slips in beside Rey, giving her forearm a squeeze before shooting the visiting royals another dampened smile.

Ever the attentive host, D-3SE is quickly at their elbow.

“Does any of the party which to partake in some refreshments…..we have several wonderful herbal teas and artisan coffees from the Naboo lowlands or perhaps a sumptuous hot chocolate made from the richest Chandrilan cocoa beans would be of interest….”

Rey winces as the droid drones on, totally oblivious to the annoyance he is causing. It is times like this she is starkly reminded just how similar he can be to her dear C-3PO.

“….or if the guests require something stronger, we have recently acquired a divine summer win…”

“Thank you D-3SE, that will be all for now.” Rey interrupts firmly, her cheeks growing crimson as her embarrassment becomes more and more obvious.

The droid stutters to a stop, slightly aghast to be dismissed.

“But protocol dictates refreshments must be offered and administered to all visiting dignitaries...”

“We are fine, thank you” Dehvasa answers coolly, giving the overeager D-3 unit a perfunctory wave to usher him away. The spindly, silver machine hums low as if disgraced, nodding slightly as it silently leaves the room without another word.

The stilted silence returns with a vengeance as all parties avoid the gaze of another. The dark grain in the oak table is of sudden interest to Rey as she avoids Dehvasa's eyes, the Queen herself is too absorbed by a colourful painting on the far to even notice her awkwardness.

“So…..who talks first, you talk first, I talk first?” Poe babbles out in a nervous, almost unconscious rush of words. He quickly draws the attentions of the less than talkative antagonists with another uncomfortable shuffle in his seat, the cushioned fabric crackling off his woolen pants as the static rises beneath him.

“I will” Dehvasa answers after a long pause, her throat bobbing heavily when her eyes catch Rey’s once more.

“There’s no point delaying it any longer, I assume everyone knows why we are here?”

Rey chews on her lip before nodding with a slight grimace.

“You wish to discuss the return of some property”.

Her voice is cool and devoid of any emotion as she speaks, her eyes fixing on the Queen with wary acceptance.

“And perhaps..... _reparations_...which I admit, I am in little position to resist”.

Dehvasa face is a smooth mask of thought, her expression impossible to discern as she regards Rey quietly.

“I don’t suppose you are….” She mutters plainly, her tone giving nothing away.

Rey breathes deep, swallowing her pride as good sense wins out for once.

“For the record, I am sorry for what I did, for acting so foolishly and causing you such distress….all I can ask now….”

She pauses, her hand fluttering to her ripe, round belly.

“Is that you can consider mercy…”

The Queens eyes flick down to her full, pregnant bump, her face softening unexpectedly.

“It is true the theft could cause much uproar in society if we allow this to become public …..and there would be some in court that would call for my immediate resignation......but that is nothing I can’t handle.”

She pauses for a moment, lost in thought for a moment. Her eyes narrow as the turning of her mind deepens that pensive stare.

“Thankfully that is not issue at hand.....but there is much I would like to discuss with you…"

"…If it’s to outline the terms of my prison sentence……I must respectfully decline the offer of conversation. I do not wish to negotiate my own freedom” Rey interrupts as politely as she can muster, her distaste for the topic written across her face.

Dehvasa's dark titian brow rises in surprise in response to her outburst, looking flabbergasted by Rey’s boldness before she snorts in genuine amusement.

“No, no, no, it's nothing like that. I fact …..I am loath to admit this, but I find your gumption quite admiral young lady.”

Even Poe cannot control his shock as the Queens words lighten the mood considerably.

“It pains me to confess it, for I will vehemently deny this in any court of law......but in truth, I understand why you did it. Why you wanted retribution.”

Rey looks at the Queen with new eyes, her long held coldness toward her thawing as she recognizes a hint of regret in the Queen’s rich tone.

Licking her lips, Rey hesitates a moment before speaking candidly.

“I was mad”.

“As would I if I’d been in your shoes, to be dismissed like that so callously, it would leave anyone bitter.”

“I felt like a right fool after the Ball, to know your offer of welcome had been nothing more than a ruse to test me.”

Dehvasa sighs heavily, her expression contrite.

“The name Palpatine casts a long shadow on Naboo….we had to be sure.”

“You knew I was no threat….you knew" Rey says with a little more heat, her brow darkening as she speaks “and yet you still forced me out".

Poe clears his throat loudly, casting Rey a look of warning as two of the royal guards seem to shift closer. Their huge forms edging away from their lasts posts as they eye the Jedi Master carefully. Her face pales as she swallows down that brewing discontent. Knowing she is in no condition to take them on if a situation arises.

“In truth, I could have handled it better.” the Queens sighs unexpectedly “I was cruel towards you where I should have been kind, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

Dehvasa's expression is earnest as she looks up at Rey, her gaze direct and devoid of deception.

“Well… I am sorry too.” Rey answers a little more calmly, conscious her quick temper will be of no use here.

“….both for that act of thievery.....and for the consequent loss of fifteen bottles that can never be replaced.”

The Queen is rueful as she shares a look at her brother, a secret in-joke passing between them. Caen laughs lightly as he answers the question Rey has not even begun to ask them.

“You know, I have always be of the opinion.....there is little point in preserving a treasure like that, if no one ever gets to enjoy it…..or in this case, _drink it_!”

The Queen casts a wry glance back towards Rey and her obvious predicament, before settling her violet eyes firmly on Poe. The meeting of their gazes is long and so loaded with meaning, it would be impossible to regard it as anything close to subtle.

“Somehow young Master, I sincerely doubt it was you dear, that downed the better part of that store…..”

Poe flushes a dark crimson, his face so hot, he cannot hide the discomfort written on those ruddy cheeks.

He clears his throat and leans forward as his finger’s steeple together in front of him. The posture is oddly sacerdotal for a scoundrel like him, too measured in its calmness to denote sincerity in the gesture.

“As agreed, your Majesty, I have arranged a handsome sum to be donated to the Varykino restoration fund. You can expect the first installment in your accounts by the early morning.”

The Queen does not seem to react, her expression impassive even as she nods in agreement. They both know the sum he offers will never equal the value of what has been lost, but to demand more would attract unwanted attention and draw suspicion from those the Queen duly wishes to avoid.

A scandal like this could ruin her in ways she would never recover.

They both know the offered settlement is nothing more than saving face for both of them, an appeasement in its most basic form.

“And what of the remaining bottles?” Caen interjects with a more solemn tone.

“We will arrange a transport at your earliest convenience….”

“And security….?”

Poe looks uncomfortable for a moment; fully aware he has nothing more than his good name and tarnished word to assuage their concerns.

“We will supply you with only the finest of our officers to guard the cargo and accompany it home...”.

Caen nods at his answer, somewhat satisfied. However, the Queen does not look convinced.

She cocks her head to the side, her jaw tight as she chews on some underlying thought. An objection already forming in her throat.

It is Caen that notices it first.

“Do you not agree sister? I am sure the Third Republic has some very fine soldiers to serve us in this mission.”

Dehvasa chews on the side of her cheek, her eyes flashing as another dissatisfied grimace clouds her features. She clears her throat and half turns toward Rey.

“Master Skywalker, I was hoping, _perhaps_ , you would accompany us back to Naboo?”

Rey’s eyebrows rise sharply to her hairline, cheeks paling in surprise.

“I feel the cargo would be all the safer if you were there to oversee the assignment”.

There is a brief silence before Rey scoffs almost without thinking, the reaction entirely organic and uncontrolled. Poe is similarly dumbfounded, staring at the Queen utterly agog as he debates internally whether the Monarch has lost her mind entirely.

“You are aware I am nearly eight months pregnant! I highly doubt I will be of very much help if we run into any serious trouble!” 

“Yes, but you _are_ still a Jedi Grandmaster. That alone deters the casual opportunist.”

Caen looks at his sister strangely, bewildered by her sudden insistence.

“Dehvasa, are you sure this is wise? It was you, after all, who banished her in the first place.”

“And I was wrong” she shoots back with a look of derision “.....and I am mature enough to admit that now”.

“But the council....”

“The council can eat Bantha Poodoo for all I care! They are the ones that caused this ruddy mess in the first place”.

Rey’s shock still has not abated when their gazes meet again even as the offer begins to sink in.

It is strange, to have this feeling of vindication after all this time, for a part of her is elated to have the chance to see Naboo again.

But she is cautious none the less.

“You really want me to come back with you?” she asks with a disbelieving exhale “To see Varykino one last time?”

Dehvasa’s face softens as she nods, an unexpected earnestness present on her usually haughty face.

“Most ardently. There are so many things I would like to show you.”

Rey looks at the Queen with uncertainty, a niggling suspicion dampening that excitement she feels. The baby reacts in her stomach, moving more animatedly as her body floods with apprehension.

_What if it’s all a trap?_

None of this makes sense, it seems too good to be true. In that moment she so wishes Leia was here to guide her.

Leia would read Dehvasa like a book.

The older woman’s expression clouds, sensing Rey’s reluctance to agree, anticipation her blatant misgivings behind Naboo’s intentions.

“I swear on my _life_ and on the sacred name of Padmé Amidala, no harm will come to you or your child" the Queen urges fiercely, reaching across the narrow oak table to take Rey’s hand without warning.

“I promise you Rey....you have nothing to fear from me”.

“How can I be sure you won’t slap me in chains the moment I step off that cruiser?”

“Because this …...is _not_ about that stupid wine......it’s not about _any_ of that.”

Rey’s studies the other woman’s eyes as everyone in the room seems to hold their breath, waiting nervously for her response. Eventually the young woman’s posture relaxes, the distrust fading a little.

“Then what _is_ it about?”

There is a slight pause as Dehvasa seems to sag in relief, her smile genuine as she lets go of Rey’s hand.

“Wylim....?”

She turns in her seat to look back at one of her titan sized guard, catching his pale blue eyes as she speaks.

“Wylim, please bring me the files”.

The guard steps forward, his dense muscles rippling under the smooth porcelain of his skin as he walks closer. His face is a stony mask of practiced neutrality, more akin to a living statue than actual person.

Wylim bows before handing the Queen a small device, his immense body sliding back into position without another word. The Queen turns the device over in her hands as she hums low and softly.

“Master Skywalker, _this_ is what this is all about” she answers quietly before twisting back to face Poe and Rey with a slight frown. They both watch her carefully, more than a little intrigued by the mystery of it all.

Pressing the device, an image sparks to life in her hand. The figure of a young woman coming into view as the holo sharpens.

“Do you know who this is?” Dehvasa asks simply, her gaze flicking between the holograph and Rey’s puzzled face. The young woman’s eyes narrow as she stares at the image, a spark of recognition lighting in her gaze as she takes in the dark brown hair and delicate features of that unnamed beauty.

She knows without a doubt.

“Padmé Amidala....?”

Dehvasa smirks in reply, moving the image closer.

Rey knows without a doubt who she is, or at least _thinks_ she does.

“Padmé....unfortunately...no” the Queen continues to smirk, the look on her face playful and perhaps a little imperious.

Poe leans in closer, staring at the holograph with a deep frown.

“It’s not?”

Rey thinks the Queen has gone utterly mad; the image is clearly the former Queen in her prime. Though she is not totally au fait with every politician and dignitary that played a part in the Galaxy before the Empire, she can at least recognize this Queen of wide renown.

How could she not, especially given the close relationship she fostered with the Skywalkers?

Leia had shown her many pictures of her birth mother over the years.

But Dehvasa keeps on grinning like a fool even as Rey and Poe share a look of growing confusion, bewildered how any of this is relevant to their last conversation.

“I’m....I’m not sure I understand” Rey stutters after another long moment of mystification.

Dehvasa huffs in amusement as she draws the holo device closer to herself.

“This my dear....is Sabé. Your grandmother”.

“ _What_?”

Poe’s mouth hangs open as Rey blinks rapidly back at the smirking sovereign in shock.

“ _I’m sorry, could you repeat that_?”

Dehvasa slides the holoprojector over the table toward Rey as she chuckles lightly.

“This is Sabé, Queen Amidala’s most trusted and loyal handmaidens. Sabé was her famed decoy.”

Rey is still staring at her with wide, uncertain eyes as her face pales to an almost white. Her freckles are an even more stark contrast of color than usual on her milky skin.

“No...No..could you repeat the other part.....”

The Queen smiles warmly, a genuine joy found in what she is about to impart.

“Rey.....this is Sabé.....your maternal grandmother.”

“ _Karking hell_....” Poe mumbles to himself, sitting back in his chair in a state of almost delirium. Dumbfounded now he has not made this connection before.

Rey looks between the Holo and Dehvasa’s glowing and honest face, digesting this new revelation in utter disbelief.

“ _Grandmother_...” she whispers softly to herself, pulling the holo closer.

Rey looks at the image closer, studying the faded visage of this pretty young woman as it flickers gently in her hand. Sabé is barely older than she is now, her hair a silky dark brown as it frames a pair of lovely brown eyes that speak of honour and courage.

Rey has heard of this handmaiden’s exploits before, but she has never seen her face.

And boy does she wish she had seen her face before!

She gazes at her young face for a long time, cataloguing every feature and plane of that long dead woman as her mind examines every flaw and doubt she can muster about this new and startling announcement.

But in the end, all her mind can see, _can register_ , are the high cheek bones and fine nose of her own face reflecting back at her in the form of another.

She cannot deny it, the truth that is her family.

And in some strange way it makes her happy. To finally find a piece of her past she recognises as her own, untarnished by the darkness of that mighty Palpatine blood.

A piece that speaks of goodness, sacrifice and a willful spirit that fought for what was right. The very tenets of Rey’s own dogged character.

“Now you see......” Dehvasa says quietly, all traces of that prevalent arrogance gone from her voice “Now you know why”

“How did you....?” Rey begins shakily, her question catching her throat as an unexpected emotion rises in her. Reaching for her face, she finds there are tears streaming down her cheeks as she takes in a long, but steadying breath.

“How long have you known?”.

Poe’s hand gently catches her fingers, drawing her palm closer as he squeezes hard in reassurance.

“A few weeks” Dehvasa answers plainly, relieved to see her admission causes no immediate ire.

“How? How do you know for sure?” Poe asks with a look of clear wonder, unable to take his eyes off the image of Sabé. Rey is too overcome to speak, her lips trembling as she stares blankly at the royals in front of her.

Caen shifts in his seat, soft violet eyes flitting between his sister and the senator with slight awkwardness. He clears his throat and tries to answer them as best he can.

“After the Summer Ball, some pictures of Master Skywalker began to circulate the court. It was all very innocent, borne of a simple curiosity to see the pretty, young face of the Jedi’s new Grand Master. While most complimented you on that beautiful dress you wore and the vibrant manner you displayed, there were those that began to remark upon your uncanny resemblance to our once great Queen, Padmé Amidala.”

Dehvasa nods at Caen as he slowly pauses, encouraging him to continue.

“When it began.....initially we brushed the whole thing off as simple gossip, just some old fools who wanted nothing more than to reminisce and speculate on trivial conspiracies. But then, the questions and speculations became louder and louder.......until we could ignore it no longer.”

Rey chews on her lip as she listens, her eyes a little glazed but teeming with unexpressed happiness.

“And what did you do?” she asks meekly, barely holding her emotions in check.

“We began to study our family archives and traced Sabé’s family line to a daughter named Kira. A daughter that was lost over twenty-six years ago....she was shunned by the family after she eloped off-world with a young man of ignoble origin.”

“Wait....family archive? You’re saying Sabé was ....” Poe interjects, his eyes wide and bulging.

“She was my father’s elder cousin.....” Dehvasa answers with a slight smile, turning to Rey with a warmth to her gaze.

“Which makes us kin, somewhat distantly of course”

“Wait, wait, wait.....hold on, that doesn’t prove anything about Rey.....Kira could be anywhere or anyone by now?” Poe argues somewhat hotly, suspicious this is just another cruel game to destabilize his dear friend.

He knows what something like this could mean to Rey, for her to know unequivocally where she came from. It would be crushing to her if this is all but a game to them and so, it’s all too much for Poe to hope they are being entirely truthful.

“I understand your caution Senator Dameron, however on this occasion, we are entirely certain.”

“How?” Rey croaks weakly, looking at the Queen in slight desperation.

“We tested your DNA dear.....or what little we could still find in Varykino after all those months”.

Poe looks aghast, his temper rising once more on behalf of his friend.

“YOU DID WHAT? YOU TESTED HER DNA!”.

He huffs loudly, his face growing violently red as he leans forward with gritted teeth, his body straining out of his seat.

“How dare yo...”

Rey’s hand is suddenly on his arm, urging him to calm.

“I don’t care” she says quietly, locking him with her lovely hazel eyes.

“Truly....I don’t. It doesn’t matter.”

Poe’s jaw twitches as his aggravation is swallowed back within him, that feeling of outrage still burning at the edge of his consciousness. Rey gives him a feeble, but affectionate smile as she coaxes him back into his chair. Telling him not to worry with her eyes as her gaze moves to Dehvasa and Caen once more.

“So....we are kin, it seems” Rey mutters airily, still in total disbelief “I assume this is the reason for your _total_ change of heart.”

“In part....” the Queen admits with surprising frankness “but there were others too ”.

Her expression is guarded as she tries to read Rey’s churning emotions

“....does that invalidate what I am offering? Does it sour your chance of returning to Naboo?”

Rey stares back at her vacantly as the wheels seem to turn in her mind, running over her options as she weighs it up carefully. There is only one way she will ever consider it.

“Will you allow me to stay at Varykino until the baby is born?”

Both Poe and Caen do a double take at her suggestion, while Dehvasa simply smirks.

“You may _visit_ Varykino as much as you like, but you will stay at the royal palace at Theed.”

Rey bites at her lip as her eyes narrow, reflecting upon the counteroffer.

She shares a smirk with her newly found cousin, nodding in agreement.

“We have ourselves a deal your Majesty.”

Dehvasa’s smirk grows into a full smile while Poe looks at her like she’s crazy.

“Excellent! When is the earliest you can depart?”

“Probably tomorrow, I will need some time to debrief Jannah this evening.”

“You may have it and my aide will contact you at first light with the time and location of our departure.”

“And the wine?” Poe asks coldly, still a little pissed off he had been lured here under false pretenses.

Dehvasa shrugs as she begins to rise to her feet, gesturing to her entourage her intention to leave.

“Just have it by the docks an hour before, _with_ an armed guard if possible!”

“Sure” he mutters unhappily, pushing himself up to a standing position before he bows low and hard.

“Until tomorrow your Majesty”.

The Queen nods at him with an almost victorious look on her face, walking toward the grand double doors with another supercilious smirk. She pauses just upon the threshold, casting a long look back at Rey with a gentler inflection to her voice.

“You may keep that by the way” she says, gesturing to the small glowing device that emits the face of Rey’s long-lost grandmother.

“On it you’ll find everything you need to know”.

Rey’s lips twitch in the briefest of smiles, nodding back the Queen as she pulls the small holo into her hand.

“Until tomorrow ma’am”.

“Tomorrow” she nods with a smirk, her eyes lit with self-satisfaction. Dehavasa turns to leave once before pausing for a second time at the edge of the room, her expression hardening for a split second.

“It will truly be an honour to have your baby born at Theed Palace Master Skywalker, for any kin of Padmé Amidala will always welcome to there....especially those of blood.”

The Queen’s gaze flicks down to her abdomen for the briefest of moments before settling on Rey’s stricken face.

The young Jedi Master almost chokes on her breath as Dehvasa fixes her with an intense look of interest, seeing in that moment without a single doubt, the ever-cunning Queen knows _everything_.

Ben.

The secret of her child’s full parentage.

Everything.

How Dehvasa knows, Rey is not entirely sure, but she suspects the classified surveillance from Varykino Poe had buried with bribes, has not stayed as buried as either of them would like.

“Thank you” Rey manages to force out with a watery smile, somehow sensing, there is no threat to be found from Dehvasa. Her cards have been firmly lain out on the table and yet, she demands only Rey’s time in return.

The Queen had promised her no harm would come to them and somehow, Rey is inclined to believe her.

Dehvasa huffs softly as she nods, recognizing her message has been received.

“Until tomorrow Master Skywalker”.

With that, the Queen steps across the threshold and disappears down the darkened corridors of Rey’s residence.

The rest of the royal party quickly leaves in her wake, Caen the last to exit as he bids them farewell in his usual gregarious fashion. He pumps Poe’s hand hard and fast before pressing another dry kiss to Rey’s knuckles.

And just like that, the friends’s are finally alone.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Poe mumbles so low only Rey can hear it as he comes to stand by her side.

“No, not really” she admits solemnly, her fingers playing upon the cool wood of the table “but what choice do I have?”

His arm is soon around her shoulders, kissing the crown of her head like a worried older brother.

“I will be just a call away if you need me”.

“I know”.

There is a momentary lull as silence falls between them, the friends losing themselves to their own thoughts.

“Hey Poe...” Rey says after a long break, her face arching up to give him an impish grin.

“Yes Rey”.

“Fancy a bottle of Summer wine?”

Poe snorts with laughter as he covers his face with his hand.

“Don’t even start......”.

* * *

After the encroaching chill of the Chandrilan Winter, the dry, heady warmth of Theed is an instant relief to Rey’s aching, exhausted bones. The tropical heat a delicious pleasure as they exit the Royal Cruiser late the next day.

The air is like a soothing blanket around her as she walks aimlessly to the edge of the hanger, the light breeze slightly spiced by the late evening markets far below. The dusk is fast approaching now, the broad Theed sky growing a vibrant pink and magenta against the shadow of the listless clouds. Rey watches it for a moment, basking in the gentle heat of evening.

Somewhere in the distance an attendant calls her name, ineffectually coaxing her back toward the retreating party of Royals as they leave for the main residence.

To their left, the last of the Summer wine is being loaded onto a small freighter. Its sleek, silvery form set to depart for Varykino imminently for the value of its modest cargo is so vast and irreplaceable, there will be little to no delay in its transport beyond what is necessary.

Though she wishes she could return to that beautiful villa tonight, Rey knows she will need to pay her dues before Dehvasa gives her blessing to tour the grounds once more.

Furthermore, there is much she needs to do before she can even _think_ of leaving the capital, for there is much she wishes to uncover about her own heritage while she holds Dehvasa’s limited attention.

Dehvasa has promised her total transparency and access to anything she needs from the ancestral archives, the tale of her grandmother Sabé only just beginning.

There is of course, the urgent preparations to be made regarding the impending birth of her child! Her due date is fast approaching as the weeks dwindle to nothing, revisions will need to be made to her birth plan now she no longer plans to return to Chandrila.

Chewbacca has promised to be planet side within a week and Dr Kalonia is set to take up residence at the Palace the week after. Until then, she is very much on her own.

Rey sighs heavily as the anxious attendant calls her name once more, the young, eager woman keen to have her inside as soon as possible. Heavy punishment will surely follow if she does not cajole her guest to fall in line with procedure.

“Master Skywalker.....I really must insist. The Queen doesn’t like to wait”.

Rey nods stiffly at the girl and shuffles forward as quickly as she can muster, trying not to scowl when she see’s the young attendant sag in relief and smirk almost arrogantly at her own silly victory.

Thankfully the Queen does not require her presence for long, a light tea supplied before all members of the party retire for the night. The long day and weariness of travel making them irritable and disinclined to chat long.

After the meal, Rey is soon led to a large, ornate bedroom for the night. The room filled with the softest and most sumptuous of furnishings she has ever seen, the immense bed alone makes her huge four poster bed in Hana City look positively drab.

She tries to hold back her obvious horror when she gasps in surprise at the monstrosity, she finds in the middle of the guest fresher. Recoiling visibly from the large, clawfoot bath made of solid gold that sits in front of the equally ornate shower.

The bath is unavoidably gaudy, its shiny surface adorned with hundreds of tiny, delicate carvings of Blackfish, Peko-Peko and grotesque Nabooean whale.

It’s all too much.

“Are you alright ma’am.....you look a little peaky?” the attendant Rey now knows as Asha says with a concerned from.

“Yes....yes sorry.....” Rey splutters with a slight blush “I’m just tired”.

Asha cocks her head to one side as she watches her from the doorway.

“Would you like me to draw you a bath? It may help with your sleep?”.

Rey shakes her head vigorously as her face turns to a grimace at the thought of this offer, the bath is frankly too garish for her to bear.

“No....no thank you. I am more than happy to use the sonic shower tonight!”

Asha’s lips twitch in a slight smirk.

“We don’t have sonic showers here ma’am....the Queen hates them, but I do hope a water shower is okay?”

Rey blushes heavily.

Of course they don’t have sonic showers in the royal palace of Naboo, it would be unseemly for a planet so flush with water to refrain from using it.

“Right....that will be fine” she mumbles awkwardly.

“May I help you with anything further tonight?” Asha asks politely.

“No...that will be all. Thank you, you may go.” Rey answers stiffly.

Asha nods slowly before gliding out of the room with little delay. A door closing in the near distance.

Wandering into the now empty, quiet room Rey exhales loudly in release and relief. Happy to be truly alone for the first time all day.

She lets her eyes wander once more around the magnificent bedroom she has been given for the night. Spying only now the two double doors that lead outside to a narrow balcony that overlooks the city. Stepping outside and onto the small veranda, Rey smiles as she takes in the view it provides. Gazing out at the bustling, beautiful city to the West and the spectacular cliffs of Theed to the East.

She wonders absentmindedly, how many times her grandmother had stood like this in wonder of this place and registered the beauty that surrounded her every day.

Had Sabé known this privilege and luxury Rey had been gifted or had she only dreamed of such grandeur?

Perhaps she had been more content to serve her Queen and fulfil her duty to the crown with little need for finery.

It seems so strange now, to think of that young, brave woman she so eerily resembles. As though history is bound to repeat itself.

It gives Rey this odd sort of comfort to know now how her destiny and unbreakable bond with the Skywalkers, had been formed long before she was even born.

To realise now the red string of fated connection that wound itself through the trials of history, continuing like an endless spool of thread that intertwined Rey to Ben and tethered their families together in blood forever. Culminating now with the arrival of that beautiful child growing inside of her.

Just as Padme had been destined for Anakin, it seems her love for Ben Solo had been written in the star since the moment they met.

Their shared destiny had all begun with the meeting of two young girls, tied together by a sense of duty and love for their people. A tenuous connection which cultivated in to a deep and enduring friendship surviving even death itself.

Padme and Sabé, girls so close they could have been sisters.

It will take Rey a long time to fully come to terms with it all.

Rey stands on the marble balcony, taking it all in, until the chill of the night begins to settle down deep upon her skin. Robbing her of what little comfort she preserves as her arms pale and erupt in goosebumps.

It is time for bed it seems.

Ambling her way back inside Rey resolves to bathe in the morning, her body too drained to even contemplate washing. Stripping off to her underthings, Rey pulls on some loose- fitting sleep pants and a night shirt before crawling as gingerly as she can across the marshmallowy mattress.

Burying her body under the silken cotton sheets, the blanket is a reassuring weight upon her body as she wraps herself in its comfort.

But she does not sleep, even as the chromometer by her bed ticks closer to midnight, for her mind is too busy and her body aches too much, to allow her easy rest.

There are unending thoughts that race through her head as the quiet of the night offers no distraction or respite.

It’s all too odd to be back in Naboo again.

Though the journey had been one of relative ease, it had borne upon her this strange sense of anguish the closer she’d gotten to the planet of her ancestors. Giving her this bittersweet agony that refused to be solved even as she relished the chance it presented.

For on one hand, coming to Naboo had felt like a new beginning, like coming home in the most satisfying of ways, and yet it stung like a wound, souring her tentative joy with the absence of that steady beat of Ben she once knew here.

For it was in its beautiful meadows she had found him again; it was in its rolling hills she had touched him and it was under its stars she had fallen deeper and deeper in love with him.

Naboo now feels strange and empty without the pulse and gently presence of him by her side.

All traces of Ben were nothing more than memory as she’d watched the familiar lakes and hills of Varykino rush by below them as they flew closer to Theed, her dark eyed lover a forlorn spectre that haunted her, even as marveled at the beauty of this land.

She knew now, too much has happened here to ignore what can never be forgotten.

It is a heavy burden to bear alone, but she will soldier on as she always has.

For there are other things now that give her strength, that buoy her spirit in these trying times.

There is an inextinguishable flame of hope that has lit within her in the wake of Dehvasa’s revelations. A true sense of belonging and history that only strengthens and enriches her once lonely existence.

For she truly knows now who she is and rejoices in the blood that truly shaped her.

The courage and faultless loyalty of Sabé has cast a brilliant and wonderful light to illuminate the once dark corners of her past.

Rey will never forget the awful mantle her odious grandfather had tried to thrust upon her, but with this new knowledge of her heritage, it has been joyfully cast aside forever.

The goodness of her grandmother fulfils her in ways, she never knew she needed.

Rey’s baby will grow up knowing where it came from, it will know of the deep roots it holds in Naboo and the fearless sacrifice its grandparents made to ensure the next generation would be born in a Galaxy free from villainy and pain.

It would know of Leia and Han.

It would know of Kira.

And it would know of Rey’s father, nameless as he remains in perpetuity, but very much treasured and _remembered_ in Rey’s heart.

Her baby would know it all.

That singular, simple thought quells her mind and finally, with the peace it provides, Rey finds rest.

Sleeping more soundly than she has in months.

* * *

The day is cloudless and pleasantly warm when Dehvasa, _at last_ , grants Rey permission to leave the City walls of Theed. It has been over a week since her arrival and the tireless sovereign has run out of excuses to force Rey to stay put another day. She is too busy with council meetings to distract her distant cousin, or even dedicate the time to keep a close eye on her.

It does not help her plans to keep the Jedi master in closer range one bit that her brother Caen is also preoccupied with urgent matters in the Highlands for the next two days.

And while it would be preferable course of action for Dehvasa to urge her to wait for a proper escort, especially when she considers Rey’s prior proclivity for light fingered thievery, she concedes, given her the advanced stage of her pregnancy, it is very unlikely Rey will bolt off-world with any more of their precious treasures.

Furthermore, Rey Skywalker is not actually a prisoner of the court, but a _guest_ of the Crown and Dehvasa, for all her faults, is always an attentive and considerate host.

A promise is a promise after all.

Rey is practically giddy with excitement when Asha informs her plainly over breakfast, that a D-11 water speeder has been chartered to take them to Varykino. The sleek royal vessel theirs to use at their leisure, all at the behest of the Queen.

Asha cannot help but smile at the young mother to be, the at times dour faced attendant, unable to resist Rey’s sparkling good humour and bright beaming grin.

Her enthusiasm is frankly too infectious.

It is just gone past midday when they eventually make landfall at the Southern tip of the island, the opulent water speeder pulling up alongside the familiar dock with relative ease.

There is a rush a familiarity as Rey’s eyes fall upon the ageless beauty of the villa as it rises from the navy waters of that lake. Her gaze growing impossibly wide to match her delighted smile as they drop anchor and the crew quickly beginning their preparations for disembarkation.

Rey moves with an unexpected speed as soon as the simple walkway is lowered to the landing site, her legs carrying her away with surprising ease to the first set of steps that wind up towards the villa.

Asha abruptly barks her name in shock as her feet start to fly up the rocky stairs on pure instinct.

"My lady, do you not think it safer to take the elevator to the house?"

Rey frowns at the young woman as though she has gone mad, her body standing stock still where she has paused mid stride.

"Surely it will save us some valuable time too?"

Rey's puzzled stare narrows as Asha gazes up at her expectantly, her pretty face not even showing a flicker of uncertainty.

"There is no elevator...." Rey eventually answers with a dramatic arch of her eyebrow.

“Are you sure you’re not confusing it with somewhere else?”

“Yes ma’am, I’m certain " Asha answers slowly as she lifts up her small data pad, its screen lit by a short list of instructions from her superiors."....the Nabierre family had one built in the boat house about a half century ago".

Rey's eyes flick over to the small formation of rock that sits to the right of their luxury yacht, the unassuming boathouse that is cut into the land no bigger than Luke's hut on Ahch-To. Surely Asha is mistaken?

That rugged structure is barely large enough to hold a Gondala Speeder, let alone an elevator fit for nobility.

“Master Skywalker?” Asha tries again.

Rey studies her a moment before stepping down the stairway without a word, resolved to humoring her at the very least. The young woman’s ips flicker up in the briefest of smiles as she nods back at the Jedi Master with something akin to gratitude.

Turning on her heel without another word, she leads them both to the sealed doors of the boathouse. There is a slight hiss as the shiny metal slides apart, revealing a surprisingly cavernous interior that extends deep into the underlying bedrock.

As anticipated, there are a few Gondala Speeders stored within the cool, dry cave. Six in fact when Rey takes the time to count them all as the move further inside.

She feels a little sheepish as they soon come upon the unmistakable exterior of an elevator shaft, the heavy blast proof doors a shiny blue embarrassment after her earlier pronouncements.

“Well.....I guess I still have a lot to learn about this place huh?” she mumbles awkwardly to herself as Asha silently enters a code on the access panel. The doors spring open, letting out a waft of stale, warm air into the relative coolness of the boathouse. It is clear this entrance has not been used in some time, the slight smell of dust and dankness filling their nostrils.

Rey steps inside without another word, truly puzzled by the fact she had never found this elevator before. She had lived here for over three weeks, traversed every inch of this building several times over and never realised it existed!

“Is it strange to be back?” Asha asks her suddenly, breaking the brewing, stilted silence that threatened to fall. There is genuine warmth in her voice for once and a gentle curiosity to be found on her face as she looks at Rey. Whatever mistrust Asha had felt toward Rey seems to be starting to thaw.

Rey nods, matching her smile with a weak one of her own.

“More than you know”.

It is not long before the elevator brings them to small antechamber just behind the main library, the hidden room obscured by a secret door in the farthest marble wall. Rey postulates there is a secret catch hidden amongst the shelves, this inner secret carefully laden with antique books to hide it from the casual observer.

Not that she much time to ponder too deeply on it, there is too much still to see.

They quickly move on without a word.

The Villa is much the way Rey left it, breathtaking beautiful as always, yet shackled with that same lingering sense of loneliness and loss that seems to live like an organic being in the very stone of the house. Bleeding like an open wound within the Force.

This beautiful place had witnessed some terrible things alongside the joy and goodness of life.

As Rey trails the familiar hallways, Asha only a few steps behind, she finds peace amid the sadness. Feeling only the pure contentment she had once known here.

The ghost of Padme is nothing more than an echo in these halls, her lost spirit perhaps finally at rest as she feels the steady pulse of her great grandchild safe and loved in its mother’s womb. The mistakes of the past finally set right.

As Rey and Asha step into the empty vastness of the ballroom, the attendant once more feels the need to break the quiet, for neither of them has said anything in almost thirty minutes!

It is getting awkward at this stage.

“You know….I was once told.... it was in this very room Padme met Sabé for the first time. They were both just girls and barely passed their first moonblood....but Amidala had already been chosen to ascend to the throne.”

Asha pauses as they walk further into the room, her hand reaching reflexively for the heavy canvas sheet that lies across a long-forgotten grand piano, the instrument abandoned to a far corner of the room. Her fingers hesitate at the edge of the sheet, her hand slowly retracting as she clears her throat.

“It was agreed thatfateful night, then and there, your grandmother would be Amidala’s primary decoy...... Sabé swore from that day on, she would forsake even her own life in order to protect the Crown and the people of Naboo”.

Rey allows herself a small smile as she her eyes rove the huge, grand room, the marble floor so pristine and blindingly white, no one would ever believe the room had not been used in over fifty years.

“She was a brave girl......” Rey replies warmly, a quiet look of pride of her face “.....both of them were”.

Asha’s gaze is steady when Rey meets her eyes once more, an amiable mood growing between them.

She smiles at her, the gentle brown of her eyes warm as they exchange an unspoken agreement. Knowing there is little to bind them together but a mutual respect for the young women that shaped this small, fertile planet.

“Shall we go to the Grand balcony Ma’am?” she suggests after a beat.

Rey nods enthusiastically before following her out of the room, already knowing the way like the back of her hand as they wind their way quietly through the muted, peace of the villa.

The view is even more lush than Rey remembers as they exit out onto the terrace a few minutes later, the glistening waters of the lake the purest of blues under the lazy afternoon haze. Spring has come again to Varykino, the grounds around the villa awash with colour as Rey looks out at ever changing landscape. There are crowds of fragrant flowers that have sprouted up along the shoreline, blooms of white, yellow and the darkest pink, that wind their way up the hillside and deep into the verdant woodlands.

The groves of Cypress trees are getting thick and heavy too in the new and bountiful growth season. Rey notes with a coy smile, even the once scorched remnants of those tree’s she’d cut down in the Summer, have recovered well. The seemingly ravaged saplings, rising from the ashes in sturdy green shoots of new life.

Rey can already hear Luke in her mind, scolding her once more for making such a mess of his mother’s garden.

She smiles deeper at the memory, a low sigh of amusement falling from her lips.

“I presume you did that” Asha smiles knowingly as she points down to the break in the otherwise straight line of Cypresses. Rey smirks in embarrassment as she nods, reminiscing about the incident with a small flush of warmth in her gut.

“I was training and.....I got a little carried away” she laughs sheepishly as she shrugs.

“You can say that again, Odhran Gridalfor, the Chair of the preservation fund, was not best pleased when he saw that” Asha laughs heartily as she leans against the smooth stone of the balcony.

“But then again, when is Odhran Gridalfor ever pleased!”

“Well.....hopefully he and I will never meet!”

The young attendant laughs louder, opening her mouth to say something else in jest when her small holo begins to beep insistently in her cloak. Staring at it, her dark brow creases in annoyance.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I need to take this.....my mother is not someone that takes kind to being ignored”.

“Go...I will be fine here by myself for a few minutes” Rey assures her with a gentle smile. Asha nods in reply, her frown deepening as she slowly peels away and moves to another room.

As if on cue, the baby begins to kick as soon as the young girl is out of sight.

“Oh hello my little Peanut” Rey says happily, running her hand over the stretched round of her stomach.

“Is someone finally awake?”

The baby kicks harder, shifting as much as it can in the increasingly cramped conditions of Rey’s abdomen. She winces as the baby momentarily presses on her bladder, the pressure uncomfortable and borerline painful.

“Careful little one, I would rather not pee myself right now!”

The baby squirms again, this time its ungainly twisting thankfully avoids her sensitive bladder. Its kicks slow as it moves into a more comfortable position, its small body feeling particularly heavy now as Rey feels it settle down.

“If you grow anymore little one, I don’t think you’ll fit in there anymore. You’ll practically fall out!” Rey laughs to herself, her chuckle twisting into a grunt of discomfort as the baby pressed hard upon her cervix. Rey breaths heavily through the twinge of pain as she slowly shuffles her way over to the lone love seat on the terrace. The chair no doubt left out here on her the last sojourn to Naboo.

As she settles in against the worn, plush fabric of the chair, Rey is flooded by the bittersweet memory of a night spent telling long forgotten stories under the starry veil of a summer’s night. The memory so strong and vibrant she can almost feel Ben’s arms around her body, his firm, broad chest against her back.

It tears at her heart and she is struck once more, how wrong it is to not have him here with her now.

Yet her tears do not fall, for she cannot weep and wail anymore.

But she can remember, and she can forever hold those precious moments close to her heart.

Rey can share his story.

The baby kicks again and draws Rey out of her clouded, maudlin thoughts.

She smiles and presses herself deeper into the love seat, shifting until her back is comfortably settled in against the cushioned back. Her searching gaze looks out onto the placid lake, fixing on some far,distant spot on the horizon.

“Peanut” she begins softly, her hands resting on the peak of her abdomen “....did I ever tell you my favourite bedtime story? I don’t think I did”.

The sun is a golden orb of warmth as Rey turns her face up to watch its blazing journey across the sky in the cool safety of the late afternoon’s shadow. Her eyes trailing its course as her mind wanders.

“It begins very simply , for all the great stories always do my love....it is a tale of a lonely, angry King and a brave, peasant girl that steals his heart. But as a wise man once told me....love is only just the beginning.”

Rey smiles sadly to herself as she pauses and takes a deep breath, swallowing down that burn of unexpected emotion in her throat.

“Like all the great lovers......Tyranus and Delilah....were fated in the stars.”

…..........

It is almost sunset when Rey and Asha board the D-11 a few hours later and start the journey back to Theed. The sun is dipping low behind the valley as the sky begins to change and darken as the Speeder drifts steadily away from the island.

Rey sighs heavily as she stares up at the lovely estate with obvious affection, sad to be leaving again so soon.

“Did you enjoy your trip Master Skywalker?” Asha asks politely as she comes to stand by Rey who sit at one of the large rear windows of the ship.

“Yes....yes I did” Rey replies with a sad smile “I enjoyed it greatly”.

“Good” Asha smiles back, grateful her careful mission has been a success. Even more pleased her guest seems to have found what she was looking for.

“And Asha?” Rey adds with a soft sigh as she tears her eyes away from the diminishing shape of the darkening villa.

“Please can me Rey....just Rey”.

* * *

_In the dark of the night, Ben's long, broad back is a stark white bulk against the vibrant cyan of her sheets. His rib cage rises up and down in a slow, mesmerizing rhythm as he dozes lazily beside her, that handsome face of his pressed so deeply into the soft foam of their pillows, the bedding hides his features._

_Rey lies there watching him with unashamed admiration, sighing contentedly as she runs her fingers lightly down that swathe of exposed skin as he shivers in response. She traces the powerful line of muscle that runs down his spine, until she dips below the blankets and meets the gentle rise of his ass._

_Her hand ghosts over the firm, peachy flesh as she hums appreciatively. Her ministrations soon knock the cotton sheet away to reveal the toned softness of his cheeks as she starts to clutch at him more and more deliberately._

_Massaging the muscle tenderly, her thumb slips back and forth through the cleft between his cheeks for a moment. Ben shivers at the contact, not quite waking. A low moan rumbling from his drowsy lips._

_Rey chuckles to herself and presses a soft, dry kiss to small of his back. Pulling back to admire all the part of him she can see._

_For God's, does this man have a fine backside._

_Rey squeezes harder now, enjoying the feel of it in her palm._

_Ben groans and stirs beside her as he finally wakes, rising his face just high enough from his pillow, to look at her with sleepy curiosity. His grin is just the right side of cocky as he feels her caress his cheeks again._

_"I'd be careful sweetheart, bold moves like that could get a good girl in trouble" he drawls with a low, seductive tone. His voice scratchy and hoarse from sleep._

_Rey smirks back at him demurely._

_"What sort of trouble?" She purrs, dragging her hand back up his body to draw small, delicate circles at the small of his back and down the dip of his sensitive flank._

_Ben twists onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow as he comes to face her fully. His jaw twitches as his eyes light with interest. Unable to ignore the feel of her fingers trailing over his hip, her thumb tracing dangerously low along his Adonis belt. The delicate line she draws on his skin makes him shiver as his eyes grow darker and darker with growing hunger._

_Maker above this girl is a demon sometimes, a taunting devil with an angel’s face._

_"Trouble…. like the kind that could give a man ideas, indecent ideas" Ben replies in a heated rumble, leaning closer._

_Rey’s hazel eyes dance with mischief and something, infinitely lustier as her smile broadens attractively._

_"Maybe ideas are exactly what I’m after.”_

_Ben gulps as her fingers trail tentatively closer to his awakening cock, his manhood already starting to rise to half-mast. He bites his lip hard to save from groaning as her palm brushes just short of his groin to press softly up his abdomen._

_“Really.....I thought you’d had your fill of ideas last night.” he answers with a smirk as he runs his thumb over her plush bottom lip. Rey gently bites on the pad of the digit with an enticing smile, her feverish excitement rising as Ben gasps hotly at the provocation. Even after the hours endless hours they have spent breathlessly entangled in her bed, riding the high they find in each other and fucking like animals in heat, Rey is never too satisfied to more opportunity for pleasure._

_“Now whatever gave you that impression” she answers huskily, inching closer to him as Ben’s pupils blow and fix on her full, pink mouth._

_She thanks the Maker for his supreme refractory period as she feels Ben harden and twitch against her thigh, the hot, rigid heat of him making her core throb and pound in anticipation._

_Ben chuckles softly in disbelief before something devilish and altogether darker fills those whiskey eyes of his._

_The wide expanse of his hand slides over her neck, thumb gliding down the column of her throat as he presses down slightly. Rey bites on her lip as he holds his grip there a moment, that dark stare boring into her eyes._

_It’s intoxicating._

_Ben’s hand moves lower and pushes against her chest as he ushers her back against the bed, his body quickly following as he looms over her like a victorious lion. A predator submitting its prey._

_He never breaks that intense stare between them even as he peels his oversized sweatshirt from her beguiling body, his big, warm hands moving over her skin with slow, measured touches. Her nipples harden against his skin as he gently rolls the tips with his thumb, her chest jumping as the tension grows._

_Ben groans audibly when she curls her legs around his hips and draws her wet core flush to his aching cock._

_“You’re going to be the death of me....you know that.” he murmurs painfully against her neck as he rests his forehead by her cheek, his hips rocking forward slowly as he moves teasingly through her lips._

_Rey moans lewdly, already feeling the burgeoning sparks of arousal being coaxed from her core._

_“The feelings mutual” she manages to whisper back, her fingers winding in Ben’s dark hair to drag him up to her mouth. Their meeting lips are hot and needy as tongues their slip together in careful rhythm, giving and taking in that beautiful balance._

_Rey barely whimpers when Ben suddenly slips inside, her core still stretched to fit him after the ravages of the earlier hours. She smiles against his mouth as her toes curl in bliss, already so riled up foreplay would have been a waste of this precious last night together._

_She wants to feel every inch of him, to remember how it is to be connected completely, just one last time._

_Ben’s pace is careful but deep as he moves within her, arching his hips back in a steady, slow motion. Rey meets every stroke with an arching push of her own, working in time with him until they both pant and whine with need._

_“I love you, you know that” he whispers breathlessly as her parts from her mouth to look into her eyes with such reverence, it makes Rey's heart squeeze and thunder._

_“I love you too” she answers earnestly, her face twisting slightly at the sudden seriousness of this declaration._

_Her climax is quickly approaching now, a pounding rise of ecstacy flooding from her core and up into her abdomen. Her muscles start to contract as her body readies itself for the relief and thrill of release._

_She can feel now, only a few more thrusts of Ben’s hips will carry her over._

_“Gods do I love you” she whimpers as everything starts to build and build and....._

* * *

  
Rey jolts awake in a confused state of arousal, her body sticky with overheated excitement. Her neglected core lie poised at the edge of her dream fueled orgasm, as the remnants of her fantasy cruelly fades.

But her unfulfilled libido does not.

Rey groans sleepily as she presses her thighs tightly together and rolls her hip in the imitation of what her mind had supplied, hoping to push her release the final few seconds it needs.

But it is of no use, the momentum is lost and she is left with is frustration.

“Kark it all to hell" she growls unhappily.

Rey hates the wetness she has been left with between her thighs, this taunting reminder of the pleasures she once knew. The pleasures she still craves with grating want!

Rey growls again with unfulfilled annoyance, that same unyielding ache within her, throbbing insistently now as it has been for many months. Manual satisfaction has become more and more difficult as her pregnancy has progressed. For her belly is far beyond the limits of her flexibility and capacity to circumvent. Not for proper relief anyway, the full round of her bump is a ripe eight and a half months at this point.

But, she is now so desperate for respite; she cannot help but try!

Rolling onto her back, Rey pulls her knees up towards her body as her hand slips under the loose material of her sleep pants. Knowing it will not take much to finish what she needs.

Reaching further, she struggles around the mass of her abdomen, searching in some frantic effort to quell the pulsing craving that will not be ignored. But as her fingers somehow manage to trace down the damp, neglected warmth of her lips, she finds something unexpected between her thigh.

_Something amiss she cannot pass off as nothing._

Their is wetness that surrounds her core like a flood, the soft curls of her mound absolutely soaked by it as if doused in water. Rey’s concern and curiosity rise in equal measure, her probing fingers catch upon another surprising find as she aimlessly searching for answers.

This new fluid is much thicker and tacky like gelatin upon the pads of her fingers, a viscosity to it she unconsciously recognizes.

There is a long mass of dark and blood-streaked mucus on her skin, as she brings her hand toward her face.

Bolting up with a sharp gasp, Rey whips the blankets from her body to find the bed sheets saturated beneath her. The once green material, a sodden dark ring of cotton that frames her like a sunburst.

Rey’s heart drops into her gut as the wheels of her mind quickly turn. She can’t deny it or read it any other way.

_Her waters have broken._

_Her waters have broken, and she’s going into labour._

It is then, just as those lingering promises of pleasure dissipate into dread, that a new and crackling rush of pain spasms up her body.

“ _Kark_ ” Rey whimpers in growing terror and discomfort as she clutches at her stomach “that is so much worse than I expected”.

The contraction is thankfully short, giving Rey a moment to breath before it is abruptly followed by another powerful cramp that immobilizes her.

There is a longer moment of release that brings with it a sob of shock and terror, before another rolling cramp twists the muscles of her insides.

In a moment of blinding clarity, Rey thinks back to all those prenatal holofilms Dr Kalonia had made her watch a few weeks ago, knowing somehow, that things are progressing much faster than they should be.

Of this stark truth Rey is growing even more certain, feeling completely dumbfounded as even greater amounts of warm, sticky fluid rushes out of her.

Scrambling for her bedside lamp, Rey is unable to move herself from the bed as that endless spasming gets worse.

She quickly finds herself screaming out in panic.

“Help.... _Gods_ Asha, please help me …..you need to call Dr Kalonia, please.... “

There is no answer to her plea, an empty silence mocking her as she starts to cry.

Her fretfulness continues to heighten when she comes to realise, she cannot seem to find her holoprojector to call for help. Even as Rey she reaches out in great effort with the Force, her search comes up woefully short.

The damn thing has been lost some time between her trip to Varykino and their supper last night, her last call to Finn had been just before.

She wagers perhaps it is buried under so great mass of cloth or discarded accidentally in some unknown place within the palace.

It doesn’t really matter anyway, for the one thing she knows and needs to know, is that the damn holo isn’t here.

The Force is an unstable blanket of shadow around Rey as her terror darkens, a crushing and heavy pressure that pushes hard upon her as labour really begins.

Rey screams out in agony, feeling as though she is being torn clean in two by the force of her own body.

Somewhere in the distance, she hears something split and splinter, her grip on the Force growing more and more dangerous as the pain does not seem to stop.

She will pull this whole room apart if she’s not careful, her control slipping as errant tendrils of that immense power lash out in bursts of intense energy.

Rey fears now, that terrible hereditary gift of hers will wreak havoc if she does not stay alert, her hands already feeling hot and itchy as rogue static crackles off her skin.

She must not let go.

“Asha…you need to call Dr. Kalonia....please just call her...I’m begging you…..don’t let me do this all alone".

Rey begins to sob in earnest, her dread and despersation overwhelming every sense.

There is a sudden and rapid scurry of footsteps down the corridor that move towards her and a door opens somewhere to her right.

“Ma'am, are you alright?” a young, shaken voice calls as the relief of warm bright light, floods her room.

* * *

_Deep in the cave, on an island the far side of the sea, something stirs._

_In the depthless, dark void of the raging seas the eyes of man slowly slip open as he wakes from a deep and intoxicating slumber. He is confused, unable to focus as bubbles of air steadily slips out of his mouth._

_Static rises in the air above him as a lightning storm threatens to break, for the wind howls as choppy waters start to churn and beat._

_A whisper calls against that raging wind. The voice of a mother calling for her babe._

_Long lost in the years and realms that separate._

**_Ben._ **

_The man’s gaze begins to sharpen in the murky water, his head turning as he hears that distant, achingly familiar voice whispering in his ear._

**_Ben, I am here sweetheart._ **

_He turns again in the inky water, twisting and aimlessly searching that darkness of any sign of salvation._

_And just as he is about to give into despair, he hears that voice through the void of time and space._

**_Ben, you’re so close my darling._ **

_Arching his head in the direction of that ghostly call, he spies a thin glimmer of light through that once endless sea of nothingness. He see’s a way home._

_There is no conscious thought that drives him forward, his muscles sparking into action as if on instinct it seems._

_His arms pull him steadily through the water as he follows the beckoning of his guide, that dull light ahead, becoming brighter with every stroke he takes._

_He hurtles on, thinking of nothing but escape_

_Swimming and swimming, until he can swim no more._

* * *

Everything seems to happen so fast as soon Asha raises the alarm. An army of medical droids flood Rey’s room as the Queen is urgently roused from her bed.

Soon the whole Palace is awake and scurrying to prepare for whats about to come.

It is very quickly discovered once the droids start to examine her; Rey is much too far gone to be moved to her birthing suite the far side of the Palace. 

All the much-needed medical supplies, towels and hot water are immediately whisked to her side, vital arrangements made before Rey can even register what is happening.

Not that she is in any frame of mind to care all that much.

“Rey my darling....you have to breath....just breath....” Dehvasa murmurs soothingly as she holds her hand “Help is on its way”.

There is a cool, damp cloth placed on her forehead as sweat begin to pour from her brow, Asha shushing her gently as she groans in reply.

“Where is Dr. Kalonia.....she’s supposed to be here?” Rey whimpers, her eyes wide and full of terror.

“She’s on her way sweet girl....you just need to hold on”.

The medical droids are beeping ominously in the background as they study her vitals.

<Report; blood pressure high.......may lead to fetal distress...>

<Surgical intervention perhaps advised>

Rey closes her eyes and tries to shut them out, knowing panicking will do her no good. Her face twists in pain as another contraction ripples through her core.

“Why haven’t they administered her painkillers?” Asha whispers gravely to the Queen “Sure it's making things worse?”

Rey feels Dehvasa’s hand leave hers, too exhausted to object as the Queen rises to her feet. She doesn’t even have the energy to open her eyes at this point.

“Her labour is too far advanced, it’s too late.....”

“Poor girl”.

Neither say anything further for a moment, a nervous silence falling in that deadly quiet room as even the medical droids seem to hush. For a time, it is only Rey’s distressed whimpers that break the lull.

Soon a small cup of water is pressed to her lips, the feel of the cool glass on her skin a fleeting relief.

“Drink ma’am, drink. You’ll need your strength.”

Rey nods in acceptance and opens her lips to the offered cup, gushing down the water like a suckling calf. She leans back into the plush bedding as she sighs heavily, her eyes still screwed shut as she tries to ignore that persistent ache through her abdomen.

But utterly failing as more contractions engulf her body.

Just as she is resigning herself to another long spasm of grief, there is a sudden, loud commotion in the hallway parallel to her room. A man’s voice can be heard shouting at someone before a distinct bellow erupts as the intruder argues down the corridor. Heavy footsteps follow as the incoming beast continues to squabble with some unfortunate guard.

“I don’t care what you say, you cannot go down there!”

The second voice growls low in warning and another scuffle breaks out.

_< Be quiet Boy, no silly human tell Chewbacca what to do!>_

There is another grunt of defiance and dispute before the guard is abruptly launched through the double doors , his armoured form skidding across the marble floor as Chewie’s immense frame dips under the doorway and into her room.

< _Where is my Sunshine?_ > he growls low and menacingly, his furry face softening as he spots her amid the many pillows of her bed.

“ _Chewie_!” Rey sobs in relief and surprise “You made it.”

< _The Maker itself could not stop Wookie > _he gurgles affectionately before giving Dehvasa a terse nod of apology. The Queen to her credit quickly shakes the flabbergasted look of shock from her face and merely nods in reply, shifting away from the bed to allow him room.

The disgraced guard shoots the towering Wookie a look of utter disgust before slipping back out of the room as he bows awkwardly to the Queen. Knowing somehow, he will never live this down.

Chewie is quickly by Rey’s head, stroking her limp, messy hair as he coos quietly with concern.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I don’t think I can do this alone.” Rey sobs with a bittersweet smile.

Chewie kisses her forehead softly and takes both her clammy hands in his great, big paw with a look of pure tenderness.

< _Sunshine is not alone. Chewbacca will be right here >_.

Rey smiles brighter, her eyes tired but bright with gratitude.

_< Friends on their way, Stormtrooper and Engineer coming with Pup too>_

“Finn and Rose are coming to Naboo?” Rey exclaims weakly, her pain momentarily forgotten as her heart surges with love for her dear friends.

<O _f course, kin always come when needed._ >

Rey beams at him, squeezing his paw gently as she feels hopeful for the first time all night.

The droids seem to hum happily in the background as they watch her heartrate slow to a healthier range, the pressure easing as that anxiety of before seems to fade. Chewbacca’s immense presence has calmed the worst of her nerves.

Rey’s smile begins to dim as another thought begins to cross her mind, that feeling of gaping absence growing the longer she looks at her friend.

“I wish he was here Chewie, Gods do I wish Ben was here” she whispers sadly, her eyes misting as fat tears well and fall down her cheeks.

The old Wookie leans forward and kisses her hands as he gurgles sadly.

_< Chewbacca wish too.....but Sunshine must be strong. Sunshine must be strong for Pup>._

Rey nods, exhaling shakily as her tears continue to fall.

“I know....”

Chewbacca opens his mouth to offer her more words of comfort, when a new shuffle of activity outside the room draws both their attention.

There is an almost synchronized exhale of relief from everyone in the room, when the tall, thin figure of Dr Harter Kalonia glides gracefully into Rey’s now crowded bedroom.

“Good morning Master Skywalker...” she says demurely, taking in the pale, sweaty form of her patient as she gapes at her with glazed eyes.

“.....It seems someone is in a bit of a rush to arrive.”

The doctor gestures hurriedly to the nearest medical droid, taking the proffered scrubs and gloves it offers without breaking her eye contact with Rey.

“Well, there is no time like the present I guess” she says calmly, glancing over to the EKG with a deepening frown. Her face lightens as whatever she finds there quickly assuages her concern.

“What say we get this baby born?”.

* * *

_Deep within the cave, on that island beyond the stars, there begins a groan. A deep, rumbling creak as a terrible pressure builds._

_The unseeing glass of an ancient time heaves against the thudding push of a figure within. The outline of his broad body flashes in the dark, as the sky above splits and shakes with startling light._

**_Ben, you’re almost there._ **

_He can see her on the other side, his mother, standing still as she watches his battle and awaits his return._

**_Ben, don’t stop. Don’t give up yet._ **

_The figure of his mother is joined by a hand, pressing against the cold opaque surface. A small, lined palm he knows so well._

_The man is now thrashing on the other side, limbs falling in odd, slow circles as if held in animation._

_He fights again, to join the hand he sees on the glass. His palm finding its flimsy, cracking surface as his mother pushes to touch him._

_**Ben**._

_The voice calls again, this time being joined by a melodious, younger whisper. This new voice counter pointing the older, husky tone of his mother like a small, sweet bell._

_Begging him to keep trying._

_**Daddy**._

* * *

“Just one more push, Rey, just one more push” Dr Kalonia urges as Rey arches off the bed with a scream.

“I can’t do it; it hurts too much. It hurts too much”.

Her body is broken and spent by now, the strain too much and the pain too great, to keep her body strong enough to push any longer.

“You can darling, I promise you, you can.”

Chewie holds her hand tighter as he whispers words of strength and comfort in her ear and it occurs to Rey now, in this strange moment of realization amid the agony and exhaustion of childbirth, that this old, smelly fur ball, is the closest thing she’ll ever get to a father.

And she couldn’t be happier.

For that old Wookie loves like his own.

<Sunshine, just one more push. One more and pup will be here>.

Just one more, that’s all she needs.

* * *

_Ben watches as the lone hand pressed to the glass slides downwards, getting smaller as a new figure steps forward out of the gloom._

**_Daddy, come home._ **

_The sound of that little bell rings through the chaos around it, that sweet voice the only thing he hears._

_The lightning storm illuminates a small child standing alone in the bleak desolate cavern that lies on the other side of this World. A flickering reflection of what was, what is and what can be._

_In the flaring light of the that endless winters storm, Ben see’s the child joined by the outline of a familiar female figure and the smaller hunched form of his mother._

_Their hands join the child’s, palms pushed flush to the glass as they try to reach for him._

_They are waiting for him._

**_Ben_ **

_**Home**._

_It lies just on the other side._

_Everything he has ever wanted._

* * *

“I can see the head, just keep going. Don’t stop”

Rey feels as though she is being torn in half as she feels the baby inch closer to freedom, the pressure on her core unbearable as it stretches to its limit. She wails through the horror of it and gives that urge to push everything she got.

For she will not stop now.

The Force is throbbing in time with her pulse as her muscles push and push.

Straining until the blood seems to drain from her head.

As she collapses against the bed in a moment of pure fatigue, Rey swears she sees Leia standing directly in front of her.

This bittersweet look of pride on her face as she urges her on.

_Keep going cyar’ika._

Rey blinks rapidly in surprise, Leia’s image disappearing almost as quickly as it had appeared. She huffs loudly in bewilderment, disappointed to find her mentor gone.

But the words remain.

_Keep going cyar’ika._

Rey takes a deep breath and digs as deep as she can, screaming through the pain as something inside seems to give.

* * *

_There is a crashing, all-consuming boom of thunder and all at once the three figures disappear into the dark._

_He is alone._

_Distraught and desperate to see them all once more, his fist begin to fly against the failing mirror as he rages._

_He draws his fist back again and again as he hates and curses the Force for showing him this vision of his heart's desire._

_For keeping him here, within touching distance of his own true happiness._

_Strength he has not known for years burns through him, the silent seas around him boiling with his anger._

_There is darkness within him now that churns and gives violence to the water, making it beat against the glass with an unrelenting vengeance._

_His fists meet that last barrier easier with each blow, the viscous hold on it has on him slipping away like water on rock._

_The mirror creaks and blisters but does not break._

_Pushing off, Ben's frenzy has built to an inferno. The living Force that had once abandoned him, rolls effortless from his fingers as he clenches that barricade with every ounce of strength he has left._

_He screams into that empty void of a prison, as he wrenches and pulls at every crevice and imperfection he can find._

_**Daddy**._

_The little bell calls again._

_Its small form moves forward into the light once more, that cruel barrier that separates the World from him, shatters into oblivion as the child places their delicate hand upon the surface one final time._

_And the longest second, the whole universe stills as though everything is frozen in motion and time._

_But then._

_The levee breaks._

* * *

There is a sudden intake of breath as Dr Kalonia pulls the baby free, a split-second lull of silence in which Rey fears the absolute worst.

 _But then_.

She hears the sweetest, mewling cry as her little baby takes that first, confused breath of air.

_Her Peanut._

The doctor smiles at Rey proudly as she carefully checks the baby over and begins to wrap the wailing babe in cotton. She stands and begins to hand the swaddled infant to her with a happy sigh.

“Well done Rey, you did it. He’s perfect in every way.”

Rey’s breath stutters as she takes in Harter Kalonia’s words, wrapping her arms around the tiny bundle with bewildered joy.

 _He_.

Harter had said _he_.

The little Peanut she carried is a beautful baby boy.

Chewie whoops beside her as he catches sight of the newborn, his shaggy face split in an ecstatic grin as he pets Rey's head gently. Asha and the Queen share his smile, offering their congratulation before excusing themselves to give Rey some privacy.

Looking down at her newborn son for the first time, Rey is filled with the purest and deepest love she has even known. For even though his little face is a bright red and covered in the detritus of his own birth as he cries mournfully against her breast, he is singularly, the most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her life.

Moving the cotton sheet from his head, her heart stops and aches with joy as she finds a thatch of coal black curl on the crown of his head. Running her finger gingerly over his soft, wispy hair she laughs sadly through her tears.

“I spent over three painful hours giving birth to you Peanut and you have the gall to come out looking exactly like your Daddy. I don’t think that’s quite fair young man” she whispers tenderly as she kisses his little face.

The baby in her arms seems to calm as he hears his mother speak, those hysterical, piercing cries softening as he seems to recognize the soothing timbre of Rey’s voice.

“Let’s hope you’ll inherit at least one thing from me” she jokes as she presses the snuffling infant closer against her chest. All the agony of the hours past in labour is nothing more than a bad memory to her now.

Nothing matters in this moment but the little child settling on her chest.

He opens his bleary eyes for a moment and lets out a short exhale of relief, comforted by the smell and the warmth of her skin. He snuffles lightly again before closing his eyes and drifting into an exhausted sleep.

His ordeal finally over.

Rey smiles down at him and thanks all the Gods of the known Universe for this gift she will treasure forever.

“Sleep little one, Momma will keep you safe.”

* * *

  
No sound is heard now but the distant crackle of thunder and the beating of a panicked heart.

In that cave, on the island beyond the sea, something inhales deeply as it gives life to a body once lost.

 _In_.

The solid outline of a man forms clearer and clearer in the world around him.

 _Out_.

The cave exhales and with it, gasps the lungs of Ben Solo as he lies upon the sodden, sharp ground of the cavern floor.

It is the angry roll of thunder he hears first and brilliant flash of lightening he sees as his senses return one by one.

_He is alive._

Flesh and blood and blissfully mortal.

Then as sensation and nerves reconnect, then comes the pain, the toll he must pay for a life he has been returned.

He feels it all now, the ache of his broken leg, the sting of the cuts on his face and the crackling wheeze of his broken ribs.

 _But,_ he is alive.

He is alive and he is finally free.

“Ben.”

His mother’s kind face swims into focus as it looms above him.

“My beautiful Ben _.”_

He can almost feel her palm upon his cheek as she runs her hands down his hair and onto his face.

It brings him peace.

“Ben.....I need you to rise Cyar’ika . I need you to get up.”

Her voice is clearer now, like a pounding weight in his head.

But he is starting to feel drowsy now and he cannot seem to focus on anything but Leia’s commanding voice.

The urge to close his eyes is overwhelming as the pain within his limbs and chest grows like a cancer.

Every last ounce of his energy has spent getting here.

He has nothing left.

“You need to rise. You need to rise for them Ben. You're almost there.”

“It hurts.... _Gods_ it hurts so much....” he whimpers, his lids sliding closed for a blissful second.

“I know Cyar'ika. I know.”

Her hands are his cheeks again.

“But you are so close, you can't give up.”

Ben whimpers again with tear-stained cheeks, the pressure in his chest unbearable now every time he takes a deep breath.

“I don’t know if I can Momma. I don’t think I can even move”

“You can, I promise you my darling. Rise up, rise for her.”

 _Rey_.

He remembers her face as his mind clicks back to reality.

His lovely Rey, who loves him more than he will ever deserve.

How can he abandon her now after all they had sacrificed?

Ben’s heart thuds rapidly as his mind is filled with disjointed images, half formed memories blending together, _until_ , he starts to remember.

To see the weeks they spent alone upon Naboo, to _feel_ the humidity of Dagobah upon his skin and the relive the sordid passions they indulged upon on Endor.

He remembers the Cave and the World between Worlds.

_He remembers everything._

Rey.

She never gave up.

Ben’s eyes snap open as his strength surges again.

Knowing now.

He must get to his feet.

He has to live, he has to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again.....Solo's back, tell a friend :)
> 
> So, I LOVED writing this chapter. I really wanted Rey to go back to Naboo so her story with Ben could go full circle and adding the subplot of Sabe seemed to add a really nice depth to her return.
> 
> However this did add a significant amount of narrative to chapter that was supposed to be all about baby Daddy Ben, rising like the badass phoenix he is....but, i felt it was also important to give Rey that final sense of peace about her past.....I hope you liked the reveal.
> 
> I know some of you were hoping Baby Solo was going to be a girl, but from the moment I started this story, Ben was always going to have a son. At least for his first born..... 😉
> 
> We will have a lot of Ben content in the next chapter and Reylo MAY reunite for real :)
> 
> In the meantime, I am struggling to come up with a suitable name for baby Solo, any suggestions? I will NOT be considering the following; Luke, Anakin, Han, Obi Wan or god forbid, Sheev!
> 
> EDIT: so far Jacen is winning 😁
> 
> Let me know you suggestions and if I don't update before the New Year, Happy Holidays everyone <3


	22. Hestia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben recovers, whilst Rey ponders a life beyond her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there,
> 
> Happy 2021 everyone, what an intense first 8 days of the year its been! I am currently writing to you from my city's 3rd lockdown, which is of course.....so fun at this stage :)
> 
> Sorry the delay in posting this, with the holiday period and the length this chapter exploded to , it has been a long slog!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last. The response to my previous installment was sincerely AMAZING! Thank you for getting me over the 500 kudos mark and for sending me such encouraging comments. I haven't had the easiest 6 months and this fandom and you loyal, kind readers have kept me sane in these trying time. So thank you, once again, from the bottom of my heart. You are all wonderful people.
> 
> If you have any responses to this latest chapter, let me know, I am all ears.
> 
> I will try post again in the next month before we get to the epilogue, if not please know it is on its way!!!!
> 
> Until then, stay safe out their in the big bad world.
> 
> Much love,  
> RedCat

At first, all he can feel is pain.

This searing, unending ache as every neuron in his body registers the agony of its damage and the desperate state of its own condition.

But somehow, he endures it. Presses on .

When he tries to recollect later,  Ben  does not remember  how he managed to get out of that cave of attrition and nightmare. The climb itself would have been a challenge for even the fittest of cragsman, yet somehow, he rises to the surface. Breathless, in a hazy, pain riddled trance that pulls him back over the precipice and into the growing light. The adrenaline a powerful sedative for those short, necessary moment.

There will be times in the weeks that followed , where that he will ponder without answer , just how he had summoned  the strength  to  tolerate it, to channel that renewed power within the Force  and leap out of that  soulless  cavern. 

Regardless of this mystery, for it does not truly matter how he’d struggled his way out, Ben is soon overcome once more as the  endorphins that  fuel him,  ebb to nothing.  And then, whatever herculean endurance he’d been gifted , abandon’s him and the malaise of his  true condition begins to wreak havoc anew. 

It is his legs that go first, his shattered ankle taking him down before he can even take a second step forward across the wet and wild plane of granite , that spreads from that cave’s ominous mouth.

As he tumbles to the ground, it is next his head that fail him as consciousness wanes in the wake of such injury. The lack of breath in his constricted chest only growing worse as his body weight presses against the cracked fragility of his ribs, compressing the air to his muddled brain.

Ben wheezes as he fights to turn onto his back and relieve the pressure. All but passing out cold as the Winter rain pelts his chest and face in cruel, bone chilling lashes.

He battles against the horror of it all, unable to keep his eyes open and stop the inevitable darkness that descends.

_ Ben. _

His mother’s woeful call falls on deaf ears this time, for there will be no rousing the dark prince from this protective slumber. 

* * *

  
_ “Momma?” _

_ “Yes  _ _ Cyar’ika _ _ ”. _

_ “How much do you love me?” _

_ “More than there are stars in the sky _ _ my  _ _ darling _ _ ”. _

_ “And will you love me forever?” _

_ “ _ _ Of course! And perhaps even  _ _ beyond _ _ that,  _ _ ” _

_ “Momma?” _

_ “Yes Ben” _

_ “What if I act bad sometimes. Will you still love me then?” _

_ “Always,….no matter what. I will love you, always”. _

_ “I love you too Momma”. _

* * *

Small, cooing creatures surround Ben as he wakes sometime later, the sky above him now relatively clear and blue as the mid-afternoon sun offers little respite. There is heat at least to be found in its shallow glow, the chill in his bones fading little by little.

The gaggle of short, squat beasts stare at him with their soft, kind eyes as he comes around, their large smiling mouths, chattering together as they gently prod and press his supine body. Testing his limits as he groans weakly on the hard, sharp stone.

The roll of agony that accompanies these investigations  forces Ben to shut he eyes against the barrage of lights and sound. 

Senses overloaded.

Time then shifts in the World outside his aching body, minutes ticking by so softly he doesn’t sense the change.

When next he finds a spark of lucidity, it takes Ben a moment to realize he is lying upon a stretcher of some kind. Rough canvas rubbing against his hair as he shifts abruptly in surprise. There is a crackle of gentle static as the woolen material of his clothes brushes again upon the stiff cloth beneath him.

Ben slowly prizes his swollen lids apart, blinking rapidly as his vision clears. Shapeless shadows take form in that unexpected darkness he receives , and his mind takes stock as image becomes thought.

There is a low, stone roof above him, with great thick walls of granite either side that hide the landscape from his gaze. This rudimentary home is the dullest of cold grey’s, soften only by a small fire as its warm light flicker against the rocky mass. The open-hearth spits and snaps in the middle of that small hut, its roaring flame keeping the worst of the biting chill of evening from his body.

He can hear it now,  a gale  howling like a wounded  spectre outside the dwelling's solid walls. Thundering around that hilly isle of winter , as if it takes umbrage to his mere presence here. 

The simple hut holds steady despite the battering it endures.

_ Hut _ .

Ben bolts up from his sick bed as this thought takes root, _ he is in a stone hut on  _ _ Ahch _ _ -To! _

He made it to the other side.

Any split second of elation is quickly forgotten as an  immediate and stabbing pain tears through him. There is a this fresh, crushing agony that radiates from his broken ribs as he tries once more to sit upward. 

For each careless jolt of that fractured bone, robs him of his breath as fragments crunch and crackle.

Ben collapses back against the canvas  with  a  desperate,  heaving rattles his chest, his eyes seeing stars as he wheezes rapidly in terror and pain .

Those kind, ugly creatures rush forward as he whimpers, large eyes concerned as they examine him hurriedly. One nursemaid immediately thrusts a small bowl to his lips, urging him to drink.

Ben huffs against the liquid inside, trying weakly to push it away as a roll of nausea turns his stomach. The smell alone makes him gag.

But the creature chirps more insistently, pressing the bowl against his mouth undeterred.

Ben groans as he gives in, drinking down the sour, sticky remedy in one, unhappy gulp. A second creature offers him another bowl as soon as he swallows the foul medicine, and at first, he resists. Shaking his head weakly in protest until the sweet smell of wild honey hits his nose and his face relaxes in relief. He greedily accepts the soothing spirit like a starving man, gulping down the pleasant burn of it as it slides down his throat.

Ben’s awareness begins to dip in and out of focus as the small nurse maids scurry around him like restless waves. Dressing his wounds and cleaning his ruined face as a second party examines the mangled flesh of his leg, his ankle utterly twisted many degrees beyond its axis.

Tiny hands gently turn and press upon the broken shards of his joint as he grimaces silently, no longer having the strength to cry out. There is a terrible pressure now but no pain, as the tonics they have given him serve their purpose.

Shielding Ben from the worst of their necessary corrections and treatment. 

There is nothing but pinching discomfort felt as they reset the bone and a rudimentary splint is lashed around his swollen foot. Twisting tightly up his shivering calf as he begins to drift.

No long after, Ben falls into a dreamless, heavy sleep as the tonic finally takes him under. More honey wine lacing his tongue before the dark sets in and all he feels is blissful numbness.

* * *

Rey is well aware she’s going a little baby mad.

It’s been over a week since her son had come kicking and screaming into the World, dark haired and sweet as a spring lamb. With eyes that make her want to weep and shout with joy every time he looks at her.

It has been over a week and she still can’t get enough of his face, that perfect little baby boy that shares her blood and captures her attention every minute, of every day. 

Rey cannot stop staring at him in his bassinet, watching his little chest  rise up and down as he lies milk drunk and blissfully dreaming of whatever shapeless wonders newborns dream.

Rey still cannot fathom that he is hers and hers alone. This child that she carried and grew.

This child, that saved her from the darkness of her own soul, the desolation of her grief when Ben was lost to her .

He is her little spark of goodness and light amid the chaos of her life.

Dr  Kalonia says he’s doing well and developing faster than expected. Rey’s not so little boy has put on so much weight in his first week of life, his newborn body has already filled out and almost outgrown all of his first sleepsuits!

Her peanut is a big boy in every definition of the word, weighing close to nine imperial pounds six at birth, with a pair of unmistakably long legs even at this early stage. 

Laid beside the petite, slim frame of Lily Paige Tico, who is now over eight weeks old, Rey’s newborn baby is a  physical wonder. A veritable behemoth she cannot even believe once fit inside her.

Not that Rey is entirely surprised by his bulk, for  whenever her son is not sound asleep, he is more than likely feeding, or at least demanding to be fed!

Rey does not particularly mind all that much, for there is something beautiful about it in a way. 

To be relied upon like that, his very existence and happiness dependent solely on her love.

And Gods does she love that little boy in a way she has loved no one else.

_ Even Ben _ .

It comforts that scared, lonely child that hides eternally within her, that searching ghost of her five-year-old self, that seeks nothing more than a family to call her own.

_ Belonging. _

This miracle of a child is a wish fulfilled and Rey would not swap with it for all the riches in the entire Galaxy.

But it is not easy, none of it is and Maker does she know it in the deepest core of her bones. She stands only at the beginning of this great and wonderful adventure, but she is not blind to the hurdles that lie ahead.

Finding enough time to sleep and eat being the most pressing quagmire to navigate in her journey of motherhood.

Yet, there is something almost sacred about those moments late at night, when the whole city of  Theed is fast asleep, and she and her beautiful child look at one another so sweetly. Her baby suckling contently as he clings to her breast with tiny, pale hands. 

Fingers opening and closing reflexively in satisfaction before he falls back into his deep and untroubled sleep.

Each breath he takes is worth every ounce of pain and exhaustion she endures.

It is love incomparable to anything else, this restless need to give him everything she has. To protect him from the horrors of this world and to shelter him from the dark secrets of his ancestors. 

For Rey will keep him innocent for as long as she can and raise this boy free of the expectations that tore his own father in two. Rey will give him the childhood she and Ben were denied, allow him merciful ignorance until he is old enough to understand and face the truth that is his family.

And then, she will be there to hold his hand, to sooth the tears that will inevitably come with the heavy burden of knowing. Rey will help him understand.

She will show him, he will not shoulder this terrible gift alone.

For now, she will enjoy the calm before the questions truly begin.

Even after a full week of life her precious little boy still doesn’t have a name and Rey continuous to call him her little Peanut. There had of course been suggestions from every well-wisher who had graced her presence, but nothing seems to fit this fresh, new addition to the universe. 

There remains too at the back of her mind, an awful thought which rings through her subconscious and refuses to be muted, biting and grating on her nerves like a relentless gnat.

The maudlin  realization: _ that even a simple name, can carry a heavy burden for the one it is bestowed upon. _

__ The past cannot be forgotten even by those that do not live it.

And he will inherit it all.

The good and the bad.

But for now, Rey endeavors to enjoy what little peace anonymity allows.

Rey sighs happily as she lays her hand on her son’s chest, smiling softly as he snuffles sleepily in response. The baby opens one small eyes before shutting it again, too milk drunk to stay awake for long.

“Sleep my little one, Momma is here” she whispers as she presses a tender kiss to his wispy, dark curls.

Rey yawns heavily after he settles, intent now on retiring to her soft, welcoming bed a few paces away. It has been a long night and the brightness and cacophony of dawn is only an hour or two away. She stands and stretches her sore and tired muscles, groaning in relief as the tension uncoils bit by bit.

A short lie down is exactly what she needs.

Rey is just about to crawl under the light, summer blanket when she feels a shift in the Force around her.

Rey raises her eyes from her bed as she senses a change in the air, the hair on her arms standing upright before she sees her, Leia's steady blue figure unmistakable against the light stone of her bedroom wall.

Her mentor smiles beatifically at Rey before the shining eyes of her weathered face drift and drop towards the simple wicker bassinet. She sighs happily, admiring the little bundle wrapped within as that same warmth and immediate love for her young grandson flares like a burst of pure happiness, folding itself around Rey like blanket of comfort in the Force. 

The baby stirs as he senses her presence, hiccupping softly in his sleep.

Leia steps closer, her gaze never moving from his serene, little face.

"He really is such a beautiful child".

Her words are honeyed and blissful as they gush through the still, early morning air, making Rey’s smile broaden and stretch.

"And good as gold too" she answers softly with a wry chuckle, knowing the statement may be chancing fate. Leia beams back, those soft brown eyes of hers crinkling in the corners as she looks up at Rey with such tenderness.

“Just like his mother.....”

“Hardly....” Rey snorts back, stepping closer to the bassinet as she joins Leia’s side.

“I don’t believe I was ever a well-behaved child ..... or  well-behaved adult for that matter”.

“Women who  make  their mark in history seldom  are......”.

Rey shrugs in reply, not sure how to answer beyond the nonchalant motion of her shoulders.

Perhaps there is no real reply needed, for there is a stark honesty to be found in letting it hang in the air unopposed. 

_ Rebellion was never built on good behavior. _

The two women say nothing more for a moment, content to watch the small child in front of them as he sleeps utterly oblivious to their attentions. 

Leia hums happily as she runs a tentative, blue finger over his sable curls, her face wistful as she remembers another dark eyed haired baby so very long ago. A baby she laments she had held too few times, her precious boy instead kept at a distance, lest she broke him with her love and worries. 

When first she had felt the ferocity of those feeling she had in early motherhood, it scared her. It seemed a dangerous obsession in her own warped mind, to love someone like that.

How stupid it all seems now.

Leia sighs as she sees Ben’s  features shift in his babe’s  face , that full little pouting mouth and look of puzzled bother a fleeting echo of his absent father as he dreams of gentler things. It fills her with the most pleasant of aches to know, unequivocally, her son lives on in him now.

What had once been a bittersweet reminder of her son,  is the most  wonderful of  realizations .

The most hopeful of vindications, that everything she fought for, that she sacrificed for her family, had not been in vain.

All they had sacrificed, Ben, Han and even Leia herself; a part of them remained in this world. 

Living.

Breathing.

_ Thriving _ .

However, this young child is not only part of her that has survived the ravages of time and darkness.

_ Her son is alive,  _ barely, but holding strong.

Ben has always defied expectations . 

_ Always _ .

Leia feels guilty, keeping the truth from Rey as the days stretch on and Ben languishes alone and in pain on that distant isle.

But, she cannot yet speak on this miracle of time and space. Bound by the Force greater than herself.

The return has taken its toll on her son and though he is healing, there is nothing certain in this life.  If he were to slip from this mortal coil once more, perhaps  willful  ignorance could be bliss and preferable to the grief of reality.

Rey has lost so much already.

It is a chance  she is willing to take,  _ for,  _ if Leia allows Rey to lose him for a third time, it will destroy what little light this sweet girl has left. 

Too much  now  hangs in the balance to risk such heartbreak, and Leia cannot pretend it would not break Ben to know what Rey will lose to save him. 

_ Again _ .

Rey is not physically strong enough to weather that storm, not without risking them both. There is now a child to consider,  a child that needs Rey more than Ben does.

For he is safe and well taken care of on  Ahch -To, the Lanai will see him through the worst of it if he can just make it through these next few days .

Luke will play his part too in time.

And Leia, she would be Ben’s eyes until the time they would meet once more. 

She had to stay hopeful, and ignore every maternal instinct demanding she do the opposite.

For it aches her to leave Ben alone yet again, but she knows it must be done.

The old Jedi Master runs her finger down her grandson’s cheek a final time as she swallows down that last bitter burn of shame, turning to face Rey with a smile to mask the turmoil below.

“And how are you doing my darling? You seem remarkably chipper given the hour.”

“I am fine......just a little tired” Rey murmurs quietly, trying and failing to stifle a yawn.

“Come.....let us sit then” Leia suggests as she takes Rey by the hand and leads her the last few steps to her bed. The younger woman does resist, her feet barely lifting from the ground with weariness as she moves to the welcoming softness of her mattress.

They sit side by side for a moment in comfortable silence as a warm breeze drifts in through the open balcony doors, the City outside balmy even as the early morning darkness reigns across the slumbering landscape. Somewhere in the far distance, a songbird sings cheerfully before the dawn. Rousing potential mates and greeting the day with all the verve and hopefulness the late Spring promises.

“I’ve always loved that sound” Leia whispers softly, her gaze wistful as it fixes on the wakening world outside Rey’s gilded room.

“It reminds me so much of when I was a young girl in  Aldera .....you see, sometimes on a very still Summer’s evening...... if you were lucky, you could hear the Nightingale’s dusk chorus in the walled  garden’s of the palace ..... ”

Leia pauses, her eyes darkening a fraction as a pang of pain vibrates through her. It is  hard even now , to think of  the  beautiful  planet of her childhood  and no t  lament all she lost as she watched the  Deathstar tear it asunder. The richness of its  lush  landscape and  the  dignity of its  kind  people, existing solely in her memory now.

She clears her throat as a glassy sheen covers her eyes, the timbre of her voice much lower when she continues.

“During the cold Winter months, at times Snowy Owls added music to the City air. Those rare nocturnal hoots, the sweetest of prizes on those nights I dared to ignore curfew........ Which I did frequently of course!”

Rey smiles back at her ruefully with a knowing look, fully aware of Leia’s total inability to ever do as she’s told.

“I  have always loved  birdsong  too, the variety here on  Naboo has been another happy discovery  during  Peanuts night feeds….”

Leia makes face for a moment, her brow pinching in displeasure at the nickname.

“ Peanut?… ….so you’ve still not named him?” she asks quietly, trying and failing to hide the judgement in her voice. Rey shakes her head as she looks back at Leia sheepishly, more than a little embarrassment that more than a week has elapsed since his birth and he  remains nameless.

“No….. its just…..”

She bites on her lip as she  glance s toward the bassinet.

“Nothing seems to…. _ fit him _ …..and I know…by rights, he should be named after his father…but…well……I believe …..the first Ben Solo had more than enough trouble living up to that name.”

Leia’s face darkens as the words cut deep, but she makes no comment upon Rey’s insult. Conscious the young mother does not mean to cause offence or aim to hurt her, for she is simply speaking the truth as she sees it.

Nothing more.

“He deserves a name free of the past....”

“Avoiding such a legacy will be tricky” Leia replies quietly, staring at her hands as she tightens her fingers into fists. It is cruel and disheartening to know the weight of their  colored histories will invariably pass down the line and onto that sweet little baby’s shoulder, the fourth generation of Skywalker beset by expectations and fear.

What unbridled terror that could that mighty bloodline bring, a bloodline now forever intertwined with the dark power of a true born Palpatine.

But as Leia raises her troubled gaze to Rey’s open and pretty face, she finds somehow, all her reservations and worries seem to wane and disappear. The goodness and guileless optimism of this young woman after everything she had lost in her short life, astounds Leia even now.

She knows her heart, the strength that lies behind that sunny disposition and bright smile. Leia knows, as she did when she first met Rey, there is nothing to fear in a simple name.

Actions and words show what lies within a person's soul, for alone a name holds no power.

Leia’s life had been living proof of this.

For though her father’s ruinous shadow had cast a darkness in her long and wide, she had endured. Embraced the light and righted the wrongs the name  _ Skywalker  _ had wrought upon the Galaxy.

Leia had grown beyond it , and Rey  would do the same in time .

As for  that  sweet  baby boy , Rey so affectionately calls Peanut; Leia is certain he will thrive and flourish under her gentle, understanding guidance. 

He will grow beyond and become more than any of them can ever dream. For he is loved and will be loved beyond measure, by the many adoring hearts that surround him. 

And in the end, that is all that really matters.

That is all he will ever really need.

Leia’s guarded expression softens, her dark brown eyes filling warmth as she smiles to comfort Rey’s uncertain spirit.

“Rey, my darling, I would not worry so much. I am sure the right name will come to you when you’re ready” Leia says kindly as she leans forward and lays her weathered hand upon her arm, squeezing gently.

“I have never known you to make a wrong decision....”.

Rey snorts gently before a smirk splits that look of doubt and distrust, a stray memory dredging up a bubble of  humor as she reminisces about some long-forgotten foible.

“Well that’s not entirely true, I believe it was a youthful mistake to let you braid my hair for the Royal Ball last year!”

Leia looks confused for a moment before her face brightens in realization, a wry smile turning her lips upward.

“Why....whatever do you mean?” she replies in mock innocence, her brow arching in playful challenge.

“Oh I think you know exactly what I mean, Ben had a great time laughing at my expense!” Rey grumbles good naturedly, her hands firmly planted on her hips as she levels her old friend a look of mirthful castigation.

“Well..... he always was a cheeky lout”

“Clearly he gets that from his mother.....”

“Only the good stuff” Leia returns teasingly “All the rest is Han’s fault”.

Rey snorts loudly, a beaming grin breaking across her mouth that pulls a small chuckle from her companion. She continues to giggle as she thinks once more of the abject horror she’d felt at realizing the trick Leia had played upon her. That frankly premature, and utterly unintentional announcement of matrimonial intent had been just a little embarrassing.

But, boy had it made Ben laugh.

Gods he’d looked so handsome that night waiting for her on their balcony under the stars.

Rey’s smile grows muted as a pang of longing fills her chest, her heart aching slightly as she remembers his dimpled smile and sparkling whiskey-colored eyes. That endless pining for him not diminishing one bit even as the months edge closer to a year since she last saw his face.

She wonders what he would have thought of all this, how he would have reacted to such unexpected fatherhood.

“Leia.....” she begins awkwardly “Do you think Ben would have taken to the baby, would he have loved him like I do?”.

Leia looks back at her thoughtfully, the cogs of her mind working as she considers the question carefully. Her tone is even, but not without emotion as she answers some moments later.

“I think he would have adored that little body with every  fibre of his being.”

Rey’s stiff posture relaxes as her contented smile returns.

“I do too”.

She wants to say more, feels she needs to say more, but just as she forms the words on her tongue, her little Peanut begins to stir. An unhappy snuffle that quickly grows to a high and insistent cry.

Rey sighs heavily, feeling utterly exhausted all of a sudden. The hours of lost sleep weighing down on her now.

“He cannot possibly be hungry, I fed him last about half an hour ago.  It cannot be wind either .......”

Leia rises to look at him, bending forward to sniff at him cautiously.

“He doesn’t need to be changed either” she says plainly as she turns to look Rey with a frown.

“Perhaps he’s just a little unsettled still....” she sighs again, slowly pushing herself to her feet as her joints groan loudly in protest. Leia’s hand is suddenly at her shoulder, gently, but firmly pushing her back against the mattress.

“May I try something?” she asks earnestly when she catches Rey’s surprised and jaded eyes.

“If he is truly just fussing, maybe I can help you calm him for a little while? Then you can rest?”

Rey studies Leia for a moment as her son’s cries grow louder and shriller, a swell of guilt swirling in her gut as his little fists shake in growing upset. Yet, she is so tired and in need of respite, she is willing to give anything a try.

Rey nods in agreement, watching in muted fascination as Leia immediately reaches into the bassinet and gingerly lifts the  sizable newborn into her arms. She gently rocks him as she softly shushes him with a proud smile.

“What a beautiful boy you are  Cyar’ika , there’s no need for all these tears.”

Leia kisses at his ruddy cheeks as his cries lessen but do not die. 

“Maybe you’ll need a little more persuading my darling.....but don’t worry I’ve just the thing.”

Looking up she catches Rey’s exhausted but enraptured stare.

“Get under the covers sweetheart and try rest a bit”

“But the baby?”

“The baby will be just fine , I promise. Sleep sweetheart” she insists gently.

Rey looks conflicted for a beat, her brow heavy and uncertain before good sense wins out.

Her little Peanut is in excellent hands.

Crawling up the silky, cotton sheets, Rey exhales in audible relief as her body molds itself into the softness of the mattress. Her half-open eyes stay on Leia as the doting Grandmother begins to sing in husky, soft phrases.

Rocking her the little bundle by her chest as she murmurs that same song her own little boy once loved.

“ _ Mirrorbright _ _ , shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember _

_ When the moon is  _ _ mirrorbright _ _ , take this time to remember _ ”.

Rey smiles sadly as she  recognises the simple tune, the song a sweet lullaby Ben’s warm baritone had sung to her on those stolen, happy nights on  Chandrila . 

For they had enjoyed a few precious, contented hours of normality before the horror of Ahch-To had torn them both apart. 

It stirs something deep within her.

Rey swallows back the harsh burn of anguish that forms in her throat, choosing instead to close her eyes and simply listen to the surprising depth and timbre of Leia’s full voice. The cries of her son fade as he finds comfort in the calming, bittersweet melody his grandmother provides.

“ _ Those you have loved but are gone _

_ Those who kept you so safe and warm _

_ The  _ _ mirrorbright _ _ moon lets you see _

_ Those who have ceased to be _ ”

The baby hiccups slightly before snuffling and closing his little eyes, drifting back to sleep as he is lulled by her voice and arms. Leia kisses his small face again as she spies Rey’s chest beginning to rise and fall in steady rhythm. Her own comfort and rest found at last.

Laying the sleeping child carefully back in his bassinet, Leia begins the last verse. Her thoughts turning to her son so very far away.

Her Ben.

Growing stronger every day.

“ _ Mirrorbright _ _ shines the moon, as fires die to their embers _

_ Those you loved are with you still— _

_ The moon will help you remember” _

* * *

_ “ _ _ Those _ _ you loved are with you still— _

_ The moon will help you remember” _

Many millions of miles away, on that once forgotten isle, Ben Solo shudders awake with a gasp. His mother’s song seeping sharply from his muddled dreams as though it plays like music upon the wind.

The numbness of sleep dissolves into consciousness, as more and more of the World around him becomes real. 

His head is heavy and filled with an unanticipated opacity, that leaves him confused as he tries to see through bleary, unsettled eyes. This malaise of medicinal fog, the result of those many and mysterious holistic remedies he has been forced to consume, his nursemaid as diligent as they are single minded. But these agents of care have been administered solely in some careful mercy he does not quite grasp yet. 

The restorative sleep enforced but necessary.

Ben can still taste the sweetness of that honey wine he had been given to lace the sedatives; its pleasant tang found at the edge of his lips as he begins to try and clear the uncomfortable dryness in his throat. He is thankfully for the wine’s strong flavour, for it masks the worst of his sour, water starved cotton mouth. His lax, benumbed tongue sweeps to catch the last of that tonic, the tacky surface of his mouth a particular displeasure.

He searches blindly around for something to drink, his hazy eyes proving little help. He knows somehow, the Lanai have left him a ration water in the vain hope he would arise unscathed. Ben hums in relief when his intuition proves correct and his fingers wrap around the cool surface of a metal canteen by his bed. He hurried unscrews the cap and guzzles down the icy liquid within, groaning in satisfaction as his parched throat and lips are soothed by the  balming water.

Falling back against the softness of his improvised bed, it is then he chances opening his eyes wider to the World he has not seen in years. The hut seems too bright as his senses start to  sharpen, the harsh white light almost painful to his underused nerves. 

The day is well under way it seems in the island outside his door, the hurried chattering's of wild, boisterous creatures an irritant to his throbbing head and unstable focus.

Ben has no idea how long has passed since the last time he registered life outside his narcotized existence, for everything appears to be just as he left it. The passage of hours seems is impossible to estimate, could it be days, weeks or even months?

Or just mere, fractured minutes.

Yet, as he begins to shift and turn in his tiny cot, the ravages of those battles for survival he had weathered, seem oddly more subdued.

The wheezing pain in his chest is nothing more than a subtle ache now .

Ben forces his stinging eyes open wider as he starts to sit up, old wounds protesting at the jostling of his stiff and tender muscles. But the throbs of those knitting tears no longer incapacitate him as they twinge and ache deep in his bones.

The pain is manageable, for now.

Ben wager, judging by his markable progress under such primitive medicine, he has been under the influence of sedatives for several days. Only rest could offer such solid results.

The more the considers the facts, the more he knows, he has lost days to the numbing comfort of those strange tribal narcotics.

As his eyes finally adjust and take in the small, stone hut, Ben is relieved to find he is alone. No overeager nurse maids present to dull and remove his sense with that awful mix of herbs and oils. He has had quite enough of that already!

The small hut is simply furnished around him, nothing but the  basic essentials to be found on the crude, shallow shelves carved either side of him. 

The remnants of a recent fire  sits in the mess of a smoldering pit in the  centre of the room, its embers throwing off little heat as the tinder blackens completely to ash. To Ben’s left, there is single small stool set beside his sick bed, stationed no doubt for whichever kind soul had watched over him these last few unsettled nights. 

That poor unfortunate, had more than likely borne the brunt of his terrible nightmares, for he has seldom slept without some monster from his past invading his rest.

Snoke being a recurrent figure in these twisted acts of his subconscious.

And Ben knows there have been bad nights while he has been between waking worlds, the small fissures in the solid grey walls tell as much.

Healing a Force user can be dangerous work.

He feels almost guilty their kindness has put them in such danger.

Ben determines it is fast approaching the late morning outside judging by what little of the clear sky he can see through the narrow slits of the window. The glint of the winter sun is harsh and irritable to his waking eyes, but it thankfully provides some further needed heat as he shifts his face into the beam for a moment.

Ben begins to rub at his face, trying in earnest to coax the tension from his brow as it throbs harder. The persistent ache perhaps the regrettable sign of withdrawal as the last of that powerful drug washes from his system. 

As he moves his fingers down his cheek, he meets the beginnings of coarse whiskers on his chin and jaw. A full week's growth scratches against his skin as he runs his palm over the rush of dark bristles. His facial hair is coming in thick and fast it seems.

As he moves his hands upwards, he is surprised to find the  hair on his head is soft and clean, the thick, wavy tresses strangely free of knots and snarls.

Sniffing at his skin, he finds the faint smell of lavender and sage clinging to the surface.  It is clear  the Lanai have washed him more than was once, his skin  is  utterly  free of grime and blood , while his lustrous hair  is combed to perfection.

_ Maker, just how out of it had he been? _

Looking down, Ben is  even more  amazed to find his clothes have been changed  too, the realization making him gasp. His dark, torn undershirt  is gone from his chest ,  replaced  some time ago by a cotton long - sleeved tunic composed of many  colors. Stitched it seems from many smaller robes the Lanai had  skillfully  melded together to  cloth him.

“What the....” Ben mutters to himself as he sits up straighter and pulls upon the mishmash of patches, even more in awe as he realizes the soft cotton had more than likely come from his Uncle Luke’s  old robes. 

It’s not as if the old bastard needs now anyway.

Ben’s confusion deepens as he throws back the thin blanket covering him and discovers his legs are utterly bare, save for the rudimental splint remains tightly tied to his right shin. His long, coarse pants are nowhere to be found as his eyes search the room, no doubt cut to pieces when they had treated his urgent wounds.

Thankfully it seems, the Lanai have not changed or touch his underpants , those same long, black undershorts reassuringly grubby in comparison to his haphazard tunic. Perhaps those kindly nursemaids  had known that he would not  have taken well to such  transgressions, for an invasion like that would be unforgivable!

However, given the slight itch and musty feeling in his undershorts, he wishes they had crossed that line. He sincerely needs a wash below the belt.

It all seems so strange to come to terms with it, the startling fact he could not recall a single moment after they had brought him to the hut.

Try as he might......he only draws a blank.

A sudden restlessness comes over him as his mind sharpens further and with it comes a frantic burst of need that urges him to rise from this grimy bed and find his feet again.

Memory seeps back into his fractured psyche as that last of that once potent drug burns away.

_ Rey _ .

His thoughts fill with her face now as that splintered part of him clicks back into place, how had he forgotten so easily?

A new unease fills his chest as he finds no trace of her in his mind, not even the barest link of fraying threads where once the tendrils of their bond had held like iron shackles.

“Nononoo” he gasps in growing horror, knowing now with stark clarity, his lovely Rey has no idea he has crossed back home, that he is even alive! 

That restlessness within him turns to desperation, demanding now he test his limit to know his strength, to know how much he needs to build again to reach out.

_ To reach her.  _

There is but one thought in his mind now, he  must move. He needs to get to his feet.

To get stronger.

But as always, fate intervenes.

Ben hisses and grits his teeth as his left leg swings to the floor and a terrible pain sweeps up his right. The tender, healing fractures of his ankle and chest finally shaking him free of this moment of mania, good sense finally gripping him once more.

There is no  bacta out here in the wilds of space, no quick fix to the terrible injuries he has suffered, only time. He cannot run before he walks or risk the consequences of his own rashness.

He will have to try another way.

Dragging his leg back slowly onto the mattress he sighs in disappointment, but does not allow himself to wallow in pity quite yet.

Ben breathes deep and tries to rouse something,  _ anything,  _ from the pulsing, living Force around him. The ancient island saturated by the heavy fog of its vigor.

Ben reaches, straining as hard and as far as his shattered reach can go. His soon begins to pant with the effort of it all, as though he is pushing a boulder up an endless hill, its summit just beyond his resilience.

It all but breaks him when he feels nothing but a gentle pull as what small whisps of Force he can muster, rapidly slips out of his weakening grasp. There is a single, small tinge of his once great power, before he collapses hard against the thin pillows of his bed in exhaustion.

_ Kriff _ _ it. _

Ben realizes with utter devastation, his body is still too weak to channel anything remotely strong enough to reach Rey, let alone lift a lone pebble from the ground. The Force will not do as he wishes, his control stretched like a torn muscle as tries with all his might to find even the barest traces of her bright signature.

He is stuck.

It will take time to heal this strained connection, his leap to freedom the cause of this unexpected rupture. He has pressed his limits too far, and now, he is truly alone on this rock of contrition.

"Great, this is just  karking brilliant!" Ben roars in frustration, thumping his fist hard against the cot.

" ..... I traveled across literal time and space, only to be stuck on this.  _ Kriffing _ _ island _ ! Is this just some sort of cosmic joke?”

"I know the feeling kid" Luke chuckles softly by his ear, scaring the absolute  poodoo out of Ben.

His nephew yelps and jumps sidewards in fright, the considerable momentum sending his big body tumbling off the low, narrow cot and onto the cold floor below. Ben groans loudly as he lands in heap, his tender, freshly healed ribs throbbing as the wind is knocked out of his lungs. His ankle is a burst of excruciating pain as he moves clumsily upon the rocky ground. Its fiery agony abating as he straightens his leg and shifts his weight onto his left side.

That automatic terror he feels at seeing his uncle again , quickly dissipates as a new and terrible rancor overwhelms him. That long buried  hatred and betrayal  bubbling to the surface. 

_ This is just perfect. _

There are few people Ben would begrudge spending time with more, than the ghostly figure of Luke Skywalker, his once would-be murder a figure of constantly loathing. The pain of his fall exacerbates his immediate irritation and urge to throttle his uncles stupid, inconsiderate neck.

“Oops....sorry” Luke snorts awkwardly, a sheepish look on his face as he meets Ben’s furious glare “that was not was intentional......you okay ?”

“GO. AWAY” Ben  wheezes back at him with a growl , clutching at his chest as he painfully pushes himself up into a seated position.  His movements are slow and careful as he gingerly moves his splinted leg into position, exhaling hard as it twinges but grudgingly settles as he leans against the solid frame of his bed.

Ben is sure he has gained another dozen bruises from that short tumble, his left shoulder smarting from the impact. If he hated Luke before, this latest indignity does nothing short of add fuel to the building fire.

“I don’t think you really mean that kid, I know the Lanai are not the best  of  company!”

Ben’s brow grows thunderous, a red mist of rage falling over his eyes as he clutches around the floor for anything to launch at Luke’s smirking mouth. He snarls as catches the leg of the small wooden stool and swings it toward his uncle’s blue  vaporous  form.

“I SAID , GO AWAY.”

The stool sails through the air, gliding through Luke’s abdomen like a knife in butter until it meets the stone wall of the hut in cacophony of smacking wood. The stool erupts in a hail of stone and splitting, splintered timber as it falls ineffectually to the ground, Luke completely unstirred by the  assault. The remnants of the small seat clatter to ground as Luke arches a bushy eyebrow at his frustrated and embarrassed nephew.

"Was that really necessary Ben ?"

"Shut up!" 

Ben glowers at Luke, his jaw working hard as he fights the urge to throwing something else at his uncle. He is more than a little frustrated to realize it would be utterly futile, for there is no bodily way to harm him.

He huffs loudly before turning his back on the blue form of Luke Skywalker, intent now on ignoring him instead.

There is no Universe in which he will ever listen to  _ a thing  _ that man wants to say! Given his current state of health and lack of available weapons, he can do nothing to change the situation, but slight Luke’s attempts at conversation and give him the cold shoulder.

The  childishness of  this action not lost on either of them as soon as he huffs and averts his gaze with a scowl .

“Ben....” Luke begins with a weary sigh “Ben please....you’re being really immature”.

“E Chuta!” the younger man growls back sourly, crossing his arms over his immense chest as it begins to heave and shudder despite his best attempts to remain impassive.

“Ben?” Luke tries again, walking slowly across the room to face him “Please...... I just want to talk to you.”

Ben’s  shifting  jaw clenches  harder , the muscles in his cheeks tensing  as he bites back another retort and  actively avoids Luke’s searching gaze. His anger and resentment are starting to boil over as Luke moves closer to his seething form, hands tightening into fists.

“Ben….. ” he tries again  “ …can’t we let bygones be bygones, just this once?”

His nephew glare is on him before the words even fully leave his mouth, a murderous glint in Ben’s eyes as he wishes he could crush Luke’s stupid face with his bare hands.

“Let bygones be bygones?  Have you  gone utterly  senile old man …..I would strike you down where you  stood, if you didn’t have the good fortune of  already  being dead!” he spits back, his voice halfway between and roar and a hoarse cry.

“You ruined my life you bastard.”

Ben swipes at his eyes as unexpected tears fall down his cheeks, a short sob escaping his mouth as he tries to hide his upset. His big hands quickly cover his face as he tries with all his might to stop the outpouring of emotion wracking from his chest.

But it won’t be subdued, the tears keep coming.

Ben feels ashamed to have broken so easily, all that long held anger turning into anguish as the past presses upon him.

He hates his weakness and own soft heart for caring so much after all this time.

“I know kid, I know. And I will never stop being sorry for that.”

Luke is sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him when Ben chances a look through his fingers, his Uncle’s face dour and regretful as he holds back his own tears. Luke stares at the cold stone ground as he breathes heavily, chewing on the side of his cheek as he battles with his own despair.

“What I did Ben......to you....to your mother and father.....heck, even to  Chewie ......I don’t ever expect forgiveness from you. But…....what’s done is done, I can’t take it back.”

Ben scoffs loudly as he wipes at his eyes, a sneer turning his upper lip as he speaks with such venom it makes Luke visibly wince.

“No.....you made sure of that didn’t you...... You waited until the very end to tell my mother the truth, my father, he died thinking I went willingly to Snoke......I was  _ pushed _ .....”

“I made a mistake kid, a mistake that made ripples in time I couldn’t control.” Luke responds desperately, leaning closer. Ben shakes his head, tensing his jaw as his temper refuses to calm.

“A mistake? A mistake is forgetting to return a  Holocall , a mistake is......letting a pot boil over, a mistake is not allowing a young man,  _ your own nephew _ , to become a monster......a mistake isn’t sending him down a path of darkness and hate” he growls dangerously, his thunderous brow dark and almost menacing. Luke’s blue eyes flash in anger, the hurt gone for a moment as he sees the ghost of Kylo Ren in Ben’s cold, furious eyes.

“ Kriff it Ben, I didn’t do that all on my own!” he spits back “You made that decision  _ all  _ by yourself! You killed all those people.....you became Snoke’s puppet .... _ you _ __ aligned yourself with the First Order. Perhaps you should stop fixating on me and what I did and learn to take responsibility for your own karking actions for once!”

Luke regrets his words as soon as he says them, knowing he has knocked any small progress between them back beyond any possible salvaging today. His  nephew’s face crumples as the truth hits hard.

“Ben....I...” Luke stutters in horror, instantly ashamed he has lashed out so foolishly, but to his surprise,  Ben’s aggression seems to deflate.

“I know” he says quietly “that’s the worst  karking thing about it......I know I could have stopped, if I’d had the strength to do it.”

“Or the support you needed.....” Luke offers softly, tentatively extending an olive branch to him “If I’d only had the guts to tell Leia and Han the truth. I was so blind to my own hubris, Rey saw through it immediately. We could have stopped it....”

“Yeah maybe..... But what’s done is done” Ben sighs cheerlessly, his drive to fight and propel his vindictive rage suddenly dying. And all at once, he just feels tired.

Tired and regretful.

He closes his eyes for a moment, sighing heavily as he swallows down that desperate sadness he feels in the pit of his gut. Sorrowful for all that wasted time he spent wallowing in his own self-pity, the hate, the pride, it all seems redundant now.

He should have come home sooner.

Luke raises his hand as Ben sits there dejected, his palm hovering nervously over the slumped, solid shape of his nephew’s shoulder before he loses his nerves. His hand retracts as he thinks the better of touching him.

Ben’s gaze is wary when he meets Luke’s eyes again, a scowl forming on his brow as he sits up straighter. 

But he does not demand Luke’s departure this time, his mood calmer and less inclined to shut him out.

Because he has bigger problems now.

“I can’t reach Rey Luke....” he mumbles dejectedly “I can’t....use the Force. It’s gone.”

Luke smiles back at him kindly, his voice full of understanding and encouragement as he speaks.

“It’s not gone Ben..... I can feel it bursting out of you like fireworks...... you’ve just ..... lost the signal, that’s all”

“The signal?” Ben scoffs sarcastically “I’m not a damn radio”.

“No.....but the same principles apply as though you are retuning a busted transmitter” He pauses, knowing Ben is not the least bit convinced.

“Look.... once you replace the faulty parts ....or in your case, let connections you need heal and strengthen, you can relearn which frequencies to hone into......then....you’ll find a way to reach Rey”.

“And I suppose you’re here to help me do just that” Ben grunts dismissively.

“If you’ll let me” Luke responds hopefully, his face earnest as his eyes brighten.

“And why should I?”  Ben retorts touchily, his own face darkening in mistrust “I am more than capable of doing this on my own.”

Luke chuckles lightly, fully expecting Ben’s hostility to the idea. He rises to his feet as he stares down at Ben thoughtfully.

“Well....it's true , in time you will heal without my input,  but it will be a long wait twiddling your thumbs  alone until you  find  that  right path ,  so to speak ,....” he pauses, giving Ben a pointed look “ it could take months in your current state, perhaps even years....are you really willing to wait that long to see  Rey again, to let her know where you are?”

Ben’s jaw works as he considers Luke’s statement, frustrated by the old man’s obtuse suggestions to a seemingly obvious solution.

“Why can’t you tell her yourself?” Ben  inquires with a bristling growl , that anger cresting again  as his patience wears thin  “what’s stopping  _ you _ r eaching out ? ”

“Your mother....we made a pact not to interfere.”

“You did what?” he splutters back, confusion and disgust falling over his features “why in the World would you agree __ that?”

He cannot fathom the reason his own mother would work against him like this. The cruelty of it is beyond his comprehension.

Luke at least has the decency to look  remorseful about the situation. 

“Because its what’s best…..the time here will do you good Ben.....it will give you a chance to reflect, to grow strong again without the threat of the wrong people finding you”.

Luke’s cheerful expression dims a little as his thoughts catch up with his mouth.

“Well...... Before you’re ready to fight back at least.”

There is a lull for a moment as something clicks in Ben’s head, Luke’s word permeating his troubled mind as everything starts to fall into place. 

As this alarming epiphany sinks in, he feels a heavy swooping sensation in his gut that fills him with an unanticipated dread. 

For it all makes sense now.

Even though he has been declared dead for over three years, there are those who will still search for him, to hunt for his prized scalp to the very edge of existence. 

Furthermore, Ben knows undeniably, he has a long list of enemies out there in Galaxy baying for his blood. If even one minor  antagonist catches wind to where he is, especially in this wounded state, it would spell disaster.

Because if it came to it,  Rey would  give up her life to protect him in a heartbeat.

“You mean ..... if the Republic find me?” Ben states rather than asks, already knowing the answer.

“ The  Galaxy has a long and vengeful memory kid,  you need to be battle ready if the time comes. Rey  can’t save your ass ….again".

“So.....I’m stuck here until our dyad bond is strong enough to bridge our minds again? And Rey will know nothing of this until it happens......she won’t know I’m alive”.

“If you’re strong enough to reach Rey, you’re strong enough to fight your own battles kid”.

Ben ponders it all for a moment, seeing now the mercy in their silence. For he cannot ignore the risk he poses to Rey’s safety without his powers, because if she is discovered and he cannot defend himself against the danger....it would mean the end for them both.

_ Ben must protect her. _

His mother and uncle do not take this deception lightly, but there is a sense of stilted benevolence to it. A slight flexing of control he does not like one bit. For the decision has been taken entirely out of their hands. Rey and Ben simply must accept it without argument. 

“I guess you’re right” Ben mutters grumpily, utterly dissatisfied he has been given no choice in this gut-wrenching resolution. His sense of personal agency figuratively castrated.

“But it doesn't mean I can’t hate this entire  kriffing thing.”

Luke nods with a wry smile, agreeing wholeheartedly with the unfairness of it .

“As would I Ben, as would I.”

His nephew huffs belligerently but makes no further comment. Fully intent now on sulking on the cold, stone floor as the early afternoon begins to close in around them. Luke chuckles despite himself, reaching down and offering his hand without a second thought.

“Perhaps the first step toward her, can just be getting you up off this floor Ben and into the sun, you’re no use to her lame and wane.”

Ben eyes Luke’s proffered hand with a dubious glance, silly pride preventing him from accepting his uncle’s help. He bats away Lukes hand, shifting his body awkwardly as he tries to maneuver himself carefully to his knees. This attempt, of course, proves utterly unsuccessful for his tender, half-healed ankle is too strong of a deterrent to let him endeavor long.

Luke offers his hand once more, enthusiasm intact despite Ben’s clear rejections.

“Well?”

Ben stares peevishly at Luke’s calloused open palm before sighing in defeat and reaching out to take  it. Luke’s grip is surprisingly strong as he clasps Ben’s huge hand with a big grin.

“Fine....let’s just get this over with.”

The younger man sighs in frustration, allowing himself to be pulled up with little zest. He grits his teeth against the pain, but soon finds the agony fades and calms as his uncle quickly get him to his feet, Ben’s considerable weight resting comfortably on Luke’s narrow shoulders.

“I would have suggested you put on some pants, but I’m pretty sure the Lanai have seen a hell of lot worse than your ghostly thighs.”

Ben cracks a small smile before rolling his eyes at him as his cheeks pink in slight embarrassment. They say nothing further as they  both shuffle  toward the door , intent on greeting this new and auspicious  day.

A sense of peace restored.

* * *

After four longs weeks cooped up in the palace, with nothing but her beautiful, yet demanding infant son to keep her occupied, Rey jumps at the first opportunity for a change in scenery. There have of course been many visits from well-meaning friends to bridge the rare moments of peace, but the four walls of her room seem increasingly oppressive now as the days indoors bleed into one.

She is practically giddy when she receives  Dehvasa’s suggestion early one morning. The question posed in a simple note sent directly to her chambers, nonchalantly proposing they leave the City for a few hour’s and set sail for the Lake districts tranquil beauty.

The Queen, it seems, has a rare afternoon free of duties, and with the incoming, fine Summers weather, it seems a shame to waste it indoors.

Rey’s answer is of course a resounding,  _ yes _ !

A light picnic is packed with all of Rey’s  favourite treats and a heading is chosen the far side of  Varykino’s gentle rise.

Her poor clueless handmaid Asha initially suggests they take a wet nurse with them, so Rey can enjoy some much-needed relaxation and maybe a little sweet wine. But this idea is quickly shelved when the Jedi Master immediately scowls in response, her narrowed eyes telling the well-meaning girl the answer better than any words could ever deliver.

The exhausted mother,  _ however _ , does agree to a matronly nurse maid accompanying them to the lake to be at hand and assist with any, and all diaper changes. Rey is not above relinquishing that duty by any means!

Her son seems to have a prodigious talent for filling diapers at present.

And so the plans are put into motion, all relevant parties board just after breakfast and the gleeful retinue departs just before the strike of midday.

The air is wonderfully fresh and crisp as they skim gracefully across the sparkling waters of the great lake, the blinding sun a glorious glisten of gold and silver as it follows their progress. Rey stands happily by the hind port side deck, watching the dappled shore rush by as one hand clamps firmly to the guard rail and the other wraps protectively around her son.

The babe is unusually quiet and watching her quizzically as he lies securely against her chest, his soft sling guarding him from the worst of the wind and beating sun.

“That boy is really taking this in his stride, isn’t he!” Rose remarks bemusedly as she enters the small deck, two glasses of sparkling pink lemonade carefully balanced in her small, delicate hands. She gives Rey a quick wink before folding her body lazily into one of the cushioned lounge chairs with a sigh.

“Lily is currently screaming up a storm......but Finn can deal with it for once”.

Rey chuckles lightly as she turns and walks toward a  neighboring chair with grin.

“I take it, Lily does not enjoy boats”

“It seems not, but then again, Lily doesn’t like anything at the moment!” Rose replies with a wry smile as she sips her drink slowly.

“Yesterday, she cried whenever Finn blew raspberries at her, but the day before, it was the most entertaining thing she’d ever seen!”

Rey chuckles again, carefully dropping her weight onto the chair as she rebalances her son in his sling. Laying back against the lounger she presses a kiss to his dark head, those golden-brown eyes of his, drifting closed as he settles upon the soft swell of her breast.

“Can’t say I fully relate yet” she replies with a smirk “I’m still at the stare vacantly,  eat , sleep, poop repeat stage...”

“Cherish it Rey, seriously. Once the reflux and demands for distraction  start , all bets are off”.

“Great.....” Rey drawls “.....I have a feeling my little Peanut is going to especially boisterous!”

Rose snorts, draining the last of her glass before shooting her friend a lazy, teasing grin.

“For sure.....plus, good luck catching him when he’s older.....with those long legs, it looks like he’ll be a runner.”

Rey groans in reply, knowing Rose is probably right. Her son is destined to be a rangy colt with a nose for mischief.  With her wits and Ben’s  build, he will be a force to be reckoned  with

“So yeah ….enjoy the lazy potato stage while you still can..." the other woman smirks ruefully. Rey shakes her head at her, kissing her sons head again as he sighs softly in his sleep.

“By the way, I still can’t believe you’ve not named him”

Rey chuckles lightly as she gives Rose a guilty look.

“You and the whole Galaxy Tico, it’s turned into a running joke with  Dehvasa now......she’s desperate to know, but I think she’s just aching to throw a naming party or something.”

“Well....all I can say is, you better give that sweet boy a name soon or he’ll be stuck as  _ Peanut  _ forever. And who will want to deal with that teenage angst!”

“I think that angst is coming no matter what...”Rey replies dryly, taking a sip from her drink.

“In the meantime, we get to enjoy puke, no sleep and screaming babies” Rose sighs sardonically.

“Rose.... _ sweetheart _ . Stop scaring her....” Finn admonishes with a grin, striding out onto the deck with his grumbling daughter tucked against his arm.

“Parenthood is great.....”

As if on cue Lily begins screaming again in earnest, the sudden noise making Rey jump up in surprise and waking her sleeping son. The four- week old begins to mewl in fright, counterpointing harshly to Lily’s angry wailing even as Rey tries in vain to lull him back to sleep.

“Oh yeah.....parenthood is great and we are  just  **_ crushing  _ ** it.” Finn sniggers with a look of contrition as Rose shakes her head at him.

“Give me my baby and go find the diaper bag . A little milk will settle her  ” she orders tiredly, rolling her eyes as Finn holds Lily aloft and makes obnoxiously loud fart noise at her. The baby screams louder, squirming  angrily in her father’s grip as her little fists shake in upset.

“No smiles for Daddy? Girl you are  _ killing  _ me today” Finn mutters with a good-natured grin, bending low to hand Rose the crimson-faced baby with little finesse.

“Maybe your repertoire needs to extend beyond fart noises?” Rey teases, the rocking motion of her body finally soothing her disgruntled son. He snuffles loudly before falling back to easy sleep once more.

“ Nahhhh .....she loves it, she’s just too  hangr y to smile right now.”

Rose arches her dark eyebrow at him as she shifts  her shirt down and begins to feed Lily , the infant’s incensed crying  abruptly ceasing as she latches eagerly to her mother .

“Those smiles were trapped wind Finn......most of the time she just looks confused by you”

“Lies.... they were real” he counters with a grin before pressing a fleeting kiss to his daughter’s tightly curled hair, his lips then travelling up to Rose’s forehead with soft look of affection. Rose shakes her head again before giving Finn a fond and much gentler smile.

“Fine....maybe one or two were real”

Finn grins in victory, kissing her forehead again before he rises to his feet.

“Now go and get that diaper bag before I decided you’re on the night shift tonight”.

“Yes ma’am!” Finn salutes, clicking his heels together and marching back into the shaded luxury of the main deck.

“You know....you could have just told him to get  Hela ......she’s our designated diaper changer for today” Rey says in a low voice, her tone conspiratorial. Shifting the calming baby on her breast, Rose bite back her smile.

“Yeah I could have done that, but .... he has  somehow  escaped changing the last three poopy nappies , so.... it’s only fair........ like rebalancing the Universe...”

Rey laughs, the dimples in her cheeks flashing as she shakes her head.

“One shitty diaper at a time”

“Of course!”

“Your pettiness always astounds me”.

“I know, but it gives me joy!”

The two friends giggle like teenagers, full bellied cackles bursting from them until they spy Finn ambling back with the laden changing bag , whistling tunelessly as he walks .

“What...” he says warily, looking between them in bewilderment.

“Nothing” Rey replies in a tight voice, coughing slightly as she hol ds b ack her giggles.

“Yeah....it’s nothing” Rose chokes out, biting her tongue as she gently hands the now milk drunk Lily  up  to her father.

“Sure.....” he replies  skeptically , narrowing his eyes as he looks between them.  He gently taps his daughter's back as she lightly hiccups and finally lets out the most delicate of burps. Lily gives him a slightly disgruntled look, but thankful does not cry.

“Somehow I don’t believe you guys aren’t up to something” Finn adds after beat, looking between their faces once more before shuffling to another empty lounger to tend to his daughter.

Rey snorts again as soon as his back is turned, sharing a guilty look with Rose as Finn audibly sighs at the mess his daughter has made.

“Seriously how can someone so small produce  _ so  _ much .....you’re a  sincere  wonder kid”.

Rey and Rose continue to grin, listening intently as Finn continues to complain and moan. The frustrated father eventually thunders inside with his daughter in tow, cursing his bad luck as he goes in search of a new outfit for her to wear. 

Her current attire utterly ruined.

“Sounds like he got lucky on this one” Rose smirks fiendishly, shooting Rey another amused rise of her brow.

“Poor guy”.

The friends gently chuckle, their gazes turning upward to watch the listless clouds as they drift across the easy blue of the afternoon sky. They do not speak for several minutes after that, thoughts drifting away on the wind in time with the aquatic birds that hover just behind the cruiser. The friends watch intently as those industrious scavengers carefully swoop and snatch up any unfortunate fish disoriented by the wake of their large vessel as roars across the lake. Its steady speed is starting to slow now as they draw closer to the shore.

It is Rey that eventually breaks the silence first, her face oddly serious.

“Rose....I know I’ve said it before, but I am so grateful you and Finn decided to extend your stay here. I know it’s not easy being away from home as long as you have, especially with Lily being so little....but......”

“You don’t need to thank us Rey; it’s sincere been a pleasure.” Rose interrupts with a genuine and warm smile, reaching across the short gap to cover Rey’s hand with her own.

“But what about Jannah ..... and the Stormtrooper program ....don’t you miss Endor? Three weeks is a hell of a long time to be away. ”

Rose sighs, a pensive look on her face.

“Quite frankly no, I don’t.”

“Really?”

Rose looks uncomfortable for a moment, her features twisting as something akin to guilt darkens her gaze.

“ Truthfully Rey.....this extended trip to  Naboo has only strengthened  my reticence to return. Being away from  Endor and spending all this time  with Finn,  free from  all  those  heavy  responsibilities ”

Rose pauses as her brow furrows, steadying her courage to say what she needs to say.

“It gave me the space, the realization I needed about ..... our futures. It has shown me how little I want that life there anymore. Lily has changed things and I....I want her to have a childhood free from the trauma of a terrible war her parents fought. If we stay running that program, she’ll never be free from the horrors of a regime her own father was trapped within.”

Rey face is solemn as she digests Rose’s words, troubled in some way that they are so willing to step away from it all, but she more than understands the reasons why.

Children change everything.

“What does Finn think?” she asks quietly, her tone careful and eyes curious.

“Finn....he  is less certain about it ,  _ but _ _...... _ he also fears what will happen if  we  don’t distance ourselves sooner rather than later.”

“And the  program ?”

“We’ve spoken with Captain  Fero on  Chandrila , he’s one of our more successful graduates  from  Endor . He has agreed to take over before the end of the year, once we finish training him up and Finn completes the handover.”

“And what then?” Rey’s face is blank as she makes her enquiry, already knowing , _ somehow _ , that the answer will likely involve her input.

“Finn was hoping you might let him teach a while on  Chandrila .....”

“Jannah too?”

Rose’s hopeful smile broadens, a knowing look in those dark brown eyes.

“Only if she doesn’t have to deal with  Vala anymore, Jannah said she still hasn’t forgiven you yet for that one.”

Rey snorts gently, a warm feeling of delight and excitement filling her chest at the thought of them all being together again.

“No deal, Vala is hers now.......and as for Finn.....I would be honored to teach alongside him.”

Rose beams, her perfect white flashing as she squeezes Rey’s hand happily.

“Good, I’m glad.”

The friends smile at one another as this new plan and gleeful sense of possibility hangs over them now. It’s all too much to think it will all be reality in a few short months.

“Do you know when you’ll be going home?” Rose says almost too casually, as though already testing the reliability of Rey’s good intentions. For there is a sneaking suspicion within her, far behind the enthusiasm for their new venture on  Chandrila , that Rey’s heart is already being pulled elsewhere. The beauty of Naboo and senses of history she now holds here, luring Rey away from the life she once built and strived to live.

Her priorities and desires shifting now, as Rose’s have done too.

The other woman pauses, the word  _ home  _ doing something odd to her  heart  for a moment. Does  Chandrila still feel like home to her?

Did it ever?

Rey opens her mouth to answer, the truth forming on her tongue, when  Dehvasa’s rich and booming voice interrupts the interlude. Her bejeweled form waves from the main deck with an impatient twist of her hand as she tries to get her attention.

“We have arrived dear cousin, it is time to disembark.”

It is only then, Rey realizes the cruiser has stopped, the shore glaring close now as the vessel rest in shallower waters. There is a small, wooden dock stationed to the middle of the cruiser and a simple gangway has already been dropped to the simple moorage.

There are people starting to gather by the deck as members of the crew and royal household begin to stream onto the shore.

“Right” Rey mutters sheepishly, looking up at the retreating Queen with slight embarrassed.

“We will be just a moment.”

Dehvasa shrugs before joining her brother in the throng.

Rose sighs heavily as she reluctantly rises from the comfort of the sun lounger, blatantly disappointed to be leaving their peaceful, private spot in order to awkwardly mingle with Nabooean nobles.

“I am about as enthused about this as you  are, but ....at least the food will be good” Rey offers drolly, carefully rising to her feet and somehow managing to avoid disturbing her dozing son.

“It better be the best picnic I have ever been on” Rose grumbles as she begins to move inside the cruiser and toward to the gangway. Rey chuckles as she follows in close step, about to retort and add another mirthful comment when something in the middle distance stops her.

There is a house not too far from the dock, a sun-bleached cottage by the lake that stokes something deep within Rey’s consciousness. 

_ She knows this place. _

“Rey” Rose begins with trepidation as she takes in her pale cheeks and wide eyes “Rey.... are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Rey looks at her aghast for a moment before shaking herself free from the shock. She schools her features into a more neutral expression.

“Yeah....I’m fine. I thought I’d forgotten something at the Palace.....but I was mistaken.”

Rose can sense the lie falling from her tongue, but she does not press.

“Okay then....well....let’s get this over with.” she sighs unhappily, walking out onto the gangway as Finn waves eagerly from the tiny marina.

Rey pauses a moment longer, before following suit and walking into the unknown.

* * *

There were days when Luke utterly regrets volunteering to help Ben, for his nephew is brash, uncompromising and completely foolhardy.

Today above all, Luke laments his decision more than others.

Because the damn idiot had taken it upon himself, his ankle still encased in its delicate, vital splint, to climb to the Jedi temple at the top of the island.

_ In the heavy rain. _

“Ben.... _ Gods _ ....in what  _ known  _ Universe, did you think it was wise to hike up the island on one leg”

“Technically it’s one leg, and one very fetching half leg” Ben snaps bac,k as he shuffles his less than stable gait forward into the cavernous temple.

“Plus ..... a very suitable and stable crutch  it seems” Luke remarks sardonically, eyeing the thin, weedy piece of driftwood Ben has chosen with a slight look of derision.

Ben responds with a sneer and withering glare.

“It was the best I could find on short notice”

Luke arches a grizzled brow at him before rolling his eyes in defeat. Ben always was a stubborn one.

“What are you even doing up here? The Lanai still have you on bed rest.”

“I was bored” Ben shoots back, ambling further into the cave “What’s more, I am perfectly fine! My ankle barely hurts.”

“Yeah right” Luke retorts “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over!”

Ben scoffs dismissively, moving past his uncle as he takes in the bare, rocky space. His curious eyes cataloguing the dark stone without comment. His wandering gaze eventually fixes on the two-tone mosaic in the  centre of the temple, his brow furrowing in concentration as he studies the image carefully.

After a moment of silence, his interest sated, Ben lets out a long and loud sigh.

“So. ..... this is the renowned temple of the Grey Jedi.....I’m not going to lie....I was expecting more.”

“Appearance isn’t everything kid”.

Giving the old Master a once over, Ben smirks mockingly as he mutters.

“Clearly not”.

Luke ignores him, walking to the large, open mouth of the cave, as the last whimpers of a threatening storm lashes the outcrop over the sea. Ben struggles closer but stops just short of joining Luke out there on the slippery crag. His balance not what it once was, given the current circumstances.

Luke stares out at the tumultuous seas below, watching as the white capped waves crash hard against the relentless rock. The waters batter, boom and shake the shore, but the island holds steady in the face of this onslaught.

“You want to try reach her, don’t you?” Luke murmurs quietly, so low that Ben almost doesn't catch it over the intrusive din.

“That’s why you made that stupid climb..... Because you thought being here would help your chances of finding Rey”.

“I had hoped” Ben answers honestly, his voice gentler and more honest than Luke expects. His nephew’s face is open and expectant when Luke comes to face him again.

He hesitates as he mulls over the proposal with serious thought. Luke carefully takes in the other man’s pale, draw face and slightly hunched posture as he tries to ignore the obvious ache in his ankle. 

And Luke knows now, unequivocally, Ben is still too weak.

“I don’t think....” he begins regretfully, eyes downcast before Ben interrupts him.

“No! Don’t say it. Don’t say I can’t take it” Ben whispers desperately, anger brewing in his eyes “I....am....fine”

“Ben....”

“I am fine Luke” he grinds out mulishly. His uncle shakes his head, fully aware it is wrong to indulge this madness any longer.

Luke starts to walk away, determined not to be drawn into this foolish endeavor.

“It’s been three weeks Luke, three weeks and nothing has changed.” Ben exhales despairingly “I can’t take it anymore; I can’t sit on my ass and just wait. I....need to try.”

Luke opens his mouth to object, those words of rejection never forming on his tongue even as he senses in his heart, he must refuse him.

“ ....What would you have me do?” Ben says with rush of heated frustration “ ..... I won’t know my limits until I test them”.

“Your body is still too frail, the Force...... you will not be able to control it.....”

“My power is coming back ..... I know it is” Ben huffs back, clenching his fist as he beats it against his chest “I can feel it, like a fire in the pit of my stomach”

“Lifting pebbles and a few unfortunate Porgs, does not mean you’re ready for this Ben.”

“No.....but this does...” Ben replies with a resolute tone, his hand outstretching as the air around him starts to vibrate. The Force surging through him like electricity.

There is a deep rumble outside the cave, followed by a scrapping, cracking sound as the large boulder that rests at the end of the cliff, rises from its perch. The solid mass of granite floats outward as though it were a feather caught on the breeze, spinning slightly as Ben twists his hand.

“See....” he huffs victoriously, giving Luke a smug look “ ....tell me I’m not ready”.

However, Ben’s strength quickly fades, control slipping.

Releasing it unexpectedly, the boulder cracks and splits in two as it lands hard against the bedrock. Each fractured side slides unceremonious across the perilous cliff, tumbling off the side and sailing into the waiting water far below.

Ben winces as he watches it happen, more than a little embarrassed by his glaring mistake.

“Oops...”

“Thanks Ben ..... that was my favorite spot” Luke rebukes sarcastically, not one bit pleased the foolish oaf destroyed the best view in the entire island. Ben lowers his hand sheepishly, muttering a half-hearted apology.

Luke shakes his head at him before snorting despite his annoyance.

“Dunderhead ..... just like your father”.

Ben shrugs, feeling awkward  all of a sudden . He kicks at the ground as best he can as he tries to recover from this glaring misstep.

“I’m ready Luke ..... _ please _ ” he murmurs softly, raising his melancholy eyes in one last pleading of support.

Luke sighs heavily, knowing his nephew will not give up.

“Fine.....but only if you promise not to destroy anything  else I like...” he replies with a teasing smile, his hand extended. Ben beams at him, relief flooding his body as he lets out a short laugh of disbelief and grips his uncle’s hand.

“Deal”.

* * *

It’s as though the cottage is calling to her and Rey can’t seem to get it out of her head, this strange pull it has over her.

It ruins her focus, confuses her thoughts until all she can think of is striding down the beach and yanking ope n its faded red door to quench this unstable curiosity.

There is something familiar about this place, something undefined and hazy around the edge as though not fully formed. Rey can’t get it out of her head, this niggling notion, this intrusive thought that occupies her mind all the way through lunch.

_ She has been here before. _

Rey smiles and adds her own easy banter to the conversation when necessary, but her eyes never fully leave that sweet cottage by the shore. 

Even her  favourite sweet buns cannot deflect this newfound obsession, the taste of their honey glaze reduced to mere dust as she chews on them mechanically with her black tea.

For consciousness is occupied by that small, white house and nothing more.

As she sits and stares into that middle distance, others start to take note.

“Does the Lady wish to take a turn along the shore? I will keep an eye on your sweet boy if you need a moment alone.”

Rey turns to look at the kindly, lined face of Hela, her temporary nanny for the day, as she considers the proposal. Debating internally if she can stand to leave him, even for a few moments, under the relative safety of the shaded canopy. Rey has not been parted from her son for more than a minute since he was born, to think of leaving without her watchful eye to guard, it burns her up with guilt.

Rationally she knows he will be fine, for there are many other, dependable eyes to keep him well out of harm's way. Finn is stationed close to the farthest edge of the marquee, chatting politely to Caen as his keen eyes flit back and forth between Rose and Rey’s troubled face. Rose is dozing lightly beside the small travel bassinet, Lily resting on her chest as they lie lazily amid the scatter of cushions  Dehvasa’s entourage have provided.

Even the slightest sound or shudder breathe from her Peanut will rouse Rose in a moment.

“Ma’am?” Hela repeats with an open, expectant look “Do you wish to go?”

Pausing a moment longer, Rey nods slowly in defeat. That obsessive need to understand this fog that has descend upon her, the final decisive factor.

“Then I will take good care of him.” Hela smile happily.

“Thank you” 

Rey’s voice is surprising hoarse and meek as she replies, rising to her feet and toward the sun baked shoreline without another word.

She hesitates for a moment as she st ands at the edge of the colorful marque, feeling conscience- stricken once more to be parting from her son. Looking back towards the bassinet, the is greeted by the warm smile of Hela as she sits watches over the sleeping baby.

Rey knows he is perfectly safe and will be perfectly safe without her for a few minutes, but it aches her to allow any relinquishment responsibility, even for one moment.

Her gaze drifts back to the cottage, her heart leaping unexpectedly as a warmth spreads through her chest. The decision is made.

_ She will go _ .

Dehvasa watches with interest as Rey starts to walk away from the main party and meander down the shoreline without a single backward glance, the Queen’s sharp gaze lighting up with intrigue. She catches Finn’s puzzled expression as he rises from his relaxed repose beside Caen and frowns at Rey’s unexpected departure.

“Odd isn’t it” she intones with a smirk, giving Finn a loaded look “One would almost think Master Skywalker looks,  _ troubled _ ”.

Finn’s confusion slowly morphs into a concern ed frown, conscious just how distracted Rey had seemed as soon as they had reached the shore.

“Indeed, your majesty” he replies with little inflection, already starting to stand and get a better view of departing friend. His dark gaze flits between Rose and his daughter, darting for a moment to the sleeping infant in the low bassinet and then to Rey’s rapidly retreating figure, the wheels of his mind turning.

He decides to follow her.

As  he moves to the edge of the marque, the Queen’s voice suddenly halts him.

“Perhaps young Master, I could accompany you? I feel sudden the need to stretch my legs ”.

Turning back to the titian haired Queen, Finn manages to hide his immediate  displeasure  at t he request.

“It would be an honor your majesty” he replies with a low bow, already internally lamenting the interference.

The Queen is soon on her feet, looking at him expectantly until he offers her his arm half-heartedly.

With a smug smile, she slips her hand through the gap and gestures flippantly to her  ever-eager bodyguards to stand down.

“Shall we get moving your Majesty?” Finn mutters with little  enthusiasm .

Utterly unhappy he is now stuck with her company as  Dehvasa nods with a cocky smirk.

“Lead the way young Master”.

* * *

The evening is clear and dry as dusk starts to fall over  Ahch -To, for the last of the storm’s deluge has long since departed to southern isles. The island seems quiet now as the sun starts to dip low behind the far horizon, as even the seas are calm and still. 

The sound of evening bird song is the only noise to break the dull silence, as drifts pleasantly into the temple where Ben and Luke sit cross-legged in meditation. 

Their faces are set in concentration as they sit direct opposite one another, their poses mirrored and relaxed.

However, enlightenment is still a far journey away.

“This isn’t working” Ben growls through gritted teeth, glowering angrily at Luke despite his own shut eyes. His irritation is growing now as time passes and no progress is made.

“Ben.....as I told the last three times you complained, you need to clear your mind” Luke sighs tiredly, his face remaining impassive despite his own rising exasperation.

“If you can still bitch and moan, you’re not doing it right”.

Ben huffs loudly but does not level anymore grievances at his uncle. His adjusts his position and tries in vain to get somewhat comfortable.

“Fine” he mutters unhappily before taking a deep breath and trying to free himself of all the aggravation that weighs him down.

He pushes everything but Rey’s face from his minds eyes and listen to the gentle call of the sea birds as they sing and chatter.

Ben keeps breathing, focusing on some unknown spot of light in his mind until everything else seems to slip away. In that single breath, he does not feel the persistent pain of knitting bones in his ankle, the tension he holds in his back and shoulders or the constant feeling of foiled efforts, his current life has become.

He lets it all go.

“That’s  it Ben....let it all fade. Let the Force fill every void.”

Ben feels that great energy he once lost surround him like a blanket, invigorating every nerve and muscle  fibre as though he is set alight. 

And then, as the current grows, Ben begins to reach.

* * *

The closer Rey draws to that summoning cottage, the faster her breathing seems to get. Because the further she moves down the shallow, surprisingly sandy shore, the more real this long-forgotten daydream seems to become. That sense of familiarity growing into unexpected certainty.

_ It all clicks into place; it all makes sense now. _

Looking across the depthless, placid waters of the lake to her right as she reaches the overgrown path in front of the cottage, Rey almost sobs as she recognizes the view. The angle and aspect at which she stands, confirming every little irksome feeling she’d had since the moment she’d spotted it.

_ It’s their cottage, the one from her dreams. _

The home in which they were supposed to raise their children together.

_ It’s real. _

It breaks her heart to know, none of those imaginings and wants from her lonely childhood,  had ever been a fool’s empty dream. For in a different time or in a different life, she and Ben would have looked upon this lake and lived blissfully happy upon its shore.

Turning back towards the cheery little house, Rey smiles even as her eyes grow glassy. As relieved to find it, neglected as it is in this farthest corner of the Lake district, as she is heartbroken to know Ben will never stand here with her.

That lovely vision of the future, she had wished for with all her heart.

It will never come true.

Swiping at her eyes, Rey walks the final few yards to the door as her chest aches with bittersweet happiness. Determined to make the best of this unexpected  blessing  with all the hope  she has left.

She notes the sturdy, wooden door and wide glass windows that look out upon the view, each pane now caked with dust and age. Shifting the weeds with her foot, she sees signs of a once pretty garden and vegetable patch hidden below.

This place had been loved  once; it had been a cherished home.

It feels her with a renewed urge to look inside, to allow the cottage to feel admired once more.

Rey reaches for the door and gently starts to pull away the stubborn vines of ivy and silt that covers its once cheery, red paint. She quickly frees the latch and handle as her hand pauses just short of opening it.

Feeling a flash of unease,  all of a sudden .

Hearing the approaching, measured steps of  Dehvasa and Finn, her hand falls to her side once more. Her head turns slowly to face them, not caring one bit that her eyes are puffy and red rimmed from crying.

Her cousin smiles at her with surprising warmth as they move closer, her violet eyes soft and almost affectionate. Reaching into her light cloak, the Queen pulls out a small drawstring bag and holds it aloft.

“Much as I know a locked door is no match for a Jedi’s will, I hope perhaps, you will indulge me in using  _ the key _ just this once.”

Rey blinks back at her in confusion but takes the extended bag with a muted nod. Meeting Finn’s dark brown eyes, she sees a glint of excitement there as he looks back at her with a guarded smile.

It is clear there is a shared game afoot between the two unlikely cohorts, a knowing look passing between them. Rey frowns as she ponders this strange alliance, confounded how their frosty relationship had abruptly thawed so quickly.

“Well.....are we going in or not?”  Dehvasa asks with a smirk as she gestures to the door. Rey’s lips purse as she studies her wily cousin once more, her desire to see inside the cottage ultimately winning out over her suspicion.

Removing the surprising heavy, silver key from its leather bag, Rey’s breath hitches a little as the key slips into the hole without much trouble or effort. The rust-stained lock clicks pleasant as she turns the key and the old wooden door cracks open with a creak.

It smells slightly musty as Rey steps inside, the air stale and thick from many years of limited ventilation. The once bright white interior paint is faded to grey and yellowing in places, yet the cottage seems mercifully free of damp and  mould as Rey  walks through to the empty, silent living room.

There is nothing to be found inside, save some crushed boxes and a broken beyond repair holopad.

As Rey’s eyes trace the room for the first time, she notices there are deep grooves in the dusty wooden floor, marking the placement of once present furniture, now long-since removed. In the middle of the room, there is a slight discoloration in the oak that forms the shape of a mid-sized round table and four identical chairs. Other small dents and stains show the position of a wide and well-used couch, while final faded section displays placement of two armchairs that had rested by the large, once clear window. The chairs doubt set there to allow the occupant to catch the ever-glorious lake side view and morning sun that would bask the cottage in golden light.

How idyllic it must have been.

Turning her attention to the opposite wall, Rey notes there are two narrow doors either side of the central hearth. Leading no doubt to the cottage’s only bedrooms. As she opens the door to each room in turn, she smiles how sweet and cozy they seem. Despite their relatively small size and how empty they seem without beds, the light is exceptional as it streams in the wide, south facing windows. 

On clear night out here, with the curtains open and the lights dimmer low, the aspect would provide an unlimited view of the stars and galaxy, perfect for telling stories and whispering words of love and affection.

Rey smiles to herself and slowly closes the door with a happy hum.

Moving back into the main living room, Rey begins to gleefully explore further. 

She finds another set of simple doors on the far side of the bedrooms, these final rooms nothing more than a simple kitchen and rustic fresher. On closer inspection, the fitting and electronics of both look at least fifty years out of date.

Not that this matters much to Rey, for she has seen families subsist with much less and live very fine lives.

Rey smiles as she tries to imagine it in better days, this small and cozy family home.

There had been real love here once, the warmth and happiness of its previous owners still lingers in the brickwork. Their ghost singing from the walls and welcoming her beneath the grime and dirt that hide its beauty.

But she feels it still, how pleased they are to have her here.

Knowing, in some trivial and small way, Rey always did have a soft spot for forgotten, broken things.

“You know....with a little time and a lot of effort, I believe this place would make a lovely home, don’t you think Master Skywalker?”  Dehvasa says cheerily, watching Rey’s wonder filled face as it catalogues every inch of the cottage. The younger woman nods emphatically as she traverses the living room once more, debating unconsciously if she is ready to move onwards from this enchanting and strangely serene place.

“How long has it been empty?” Rey asks with genuine interest, finally raising her gaze to look at the Queen at the opposite end of the room. Finn is still hovering outside, his eyes fixed on their small encampment a few hundred  metres away like a steadfast sentinel.

No doubt keen to verify everything is how he left it.

Rey is glad of it, for it lets her relax and enjoy this time at ease in the cottage knowing he is keeping watch.

Dehvasa frowns as she tries to remember, her full burgundy lips narrowing in concentration.

“I believe....fifteen years perhaps. The previous owners died relatively young unfortunately.”

“That is a shame” Rey murmurs back dreamily, her attention drifting again to the pleasant proportions of the room. Her mind quietly takes stock once more of the little clues that speak of the lives that occupied this space long ago.

Rey notes above the large, rustic fireplace, there is a perfect rectangular shadow where once a picture proudly hung, the nail it used still embedded at an angle in the wall.

“And who owns it now?” Rey asks without thinking, too distracted by something that catches her eye in the farthest corner of room to register  Dehvasa’s answer. For tucked away, behind the old junk piled against the back wall, there is a flat, rectangular shape draped in an old bed sheet. 

Rey feels giddy when she realizes what it is, certain it is the missing picture from the fireplace before she even consciously decides to retrieve it. The picture is surprisingly heavy as she lifts it from the floor, its frame no doubt made from the finest woods judging by the smooth finish Rey feels as she begins to unwrap the bedsheet.

Its cover is dry and dusty against her fingers, the years of abandonment taking its toll on the once soft and luxuriant cotton.

Unravelling the final ream of material, Rey finds the revealed picture is beautiful portrait of a young man. The subject is no older than twenty-five years of age, his face set in a mischievous expression that makes Rey chuckle.

For whoever he was, he must have been a rogue.

Turning the frame over, Rey finds the name  _ Adhamh _ _ Mag  _ _ Aoidh _ __ written in simple script on the upper left hand side of the wood.

“Well hello  Adhamh ....it’s nice to meet you” Rey mutters warmly as she turns the picture back over and studies his face. She almost jumps out of her skin when she looks up and see’s  Dehvasa standing right in front of her.

“I see you’ve found your Grandfather.....he was quite the handsome boy”.

Rey almost drops the picture as she blinks back at  Dehvasa rapidly, not quite believing her ears.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that.....”

Dehvasa smirks back at her.

“That picture you’re holding, that’s your mother’s father  Adhamh ”.

Reaching down into the mess of cotton, the Queen wrestles a second, smaller picture out of the sheet Rey held. A picture she had somehow missed.

Handing it to Rey,  Dehvasa’s smirk dissolves into a smile as Rey’s eyes grow wide and disbelieving.

“This.....this.... is  Sabé and..and....” she begins to splutter.

“.....And Adhamh on their wedding day. And this cottage.....this is where they lived with their children, Rachel and your mother, Kira”.

Rey exhales heavily, searching  Dehvasa’s face for any trace of a lie. She finds none and it is then her heart begins to hope. 

Rey looks down at the picture of that young man once more with fresh, unclouded eyes, seeing perhaps for the first time, the deep dimples in his cheeks she too shares.

Looking at the smaller photo, she sees the wide, beaming smile of big white teeth he flashes in his wedding photo, the same smile she has worn her entire life.

And then as she digests this new and wonderful revelation, another piece of the puzzle that forms her once lost family, snaps into place.

Another branch forming in her bloodline that adds a new and welcome depth to her once empty history.

“You really weren’t listening when I answered your question a moment ago, were you Rey?”  Dehvasa teases as she covers Rey’s arm with her hand. Her cousin stares up at her in shock, too awed to even form a response.

“You asked me who owns this cottage now.....well my young cousin, technically you do, if wish to claim it.”

There is little pause between  Dehvasa’s final words before Rey is surging forward and capturing the startled Queen in her arms. Hugging her on instinct as she exclaims in breathless, ecstatic excitement.

“Yes.....a thousand times, yes.”

Dehvasa chuckles as she wraps her arms around Rey in an uncharacteristically maternal gesture and squeezes back hard.

“Then you shall have it....we will draw up the papers tomorrow”.

Releasing  Dehvasa after a long moment, Rey laughs as happy tears stream down her face. She looks down at the portrait of her young grandfather with an unreadable expression, sighing softly before walking to the open hearth and returning his picture back to its pride of place.

Just as it should be.

She opens her mouth to thank Dehvasa, but as she turns back to the Queen, Finn’s stormy face abruptly peeks in the door.

“Funs over Skywalker, I can hear your son screaming blue murder from here” he says dryly, shooting Rey a sympathetic look.

“And your Peanut does not sound happy!”

“He probably wants to be fed....again!” Rey sighs in resignation, giving the cottage a once over before stepping toward the door.  Dehvasa quickly locks the handle behind them, handing Rey the key without another word, a quick, amiable wink the only indication she registers the importance of this moment.

Rey smiles to herself as she pockets the heavy, silver key, pausing by the door of her new home for a moment to bask in the tender glow of the afternoon sun.

“ _ Thank you _ ” she mumbles to the ancestors she will never meet; their returning answer carried in the soft tickle of the wind on her face.

Rey’s peace is quickly lost as her sons angry, insistent cry carries down the small beach. There is no doubt he wants to feed immediately from the sound of things.

Jogging slightly, Rey quickly falls into step with Finn as he lags slightly behind the Queen, hanging back in some strange attempt at decorum and protocol.

Rey follows suit, not caring enough to rebel against the silliness of it.

A thought strikes her as she trundles down the shore in silence beside him, the sparking of an idea taking root.

A certain rightness to it now as she mulls it over in her mind.

“Finn.....I think I’ve found a name for him.”

“ Hmmmm ....what?” Finn replies lazily as looks at Rey blankly. He had clearly not been expecting her to speak, too focused on his own ponderings to notice her sudden  candour .

“Peanut......the baby....I think I finally know what to call him.....” Rey repeats happily, pausing her friend in his tracks as she beams. The  turmoil she had once felt over this decision lift as she says his name for the first time.

“It’s  Adhamh .....my son’s name is  Adhamh ”

Finn raises a quizzical eyebrow at her for a moment in surprise before breaking out in a smile of his own as the two syllables wash over him.

“ _ Adhamh _ .....I like it”.

Rey is practically glowing as they begin to walk again, her eyes so bright, and more full of life than he has seen in many moons.

“So do I” she gushes “So do I".

* * *

Ben can feel warm sunlight on his face, sunlight much stronger and hotter than the rays he had become accustomed to on  Ahch -To. Pressing harder he hears the sound of gently lapping water by his feet, the feel of sand beneath his boots. Soft and thick as his soles sink through the wet grains.

Breathing deep, he smells pine and cypress on the wind. There is soft undertone of fresh flowers and the unmistakable scent of ripening fruit that fills his nose.

It smells.....like his childhood.

_ Naboo _ _ , it smells like  _ _ Naboo _ _. _

Is this where she is? Is this where Rey has settled?

Ben can feel Luke in his mind, cautioning him against pushing too hard, too soon. His control is still not what it needs to be.

But Ben takes no heed, for he beginning to see beyond the ether. There is a light in the darkness of his mind, illuminating a path toward her as  colors swirl around him and take shape.

_ “Ben....don’t do this, you’re not ready.” _

He is not listening as he pushes Luke’s voice and influence out of his mind, all common sense abandoned as he focuses on the sharpening image in front of him. Ben steps as best as he can toward the forming figure of a young woman, his ankle strangely giving him no trouble as he moves. His constant limp is all but absent as he walks faster. Almost running to that emerging figure.

He shudders to a halt as the image suddenly draws closer, landing just in front of his feet.

Ben’s heart thunders hard in his chest as his eyes trace the familiar planes of the woman’s back and shoulders, the hard lines of wiry muscle hidden beneath a simple, cream dress she wears.

_ His Rey. _

Ben cannot see anything in her surroundings, save for a plump, heavily embroidered cushion set under her backside. It is her sole source of comfort as she sits lazily facing toward, what he presumes, is the Great Lake of Naboo. He can see small patches of hard grass just under the cushion, the blades browned and slightly brittle as they shift beneath her. The Summer sun and long dry season is in full force it seems.

There is a slight ambient noise around her as he inches closer, telling him wherever she is, she is not alone.

Rey’s long, chestnut hair is plaited loosely down the  centre of her spine as it sways gently in the breeze. Loose curls by her temples catch in the wind as she sighs contentedly, her head tilting downward.

Ben is mesmerized by it for a moment, unable to register anything but those wisps of flyaway curls as they glisten copper in the late afternoon sun.

His chest clenches as he hears Rey begin to sing softly, her voice sweet and melodious as she rocks slowly side to side, holding something small and precious to her chest.

“ _ Mirrorbright _ _ , shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember _

_ When the moon is  _ _ mirrorbright _ _ , take this time to remember _ ”

Ben doesn’t know whether he should whoop with joy or cry as his mother’s song rings out across the wide expanse of space, the distance between them is only fingertips as he moves ever closer to her.

“ _ Those you have loved but are gone _

_ Those who kept you so safe and warm _

_ The  _ _ mirrorbright _ _ moon lets you see _

_ Those who have ceased to be _ ”

Ben tries to raise his voice, to tell Rey he is there with her. Watching and waiting until she turns to him and sees, what he doesn’t have the strength to say.

_He lives, but he is trapped so very far away._

Emotion clogs his throat as he begins to silently weep, so happy to have found her after all this uncertainty and pain.

But Rey does not turn, does not notice his presence, or even sense the barest whisper of this manifestation through the Force. 

She is too taken up with the hidden bundle she holds in her arms, her gaze firmly downward.

Ben reaches forward, his trembling hand hovering just short of her bare shoulder as he rouses the courage to reach out and touch her. But the moment never comes, for his ears register another alien sound below Rey’s airy lullaby.

There is low grunting noise, followed by a small high pitch squeak and hiccup, that startles both Ben and Rey.

“ Oh my  my , that was a big one  Cyar’ika ” Rey murmurs tenderly, pressing her face to the small creature that continues to mewl and hiccup softly in her arms.

“I think you drank a bit too much for your little tummy”

It takes Ben longer than it should to realize the small being she holds is a baby, his mind in disarray as he watches Rey shift and settle the infant by her shoulder. Tapping its delicate back as the dark-haired child twists and turns against her dress. 

“Come on Adhamh, I know you have a burp in there for me” she teases, rubbing the baby boy’s back before she begins to tap again in earnest. Ben’s breath stutters as the child’s golden-brown eyes seem to fix on his position, staring almost through him before the little baby’s face twists as he begins to cry in protest.

“Oh dear little one” Rey croons, kissing the back of the baby’s curly head “Momma knows it’s a hard life being this handsome.”

_ Momma? _

Ben’s blood runs cold as the word pierces his heart. A horror coming over him so profound, he cannot comprehend it for a moment.

Rey is a mother!

Perhaps a wife too to this boy’s lucky father.

Something crackles in the air between them, pulsing in the Force like electrical current as he feels his heart shatter to pieces. Bereft to see her so content and fulfilled with the young child of another.

Ben’s watches numbly as Rey’s shoulders tense, her back straightening like a rod as her breath seems to falter. She senses now a great the disturbance in the Force, a deep well of pain and grief. Yet she does not recognize his signature amongst it as she grips her baby tighter. Her protective instincts immediately kicking in.

Rey is too disbelieving to even consider he is anything but a threat.

To her panicked mind, Ben is just another lingering spectre of darkness.

“Whoever you are ..... I want you to leave now” Rey whispers dangerously, her voice low but menacing as she lays her son gently down and away from harm. Her fingers reach for the concealed sabre on her thigh, slipping the weapon free and into her hand as her back tenses further.

“Go now, and no harm will come to you.”

Ben’s jaw works shakily as he tries to form words, his head  too overcome to coordinate his mouth and respond beyond harsh, uneven breathes.

Rey head cocks to the side as she half-turns toward him, listening warily to his pitiful, frustrated growls. But there is curiosity there too, as though some part of her perceives who he truly is.

Ben is stood too far in her blind spot for Rey to see him, but she knows he is watching.

Her paranoia grows the longer the silence stretches, and he makes no move to leave or speak. Her body begins to twist around as she readies herself to face her unknown observer, prepared as ever to strike or defend against any attack.

Ben’s guts drop in anticipation as her limbs start to shift, yet time is not on their side.

He gasps in horror as the image starts to dim, that faint imitation of their bond slipping from his grasp as his strength wanes. He has been holding on too long.

Rey’s lovely form is fading from his gaze, the distance growing between as the seconds tick by.

“No” he whimpers reaching out, catching nothing but dust where once she had sat only finger lengths away. 

_ “Ben don’t do it”  _ Luke warns again, his guiding aura returned as Ben’s control slips further.

But Ben ignores his scolding uncle, pulling harder as he tries foolishly to follow the dying light. Chasing its warmth, even as he begins to feel lightheaded, his legs turning jelly as he fights against the return to  Ahch -To.

He cannot give  up, he  must see Rey again.

Ben keeps running, he keeps reaching, until the darkness swallows him whole.

* * *

It takes Rey more than a few seconds to realize Finn is shouting her name. Her senses still on high alert as his calls fall on deaf ears, for she is too unnerved to absorb anything, save her own thundering heart as that strange trick of the light dissipates.

The outline of a hulking figure is nothing more than shadow in her eye line as she blinks rapidly at the empty space in front of her. That half-formed shape disappearing between the flutters of her eyelashes as she tries to catch her breath.

There is nothing but the peaceful lake shore to greet her as her shock subsides.

_ Perhaps she had imagined it all. _

Yet there is a lingering energy that surrounds the beach like a cloud of smoke, a distinct flux in the balance that raises the hair on her arm. 

She feels as though that unknown  spectre is still with her now, for her skin dimples in goose flesh as though those ghostly fingers had raked up her spine.

It throws Rey off axis.

Like she has missed something vital.

“Rey....” Finn bellows again “... Dehvasa says we need to leave. There’s a huge thunderstorm headed our way! Forecast is saying, flash flooding, power outages, the works ....we need to go”.

Rey shudders as her attention snaps back to her approaching friend, the wriggling and quiet fussing of Adhamh further coaxing her to reality. He looks up at her with bleary, unhappy eyes, dissatisfied to be lain on that rough, uncomfortable thatch of marsh grass she had left him. A mewling cry leaves his little mouth as it all becomes too much. 

Rey immediately drops the lax sabre from her right hand and reaches down to retrieve her baby with a start, sheepish she had forgotten he was there.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, Momma is sorry” she whispers as her son continues to cry unhappily.

Walking closer, Finn eyes her curiously as he notes the abandoned sabre by her side and slightly flushed color on her cheeks. Her expression is blank and almost  stupefied, as though her mind were engrossed in some startling problem.

“Rey...are you okay?” he asks carefully, crouching down low to face her as his hand squeezes her shoulder. Rey gulps before nodding emphatically, her gaze vacant as she  chews upon her bottom lip.

“I’m fine.....” she mutters with a watery smile “My mind is just.....preoccupied.”

Adjusting the baby on her chest, a flash of unease twists her feature. Rey sighs as she seems to shake herself free from the grip of this disquiet.

“Today..... has been a lot” she adds with a muted smile. Finn squeezes her shoulder again, a look of warm understanding in his dark brown eyes.

“I know......”

They stare at one another a moment longer before another familiar voice interrupts the interlude.

“Guys the storm.....I can see it over the next ridge” Rose squeals excitedly “I LOVE THUNDERSTORMS”.

Finn chuckles before turning and rising to his feet, gaze drawn to the darkening horizon a few miles away.

“I think my girlfriend has lost  it” he remarks with a bemused smirk as Rose points at the steely clouds with enthusiasm.

“Who else would be  _ this  _ thrilled by imminent danger?”

Rey grins, taking his extended hand as he helps her to her feet. She maneuvers Adhamh back into his sling as some of the embarking group start to wave at them insistently. Keen to leave the lakeside for the safety of  Theed as soon as possible.

“I can’t say I’m not guilty of it too... . ” she replies coyly, entirely cognizant of her own recklessness at times.

“I do have a history of playing with fire.”

Throwing an arm around her as they begin to join the departing royal family, Finn snorts in agreement.

“You and Rose.....are two very feckless peas, in a very dangerous pod”.

Rey grins playfully back at him before laying her head against his shoulder as they amble on.

“Guilty as charged my friend,  guilty as charged”.

* * *

Ben feels like he’s going to throw up, his stomach roiling as his senses start to come back to him.

“Well … ....that was entirely  kriffing stupid, wasn’t it” Luke admonishes with a scowl, his lined, greying face the first thing Ben sees when he finally opens his eyes. His body is sprawled out haphazardly across the floor of the Jedi Temple, his entire back aching where he’d fallen after fainting.

Ben groans as he rolls over to his side, his head is splitting with pain as Luke continues to berate him crankily. Ben is certain he had hit his head when he’d keeled over, his head dizzy, and concentration shot to piece as he tries block out Luke’s irritated rant.

There is a definite bump forming just above his right eye, the flesh hot and tender as his fingers brush over it with a groan.

“You just had to push it, as per usual kid.......you just had to run before you could walk”

“I had to see her” Ben bites back miserably, not even having the energy to fight back beyond sulky retorts.

“Not that I’d expect you to understand”.

Luke grunts dismissively in reply, reaching down and pulling Ben’s lax body up to a seated position with a little more force than necessary.

“Oh no. ....I have  _ little  _ concept of your feelings for her....at all!”

Luke rolls his eyes at his nephew as Ben scowls up at him belligerently before slumping forward in sheer exhaustion, his body utterly spent. Luke catches him just before he falls far enough to smack his face again.

“Maker Ben....how the  kark am I going to get you down those steps in this state.” he exhales loudly as Ben’s head lolls back and his eyes glaze over for a moment.

“Just leave me here.” Ben orders, pushing Luke’s hands away as his face darkens. His uncle’s brow furrows as Ben gingerly lowers himself onto his back and sighs dejectedly.

Confused by his total lack of motivation.

“Not that I’m some great expert on relationships, but I would have thought, you’d look at least a little happy to have seen Rey....”

Ben exhales hard, anger flaring in the atmosphere around them as his temper frays and he cannot help but lash out.

Ben’s features twist as props himself up and levels Luke a look of pure venom.

“Why in the  _ Maker,  _ did you not tell me Rey had moved on?”

Despite the limits of Ben’s control and his weakened state, the floor starts to tremor as his hurt grows. A dark cloud of enmity descends in the cavernous temple as the twisted parts of Ben poison and warp his thoughts. He cannot contain it, this wrenching agony in his chest as he thinks of that child.

Of Rey’s happiness without him.

Luke, however, cannot help but look at him like he’s lost his damn mind.

“What in the galaxy, are you talking about Ben?”

Pushing himself up onto his knees, he glares at Luke as he spits out his bitter statement.

“The child Luke, the baby she had in her arms.”

He grips the lapels of Luke’s robe as he growls.

“Why didn’t you tell me she had moved on.....who is he?”

Luke once more looks utterly perplexed by Ben’s demand, driven mute by the sheer ridiculousness of it.

“Tell me....” Ben warns, now on the verge of tears.

Luke studies his face with concern.

“Kriff it Ben....how hard did you hit your head? Because you cannot be that dense......”

“It’s Poe, isn’t it” Ben whispers as he closes his eyes in agony, releasing Luke’s robe as he completely deflates.

“ _ Okay you really can be that dense... _ .” Luke mutters to himself wryly.

He sits down opposite Ben, crossing his legs as he awaits his oblivious nephew to look at him again.

“Tell me the father it isn’t Poe....please...” he says hoarsely, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“No you big oaf, it’s not Poe” Luke chuckles in genuine amusement “It’s you, you dunderheaded nerfherder.”

Ben’s face pales, that red flush of anger draining from his cheeks as he chokes in surprise.

“Come again?”

Luke leans closer, a shit-eating smirk on his face as he speaks.

“You’re the Daddy Ben, that gorgeous baby boy......he’s yours”

Ben blinks back at him in shock, his expression distrustful for a moment before a look of burgeoning joy fills his face. For he had never dream it could be possible.

_ “He’s mine?” _

Luke nods, patting Ben on the shoulder as the younger man expels a shocked laugh.

“He’s yours Ben, as is Rey despite what you may think.....”

Ben’s eyes are tender and brimming with pride and relief as a solitary tear tumbles down his cheek.

“What’s his name....my son?” he sniffles happily, scarcely believing these rapturous turn of events. Luke’s blue eyes shine with affection as he squeezes Ben’s slumped shoulder.

“His name...... is Adhamh Benjamin Solo”.

* * *

The Eastern wind begins to pick up as they reach the middle of the lake, great heavy clouds blotting out the sun as darkness falls over the land.

Rey stands once more at the open hind deck of the cruiser, her eyes glued to the shore as the heady smell of earth and ozone fills the air. The laden sky is ominous and charcoal above her as it readies its deluge to sooth the water parched hills and brittle ground.

Yet Rey pays it no heed, her keen, sharp eyes fixed on the small, white cottage that shines starkly against the gloom. 

_ Her cottage. _

It doesn’t seem real, to own such a jewel amid such beauty. And yet she knows, once she signs the papers tomorrow, no can take it away from her ever again.

It is her birthright, her history, her sweetest wish come true.

A place to call her own.

When Rose had asked her earlier if she knew when she was going home, if she would return to that cavernous but beautiful eye on the City in which she had lived, Rey had hesitated.

For Rey had not known the answer then, the idea of home being almost this abstract in her mind, this place of bricks and mortar and nothing deeper.

But she does now.

For  _ home  _ has been found, it has become  _ real _ .

Rey knows now what she must do now.

She will raise her son here, away from the rush and expectations of the Republics critical eye, for it will be theirs and theirs alone. A life of beauty and simple happiness.

As it always would have been.

_ Just without Ben _ .

It pains her even now to think of him, that whiskey eyed man she loved so deeply. Her tender heart broken and torn to know he will not be here to see Adhamh grow and learn of the world, to hear him speak and takes his first steps upon the shore.

What a wonder it would have been.

To watch this beautiful boy they made in love and hope, become the very best of them.

But she cannot change what has already come to be known and Rey has accepted it in the deepest part of heart.

_ He is gone. _

Swiping at her brimming eyes, Rey feels silly for that burst of hope she’d felt upon the shore. That split second of sanguine longing that had lurched in her chest as she’d begun to face the unnamed phantom behind her. She had convinced herself, in that fleeting moment before she was greeted with nothing but haze, it was Ben that stood as keeper at her back.

_ Waiting for her to know him again. _

How foolish that spit of hope had been.

And how crushed she felt when she found nothing but emptiness to face her.

Perhaps that disturbance in the Force was nothing more than an echo of the past, a lost ancestor come to welcome her home and bless her future here.

Maybe it was nothing more than exhaustion.

Or maybe it was more, Rey cannot be certain.

Rose is soon by her side as the first flash and roll of thunder rocks the shaded valley, their upturned faces catching the warm rain as the heavens open above.

Cleansing the earth and sky.

The two friends are quickly soaked to the skin as the rain hits harder and faster. Their children are thankfully safe and dry elsewhere, Finn more than happy to avoid this feckless activity as the two young mothers yowl happily in the gale.

They laugh and dance in the flood, swinging together to the beat and growl of the storm as it spreads out across the ancient great lake.

The friends care for nothing in that moment, but the promise of tomorrow and the joy they find in release of it all.

They dance and scream and laugh in some primal ecstasy, fascinated by the forks of lightening and the sudden and new rapid streams, that wind their way down the hill sides. Spilling their torrents back into the darkened waters of the lake to start the cycle again.

As Rey stops and looks toward the shore in small moment of clarity, the white of her cottage is dimmed beneath the sheet of water. The view obscured, but ever so solid and lovely to her elated eyes

Her heart leaps again at the thought,  _ this is her home _ .

And all at once, her lonely, trouble soul is a blissfully at peace.

_ She is home. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly...if anyone is confused, the baby's name is pronounced ADAM :)  
> I just choose the Gaelic spelling, because I like the way it looked (+ I am a proud Celtic girl who happens to have a weird Gaelic name).
> 
> Secondly, I appreciate everyone's suggestions, but in the end Adhamh just fit for the story.
> 
> I promise, promise, promise Rey and Ben will have a proper reunion in the next chapter....this meeting was a little bit of tease. Sorry!
> 
> To make up for it, things will get steamy between them ;)
> 
> I had all kinds of plans for this chapter, but it sort of went out the window as soon as I started to piece it all together.....It just needed more meat if you know what I mean.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter will not be as long! This one was quite enough.
> 
> Please send me a kudos or comment if you enjoyed it.
> 
> See you all on the other side.  
> -Red xxx
> 
> EDIT: Now on temporary hiatus until mid-February.


	23. Andromeda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends and readers,
> 
> Welcome to chapter 23! I am sorry it has taken so long to update, but life is busy at present.  
> I am updating at 3am so please excuse grammatical errors etc, I tried my hardest to get this chapter up before month end :(
> 
> Chapter 23 was due to be substantially longer, but the word count got ridiculous so you're getting more a taster chapter before the main event.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and thank you all for all your wonderful comments and kudos's. They keep me going.
> 
> Love you all fine reader.  
> -RedCatRen

The days seem brighter now, less dour almost, as a new freshness rises in the air each morning Ben wakes on that once godforsaken spit of rock. There is as a tentative sort of peace that has fallen upon the land, a calming of the seas that brings new life and a rush green to the craggy shores of Ahch-To.

The sun is just a little warmer and the wind, just a little  tamer, as it weaves its way around the rugged hilltops and over the gently swelling tides.

There is little rain or even cloud in the weeks that follow Ben’s thwarted attempt to reach Rey, the relentless gales and thunderstorms of his first month upon the island blissfully absent as the days bleed on into weeks of boundless sunshine. The change is stark, but utterly welcomed by all inhabitants as the once harsh and cutting wind is subdued to nothing more than a teasing zephyr upon their cheeks. The longer this unseasonable good weather continues, the more it appears on some strange and supernatural level,  Ahch -To's vastly improved climate is feeding off Ben’s newly raised spirits.

The dark and angry storms of frustration have broken into lazy, wonderous light and endless, cheerful blue, a gentle contentment found in the warmth it brings.

Much like the man that sits at the centre of it.

For Ben is content and Ben is at peace.

Amid this buoyant atmosphere, he cannot even muster the will to care about their thwarted encounter on Naboo, for his fragile heart has grown and filled in ways he never thought possible in the wake of the revelations he had discovered that day. The unprecedented and precious gift he had received on that fine afternoon by the lake, was more wonderous than he could have ever dreamed in a hundred lifetimes. 

Ben cannot help but beam when he thinks of him now, that dark and beautiful baby boy

The memory of his son’s sweet face blazes a path deep inside him, this new and powerful love taking up residence in the very core of his ladened chest, until he can no longer breathe with the sheer joy he feels.

His son.

_ His  _ _ Adhamh _ _. _

How foolish he had been to delude himself that this boy was anyone's but his, for the child’s dark, honey eyes had shown the truth he had been too frightened to believe. 

When Ben had later reflected upon the moment their eyes had met by the lake, he now only saw that same vibrant hue his own mother had gazed upon him with, her own eyes found in the shape and honeyed tones of her grandson.

The same eyes he too found within his own reflection.

_ They were one and the same. _

The thought makes his spirit sing, his heart lighter and his smile more frequent.

His family,  _ his  _ _ blood,  _ lives on.

Ben can be patient now, knowing Rey is not alone. He can be patient for them both.

_ He has to be. _

For Luke had been acutely right that Ben had been in no shape to push his limits that day. 

_ Crushingly so. _

He had been too weak to shoulder the burden of that foolish effort, his healing body spent before he’d even begun

The repercussions of that irresponsible, stubborn endeavour had haunted him for days afterward, for he had been drained to exhaustion and emptied of all stamina. There had been many days in the week that followed where Ben had been lost to deep and dreamless sleep as his body and mind recovered.

Concurrent sunrises to sunsets where he woke only to eat and drink before his eyes grew heavy and he could do little to fit the urge to sleep.

But finally, after a seemingly endless week of groggy, restless nights, Ben’s vitality returned

And with it, comes his smile.

A smile he even shares now with Luke on those brilliant, sun blushed evenings as they watch the dusk ride in.

For he is happy now, happy beyond measure.

He feels free and truly hopeful for the first time in his entire life.

* * *

“Do you ever regret not having children?” Ben asks Luke casually one quiet, balmy evening as they sit and watch the horizon turn from blue to crimson. The remains of a small meal sit between them as Ben licks his fingers clean of the oily fish and take the last root vegetable into his mouth. The starchy root is pleasantly sweet against his tongue as he chews heavily and wait for the Luke to respond.

One of the Lanai is quickly at his side as soon as he swallows the last bite the creature gesturing for the picked clean carcass with a grumpy huff. The Lanai grunts and points to the bones and scraps once more, not waiting for Ben’s response before snatching the plate and scurrying off toward the island’s small vegetable garden. She looks back and shakes her fist with a gruff gurgle, Ben’s food scraps in tow as she hurries off into the dark.

He watches the small female with a quiet snort, amused in some small way by their unerring brisk natures.

“What truly strange creatures these natives are ..... at times so kind and generous ....but others.....just downright rude!” he chuckles with a grin, before turning back towards Luke’s unexpectedly morose expression.

“What?” Ben asks with a frown, scrubbing at his mouth lest his oily, food flecked beard had caused Luke’s sudden sharp gaze.

“You asked if I ever regretted never having children” Luke says after beat, his voice monotone yet quiet.

Ben blinks back at him sheepishly, having already forgotten he asked the offhand question.

His uncle’s Adam's apple bobs heavily as he swallows and drags his gaze back to the blazing binary sunset, the distant stars a heavy orange burst in the distance. There is a terrible sadness that surrounds him now as Ben regards him carefully. Feeling slightly guilty he has broached this painful subject so glibly.

His uncle sighs heavily as a dark shadow crosses his troubled features.

“Children were never part of my plan.....truthfully I never considered myself the best candidate for fatherhood.......” Luke murmurs barely above a whisper, speaking more to himself than for Ben’s benefit.

“.....but there was a woman once ..... many moons ago, that I loved as you love Rey...... we talked about starting a family sometimes.......”

Ben feels a pang of sympathy as Luke’s face turns in grief, the name  _ Mara Jade _ ringing through his memory like siren. She had never been just  _ a  _ woman, for Luke, she had been  _ the  _ woman.

The one that got away.

Growing up, Ben had known very little of this lost love of his uncle's, for Luke could never bear to speak of it with anyone. Not even Leia. His heart had been too irreparably broken by her death to ever fully recover, he learned only to live with it.

Mara Jade’s untimely death had come not long after Ben had begun to walk and follow his father around like a puppy. Blissfully unaware of the desolation and sorrow that had surrounded him.

From that day on, Luke had never spoken of that fire haired woman he loved beyond measure.

It was Leia who had told Ben many years later that terrible tale of woe, perhaps in some vain attempt to help him understand his Uncle’s at time ornery and distant behaviour toward him. 

And Ben, for all his childishness and immaturity, had felt nothing but pity and shock at the loss his uncle had endured. 

It was unbearable to think of the pain he had felt when his clever, quick girl had been murdered in cold blood, or the even more tragic twist, that his love had been betrayed by a once trusted friend.

Mara Jade had been silenced, her life’s light snuff out, all because she’d been in the wrong place, at the wrong time. The only witness of dark and terrible crime that had threatened to tear the very Republic apart. There was no plausible way she could have escaped with her life after that.

She had been marked for the death the moment she’d stumbled upon the nefarious plans of a wicked madman and a once precious ally.

And Luke, despite his usual urge to clemency and code of puritanical honour, enacted a bloody and cruel vendetta in his fallen love’s name.

That Judas of friend was all but draw and quartered when he was done with him.

In the end, Mara Jade was avenged by almost tenfold by the time Luke’s anger had subsided and the light had returned to his conflicted soul.

Not that Ben could ever judge him for such ferocity in the face of loss.

He would have done the same, perhaps even worse if anything like that befallen his lovely girl.

His hands would never be clean again, he knew that  unequivocally . 

Luke’s eyes are vacant as hums to himself, a desperate loneliness filling the air for a moment.

“Maybe if she had lived, we would have had a child of our own. Maybe a whole half dozen” he pauses and looks at Ben with such desolation, it near on breaks his nephew heart with the unfairness of it all.

“But alas, what’s done is done and it does no good to dwell on what was never meant to be.”

“I guess not” Ben answers quietly, feeling oddly crestfallen and almost guilty for shoving his own good fortune in Luke’s face.

They do not speak for a moment, both men lost to their own searching thoughts. Discomfort welling beneath it all.

“Will you promise me something Ben....?” Luke asks after the lull has pressed upon them for far too long. Ben looking back at him earnestly before nodding solemnly.

“When you speak to  Adhamh about me, try to be kind ..... if you can. Because....it wasn’t all bad, was it?”

Ben gives him a watery smile and claps his hand gently on his uncle’s blue framed shoulder.

“No....it wasn’t all bad Master Skywalker.”

Luke musters a half smile to his old moniker in reply, secretly relieved by his answer.

“We had some good times didn’t we...”

“That we did, but those adventures also had a little more danger thrown in than necessary for a young boy.”

“You were fine”

“Just about!” 

They share a good-natured chuckle before watching as the waning dusk fades to night, the sky turning a deep and serene purple before the stars glow bright amid the coal dark of twilight.

That lingering sadness takes hold once more, the absence of a distraction exacerbating the maudlin, sentimental mood overtaking Luke.

“Ben....promise me this kid....as soon as you get off this island, I want you to hug that boy of yours as tight and as often as you can, life’s too short to do otherwise, you understand?” Luke says suddenly, his eyes watery once more as he glances towards his nephew’s startled face,

“Take it from me, a boy can never have too much love, too much...... _ care _ ..... because  _ things..... _ things go wrong if they don’t _ ” _

His expression is pained for a moment, regretful almost. 

And without need for further explanation, Ben knows why.

Because Luke has seen it all happen before, what too little care and too little attention can do to a child. How the dark can fill the gaps left by loneliness and insecurity, until nothing but bitter shadows are left to cloud and warp the neglected soul of innocence.

Luke cannot change the past, but he can try to mould the future and rectify the missteps that every generation took before him.

Ben sighs before he nods with a resolute expression.

“I know....and I will Luke. Believe me, once all this is over.....  _ Maker _ , I’m going to hold and kiss that boy every minute of every day...... until he’s just about old enough to feel embarrassed by it” Ben replies with a slight smirk, a proud and eager glint in his eyes.

Luke’s morose expression softens, his mouth upturning slightly as he lets out a short snort.

“Han would be proud” he drawls mordantly.

Ben smiles back faintly, the memory of his departed father no longer tearing at his heart as it once did but affecting him all the same. Though he will never forgive himself for the monstrous act he committed in the name of his own apparent liberation, he has learned to live with it.

Like a absent limb, the phantom pain remains to ache and needle in his skin, those interrupted nerves never rewiring to the new reality of its fate.

“Truly....Han  _ would  _ be proud of you Ben” Leia repeats more earnestly, her petite frame rising from the encroaching dark to form solid and clear by his side. The fraternal twins flank Ben now like two blue celestial pillars as they both shine gently beneath the silvery crescent moon.

Ben sighs happily as he looks down tenderly at his mother, his smile growing broad and welcoming.

“I was wondering when you were going to make an appearance” he remarks teasingly, equal parts relieved and overjoyed to see Leia again. She has not been back to  Ahch -To for the better part of a month, her presence  absent from the island ever since he’d awoken from his first bout of recovery many weeks ago.

For her steady, firm hand had been needed elsewhere.

At first Ben had been perturbed by her absence, confused she had abandoned him for other less pressing matters.

_ But, now he understands completely _

Ben had been given Luke to guide him,  _ and Rey, _ well Rey had needed Leia more.

His precious and tiny baby son, he had needed Leia more too.

Leia had been there in his stead, watching over his little family when he couldn’t and for that, he is eternally grateful.

“ Oh you know me, I love to be fashionable late to the party”.

Ben snorts in reply, surprising Leia greatly when he throws his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in close to his side. 

“Well  ….. I’m glad you’re here now” he murmurs honestly, looking at his mother with such warmth it floors her for a moment. She looks up at him with startled expression before it melts away to a deep affection.

“Me too” she whispers back, squeezing his knee with a quick press of her fingers.

“ So tell us.....” Luke begins cheerfully “How is your strapping young grandson sister?”

Ben’s brown eyes sparkle as he looks back at his mother  with eager curiosity .

Leia beams in reply, her gaze settling in on her son as they share a look of pure happiness.

“He’s perfect, just perfect”.

* * *

Moving day, as it turns out, is not as fun as Rey had anticipated.

The morning had begun with great promise, the sky a bright blue and the westerly wind a pleasant relief against the rising heat of the Naboo high Summer. It was easy to be productive in those conditions, the temperature perfect and the air fresh and sharp within your lungs.

But then, as the midday sun began to rise and wind began to fade to a whisper by the lake, the oppressive humidity of the afternoon truly began.

“Where do you want this?” Finn huffs loudly, his face reddening as he struggles inside the cottage. His arms are starting to strain now under the weight of a hefty trunk he holds in is grip, stamina waning as levels her a look of sheer desperation. There is sweat pouring from his brow as he looks at Rey with pained exhaustion, the heavy afternoon air doing little to improve the situation as his muscles start to shake with effort.

“Just put it down in here, I need to sort through everything anyway” Rey replies tiredly, her own brow damp and muscles aching from the many hours they have spent at labour. Her usual cheery expression has faded to a scowl as the sweltering Summers day drains them all of enthusiasm and patience. The ever-reliable lakeshore breeze seems to have abandoned them, no respite found today save the occasional dipping of toes into the lukewarm shallows. Rey is only thankful  Adhamh seems to take the heatwave in his stride, happy to quietly doze in his bassinet in nothing but his diaper as his mother buzzes all around him.

Finn dumps the trunk upon the wooden floor with little finesse, the overextended buckles springing open as it slips out of his grip just short of the polished oak below. Clothes and underwear spill to the floor as it tips to its side and empties its contents.

“Oops...” he snorts sheepishly, giving Rey an apologetic grimace “ .... _ sorry _ ”.

Rey cheeks flush pink before she shuffles over to shove her trunk upright, hastily throwing her undergarments back inside as tries, and fails to hide her embarrassment for the giant and unflattering pairs that have somehow found their way to land on Finn’s right boot.

She shoves them swiftly into box with a blush, hoping she hasn’t missed any other rogue articles.

“It’s fine......I probably shouldn’t have overstuffed it anyway” she mumbles back, wrenching the lid closed with more force than should really be necessary.

Finn tries not to guffaw when the straps snap open again of their own accord, Rey groaning as a lacy pair of pants slide out with a soft thump.

“You’re packing skills are really exemplary.....” Finn teases with a smirk, a snort escaping as Rey shoves him gently in retort. Her brow heavy as she sulks at his jibe.

“No really....” he continues with a grin, scanning the haphazard trunks and chests that litter the floor between Rey’s unique collection of equally irregular furniture. Each storage vessel as overstuffed and disorganised as the next, buckles and lids bulging as they fight to contain the contents.

Finn is amazed she even own that many things!

“It’s truly a wonder ..... did you fold anything? Like at all?”

“ Oh come on, not all of us had the benefit of your  _ extensive  _ military training!” Rey scoffs back, smirking despite herself.

“ _ indoctrination _ ” Poe intones with a wry smile as he ambles in carrying nothing more than a small lamp and wooden vase in each hand.

“I think the word you’re looking for is indoctrination”.

“You’re just jealous of my skills...because you Dameron, couldn’t organise your way out of a paper bag” Finn challenges with a dramatic arch of his brow.

Laying the lamp and vase down on the nearest available space, Poe crosses his arms across his chest as he shakes his with an audible  _ tsk _ .

“Buddy, I strategized entire battles during the war.....I crushed enemies like they were mere pawns on a holochess board.”

“ _ Right _ .....Is that what we’re calling flying by the seat of our pants these days?” Finn smirks, shooting Rey a wink as their friend grows more and more incensed.

“As I recall ....I was your co-General for a reason.”

“I just wanted you to feel included” Poe retorts, visibly sulking as Rey tries in vain to mask her smile.

“ Sure you were.”

Poe shoots him a withering look before turning on his heel and thundering his way back on into the small garden, not wanting to dignify Finn’s callous needling with an answer. He mumbles touchily about forgotten something in the cruiser and is quickly out of sight.

Finn and Rey snigger softly as they watch him leave, oddly amused by their friend’s bruised ego. It is always all too easy to tease him.

“You know he’s going to be grumpy all-day now......” Rey chuckles, shooting Finn a knowing look as she bumps his hip gently. Finn shrugs in response, not looking one bit remorseful.

“Let him, he started it anyway....”

“Play nice young man”  Rey scolds gently, poking him playfully in the side before a soft whimper catches her attention. She closes the short distance to her son’s bassinet as a sweet sound rises in the quiet room, little hiccups and snorts accompanying the whimper as the baby stirs.

Adhamh grunts louder as he wakes, small arms stretching as he starts to fuss and register his displeasure at being left alone.

He seems to complain further as Rey carefully lifts him into her arms, feeling the days unsavoury heat suddenly. Rey smiles at her son, laughing light when she spies his dark, curly hair slathered to one side of his head, while the full dark ringlets on the other side stick out at odd angles. 

He looks  a sight!

Adhamh’s small hands grip to her light, linen shirt as he nuzzles into her neck, snuffling softly in contentment as that flash of annoyance is quickly forgotten.

“I love it when they do that” Finn says warmly as he watches the intimate moment, giving Rey a bright grin when she turns back towards him, her arms wrapped securely around her son’s body as she rubs his back reassuringly.

“.....but personal space is a thing of the past” he adds with a wry expression.

“Don’t I know!  Adhamh isn’t happy until he’s literally nose to nose with me”

As if on cue, her son huffs in frustration as he tries to arch his little face closer to her upturned chin. He fails miserably as his balance bobbles uncontrollably and he falls back against her neck. Adhamh grunts and tries again, little golden eyes set in the sweetest of frowns as the effort quickly becomes all too much.

He huffs in defeat and instead tries to turn to look at Finn with new interest. His eyes are unblinking as he regards the man who is not quite a stranger, but not quite a friend yet.

Moving closer, Finn runs a dark finger down the baby’s flushed little cheek , his skin warm and soft from sleep. Adhamh looks up him with a puzzled expression before turning back toward Rey with a dramatic yawn.

Bored by this new face already.

“It’s crazy how alert he is now.”

“And demanding! Whoever knew entertaining a two-month-old baby could be so much work?” Rey sighs with a tired smile, kissing her squirming son as he mouths at collar of her shirt.

“At least he can’t roll over yet” Finn adds with a shrug, shooting Adhamh a wink before he ambles over to the chaotic collection of trunks to begin moving them to the edge of the room. The cluttered walkways annoying him more than he’d care do admit.

“Lily tried to escape the changing table yesterday.” he laughs lightly to himself, wincing slightly as he struggles with a particular weighty chest. Rey watches him work with an impassive smile on her face, quietly thankful he has taken it upon himself to organise the mess that is her living room, yet bewildered it bothers him so much. 

Clearly it doesn’t grate as much on her nerves as it does his.

As he works, Finn starts to get this oddly proud look in his eyes as the recalls the incident, his lips curling up into a fonder smile.

“Rose turned away for just a second, you know ..... to get her some clean socks or something, and the cheeky little minx was peeking over the edge of the table, utterly indifferent to the danger and giggling happily at one of the cleaning droids.”

Rey snorts in surprise, her burst of laughter a mix of scoff and giggle as she tries to digest the image in her mind. She can already picture Rose’s aghast reaction, for there is no doubt she had expelled a litany of colourful curse words as she gently scolded her daredevil of a daughter.

The daughter of a miner, Rose could be an expert curser when she wanted to!

But Rey cannot deny, when the time comes, she will probably do the exact same thing. For it will not be long until she’s in a very similar position, her growing son already so strong and solid, she is under no illusion he will soon try and test his limits just as much as Lily.

“Listen here little man” she murmurs to him quietly “Don’t get any crazy ideas......you better stay  _ exactly  _ where I leave you. Okay?”

Her son simply smacks his lips and stares up at her blankly. Rey sighs dramatically as his amber eyes just gaze at her unblinkingly.

“I have no hope of you doing that.....do I”

“Not chance” Finn teases as he walks past with a cocky grin, whistling to himself as he carries a small box of crockery and pots into the kitchen. Rey huffs in defeat with a resigned smile of her own.

“ _ Great _ ”

This flash of dread quickly passes when Adhamh huffs softly and shuffles his little face into her shoulder.

“You’re lucky you’re so damn cute young Solo” Rey murmurs affectionately as she kisses his temple and gently rocks him side to side.

The room is exceptionally quiet now as they stand there alone, mother and son in that sweet and tender embrace. It is soothing after the rush and high energy of the morning.

Looking around the bright but untidy living room, Rey realizes with a start, it is the first time all day she has had a moment alone in her new home. Admittedly she is not  _ truly  _ alone, what with her son clutching firmly to her chest, but in this rare moment of peace, there is no one else to cloud her attention.

It gives her a chance to breath it all in, to digest the knowledge that from this night onwards, this cosy little cottage will be their home. For as long as they want it to be. 

Rey’s eyes are gleeful as they trace the freshly painted walls and newly polished floors, the dark oak a shiny and smooth finish despite its considerable age. Her eager eyes sweep with admiration to the gleaming new glass window, its large, clear surface welcoming the full afternoon sun like an old friend. There are many small panels of colourful stained-glass that hem the edges, their bright, bold reds and blues basking the room in the warmest of iridescent light. It adds something beautiful to the room, this burst of cheerful saturation amid the often beige and white tones of her simple home.

It gives Rey a keen sense of peace.

_ Like she belongs here. _

Her serene gaze drifts again, falling to the functional, yet comfortable furniture that sits scattered around the room. Rey had chosen each piece with such enthusiasm; it had made Rose cackle in delight as she had never taken Rey for such a fervid nester.

Yet these newfound domestic instincts had somehow been unable to counteract Rey’s strange compulsion and need, for nothing in her house to match, or even coordinate in colour.

Based on fabrics alone, not a single stripe, pattern or print was like any other.

And yet, Rey loved every single piece in her cottage, as every chair, table and knick-knack had been bargained and bartered for at the bustling markets of  Theed .

Rey had fought long and hard to acquire  each and every one.

Dehvasa had thought her mad at first for filling her new home with all the cast offs of a generation before her, she had not understood the importance of these scavenged treasures. Her elder cousin had even offered several times to supply Rey with as many fine pieces from the palace as she wanted, or even just to purchase a suitable dining set, but Rey had politely declined at every turn. Knowing deep down, it would never feel like her own if she did.

In the end, Rey had eventually compromised on three singular items, in part to save from spurning her cousin’s genuine generosity  over and over again , but in the  end she had relented mostly because something had felt different about them. 

_ More real in a way. _

When  Dehvasa had called to her office one evening not long after Rey had begun to collect her unique sets of furniture, Rey had been all but ready to refuse her gift once more. Yet, once the Queen presented her with the large oak rocking chair and matching cot, something within her had told her to pause.

Rey’s first instinct had been to do as she had always done before, to respectfully decline the gift and weather the inevitable awkwardness that would come in the form of  Dehvasa’s heavy brow and pursed lips. Her face setting in displeasure.

_ But _ .

This time, for some unknown reason, Rey couldn’t refuse, it felt wrong somehow. Sensing even before the Queen began to tell her of the  item's history, these beautiful old things were always meant to be hers.

And as  Dehvasa began to unravel the somber tale of this beautiful cot and sweet rocking chair, the final remnants of Padme Amidala’s tragically untouched and unused nursery, Rey knew there existed no universe in which she could refuse them.

Because they are not hers to refuse, they are  _ Adhamh’s _ .

Dehava’s final gift comes in the form of her grandmother’s solid, mahogany sleigh bed, the dusty, worn bed frame another family heirloom Rey cannot in all-conscience turn down, for it belongs in the little cottage Rey now calls home.

There is no question, Sabe’s bed  _ belongs  _ in the place she had lived and loved until the end of her days. And Rey will cherish it as she cherishes those once long-abandoned portraits that now hang proudly over the hearth, returned to their pride of place as it should be.

Now as she stands in her grandparent’s home, their young, shining faces seem serene as they look out upon her with pride. At rest now, their family returned.

And so, where once these forgotten symbols of a shared legacy had witnessed failure and loss, now, they would now bear witness to a joyous new beginning.

_ History reclaimed. _

Sighing again, Rey cast her eyes back toward her new fresher with a contented smile. Feeling unashamedly self- satisfied she had fixed so much of it all by herself, the refurbishment a real labour of love. As what had begun as a simple repair and replacement of parts, had grown exponentially once she had heedlessly ripped into the walls and discovered so much damp, even a Gungan would have balked at the amount of stale water seeping down the inner walls.

Her plans to take up residence somewhat delayed as more and more snags became apparent and days quickly turned into weeks.

Never had twenty-eight days felt concurrently so short, and so agonizingly long in her entire life. Her eagerness to move in, tempered only by the sheer number of tasks that needed to be completed before the cottage became habitable.

_ Well _ , habitable for her baby at least.

Rey had lived and survived in shelters infinitely more basic than the outdated facilities of her grandparents once home. But for Adhamh’s sake, she was more than willing to wait and put in the work that was needed.

And now when all is said and done, there is keen feeling of accomplishment as she admires the fresher, or the new  holosystem in her living room.

It is  a feeling that no one can ever take from her.

That this hers, every brick and inch of wood upon the floors, her birth right reclaimed in every stroke of paint upon the walls.

_ It is hers _ .

Rey breathes deep and lets this feeling of immense euphoria wash over her, until there is the slight pricking of tears in the corner of her eyes as the emotion of the day starts to overtake her. But she does not let them fall, for she will not weep yet.

She will soldier on, her smile fixed in place.

* * *

Finn is still working tirelessly in the kitchen when Poe returns sometime later, dutifully arranging the plates and bowls as he whistles tunelessly to himself.

“I see the little guy is up already, can’t say I blame him......It’s too damn hot today.” 

Poe’s humour is better as he approaches, his testy mood long forgotten it seems.

He flops down on the nearest chair, shooting Rey an amiable grin.

“At least the cool of the evening’s not far, the sun sets earlier here by the lake”

“Well, that’s a relief I guess” he remarks, stretching like a  Lothcat as he settles lower into the armchair. Rey arches an eyebrow at him, her lips pursed in amusement as she watches him make himself comfortable amid the controlled chaos of her living room.

Even though there’re only a few items left to be delivered from the Palace, Rose having volunteered to coordinate the final packing of her things, there is still much to do.

“ So. ....are you going on helping at all ..... or are you just planning to sit there looking pretty” she teases, settling herself in another armchair as Adhamh’s squirming weight becomes too much for her fatigued arms to bear.

Poe grins back and gives her a saucy wink as he bites at the skin of his thumb.

“You know me Master Skywalker, it takes a lot of work to look this good”.

Rey snorts, finding his shameless flirting comical even after all the years she’s known him. He rarely means it, this incorrigible act of his, it’s all charm with very little intent.

He loves his wife all too much to ever let it stray beyond anything but the occasional game playing for his own interests. Because underneath it all, Poe  Dameron is one of the most loyal people she has ever met.

“You are  _ way  _ too vain for your own good, you know that”.

“You love me Rey, just admit it” he counters with another alluring grin.

“Not when you’re being a lazy git”.

“Hey! I carried in those..... ” he retorts impishly, pointing at the smallest table by the window and a lone stool set by her bedroom door “And the lamp and vase”.

“Wow....my hero” Rey deadpans with a shake of her head. Poe winks at her again, pulling yet another snort from her mouth. She is never able to keep a straight face in his company for long.

Adjusting Adhamh in her arms, her gaze drops from Poe for a moment as she shushes her griping son. His complaints are eased as she moves him from her shoulder to face Poe, curious eyes staring at the new dark-haired man with renewed interest. By the time Rey looks at her friend again, there is a small holopad in his hands, the screen a vibrant yellow glow in the already bright room.

Rey is not even sure where the  holo has come from, Poe is carrying no bag on his person and his pants pockets hardly seem deep enough to hold it securely.

He holds the device out toward her with  an almost beseeching look.

“I need you to sign something, any chance you would temporarily swap a baby boy for a  datapad ?”

Rey nods with a grin.

“Gladly....he’s being a grump today.”

She stands and offers Adhamh over to him with little finesse and even less caution, knowing her baby is safe and secure in Poe  Dameron’s experienced hands. Poe instantly turns the little boy to face him and begins to make silly, obnoxious noises to catch his attention, but Adhamh does not even so much as blink at him in surprise. His expression neutral and relatively unimpressed.

“Tough crowd ....but trust me, in a few weeks you’ll find me hilarious buddy, just you wait.”

Rey is silent in the chair opposite him, her brow knitted  tight in concentration. 

“What is this?” she asks after beat, not even lifting her gaze to question him. Her initial enthusiasm is dipping as she takes note of the long, complicated document in front of her. The  Auburesh writing so tiny in places, she  must squint hard to understand it all.

From first glance, it looks official. A dense senatorial contract that instantly sours her mood.

“Don’t stress too much, I had my legal advisers look it over and it’s nothing to worry about sweetheart... It just says your surrendering the penthouse in  Chandrilla ......if you still want to go through with it, that is?”.

Rey's posture visibly relaxes, her frown fading as she finally looks back at him again , her eyes large and  somewhat startled

“No.....no.... I want to.....go through with it, I mean” she gushes, feeling her cheeks flush unexpectedly. There is a sudden ache of wistfulness that dumbfounds her for a moment as an unanticipated sadness burns in the core of her chest.

“I just..... didnt expect it to be so soon"

“The Senate waits for no man.....or woman.”

There’s a finality about it now as her fingers graze over the box where her signature must go, the closing of a chapter of her life bound by the simple typing of her name. With just a few short characters, she would waiver her rights and pass the proverbial mantle to Finn and Jannah to start the journey again. 

They would mold her students in their own image now,  _ and Rey _ , she would be there to lend a guiding hand from afar if needed.

She wouldn’t look back.

And though Rey had always known this day would come, and even though she’d planned for it in every way she could think of, now it’s here, all she feels is empty and slightly disappointed.

Like saying goodbye to an old friend.

All she would have left now is the memories of that time and a deep affection for the life she once lived in the beautiful building that cleaved the city sky.

Rey sighs deeply before slowly typing her name without a word, this part of her journey done as soon as she clicks save and the document becomes binding.

It is done.

She pushes away that strange feeling of loss and grief that rises like a cresting wave, giving Poe a watery half smile as she meets his gentle gaze.

“I hereby surrender it all to your capable hands, Senator  Dameron " Rey smirks as she hands Poe back the datapad, her cheerful tone sounding hollow and forced.

Her friend’s expression is devoid of its usual mischievousness as he regards Rey with a sympathetic look, brotherly affection and keen understanding written in his gaze.

“Who gets the penthouse now? I gather other arrangements have been made for Finn and Rose .”

Poe shrugs as he returns Adhamh to his mother, unsure how to answer as he truly does not know.

“Finn, Jannah and Rose will have a place a few floors down ....and the penthouse, well I’m sure some pompous, supercilious sycophant will manage to curry enough favour to take it off our hands.’

“Oh joy......that sounds about right" Rey smirks mordantly, tucking Adhamh into her side as he continues to stare at Poe with a quizzical frown. The baby boy sighs heavily and turns to his mother when Poe attempts once again to amuse him with a loud a raspberry, his little face utterly unimpressed.

Dameron chuckles when he meets Rey’s arched eyebrow and lopsided grin.

“I am determined to get that boy to crack a smile.....no child can resist my charms” he says with a strangely dogged determination, drawing a wider smile from Rey as she looks down at her slightly grumpy face son.

“He barely smiles at me Dameron, so you’re in for a long ride. This boy is tough as old boots.....isn’t that right my Peanut”.

As if on cue,  Adhamh flashes a grin at his mother solely to contradict her it seems. He gurgles low as his little dimples take up residence in those full cheeks, his small fist shoved into his mouth as he chews noisily.

“Or maybe...I guess you’ve just lost your touch....” Rey remarks with a teasing lilt as she meets Poe’s shaking head, his hands held aloft in defeat.

“I guess so.....It seems round one goes to baby Solo.”.

Rey grins wider, kissing her sons curls as Poe sighs dramatically in mock disappointed.

There is a sudden and very audible commotion to their right, as something heavy thumps to the floor in the kitchen. Finn mutters a particularly foul string of Huttese curses in the next room, the tirade rising when a few seconds later another set of thumps accompany the first.

“You okay buddy?” Poe calls half-heartedly, trying to bite back his immediate bubble of laughter as Finn shuffles into the room covered in flour and what looks like a thick honey or syrup of some sort.

“Yeah ..... I’m fine” Finn replies gruffly, trying to brush the worst of the debris from his face “The box of food supplies wasn’t closed, it seems the lid was never replaced when  _ someone  _ stacked it in the larder. So once I moved it.....well...... you can guess what happened next.”

Rey snorts before her whole body starts to shake with high and uncontrollably laughter, Poe quickly joining her as Finn pouts in embarrassment.

“Yeah yeah......enjoy it while you can Master Skywalker, you haven’t seen the mess in your kitchen yet.” he grumbles touchily, tearing off his ruined t-shirt and using it to clear the worst of the sticky honey and congealed flour from his arms and face.

“Worth it ..... ” Rey giggles fiendishly, positively beaming as she and Poe cannot seem to stop their laughter. Finn sincerely looks a sight.

He huffs heavily, throwing his now caked t-shirt on the ground and crossing his arms across his bare chest with a scowl.

“Please tell me you have a spare shirt somewhere; I can’t spend the rest of my day like this.....”

Thankfully Rey favours oversized clothes, especially tunics and shirt, so Finn is sure something she owns will invariably fit him well enough to see him through the evening.

“Yeah.....there’s a blue trunk just outside my bedroom. Try that one”.

Finn nods in reply, casting a curious eye back toward the fresher before thinking the better of it. Mostly as he cannot be bothered to try find a towel amid the multitude of boxes and chests strewn around the room. Thankfully he has removed the worst of the flour anyway.

Poe and Rey share a look and try to bite back the rolling snorts that threaten to break through again, watching as Finn trudges over to the trunk and begins to riffle through the contents with a scowl.

He starts to pull a few options out, carefully stacking the mix of colours on the floor beside him.

Rey’s grin quickly fades as a familiar dark cotton shirt finds its way to the pile, a small ache forming in her chest as her eyes  fall on Ben’s frayed and hole riddled undershirt.

“Not that one” Rey orders abruptly, her tone harsher than intended. Her cheeks flush as Finn looks back at her in confusion, his expression oddly cowed as he tries to comprehend where he’s gone wrong.

Her expression alone telling him something is  amiss .

Rey swallows deeply, relaxing her troubled features before evening her tone to speak once more.

“Take whatever you want, but that one....”

Finn follows her line of sight, his befuddled face softening into understanding as his eyes fall on the offending article. 

“That one stays in the trunk.”

“Sure” he replies gently, feeling slightly sheepish as he careful replaces the precious, if scruffy, remnant of Ben Solo back into its home. Poe’s look of amusement is also gone when Rey turns back to face him, discomfort replacing his usual playful mood.

Rey chews on her tender flesh of her cheek as that knot within her chest doesn’t seem to clear, a maudlin atmosphere falling upon them all as that, unspoken and absent figure is like a creeping, dark shadow in their minds.

But then, as Rey’s eyes slowly drift down to Adhamh as he sits happily tucked in against her side, her son smiles up at her so sweetly, it dispels every dark thought and heavy pain in her heart. 

That gummy, dimpled smile reminds her in an instant, there are still so many things to make her life so full and filled with light.

For Ben lives on in his little face.

Her expression is hopeful and bright as she raises her eyes to look at her two best friends, their posture stiff and heads bowed. Finn still stands a few feet away by her bedroom door, a plain grey shirt in his hands as he looks down at her with unsure guilt.

“So....” Rey begins with renewed cheer “Which one of you strapping young men is brave enough to come help me tackle the kitchen.”

Both Poe and Finn raise their eyebrows in surprise, sharing a look of relief before Poe begins to rise to his feet.

“Well...... since Finn is a literal butter fingers it seems, I volunteer to help you m’lady.” he replies with an impish lilt, bowing low in some overdramatic display of mock gallantry.

“ _ Hey _ !” Finn barks back with a scoff, shooting Poe a withering look as he pulls the slightly too tight shirt over his broad chest.

“I know it was you that stacked it wrong in the first place.”

“Lies, lies, lies.....casting aspersions will get you nowhere” Poe retorts with a grin.

“Whatever.....I  _ know  _ it was you” Finn huffs,  punctuating his accusation as he wags his pointer finger  harshly at him.

Poe shrugs nonchalantly.

“Prove it then buddy”

Finn narrows his eyes at him, opening his mouth to argue further before Rey beats him to the punch with a roll of her eyes .

“Boys.....enough dick measuring,  it’s truly boring”.

She rises and deftly hands Finn  Adhamh before he can protest or shirk the responsibility.

“C’mon Poe, let’s get this over with”

“But....” Finn begins weakly, panic briefly clouding his face as Adhamh begins to fuss and squirm. The reason why quickly becoming apparent.

“Finn.....his changing bag is in the nursery. Good luck” Rey says with a wicked smile before walking into the kitchen without another word. Poe sniggers while Finn looks back at their retreating figures in dread, knowing now , he’s been cruelly duped.

Holding the  increasingly irritated young  baby aloft, Finn sighs unhappily.

“You’ve pooped haven’t you...... ”

Sniffing  tentatively  at  the boy’s heavy nappy, Finn grimaces  as his suspicions are  proved right.

“You better not pee on me....” he mutters with a scowl before shuffling reluctantly to the nursery, lugging the stinking, grousing baby in tow. 

“Your mother owes me big Junior. BIG!”

* * *

Things are beginning to  shift, h e can  _ feel it _ every time he wakes now.

Ben doesn’t fully recollect when it began, these slow, but substantial changes in sleep that leave him unnerved, and yet oddly thrumming with excitation.

As though as a match has been lit within him, the embers of a dormant fire starting to  catch and ignite.

He’s been having these dreams of late , these racing,  hazy recollections of things he doesn’t always quite  remember.  The images and sound distorted as though he’s looking at the scene through a wall of  depthless  water.

The figures are fuzzy and ill-defined, but they make him feel......they make him  _ feel  _ so happy and full of spirit, the meaning is never lost.

It takes a while to understand it all, but now he knows, this foggy window of featureless shapes is all he  has to view Rey’s new life on Naboo. 

Blurry as it is, to Ben, it feels like everything he’s ever wanted.

For he can taste and sense and know the joys that fill her days, to feel the everyday wonder, that it is to hold his son in her arms. The baby warm and sure against her skin, little hands clutching on her chest as he reaches for his mother.

Ben can smell the new, fresh flowers of Summer that grow close to whichever fertile, green place she has settled and begun to call home.

She is happy, blissfully so and it makes him happy to know this. To realise he is drawing closer as these shared senses grow more vivid and the colours sharper.

Ben savours how the fractured bond is healing, bit by bit, atom by atom, until the red thread of fate starts to tie them together once more.

The connection is getting stronger, he can feel it in his bones. There is a great energy that vibrates through the cosmos as the Forces builds and builds like water held behind a dam.

But Rey’s mind is like a vice to him, locked and shut away from the pain his apparent death had caused her.

Rey’s side of the bond too unstable and volatile to establish permanent links with which to reach her, the barrier near impregnable at times.

For she does not know he lives and so, what reason would she have to keep that channel open and have the wound of absence bleed on into all eternity. It would be foolish to let her mind remain in state of constant searching, not when all her  plantive calls had echoed sorrowfully into an abyss of nothingness. 

_ A constant reminder of loss. _

Ben cannot blame her for giving up, he too would have considered it hopeless. 

But now because of it, the disconnect adds an almost insurmountable barricade Ben cannot yet find the strength and focus to summit.

The last attempt scouring him of any illusion just how dangerous projecting himself across the cosmos could be.

He will have to be patient.

For only at rest and only at sleep, can their minds truly work as one.

It is in dreams that the distance between them is nothing more than starlight and dust. Miles reduced to mere quarter inches, and great chasms, to finger lengths of separation.

So close, yet unaware.

Sometimes when he wakes, Ben finds he is no longer in his lumpy, makeshift bed of canvas. His eyes meeting whitewashed walls lit by bright and cheerful sun, and for a second, one euphoric frozen moment, he is lying right beside her. Chestnut hair spread out upon her pillow as plump, rosy lips part in steady breathes of deep and untroubled dreams.

_ His beautiful Rey. _

Sometimes if he is lucky, his body finds itself tucked around her like blanket, shielding his love from the darkness of the night and the malignant phantoms that threaten ruin, but will never succeed. For they have been banished to the farthest realms of existence, never to find power ever again.

Ben holds her tightest on those night, knowing, once he blinks or lets his eyes drift from her face, all he will see is the dull stone of his dour hut walls, resplendent for a time in the coming dawn.

He need only blink and he is returned to that lonely reality so very far away.

But he must be patient, because there are times,  _ fleeting moments  _ when he finds himself beside her, that Rey’s breath hitches just a little as her eyelids flutter rapidly in confusion.

Something permeating deep into her subconscious, telling her,  _ she is not alone _ .

Ben’s scattered dreams are becoming more frequent now, the images sharping as these ephemeral meetings in her bed begin to form a consistent pattern. He relishes these gifted glimpses of her staggering beauty, quietly hopeful for the day her eyes will meet his again. Somehow, he is certain it will be soon, as Rey’s sleeping mind is registering a change around her, that great disturbance in the Force displacing her gentle peace every night.

It is clear her awareness is growing, wakefulness drawing closer as the tendrils of that once frayed bond start to secure a purchase in her mind. Those red and fragile threads forging a new and unbreakable chain, a binding connection stronger than any material in the known Universe.

Time is their only enemy, for time is the only thing that fostering this development.

And time, time can never be rushed.

Ben does not push and rage against the pace, for it will do no good.

Instead, he gives himself to the night and surrenders to those rushing, frustrated dreams.

For in dreams, in  _ sleep _ , they can always find their back to each other.

* * *

gThe first time the Force truly connects them of its own accord, Ben is completely blindsided and utterly unprepared. One moment he is standing, apathetically watching the Lanai in their village as they gut and clean the evenings meal of mackerel and mussels, and the next, it is as though all the ambient sound has been snuffed out like a candle.

The late afternoon glare is gone and  he is stood  alone  in the middle of a square and softly lit room.

At first the borders of this image seem opaque and without detail, but then all at once, the pieces start to fit. Forming shape.

Ben is facing a  simple  wall, starkly white a first.

But then.

The brilliant colours of a falling dusk start to bask the space in a wash of pinks and burnt orange, shadows rising in the figures of cypress trees and cheery, sunburst flowers. Turning slightly, Ben finds there is a large, wide window to his right, the lazy glow of the setting sun a sparkling burst of fire on the nearby lakeshore. Forging rubies, sapphires and every other precious stone he can think of upon its tranquil waters. The entire spectrum of visible colour reflects off that gently lapping lake, mirroring the sky as it merges with that distant, magnificent horizon.

_ Naboo _ -Ben smiles as he recognises the grand and mighty villa of his grandmother in the far corner of the winding shore. A feeling of contentment falling over him as he remembers his boyhood Summers spent here and the moments of passion he stolen with Rey on that very same island.

It feels as it were an age ago.

A different life.

There is a sudden, but very soft noise behind him , rousing him from his idle ponderings as the foreign sound  of life  fills his ears. Ben’s back stiffens as the that same sweet  sonance repeats.

It is the hum and faint gurgling of a child.

_ His child. _

Adhamh sighs softly, grunting to himself in these delicate little intakes of breath that almost breaks his father’s heart in two. Devasting him with the sheer love he fills from just that tiny sound.

Ben cannot help but beam, his cheeks almost aching from how hard his  is  smiling as he comes to face the two people he loves most in the entire Galaxy.

His chest feels heavy as soon as his eyes fall on Rey’s dozing face, an overwhelming rush of affection filling him as he takes in the tender scene. Mother and son nestled together upon the gently rocking chair as it sways back and forth, the sun’s final rays a flickering gold upon their faces.

Ben treads quietly forward, not wishing to disturb them as they dream their precious dreams. But as he draws closer, steps a silent journey of only inches but wider than any distance he can ever forge, he spies a set of two very curious golden eyes, staring straight back up at him.

Watching intently as this strange man moves further into his  eyeline .

Adhamh is wide awake it seems.

Ben huffs happily as his little son seems to turn to look at him better, his little hand open and closing as he clings to Rey’s oversized sweatshirt.

“Hey buddy, it’s good to see you again” Ben murmurs quietly, extending a lone finger to run over his son’s coal black hair and rosy little cheek.  Adhamh snuffles quietly, his curious eyes never leaving Ben’s face as he seems to react to this new and different voice.

“I hope you’ve been being good for your Momma” Ben adds with a huff of contentment, catching the baby’s hand with his middle finger.  Adhamh immediately grips on, his little dimpled hand comically small compared to Ben’s giant ones.

This simple moment makes Ben’s heart sing, a big goofy grin spreading across his lips.

“That’s quite a grip you’ve got there.....my big, strong boy” he whispers proudly, wanting so much to lean forward and kiss his son’s curly head, but all too concerned he will disturb Rey from her much needed rest.

She looks exhausted, laden down by the responsibilities of motherhood alone.

He will not wake her now, for there will be more opportunities ahead to kiss and hold his precious child.

Ben instead settles for kissing  Adhamh little fist as it wraps tighter around his finger.

“We’ll all be together soon, I promise you.”

Adhamh coos softly at him as though trying to talk back, little legs kicking in a sudden burst of energy. Ben laughs lightly, giving him a warm and enraptured smile as his son wriggles and makes the sweetest of noises.

And then,  Adhamh smiles back. All dimples and flashing gums, but it is the most beautiful thing Ben has ever seen.

“You have her smile .....” he whispers in a dazed delight “....wow”.

Adhamh smiles at him again and Ben is certain, he will never love another creature as much or as effortlessly as this little child. 

Rey seems to stir a little in her chair, her brow creasing in confusion as her senses start to pick up on something remiss. A disturbance in the Force.

“ _ Ben _ ?” she mumbles sleepily, her head turning toward him as her eyelashes start to flutter.

Her mind stuck between consciousness and  that heavy land of dreams, but never quite reaching either side.

Ben stares down at her, torn and not knowing if he should answer, if he should wake her.

In the end, the decision is taken entirely out of his hands.

There is a low buzz form at the back of his mind, a growing hum as though the frequency that connects them is tarnished by other interference. The grip he has on this word is falling beyond his control, for the bond between them is fading fast and it seems too soon and too cruel a trick to bear.

Ben can do nothing but accept it as it overrides every  effort, he can take to stop it.

Time is leaching away now, falling quick and steadily like sand through the cracks between his fingers as he tries to hold on tighter.

There is nothing to be done but grasps at what little relief and joy he can.

No longer thinking,  only acting as his  lonely heart demands.

Leaning forward, Ben dips down to Rey’s upturned face, kissing her so gently it is but whisper upon her skin. That full mouth so softly warm and feminine  and  _ real _ __ against his own.

Rey’s breathing seems to hitch, awareness growing as his tender lips seem to pull her from that careful slumber. Reality creeping back into her consciousness and senses alighting as Ben’s warm breath beats and mixes with her own.

Rey’s eyelids flutter and start to open as his face begins to fade in the brilliant dusk, her gaze sharpening as the ghost of his touch still lingers there. There is a salty sweetness on her tongue as she licks reflexively at the flushed flesh.

A familiarity in the taste that jolts her eyes wide and searching.

And for an instant, a single half-speed second, soft brown eyes meet brilliant hazel and with it comes a startling realisation. A thumping, unblinking awareness that renders her immobile, deadly paralysed by shock. 

And in this explosive, chimeric pause, they float as one in suspended animation, connected by the cosmos and every star that lights the path between them. Only fingertips of distance  holds them back, until both crash back down to that cold and solid ground.

Alone and riddled with frustrated confusion.

_ Alone _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for the cliffhanger.....sorry, this chapter was supposed to be more satisfying than that.  
> At least you got a kiss.....sort of haha.
> 
> Chapter 24 will have the real reunion, please just stick with me a little longer.
> 
> I promise it will be worth it, the angst is nearly over.


End file.
